dennys

Caden: Thank you for calling Denny's on (street name), this is Caden how may I help you?

Me: Hi, this is Jingo from the corporate office. How are you doing today sir?

Caden: Doing good, how about you?

Me: I'm doing okay. Umm, I'm looking over at the sensors here and it looks like one of the lights at your location went from green to red? And it seems like maybe one of the cash registers maybe isn't working how it is supposed to work?

Caden: Uhh are you talking about, like, the button on the Fraud Fighter kinda thing?

Me: Um, it could be that? We don't necessarily know. Is it malfunctioning?

Caden: No it's not malfunctioning at all. I just cashed somebody out. It was just fine.

Me: Oh okay, so you haven't had any problems with the cash register?

Caden: No, not at all.

Me: Oh, do you think we could do a reset on it?

Caden: Yeah that's totally fine man. Do you know how long that would take?

Me: Yeah just one or two minutes.

Caden: Yeah that's totally fine, man.

Me: Alright. Um. Basically... you know where the breaker box is, right?

Caden: Umm... I'm sure... I'm sure I could find it. Heh.

Me: Alright. It should be in the backroom somewhere. Some people have it in the front. It depends on the store.

Caden: So, the thing is, if it is in the backroom where the office is, they lock it up and I'm the only grave guy and I don't have a key.

Me: Ahh, that's okay. You can actually reset the register from... you know, just from the register. It's just... it's a little weird how we reset it, so I tell people to just go to the breaker box, because no one believes me when I tell them how to reset it.

Caden: That's okay.

Me: Basically, it's made so there is a little bit of sensor-- it's an impact sensor on the inside. And whenever you smack the register with your hand on the right side-- just open hand. Don't punch it, don't dent it. Just an open hand on the right side. You want to feel up and down--

Caden: So on the cash register itself? Like the one that holds the money?

Me: Yeah, on the cash register. You just--

Caden: Slap it on the right side?

Me: Yeah slap it on the right side. Just slap it up and down and I will tell you whenever I find the sensor because I will be able to see the light here go from red to green.

Caden: Alright.

Me: So just go up and down on the right side and I will tell you when to stop.

Caden: Okay... uh...

At this point, Caden smacks the cash register 10 times loud enough for it to be audible to the phone. Customers start to get a little rowdy in the background, it sounds a lot like they could be joking about the cashier hitting the cash register. Then he stops and asks...

Caden: Anything yet?

Me: No. Keep going.

Caden: Alright.

Caden then smacks the register 10 more times. I mute the line so he can't hear me and I say to my friends:

Me: Okay someone place an order. Three... two... one...

Nick: Hi, can I make an order please? For some eggs and uh... toast?

Caden: Oh you-- uh talk-- uh... you want some eggs and toast?

Nick: You guys serve breakfast?

Caden: We do.

Nick: Okay awesome. Yeah. I'd like to get some eggs uh... over easy please?

Caden: Oh wait... hold up... so I was just talking to corporate I swear. Is this--

Nick: Corporate?

Caden: Oh my gosh. Okay so I had this phone call that was talkin' to corporate and then it switched to you. So would you like some egg and y-- what else?

Nick: Corporate?

Caden: Yeah for Denny's because they said our machine wasn't working right. So they call, and then all of a sudden you pop up.

Nick: No, I just called man.

Caden: Oh so this was you!?

Nick: No, I just called right now to make an order for some eggs. That's it.

Caden: Oh yeah cool. I don't know what went wrong with the phone. Okay, then what can I grab for you?

Nick: Uhh, I'm gonna get two eggs over easy. Umm... toast

*Nick whispers* white master race

Nick:... and uhhhhh... sausage.

Caden: Then wha-- you said two eggs over easy, and then toast and sausage?

Nick: Yeah yeah. WHITE toast.

Caden: K, and then you can grab one other thing for it to be the "Build Your Own Slam" would you like to do that?

Nick: Yeah sure. Do you guys have um... do you guys have hashbrowns right?

Caden: We do.

Nick: Yeah I'll get some of those please.

Caden: K, sounds good man. Will that be everything for you?

Nick: Hold on one second...

*long pause*

Me: Hey, this is the corporate office. Are you still there?

Caden: No way... no... *laughing* what is going on??

Me: I... I don't know I just heard some beeping.

Caden: Okay so... I... this is going to sound weird to you, but I just got off the phone with a guy that wanted to make an order for eggs and over easy hashbrowns--

Me: Really?

Caden: And then he disappeared and then now you're back on the phone.

Me: That is so weird because the same thing happened to me earlier today on another Denny's phone line! So I think there might be an issue--

Caden: Are you serious!?

Me: Yeah!

Caden: No! I'm-- I'm trippin'. This is ridiculous.

Me: *laughing* that is crazy! I just-- I heard some beeping and then it just let me back in... and now we're here and we're talking again.

Caden: You promise this is not a joke right now?

Me: *causally laughing* no this is not a joke!

Caden: No it has to be a joke! This is too crazy!

Me: *laughing* that is crazy.

Caden: Okay, so, you want me to continue to hot the register with my right hand?

Me: Yeah, on the right side.

Caden: Aw dude, I'm gonna feel stupid if this is a joke.

Me: Don't worry man.

Caden: Okay, here. Ready?

Caden hits the register 8 times

Caden: Anything?

Caden hits the register 2 more times.

Me: No, not yet. You might have to go a little high.

Caden: Alright.

Caden hits the register 7 more times

Caden: I am in, like, every spot right now. I don't know what's going on.

Me: You might have to be a little more firm.

Caden hits the register 9 more times much harder and at a much faster pace than before.

Caden: Anything? Because that was like, hard. And it was like on everything.

Me: It went green for a second but it went back to red. So you might have been in the right spot.

Caden: Alright. Imma go like five second apart and you tell me when it's green okay?

Me: Alright.

Caden continues to hit the register 7 more times at a very slow pace.

Caden: Alright, anything? Because that was like in every spot again.

Me: Aw man we lost it. I don't know what happened.

Caden: Alright, well, I'm gonna go check id my breaker is back there because this would be so much easier.

Me: *trying not to laugh* hey man, it's just a prank call. I'm sorry 😂

*everyone starts laughing*

Caden: I KNEW IT. DAMNIT. YOU GUYS ARE TOO GOOD. Okay... I'm not even pissed about this. This is too funny.

Me: Hey, you're a good sport.

Caden: Yeah I'm not even pissed about that. This just made me laugh the whole time. Do you guys--

Justin: Can we still get that gram slam order?

Caden: You guys still want your meal?

Me: No, don't make the order.

Caden: Sounds good. I hope you guys have a bomb ass day.

Me: You too man.

Caden: Peace out.

Nick: You too man, peace out.