Shun-Blackpool

>You are Sharpie
>And following acliched incident that need not be explained, you are now on earth, with your new buddy, Anon
>It's mid September
>Anon has spent the day washing his car
>You weren't allowed to help, because you kept getting your glittery wing dust all over it
>You hardly saw the problem, you thought it made it look pretty
>But, there was water involved
>You really didn't like water
>Or getting wet
>And both Anon and the car seemed to get really wet
>Why did the car need washing anyway? It was only going to get dirty
>You give up trying to comprehend why Anon pays his car almost as much attention as you
>Instead, you're watching TV and eating a cardboard box
>Cardboard was really dull, and tasted of, well, cardboard
>Conveniently, you'd found some honey in the cupboard and livened it up
>Living life on the culinary edge
>Yeah, no, that Gordon from the television would probably call you a "Fucking shit fuck useless cunt fuck can't fucking prepare shit cunt food FUCK." if he saw what you had created
>Anon wanders in, breaking your train of thought
>That should be braking. That shit was already off the rails and ploughing through a field of goats, he was bringing it to a stop.
>Anon is wet.
>Had you pointed out to yourself that you didn't like water yet?
>Or had you pointed it out to Anon?
"Eww, Anon you're all wet! Stay away from me!"
>He frowns at you
>"I still don't get how you can be afraid of water."
>You scrunch your nose up and object to his statement
"I'm not afraid, I just... don't like it?"
>He lunges towards you with his wet arms outstretched and you jump back
>"Yeah, whatever."
>You pout.
>Anyway, I'm taking you to Blackpool tomorrow to see the Illuminations."
>That was a big word
>One you'd not heard before
"Illumininishuhns?"
>You couldn't even say it
>"Lights"
>You loved lights
>Like more than anything
>Ever
>You inform Anon of this
"I LOVE LIGHTS MORE THAN ANYTHING EVER!"
>"I know you do"
>He smiles at you and you attach yourself to his leg
>His leg is wet
>Eww
>Anon goes upstairs to get dry and change his clothes
>Whilst you wait for him, you watch Jeremy Kyle and finish your cardboard
>But you were super excited
>Like bouncing off the walls excited
>But only metaphorically
>Because if you were actually bouncing off the walls you'd get dust everywhere, and Anon would chase you with the broom and make you clean it up.
>And possibly beat you. Lovingly, if that was possible
>Eventually, Anon came back down and you set off for Blackpool
>The journey itself was uneventful, and went on for a few hours
>It was dark by the time you reached Blackpool
>The place still looked like a proper shithole though
>The Illuma-illuni- lights were hanging above the road on the seafront
>(Ewww water)
>They were in the shapes of all sorts of things, and flashed in different patterns
>This would've been great
>But it wasn't
>Anon wouldn't let you out of the car
>And the car was in a traffic jam
>It took what seemed like days to get to the end of the two mile stretch
>The most interesting bit was when a tram caught fire and a fat bloke put it out with an extinguisher
>Anon apologised to you afterwards for forgetting how shit Blackpool was
>You stopped for a crafty Maccas on the way back
>Maccas had really good fries
>Anon bought you an LED torch from a petrol station to make the day up to you
>You loved the torch
>You loved Anon
>They day hadn't been that bad after all
>You nuzzle Anon's cheek and rest your head on his shoulder, watching the headlights on the other carriageway
>Eventually, you drift off to sleep, with Anon stroking your mane