So, obviously there's a lot in there. My main response is to re-iterate a lot of stuff I've said previously. You aren't a failure of a woman because you couldn't give *that one specific partner, who it has been established was not good at working with you on things* sexual intimacy. From everything that I've seen, you're kind, funny, and smart, which ticks 80% of the boxes that any given person looks for in a partner. You're also reasonably conventionally attractive (I'm deliberately trying to avoid using language that would make you feel objectified in some way, here) and anyone worth being with will be willing to work with you on the topic of sex, as well as dealing with any issues around smell, although I remain entirely unconvinced that said issues are anything but the complaints of someone with zero sexual experience.

I have breaks from 11-12 and 1-2. Do you want a hug? I'm also done-ish at three: I'm giving blood at 3:15, so my commitments are formally discharged at ~4, if you want to hang out.

Thoughts your brain produces at 2:30 AM are notoriously less reliable than those at other, more sunlit, times of the day.