Heartless 4: Revelations

>Pan back to Twilight's Library
>Rainbow has just finished regaling you and Twilight with the story of Fluttershy's past
>Starting with her home life as a filly
>Through the day she was taken from her parents
>And ending with the torment she endured at the hooves of Sunburst
>Twilight and yourself sat wide-eyed in horrified silence throughout the enervating tale
>As Rainbow finishes, you look at Twilight
>She looks like she's about to vomit
Rainbow... we didn't know...
>You're at a loss as to what to say
>Rainbow interrupts:
>'You didn't know because she didn't want you to know.'



>Rainbow begins to tear up
>'S..she didn't want ANYp0ny to know....  She just wanted to put everything behind her.'
>'She made me promise to not tell anyp0ny.... And I didn't... But.....'
>She finally breaks down into sobs
>As fucked as this situation is, you finally understand why Rainbow never got involved in helping to stop Fluttershy
>She knew Fluttershy was eventually going to get hurt again, but the only way to make sure she would be let down as gently as possible would be to tell her life story
>A story she was told to never tell, under any circumstances
>You don't envy Rainbow's position
>What's Loyalty supposed to do when the most direct way to help someone is actively betraying their trust?
>As you reach over to comfort Rainbow, you hear a furious thumping at the door
>Shit
>There's only one thing in Ponyville that makes that sound that low to the ground
>Angel



>You and Angel don't like each other
>At all
>He was spoiled, selfish, and rude
>And you let him know early on that you wouldn't deal with that
>It became quickly apparent that he didn't appreciate being told to 'get fucked' as often as you were saying it, and started lashing out at you
>First it was physical, like biting and kicking
>But as you spent more time in each other's company, and as you began to understand the weird 'not-quite-talking' rabbit language of his, he began insulting you directly
>It only worked sometimes, though;  he couldn't articulate thoughts as well as he could feelings
>But you got the message:  'You're not welcome here'
>It all came to a head when Fluttershy had to pull you both aside and tell you that if you didn't get along, it was no grilled cheese for a week
>It was emotional blackmail and she knew it, but it got you two to put your differences aside
>In front of Fluttershy, at least
>So it came as a complete shock when Twilight opened the door and Angel made a beeline to you, a look of dread and panic in his eyes
>Stopping about three feet from you, and knowing you could understand him, he began his little speech of foot thumps, ear twitches, and hand signals
>He seemed agitated, so you couldn't make it all out, but what you got was:
*Fluttershy...sad... quiet... angry... scared... loud... crazy...*
>He paused for a second, shuddered, and made one more sign
>Once he made it, you could feel the blood rush from your face and a rock form in your stomach
>You jumped to your feet



>You were the first person that Fluttershy had ever seen make that sign
>It was just after she asked you how your first day at work was
>As a joke, you placed a fist on the back of your neck and jerked it upward, pretending to pull your body with it and letting it dangle
>She'd never seen that sign before, so she asked what it was
>You said, matter-of-factly, that it was an expression on earth that meant 'it was so horrible I'm killing myself'
>She thought you were serious
>It took three days of convincing her that it was an expression before she believed you
>And even then she made you promise that you'd never do it again
>You promised
>Angel, however, didn't have to promise, and so the next day you were greeted with a paw pointing at you, followed by a noose gesture
>In no uncertain terms, you understood this to mean 'you should go kill yourself'
>Fluttershy saw this and gave him an uncharacteristic tongue-lashing
>He looked slightly traumatized at the end of it
>It seemed to work, though;  He never did it again
>Until today
>Back in the present, he quickly followed it with
*help*
>Without saying anything, you took off for Fluttershy's cottage, praying you weren't too late



>Time slows
>If you were arrogant, or wanted to pretend to know anything about relativity, you'd say you were going so fast time had to slow to compensate
>You're not, though, and at the present time you're too preoccupied to pretend anything
>You are, however, surprisingly lucid
>Your thoughts seem to be going at normal speed, even though the world around you has slowed to a crawl
>Flashbacks of a psychology class you took forever ago flood your mind
>A fat man in glasses droning on about chemicals that influence awareness
>In this case, adrenaline and noradrenaline
>Adrenaline, the flight response
>Increasing heart rate and oxygen saturation
>Inhibiting lactic acid production
>Allowing a person to run for seemingly forever
>Inhibiting focus and memory formation
>Preventing you from remembering what scared you so badly
>The 'RUN.  NOW.' chemical
>You identify the adrenaline coursing through you, but it doesn't seem to make sense
>You're too alert for adrenaline
>But you have the speed
>Speaking of speed...



>Rainbow Dash has caught up with you
>You are aware she's asking what's wrong, but her voice sounds stretched and distorted
>Not breaking stride, and in between breaths, you instruct her to go to Ponyville Hospital, and to send an Emergency Response unit to Fluttershy's cottage
>You tell her that you fear Fluttershy has hurt herself, or worse
>A look of confusion races over Rainbow's face, and she asks you to repeat yourself
>Knowing time was of the essence, you decided to cut to the quick
GET AN AMBULANCE.  FLUTERSHY'S TRYING TO KILL HERSELF.
>Horror overtakes confusion, and Rainbow pulls a 120, rocketing herself off behind you and back toward town
>Meanwhile, the lecture continues
>Noradrenaline, the fight response
>Made in extreme circumstances, when the body has no choice but to fight or die
>Increases heart rate and oxygen saturation
>Also increases alertness and response time, useful allies when fighting for your life
>Stories float through your mind
>Stories of 120 pound women ripping through quarter inch thick steel bolts, tearing a car door off its hinges
>Fingers leaving dents in the frame from their strain
>Tossing the door as if it were made of cardboard
>To get to their children, trapped in a blazing car
>Stories of an elderly grandfather, riding his lawnmower and falling off
>His young granddaughter getting in front of the machine, trying to stop it
>Instead falling feetfirst before a 700 pound beast of roaring fury and swirling blades
>A granddaughter being devoured, screaming, as the machine trudges inexorably onward
>That same grandfather, bent with age, not only moving, but LIFTING
>and THROWING
>Seven hundred pounds of violent death off his granddaughter
>The titanic strength and mental clarity that noradrenaline offers
>You feel it



>The lecture continues
>Norepinephrine stimulates the centers of the brain that create short and long term memory
>Meaning whatever happens when you get to Fluttershy's is likely to be burned into your memory forever
>The price of this strength, he continues, is that the body uses every scrap of energy it can find
>Once the noradrenaline wears off, you're left feeling extremely tired
>You'll worry about that later
>You dread the worst, but hope feebly for the best as you continue on to Fluttershy's
>After what seems like a lifetime, but you know to be only a few minutes, the cottage is in sight
>You notice a broken window, and a vase surrounded by broken glass
>Nothing else out of the ordinary
>As you approach, you consider the fact that the door may be locked
>You have to assume it is, you can't take the chance that it's not
>Plan of attack:  aquired
>As you near the door, not slowing down, you let loose a primal scream you didn't even know you could muster
>And put your entire weight into tackling this door
>Turns out it was locked
>Not that it stopped you
>As you hit, the wooden door splintered along the centerline and the screws holding the hinges to the jamb stripped their holes
>The bar locking the door was forced through the wood behind it
>The lock, to it's credit, stayed locked even as the door lay broken on the ground
>You pick yourself up off the floor, covered in cuts and splinters but not caring
FLUTTERSHY!



>You shout so your voice will carry, but even you can hear the panic and desparation behind it
>The house is silent, save for what sounds like the tub running upstairs
>No
>Not today you don't
>You charge the stairs and make your way into Fluttershy's room
>As you move, you take the scene in
>The curtains are closed, leaving the room enrobed in darkness
>The room reeks of... pineapple?  Banana?
>It's familiar, you remember they used to sell orange pineapple banana juice back on earth
>The bed is absolutely redolent with it, and it seems to be coming from a stain in the carpet as well
>The next thing you notice is the garbage
>Everywhere
>You'd guess that she did nothing but lay in bed and eat for three days
>Your eyes focus to the dark, and you see it
>The bathroom door
>You hear the tub running behind it
>I don't think so
>You approach the door, and with a roar worthy of Leonidas himself you plant your foot next to the doorknob
>This one wasn't locked, so the force of the kick sent the door flying open, embedding the knob in the drywall
>You rush in to find the scene before you:
>The water flows from the spout into the tub, overflowing the white porcelain and spilling onto the floor
>An empty bottle of sleeping pills is being gently pushed away from the tub as the water cascades over the side and flows out
>And the tub...



Oh God
>Fluttershy's in the tub
>The mane that isn't matted to her face is suspended in almost etherial beauty in the water
>Her body is limp, her back left hoof flat against the end of the tub
>You rush over and push her chin up out of the water
>Through the thin mat of pink on her face, you can see that she appears to be unconcious, but not dead
>Thank God
>At a glance, it seems that as she drifted off her left leg locked at an awkward angle, keeping her from slipping completely under the water
>You say completely because even though she didn't fully submerge, she was nose-deep in the water when you found her
>Her mouth clamped itself shut, her body desperately trying to keep the water out
Not today
>You slam the spigot closed with probably much more force than was needed
>You dip your arms in the frigid water, lifting the limp form of the mare who made your life a living nightmare for the past eight months
>You didn't want this
>You never wanted this
>You just wanted her to leave you alone
>You pull her out onto the floor, and feel for a pulse
>It's thready and fluttery, but it's there
>Fucking good enough for you
>You pinch her nose shut, and for the first time in a long time, your lips meet
>If the last kiss you administered was a kiss of death, condemning you both into a spiral that drove you slowly mad to the point of THIS....
>This one, by God, this one would be a kiss of life!
>You force oxygen into her lungs, and are met with a sick gurgling sound
>Oh God there's water in her lungs
>Sounds like a lot of it, too
>A fresh surge of norepinephrine hits you
NO!



>You position your balled hands in the center of her chest, and begin your rhythmic pumping
>As you pump, you're rewarded with weak spouts of clear, yellow-green liquid expectorating from her lungs
>You pump harder, expelling more liquid each time
>Your next breath still gurgles, but less than the first time
>Continuing to pump, you feel one, then two of Fluttershy's ribs snap under the pressure of your hands
>You panic, but don't stop pumping
>You've heard before that broken ribs are a good sign
>For what seems like hours, you continue this cycle
>Breathe
>Pump
>Repeat
>You still hear faint gurgling from her lungs, but you've pushed as much water out as you're going to be able to
>You're pretty sure you could stop now, but you don't want to take the chance
>You might as well, too
>You've performed CPR before; It's exhausting
>This time you're not tiring out
>The chemicals in your blood are seeing to that
>FINALLY, the Ponyville paramedics arrive to the scene, accompanied by Rainbow Dash
>They intubate her and check her pulse, lifting her onto a stretcher
>Relief floods through you as they tell you she's stable
>You tell them about the sleeping pills, and the water in her lungs
>You also tell them you're going with her to the hospital
>They say that's okay, but their next comment stops you dead in your tracks:
>'Thank Celestia you were here, son.  If it wasn't for you, she'd be dead, no two ways about it.'
>'You're a hero.'



H-hero...?
>No
>You're not a hero, this is your fault
>*If it wasn't for you.....*
>If it wasn't for you, this would all be unnecessary
>If it wasn't for you, Fluttershy would still be okay
>This is all your fault
>THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU STUPID, STUPID ASS
>That's the last thought through your head before your vision goes white and the floor rushes up to greet you

>You are now Rainbow Dash
>You find Anon in Fluttershy's bathroom, shakily performing CPR
>As the professionals take over, he stands up and stutters something about sleeping pills and how he's going with her to the hospital
>They thank him, and call him a hero
>You kind of agree with them
>Even though this is mostly his fault, his quick thinking really saved Fluttershy's life
>Upon hearing the word 'hero', Anon stopped shaking
>'H-hero...?'
>As he said it, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his legs buckled
>You dashed forward and caught his torso before it hit the ground
>At first you started to panic; You thought he had a seizure or something
>Then you heard a snore escape his lips, and understood
>All the stress he was under from the time Angel showed up at Twilight's until now
>He's been redlining for close to a solid half an hour
>Poor guy, you thought; He's exhausted
>The medics load him and Fluttershy into the ambulance, and take off toward Ponyville hospital.



>You are now Anon
>Your eyelids slowly flutter open as you hear the rhythmic beep of a heart monitor
>Sweet pony Jesus
>You feel like you were hit by freight truck
>A quick scan confirms that you're in a bed in Ponyville hospital
>There's a sharp pressure in your arm when the intraveinous needle tugs the side of the bed as you rub your palms on your eyes
How..
>No, wait
>You remember
>You remember EVERYTHING
>Angel's terrified expressions
>The look of horror on Rainbow's face when you told her to get an ambulance
>Tearing a door to pieces as if it were made of balsa wood instead of solid, heavy oak
>And Fluttershy...
>Oh God, you remember every detail
>Her hair floating in the water
>Pulling her soggy, limp form from the tub
>The churning in her lungs as you displaced the water she inhaled
>It all hits you at once, like a bucket of cold water
>You bolt upright, aches and pains and splinters be damned
F..Fluttershy...



>You grab the rails on the bed, and attempt sliding yourself off
>God damn, you're sore EVERYWHERE
>Your arm tugs the I.V. drip, and the stand the what-you're-assuming-is-glucose bag is hanging from follows
>It seems WD-40 doesn't exist in this plane of existence;  it screeches like it's been wounded
>A female unicorn in a candy-striped dress pokes her head in the door
>'Oh, Mr. Anon!  We didn't know you were up!'
Where's Fluttershy?
>She smiles and says
>'She's in the next room; you can visit her if you want.'
>'Also, the doctors told me you're free to stay and rest until whenever you feel like leaving;  You were never formally admitted, so you can't be formally dismissed.'
>You thank her for her kindness, and stand up on shaky legs
>She says
>'Oh, it's nothing really.  We had the bed to spare, and it's nothing that a hero like yourself doesn't deserve.'  She beams
>Her words hit you like a punch to the stomach
>Hero?  You're not a hero
>You're a monster
>A heartless monster that drove the de-facto Kindest being in Equestria to drown herself like a rat in a tub
>You grab the drip-rack, steadying yourself from falling over
>You don't deserve anything
>You walk past the nurse, into the next room
>Your body was not prepared
>You cling to the drip-rack as you look at her
>Fluttershy



>Hooked up to all sorts of machines, with tubes and wires running everywhere
>The first thing that catches your attention, though, is the heart monitor
>It's thumping steadily along, strong and healthy
>You relax a bit
>She's going to be okay
>But still...
>Seeing her frail form hooked up to this network of life support...
>You begin to tear up
>The nurse says that she'll recover, that upon admission her stomach was pumped and her lungs were mostly drained
>But, there was still some water in them, water that she'd have to work out on her own, and that process was going to be extremely painful
>They decided to keep her in a state of drugged unconciousness for a few days, to let the water work it's way out naturally
>You nod your head, not taking you eyes off of Fluttershys prone form
>You need to leave
>As much as you want to sit there and wait for her to wake up, your guilt is creeping up on you
>Because this is all your fault
>You inform the nurse that you're leaving, and she seems shocked
>However, she removes the glucose drip with no questions, and walks you to the door
>You thank her, and give her a number for her to reach you for when Fluttershy wakes up
>And with that, you begin your walk home



>The walk is uneventful, which allows your mind to wander
>Mainly back to the fact that your callous actions caused the living embodiment of Kindness to attempt s....  sui....
>You can't even think about it
>You force yourself to sing, blocking out this guilt
>The first song to your mind is a country song from back on Earth
La la la la la la la...
La la la la la la laaaaaaaaa...
>Oh....
>You're a real dick, brain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP9sfVNbvqI
>You deserve this, all of it
>You snap back to reality, and find yourself at Fluttershy's cottage
>Of course you'd come here
>You absentmindedly poke through the wreckage you left in your wake, thinking about how you could do this
>It looks like a wild animal broke this door down;  there are pieces everywhere
>You go upstairs, your nose ignoring the smell eminating from the bed
>To the bathroom



>There's water everywhere, and the tub is still full
>The door is still wide open, knob embedded in the drywall
>Okay, that was impressive
>You're honestly kind of surprised that you reacted so violently
>But you couldn't help it
>Every fiber in your being was commanding you to get to Fluttershy
>To stop her
>To protect her, no matter what



>.....
Wait...
What?
>Your shock causes you to actually speak
>You were driven here by something
>Not guilt, you knew what guilt felt like
>Something else...
>Thoughts swim in your mind
>Thoughts of women fighting like animals to protect their children from a fire
>Thoughts of a man throwing four times his body weight off of his wailing granddaughter
>Thoughts of a solid wood door torn to pulp as a man crashes through it in a desparate attempt to save his friend's life
Friend?
>You pause
>Somehow that word doesn't seem applicable anymore
>Even so, you're responsible for this mess
>Through your confusion and ache, you begin to chuckle
>Not from anything particularly funny, just because of nerves
>And relief
>Everyone's through the worst of it
>Even if you don't know all of the implications yet
>One thing you're sure about, however
>You have a lot of work ahead of you
>You firmly grasp the bathroom doorhandle
>Still grinning, you tear the handle out of the wall

End part 4