El Presidente

Apr 17th, 2016
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  1. >Another day, another shift at the cigar factory.
  2. >Pride of the island's economy.
  3. >Known the world over for its high quality, pony made cigars.
  4. >At least, that's what the guy on the radio says.
  5. >The year is 1962.
  6. >Again, at least, thats what the exciteable fellow on the radio says.
  7. >This entire world is kind of strange to you.
  8. >At least for now, you can head home.
  9. >Surprisingly, your place here on this island is bigger than where you lived back in Equestria.
  10. >Our Town didn't have the biggest homes...
  11. >And your place here was designed for humans, not ponies.
  12. >Something about redesigning the tenements for ponies would be a waste of money, when we still fit fine.
  13. >The food's pretty good too.
  14. >Not so much hay and oats, that stuff has to be imported.
  15. >It doesn't grow so well on the island.
  16. >But, you pretty much got all the corn, papaya, bannana, and pineapple you could ever want.
  17. >While you are walking down the street, you hear some commotion around the next corner, in a dark alley
  19. >Out of curiosity, you peek your head around the corner.
  20. >Before you stands two humans.
  21. >One, dressed in something the humans call 'camoflauge' with a red beret, the other dressed in a fine light colored suit with medals covering his chest, wearing sun glasses, and a fancy hat.
  22. >With his hands raised in the air.
  23. >Oh shit.
  24. >It's El Presidente!
  25. >You'd recognize him anywhere, from all the statues around.
  26. >And the other human is holding a gun in his direction.
  27. >Oh double shit.
  28. >One of the rebels is holding El Presidente hostage!
  29. >And the rebel hasn't spotted you, it seems.
  30. >El Presidente has noticed you out of the corner of his eyes.
  31. >"Revolution will come, 'Presidente'! You will be forced to answer for your crimes against the citizens!"
  32. >Filthy rebels...
  33. >Carefully, you sneak up behind the distracted rebel, while he shouts off absurd charges at El Presidente.
  34. >Wich a quick buck to the back of his legs, the rebel is knocked over, and El Presidente quickly draws his own weapon, pointing it at the rebel.
  35. >"Filthy rebel! El Presidente has many loyal citizens whom love him. You made a mistake, trying to take me out in the midst of the city!"
  36. >With a quick swing of his arm, El Presidente pistol whips the rebel right in the face, knocking him out.
  37. >"You there, pony! You have saved El Presidente's life!"
  38. >El Presidente, leader of the greatest nation on this 'Earth' you find yourself living on now is speaking right to you!
  39. >And he is grateful for your help!
  40. >"You will come with me back to the palace! You shall become my pony personal assistant and body guard."
  42. >The palace!
  43. >Very few ponies ever get to visit the palace.
  44. >And now, you've been personally invited there by El Presidente to work for him!
  45. Thank you, El Presidente! I would be honored!
  46. >"What is your name, pony."
  47. I am Double Diamond, sir. I work at the cigar factory, pride of the Tropican Economy!
  48. >"Not anymore, you don't. Remember, you work for me, at the presidential palace now."
  49. >El Presidenty nods, as he pulls out a cigar and lights it up.
  50. >"Your first job is to help me carry this dirty rebel to the guard post, the next street over."
  51. Yes, sir!
  52. >El Presidente grabs the man, and lifts him over your back.
  53. >Being a strong Earth Pony, you are plenty strong to carry him, even if he drags quite a bit.
  54. >Come pony, to the guard post.
  55. >The sun gets lower in the sky, putting a brilliant orange glow across the capital city.
  56. >Kind of odd how they don't have someone like Celestia to move their sun...
  57. >It just kinda does it's own thing.
  58. >As you move along, the guard post comes into view.
  59. >As soon as the guards see you, along with El Presidente, they come running to meet you.
  60. >"Is everything OK sir?"
  61. >"Is that unconcious dude a filthy rebel?"
  63. >El Presidente holds up his hand, and the two guards who have come to meet you immediately are silenced.
  64. >"Yes, everything is fine. This filthy rebel tried to capture me, right in the middle of town."
  65. >He then motions to you.
  66. >"This fine pony citizen came upon me and assisted me in my predicament."
  67. >After pausing for a moment, El Presidente continues.
  68. >"Please take this rebel scum, and take him by the pub down on Santiago Street. The fellows there will know what to do with him."
  69. >Both guards give a sharp salute to El Presidente, and relieve you of your burden.
  70. >"Come pony, the palace awaits. It is not far."
  71. >Quickly and quietly, you fall in just behind El Presidente, and you walk to the presidential Palace.
  72. >The closer you get, the more common the beautiful statues of El Presidente and other Tropican heroes become.
  73. >Brings a slight tear to your eye...
  74. >Those who died spreading the Tropican way across the world.
  75. >All the wonderful things El Presidente has done.
  76. >Sure, you miss equestria, but this place is nice.
  77. >The food is all free, as is the housing, so all the money you get from your job goes towards whatever luxury goods you decide you want.
  78. >Things like imported oats.
  79. >Soon enough, you reach the front gate of the palace, and the guards greet El Presidente, and move to stop you.
  80. >"Sir, there is a pony following you into the Palace."
  81. >El Presidente stops, and turns to speak to the guard.
  82. >"Yes. He is with me. He is my new advisor and bodyguard."
  83. >The guard salutes El Presidente, and allows you to follow behind, into the beautiful gardens of the Presidential Palace.
  85. >"So, Double Diamond, was it? You are the first pony to show me true loyalty by saving me from that rebel."
  86. >El presidente continues strolling through the gardens, you following behind.
  87. >"For that, you shall be given residence here at the palace, and you will be my personal assistant, advisor and guard."
  88. Th-th-thank you, El Presidente!
  89. >Wow! You will get to live in the palace!
  90. >AND advise El Presidente.
  92. El Presidente... What of my belongings in my old home?
  93. >Your glorious leader waves his hand dismissivly.
  94. >"Tomorrow, once you have proper identification, and a uniform befitting your new post. You can go collect your belongings."
  95. >Oh man.
  96. >You are gonna get a swanky uniform too!
  97. Uhh... What kind of uniform is befitting my post?
  98. >"You shall wear the uniform of the top military officers of Tropico! White, with gold trim..."
  99. >El Presidente pauses for a moment.
  100. >"It shall be glorious."
  101. >You almost think you see a single tear falling down El Presidente's cheek.
  102. >But, you can never be sure.
  103. >Soon, you find yourself in a place very few creatures ever find themselves.
  104. >Inside the Tropcian ruler's palace.
  105. >Inside are many humans, working to keep the place secured, cleaned, and full of delicious food.
  106. >They eye you strangely.
  107. >After going up a few sets of stairs behind El Presidente, he stops in front of a large, ornate wooden door.
  108. >"Pony. These shall be your quarters here at the palace."
  109. Thank you, El Presidente.
  110. >"Take some time to get settled, and I will send my tailor to get your measurements for a uniform."
  111. >You bow before El Presidente, and proceed push to open the door to your new residence as he continues down the hallway.
  113. >Before you is a very large room, furnished with many variety of fine things.
  114. >On the far wall, is a balcony, that overlooks the capital of Tropico.
  115. >There are two doors on the left wall.
  116. >Hot diggity, this is amazing compared to the unit you lived in in the tenement.
  117. >A patio, and two whole doors leading to other spaces.
  118. >Man, you best check those doors out.
  119. >First, you move towards the closest door.
  120. >Upon opening it, you find an impressively huge closet.
  121. >You don't own much in the way of clothing, but it's still sweet to have.
  122. >Moving to the second door, you open it as well.
  123. >Inside, you find a bathroom.
  124. >Your own, personal bathroom.
  125. >Shit, it's twice as big as the one you shared in the tenement.
  126. >And you wont have to share it with half a dozen other ponies.
  127. >Here, in the palace, you will have the sweet life.
  129. >After a time of checking out the rest of the details of your new home, and resting on a big kamphy chair, a knock at the door rousts you from your siesta.
  130. >You move over to the door, and open it.
  131. >Beyond is a human.
  132. >A tall, thin human who greets you with a slight lisp.
  133. >"So, you are the pony I am to fit for a uniform."
  134. Yes, El Presidente wished for me to have a new uniform. You need to take measurements?
  135. >"Yes, sweetie, with a few measurements, I can get a fabulous uniform made for you real quick like."
  136. >The man pulls out a measuring tape.
  137. >"Stand with some good posture, and hold it, and then I can work my magic."
  138. >You take a deep breath, and assume the most elegant pose you can.
  139. >Then, the tailor moves to work, taking measurements all over your body.
  140. >Some of them, you think can't be necessary for fitting a fancy uniform...
  141. >But, he knows best.
  142. >He IS El Presidente's personal tailor, afterall.
  143. >"Alright. I should have a wonderful jacket ready for you by tomorrow morning. Ta Ta!"
  144. >El Presidente's tailor heads back out into the main all, leaving you alone once again in your new home.
  146. >A thought crosses your mind.
  147. >Your new place does not include a kitchen.
  148. >And, after a long day of working the cigar factory, and saving El Presidente, you are getting rather peckish.
  149. >You peek out the door into the hallway, and look around.
  150. >To the left, near the stairwell you came up, is a fellow dressed in green camoflauge, wielding a large, impressive rifle.
  151. >Surely, he knows where to find the food.
  152. >You move down the hallway towards him.
  153. Uh... Excuse me, sir... Where is the kitchen here in the palace? I'm kind of hungry.
  154. >The fellow looks down at you.
  155. >"You are new assistant to El Presidente, yes? Dining room is downstairs, second door on left."
  156. >He then salutes you.
  157. >"Hail, El Presidente!"
  159. >Soon, you find what appears to be a dining room.
  160. >It is... quite fancy.
  161. >This looks like the kind of place Princess Celestia might have eaten dinner.
  162. >Well, before...
  163. >No.
  164. >No need to think about that.
  165. Hello? Anyone here? I'm wondering where I can find dinner?
  166. >From a small door off to the side, a petite human woman sticks her head out.
  167. >"Hello?"
  168. Hey, I'm looking for where I can get some food.
  169. >"Shoo, pony shoo! You get food at the market. No pony in palace!"
  170. >The lady goes back into the other room after waving her hands at you.
  171. But... I'm El Presidente's new assistant...
  172. >Humans can be wierd.
  173. >And it seems this lady didn't get the memo.
  174. >After your additional comment, she sticks her head back into the dining room.
  175. >"Oh, you new assistant? Me so sorry. What food you want?"
  176. >Mmmm...
  177. >It's been a long time since you've had a good bowl of oats.
  179. Ummm, do you have any oats?
  180. >"Yes, oats. We have oatmeal. You want oatmeal?"
  181. >That sounds like a good option.
  182. Yes, please. That sounds tasty.
  183. >"You sit down at table. Me bring you oatmeal quick."
  184. >With that, the lady heads back into what you assume is the kitchen, and you grab a seat at the large, ornate table.
  185. >A few minutes later, the lady returns, with a large steaming bowl of oatmeal, with an additional tray of fresh fruit, sugar, and syrup.
  186. >The kind of fruit they don't grow on tropico.
  187. >Blueberries, grapes, strawberries...
  188. >Man, this might be even better than you thought it would be.
  189. >You put some blueberries into your bowl of oatmeal, and proceed to dig in.
  190. >A great way to finish the last day you had to work in the Cigar factory.
  191. >As you are finishing, the lady from the kitchen comes back out.
  192. >"You done pony? Need do dishes."
  193. Yes, thank you. The oatmeal and fruit was delicious.
  194. >"Good pony. You go now. Need clean table."
  195. Alright.
  196. >You step out of the chair, and head back towards your room.
  198. >Upon arriving back at your chambers, you flop upon your large, human sized bed.
  199. >It is as comfortable as you imagined the pegasus cloud beds felt.
  200. >You never got to try anything like that.
  201. >You couldn't afford one enchanted for an earth pony to sleep on, and in the village...
  202. >Well, everyone slept on a simple hay stuffed mattress.
  203. >You miss living there, simple though it was.
  204. >But, Tropico was a great place too.
  205. >Even working in the Cigar factory.
  206. >It's much nicer than the Equestrian factories.
  207. >Everypony in the Cigar Factory was happy.
  208. >Especially considering the fate most of the ponies here in Tropico were facing when the humans opened the portal.
  209. >You shudder at the thought of what might have happened.
  210. >After laying for an indeterminate amount of time, a knock comes at the door.
  211. >Outside, the orange glow of the sunset colors the edge of your room.
  212. "Yes, I'll be right there."
  213. >You stand up, and move towards the door.
  214. >A human in fine dress stands before you.
  215. >"Mister Double Diamond, your presence is requested by El Presidente in the meeting chambers.
  217. >The human who knocked upon your door has taken you to what is labeled as "The Cabinet Meeting Chamber"
  218. >It appears to be two stories below the ground level of the presidential mansion.
  219. >Within is a large table, surrounded by many chairs.
  220. >Currently, they are filled with a number of humans, with El Presidente sitting at the far end, with an empty seat next to him.
  221. >"Welcome, friend!"
  222. >El Presidente warmly greets you as you step in, and motions towards the empty seat next to him.
  223. >Some of the humans look at you strangely...
  224. >Others, angrily.
  225. >By Celestia, what kind of adders nest have you walked into?
  226. >You move to the empty seat next to El Presidente, and sit down.
  227. >"Welcome to my Cabinet. Around you are the greatest minds and movers of Tropico."
  228. >El Presidente moves his arms about the room, motioning to the humans sitting around this large table.
  229. >"Ees gut to see one of zee ponies making such a... nice impression on Herr Presidente."
  230. >The man who spoke in a strange accent, wearing a long white coat, looked and sounded slightly familiar...
  231. >Suddenly, it hits you.
  232. >This is one of the human scientists who created the portal between Equestria and Earth.
  233. >"Why do you bring one of these... creatures into your inner circle, El Presidente?"
  235. >El Presidente shoots a dirty look at the advisor who questions your presence here.
  236. >"He has proven his loyalty to myself and the state of Tropico more than many who sit in this very chamber."
  237. >The advisor, wearing a fancy green uniform, seems taken slightly back.
  238. >"He personally saved me from a filthy rebel who was trying to take me out."
  239. >While dipping his head, the advisor apologizes to El Presidente.
  240. >"I am sorry sir, it just seems so... unconventional."
  241. >"General, if you know me at all, I am not at all conventional."
  242. >El Presidente then moves his gaze back across the other humans sitting in the meeting chamber.
  243. >"Now, this is Double Diamond. As I said, he saved my life today, and I have chosen to bring him here to the palace an advisor on pony business, and as a personal assistant to myself."
  244. >El Presidente moves his powerful gaze to you, and gives a slight nod.
  245. Uhh... Hello everyone.
  246. >El Presidente nods again, and continues.
  247. >"We have many ponies living and working here in Tropico, and to keep them working hard and content, I feel having a pony here will bring useful insight to this council."
  248. >The other advisors turn to each other and mumble quietly, many of them sounding amenable to El Presidente's idea.
  250. >After your introduction, El Presidente moved the meeting into other business related to the running of Tropico.
  251. >To you, it was mostly nonsense that you couldn't make heads or tails of.
  252. >Sure, you could understand the words, but the way they went together was simply beyond you.
  253. >After an hour and a half, El Presidente called the meeting closed for the day, and all the advisors left the room and went their own ways.
  254. >El Presidente then turned to you as you were preparign to get up out of the stranage human chair.
  255. >"So, pony. You seemed confused at the meeting."
  256. Yes, El Presidente... Matters of state in a place like Tropico are a bit beyond me. Back before I came here, I was the right hoof stallion to a pony who ran a town...
  257. >You sigh sadly, thinking back to how things went in Equestria.
  258. >But, now is not the time for that.
  259. That was just taking her orders, and making sure everypony stayed the course.
  260. >El Presidente nods happily.
  261. >"Excellent. You will be a better assistant to myself than I might have imagined before."
  262. Yes, sir. I will carry out any order you ask of me to the best of my abilities.
  263. >"Good. I do infact have a specific task for you this evening."
  264. >Yes!
  265. >El Presidente already has something for you to take care of.
  266. >Hopefully, it's something super important to the stability and future of the best nation on earth.
  267. Anything, El Presidente! What will you have me do?
  268. >"I want you to go leave a flaming bag of poo on Juanito's doorstep."
  269. >...
  270. >wat?
  272. You want me to... prank the radio DJ?
  273. >"Yes."
  274. Uhh... any particular reason why?
  275. >"Because listening to him moan about the silly things that happen to him on the radio entertains me greatly."
  276. >Huh.
  277. >You suppose that makes a little more sense.
  278. >"And you are the perfect agent of mine to mess with Juanito. He doesn't know you. Not yet, atleast."
  279. >El Presidente then reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a small card.
  280. >"This card will grant you access to the palace when you return from your assignment."
  281. >El Presidente holds the card towards you, and you grasp it with your mouth.
  282. >"The guards at the front gate are quite loyal, and may give you a hard time. They only do their job, keeping me safe."
  283. >You flip the card onto your back, and respond to El Presidente.
  284. Thank you, El Presidente. But... how do you want me to assemble this 'bag'.
  285. >"Pony, I trust your judgement on how best to execute this assignment."
  286. >With that, El Presidente moves to the door, leaving you to your own devices.
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