Thread 25: Stories 31-45

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Non-canon
~~~
"When I reflect on my father, I recall a time we were in Canterlot together and a former friend of his in the guard met with him. Time had left the other stallion bitter and envious, he shouted 'why are you the chosen one? Why does every mare gravitate towards you? Why do you have an Empire? Why isn't it me? What makes you so special?' My father turned to him and smiled, and he replied to his old friend 'nothing.' I thought he was lying for so long to spare the feelings of that guardpony, but it was only as I grew older did I realize how right he was. It is not to say I loved him any less, nor that he loved me any less. Not to say people loved him less nor did he love them less. But it was our love for him that made him the stallion we know. It's because of us he has the strength to challenge gods."
-The Memoirs of Princess Applejack Two
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"42"
'42's thoughts'
"'Cadence'"

---

"'Oh Celestia, thanks for this. Been so long since I had one of your massages. They're just so good!'"

"H-ha, yeah, n-no problem."

'Giiiirl! You aint right! You done given a massage to this mare before aintcha? Why you gotta be all stuttering for now?'

"Y-you too."

'GIRL! You did not just autism your own thoughts! HMMHMM, I DON'T THINK SO!'

42 accidently slips a hoof and punches herself in the face.

"'Omigosh! 42, are you alright? Here, let me-'"

"N-no, it's fine. J-just a b-black eye. Still w-wanting a massage?"

"'Yush!'"

~~~
Later.
~~~

"'Oh my word, thankyou so much, my back is tons better and I think I'm gonna be like jelly for days! Thanks 42!'"

Cadence hugs the fighter-changeling affectionately.

"'Seeya tomorrow!'"

"..."

Cadence leaves.

"...Okay."

'GIRL, YOU GET READY NOW.'

42 is suddenly propelled backwards by a gushing nosebleed.

"...Worth it."
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Chrysalis flipped through the book ever so bored, Celestias desk was no fun when she was away engorging on therapeutic cake, she always burnt or locked away her papers when she was done, so there was nothing to mess up with her bug-butt. And this book was no fun either, it was just old Sorcerers texts about Neo-Quantum Magick Theorem of the Blah Yak-Yak Blahdy Blah. Still nothing on some kind of "Make him pile me over the railing and obliterate my rear" spell or enchantment, what a surprise.

She was still wasting her time when an orange and silvery shape dropped onto the ground from the ceiling behind her, wings vibrating as a hummingbird did as it landed onto the ground, with barely a whisper. Flashley Williams, feared cyborg pegasus killer, for it was he, Crept towards the unaware Queen, one hoof reaching back for Ol' Boomer.

Leaving his other "modified" forehoof to go 'Tink' on the ground

"...Flash..."

Just as the Queen whirled around at the noise, she was met with the sweet sound of *BLA-BLAM* right in her stupid bitch face from the hastily drawn sawn-off and sent flying over the room to crash into the wall

Seeing his chance, Flash leapt after her, a guttural "Finally..." on his macho lips as he sprung out his chain-hoof-saw (For which he needed a much scarier name for).

Unsurprisingly, chitin with that much stupid love in it didn't care much for buckshot, so while Chrysalis' face remained mostly unscarred from the blast as was now curling into a vile snarl, Flash didn't care, he had an awesome plan anyway.

"Flash Sentry!"

Not a moment lost, He revved up the Ol' Beaut (oooh, scary) and drove it straight into Bug-Bitches chest.

If she was yelling, it was lost beneath the sound of chitin screaming against hundreds of speeding saw teeth and the increasing splatter of whatever internal organs changelings had that were going splap all around him

He looked into her eyes, enjoying each second of it, driving the saw deeper and deeper- This was too easy, why hadn't he done this earlier? Man this was too much fun.

The revving died down, changeling gore sufficiently painting the walls, all that was left was to pull out and cut off her head, then maybe yell "LONG LIVE THE QUEEN" at anyone who could listen- Hell, they'd ALL listen!

"FLASH SENTRY!"

And then Flashes world went black.

And then it went black with little green text running down it very quickly. Some of it said SIMULATION TERMINATED.

And then it went grey barrel with lots of green stuff and his chainsaw and his hoof

And then he heard a terrible, terrible noise

"Flash. Sentry."

Flash turned his head towards the terrible sound that was his boss, Pennydop, and she looked very very angry.


"....Uh...Boss?" Flash began "Is it a bad time cos I was in the middle of-"

"A combat simulation, specifically, one with the Chrysalis Assassination file loaded, trust me, we heard plenty" Pennydrop answered ruefully, around her where some very scared warehouse workers and some very scary "secuirty guards"

"And I think we agreed after" She shuddered a little "-last time, that any and all simulations were kept to Your. Quarters. Only. Am I correct?"

Flash defintely heard someone stifle a titter in the background, somepony was in on the joke alright, "I uh, yeah I remember that... but what did I....just do?"

"Take a look for yourself" Pennydtop responded, looking past Flash to the barrel of-

"Oh"

"AdhesTouch, one full barrel ready to be shipped out for market testing, and what you thought was a decent enough imitation of Chrysalis, and you now have your saw stuck through"

She was right on more than one count, Flash instinctively tugged on his hoof, trying to free it from the congealing substance, but refused to budge, the titters were heard again. "Wait, didn't I shoot it first?"

She was right on more than one count, Flash instinctively tugged on his hoof, trying to free it from the congealing substance, but refused to budge, the titters were heard again. "Wait, didn't I shoot it first?"

This was not the sort of reaction Pennydrop would've wanted to hear, but she begrduglingly answered: "Thankfully, as you wandered in to the shipping warehouse while you were completely out of it, some employee showed PROPER thought and had your "toy" replaced"

Looking back, he caught sight of a very disgruntled Minotaur "security guard" holding up his sawn-off to commemorate his sour temper.

"Then wha-....Oh" Flash asked and answered as he saw his right hoof holding tightly onto....a hot-glue gun, molten adhesive trickling and hardening out of the tip

"Don't bother trying to make eny excuses Flash, i think it'd best that you just decide to learn your lesson about respecting company property" Pennydrop said with irritation.

"So, can someone help me out of this mess first?" Flash pleaded, the green AdhesTouch goop still spilling out over his left hoof.

Deaning herself not to answer, Pennydrop just sighed and walked away, to which the warehouse workers and "Security guards" found was the appropriate time to hurry back to their jobs.

"Don't you worry your idiotic robo-brain a bit, Flash" said Pennydrop "I'll call someone from Materials and from Signals to find the right button to push to let you out of there." And then she went through the exit and left him there.

Flash just watched dumbfoundedly at all the ponies deciding to ignore him, going about their jobs as they normally did, just avoiding his general area as best as they could.

"Stupid brain, making me do things I shouldn't" Flash muttered.

His chainsaw would've responded, but it was stuck so it couldn't do anything
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>77
"Random Changelings"
~~~~~~~~

>What are you all doing?

"We're comparing notes."

"Notes on 42."

"It's weird!"

>What is weird, exactly?

"Okay, you know how she's in love with Shining Armor, but is in total denial about it?"

"Like, SUPER denial about it."

>...Fine, yes, she is.

"Well, okay, it's either gotten worse or she's just gone full on bonkers."

>...Explain.

"I seriously caught her walking down the hall doing the "shiny twitch", but then she dropped to her side and screamed "I AM SO CONFUSED!", and then she rocked back and forth for a little bit, screamed "FUCK YOU BRAIN I'VE GOT ENOUGH PROBLEMS!" and then walked off."

>...Okay, that does sound a little crazy, I will have a word with her.

"Cool... could you have a word with Jugglejack too? His coltfriend is going to get the wrong idea."

>...

"....Oh! Uh, he's not here, so you don't have to wait for the 'not muh' and all that."

>I am not helping him with that.

"Shoot. There goes hinging my bets in the pool."

"I TOLD YOU! I RUN A CLEAN GIG!"

"...Any chance you could hook US up with some-"

>No.

"DAMN!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Celestia"
'Chrysalis'
[Twilight]
~~~~~~

>Now, see, when I said "Sombra wasn't ready yet so I had a minute to kill", I did not mean, "A minute to die". You see the problem, one entails an abstract concept being killed by a fun activity, the other does not.

"Will you stop? These explosives aren't armed, we're just setting them up."

'So negative sometimes, I swear.'

[They did this to me while you were gone.]

>I am so, so sorry Twili.

"Oh, worry wart."

[You wore a train like a cheap suit.]

'I wore it better.'

"Look, it's pretty simple. We use these explosives, which are NOT primed yet, to blow this side of the mountain. This will cause an avalanche of snow which we will then race away from at top speed, and the fun will be achieved."

>See this? This is my every day.

[Isn't this going to hurt someone?]

"Just the opposite! See, there has been a nasty drought for river at the bottom of the mountain, and a town depends on it. Normally, they just have to wait a week or so and it fixes itself, but there was a rockslide they just caught wind of yesterday, and they need another week or so to clear it. This snow is quite pure, so it will be an excellent alternate source that should last more than long enough to fix the problem!"

[...Couldn't we just move the snow?]

"Well, yes, we COULD."

[...Buuuut-]

"Now, if you'll all get ready-"

'Hey, Celly?'

"Yesss?"

'I thought you said the bombs weren't primed yet?'

"Well, yes, I said that. I said that because I did not prime them, and thus I wanted everyone to know this so that everyone had the proper information. Why?"

'Oh, okay, so what does the blinking mean?'

"...It means FU-"
~~~~~~~

"I missed you so much, Bubblehorse."

'Never leave us again.'

[Chrysalis, your ass is crushing my back legs.]

>At least she isn't in your lap.

'Damn it! SWITCH!'

"No. My Bubblehorse lap."

>So, how long until you get us out, Twili?

[Bout another hour.]

"Working together, I like that!"

>"'[...]'"

'SWITCH!'

"No."
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>29
"Applejack"
'???'
~~~~~~

>Look, must we prolong this inevitable end? We both know that like the passing of the seasons or the finality of life, mine goal shall be met. Eventually, I shall be allowed one of Celestia's golden necky things.

"No, ya' dang pervert."

>IT IS FOR THE YOUNG ONE!

"Suuuuure it is."

>No, really, he... um...

"Somethin' wrong?

>Yes, ah, a sock has just fallen atop thine desk.

"Don't worry about it."

>Where did that...

'Hiya!'

"29? Meet Arana, Arana, 29-"

>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"..."
'...Bad time?'

>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"Oh, hey, finally someone side's Chrysalis who recognizes-"

>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"WILL YA' STOP!?"

>NO I WILL NOT STOP THAT IS A FUCKING SPIDER-LING! SCIDERELLA'S HIVE! FUCK ALLLLLL KINDS OF YOU!

"She ain't that-"

>I SAW SCIDERELLA EAT A BUFFALO ONCE! WHOLE! SLOOOOOOWLY CHEWING! GO AHEAD, FINISH WHAT YOU WERE SAYING!

'Hey, I'll have you know that was a special treat! She only did it a couple times!'

>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"IFFIN' AH' GET YER' DANG NECKY THING WILL YA' LEAVE!?"

>YES! YES I WILL! I WILL PROBABLY LEAVE ANYWAY!

"Good, yer' Queen said not ta' talk ta' her anyway."

>OH MY GOODNESS SHE SAID SOMETHING INTELLIGENT! IT'S A NIGHTMARE! I AM LIVING IN A NIGHTMARE!

"HERE! Take the dang thing! LEAVE!"

*FLASH!*

>THANK YOU GOODBYEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*SLAM!*

"...Iffin' it makes ya' feel any better, nobody round here even likes that guy. His hive thought he was dead and nobody checked."

'...'

"...Twi had him in a tube fer', like, two weeks."

'...Momma wasn't THAT bad!'

"...Uh, sure."

'SHE WASN'T!... Mostly...'
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>Chrysalis
"Random Crystal Ponies"
'Applejack'
Rainbow Dash
~~~
>Oh, it's a beautiful day in the Empire-

PAWNCH!

>The fuck did you punch me in the face for?!

"I'm sorry, but it's the law now! Please don't hurt me!"

>... No, I know who I'll hurt...

Later...

>OGAASHAKKA-

Bam!

'Steel door!'

>Right... ow.

'Ya want me ta open it up fer ya'll?'

>Gimme a minute... Okay, I'm good. KER-POLITEOPENING!

'Cain Ah hep ya?'

>You know what this is about! And I don't know how you did it, along with not knowing a lot of things, but you somehow slipped a law past 18 where it's now required by law to greet me with a punch to the face!

'Chrysalis, if Ah wanted you ta git punched in tha face, do you think Ah'm tha sort that would do it by proxy? 'Sides, why do it in tha Empire an' not here where Ah wouldn't need to try to slip it past 18?'

>I know you did it! I will get you back for this!

'Well, in tha meantime, lemme give you th customary greetin' ta make ya'll feel like yer at home.'

>Wait- what- NOOOOOOOOO!!!

BAM!

>Team changeling's blasting off again!

Meanwhile...

A particular pegasus watches Chrysalis fly out the window from a skillful buck to her face and smirks

-Hard to believe people forget that the only pony I haven't been able to pull a fast one on is Pinkie.-
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Everywhere.
It felt like she had been everywhere.
Where was she going?
She wasn't looking.
She wasn't searching.
Go here, and she went.
Go that way, and she went.
But she didn't leave.
Not all the way.
She felt like she never left those places.
Any of those places.
She could almost feel it when something walked over here.
Like hoofsteps on her body.
What was she heading towards?
What was she waiting for?
She didn't know...
But it didn't matter.
Something was looking for it, in her.
It was going to find whatever that was.
That's fine.
She gave up.
That's all that matters.
She gave up...
So what was she waiting for?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Spike"
~~~
>Okay, let's go over a list, lizardo. You can make a few of the princesses swoon, you're a great secretary, a lab assistant, a dragon, a gunslinger, leader of the A-team, a great chef, and still only a child... BUT!...

Chrysalis pulls out a basketball

>CAN YOU FUCKING BALL?!

"Axtually, no. I mean you see how stumpy my legs still are?"

>Oh... Well how about

"No, I can't believe it's not butter either."

>Then how about

"I dunno why kids love cinnamon toast crunch! lines of death perception?"

>Damn, I was hoping you might have an answer for that, no one else seems to know.

"Ever consider asking some kids?"

>Well that's why I asked you!

"Huh..."

>Well do you at least know if Applejacks at least taste like her.

"That's total bullshit, real Applebutt tastes way better."

>Yes! I'm off to the ballroom to collect on my bet winnings!

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>SA
"18"
~~~~~

>Hey, 18. Just checking in to see how you were holding up since I left- wow.

"IT'S ALIIIIIIVE!"

>Really?

"I DON'T KNOW!"

>Eeesh. Listen, after this, why don't you take a vacation, you know? I didn't mean to leave you before all this stuff piled in, helping Sombra just sort of happened.

"Pfft, so worrying. It's fine."

>Of course it isn't fine, this is way too much for one poor soul to handle. Trust me, I know first hoof.

"Yeah, well, that's why you need me around, eh? So long as I'm here, it'll run perfect. It's fine."

>...18, come on.

"No, you need to come on. Me. Specifically."

>...18.

Her cocky air wavered, just a bit.

"....It's fine."

He sighed deeply, walking around the desk so that he could look at her face to face, and not through stacks of paper.

>18... I wouldn't make you leave.

Abruptly, the pen floating over a ledger started to shake and crack, and she looked away from him.

>Even if Chrysalis went on a revenge kick, even if it looked like we were going to have a fight with the Changelings, I wouldn't make you leave.

The shaking intensified, and the disguised mare just continued to stare at the wall beyond.

>And I know it might be hard to believe, but I don't think Chrysalis would make you go either. She knows how much you care for this place, and deep down she does really want you, all of them really, to be happy. But if she did, if she tried to force you to go, and you wanted to stay...

She couldn't hold back her choking noise anymore when he suddenly grabbed her, forelegs tight around her body.

>...I wouldn't let her.

All pretenses gone, she returned the embrace, tears spilling out onto his white coat.

"I-I can't leave."

>You'll never have to.

"I c-can't go back to where I was. To being who I was. I wouldn't last. I need this place... I... I..."

>Have a place here, always. I promise you.

Her words failed her, and she just buried her face further into her neck.

"I need... to be here. Here, with..."

>It's okay.

Something between a choked sob and a laugh came out.

"Y-yeah... I guess it is. Shiny, I... I..."

He waited, but nothing further came out. Not for a long, long time.

"...Thanks."

She couldn't see his smile, but she felt it. Felt it in the love that, even now, he subconsciously spilled out. Idly, she wondered if he even had the slightest idea how this felt...

>No... thank you...

It would be quite a long time before Shining Armor finally left that embrace, or it certainly felt like such, and left the room. Off to go and help a friend, as was his nature, but promising to return and allow her freedom to indulge in some pleasantries of her own. But the changeling he left behind had dried her tears by then, whisked away by an excited hoof, and the changeling had buried herself back into her work. That day, she would rectify three trade proposals, sign two bills into law, manage the funding for two different universities and even manage to catch a coffee break in there. She did this with a smile, and without complaining for once.

She did it because her Empire needed someone to do this, and she was there.

She did this... because Shiny needed her there.

Because her home needed her there.

And there... she would be.
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>Chrysalis
"Twilight"
~~~
"Hey, thanks for coming on such short notice."

>You mentioned you had an experiment involving Changelings, what else was I going to do?

"Well, actually, it was a half-lie, I knew that would get you over quicker."

>Right, unless this is some reverse engineered pheromone that'll get me into Shiny's pants-

"He doesn't wear pants"

>I'm gonna go back to watching my soaps.

"Well, Rarity and I were thinking of making some uniforms for the A-team with our spare funding, and she's got this ambitious idea about making a uniform that could shapeshift with 42 and 77, we'd promise to have it so only they could use the outfit-"

>Do it.

"Really?"

>Yes, and I want one of these shapeshifting outfits too.

"R-Really? Just like that?"

>Smarthorse, when you need to find clothing in my size, and regularly to attempt fetish and roleplays, having shapeshifting clothing helps a hell of a lot. I mean, look at this magnificent ass! Do you think normal denim will contain it?

"I-I'd rather not look at your-"

>LOOK AT IT!
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>SA
"Random Changelings"
~~~~

>Hey, have any of you guys seen Pink-

"It's the feeder!"

""""ALL HAIL THE FEEDER!""""

>...I'm sorry?

"I thought we were pretty clear, actually."

"It was four words, though. Maybe we weren't descriptive enough?"

"But how much more descriptive than 'all hail' plus the name or title of said pony being hailed do you need to get across that we are, in fact, hailing that pony?"

"I see your point, but then again we did use a title, rather than his name. We don't know what our Queen calls him."

"Feeder? Sir? What does our Queen refer to you as the most?"

>...Uh, "Shiny", I guess?

"""""ALL HAIL SHINY!"""""

"...I don't like that."

"Me either, three words is too short."

"And calling him "The shiny" would imply he was a robot or something."

"We could call him "the prince" or "Prince Shiny", since we call Applejack Prime "Princess Applejack" instead of "ballroom giver"."

"I suppose that works. We should probably go with "Prince Shiny", though. That way if we get two princes, we can tell them apart."

>Okay, my real name is Shining Armor-

"Well, why didn't you say so!"

"That solves all the issues I had with the length!"

"But now that we added the prince part, it's five words and too long!"

"OUR WHOLE SYSTEM IS COLLAPSING!"

>...I'm... I'm gonna go...

"""""GOODBYE PRINCE SHINING ARMOR THE FEEDER!"""""

>...Yeah...

"See? Too descriptive. We scared him off."

"We'll work on it."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>42
"42's brain"
'???'
~~~~~~

>I SWEAR ON THE VERY NAME OF LOVE, BRAIN!

"Oh, what did I do now?"

>Don't you fucking "what did I do now?" me! You know what you did!

"No, I don't."

>THE FUCKING DREAM, BRAIN!

"Ah. That wasn't me, that was subconscious."

>Well, get her out here!

"Can't, she's always under something and you never know if she's really there moving stuff or just a byproduct of outside stimuli."

>Well, if you see her, you tell her to cut it out!

"What did she do this time?"

>You know! You're brain!

"Hold up, accessing.... ah."

>Yeah, "ah", fucking... can you imagine what would happen if Luna walked in on that?

"We filed something to keep her out."

>STILL!

"Look, what do you want me to do? I go into sleep mode then. Because sleep."

>I don't know, but something! Go back to the Shiny dreams!

"Oh, hey, you're okay with that-"

>N-NO! NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO BE WITH SHINY THAT WOULD BE WRONG HE LOVES CADENCE NOT ME I'M JUST PUNCHBUG I HIT THINGS BUT AT LEAST I UNDERSTAND THAT BECAUSE HE'S VERY ATTRACTIVE AND NICE AND IT'S PREFERABLE TO-

"Okay, giving yourself a headache here."

>JUST FUCKING DEAL WITH IT, BRAIN!

"Fine, whatever. By the way, Spike's about to coldclock you one."

>GOO- wait, what-

~~~~~

'You okay, 42?'

>Fine.

'You sure? You froze and then took a bullet to the face.'

>I'm fine.

'...You want your tooth back?'

"Tell him yes, we can glue that shit back on no problem."

>Shut up, brain.

'...uh...okay? Gonna have Twi double check for concussions one more time.'

>You do that.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Twilight"
'???'
~~~~

With the slamming of the door, the lab was opened once again.

>Alright, nerdzerd, what crazy invention have you got for me this time?

"A-actually..."

Chrysalis didn't know what was on that clip board she was fidgeting with, but she probably wasn't going to like it.

>Ah, shit. You're doing the nervous voice. What's up?

"...Look, I realize what I'm about to say is going to sound crazy-"

>So then don't say it.

"... I have to. Chrysalis, I... I need to know what I let out."

Silence hung heavy for a few minutes, only broken by the awkward tapping of hooves on the clip board.

>...She can grow at least as tall as a fully mature dragon at her best, possibly larger if pushed, though she never has been. Armor is impenetrable from anything I've seen anyone fire at her. Only means of stopping her found is several hundred tons of rock and cold, in addition to being worn out, or suffocation in addition to being worn out. Weaknesses are her stamina limits, which I have only seen her pushed to twice, and her flight and mind magic are laughable. She is capable of both, but any pegasus could outfly her and any changeling could outclass her in mind control. That about cover it?

Judging by the desperate look in her eyes, no. That did not.

"I knew all that. I mean... 'what' did I let out?"

She did not mean to snarl, but she did it all the same.

>I don't even know anymore.

"Do... do you want me to go get Shiny?"

Her snarl ebbed, and she found herself honestly considering it.

>...According to the tales I've heard, she has always been angry, always been one to snap to a fight with little provocation. But she was always there when a Queen called. If one should find themselves in danger beyond what they could handle, Chitania was there to preserve our secret. She fought armies, Twilight, and she did it without reward. And... when I was little, she... she used to let me sit with her. I used to hear stories about the other Queens from her. Her and mom always... they talked like they were the best friends in the world.

"...What happened?"

She didn't answer. Just shook her head, and turned towards the door.

>I don't know. I get being angry at you ponies, but I don't... I don't get why she was angry at Mother. I don't get why she snapped like that. I get that she was mad, I get that she wasn't thinking back then, but she kept going, Twilight. She woke up and didn't give a damn about you ponies, she didn't give a damn about anything but fighting mom. Didn't even look for the other Queens, she had no idea they were dead. I don't know what happened. I don't know why she hated my Mother so much... why she hates me now.

"Chrysalis, it... sometimes, they just change."

>Twilight... if there was ever anyone who understood changing, it's me. And yet...

She started to walk away, already opening the door.

>This one is still a mystery to me.

"Chrysalis..."

The soft, almost scared voice made her pause just outside the door.

"If we catch her, we might have to-"

She didn't even wait for her to finish, just stepped out and slammed the door.

Alone, Twilight put down her clipboard, the paper on it still blank, and let out a tired breath.

"... I think I might need to go see someone..."

Outside, in the hall, the Queen's mind couldn't help but travel back to another time... a different time.

'Well, look who it is. Back for another story, gub?'

Back to a time when her mother... didn't look so sad.

A better time.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>42
"32"
'Reggie'
-Q-

>Ok, you crazy bastard, what have you been yelling abou-holy shit!

32 is holed up in a pillow fort on his bed with Reggie beside him on the 'battlements', Q in his disguised form, is lying on the floor, surrounded by more roaches which are trying to climb up onto the bed.

"Sister! Help! I am under siege!"

>I...what?!

"That traitor Thorax is leading an insurrection against the senate! He crossed the Rubix Cube and is leading his legions to kill us all!

'*chitter*'

"He was exiled for good reason! He bit me!"

-...-

"Well how else were we going to conquer the pillbugs in the cell next to us! Defiling dear Blueblood's once great land with their barbarism! I will not stand for it! Aha!"

32 blows hard on a roach attempting to scale his 'walls'.

"Take that, traitor!"

'...'

"Oh I'll treat the prisoners of war fairly alright! Give them a fair view of the underside of my hoof!"

>...

"Oh you WOULD say something like that, you high and mighty shrew! This is NOT poetic at all considering why I'm in here! The nerve!"

>I didn't say anything, you fucking lunatic!

"...oh...oh...so you didn't..."

32 slowly shimmies out of his fort and sits on his bed, eyes hollow.

"I...I belong in here, don't I?"

>Yes, for what is seriously becoming a variety of reasons.

"...if I were to ask to be executed, would that be allowed?"

>What?

"If I decided to accept my fate and give up this charade of safety, would both the Queen and the Ponies acquiesce to my wishes?"

>I don't know, why would I?

"...could you ask?"

>What? No, I'm not going to-wait, maybe I...is this some kind of fucked up reverse psychology?

"No, I'm...my only friends are a rock and a roach that I pretend talk to me. The others have either moved on, come to loathe me with as much reciprocation, or have died horribly. I am well and truly alone."

>...

"..."

'...*chitter*.'

>I won't do it.

"Why?"

>Because as much as I'd like to watch your head roll, it's not you making this request. You were play-acting some kind of scenario where YOU'RE the royal under assault not two minutes ago. Frankly, you're not in your right mind, and while I'd love to flat out destroy you for what you've done and tried to do, I'm not going to take advantage of that. So just...go back to whatever the hell you're doing and ask again when you're back to being your usual flavor of fruitcake.

42 shakes her head and begins to walk away, trying to understand whether this was truly insanity or the most elaborate ruse he had come up with yet...

"42..."

>What?

"...your helmet is very pretty."

...yep, totally fucking bonkers.
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