Thread 34: Stories 76-88

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Cadence
"???"
~~~~~

>Dun nuh nuuuuh! Dun nuh nuuuuuh!

"ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME!? FUCK OFF!"

>Shhhh! Everyone is avoiding you, you're the perfect cover!

"They're avoiding me because YOU ARE PISSING ME OFF!"

>Great! Symbiosis achieved!

"That's not symbiotic! Symbiosis is... uh..."

>It's when two species work together for mutual benefit.

"RIGHT!... Though I think the definition used to be different."

>Not unless you're talking about, what, a couple hundred years ago?

"Right..."

>And fiiine, I'll pay you whenever we reach the hotel. 18's not here, she can't complain about my spending!

"The desire to hurt you grows so much with every passing moment."

>You know, I'm actually worried we agreed so much before, you seem to have anger issues. I mean, you were nice back when we met at the hotel.

"Clearly, something I should not have done, as I gave the wrong impression. That was more "There are others who are stupider", not "Your stupid words are somehow not stupid."

>You need to lighten up, you're in Partyland! Funnest place on earth!

"Just... just go back to trying poorly to hide until we reach the hotel. I swear I am about to blow my cover."

>You do look pretty mad, but I thought the expression was "Blow my top"?

"Yeah, I want to blow off the top of something alright."

>...

"...Don't you fucking dare start-"

>Dun nuh nuuuuuh!

"...they will never find your body..."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"18"
~~~~~

>This place baffles me.

"You don't say? And just what about the concept of ponies dressing up like others 'baffles' you?"

An annoyed eye rolled back to the cocky mare behind the Queen, her mood no less sour.

>18, you are disobeying my orders.

"No, I provided an alibi for you like you commanded, but I also needed to show myself in the same place to establish my own side of the story that I was here with you."

>Yes, but how will you explain Cadence being off where ever she is and also somehow here?

"What? Why would I... huh..."

>Did you just notice you were disguised as Cadence or something?

"...A-actually, uh... Nah, probably just instinctive, nothing to worry about... though this does mean a whole lot of ponies think Cadence has been handing out free cotton candy to children for the last half hour..."

>Hm?

"Hey, I needed some way for a bunch of different ponies to see me in a crowd to keep my story valid. They see me in the middle handing out candy, an easily verifiable thing, then I duck away and have you make some crass comment, and if anyone asks I just back you up and say you wouldn't leave me alone."

>...Impressive.

"Speaking of impressive, dear little Poindexter told me of a certain company he's been seeing recently."

>Little nerd should be happy he's not currently nursing the charred remains of his crotch.

"Yes, well, don't you think you're being a little harsh?"

>...

"What? We play OnO all the time, he surely can't be that-"

>...

"Shutting up about it."

>And that's why I occasionally call you 'the smart one'.

"Really?"

>No.

"At least you never lose your sense of humor..."

>...Would it be cheating if we entered into this-

"Yes. Just... so yes. Obviously. So very hard yes."

>Mmmm... and why don't I care?

"You're a bitch?"

>Queen bitch, little infiltrator... and don't you forget it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Celestia"
~~~~~

>COTTON CANDY!?

"Now, calm down, you don't know-"

>SHE IS OVER THERE, HANDING OUT FREAKING COTTON CANDY!?

"Well, yes, that is what everyone is saying, and this does in fact make it look like she ditched you, your daughter and all of-"

>I AM GOING TO GIVE HER SUCH AN ANGRY SNUGGLING! I WILL SNUGGLE HER IN RAAAAGE!

"-Now, see, that just sounds sexy-"

>I WILL PUT ALL OF MY RAGE INTO THIS SNUGGLING!

"...yeah?"

>I WILL SNUGGLE HER SO HARD SHE WILL HAVE A FROWNY FACE FOR A WEEK!

"Go on..."

>I AM GOING TO SNUGGLE HER RIGHT INTO THE GROUND! IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! EVERYONE IS GOING TO GET TO WATCH WHILE I JUST POUNCE ON HER AND JUST! NOT! STOP!

"..."

>I AM GOING TO-... is it getting warmer?

"Concession stand, please continue."

>...No, you're right, I'm being dumb. She has her reasons, I'm sure. She didn't mean it.

"damn."

>What was that?

"I said blam. As in you hit the nail on the head. I clearly did not want you to keep going."

>...

"...I'm sticking to that, you will never get anything else out of me."

>...

"...Just keep running."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
NC
>Spike
"Chrysalis"
'???'
~~~
Chrysalis lies in a puddle of blood, breathing heavily across from a Spike who looks little better

"Gotta admit, lizardo... That was pretty clever using poisons and viral bullets to bypass my love protection..."

Chrysalis slowly gets up and stalks over to him

"But you forget that I am not your shit tier princesses who throw themselves on my mercy with appeasement after appeasement. I am a motherfucking queen-"

>Shut up, you dribbling cunt.

Spike raises charity but it's telekinetically snatched from him and a hoof is pressed on his chest

"Yeah, not falling for that again."

Spike just smiles

>And I knew you wouldn't, ever heard of the salvador monitor?

And spits into her eye, the viruliant strains of bacteria begin to burn Chrysalis immediately

"AAAAAAAAARGH! YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'LL KILL YOU!"

Chrysalis is good on her word and crushes Spike's chest, but he still smiles

She killed him, but she was gone too

'AND CUT!'

Chrysalis stops flailing and helps pick up Spike who takes out a towel and wipes her face

'Beautiful, people, that's a wrap for today.'

"Thank god... I'm exhausted."

>I know what you mean. Wanna go hit the starbucks?

"I can't, I'm trying to cut back. My ass is too big for wide screen these days."

Spike gets on his toes and kisses Chrysalis

>Come on, Chryssi, your ass is always perfect.

"You little pervert."

>You weren't complaining last night.

"My mouth was a little preoccupied if you recall."

>So, my place or yours tonight?

"Mine. Indulgent as it is, piles of gold and gems are crappy for back support."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

And more non-canon stuff.
>Two(With a british accent)
"56"
~~~
"You know, I've been feeling a bit uncomfortable with my role lately. I mean fondling the asses of so many actresses? This can't be legal, can it?"

>Pish posh, you worry too much. It's the studio who'll be out on their arses of things go down, just lose yourself in your character. You do great work!

"Yeah, but fondling female butts? Ugh... I might be young but I know I'm not into women at all."

>And that's part of playing your character. I mean every day I have to play such a naive little girl.

"You are a little girl, and kind of naive."

>I thought candy was a great payment method!

"God bless your agent then..."

>Anyway though, I have my own fears about my role.

"What? Everyone loves you!"

>No, they love the character, and I just worry this role is going to hang to me for the rest of my life. I can't be a cute little girl forever, they already have to use camera tricks to make sure I'm shorter than Tiara or Silver Spoon.

"I think you're worrying too much."

>Well this role certainly doesn't give me credentials for the Royal Shakespearean Theatre Trope.

"But the experience you're getting from this will really help you pull off roles later on!"

>I doubt that, can you imagine Two pulling an Ophelia?

"Now that's a non-canon episode I wanna see!"

>Hah! Me too.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

non-canon
>Rekulk
"77"
'88'
~~~
"Welcome back, 88."

'Thanks, 77. Now.... How about you give me back my knife?'

"Bu- But you gave it to me."

'Yes, and now I'm alive, I want it back.'

"No. It's mine, I've killed robot armies with this."

'And I pried it off a dead morlock.'

>Ah! I see you have bone knife made of Deep Wyrm baculum. Strongest material you can find in caves.

'... Baculum?'

"Like... Penis bones?"

>Yes! And the Deep Wyrm's Baculum is very strong, from what I see, stronger than most surface metals. And often big enough you can make entire spears from them! You have great treasure of morlocks. Use it well!

"... I've decided to return the knife to you."

'No no no, I insist, you keep it. You've proven your worth with it.'

"Oh, but you fought so hard just to get to begin with!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>32
"High Roller/Matthew Mareconaghuey

>I cannot believe I have to actually be here asleep for your scenes. Can't they just use a dummy?

"Hey man, you're classically trained, right? It's totally method acting."

>True, yes...christ I miss working with Pommel, when's he coming back?

"I hear filming for his thing got pushed back because the fog machine's on the fritz."

>Fucking cocksucking...oh well, at least they're letting me do the crazy art-house shit.

"Wish I could do crazy art-house shit."

>Maybe if they let you stick around, I hear you're gonna get to actually use the shapeshifty thing.

"Man, this show is fucking weird."

>I know right.

"I'm never going back to RomComs."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>DT
"Spike"
'Cheerilee'
[SS]
{77}
~~~~
>Spike...why are you in drags?

"I listened to Pinkie."

>Ahhh...that explains everything...looks good on you.

"Thanks."

>Anyway, I thought the fire in the sky was you....you still haven't found the princesses have you?

"Uh...well no."

>Did you even eat yet?

Spike's stomach grumbles
"Uh...not really."

>Why the hell are you such an idiot? You know, while I mainly invited you here for the anniversary, I kinda wanted you to stop thinking so much and relax for once. You've barely done any of that.

"I want to have fun, but I was hoping to spend some time with AJ and Rarity too"

>Yeah, you tried that yesterday. Did you have fun?

"Um...not quite."

>What being with 2 girls who are closer to your age doesn't do it for you?

"N-no! I didn't mean it like that! I meant-"

>What are you even doing right now?

"I was hoping to see you, the rest of the Gun Club, plus AJ and Rarity here."

>Well, I'm here. Silver and 77 are on their way. The food court is over there. We can probably get pizza. Ms. Cheerilee's probably wrapping up her cosplay competition thing, and is probably hungry too...you should come with us.

"But I what if Rarity, and Applejack come and I'm not here..."

>They'd want you to eat something. Besides, we can see the amphitheater from there, so we'll be able to see them if they come. Maybe life doesn't want you to find them Spike. Let them find you.

"..."

'Well, I'm done here.'

>Hungry?

'Totally.'

[Hey Ms. Cheerilee, how was the competition.]

'Spike here held his own for a bit.'

{...why are you in drags?}

"I took advice from...you know what let's just go to the food court."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NON-CANON!
>AJ
"Rarity"
~~~

>HOLY APPLEBUCKING IN THE NIGHT! It feels like we've been running for days!

"Right? You'd think we'd have caught them by now, since Jugglejack apparently just dropped to the side."

>What happened with this gal-danged plot thread!?

"Perhaps it'll get resolved next time."

>It better! Mah' legs are killin' me!

"...Why are you the one complaining about this, and not me?"

>Cause it's non-canon.

"Ah."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NON-CANON
>SA
"Celestia"
~~~

>So, I've got a question. Any reason you can't teach me that flame trick so I can send notes to Spike?

"What? Of course not, you should be able to..."

>... Just hit you we could have asked him to help look for her, didn't it?

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NON-CANON
>Chrysalis
"Chitania"
~~~

>HAH! I'm not the viiiiiilain! I'M NOT THE VILLLAIN! IN YOUR FACE!

"Fine, so I lost fifteen bits."

>HAH!

"Doesn't mean you aren't going to lose."

>HA-...what!? Lose how!?

"Getting Mane-Iac to stay your way. Come on, this is a character development moment, and you lose everything."

>I DO NOT!

"Name one win. Name ONE time you ever came out with what you were after."

>The heart- wait, shit almost died and can't use it anymore... What about that bi- Wait, shit, didn't work for me and nobody knows I did it... Uh... OH! I beat 32- No, wait, 42 had to hit him and I didn't get to kill him.... uh...

"Didn't get your file, didn't get any revenge on Spike, haven't gotten any more power politically, failed against me... oh, and of course your wins with Shining Armor might as well be made of fairies."

>... I have to have won at least ONE time, right?

"...'

>...Shiny kissed me.

"We will mark it on your grave, "Queen Chrysalis, notable wins - that one guy kissed her once."

>....EAT A DICK!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-canon preview

>Pinkie
~~~~~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CoWplXbeUw

Whew, good for Shiny disarming the situation for Chrysalis, Pointdexter, and Maneiac. Spike has joined up with the gun club gang. Will 42 join them too? The Cutie Mark Crusaders throw their own party only for it to go out of control. AJ's group finally finds Arana, but guess who else shows up? Things go loco when I get into a sparing match with my sister, Maud. Will the day ever end? Find out next time in thread 35:One Way or Another...and of course, fantastic fan service!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NON-CANON!
>14YOShiny
"SA"
~~~

>LAAAME!

"Oh goody, you're back."

>Why, man!? WHY!? Why are we so lame!? We used to be about the music and the freedom, man! WHAT HAPPENED!?

"Got a job, married, kid, stuff like that?"

>WE NEED TO BE FREE! We can't be held down like this! The alien babes want our things, man! They want to like, do stuff with us! Stuff with butts, probably!

"I will never move past that shame that you are me."

>Cadence never does butt stuff!

"Because, of course, the most important thing in any relationship is "Butt stuff"."

>Yeah!

"..."

>...Don't be sarcastic you nerd!

"You're the one who spent six hours on a OnO figure to give it a thong."

>NEEERRRD!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________