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BallsOfFluff

Testing

Mar 28th, 2012
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  1. >go to buy 10 new fluffy ponies from the pet store
  2. >clerk gives you weird looks, asks you why you need so many
  3. >"I. . . am conducting a study on how they react in various situations
  4. >actually, that's not a total lie
  5. >you can tell the clerk doesn't give a shit anyway
  6. >he takes your money and hands you 2 squealing and shaking boxes
  7. >these have the fluffies in them, dumbass
  8. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  9. >when you get home, you rip open the first with a box cutter
  10. >you hear a loud "Owchies!"
  11. >evidently, you cut one of them while opening the box
  12. >looking inside the box, you see that an orange Pegasus fluffy is bleeding all over the others from its side
  13. >the other fluffies in the box are just saying something about "Why new fwiend making boo-boo juice?"
  14. >actually, this could work
  15. >you dump the contents of the boxes on the floor, taking care not to cut anyone else in the second box
  16. >they move around a bit, mumbling and bumping in to each other
  17. >the bloody one starts running around crying
  18. >he falls over
  19. >the others gather around him, now they're mumbling & crying too
  20. >its time to do this
  21. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  22. >you take the box cutter and slash the bleeding fluffy's wing
  23. >he screams
  24. >the others scream
  25. >actually, nobody gets any ice cream, but the bloody pony starts running around the room
  26. >he's getting blood all over your rug
  27. >finally, he slams into a wall
  28. >he seems to be bleeding out, when suddenly, before you can get to him, the other fluffies do
  29. >oddly enough, they start licking him!
  30. >forget his wound, you get your thick notebook and start writing down the situation
  31. >the lickers are saying "make fwiend happy!"
  32. >they're not really helping him, if anything he's bleeding more
  33. >they really are stupid
  34. >finally, the pegasus goes unconscious
  35. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  36. >"why fwiend take nappy!?"
  37. >you take the dying fluff ball, slip a noose around his neck, and hang him up on a hook on your wall
  38. >he wakes up, and starts gasping for air
  39. >when you hung him up, the others finally noticed you
  40. >"halp! big munster put new fwiend on the wall!"
  41. >the now red fluffy on your wall gives one last rasping breath and then goes limp
  42. >the others start sobbing
  43. >they're really bawling
  44. >luckily you prepared for this
  45. >you run and grab a bag of fluffy food
  46. >surprisingly, they still seem to care more about their dead "fwiend" than the food
  47. >Everyone always told you they had bad short term memories
  48. >when you toss the fluffy food at them, they finally look away from the corpse
  49. >finally a blue regular one tries one of the marshmallow-like food things
  50. >"Is yummy!"
  51. >the others try some
  52. >"Good nummies! Good Nummies!"
  53. >they cluster around your legs, saying "New Fwiend! New Fwiend!"
  54. >come to think of it, they do have shitty short term memories after all
  55. >you pack them up in their boxes for the night, trying to get some of the blood off of them
  56. >you spend half of your night cleaning blood and food off your rug
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