stand up open mic and father abuse

This is a bad idea. I don’t mean that I’m nervous or anything; I just think that my act is too funny. It might be a little bit off putting, you know? Do you ever worry that you’ll just kill it too hard? I don’t want to do that; but what are you gonna do, you know? Umm. Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding I didn’t write that one. What else is in the news?

I used to have a lisp when I was younger, which is fine; a lot of people struggle with speech impediments. As a matter of fact, I remember quite often not being able to understand what my dad was saying…over the sound of him beating me with a belt for not being able to say my esses right. “thstop it dad!” I’m just messing around though, my father never hit me. What do you think I look like? My brother?