anime aint shit

Instead of writing my literature review, I've decided to write my thoughts on Genshiken episode 9 for now. I don't know what spurred me to do this, I guess it just made me feel a lot of things? I went in thinking, oh, anime about otaku, this'll be mildly relatable, a little unfunny, the characters are probably gonna be creepy as fuck. We all watch SOL, we all have those "ah, that happened to me once!" moments.
I was pretty wrong.
I didn't consider that this was an anime that followed a lifestyle and a culture, shockingly thoroughly. Most SOL is simply about nothing (I don't mean this in a derogatory way). Daily life, well, is hit and miss when it comes to covering all the bases. Some things just don't happen to you. Some incidents are simply too oversaturated and overdone. How many times have we seen someone not want to get out of their bathrobe because they left the air conditioning on? How many times have we seen someone swear they'll get their full order out without stuttering or messing up (this isn't possible. no one can do this. not even Britney). Anyway, I was pretty sure I'd drop it three episodes in, on account of the characters being creeps.
I mean, they like hentai, sure, a little too much perhaps... but I also have my own share of embarrassing fetishes, irl or no. They're into some suspect shit, but they're done in a way that still makes them seem human. When Sasahara first went into the clubroom for the first time, I understood what he felt. He passed for a normie, but these guys looked, full stop, like a bunch of weathered down geeks. I've had my own experiences with this, being a somewhat "closeted" geek myself. A few in high school... I went to a pretty small high school (well, school, they had all levels, a total of 12 years. I attended preschool and kindergarten elsewhere before transferring). I'm sure there are more since I was EXTREMELY reluctant to talk to people outside of my class about my interests (but when I was in elementary school I kind of annoyed my friends about it, but what do you expect?! I was 10). I've met a bunch of cool cats in college, but a fair portion of the others are fujoshits. Some are pretty casual, usually being comic book fans who have seen stuff like Attack on Titan and Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. Really, out of anyone I've met, I don't think I've found anyone on the precise wavelength as me. I've only added one on MAL. I haven't spoken to her in months, but I see she's taken a few of my recommendations and that made me happy.
I never checked her scores, by the way.
But yeah, a lot of these people were pretty disheveled, like, greasy hair and the like... so I really understood Sasahara. And I identified with how vanilla he was. I was a lot less shameless when I was younger, I guess it was hormones! But I've calmed down a lot. If anything, seeing most hardcore NSFW stuff has me red. I can't take it! I guess I've outgrown being horny. Is that even possible?! (Look, it's natural, I haven't forgotten the feeling, I still get...)
I couldn't really identify with the other guys, and I sure as hell couldn't relate to Kohsaka. He just seemed like a really cute alien... I liked him, but the more the series went on, the more he just felt like a satellite gag character. Which is fine, I guess. Until the episode about how he got a little too into his hobbies hit... that was... well, it hit too close to home. I found myself nervously thinking to myself, "hey, that's me in a relationship". Sure, I wasn't smashing any hot girls or anything, but I've had a relationship like that. Not being able to connect through hobbies, love is somewhat difficult to nurture. Kohsaka is definitely a "my pace" sort of character, so aside from that (a big bit!) I still can't relate. But it did make him feel a lot more real. I'm still on episode 9, maybe he'll be dumbed down a little further.
Saki.... let's say, Saki is kind of me, towards all the overly out there "otaku" (weeaboos) people I've met. She certainly is one of my favorites. Whenever she dipped her toes into unlikable territory, the story was quick to show that she isn't all too bad. They show her regret. I think it works because it's obvious that deep down, she really does want to understand and join in. She indulges in very little, but it's enough to keep us guessing. Genshiken, to me, isn't just a story about otaku, it's also a story about Saki trying to find a happy medium. Without her, I feel like Genshiken would really flop. A problem with a lot of newer shows trying to show geek culture is that they focus too much on the geeks, and the token normie is only there to tsukkomi (funny thing is, this is a recurring gag in Genshiken. But that's it, that's why it works, because it's a gag that soon kind of disappears a few episodes in). Sure, Saki calls models toys. Sure, she's creeped out by the barely legal looking girls plastered all over the walls of the clubroom. But you know what? She's sympathetic. That's why she works. When Ohno is embarrassed at her seeing her ojicon posters, Saki is quick to point out that a lot of girls are into older men. When the club is nearly shut down and the members won't do anything about it, she goes as far as to blackmail the vice president (we'll get to her one day, but know that I love her with all my heart). Quite frankly Saki is the reason Genshiken WORKS. She's a total normie, but she doesn't want to join in, even a little, on occassion... she'll try some to please her boyfriend, or if she felt guilty, but our girl sticks to her guns.
Now, episode 9 in particular... she actually doesn't do much, even though the episode only features her and Madarame. Madarame was always a character that shone pretty brightly. I appreciated him, he was always an important character, but not much focus was ever put on him until now. Not in a serious light, anyway. The episode chronicles him coming down to the clubroom, only to find that no one was there... except Saki, the normie. The one person he couldn't really communicate unless the mood was light. As you expect, there's a lot of tension, despite the fact that Saki was just sitting on her ass practically unacknowledging the fact that he was around. Even though she was reading a manga, making any connection with her was impossible. Even though it seemed simple, nothing seemed to work. You imagine the person with you magically taking interest in your own interests (presented as asanine fantasy). You start to picture everything in your head, maybe for hours, but no one has said a word. Even when Madarame takes his chance and does it all right, he still can't connect.
The episode makes the clever analogy of Saki being a VN heroine. At first, it seems like a gag (maybe it is and I just read too far into it) but Madarame usually only had two to three seemingly "obvious" and "correct" choices to go with. But people aren't characters bound to routes. Your choices, most of the time, do not impact them. This hit me too hard. I couldn't take it. Despite the looming tension, I was still trying to hope that it was just me. Soon enough, the episode took a depressing turn, with a flashback from Madarame. I guess I felt for the poor guy, but that wasn't what made me sad, despite how him being a loudmouth and being hated for it was also extremely and sadly relatable. The episode had now stripped its funny happy gag mask off: Saki had hit Madarame, a little too hard. Even though she apologized profusely, it was now her who couldn't connect. She had no context as to why Madarame had been stressed in the first place. The punch only added onto his anxieties: Do I look like a creep to her? AM I a creep? Was what I did creepy? Maybe it's impossible for me, after all.
Now, at this point, it was starting to claw into my neck. I guess I'm pretty cute, maybe above average. Surely I'm better, right? I haven't had any experiences like that! But it took me a minute. I realized I was trying to distance myself from the fact that I understood perfectly well what he was feeling. Now, most episodes went by pleasantly quick, at a perfect pace. I didn't notice until afterwards, but the episode felt long. Way too long. I realized it was because I was uncomfortable. I tried to pay more attention to the event I was grinding, but to no avail. If anything, it just made me pay more attention. Out of all the stuff I could relate to, this was the one thing that really made my heart hurt. It was presented in a very sympathetic light. He wasn't shown as pathetic, not even when he was fantasizing about a chibi Saki prancing around and acting pretty... un-Sakilike. I couldn't really laugh it off, if it was presented like that. It just made me really sad. Madarame isn't a good lucking guy, but it wasn't really stopping me from seeing myself in him (not as much as I would have hoped). The ED went the extra mile, showing that no one was in the clubroom. The lights were turned off, and the TV was on.
Madarame forgot his backpack. He never came back for it, probably symbolizing that he THOUGHT had wounded his relationship with Saki permanently, even though it was a non-issue.
I fucking hate anime actually