zerah ramble

It doesn't matter where my journey's taken me so far. I just can't separate myself from people. Good or bad, everything I've done goes right back to them.

I guess I started out like a lot of us did, watching people and trying to be like them. Sounds really simple, but I was surprised to see how many of us gave up on that right off the bat. Not me. I tried, over and over to make them happy. Just being friends wasn't enough, so I thought that maybe I could give them something back. Music could make them happy, and it made me happy too. But it was a distraction. Once they saw past it, saw the real me, I was right back to being hated and chased away.

Even then, I didn't turn away from humans. I just switched my focus, starting to go to the places that the "bad people" go. It wasn't because I wanted to be bad, but those people had an easier time dealing with what I was. But while I was down there, I could still learn something. People aren't always good, I already knew that. They do really awful things to each other and themselves. But if I could learn what it meant to do bad things, by choice and not just because the smoke in my chest drove me to do it, I could learn how to be good.
In a way, it was kind of fun. I still don't like to hurt anyone, but I don't really regret it.

Even with that, it was still about people, just those that the normal, daytime people had left behind.  I love them. Every one of them. Doesn't matter if they dress nice and have a lot of money, or don't have anywhere to sleep and drink too much. They're people all the same. And I won't give up on them.

I wonder what kind of person I'll become?