How “Love Live!” Changed My Life

I remember seeing her a long time ago, far before knowing anything about who she was. I didn’t think much of her at the time beyond “Sure, she has sort of unusual hair, but who doesn’t in anime? She’s just another good-looking 2D girl for people to fawn over.”

I had no idea just how wrong I was.

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A phone was bought for me early last year in the hopes that I’d be progressing in life to the point where I’d break away from my family and start holding myself up. I was (and still am) in my early twenties, after all. I was grateful for the gift even though I had no-one to actually call with it. It spent a fair amount of time unused as a result as I went about my usual ‘routine’.

Every day like clockwork, I woke up and logged into a server with several of my closest friends… and a couple of others who were picked up along the way, I think… for my daily dose of social interaction. The usual things were discussed, often revolving around whatever games we happened to be playing. When you have online relationships, that tends to be the default point of conversation. Good for me, since it’s something I could actually talk about… that people would want to hear, anyway.

For several years, I was in a dark place. I wasn’t alone, but I was lonely. I’m sure it slipped out numerous times in conversations, but never without regret following closely behind. They didn’t need to know any of this.

One day, one of them posted a picture of what appeared to be a results screen from a rhythm game. There was a score, a song cover, a combo count… yep, looked like a rhythm game. There was also a massive picture of an anime girl taking up half of the screen, but I thought nothing of it. Every game needs a representative, right? Maybe she was it for this.

A few more screenshots later, I decided to ask what it was.
“Love Live! School Idol Festival,” he said.

I was vaguely aware of Love Live’s existence, but I didn’t know much about it other than it was an anime centred around music. It made sense for such a thing to have a rhythm game tied to it. It was an easy decision to download it onto my phone. It’s not like it was being used for anything else, was it?

Loading the game up for the first time felt… unusual, somehow. I couldn’t pin my finger on why. Maybe I was braced for the game to not be as fun as my friend had made it seem?

The character selection screen beckoned. Nine girls organised in a grid, and it wanted me to choose one. Not being familiar with the source material, I knew little to nothing about most of them. I recognised one from people making jokes about her all the time, but I recognised another for being the attractive girl people liked to swoon over. I’d know that purple hair anywhere.
Since she was who I was most familiar with, I chose her.

The following half hour was filled with waiting. It had to get all the assets to put in the game after all, but I didn’t expect there to be so many. My wait was filled with impatience and preparing how to break it to my friend if it turned out I didn’t like the game.

As it happened, I started the game midway through an event. Something called a Score Match. Not the most imaginative of names, but it got the point across. Participating in a player versus player event within the first hour of playing was a daunting prospect, but it was enjoyable.

...Wait, enjoyable?

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Many plays later, clearing away my LP at long last, it clicked. I was enjoying something.

In the position I was in, you never expect to enjoy anything. Most experiences have a neutral effect at best, and you rarely see the point in deliberately seeking new ones.

This, however, was different. It was fun.

I started striking conversations with the friend who introduced me to the game and before I knew it we were helping each other out, relishing in - or, more commonly, being semi-jokingly jealous at - one another’s scouts, and commiserating any unlucky performances.

Slowly but surely, some other people in the server got curious and decided to join me in playing and to this day part of me has still yet to comprehend this. I wasn’t used to having interests that people outside would want to join in with. Talking to them about the game was, and still is, a pleasant experience. A pleasant experience I wanted to chase and grow.

This search for other players brought me to remembering my seldom-used Reddit account. It was worth using it to search for a community for the game. One must exist, surely.

I was right. I started browsing immediately.
...It didn’t take long for me to realise that forum posting still isn’t my kind of activity.
As it happened, though, there was an alternative: a chat server. Real-time communication in this way always felt more natural to me, so the thought of joining was exciting. Talking about my new fascination as events occurred was sure to keep my spirits up.

“Hey, check out this UR I scouted!”
“Yay! Finally nailed this song!”
“A Score Up bonus would be nice, game…”
Good times.

Today, I spend most of my time in there. I never expected to make friends there, but I did. Quite a few, as it happens.

This silly little anime game has given me lights in my dark place. Something to look forward to. Something to enjoy. I remember people talking about the little things mattering, but I never believed them…
...before now.

Thanks, μ’s. Thanks, Aqours. Thanks, everyone.