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Dec 18th, 2013
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  1. Delinquent Princess
  2. By Mr. H
  5. Author Notes: This story pretty much disappeared with the disappearance of the old FTT forum (there is no furry content in this story though) Not sure if I’m going to go back and finish it but its 40K plus words, so you’re looking at over half a novel. It hasn’t been online in a long while – maybe 5 years.
  7. Disclaimer: PG-13 - Mature themes, I doubt it will go beyond that. It might get rather dark at times. If I decide to up the rating, you will be warned at the chapter in which it is applicable, but it's doubtful right now. Original story, anyone can repost it as long as they don’t make money off it.
  10. Chapter One- Life Thus Far
  12. I couldn’t believe they were actually doing it. I’d begged them not too. Pleaded, kicked, bartered, anything that would have saved me from this torture. All for nothing. Boarding school it was. ‘Spoiled’ daddy said, that’s what I was. St. Dorothy’s school for girls would fix that right up. It’s a bunch of shit was what it was, but I’m smart enough not to tell them that. They probably didn’t even think I knew words like that. I can’t believe they still have boarding schools these days. How cruel to take a kid away from their life and their parents (not that I see them a ton), but it was my punishment, though daddy kept assuring me it wasn’t a punishment.
  14. I guess in a way I can admit it was my own fault. Our families’ pretty well off, and I’ve avoided responsibility as long as I could. It doesn’t mean I’m lazy, but why do for yourself what mom and dad can pay people for. Up until now I’ve had a private tutor instead of attending school. He comes by for about three hours on weekdays after his normal teaching job and gives me my lessons. I do well in the subjects I like and ignore the others; hence my good scores in reading, vocabulary and history and my abysmal math and science. Girls aren’t supposed to be good at math anyway. Mr. Carlton was nice enough, but he was just there for the money and he wouldn’t rat me out for not doing half my lessons cause’ we both knew I could get him fired.
  16. I also had a nanny. Its’ pretty pathetic having one at ten but she was nice and mom was busy keeping dad’s contacts alive while he works ten to twelve hour days so I needed someone to take care of me. Mom and Dad are a good team when it comes to business. Anyway, Rosa (my nanny) has been taking care of me since I was born. We get along great but she’s not a disciplinarian. That’s made things a lot more fun for me.
  18. I guess that’s where everything went wrong. Me and Daddy got along great whenever he came home for his business trips, the brief moments we spent to together. He didn’t complain about anything until last year. I guess he felt too guilty about how little time he got with me and mom to say anything.
  20. “Hey Honey,” Dad called as he walked in the door. I ran up and gave him a big hug. He picked me up and felt his internal sigh as he heard me crinkling, “How old are you now honey?”
  22. “I’m ten daddy. You should know that.” I said smiling, not liking where this conversation was going, he’d brought it up on his last visit, but only briefly before dropping it.
  24. “Still in diapers,” He said shaking his head disapprovingly, “Carol this is ridiculous, I mean Alice is almost eleven right?”
  26. My mom shrugged slightly, “Look Steve, I agree, but what am I going to do. She absolutely refuses to cooperate and you know I work as hard as you do. Last week I spent three days with Harold’s wife convincing her to get him to go in with you on the Tokyo project.”
  28. “I know, I’m not blaming you,” He looked at me, “This needs to be fixed young lady; wetting yourself at your age. You’re not a baby anymore.”
  30. “But daddy...” I whined as he put me down. “Its really hard, and I’m always so busy, and Rosa doesn’t mind changing me, so it doesn’t really matter right?”
  32. “No it does matter,” He said, almost laughing of what he thought was an obvious point, “Look honey, potty training is something people just do, most when they’re a fifth of your age. What will people think if they see my big ten year old girl can’t get to the toilet to do her business. You know this is the reason I can’t take you on business trips.”
  34. “So, it just means you get people to take care of me. Besides why should they care?” I asked honestly. Daddy just shook his head and adjusted his glasses.
  36. The rest of the evening went pretty uneventfully. We ate dinner, caught up on the last couple of months. Daddy wanted to see my school reports and went over some of my homework. Unfortunately he looked through it rather thoroughly and got the hint of what me and Mr. Carlton had agreed upon. After that he went and spoke with Rosa awhile. I quickly got the idea I would not like where this was going. When he called me into his study there was an air of foreboding and I felt like running away. Daddy had never even scolded me except for the potty thing the last couple of times he’d been to visit. It seemed like I was going to catch it finally after my ten spotless years.
  38. “Well, honey. It seems as if you are quite the master manipulator.” Hey said with an air of amusement. “With me and your mother running the family business you’ve taken over the household. It would be cute if it wasn’t rather disturbing.”
  40. I gulped and hoped it wasn’t audible, “What do you mean daddy?”
  42. “You have no chores, you only do the homework you feel like. You spend your time reading- which I approve of, and playing computer games- which in the excess Rosa speaks of I do not approve of. Rosa admitted to me everything she does for you.”
  44. “No...” I said under my breath but apparently he heard it.
  46. “Yes, and I am frankly amazed neither me or your mother noticed it.” He said, “You’re ten years old and she dresses, baths and diapers you. That’s absolutely pathetic. You know, you even managed to hide that from your mother. You’re completely incompetent in things that should be natural for someone your age. I don’t see things changing if I leave things as they are... but you’ve got until I come back from my next trip. Otherwise I’ll find an environment conductive to the growth of my daughter’s character. You probably won’t like what I decide, even though it’ll be for your own good.”
  48. “No daddy, I’ll change, just tell me what to do.” I pleaded. Even at that point I had an inkling of what he was planning.
  50. “In a week I’m going to Peru for two months. You’ve got that time to get your act together and behave like a normal ten year old. I not going to expect your math and sciences up to par, but they had better be vastly improved. I won’t be angry if you don’t, self-discipline is obviously something your upbringing has lacked, by fault of my own. I will fix it as I see fit however.”
  52. The rest of the week was pleasant daddy didn’t bring it up again and it was back to the way it normally was when he was home. We played together and I talked about stuff that was bothering me, my friends, and what games I was playing. I didn’t really mention my friends before, honestly I’d rather not think about them right now. It’s hard enough being away. My cousin Sarah and my best friend Lucy came around all the time. We’d been friends since we were little so they didn’t care about my lifestyle. Honestly, they envied me. As much as I didn’t admit it in front of dad I was quite happy with the way I ran the household, and proud that I was pretty much in charge. A calculated tantrum her and there with a smidgen of veiled threats and a lot of rational arguing gets you basically whatever you want when your parents have money.
  54. After daddy took off in his trip everything pretty much returned to normal. Rosa reminded me what my dad made me promise a couple of times, but I told her to stow it for awhile. After all I had two months, no big deal. Mr. Carlton practically begged me to do my work. He knew if I didn’t it’d cost him his job. I really tried but it was ridiculously hard. Still, because he needed the extra money and I felt bad I did the work sometimes. Apparently he gave up in the three weeks and resigned himself because he stopped bugging me about it. I felt kinda guilty but it was so much easier not thinking about it.
  56. “Time to get up,” Rosa said shaking me gently. I groaned as I
  57. turned onto my back and I felt Rosa pulling down my pj bottoms. I was rather wet, and it would be nice to get cleaned up.
  59. “Do you want to try panties yet?” Rosa said holding my legs in the air wiping me down.
  61. “Nah, I’ll do it tomorrow.” I said thinking about what I which game I was going to play. Lucy might want to come over, but she
  62. wouldn’t get off school until three.
  64. “You know,” Rosa answered as she began to dust me with powder, “Your father is coming back from his trip tomorrow.”
  66. “Tomorrow?!” I gasped, “Why didn’t you tell me.”
  68. “I reminded you three days ago, you said to put a hold on it again.” Rosa said sliding the fresh diaper on me.
  70. “Wait! Wait, I need panties.” I said in desperation. "It's okay," I told myself, "I can wing this in one day, right?" Most two year olds can get this down pretty quick, should be no trouble for me. I felt truly strange as the cotton panties were pulled up my thighs. Rosa was obviously trying not to laugh, “What’s so funny?”
  72. “I knew you’d put yourself in this predicament honey. I feel for you, but you’re screwed.” She said sadly for me. She was the housekeeper too, unlike Mr. Carlton her job wasn’t riding on me.
  74. “Thanks for your sympathy Rosa,” I said sadly, shaking my head, “I’m doomed aren’t I… Maybe daddy will just forget about it huh?”
  76. “I doubt that, he was a lot more bothered by it than he let you see.”
  78. “Please help me Rosa, I gotta get at least dressing myself today. Maybe get the potty training down too.”
  80. Dressing yourself sounds easy. People do it everyday right? After twenty minutes of taking clothes on and off I pretty much had it down. It wasn’t really that hard, but I kept putting the darn shirts on backwards. If it hadn’t been for the shoelace thing it’d probably been simple. I finally gave up and just decided to wear slip-ons when daddy came. Maybe he wouldn’t notice. Rosa was pretty proud of me.
  82. I put a dress on and spun around in it. “Pretty good huh.”
  84. “Yes.” Rosa agreed. “Now if only you’d figured this out years
  85. ago.”
  87. “Well, I just liked you doing it better.” I replied shrugging.
  89. It was at this rather pleasing moment that I noticed a warm sensation and sighed a little as my bladder released. It felt oddly wet….
  91. “Alice… the potty… you’re panties…” Rosa tried to explain obviously flustered.
  93. I got the idea as I looked down and saw the puddle forming between my feet.
  95. “Shit.” I muttered as I realized what I was peeing.
  97. “You pooped?” Rosa asked mistaking the purpose of my expression and I shook my head, “Good, that’d be a bigger mess. Well, no one gets it the first time.” Rosa said taking my hand and leading me to the bathroom and seating me on the toilet. She took my soiled panties and dress down to the washroom while I waiting.
  99. “Rosa this sucks.” I said as she cleaned me with a washcloth.
  101. “I suppose it’s not easy,” Rosa agreed, “You want to try it naked? I hear that helps.”
  103. Anything that would help I was for. So I ended up playing video games naked as the day I was born. I was lying on the floor in front of the T.V when Mom came through on the way to a meeting.
  105. “Where are your clothes honey?” She asked in mild amusement.
  107. “I’m potty training,” I said dejectedly, turned onto my back to look at her, “Rosa says being naked helps.”
  109. “Well, I’ve heard that too, but I think it’s a little late for you young lady.”
  111. “I can get this down. I’ve got a whole day.”
  113. “Well, good luck.” She said, cringing a little for me in empathy of what we both knew was probably awaited tomorrow. I could still hope for the rest of the day though. About an hour later Rosa came in with a couple rags and some spot cleaner.
  115. “You drop something?” I asked, wondering what she needed the carpet cleaning for.
  117. “Umm, Katie, roll on your side.” As I moved I suddenly realized the wetness. I’d done it again. I vaguely remembered having to pee this time, and just doing it. Old habits are hard to break, or so they say. I silently cursed myself in my head for putting it off this long. Rosa cleaned the spot I’d left on the carpet, making me blush a little at forcing her to clean up after something like that. It did happen on rare instances when my diaper would leak, but I didn’t really consider that my fault.
  119. “This is really frustrating.” I said pathetically, begging Rosa to tell me the secret to using the potty.
  121. “It doesn’t come instantly Alice.” She said sadly, “Do you just want to give up? I can get you a diaper. Not point in having your last day be so unenjoyable right?” I knew she was just trying to comfort me, but no- I was going to do this. Usually she pushed me to use the potty, that fact that she felt sorry enough for me to suggest the diaper though really had me worried at what my daddy was planning. The last day thing had me really worried. I knew I was going to be punished, but was daddy really going to send my away?
  123. Remembering the homework I hadn’t bothered with I looked over the most current stuff about x equaling something when minus 3 equals 5. It was too much to bother with so I threw down some guesses and closed the book. The science I understood a little better so I actually spent about two hours figuring out that stuff. As I was finishing I felt my butt twinge a little and booked it for the toilet.
  125. “Hey Rosa!” I called through the house, “I made it for number two!”
  127. I heard thumping on the stairs and Rosa came into the bathroom, “Hey that’s great kid, I’m proud of you.”
  129. I felt pretty embarrassed about being praised for it, being ten and all. Still it was an accomplishment I’d worked hard for, I deserved it. Everyone gets praised their first time around. The rest of the day was pretty standard. Lucy couldn’t help but giggle when she came over and saw my predicament.
  131. “Mom made Tracey train like that.” Lucy said, referring to her little sister, “Is it working?”
  133. “I only made it once so far.” I said sadly, but then I made a fist, “I will make it to the potty next time though!”
  135. “Well, good luck,” Lucy replied trying hard not to laugh. She didn’t understand what it was like being in my shoes, slip-ons and all, so I let it go.
  137. We ended up playing Halo 2 for about an hour. It’s a decent shoot-at-everything game. I’ll play anything that I can convince mom to buy and it was one of the few I wasn’t getting bored with.
  139. “Hey,” Lucy said quietly and I shifted my attention to her, “You should go potty.”
  141. “Why?” I asked inquisitively
  143. “Cause you’ve been shaking your leg like mad for the last half hour and you’ll make a mess of the carpet if you don’t” She replied giggling.
  144. I nodded and attempted to stand, suddenly clamping my hand onto to privates and my thighs onto my hand as a little squirted out.
  146. “I don’t think I can make it.” I said, realizing I’d once again waited to long. I began hoping a little from foot to foot. Why had it been so much easier to hold sitting down?
  148. “Come on, let’s run!” Lucy said playfully shoving me. I cringed as I felt a little more slip out, but turned to a full run, ducking into the bathroom and flopping onto the toilet as a torrent of pee hit the bowl.
  150. “You made it!” Lucy said happy for me, “Sort of…” She amended seeing the trail of puddles on the way. Still most of it was in the toilet, a vast improvement.
  152. The rest of the day went without much improvement. I only made it to the potty once without losing any on the way. Lucy felt sorry for me and I agreed that the change in my life was unfair and unexpected. Two months was an unreasonable amount of time for daddy to expect me to train in. It was impossible.
  154. The next night when daddy came home was a disaster. In some sort of odd hope I would survive I had Rosa put me in panties and desperately tried to concentrate on not having an accident. Unfortunately when Daddy was complaining about my schoolwork I got a little nervous and made a mess of his office carpet. It was the coup de grace and I knew I was screwed.
  156. “That’s it honey. I need someone who can discipline you. You’re a good girl but you have no sense of responsibility. I love you, so please understand that I’m sending you to a boarding school for your own good.”
  158. “But DADDY!” I practically shrieked, “They all make fun of me cause’ I wear diapers…”
  160. “Yeah, I suspect they will. There’s some incentive to train, right?”
  162. “Who’s gonna bath me?, and I don’t like dressing myself. Mom won’t be able to read to me at night. I won’t get to see you at all.” I said desperately
  164. “I miss you too honey, but I’ll find ways to visit you. It’ll only be for a year, okay. If you really don’t like it after a year, no matter what, I’ll let you come home. You have to promise to give it a chance though.”
  166. “NO NO NO!” I screamed stamping my foot on the floor. Everything else had failed, I’d never done this in front of daddy before but I was entirely out of options. It hadn’t failed before, but then I’d never tried it on daddy.
  168. “What did you say?” Daddy replied surprised and offended
  170. “I WON’T go to boarding school.” I yelled, “I’m going stay here and do what I want!”
  172. “Listen here young lady, I’m your father…”
  174. “NO you –listen- daddy. I don’t want to wear panties.
  175. Everyone is fine with the way things are except you! FUCK OFF!”
  177. He was across the room in an instant. Oddly enough he didn’t seem that angry. In mere seconds I found my wet panties removed and myself bent over his lap.
  179. “That was utterly unacceptable.” He said as he administered five slaps to my bare bottom. To be honest it didn’t really hurt that much at all. He was going super easy on me, as I would later learn from the girls at St. Dorothy’s.
  181. Still I had no experience with pain, no experience with discipline and disapproval. His dominance instantly shattered my ego and a screamed and cried at the same time. I shrieked over and over after he had stopped. He simply held me to his chest and sat there telling me it was okay, but that I had gone too far.
  183. “I don’t want to grow up.” I said as I started to regain some modicum of control.
  185. “Most of us don’t honey,” Daddy said coming over and giving me a hug. “I’d have been a horrible parent to let this go this long; I’ve been bad enough letting it get this far. I’m sorry I let you get away with so much, cause now it will be even harder for you to adjust. It’ll only get worse if I just keep letting it go though. I found a good school that deals with problem kids.”
  187. “I’m a problem?” I said between sniffles.
  189. “Not like that, its’ for well off families, spoiled kids basically. They had a few kids like you before so they understand. Mainly they’re more of the angry variety so you’re likely to encounter some bullies, but that’ll make you stronger, get you some character. Plus, the teachers are there to straighten them out, so they’ll be on your side. I made sure I liked the faculty before I considered sending you there. They’re nice, just very no nonsense.”
  191. “I don’t want too, please I’ll do anything.”
  193. “You had two months to do what I wanted honey, it’s not your fault, and this is the fix.” Daddy said sternly. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
  194. Chapter 2: First Day Away
  196. Saint Dorothy’s rotated between intimidating and downright scary. Its buildings were old and large, that was intimidating. The other girls wore makeup and talked in slang and seemed angry about the world in general. They’d shortened the skirts of the uniform even though most of them were close to my age. I knew bad girls existed, I’d seen them on T.V. but I certainly had never expected to see them in person. I wasn’t going to be the youngest here probably, but close to it. The school was only fifth grade and up and that was what I was in. I guess it takes kids until then to prove they need a school like St. Dorothy’s.
  198. “Well, hello newbie.” A high school aged girl with way to much mascara said as I came in to my dorm room with my bag. Daddy was filling out forms at the front and had told me to go check out my room on my own. “What brings you to the wet room?”
  200. “Umm, wet room?” I asked apprehensively
  202. She sighed, “What do I have to do to take care of you?”
  204. “Take care of me?”
  206. “Look do you wet the bed? What?” She said annoyed and exasperated
  208. I started to cry softly, I don’t know why, I was probably just really nervous.
  210. “Wait, wait kid,” She said apologetically “I’m not trying to scare you. You must be new here. You were assigned to one of the rooms with upperclassman, me. That means you must need special care, which is why they give me spending money to take care of you three.” She motioned to the other bunks. “I just need to know what you need from me.”
  212. I hiccupped a little as I calmed down. “I…” I started and took in some more air, “I wear diapers.” I finished, I pulled up my skirt to show her.
  214. “Great, the full works huh, well, I got off light last year, just bed-wetters.” She mumbled to herself. “Wait,” she continued to herself, “Does that mean I always have to stick around?” She began to ponder the predicament of watching someone in diapers, “No way, maybe I can get Carrie to relieve…no she graduated. Damn.”
  216. “Umm which bunk?” I asked looking around.
  218. “The one I’m sitting on is mine, you’re the next one here so pick whichever you like. So if you don’t mind my asking, what happened?”
  220. “What happened?”
  222. “How’d you get stuck in the diapers, was it an accident, or a birth defect. I mean, bummer, I feel for you.” She said, just trying to make conversation I guess.
  224. “Ummm, neither.” I said embarrassed, “I just always managed to avoid getting potty trained.” I added as a question, “Will keep it a secret though, please?”
  226. “Fair enough, but in trade you have to keep a secret for me.” She replied and I nodded. She pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her coat pocket. “I figure you’ll always need to know where I am and will catch me eventually anyway. You tell the fuzz and I’ll rat out the diapers-choice thing to your other roomies.”
  228. “The fuzz?”
  230. “The teachers, it’s a joke.”
  232. “Oh, umm. My name’s Alice by the way.”
  234. “Charlotte, everyone just calls me Char though.” She said shaking my hand. “It’ll be an interesting semester, I want to see how you do here.”
  236. “Hey honey, oh is this your room leader huh,” Daddy said walking into the room "Please take good care of my daughter. She’s been rather sheltered.”
  238. “I can tell, but she’s certainly nice enough. I think we’ll get along well.” Char responded
  240. “Well, I think that’s it.” Daddy said setting down my last suitcase. “I think I should be going.”
  242. I bit my lip as Char said something about waterworks. I figured she was referring to my crying but I couldn’t help it. Daddy held me for about five minutes then said he had to go. I laid down on my bunk and kept crying until I felt Char’s hand on my back.
  244. “Seriously kid, you’re gonna kill yourself wailing like that. It’s just a few months and you’ll see him again.”
  246. “I know but…”I sniffled, “I don’t know anyone here, and I’ve never even been to school before… and I’m wet.” I looked at her apprehensively at this last admission.
  248. Char didn’t sigh like before, I think she felt too sorry for me. She pushed my skirt up and laid me on the bed. She obviously wasn’t used to this, but she had a general idea of what to do. She untapped the diaper and looked around at my bags. I point to the one with the yellow ducks on it and she sighed as she pulled it out.
  250. “Aren’t you embarrassed to have such an obvious diaper bag?” Char asked
  252. “It’s the same one I’ve used since I was like four. The old one wore out.”
  254. “You seem like a good kid to me.” She said pulling some wipes and a fresh diaper out of the bag. “This is what we call a ‘delinquent princess’ school. Most are from good families. Some of us are just her cause our parents freaked out at something small, control freaks families. Others really deserve it. Not that it can’t be fun here, it just is what it is. I probably deserved being sent here, but I can’t really say what I did- to little girls.” She said smiling, I gulped, “Hey, don’t worry, they reformed me. The rent’s said I could come home, but I decided I like it here. Only another year after this one anyway. Well, partially reformed.” She said patting where she had replaced the cigarettes in her coat. “So what did you do to get sent here?”
  256. “You’re looking at it.” I said
  258. “You mean cause’ you’re still in diapers?” She asked
  260. “I wasn’t taking my schoolwork seriously either.” I added
  262. “That’s it, dang. Still I can see how thrusting you in the public might help.” She finished wiping me and readied the new diaper.
  264. “Well, I also cursed out my dad, but that was my last chance to keep him from sending me here.”
  266. “Wow, I’m surprised you had it in you, carrying on and crying like this. Why didn’t you just potty train?”
  268. “I tried!” I said frustrated, “I spent a whole day trying only a month ago. I only made it to the potty once. I almost ruined the den carpet. It wasn’t worth it.”
  270. “Does your dad expect you to return home trained?” She asked
  272. “I think so.”
  274. “My suggestion- don’t. You give in and improve they’ll keep you here. He probably promised you that it’d only be for a little while, right? They all say it. The ones that improve stay her cause the parents are afraid they’ll revert if they take em’ back. The ones that get to go home don’t improve.”
  276. “Really?”
  278. “Yeah, look I’m only telling you cause you don’t have a real problem. If it was drinking, or fighting or sex I’d tell you to get your shit in shape just because you need too. I mean, don’t get me wrong its pretty embarrassing for a kid your age to piss herself, but it’s not a problem like some of these kids have. I’m worried you’ll turn out worse for being around them. Hell, I’m sure I’ll be a bad influence as nice as I seem.”
  280. “Bad influence?”
  282. “Yeah, I’m the best behaved of the bad guys.” She replied, “I don’t break curfew, I don’t smoke in front of the teachers and I ditched the drugs three years back. I only kick ass when forced too. That’s a good kid around these parts. Well, it’s not so bad among the youngers. Kids your age are here mainly for fighting. Once they’re twelve-thirteen though it's all about the sex and drugs usually.”
  284. She taped up the new diaper and patted my tummy as I sat up “Better now?”
  286. “Thanks Char.” I said a little embarrassed at having her change me within the first hour of meeting her. Even more to think about was the pasts of some of these kids. I mean I’d watched after school specials and R-rated movies, but sex and drugs and these girls were only two-three years older than me.
  288. “Hey Char!” A girl said walking in a mini skirt and a practically see through shirt. She was my age. My mind boggled at the concept. It was absolutely slutty, and I probably shouldn’t have even known what that word meant. (I wouldn’t have if not for late night T.V) Her hair was dyed red and blue, alternating colors with spikes.
  290. “Vicky, you know you’re supposed to change before you come on school grounds. You’re just trying to scare the new kids aren’t you.” Char said shaking her head
  292. “Well what do we have here?” Vicky asked scanning me over
  294. “She’s under my protection.” Char said harshly,
  296. “Why?! That’s not fair! She’s a newbie she has too…”
  298. “My protection.” Char said with finality. “I like her.” Char shrugged
  300. It suddenly got hard to breath as I realized the exchange that had taken place. Thank god Char had taken a liking to me. I might very well have been doomed from the start with a roomie like Vicky otherwise.
  302. “Hey Vicious you get here? Oh everyone’s here.” My fourth a final roommate said walking through the door. She at least looked a bit more normal with cute Asian features and long black hair.
  304. “Vicious?” I asked hesitantly at the name
  306. “Yeah Vicky the Vicious,” Char answered, “She got that name last year for ripping out a girls lip ring for something trivial. It’s part of why she got held back.”
  308. “Shut up Char, she doesn’t need to know.” Vicky said, but it held more of an asking tone than a demand. Obviously these two kids had respect for their room leader, and Vicky liked her reputation.
  310. “Hey Yuri, Char’s called the new kid.” Vicky said shaking her head. I really wanted to break out my teddy bear right now, these kids were like Char only worse, but Char was on my side at least. It would’ve been insane if they’d all been against me.
  312. “Not cool Char. Everyone gets it when they come in.”
  314. “She’s not like us, she couldn’t take it. We’d all get in real big trouble with her.” Char said sternly
  316. “Really?” Vicky said giving me a hard probing stare, I huddled further back in my bunk “Wow, you’re right Char, bummer for her.” She said mirthfully.
  318. After that we went to orientation with was a mass of the younger students. Char having taken off to the high school ceremony. Yuri hung around just to warn people off, as they appraised the ‘new meat’ as it were. It was like Shawshank Redemption in some ways. That was another movie I probably hadn’t been supposed to watch, I'd had nightmares for a couple nights afterwards. Yuri and I got to talking a bit. She was from a decent New York family, but she’d gotten involved with her older brother’s gang about a year back.
  320. Char caught up with us right after orientation. She said she had plans to go out tonight since classes didn’t start until the day after tomorrow. We were still supposed to go in and meet our teachers but no full lessons.
  322. “I can’t get someone to watch her though,” Char said motioning to me.
  324. “We’ll be there,” Yuri said nonchalantly.
  326. “Yeah, like I can trust you to change her diapers?” Char asked and Yuri bug-eyed.
  328. “Diapers?,” She said turning to me and smirking, I just nodded hesitantly, “That’s freaking great. You’re wearing one now?”
  330. “Hey, chill Yuri, you know the reason you’re all in my room is the bedwetting.”
  332. “Yeah, but she needs em’ during the day.” Yuri smiled broader, this didn’t bode well.
  334. “You be nice or I’ll tell her how you got your nickname,” Char continued “I can’t get anyone to watch you since everyone wants to go out, so you’re coming with me.”
  336. “Her name’s not Yuri?” I asked surprised. She had Asian features so I hadn’t been surprised by the name.
  338. “No, it’s Stephanie,” Char looked like she wanted to continue but stopped.
  340. “No way, you’re taking her?, let me come too.” Yuri piped up
  342. “Absolutely not, her I can control. The rest of you are another story after I get off school grounds. You’ll be good right, Alice? You don’t want me to leave you alone with them do you?”
  344. I shook my head furiously and she chuckled. Anything I could do to stay on good terms with her was fine by me. We went inside the dorm and went by the front office.
  346. “Alice, we’re going to a movie. Check your account. I’ll front you if I have too, but you’re lucky I’m even taking you out.”
  348. I walked up to the counter. “Umm, how much do I have in my account.”
  350. “Name?”
  352. “Alice Woodren.” I replied, the woman looked through her records.
  354. “That’s a bit excessive,” The woman noted as the numbers came up on the screen “Three thousand.”
  356. That was it? Daddy left me only a thousand a month? Well, I guess it made sense, it’s not like he figured I’d have someone to take me off campus.
  358. “I’ll withdraw 50.” I replied and she handed me the bills.
  360. “Did your dad leave you any?” Char asked as I came back,
  362. “Yeah, three thousand, I guess it’ll do.”
  364. “Holy shit how rich is your family? Never mind, how spoiled are you?” Char said rephrasing her question, realizing the first one applied to a decent chunk of us.
  366. “I dunno, I got whatever I wanted when I asked for it- until now.”
  368. “Man, I only get five hundred a semester, and I’m seventeen.” Char said bummed, “I have to work in the dorms for the rest of it. Oh well, the upside is you can cover yourself. You should be grateful we’re taking you off campus, so you don’t get to pick the flick.”
  369. That was okay. At least it seemed like I was going to get some friends. We walked up to the dorm room to get ready to go. Char said I should change into normal clothes so I took off my uniform and started to fiddle with a pair of overalls. I was never very good at those things. I was glad the other two girls weren’t in the room to see my trouble at figuring out clothes.
  371. “You need a hand there kid?” Char said walking over as she straightened her shirt, and put her hair into a ponytail.
  373. “Yeah thanks.” I said raising my arms out and Char began to dress me.
  375. “Am I going to have to bathe you too?” She said jokingly, I just paused and looked at my feet. “Jesus, what are you, two?”
  377. “I’m sorry, I just.” I couldn’t think of anything to say and just stood there ashamed.
  379. “Naw, wait, I didn’t mean that. Look- we don’t even have baths here. I’ll show you how to shower once the other girls go to bed. You can work of dressing a little bit each day. The diapers are your call, but it’s too weird to be dressing and bathing you. Wait, you don’t need to be fed do you?”
  381. “No I can handle that.” I said, embarrassed that she had to ask.
  383. Char grabbed my diaper bag out of the dorm room and we walked down to the parking lot were a couple of her friends were waiting in a car that was warming up.
  385. “Hey guys this is Alice. She’s kinda my charge this semester so she has to tag along. She won’t tell on us, right Alice?”
  387. “I promise.” Her friends looked at me in disbelief, Char nodded,
  389. “And why won’t you tell on us Alice?”
  391. “Cause’ you know my secret, and without you those other girls will probably do something bad to me?”
  393. “Good girl.” Char replied “Alice, these guys are Stacey and Lynn.”
  395. The two other girls nodded approvingly and let me into the car. It was a different world from both the dorms and what I was used too. It was a little after dusk and curfew in our dorms wasn’t until 8pm, 9pm if you were with your room leader. I expected they’d stay out as late as possible. They all lit up cigarettes and proceeded to fill the car with smoke. It reminded me of daddy a bit since he smoked, and I didn’t find it particularly icky like most people do. The rock music was blaring and I was finding it hard to think straight. The movie theatre was only about ten minutes from the school and we pulled into the parking lot.
  397. We ended up watching a movie called ‘Borat’. When we went to purchase the tickets the salesman saw me and gave Stacey a disapproving look. Stacey looked back to Char but she just nodded so she bought the tickets anyway. Apparently she did the purchasing because she was the only one over eighteen.
  399. “The guy said this was pretty inappropriate.” Stacey said as we walked to the theatre.
  401. “Better late than never,” Char replied
  403. “Late for what?” Chelsea (one of Char’s friends) asked
  405. “Her corruption. She’s already ten, and way too innocent. I’d seen porn by her age.” Char said, oddly enough the other girls seconded her opinion.
  407. “Umm Char,” I said as we got in the lobby.
  409. “What is it Alice?” She said, cutting her conversation with Stacey.
  411. “I need to be…you know.” I fidgeted slightly and Char got the idea. Unfortunately so did everyone else.
  413. “She’s still in diapers? Lynn asked in disbelief, the girls having their suspicions confirmed after seeing Char carry around what appeared to be a diaper bag.
  415. “Yes, and that’s why I have to bring her. You guys to be nice. It’s not her fault.” The others nodded with false understanding and Char and I went to the restroom. As she plopped me up onto the counter I couldn’t help thanking her for lying for me.
  417. “No prob, no reason to make it harder on you. Besides, technically it’s not a lie, I blame your parent’s not you for your not being potty trained.
  419. Char unclipped my overalls revealing a rather sodden diaper. I’d been a little wet back at the dorms but hadn’t bothered to tell her because we were in a bit of a rush.
  421. It’s rather uncomfortable being changed on a sink countertop by someone who doesn’t really know what they’re doing yet. Even worse is the consideration that anyone could walk in and see me in this state. I’d have to ask Char to use the stall next time.
  423. She leaned me towards her as she wiped me clean, rolling up the wet disposable and chucking it in the trash. It felt good to get a clean diaper on, even if it was a little mis-taped. I even had to remind Char to use the powder.
  425. The movie was incredibly inappropriate, and absolutely hilarious. I couldn’t believe Char was letting me watch this, but like she said, she was really one of the bad guys. I looked over to Char when the naked wrestling began, basically to ask what on earth I was watching when I saw Stacey and Lynn.
  427. Mouths locked to each other Char was already watching them make out. I gulped audibly and Char looked over and saw me watching, giving me a little grin and a shush sign. I tried to focus on the movie again but now they were running naked through a hotel lobby. I felt like my mind was about to explode.
  429. After everything was over we got back to the dorms about eight fifty. The other kids were already in their beds for the night, for quiet time before the nine fifteen lights out. Junior high got to stay up until 11:00pm and Senior high just had a curfew of 11pm, no bedtime.
  431. Char walked into the dorm room setting down my bag and looking at my other roomies.
  433. “Right, me and Alice are going to go take a shower, you two need to be in pull-ups by the time I get back. I will check.” Char said sternly and the two grumbled.
  435. I followed Char down the hall to the bathroom on our floor. There were a number of shower stalls without any kind of privacy. Char undressed me, folding my clothes and sticking them into a cubby on the wall. She undressed herself as well, putting her clothes in the cubby next to mine.
  437. I felt rather embarrassed to be standing in just a diaper next to a mature woman. It made me feel pretty pathetic. I tried to get my eyes off her privates but I couldn’t help wondering if I’d get hair like that in a couple of years.
  439. “Alright, lets get that diaper off and you cleaned up.” Char said ripping off my diaper and leading me to stall. She started up the water and proceeded to wash my hair for me.
  441. “You can wash your hands right?” She asked and I nodded “Then lather up your hands and spread it all over your body.”
  443. She watched me as I got it down. It was pretty obvious how to clean yourself when you thought about it, my motor skills were fine, I’d just never had to do it before. As I cleaned myself I felt like I’d lost something.
  445. “All done,” I said starting to rinse of the lather.
  447. “Umm wait, you gotta, ahem clean down there.”
  449. “What? I don’t wanna touch there.” I said as she referred to the place everyone else wiped up when it made a mess.
  451. “It’s just good hygiene, didn’t anyone else teach you or wash you there?”
  453. “Rosa just went over it with a washcloth.” I replied embarrassed
  455. “Geeze, okay watch me. God, I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Char then proceeded to give me a demonstration in female hygiene. It was rather embarrassing for the both of us. In retrospect I should’ve asked my mom about it, but at the time I was trying to avoid the whole subject all together.
  457. “Oh,” I said emulating her and Char was satisfied. She quickly showered herself off and got some towels that were left in a fresh pile, with a basket for the used ones. She dried herself off first and then did me.
  459. “Hey Char?” I asked as she dried me off.”
  461. “What is it?” She asked, throwing the towel in the bin and grabbing my diaper bag from on top of the cubbies.
  463. “Why were your friends kissing in the theatre?” I asked
  465. Char sighed, obviously she was hoping it was a subject I’d forget about, “Some girls settle after living without boys for a few years.”
  467. “Boys are icky,” I said shrugging, “Who cares if they’re around.”
  469. “Well, most of the girls at this school are probably a bit more experienced than you. I had a boyfriend before my parent’s shipped me off here. He was an ass though. Anyway, if its only girls long enough sometimes they fall in love with each other.”
  471. “They’re in love?” I asked
  473. “No, they’re not.” Char said shaking her head as she diapered me.
  475. “But then… that doesn’t make any sense?” I said frustrated
  477. “Arrgh, I’m not having this conversation with you as well. Figure some stuff out for yourself okay!” Char said not really angry, but obviously not willing to go further. I shut up instantly not willing to take even the slightest risk of upsetting her.
  479. She finished the diaper and put me into my pjs. We chatted a little as we walked back to the dorm room but my mind was still on why Char couldn’t tell me why those two girls were kissing. I somehow felt like it would be unwise to ask anyone about it. I grabbed my stuffed bear from my suitcase and climbed into the bottom right bunk.
  481. Char picked up the nightshirts on Yuri and Vicky to make sure they were wearing their night time diapers. At least they were partially in the same boat as me. I tried really hard to go to sleep, but my body wouldn’t cooperate. It was the first time I’d ever been away from Rosa and mom. I started to whimper a little, and I heard Char voice
  483. “Hey, Alice, it’ll be okay. Don’t cry, you’ll be teased about it forever. It’s only a year right?” Char didn’t say anything that helped but knowing she was behind me gave me the strength to let it all fade away and go to sleep.
  484. Chapter 3: Discovered
  486. “Rise and shine campers!” I groggily arose from my sleep to Char’s voice. She was awfully cheery for this early in the morning. I looked at the clock, barely seven A.M. “Who’s wet?”
  488. “Me,” I said a little embarrassed,
  490. “Figured you were- you two?” Char said
  492. “I am,” Yuri grumbled hoping down from the bunk over me.
  494. “Nope fine here.” Vicky answered happily ripping of the pull-up thing and chucking it in the garbage. “See you after you get –changed- Yuri.”
  496. “Shut up Vicious,” Yuri said standing in front of Char.
  498. Char ripped the sides of her diaper off and rolled it up handing her a couple of wipes which Yuri used to clean herself up.
  500. “Why don’t you just go to the bathroom to change?” I asked
  502. “Yeah, see how popular I am once someone sees me walking down the hall in a diaper. No way, you can go for it, but I’ll take my chances with Char running them down to the dumpster every couple of days.”
  504. My tummy grumbled a bit and I realized what time it was. Char was occupied with something for the moment anyway so I pressed my hands to the wall and began to push with a minor grunt. I was pretty relaxed and everything was going fine until Yuri decided to make a big deal out of it.
  506. “Char she’s pooping in it!” Yuri said loudly, but not quiet enough that it would leave the room.
  508. “It’s alright, I hadn’t asked specifically, but I kinda figured as much.” Char said shrugging adding to me, “Let me know when you’re done.”
  510. I nodded slowly and saw Yuri come over and stick her face between mine and the wall. It was a little disconcerting being so close to someone while trying to do something rather personal.
  512. “Hey Char her face is bright red.”
  514. “Leave her alone Yuri, how would you like someone bugging you when you try to take a crap.”
  516. “Okay…” Yuri said reluctantly, “It’s just so cute.”
  518. “Uh-oh, better run for it Alice,” Char giggled
  520. “Shut up Char!” Yuri replied, “Geeze, every time.”
  522. “You set yourself up and you know it.”
  524. I finally finished and sighed as I pushed the last of it into the back of my diaper. My one experience using the toilet had been odd. It was so hard going number two without resistance to push against. Usually I liked to sit around in it for a little, but it was way to embarrassing to tell Char that so I went over right away to get changed.
  526. Char made a pee-yew face but got to the work of getting me cleaned up all the same. “I am sooo asking for a bonus for this.” Char added as the wiped my messy butt. I couldn’t really feel bad about making her do it, after all this was normal for me.
  528. It took her a good six wipes to get me cleaned up and she rolled the whole mess into a ball in the diaper. She got me a fresh diaper and started to help me into my uniform.
  530. “She can’t dress herself?” Yuri asked, and we realized she was still watching us
  532. “Geeze, don’t you need to get your morning shower, you smell like pee.” Char responded.
  534. Yuri frantically sniffed the air for a second before getting a mean look, “I do not, that’s mean Char. Fine, I’m leaving.” Yuri huffily stamped out of the room
  536. “Why was she sticking around anyway.” I asked annoyed as Char pulled my shirt on.
  538. “Yuri can be nice, but for the most part I suggest you steer clear of her. Her background’s a little messed up.” Char advised sagely, “Oh, for classes I did some checking for you. You’re with Vicious’s group so try and get along with her. She probably won’t be unreasonably mean to you since you’re one of the four people on campus who knows she wets the bed. Still if she gives you a ton of trouble let me know. If you need to be changed while I’m in classes go to the nurse, she can fix you up. Let’s see, what else…If you want to join a club, feel free. I prefer having free time myself. Oh, and don’t do anything that’ll get you noticed at first. If you want an easy time here, just fade into the woodwork. With my protection it might be possible if you play your cards right, at least in the dorms. Usually this place is hell for first years.
  540. “What should I do today?” I asked
  542. “Well, I’m just gonna go around see some of the people I missed over summer break. You could always go explore the campus. Do you have one of the little maps they had at the info desk?”
  544. I nodded and handed it to her. She proceeded to mark one place with a star and another with a circle. “Alright, feel free to explore. I’ll be in the circle area if you need me, the nurse is at the star, she’ll change you if you need it, I’m not carrying around your diaper bag all day so if you want me to change you you’ll have to bring it with you.”
  546. I nodded and Char departed. I felt strangely alone with her gone. I’d been on my own for a day now, but with Char I felt like I’d just been transferred from one nanny to another. Now I was free, and I didn’t want to be free. I liked being safe and taken care of. I wanted to ask Char if I could go along, but I didn’t want to push our friendship. She probably needed time with just kids her age.
  548. “Yo! Brat.” Viciou…Vicky said coming in the room. I just didn’t feel right referring to her by that nickname.
  550. “Hey, Vicky.”
  552. “I heard we’re in the same class.” I looked over her black eye liner and the little skull earrings. It was an odd contrast to the Catholic school uniform. She chomped on some gum as she considered something, “You want me to show you around I don’t got anything else to do.”
  554. “Umm, okay,” Char had said to try and get along with her.
  556. Vicky led the way through a couple of halls pointing out the different rooms various purposes. There was a central building where all the classes took place, 5th and 6th grade on the first floor, 7th – 9th on the second and third floors and 10th-12th on the fourth and fifth. The school was kinda big, with about four thousand students, all of them living on campus.
  557. The 5th and 6th grade dorm was the smallest, located closest to the central building. She pointed out the health office in the central building and I was more grateful than Vicky realized. I stopped in briefly to get my diaper changed and Vicky chuckled a little when she realized why I made the stop. The nurse, Ms. Sanders, was actually pretty nice and didn’t make a big deal out of my diapers which I was rather grateful for. She hinted that I was going to have to work on getting out of them soon though. My daddy must’ve told the school they should try and train me. Perhaps Char could help me find a way out of that.
  559. I looked at Vicky’s spiked and dyed hair and absently ran my hand through my own. I was an almost platinum blonde, but mine was really short and straight- boring. It’d just been easier to take care of that way. Now it felt incredibly plain seeing how some of these girls did themselves up.
  561. “Thinking about doing something with your hair?” Vicky said appraising me, “I suggest you leave it for awhile, besides this stuff suits me. You’re too nice for this sort of thing.”
  563. “Why’re you being so nice to me, you’re supposed to be vicious right?” I asked
  565. “I dunno, I think cause Char’s right about you. Most the kids at this school think they’re tough shit, so its fun knocking em’ down a peg. Nothing like beating the crap out of some preppy kid that was top dog at their old school. You have none of that though, and you seem nice. Your old man must’ve wanted to mind fuck you something awful to send you here.”
  567. “He just said he wanted me to grow up.” I said sadly
  569. “Well,” Vicky said thinking on that, “This place will do that for you. That’s probably why they gave you Char. She’s really a good person, I heard she used to fight a lot when she was younger, but I’ve never seen it. She took care of me and Yuri last year too, so we really look up to her. She never told anyone about, you know…”
  571. I nodded so she didn’t have to speak about it. All of us were embarrassed enough as it was with our issues regarding toileting.
  573. “So,” I asked as we passed the junior high dorms, “Why do they call Stephanie Yuri?”
  575. “Bwfff.” Vicky said trying not to laugh, “No one told you yet?”
  577. “No,” I said annoyed that I was missing some joke still
  579. “It was great, me and some friends were going to go out one night, sneaking off campus. Our ride flaked though so we decided to head back to my room because one of the junior high kids had some cigarettes. They don’t check for them in the elementary dorms so we usually hide them for the older kids. Char was off with her friends and I guess Yuri figured she’d have the room to herself that night.”
  581. “What happened?” I interrupted.
  583. “Look, I’m getting there.” Vicky said, “So I bust into the room with three other girls and there’s Yuri lying on her bunk making out with another girl on top of her.”
  585. “Ewww” I added, just like last night. Why were kids here so darn messed up?
  587. “Ewww is right. They even had this lesbian porn comic out. The other girl had brought it, she was older, probably like fourteen. Definitely in the junior high. Well, we found out that kind of porn is called ‘Yuri’ and now it’s her nickname. Everyone in school from last year knows about it.”
  589. “Wow, doesn’t everyone stay away from her? That’d be horrible.”
  591. “Eh,” Vicky shrugged, “There’s enough girls that give in to it where she’s not the only one. It’s pretty uncommon but not unheard of. Man, I miss my boyfriend.”
  593. “You had a boyfriend?” I asked
  595. “Yeah, he was thirteen, I was ten. It was another private school but that one was co-ed, a three year difference wasn’t weird, but I guess I was a little young. He was a cutie. That’s why I got sent here, that and I broke the jaw of the bitch who stole him from me… just cause she had breasts he went for her.”
  597. I reminded myself very carefully to never piss her off. “Geeze, uh, wow.” Was all I could really reply. These girls were adults compared to me. I hadn’t even been alone before last night, and this girl had had an adult relationship.
  599. We continued down the path towards the senior high building. The landscaping was actually very nice, with a lot of trees and green space between the senior dorms and the main building.
  601. Suddenly as we passed the gym a girl ran out shrieking covered in dirt. The girl tumbled to the ground with three other girls probably a year above her in hot pursuit. She looked my age.
  603. “What’d she do?” Vicky asked the three
  605. “Vicious.” They said as their smiles grew, “The stupid cunt thought she could bring contraband into the dorms without paying the tax, then she had the nerve to throw a punch a Carrie.”
  607. The person I assumed was Carrie rubbed her face in memory of the pain.
  609. “Well, well, ‘new meat’ needs to learn her place huh,” Vicky said licking her lips. “Alice, why don’t you go up to the senior building I’ll meet you there in a minute.”
  611. “Umm, I’ll wait.” I said not knowing what else to do. I didn’t want to be on my own, it was better to be with ruthless thugs than in their way. I couldn’t help but feel for the girl on the ground though as Vicky kicked her in the gut repeatedly.
  613. “I’m sorry,” She cried, “I’ll pay it, please…”
  615. “Too late now cunt. You get paid back three times over.” Vicky laid into the little girl again and I couldn’t help but feel tears forming at the horror of it. The girl was shrieking as they kept pounding at her on the floor.
  617. “Vicky, let her go please,” I begged grabbing her shoulder,
  619. “Bug off kid, not your business,” Vicky said shoving my hand.
  621. I jumped in between Vicky and the girl taking kick to the shin. I grimaced in pain but stood my ground, “Please, she’s had enough”
  623. “Lay her out too Vicious, if she doesn’t know the rules.” Carrie suggested.
  625. “No, Char’s watching out for her.” Another girl added.
  627. “Its’ okay,” Vicky said calming herself down. “You” She said pointing to the sobbing mound on the floor, “got fucking lucky. This kid felt bad for you so you’re gonna be able to walk back to the dorms. Next time a someone senior tells you to do something you better damn well do it.”
  629. The girl on the ground just nodded and continued crying.
  631. “Well, lets’ go Alice,” Vicky said starting to continue our tour.
  633. “I can’t just leave her like this.” I said desperately, she had a couple cuts on her legs from when she had fallen as well as gasping for air after the kicks to the gut.
  635. “Well, do what you want. I’ll see you tonight then?” She said as if suddenly it didn’t matter. It was very cold, I didn’t understand how they could care so little for someone else.
  637. “Thanks for stopping Vicky,” I said quietly
  639. “Yeah, well, that’s why I wanted you to go on ahead. Shit, whatever.” Vicky said and took off up the hill towards the senior building, probably to take care of something similarly nefarious. I helped the girl to her feet as she quickly bit down on her tears.
  641. “Thanks,” She said half-heartedly
  643. “It’s okay, they were being really mean.”
  645. “I’ll get them back.” She said harshly, I got the indication she meant it. Against Vicky I doubted she’d have much of a chance though.
  647. “I’m Alice, are you new here?” I asked
  649. “Yeah,” She said uninterested. “I’m Gina.”
  651. “You want me to show you where the nurse is?”
  653. She replied with a non-committal grunt and we walked down to the nurse together. The nurse’s office was rather strange experience. Ms. Sanders didn’t seem at all phased by the wounds, but she treated them carefully.
  655. “Would you like to make a report?” She asked casually
  657. “No.” Gina said bitterly
  659. Ms. Sanders looked at me sadly, “They never do.” She turned back to Gina “You know if you girls would come to us we could put a stop to this bullying.”
  661. “It wouldn’t help.” Gina replied tersely and Ms. Sanders just threw her hands up.
  663. Ms. Sanders looked at me, and I knew what she was asking and I shook my head. It’d only been half an hour, I moved slightly to check and I wasn’t even a little wet yet.
  665. Gina and I walked out of the nurse’s office and headed for the dorms. She was still dirty but at least the cuts on her knees were clean and bandaged and she wasn’t breathing so hard.
  667. “So, what the heck are you in for?” She asked suspiciously as we headed back down the main walk.
  669. “Nothing, really.” I said embarrassed. It was an obviously lie, she looked at me appraisingly, but didn’t push it. It felt like what I’d seen on the history channel about not showing weakness in prison. Admitting daddy sent me here for me wetting myself was like saying you were in Pelican Bay Penitentiary for traffic tickets. At least the way these girls saw it anyway. We walked along a little further, finally Gina broke the silence again.
  671. “Why the hell did you help me there? What’s up with you? What’re you planning?” She said piercingly. She was getting a little angry and I had no idea what to do.
  673. “I, I felt sorry for you. It could’ve been me I guess.” I said sadly
  675. “Yeah, yeah, being friendly and all that good stuff.” She said not believing me. “Well let me just say if you’re planning something worse I’ll get you worse than I’m going to pay back those four.”
  677. The open threat startled me, and I felt guilty at her accusation even though I hadn’t considered such an intricate plot as a possibility until she brought it up. Gina settled down a little though and we got to just talking about normal stuff.
  679. She was from a family on the west coast. She’d been going to a Christian school in California when she’d started getting into some fights with the boys. Apparently they’d sent her here after she’d organized the jumping of one of the nerds in her class, ‘just for fun’. The kid hadn’t been badly hurt, no lasting damage, but the kid’s family had ended up suing the school and her families of the kids participating. Part of the settlement, since she was the ringleader was that she be sent to a reform school. This was known as one of the better ones, and so here she was.
  681. I nodded in feigned understanding as she explained the weak and nerdy kids brought it on themselves. Besides, what else was she supposed to do for ‘fun’. The kid had been trying to be friends with her and it was making her look bad in front of the class. I suddenly noticed a small parallel with that and my current situation and got a sinking feeling.
  683. She followed me back to my dorm room with nothing better to do. I didn’t really know how to shake her without being mean, but she was scaring me a little. I think it was that she hadn’t been indoctrinated to the school’s gang scheme. Char’s protection probably meant nothing to the first years right now.
  685. Speaking of Char, she chose the worse possible time to enter as Gina went on about how kids that couldn’t stand on their own and take care of themselves were pathetic.
  687. “Hey kid,” Char said opening the door. “I just came back to grab my coat, you need a change?”
  689. Char then noticed the person I was sitting across from and gave me an ‘eek’ face. I started to breathe a lot faster.
  691. “No, I’m fine,” I said softly, it wasn’t exactly true, I was wet, but my diaper could easily hold another one wetting if it had too.
  693. “A change?” Gina asked raising an eyebrow and looking at me closer, “I knew there was something weird about you.” She added
  695. “Ahh well, anyway…” Char started, trying to cover for me, but I knew I was doomed.
  697. “You’re wearing diapers, aren’t you?” Gina said growing an evil little smirk.
  699. “Umm,” I looked at Char and she just shrugged apologetically. “Yeah, but I can’t help it. Don’t tell anyone okay.”
  701. “I thought you looked a little bulky under the skirt.” She leaned back as she absorbed the power of my secret. “Why shouldn’t I tell anyone?”
  703. “If you make shit hard for her, I make shit hard for you.” Char said in a no-nonsense voice.
  705. “Yeah right, what can you do? The school might not be able to help with kids, but no one will let a senior high pick on an elementary school kid.” Gina stood quickly smirking at both of us. “See ya later- baby,” She said pushing past Char in the door.
  707. Char looked like she wanted to go after her, but when I started sniffling she sat down next to me instead.
  709. “Hey, Alice, I’m really sorry, I thought you were alone.”
  711. “It’s okay,” I sadly suddenly depressed. “Everyone would’ve known eventually anyway.”
  713. “Do you really need be changed?” Char asked me again. I nodded and she laid me back on the bed. She pushed my skirt and started working on the tapes.
  715. “You’re not that wet.” She said as she undid the diaper, “You know, even though I advised against it you could always potty train. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about it.”
  717. “I don’t want too.” I said sullenly. She took out a couple of wipes and went to work.
  719. “Why do you like diapers so much?” Char asked as she cleaned me.
  721. “I don’t know, I just never did it any other way. This is comfortable, it makes me happy.” I said shrugging, “Potty training is really hard, I tried it once.”
  723. “You said, don’t you think maybe you gave up too fast?” She asked
  725. “No, I didn’t like it.”
  727. “Well, your call. They pay me for this, so I don’t really care.” Char said and she pulled out the new diaper. She slipped it under me and taped it snugly in front. She was getting better after only a couple of changes. “Yuri is right, the diaper thing is kinda cute on you.” Char considered that for a moment “Then again she might have meant it in a different way.”
  729. “Different way?” I asked
  731. “Never mind… just” She seemed to think about adding something, “Just remember what I said about being careful around her.”
  733. I nodded though I really had no idea what she meant.
  734. Chapter 4 - Worst Day Ever
  736. The first day of classes was a different experience from simply living on campus. I’d never bothered to ask the girls their ages, but Vicky was a year older than me (she got held back after being suspended for the lip-ring incident). A Yuri was only a year above us in 6th grade but she was twelve already. I was going to be eleven in a couple months though so she wasn’t really two years older than me.
  738. We got up early again, so Yuri and Vicky had time to get a shower and Char had time to change me. I had taken a shower the night before, under her supervision. She’d said she was sure I could handle it myself, but I was sure if I tried to wash my hair I’d get soap in my eyes, so she washed it for- with the assurance I would soon need to be doing it myself soon- soap in the eyes or not. She gave me a little help into my uniform and I followed Vicky to class.
  740. Class structure was really different from dorm structure. In the dorms we were pretty much left under the control of the senior high girls on each floor. There were only one or two adults staying in the elementary hall, though I heard once you got to the junior high level there was a lot more adult supervision. Only the more trusted senior high kids got to watch the elementary building.
  742. In the class the teachers were extreme in the no-nonsense arena. A couple kids started talking and boom- they had to stand against the wall with their arms stretched out like wings. It was fine at first, but they were soon grimacing in pain. The teacher had a rolled up magazine as well that he bopped students on the head with if they weren’t paying attention. I got that one pretty quick. It just irked most of the kids, but I thought it hurt pretty bad and had to choke back a tear.
  744. The teachers rotated through, leaving us in the same class. History had been first, and even though he was in more basic than what I had been studying, at least it was somewhat interesting. Ms. Nguyen was our math teacher. Never mind that it was hard to concentrate with her accent- I absolutely hated the subject. She finally got to me after a good twenty minutes, looking over her roll book.
  746. “Okay… Alice, you do #4 on board.” She said motioning to the problems on the board. I walked up, worried. I’d managed to ignore most of her lecture and now had no idea what was going on. Not to mention I was sore for having to sit in a wooden desk for almost two hours. I looked up at the board as I arrived. I stared long and hard but as the other kids finished I knew I had to come up with something correct or not.
  748. ‘312 x 3 =’ I stared at it in horror trying to remember how to do these things. I was stumped. Damn I should’ve been listening. Well, 12 x 3 was… well, 10 x 3 was 30. 2 x 3 was 6. So 12 x 3 was 36. 312 x 3? Hmm. I wrote down 36 under the problem and x 3, 6 x 3 = 18, 3 x 3 = 9 so, 27? Maybe if I added them all together. 36 + 27 + 312 = 375, right a good round number. I wrote my answer on the board with complete surety that I was wrong. As I returned to my seat I passed by Gina, who I hadn’t noticed since her nasty departure the previous day.
  750. “I guess the baby can’t do math either.” She hissed as I passed to my seat. A couple other girls snickered nearby, having heard her. My face turned red and I felt a couple of tears coming. I knew it would only make it worse though, so I tried to choke them back.
  752. “Alright class, lets’ go over the problems. Number one… okay that’s good. Number two, no see here you forget carry the one.” Ms. Nguyen fixed the problem briefly corrected the error and checked off number three, I was just waiting for it.
  754. “Number four is completely wrong.” She said shaking her head. “Were you even paying attention Ms. Woodren?”
  756. “I uhh… no ma’am” I responded my chest getting tight as I heard Gina and the other girls snickering. “I’m sorry.” I felt tears coming out and I bit the inside of my mouth hard but they wouldn’t stop. I’d never been publicly humiliated like this. I’d never even been in school with other kids before.
  758. “Oh, now the baby’s gonna cry.” Gina hissed. Ms. Nguyen shot her a dirty look, but I missed it as I started crying a little harder.
  760. Another girl piped up, “What’s wrong did she wet her diaper?”
  762. The whole class started laughing at this point. I started sobbing uncontrollably. This was definitely the worst thing to have ever happened to me besides having been sent here in the first place.
  764. “YOU WILL ALL BE QUIET RIGHT NOW!” Ms Nguyen yelled and the class cut out instantly. She walked over to me, “Are you okay?” She said putting her hand on my back.
  766. I was frantic at this point, choking out tears. My diaper was wet, my head hurt and I wanted to leave so bad I could taste it. Without thinking I looked up at her.
  768. “I need to get changed.” I realized what I said the minute it had left my mouth. The class completely erupted, and Ms. Nguyen just nodded as I tore out of the room at full speed. I cried and gasped as I ran down the hall finally stopping in the nurse’s office. I could still hear the laughter as I ran with Ms. Nguyen’s voice booming over them to be quiet or stay in for recess.
  770. “Hey what can I…My god are you okay Alice?” Ms Sanders said as I came in still crying and gasping from the run
  772. “They all know, Gina told them, and I said something stupid. I wanna go home.” I said pathetically. She hugged me a little as she sat me down on the cot.
  774. “What did you say?” She asked
  776. “I dunno, I was crying and they were all calling me a baby.” I said hurriedly, still gasping between speaking, but I was calming down as she held me. “I said I needed to be changed.”
  778. “Oh my,” Ms. Sanders replied, “That is pretty bad. Well, good thing is kids have short attention spans. This one will probably haunt you for awhile though. Do you need a change?”
  780. I nodded wiping the tears from my eyes and trying to clear my nose by sniffling. Ms. Sanders handed my a couple of tissues and proceeded to change me on the health cot. I blew my nose as she wiped me grabbed a new diaper for me out of the cupboard.
  782. “Hey there.” Vicky said opening the door to the nurse’s office and stepping inside. It’s weird looking at someone through your legs as your being changed. Vicky met my gaze and chuckled slightly “Wow, you really stepped in it there. That was a full blowout, I’ve never seen anything that bad.”
  784. “Thanks a lot.” I said bitterly. It came out even more pathetic due to the fact I was naked waiting for the fresh diaper to be taped up. Ms. Sanders was taking her time and it was a little cold. “Why are you here?”
  786. “I told Ms. Nguyen you’re my roommate. I asked if I could walk you back, make sure you’re alright.”
  788. “Thanks.” I said, appreciating the sentiment.
  790. “Ms. Nguyen said I could take you back to the dorms and we don’t have to come back until tomorrow, you know to let it die down for a day. I’ll pick our work after classes are finished.”
  792. “I don’t have to go back today?” I asked hopefully, Vicky nodded and I sighed, a shiver of pleasure, a ray of hope coming to me. I could steel myself for it by tomorrow. I just hadn’t expected it to come on so strong and suddenly.
  794. Ms. Sanders finished changing me and I smoothed out my skirt as we left the infirmary. E strolled down the hall, happy to be free even if it was to be short lived.
  796. “I’m so sorry about this.” I said hanging my head.
  798. “Don’t be, you got me out of class.” Vicky said happily, “I’m sorry about this, but I can’t protect you at all in class now.” She said a little regretfully
  800. “What?” I said shocked, “But, please…”
  801. “No way, you made yourself a target. If I’m nice to you I go down too, and harder cause’ I’ll fight. I can probably take them all on actually, but it’s too big of a risk. I can’t ostracize the whole class.” Vicky sighed as we kept walking, “You’ve got to stay away from me in class, if you try to come to me for protection I’ll have to be even worse than they are. I’m warning you cause I like you.”
  803. “I hate this school.” I said angrily to no one in particular.
  805. “You and me both.” Vicky agreed.
  807. The walk seemed long as we passed out of the main building and headed the fifty or so yards to the elementary dorm. It was, of course, completely empty. We headed up the steps to our room. We dropped our backpacks on the floor and flopped onto our respective bunks.
  809. “Hey, I know something that’ll make you feel better.” Vicky said and went over to the dresser putting all her weight against it and shoving it forward. She reached her arm far behind the dresser and after a few minutes she came up proudly with a beaten pack of cigarettes. “Here, this is cause’ I like you, and I feel really bad there’s nothing I can do. These are worth there weight in gold.”
  811. She handed me a single cigarette and I didn’t know what to do. I looked it over, I’d seen a few other girls smoking furtively behind the dorm building earlier. There had to be a reason they all did it. Even Char smoked with her friends.
  813. “What do I do?” I asked sheepishly
  815. “You’ve never… of course not. This’ll be fun then.” She said, “Okay, it’ll probably hurt when you first breathe in the smoke, but you’ve got to hold it as long as you can. Then you just do it over and over again and you’ll feel way better.”
  817. She pulled a cigarette out for herself and produced a small tin ashtray. “It’s Char’s, but she doesn’t care if I use it as long as I’m not stealing her smokes.”
  819. “We’re not supposed to be doing this are we…” I asked rhetorically as she pulled a lighter from the battered cigarette pack. Vicky opened the window to the room and turned our one fan outwards towards it. “Char was the one who bought the fan, good choice if you ask me.”
  821. We sat on the floor placing the ashtray between us. Vicky lit the first cigarette after a couple of tries and handed it to me while lighting her own. I looked at it tentatively. It seemed naughty, but it was good enough for adults right? Besides, even if Vicky had to ignore me at school, she was trying to bond in her own way here. I took the end of the cigarette in my mouth a took a deep drag, followed immediately by a hacking cough.
  823. “This sucks,” I said, trying to get my breath back.
  825. “No, look, do it slow and ignore the tickling feeling.” Vicky said demonstrating. She did look cool and grown-up a she took a long drag off the cigarette.
  827. “That’s the shit.” She said happily, her muscles visibly relaxing as she leaned back.
  829. I tried again, wanting to feel what she did. The smoke tickled something awful but I held it against the pain of the cough. I counted to about thirty and when I felt like I was about to explode I let go, coughing as the smoke escaped from my previously clean lungs. My head was swimming. It was *nice*.
  831. “Hey you feel it?” She said as she saw my head lulling around slightly
  833. “Yeah, this is niiicce.” I said, trying to take another drag but my hand was shaking,
  835. “Hold the cigarette with both hands if you start relaxing too much.” Vicky advised. “You drop it and burn the carpet and we are in deep shit.”
  837. I agreed and cupped it in both of my hands, carefully flicking the ash constantly as I methodically took drags to increase my high. Vicky laughed a little with how hard I was concentrating, I guess she was used to smoking, or maybe just trying to be cool. The pack looked rather old, and there were only a few left. I bet she didn’t get to smoke very often. I realized rather profoundly then what a gift this was from her.
  839. I finished the cigarette slowly and stamped it into the tin ash tray, Vicky having done so moments before. The head rush was still there, though it was slowly beginning to fade.
  841. “Thanks Vicky, that was really great, I owe you one.” I said happily, leaning against my bunk while sitting on the floor.
  843. “It is great isn’t it.” She said, “If you wanna make up for it front me the next opportunity I get to buy a pack.”
  845. “How much do they charge?” I asked interestedly
  847. “This girl I know in the junior high gets them from senior high. When she’s able to get extra she’ll sell to whoever’s next on the elementary list. There’s like six or seven of us she sells to, the ones she knows won’t rat on her. She charge’s like $20 a pack, but she’s getting marked up by the senior high, who’s getting marked up by the shopkeeper who sells without ID. I can usually get one or two packs a semester.”
  849. “Maybe we could ask Char, she knows a girl over eighteen.”
  851. “No way, Char might not turn me in, but she thinks we’re too young to smoke. The only reason she won’t turn us in is cause’ we don’t turn her in.”
  853. I nodded in understanding. Truly delinquency took more thought and connections than I had previously imagined. If I’d heard all this before smoking a cigarette I certainly wouldn’t have understood the point to it all.
  855. I stretched out still in the afterglow of the nicotine and released my bladder enjoyed the increased stimulation on the warm pee. I sighed a little and decided that maybe coming here hadn’t been the worst thing ever. Then I remembered the class session that had brought all the on. It definitely was the worst thing ever- with a couple perks to trick me into thinking I could enjoy it.
  857. We just sat around and talked for awhile it had only been eleven when we got back from class. So we had awhile until school was over and the other kids came back to the dorm.
  859. The door opened suddenly and Char strolled in looking at us in surprise. She eyed the fan and the tin box Vicky hadn’t bother to put away yet.
  861. “Apparently you two had the same idea I did. I’m on lunch though, how the hell did you two get out of classes?” Char said surprised
  863. Vicky relayed my most embarrassing moment and Char alternated between laughing and sparing looks of empathy.
  865. “That’s horrible Alice, they’re assholes, but you gotta admit, it was classic the way it all turned out. I mean, you dug your grave and buried yourself.”
  867. “Thanks a lot Char, that’s what Vicky said.” I replied dejectedly
  869. “Whatever, you’re young, it’ll fade away.” Char assured me, pulling out her own pack of smokes. “Before I get to it, you need a change?”
  871. “I’m a little wet, if you don’t mind.” I said
  873. Char assured me she didn’t and gave me a quick and clinical change before lighting up. Vicky eyed her full pack of smokes enviously, and I now kind of knew where she was coming from.
  875. The rest of the day just found me and Vicky hanging around the dorm. This place was going to hold a dreadful routine without video games. At least I’d found a new, if expensive and elusive, hobby. In an odd way the fact that I wasn’t supposed to do it seemed like a minor revenge against daddy for sending me here.
  876. Chapter 5: Smackdown
  877. Gina had to die. At first it had been humiliating, now it was just torture. As the weeks had gone by I’d gradually recovered from the utter humiliation of my first day. True to her promise Vicky did nothing to help me, but she never added to my pain either. It was making me stronger. The words hurt less. I didn’t cry now when they called me a baby.
  879. Oddly enough- evenings were kind of fun. Char took me out on weekends and I was getting used to their group. I wasn’t really treated like one of them because I was so much younger, they didn’t let me smoke with them either. I’d only managed to get one more cigarette off of Vicky since the beginning of the semester. Still Stacey and Lynn were nice, we watched movies together, and hung out at a local coffee shop of Saturday nights. It was boring at first, just sitting around talking, but it beat being stuck in the monotony and pettiness of classes. It was a brief moment of freedom.
  881. Dorm life was still way better than school life though. Vicious, (I’d finally given up, everyone used her nickname) Yuri and Char wouldn’t let them pick on me there, so it was only in the classroom and on breaks and lunch that I had a really rough time. They called me a baby, made pee-yew faces and mocked my pathetic attempts at arithmetic. Char helped me a little with my math and I was catching up a little. The name calling was horrible but as I got used to it, it didn’t affect me as much.
  883. Of course that was what caused Gina to take it up a notch. The kids were getting bored of making fun of me cause I wasn’t reacting as badly. When they started to lose interest Gina started to lose her focal point to control them.
  885. The first physical assault might have been an accident but I highly doubt it. I was back on my way from the board to my desk and a foot my causally placed in front of me. A stupid, basic trick, but I didn’t have any experience with it. Hence my falling flat on my face, skirt flying over my back and a good two solid seconds of my diaper completely exposed. Life was shit for the next three days.
  887. I was angry, I asked Gina to quit bothering me, to which she only added more insults. ‘Baby’ this and ‘Baby’ that, I was getting fed up. The bitch had to die. I’d never had thoughts like this before. Oh, sure, I’d manipulated people at home to serve my interests, but I never really wanted to see them in pain. Actually, I didn’t know if I wanted Gina to be in pain, as long as she was incapable of bothering me I would be happy. If she was gone I could probably handle the others, she was the one galvanizing everyone against me. I mean, I was sure there would still be jokes, and insults but without the directed, planned malice. Gina however made the mistake of bringing everything to a head.
  889. It had been a particularly uneventful day and I was in a decent mood. The taunts had been small and unenthusiastic on the students’ parts and I wasn’t entirely hating life as me and Vicky walked along in the October afternoon after classes. We were about halfway to the dorms when a group of five girls came out from behind the bushes. Vicious separated herself by a few feet with the obvious intention of watching without intervening. I didn’t expect more, besides the spit wads, tripping and pinching they’d never really hurt me. Something however felt different about this.
  891. “You and that Vicious bitch think you’re better than us huh?” Gina started the other girls taking up her flanks.
  893. “Don’t bring me into this or you’ll be sorry.” Vicious spat, and went back to watching
  895. “We’ve got our own gang now, you guys might be friends with the seniors but that doesn’t do shit out here.” Gina said the others nodding in ascension.
  897. “Look Gina I was just trying to be friends with you and you’ve treated me like shit ever since that first day. Say what you’re gonna say and go away. I’ve got plans.” I replied sadly. As often as it was, I hated these confrontations.
  899. “Fuck you, you stupid little baby.” Gina said and spat in my face.
  901. I gritted my teeth and tried not to show emotion as the saliva dripped off my nose.
  903. “What’re you going to do now huh?”
  905. I silently cursed her but said nothing aloud.
  907. “She must not mind getting dirty, she shits herself after all.” Gina said referencing the spit on my face. The girls all timed the laugh perfectly. I must not cry. I MUST NOT CRY. I repeated it like a mantra with my eyes closed.
  909. I stood completely still when suddenly a blinding pain entered my gut. I looked down to see Gina’s fist solidly landed there. My breath left my body and I hit the floor gasping, as tears started to leak from her eyes. I realized this was how she draws tears when words stop working. I would’ve been better off just crying
  911. “Hey, that’s uncalled for,” Vicious said stepping forward. “She’s not a fighter.”
  913. “You shut the fuck up, now you take sides huh.” Gina said
  915. “We know you’re friends with the baby,” One of the others added, “Why don’t you just admit you change her diapers before you *#&%”
  917. Whatever the term I didn’t understand was, I assume it was sexual in nature. Regardless the offensive girl was laid out in a second. Vicious used a fist to the face and a foot to the gut to subdue her.
  919. “Get her!” Gina yelled, the three left running at Vicky. Gina didn’t aid them however, she had plans for me. I was still collecting myself on the floor when I felt a tuft of hair pulled and a nasty hiss in my ear.
  921. “You aren’t going to be able to move for a week when I’m done with you, you little shit. I told you I’d pay you and your friend back for what you did to me.” She spit on me again and slammed my face into the pavement. I was out of options. The world was flashing as my ears rang from the impact.
  923. I thrust my body back knocking her off me. She looked startled but regained her balance. She charged at full speed attempting to grab me by the collar. I snapped my fist and caught her straight in the face. A smack sound erupted and blood began to flow from her nostrils.
  925. “Please stop!” I said, not wanting to have to keep doing this.
  927. “FUCK YOU!” She said grabbing her nose. There were tears in both our eyes now, my face burned with the pain of the pavement, hers with the pain of my fist’s impact.
  929. She attacked again, but the nose shot made her eyes tear up and she couldn’t see. I could tell she was trying to grab my hair. I took a half step to the right and slammed my knee into her gut. She dropped like a stone with the wind knocked out of her.
  931. “You dropped her?” Vicky said in shock, I looked over to see two girls running away and the third being held down by Vicky as she crouched over the one left, driving her knee onto the girl’s neck just hard enough to keep her down and be uncomfortable.
  933. “I didn’t mean too.” I said sadly, but it wasn’t true. Daddy would be so ashamed of me.
  935. “That’s frickin’ awesome.” Vicky said, getting off the girl and kicking her as she started to run away. “Can you fight?” The last girl besides Gina was booking off to the dorms after her friends.
  937. “Daddy made me promise when I took lessons I’d never use it unless it was an emergency.” I said sadly. Three years I’d gone to a local dojo, and not one of the kid ones either. I made mom find me a real one, I got really into it after I watched a couple of kung-fu movies. I didn’t like fighting though, an odd paradox. I sparred cause’ we had too, but I liked the forms. Katas are like dancing, I’d thought about ballet but the uniform changed my mind. I didn’t like hurting people. I was surprised at how effective I was after two months of no practice. I just hadn’t felt like practicing since daddy cancelled my enrollment when he decided I was going to St. Dorothy’s.
  939. “Umm, I think this was an emergency.” Vicky replied as she drove her foot into the disabled form of Gina. Her tone dripped venom as it regarded Gina. “You dirty little whore. I told you to respect the seniors didn’t I?” Vicky said grinding her foot into Gina’s hair. “You never should’ve saved her ass.” Vicky said to me. I still disagreed. Gina was evil, but she was a kid. We all were, there’s punishment and then there going overboard. “She’d have never let you go if you were where she is now.”
  940. That was true, and I was done dealing with Gina. “I’m going back to the dorms. Could you take care of her for the both of us Vicious?” I asked sadly. I didn’t want to do it their way, but it seemed like the only way now.
  942. “You got it, see ya later.” Vicky replied grinning. Gina whimpered. I spun on my heel and headed back to our room to get cleaned up. A muffled sob came from behind as I walked away. I didn’t turn around. I felt pity, but it wasn’t enough to make up for two months of hell.
  944. Char saw the state of me and asked where I’d been. She simply nodded in understanding as I relayed the story. There were grunts of approval when I explained how I took Gina down, and surprise when I explained how bad it made me feel.
  946. “Dang, you’re super nice.” Char said amazed “To think you could’ve just kicked her ass this whole time and you just stood there and took it.”
  948. “It’s wrong to fight. I tried not to she –made- me.” I said pitifully. The feeling of pride was threatening to overwhelm what I knew was the right way to look at things. Besides I didn’t want respect, I wanted my home, and my nanny back. I didn’t want to be hard and bad like these other girls. I wanted my diapers and my teddy bear. That’s it. I only did the martial arts because I it looked pretty like dancing and diapers are way too obvious under a leotard.
  950. “That’s pretty cool you could get some respect around here once this story gets out.”
  952. “I don’t want respect!” I said louder than I meant too. I quieted down, Char didn’t deserve my frustration. “Char will you give me a hug?”
  954. “What? Why?”
  956. “You held me the first day, please…I need a hug.” Char nodded and went over and she wrapped her arms around me. She smelled like a whiff of smoke and perfumed interlaced neatly. I cried a little and she stroked my head.
  958. “You feeling a little better?” She asked after a few minutes and I nodded, standing up straight. “You need a change?”
  960. “Definitely,” I answered.
  962. Char took good care of my, setting me on the bed and pushing my skirt up. The only good thing about our boring uniform was that it made for easy diaper changes. She grabbed my diaper bad off the shelf and unzipped it pulling out the wipes and a fresh one.
  964. “Ehh, looks like you might need a little cream too. I think that rash might be coming back.”
  966. “Damn,” I said as she pulled the tub out.
  968. “You know, if you didn’t sit around in them so long, you probably wouldn’t have this problem.”
  970. “Ms. Sanders isn’t as good as you at changing me though.” I said, hoping she’d understand it was a compliment.
  971. “I don’t know what you’re gonna do when I go away this weekend then.” Char said, the regret for my predicament was there, but she obviously was looking forward to it.
  973. I was dreading it. Char’s parents had decided to go to Paris for labor day weekend and they were taking her along. Most kids only went home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but Char wasn’t here as a punishment anymore, so he parents wanted to include her. That meant four days alone because she was leaving Thursday night and not coming back until Monday. It meant I might have to make the trek to the central building every time I needed a change. The nurse wasn’t even on campus after hours, so I might even have to ask the dorm manager. That would be awkward. She was a stern, elderly lady and the idea made me really uncomfortable.
  975. “You know, you could just change yourself for a couple of days.” Char suggested seeing the depression written on my face. “I wouldn’t want to be changed by Ms. Stevenson either.” She said ribbing me a little.
  977. “But I don’t know how.”
  979. “Like heck you don’t. You’re turning eleven this month. I’m sure you can handle it.”
  981. “But if I can change myself you won’t do it anymore…” I said sadly
  983. “Sheesh, I’ll still change you if you want me too.” Char replied. I nodded sadly, learning to change my own diapers was where I’d drawn the line. I was showering by myself now, I just had Char take my diaper off when we went to the showers together. Most of the time I dressed myself, Char only helped when I begged. She thought it was kind of cute, but she was to busy to bother with it most of the time. If I knew how to change myself the same attitude would probably start applying to my diapers. I’d just have to find someone to change me for four days. Maybe one of Char’s friends would do it if I paid them a babysitting fee. I could afford it, and it’d be money well spent.
  985. Char went to work wiping me and applying the cream. I winced, as it was a little cold. Char made sure the cream was well applied and slid a new diaper under me. She taped up the front and patted me on the tummy. “All clean now.” She said half-joking. She knew I liked it, but I’d never admitted it- half for the worry she’d stop.
  987. “Don’t go,” I pleaded, knowing it was futile, besides I wouldn’t want the guilt of keeping her here.
  989. “Right kid, pass up a free vacation for changing diapers.” She laughed, “Well, you’ve got until tomorrow to figure something out anyway.”
  991. Vicky came in smiling. “Eh, she got her’s.” She didn’t need to say anymore as Char gave her an approving nod. Not respecting a senior was something no one tolerated.
  993. When classes came the next day everything was different. The baby jokes were said whispered, not to my face. Gina was absent, probably got the day off after the nurse saw what Vicky had done to her. The other four that had been backing her couldn’t meet my gaze, one had a nice black eye.
  995. The respect was nice in the effect it had on the bullying, but I didn’t want it to be this way. The only way I saw it is now more people would force me to fight to prove themselves. Either way someone ended up getting hurt. If I hadn’t been fearing serious pain, there was no way I’d have taken Gina down. It wasn’t worth it.
  997. Another nice addition was Vicious. We’d been getting along pretty good in the dorms over the last month. She was really my only friend close to my age. Now she was openly my friend. My heart soared at that. I’d been alone in class until now. Vicky hadn’t made friends with anyone either, since she was already a part of a 6th grade clique. She could sit with me on break and lunch now that I wasn’t the class punching bag.
  999. Our solidarity made everyone else seem weak and pathetic. The cliques had already been formed for the new students, but the bonds weren’t deep yet. I was being pulled into Vicky’s world, which was fine by me, and after beating Gina down, Vicky treated me a little different. Respect from the other kids meant nothing. Respect from Vicky made me feel good, even if it was for the wrong reason in my opinion. I understood why Vicky had stayed away in public before, to befriend a weakling was to ostracize yourself from the strong. If it got back to her own clique, even they might abandon her. Now that I had a little backbone, it was acceptable to choose me as a friend.
  1001. Riding on a high from my first day of decent classes I came back to an empty room. Char had left me a note saying she had had to leave early. I was wet. This sucked.
  1002. Chapter 6: Freak
  1003. (Okay: Rating Warning!!- This is slightly heavier than the other chapters, I think it would still be PG-13 in the movies, but I felt the sexual situations warranted note)
  1005. I paced around the room a few times. The wet diaper wasn’t getting drier. I’d known Char was going away for a few weeks but I’m a terrible procrastinator. Hell, that’s what got me here in the first place.
  1007. “Dammit!” I said in frustration throwing my pillow at the wall.
  1009. “Damn what?” Yuri asked. I hadn’t noticed her come in
  1011. “I need to be changed, and Char is gone, and Ms. Sanders is already gone for the day.” I sighed annoyed.
  1013. “You could change yourself.” She suggested like Char had.
  1015. “It’s not the same when you change yourself…” I droned off. This was depressing
  1017. “I’ll do it for you.” She replied matter-of-factly.
  1019. Yuri was an interesting character. She was one of those fade into the woodwork types. She followed Char’s plan to the ‘T’. Don’t make waves, don’t have anyone notice you. If not for a single slip up in her love life she’d have probably never even got a nickname.
  1021. I got a nickname. ‘Baby’, it wasn’t exactly great, but if it didn’t have all the negative connotations I might’ve liked it. Char and Vicky were the only ones who still called me Alice, and Char of all people even slipped up once. It kind of fit, what could I really say?
  1023. Yuri had put me in an odd spot. Char warned me early to steer clear, but that’s hard when you’re room mates. We’d had our odd conversation here and there, played cards at night, but we didn’t hang out like Vicky and I did. I wanted my diaper changed bad, and she was willing. I just had a bad feeling about it. Over the next moment my discomfort won out.
  1025. “Okay, do you know how?”
  1027. “I’ll figure it out.” She said shrugging. I lied down on the bed and hiked up my skirt. Yuri grabbed my diaper bag and removed the materials.
  1029. She removed the tapes to the diaper and got this look in her eyes that kind of bothered me. I just laid there and closed my eyes trying to concentrate on something else. She wiped me slowly when suddenly I felt something on my lips. It was another pair of lips. I was naked from the waist down, lip locked with my roommate. I felt the hand with the wipe still moving. In a flash my arms came out, shoving Yuri hard as she flew back.
  1031. “Hey, what the fuck was that for?” Yuri asked confused
  1033. “FREAK!” I called, standing up, feeling vulnerable do to my nudity.
  1035. “What the hell is going on?” Vicky asked bursting into the room. In a moment I was huddling behind her, using her as a shield between me and Yuri. I felt sick.
  1037. “She kissed me!” I said trying to slow my breathing.
  1039. “Yuri, that is -messed- up.” Vicky said, a look of surprise and disgust in her eyes.
  1041. “No! It wasn’t like that,” Yuri said frantically, “I misunderstood. Please, Baby, I thought you wanted… I thought you knew. They told you about me, I sent the signals… Dear god, please don’t tell anyone.” She said, looking as if she was about to break down. “I can’t go through this again, please, the name’s bad enough.” She took a deep breath. “I mean, you let me change you…I thought”
  1043. Vicky had calmed down visibly by now, as well as myself. I still felt violated, but I was beginning to understand.
  1045. “Come on,” Yuri continued. “I told you a couple of times I thought you were cute. I just thought you’d come around, you know with Char not being here.”
  1047. “Wishful thinking” I said harshly, “Getting changed isn’t like that for me either.”
  1049. “It was stupid and I’m sorry,” She begged, “Please, forgive me?”
  1051. “This is clearly a misunderstanding Alice.” Vicky said turning to me, “Come on let it go, she can’t help it. She wouldn’t have done it if she hadn’t thought you wanted too.”
  1053. “Okay,” I said, I was calming down a bit. I didn’t really blame her now that I understood. I still felt ill though. My heart was still going a million miles a minute. “It’s okay Yuri” I continued slowly, “Just a misunderstanding…”
  1055. I’d never look at Yuri the same way again. She spent the rest of my time at St. Dorothy’s trying to make up for this moment. The worst part was I didn’t blame her for it, she still disgusted me though. It wasn’t even her predilections, it was that she’d accidentally taken advantage of me, and a first kiss is something you never get back.
  1057. “Hey,” Vicky said softly, “Yuri went for a walk. I thought it was for the best.”
  1059. “Thanks,” I said mutely having just been standing still with my eyes closed since I accepted Yuri’s apology
  1061. “I was surprised, I never believed Yuri would force someone, and I was proven right. What a horrible misunderstanding. It’ll be okay Alice.” I hugged Vicky. She stiffened, looked surprised and finally she hugged me back.
  1063. “Want me to try changing you, before you end up ruining our rug?” Vicky said trying to make a joke. I just nodded and laid down on the bed. At least Vicky was safe.
  1065. It was definitely different being changed by someone your own age. A little more pathetic too, at least when it was older people I could pretend it was normal, I was younger than them. Still Vicky did a decent job. I had to lift my own hips though, she couldn’t pick up my legs like Char did. Yuri, damn her, had already wiped me so I instructed Vicky to just dust a little powder and put on the knew one.
  1067. I lifted my hips and she slid the diaper under me, working to find both sides of it while reaching around me. Finally the front part of the diaper was pulled up and the tapes attached, albeit a little loosely. It was a 4 out of 10 changing, but what had I been expecting?
  1069. “Thanks, I sorry I made you do that.” I said,
  1071. “It’s alright. Look I’m sure Yuri is as upset as you are by this.” Vicky replied,
  1073. “No way in hell she is.” I said bitterly and Vicky just nodded. Without a word she looked out the door, down the hallway both ways. Then she moved the dresser. Thank god, I needed one right now. The coveted pack was down to the last two. Vicky was going to share them with me.
  1075. “You’re so nice to me.” I said softly, pulling one from the pack. My third cigarette.
  1077. “I save them for days like these,” She said shrugging, “I don’t know why I’m so nice to you. It’s not like me. I think it’s because you’re the only person here who doesn’t care how much ass I can kick and looks up to me anyway.”
  1079. It was true. Vicky was my senior, she took care of me when she could and I needed it. Even if she was in the grade she had another year of experience under her belt. Besides me and Char she was never nice to anyone. Still, the evil side of her was something I saw less than her good side, though it was probably out every moment she wasn’t around me.
  1081. The fan on and the tin ashtray out we lit up and I took a long dragged coughing slightly. At least I was able to hold most of it now. My head started buzzing and the ickness of the situation seemed to matter a little less. My diaper got changed in the end anyway, and there was no way Yuri would make that mistake again. Still it’d be uncomfortable to be changed in front of her now. I hoped she’d have the decency to leave instead of making me have to ask her.
  1083. I pushed it out of my mind as I took another drag and Vicky smiled at me broadly. We giggled a little at what we were getting away with. The dorm manager would have a shit fit if she knew elementary students were smoking. It was part of the appeal.
  1085. Yuri came back about a half hour later. She seemed in a lot better spirits. She eyed me apologetically.
  1087. “I’ve got good news,” She said, “I can make this up to you,”
  1089. “Just drop it okay,” I said, it was nice that she was sorry, but I didn’t want to think about it.
  1091. “No this is big, my girlfri… Chelsea is gonna sneak out tomorrow night. There’s a party going on at her boyfriend’s house who goes to the public high school near here.”
  1092. “Who’s Chelsea?” I asked
  1094. “Chelsea’s is the girl senior high girl we caught her with last year.” Vicky clarified
  1096. “Then why does she have a boyfriend?”
  1098. “She just started senior high this year.” Yuri answered, “To your second question, threesomes.”
  1100. “Ewww.” I answered and Vicky nodded in agreement “Did you just come back to tell us about your love life?”
  1102. “No, you’re the ones who asked.” Yuri replied, a little hurt, “Anyway her boyfriend’s car has five seats. There were only three of us going. You –two- get the idea.”
  1104. “No way in heck.” Vicky answered “Char will kill us.”
  1105. “Char’s not here.” Yuri responded smugly. Suddenly Vicky’s looked changed to contemplation.
  1107. “Wanna go to a party Alice?” She asked hopefully.
  1109. “What like a birthday party?” I asked, eliciting laughs from Vicky and Yuri.
  1111. “No dummy, a party. You know- boys, drinking.” Yuri answered slyly
  1113. “Drinking?” I asked, surely she didn’t mean alcohol. I was only turning eleven in a week.
  1115. “Yeah, that sounds fucking awesome.” Vicky finished for me. It made it sound as if the drinking part had tempted me.
  1117. “Great, then we’re even right?” Yuri asked. I nodded slowly, I was now absolutely terrified of tomorrow. “I’m going to go tell Chelsea you’re definitely going then.”
  1119. Yuri skipped out cheerily, more back to her old self. She must’ve needed to even us up to alleviate her guilt. Also it was probably a bribe for my silence. I turned to Vicky, she seemed deep in thought.
  1121. “Have you ever been to a party before?” I asked, a little fear in my voice. “I haven’t.”
  1123. “Whew.” Vicky said relaxing, “Neither have I. Sorry- I was scared little miss sheltered had one up on me. It would’ve been way too embarrassing. No offense.”
  1125. “Have you ever, you know, drank before?” I said, a little worried about the whole idea
  1127. “No, but I hear it’s a lot of fun.” She replied. This only made my apprehension grow stronger. This was apparently out of the range of what even Vicious Vicky was used too. She was usually used to set my danger meter. This was off the scale then…
  1129. “How does Yuri get to do this stuff then?” I asked, not quite comprehending. I mean, sure she was turning thirteen at the beginning of next year, but she was still an elementary school kid.
  1131. “I suppose it’s easy to get hooked-up when you’re screwing someone in senior high…” Vicky said. We both let that sink in for a moment. Just what in heck had we gotten ourselves into?
  1133. The next night you could cut the tension in with a knife in our dorm room. Yuri was trying to act like she didn’t care but we could tell she was excited too. I wasn’t so much excited as afraid but somehow the two emotions were mixing into some hybrid that keep my heart threatening to rip out of my chest.
  1135. The plan was pretty simple. The dorm manager checked lights out at 9:15pm, then they simply expected you to stay there. Generally it was secure enough, after all most rooms had a senior in them, and where we would go? It just happened that everything came together to allow us a brief night of escape. At least we didn’t have classes the next morning.
  1137. Chelsea wanted us at the car at 9:30PM. Our room was on the second floor so we were going to have to climb out the window and drop to the ground. That would’ve been dangerous except there was a ledge under the window sill. That put us only a little over one story up. There was also a hill, that rose about five feet above the first floor on this side of the building. Essentially it meant if you could get a good four foot jump you were only falling about six feet. If you tripped though you, would be falling twelve feet.
  1139. Due to the time constraints we decided to get ready before lights out, and then turn the lights out before the dorm manager did her check. She’d look in to make sure we were there, but she wouldn’t check to see if we were in pajamas or not. Getting ready for the party was actually pretty fun.
  1141. “Hey, what do you think?” Vicky said holding up a mini skirt that must’ve been made for a midget. Her panties wouldn’t even be covered completely, “A bit much huh? I was just joking. I got this before my growth spurt and I keep forgetting to chuck it.”
  1143. She picked out something else daring but more reasonable. A pair of super tight black jeans and a spaghetti string top. The top was skin tight, I guess Vicky was trying to show off she wasn’t completely flat anymore. I wondered why girls are so proud of their chests, mom always just said it made her back hurt. My nanny Rosa complained about the same thing a couple of times too. I had no interest in growing them. Maybe willpower alone could save me.
  1145. “What are you wearing?” Vicky asked throwing more gel in her hair, as if it wasn’t already spiky enough.
  1147. “How about this?” I asked holding a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with a flower design.
  1149. “That’s horrible, are you trying to look five?” She asked in disbelief
  1151. “Well fine,” I said a little miffed, “What do you think I should wear?”
  1153. Vicky began running through my section of the closet. She groaned at the cute stuff that filled it. It wasn’t my fault, my parents bought them. Apparently being dressed by your parents wasn’t very cool.
  1155. “Hey, this is alright.” She said, selecting my dinner dress. Daddy had said I should take something formal, in case there were social functions or something. It was just a normal black dress, it came down a little past my knees and we’d had the tailor flare it a bit so my diaper wasn’t so obvious.
  1157. “Yeah, but its so boring.”
  1159. “It looks adult, this is a grown-up party.”
  1161. I sighed and took it from Vicky. When in Rome. I took off my uniform and now, with only minimal difficulty, managed to get the darn thing on.
  1163. Vicky was pretty into it, so after I had the dress on she decided we needed to wear makeup. Yuri and her debated over my hair as well, which we put a little gel in to style. I looked pretty, I guess. The me looking back in mirror, with makeup and styled hair… I just wasn’t me. I looked older, that was for certain.
  1165. “She’s really pretty.” Yuri said looking at me wistfully. Immediately she realized what she had said, she added apologetically “Sorry, but you are pretty.”
  1167. “It’s okay, Vicky do you really think I look good like this?” I asked, still unsure of all these changes
  1169. “Tons better, now you won’t stick out so much.” She said, appraising my new look.
  1171. “Um, Vicky, I’ve been meaning to ask.” I said hesitantly, “How am I going to get changed at the party?”
  1173. “Shoot,” Vicky replied looking over to my diaper bag, “I am –not- bringing that thing in with us.”
  1175. “Just change her in Chelsea’s boyfriend’s car. It’s a mess anyway, he shouldn’t care.” Yuri suggested.
  1177. That settled we now had to pretend to be asleep. It’s odd lying full clothed, in bed, in the dark waiting for a clock. After nine, each minute seemed to take forever. Finally trying to breathe slowly, I heard the door open. A quick check and it was shut. We’d agreed to wait another five minutes for her to get a good ways down the hall. Finally it was time.
  1179. Moving as silently as we could we moved through the dark. Yuri grimaced as the window creaked. Silence. We opened it and climbed onto the sill. My heart beat faster, more in knowing how much trouble we would be in, rather than the twelve foot drop off the ledge we climbed onto. Yuri went first, pushing off the wall hard and hitting the hill running. I went next, throwing the bag off to the hill and taking the leap. I landed on my ass with thud. I was glad the hill was soft and that I had a little padding down there. Vicky made it next and we were jogging as quietly as we could to the parking lot.
  1181. A girl waved at us as we got close and Yuri nodded that it was Chelsea. The engine was running, we climbed into the back seat with Yuri without anyone saying a word. The teenage boy in the front put the car in gear and we took off. It was like the getaway in a heist movie.
  1183. “Hey ladies.” Chelsea’s boyfriend said breaking the silence once we were safely away from St. Dorothy’s. His driving was far too fast as was safe, “You guys ready to have some fun?”
  1185. “Hell yeah!” Yuri piped up, Vicky and I still didn’t even know his name.
  1187. “So these are your roomies?” Chelsea asked craning her head to the back seat
  1189. “Yeah this is Vicious, and this is Baby” Yuri said pointing to us, then realizing she’d given my nickname, “sorry, her name’s Alice.”
  1191. “Kids,” The guy in the front said in disbelief hearing our nicknames.
  1193. “This is Mark.” Chelsea said pointing at her boyfriend.
  1195. “Pleasure to meet you.” Mark said, not taking his eyes off the road. At least he was concentrating. “Not to be rude, but what is that bag for?”
  1197. I blushed as I looked down at my diaper bag in my lap.
  1199. “Alice wears diapers.” Yuri said bluntly, “She can use your car to get changed right?”
  1201. “I don’t care if you’re careful with the seats.” Mark replied shrugging, “Bummer for you Alice.”
  1203. “Uhh, yeah…” I said, not at all wanting to go into that subject. Luckily they dropped it.
  1205. A few more streets, about a twenty minute drive from the school we pulled up in front of a house. Cars lined the street, heavy metal pumping loud enough that I was surprised that no one was complaining.
  1207. I stepped out of the car and into the night. There was a rush in everything. Fear and anticipation mixed all into one. I’d never been in public without Char or my parents before. It was liberating, sort of. I also felt a little alone and empty.
  1208. Chapter 7 - Party
  1209. The guy at the entrance let us in without question. Mark was charged the entry fee of $5. The house was closed off, but at least fifty people with red plastic cups filled the backyard. They weren’t that much older than us. Surprisingly Mark looked like he was one of the older ones. With the exception of maybe one or two boys though I think we were the youngest.
  1211. The backyard was Spartan but well taken care of. Boys in baggy clothes and girls wearing things even worse than Vicky talked and danced. People sat in chairs around a barbeque pit chatting, boys and girls mashed there faces against each other in secluding corners. I saw a boy slip his hand under a girl’s shirt and I quickly looked away. It had been rude enough to watch them kiss.
  1213. “Follow me,” Mark said walking over to a group of tables. Various bottles and a couple of kegs covered the card tables set up near the house. I looked at Vicky and she had the same look as that of deer caught in the headlights. Yuri grabbed something and took a big swig smiling.
  1215. “If you guys need us, we’ll be in the house. Knock and tell them you need Mark. Enjoy, and…” Mark paused, passing me a key. “If you wanna crash, feel free to use the car. Drive it and I’ll murder you.”
  1217. “How long do we have?” I asked
  1219. “Till five am, I plan to get ripped, and I’ll need a few hours to sleep it off.” He looked at his watch, “Chelsea make sure I stop drinking by midnight or you guys will be missing in the morning.” Chelsea nodded.
  1221. With that Mark just placed a couple of cups in our hands and walked off with Chelsea and Yuri into the house.
  1223. Vicky and I watched each other for a minute. I put the cup to my lips. It tasted like punch, but it stung as it went down your throat. It was like punch, only there was a little nasty aftertaste. Vicky took a swig of hers.
  1225. “What now?” I asked taking another small sip.
  1227. “You’re asking me?” She said looking around. I had no desire to dance in case someone notice the diaper, though I doubt with how plastered most of them seemed that they would notice.
  1229. We took a couple more swigs, and walked over to a stone bench against the far wall. As I walked I felt somehow lighter, a little dizzy. It was a pleasing feeling, and the punch started tasting a lot better.
  1231. We continued drinking a little more. Listening to the music and just hanging out. Somehow disconcerting loud music is more beautiful when your drinking. After about ten minutes we both went over and got another cup, returning to our spot after.
  1233. “Hey, do you feel that.” Vicky said taking a full gulp, swaying to the music instinctively. I did feel that, and it felt good. I took another swig and giggled.
  1235. “This is grrreeeatt.” I slurred a little. Visions of Tony the Tiger came to mind. I laughed for a good five seconds without bothering to tell Vicky why.
  1237. “Damn right.” Vicky added ignoring the chuckles. A guy sighed loudly as he thumped onto the bench we were sitting in front of. He looked a bit older than most of the guys here. In a practiced motion he whipped out a cigarette and lit it.
  1239. “Do you have an extra cigarette?” Vicky asked him smiling and slurring slightly. He scowled a little at the question and looked at the cups in our hands.
  1241. “How old are you guys?” He asked
  1243. “I’ll be eleven next week.” I said proudly, just feeling like saying it. Vicky glared at me, but I didn’t understand why at the time.
  1245. “Shit,” He sighed, “You too?” Vicky just nodded at his question “How much have you guys drunk?”
  1247. I held out my quarter full cup, “Almost two of these.”
  1249. “I’ll make you a deal, you two give me those cups, and don’t get another one and you can have some smokes.” He replied “You guys will be throwing up all night if you have any more. That’s almost 25%”
  1251. I handed him my cup, at the thought of getting sick. Vicky seemed torn. She looked at the cigarette in his mouth, and the cup in her hand. Finally she took a little swig and handed it to him. He poured what was left of the punch on the ground and put the cups under his bench. The he pulled out his pack again and handed us each a cigarette.
  1253. “You guys already smoke right?” He asked and we nodded. He seemed a little relieved at that.
  1255. “So what’s your name?” Vicky asked as she took a drag.
  1257. “Tom, and yours?” He asked us
  1259. “Vicky, and this is Alice,”
  1261. “Nice to meet you,” I said proffering my hand which he shook.
  1263. “Man, what’s the world coming too.” He said half to himself, “I thought it was bad enough this party is full of freshman, aren’t you guys still in elementary?”
  1265. “Yeah.” I said, not quite realizing how it mattered.
  1267. “You know, if kids drink too much you get a hold in your brain, literally. It doesn’t grow right.” Tom said, concerned. That scared me a little but Vicky just seemed offended.
  1269. “What about you?” Vicky asked “When did you start drinking?”
  1271. “I –don’t- drink.” He replied, “That doesn’t mean I can’t party.”
  1273. “Yet you’re sitting here talking to some kids.” Vicky said a little snootily, I didn’t know why she wanted to piss him off, he seemed like a nice guy. Vicky flopped down on the bench next to him.
  1275. “That is because I don’t want to be here.” He replied, “My little brother just had to come to this party, I just caught him drinking a second ago. Tried to drag him home, but he ran off. So now I’m waiting, hoping he comes back and I don’t have to explain to my mother why her other son is missing and probably drunk or worse.”
  1277. “Bummer,” I replied
  1279. “Yeah, fucking bummer. The little shit’s a loser anyway, shouldn’t have let him talk me into this.” He said lighting up another cigarette. “If you guys want another just ask. It’ll kill you, but at least it takes 60 years.”
  1281. Vicky did, I was still incredibly buzzed and disoriented from the combination of alcohol and nicotine. The world was spinning a little bit and I was little uncomfortable. I pondered if I was wet, but everything was a little numb and I couldn’t tell.
  1283. Vicky leaned against the wall and sighed. Tom just kept smoking, looking a little angry and impatient. He seemed like a nice put together person. I mainly watched, as drunk as I was. Vicky and Tom chatted a little, mainly about the difference between public and private school. That’s when the night begins to go a little fuzzy. Vicky got quiet for a few minutes. It’d been about ten minutes since Tom had taken our cups, and I wanted more. He’d made me promise for the cigarette though. Tom looked at Vicky with an odd look I didn’t understand. He sniffed the air.
  1285. “Did you just piss yourself?” I worried for a second that it was coming from me, until I saw the horrified look on Vicky’s face, she looked at the puddle on the seat between her legs.
  1287. “I don’t feel very good.” She said plainly as she lurched forward splattering the grass with vomit.
  1289. “Fuck me!” Tom said, smacking forehead. “Shit I knew it, I knew you guys were too small to handle two of those. Okay…okay.” He said, he looked around frantically for a second. “Right honey, we’re going inside.” He said placing a hand on Vicky’s back, she just nodded a little as she vomited a bit more. “You,” He said turning to me, “Are probably going to be like this in a minute.”
  1291. “What?” I said scared, looking a Vicky’s rather pitiful form.
  1293. “It’s alright, shoot,” He looked down at Vicky, “Can you walk?” He asked in a soft voice, with just shook her head as the tears streamed from her eyes. Tom sighed and picked her up easily, wincing slightly as she threw up a bit on his shirt. “follow me.”
  1295. We walked across the yard and Tom rapped on the door. A minute that seemed like an eternity passed. A grungy figure appeared.
  1297. “We need to occupy one of your restrooms for a while.” Tom said matter-of-factly,
  1299. “Do I know you?” The peeved looking kid asked,
  1301. “I’m Brad’s brother. You’re Chuck right. Look, I don’t care if he’s hiding in here, I just have to take care of these girls.”
  1303. “Dude, take em’ somewhere else, not my problem” the guy said starting to shut the door. Before he could close it Tom’s foot was in it. Tom’s demeanor changed dramatically.
  1304. “It will be your fucking problem if I call the cops and explain your party supplied liquor to ten year olds. Let me the fuck in.”
  1306. “Fuck you.” Chuck replied. Tom set Vicky down carefully against the wall. In an instant he moved he had Chuck by the collar and pulled him out the door.
  1308. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you right. Do I need to knock your fucking head off?” Tom asked. It was very frightening. It was like he was a different person. I shook a little as my tummy twisted a bit. Vicky just groaned where Tom had set her down.
  1310. “Oh shit.” He said suddenly, “You said Brad’s brother?”
  1312. “Yeah, the same. You do not fucking disrespect me.” Tom said, lifting him slightly from the floor. “Let me ask again, may I occupy one of your restrooms for awhile?”
  1314. “Shit, yeah. Sorry, Brad told me not to let you in. He said you wouldn’t get pissed.”
  1316. “I wouldn’t have if it weren’t for the girls.” He said, suddenly back to the guy we’d been talking too. He set Chuck down carefully. “I hate to force hospitality, but it’s an emergency.”
  1318. I was feeling pretty sick to my stomach now, Vicky was still leaning up against the wall throwing up on herself. Tom sighed, picked her up and we walked into the house. We followed Chuck up a flight of steps and into a bathroom.
  1320. “We may be in here an hour or two.” Tom added,
  1322. “It’s alright,” Chuck replied, though it was evident in his voice he was annoyed. Tom walked in and set Vicky down next the toilet.
  1324. “Hey, kid you listening.”
  1326. “Emm, yeeeahh.” Vicky said desperately,
  1328. “Okay, if you have to throw up the toilets next to you.” He looked at me, “You have to use the toilet?”
  1330. “I uhh,” I fidgeted nervously,
  1332. “You piss yourself too?” He asked half amused,
  1334. “No, I’m wearing a diaper.” I replied embarrassed.
  1336. “Well, that was well planned of you.” He said neutrally, “Gotta clean her up… Who did you two come here with?”
  1338. “Chelsea and Mark and Yuri” I replied, everything was spinning, it took a huge amount of willpower just to summon up their names. Vicky leaned over the toilet and dry heaved.
  1340. “Right I’ll be right back. Lock this door, no one comes in unless Vicky falls asleep or Mark or I come back. You two keep each other awake. No sleep and I fucking mean it.
  1342. Tom took off. I locked the door behind him.
  1344. “Vicky, we’re supposed to stay awa…” Suddenly my stomach lurched. “Move!!”
  1346. Vicky moved just in time as I had my first experience praying to the porcelain god.
  1348. “Oh god, this sucks Alice,” Vicky said, more coherently than she’d been for the last twenty minutes. “I think I’m feeling better.” She added though the rasp and pain in her voice said otherwise.
  1350. I couldn’t reply as I was busy emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl.
  1352. I heard a knock in the distance as my arms gripped the toilet bowl. Vicky managed to get over and open the door for Tom. I heard him come in but couldn’t look up.
  1354. “Bad news girls, they took off. Chuck said they were coming back soon. I guess they didn’t realize how fucked up kids can get in an hour or two. They went to Steven’s place, supposedly to get high. Fucking retards. How the hell did you kid get mixed up with Mark?”
  1356. “Our roommate’s girlfriend’s boyfriend.”
  1358. “Shit, Yuri’s your roommate?”
  1360. “You know Yuri?” Vicky asked, slowly coming back to her senses.
  1362. “Know of her, not many guys get two private school girls to have a threesome. He couldn’t help but brag. Mark’s not a bad guy, as guys go, but he had no business bringing you here and leaving. At least he left this.” Tom set down my diaper bag next to me. “I’ll leave for a sec while you…Alice you okay?”
  1364. “No” was all I was able to get out between heaving. Vicky pushed me a little to get over the bowl while she heaved a bit more herself.
  1366. “You two are so fucking lucky you ran into me.” Tom said suddenly angry as he closed the bathroom door. “Do you realize you could’ve been raped tonight? Half of these horny little freshman wouldn’t have given it a second thought. Damn, you came so close to ruining your lives. Fuck Mark, I am going to rip him a new one when I see him. Alice, Vicky, can you clean yourselves up?”
  1368. “No” was all I was able to get out between heaving. Vicky just laid flat on the floor in response.
  1370. “Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m going to clean you guys up as much as I can, grab that idiot brother of mine and take you two to my house. I’ll throw your clothes in the wash and drive you back by the time you have to be back at St. Dorothy’s. Now, if you want to stay here and wait for Mark it’s your call. I have a sister your age, so my mom will understand. It’s only eleven PM so hopefully they’ll still be up.”
  1372. “We’ll go with you” Vicky moaned, I tried to nod but my vote went with Vicky’s so I didn’t put much effort into it
  1374. Tom nodded, “Okay, shit- I don’t wanna mess my seat up, do you mind if you wear a diaper Vicky?” Vicky shook her head. Tom unzipped her jeans and whipped them off quickly with her panties, giving her a quick wipe and putting the diaper on her. It was relatively easy seeing as she was already lying on the floor. He tried to put her jeans back on, only to find they were too tight. Ignoring that he moved over to me, gently rubbing my back
  1376. “You think you can keep from throwing up for a few seconds? I nodded and he laid me back pushing my dress up and changing me just as quickly. That done he put the used wipes in the trash and Vicky’s pants in the diaper bag, slung it over his shoulder, and with a grunt picked each of us up. Carrying one of us in each arm he moved down the hall and kicked a door hard.
  1378. “Brad, are you done fucking her yet? We’ve gotta go.”
  1380. “Go away!” Came the response, terse and annoyed
  1382. “Okay,” Tom said sharply, “It was cute before, now I’m getting angry, I got two drunk little kids I’ve gotta take to our place, I’m leaving either way, and mom will find out where you are either way, but I won’t tell her the shit you pulled if you come along nicely.”
  1384. The door opened and a disgruntled boy came out. He handed me to Brad and they carried me down to the call.
  1386. “Why are they in diapers?” Brad asked
  1388. “The one you’re holding had them, and the one I’m holding pissed herself.”
  1390. “Playing good Samaritan again?” Brad asked him as we walked out the door and down the drive.
  1391. “If they knew who you really were they’d be scared of you.”
  1393. “Brad, I don’t have time for this crap. I am what I am. They’re Liz’s age, don’t you feel sorry for them?”
  1395. “Yeah, I’m sorry, I fucked up tonight.” Brad said, apologetically, “Okay?”
  1397. “Yeah, it’s cool bro, when we get home you go to bed. I’ll try and calm mom down.”
  1399. Tom and Brad set us in the back seat, handing each of us a brown paper bag to throw up in on the way if we had too. Honestly I was feeling a little better now, just really, really tired. The cool air coming from the windows was nice.
  1401. We pulled up in front of a nice little suburban house. I was too drunk and it was too dark to really describe it. Brad and Tom carried us to the door and he knocked.
  1403. “Hey Tom, Brad, back from the movies?” The woman I assume was their mother asked, then as she noticed us, “Oh my god, what happened?”
  1404. Chapter 8: Downhill
  1406. “It’s a long story.” Tom started walking inside and setting Vicky down on the couch. Brad set me down next to her and then took off. Tom continued “Before you start, I took Brad to a party. Yeah, I know, but he’s in high school now, if I don’t chaperone him it’ll be worse.”
  1408. “What about the girls?” Tom’s mother asked him looking at us with concern.
  1410. “Hi….I’m Liz.” A girl said looking at us with concern, “Who’re you guys.”
  1412. Indeed she was about our age. The difference between innocence and corruption became apparent as I looked into her eyes. I’d lost something tonight, though not as much as I could have.
  1414. “Hey Liz,” Tom said stopping his conversation with his mother, “Can they wear some of your clothes while we wash theirs? Just some nightshirts,”
  1416. “Okay,” Liz said and went back to her room, looking us over again before going back to her room.
  1418. “You girls should be ashamed of yourselves.” Tom’s mother said looking at us. “What would your mothers think if they saw you now? Tom, maybe you should just take them home. Let them deal with their punishment.
  1420. “No can do, they’re Dorothy’s girls.”
  1422. “Well that explains it,” Tom’s mom said shaking her head disapprovingly, “Maybe we should call the school.”
  1424. “Nah, I’m sure they learned something tonight, didn’t you two?” Tom asked
  1426. “Yes,” We both mumbled
  1428. Tom’s mother sighed, looked at the condition of us and sighed again, “Tom, you go put their clothes in the wash. I can assume why they’re wearing diapers, though why they had them on hand I don’t. I give them a bath and put them to bed. You can take them back early and they can sneak in the way they got out.”
  1430. “That’s what I figured. Thanks for helping mom, I just couldn’t leave them there.” Tom replied sadly. He came over pulled my dress over my head and taking Vicky’s shirt. “Can you guys walk?”
  1432. We nodded
  1434. “Then follow her.” Tom said pointing at his mother. With supreme effort I moved off the couch and followed Tom’s mother down the hall to the bathroom with Vicky behind me. Ending the night walking through a strange house in only a diaper was not how I planned it.
  1436. Tom’s mom was rather nice about it. They had a large bathroom with an oversized bathtub. She stripped the diapers off me and Vicky, then ran a bath and put us in it. She washed the gel out of our hair and scrubbed the vomit off us. It was really nice of her in retrospect, at the time I didn’t really think about it, I just let it happen.
  1438. I’d been in a bit of a dream state most of this time, but it was nice to be bathed again. Vicky didn’t seem to enjoy it as much but she was too tired and sick to argue. Liz came in and asked if she could help and her mother just told her to get the shirts and the diaper bag from the front room.
  1440. Tom’s mother helped me out of the tub and dried me off. Next she grabbed a diaper from the bag Liz brought and held it up between my legs, taping it on while I was standing up. She pulled the night shirt over my head. I sat on the bathroom floor in just a diaper and t-shirt while she did the same for Vicky.
  1442. “Liz honey,” She said as she diapered Vicky, “Consider these two if you ever think going to a party and drinking makes you cool.”
  1444. “Mom, geeze,” Liz whined
  1446. “No, listen, how old are you girls?”
  1448. “Eleven,” I said stretching the truth by a week
  1450. “See, a year younger than you.” Her mother replied, Liz just nodded. “Now, can you show them to the guestroom?”
  1452. We dragged ourselves off the floor and followed Liz down the hall to a room with a single bed. “Here you guys go,” She said pointing in the room, “Man you two are pretty lame, getting caught like this.” Liz couldn’t help but add as she shook her head distastefully.
  1454. “Fuck off,” Vicky grumbled as she walked into the room.
  1456. “Don’t worry about her.” I said holding my head in pain. “Thank you all so much. We made a big mistake.”
  1458. Liz gave me a sympathetic smile and I went in and laid down next to Vicky in the bed. The world turned black as I cuddled against her, at least we were both in the same boat. Everything quickly turned black as the sea of dreams rose up to drown me.
  1460. “Oh god,” was the first thing I heard from Vicky as I woke up. Blinding light hit my eyes and my head felt like it would explode. Everything was evil. It hurt to move, to breathe.
  1462. “Time to go, it’s five guys,” Tom said standing at the door and the light switch, “You can stay if you want, but then the school finds out.”
  1464. “We’re getting up,” Vicky said shoving me slightly to get me moving. “You clothes are clean so you can change out of those diapers now.” He chuckled a little at that.
  1465. “She can’t” Vicky said regarding me, pressing on her diaper slightly, giving a look of annoyance when she realized it was wet. “I can change her now I guess though, do you have her diaper bag?”
  1467. Tom dropped the bag in the room, “Right, you guys be ready in ten minutes and we’re off.”
  1469. Vicky, as hung over as she was, managed to change me. It was only the fourth time she’d done it, but she’d been the one I’d had handle it while Char was gone. Vicky went to the bathroom to clean herself up and then we were off.
  1471. We said almost nothing on the drive home. Tom was silent, and we were rather sick. I had never had a hangover before. I thanked him once and he answered with a noncommittal grunt. We pulled up in front of the school. No one officially got up until 7 so we probably had plenty of time.
  1473. “Right, here’s my phone number.” Tom said handing me a slip of paper. “I won’t tell you to never go to a party again, but I really don’t approve. Still I’d rather you drink somewhere while I’m around. So if you go out again call me, I’ll chaperone.”
  1475. “Thanks, there is no way we’ll be going out again.” I said sincerely, Vicky nodded in ascension.
  1477. “Glad to hear it.” Tom said nodding, he tore off down street and me and Vicky walked groggily back to the dorm. The doors aren’t lock to the main lobby so we just walked through the front door. Luckily the manager wasn’t there. Still too early probably. We walked up the flight of stairs and opened the door to our room.
  1479. “Thank god,” Yuri said sighing as we entered, “I was so worried,”
  1481. “You fucking ditched us!” Vicky said in a hiss so no one else would wake up. She grimaced at the pain of using emphasize in her voice.
  1483. “We just left to smoke out, we were back by midnight and we left Baby’s diaper bag and told Chuck and Brad where we were going.” Yuri said annoyed, “Did you guys fuck up?”
  1485. “Yeah,” I said sadly, “Vicky and I ended up throwing up for the better part of an hour,”
  1487. “No worries, almost everyone does the first time.” Yuri said shrugging
  1489. “No more for me” Vicky said waving her hand “One time was enough.”
  1491. “Everyone also says that the first morning after.” Yuri giggled, Vicky looked like she was about to rip out Yuri’s throat. Instead she decided she’d rather crash out. She chucked her clothes at thewall and passed out in her bunk in just her panties. I followed suit, but at least I bothered to get under the covers.
  1493. Every experience a person has shapes them. I thank god for the way everything turned out, because when you look at it realistically it could have been a lot worse. Something changed a little bit then, a new way of looking at life. Drinking, but also Tom. The guy seemed so nice, except when he dealt with Chuck. Chuck was obviously scared, and Brad’s comment made me wonder about why people were scared of Tom. Something dark was dwelling beneath what appeared to be one of the very few, genuinely nice people I’d meet since I came to St. Dorothy’s. Either way he saved me and Vicky that night. Maybe I should give Char his number… They might get along. That would entail telling Char about what happened though, which is not something I planned to do.
  1495. It brought me and Vicky a lot closer though. I thought our relationship was strong before, but afterwards it was confirmed we were best friends. Hard experiences make strong bonds, and we had seen each other at our most vulnerable and gotten through it together.
  1497. Even after Char came back Vicky said she’d change me if Char was busy. Char was happy to hear it because it meant we didn’t have to be attached at the hip. Now that I had Vicky I didn’t mind Char not being around as much. Oh, Char still changed me most of the time, and helped me dress when I asked, but she didn’t have to make plans around where I was going to be.
  1499. My birthday came the week after the party. It was a little disappointing compared to what I got at home but it was still fun. We had a cake and hung out all night in the room. After the cake everyone brought out presents. Yuri bought me a dildo cause’ she’s a dirty fucking pervert and thought it would be funny. I was gonna throw it away until Char said I might want to hold onto it.
  1501. “It’s actually decent,” She said appraising it, “Half the senior high girls have one, why bother through the embarrassment of buying it in four years.”
  1503. So I chucked it in the back of the closet in the hopes that they were lying and that girls never really used those things. Char bought me a CD I’d wanted but hadn’t been able to get off campus to buy. Vicky got me a pack of cigarettes. It was really touching, as it’d been the first thing we really shared together. I would have to ration them wisely and split them with her, cause’ its no fun smoking alone. Char didn’t approve, but she understood. We sat up all night and played cards, listened to music and had a smoke. It was good times. I almost didn’t entirely hate this place. Against my deepest fears, it was starting to feel like home. Still, as much as I cared for Vicky I was getting out of here as soon as my year was up. Daddy promised me.
  1505. The next day seemed focused on ruining anything I’d gained so far at St. Dorothy’s. Midterm counseling, I hadn’t been informed what it was about, but it seemed like it wasn’t going to be good as I walked into a sterile office with a rather stern, sharp elderly lady sitting behind a desk.
  1507. “Have a seat Ms. Woodren.” She said looking over a file. I sat down in the seat across from her. She pulled out a file, looked at it, looked at me, and looked at it again. “Well, not much progress is there?”
  1509. “What?” I asked, it was an inquisition, and I had no idea what was being investigated.
  1511. “Your math scores are low. Reasonable for a public school student at your age, but we are not a public school. We have higher standards. You need to pull up you test scores ten points by the end of the term.”
  1513. “Or…” I asked
  1515. “DON’T ‘or’ me.” She said quickly, “Just say ‘yes ma’am’, but if you must know- there are punishments. Janitorial duties can be arranged, detention can be given, privileges taken away.”
  1517. “Sorry,” I said, my face burning. This woman could make you feel like you were guilty, even when you knew you hadn’t done anything
  1519. “Don’t be sorry, score ten points higher by the end of the term.” She replied, “Item two, I see you’re still in diapers, aren’t you supposed to be fixing that?”
  1521. “I uhh,” I replied flustered. Char just hadn’t pushed it so I’d forgotten it was an issue, “I take showers on my own now, and Char doesn’t have to help me dress. I can tie my own shoes.”
  1523. “Well, don’t you think that’s rather mediocre for an eleven year old.”
  1525. “It’s improvement” I said hopefully
  1527. “Not on the issue were discussing. You, young lady, need to be using the toilet. Your father paid a lot of money to send you here, and we’re going to get this handled.”
  1529. “But I…”
  1531. “No buts, and if” she looked at the file, “Char isn’t encouraging you maybe we’ll need to change your room.”
  1533. I gasped in horror and she smiled. She knew the punishment now, I was fucked royally.
  1535. “Right, potty trained by,” she looked at the calendar, “The end of January, with no accidents for the last week. There will be no regressing after either, or you can consider your room changed.”
  1537. “Please, what if I can’t….” I begged. That meant I’d even have to be concentrating on it over Christmas Vacation which was a little over a month away.
  1539. “I’m sure if you start now you’ll be fine. To insure it I took the liberty of placing an order for these.” She produced a large box from behind the desk and opened it. “Your father paid for them of course, at our suggestion.”
  1541. Inside were training pants. The nasty vinyl over thin cotton kind. The kind that feels wet and icky when you pee in them. She smiled again at the despair in my face.
  1543. “A new order of diapers was due today, so I assume you’re almost out. You won’t get anymore, this is it Ms. Woodren.”
  1545. I cared the box by to my dorm room filled with bitterness. The was absolutely cruel but completely effective. That damn counselor held all the cards and she knew it. I needed a smoke. I hoped Vicky was there or I’d have to wait for later.
  1547. I opened the door to find Vicky and Char chatting. I tossed the box onto my bed and went about moving the dresser.
  1549. “Damn that bad of a meeting huh?” Vicky said sympathetically
  1551. “Those” I said pointing to the offensive box, “Are training pants. If I don’t learn, they’ll switch my room assignment.”
  1553. “Bummer…” Vicky said sympathetically. She and Char knew how much diapers meant to me. They were the last clear vestige of what I had been before I came here.
  1555. “I guess you lost to them” Char said sadly, “We all do eventually. It can be for the better. They got me to kick drugs. I can never thank them enough for that.”
  1557. “What did they do to you Vicky?” I asked, wanting more important
  1559. “Never ask me about that.” Vicky said sadly, “I’ll tell you someday…maybe. Never ask.”
  1561. I just nodded, though it had me worried. Vicky never held anything back from me.
  1563. We had our smoke and I felt a little better. Char changed me into one of my last five diapers. I decided I’d save the last four for special occasions. I told Char, and we agreed that she’d put me in the training pants next changing.
  1565. I became depressed as I realized I was using that diaper about two hours later. I knew what it meant. Char noticed and offered to change me. I said I wanted to enjoy it a little longer. She gave me an ‘eww’ look, but didn’t argue. I couldn’t really enjoy it with Char waiting for me to want to be changed, so after a few minutes I let her change me.
  1567. Then it was off with the diaper, a wipe, a little powder and she stood me up. I picked foot and she helped me put the damn thing on. The elastic bit a little into my side. The tape method is so much better.
  1569. “Should we tell you if we think you have to go?” Vicky asked, trying not to offend me.
  1571. “Yeah, I hate peeing in these. Daddy made my nanny try them on me once. I purposely wet them for two weeks until they gave up. They’re more of a hassle to clean. I hate the feeling when they’re wet.
  1573. “I guess that’s the point,” Char said shrugging. I nodded unhappily.
  1575. I tugged at my training panties a little, trying to make them me comfortable, but to no avail. They were less bulky than the diapers, so almost unnoticeable under my uniform. They crinkled a little less too. All of these things I had grown comfortable with and liked. Ripped away by some adult who thought they knew better. But I had no power, and they could take what little that preserved my sanity away from me.
  1577. Chapter 9: Training
  1578. I adjusted my backpack as we headed for class. I was eleven now, the first semester was half over and I was pretty used to life at St. Dorothy’s. This was going to be my first day wearing training panties to class. I’d wet them every time I’d peed last night. It was nasty. I could tell Char didn’t like the cleanup process anymore than I did, since the training panties didn’t absorb all the pee. Still, I thought I’d felt something before I’d gone the last time, and I had high hopes I’d get it down soon. Not that I really wanted to be in panties, but it would be better than these damn things.
  1580. Things in class had been pretty nice for the last couple weeks, since I had beaten down Gina, the jokes and nasty comments had practically stopped. With the training panty thing, and running to the bathroom I assumed the jokes might start up again. Especially since, whether they guessed it or not, I’d never actually admitted the diapers were a choice thing. Vicky I’d told early on when she asked how I could stand Char changing me, instead of just doing it myself. Yuri I think just knew from the beginning, how I had no clue. I was now mostly ignored by my classmates now, which was fine by me, because I had Vicky and they pretty much ignored her too.
  1582. I felt a little sorry for Vicky in that respect. She wasn’t really friends with any of the first years, mainly because, besides me, she felt they were petty and ridiculous. Her relationship was strained with her friends from the previous year because she’d been held back. It’d be even worse next year when they went to the junior high dorms. I think she sensed this because she spent most of her time with me instead of trying to keep a dying thing going.
  1584. I pulled the elastic around my leg, the stupid training panties were biting into the junction of my thigh and body. Disposables were somehow softer in that area. I was feeling pretty moody. I think it was mostly that I didn’t want to be here, I didn’t want to be wearing trainers, and I hadn’t slept well last night.
  1586. We took our seats and I sighed as Ms. Jensen came in and started our history lecture. At least I liked the first class somewhat. It was pretty interesting, we delved into different things than public schools, or even my private tutoring. I liked it enough that I had come in second in my class on history scores for midterms, of course plus points weren’t discussed in midterm counseling.
  1588. Today was a little boring, I knew the causes of the revolution quite well, but at least she went into the British side of it a little bit, as well as the French intervention. It was less covered material. That’s when I felt it, a little twinge in my, well between my legs. It was an odd feeling, and suddenly I considered that it probably meant I had to pee. If I’d really been engrossed in the lecture I probably wouldn’t have even noticed. I raised my hand.
  1590. “Yes Alice?” Ms Jensen asked stopping for a moment
  1592. “I need to use the restroom.” I said squeezing my legs together. The silence that fell over the room was tangible.
  1594. “Are you serious?” She asked, a reasonable question.
  1596. “Yes,” I replied, squeezing my legs, it wasn’t going to hold much longer.
  1598. “Well, of course then.” Ms. Jensen replied.
  1600. I jumped out of my chair and walked stiffly to the door. The minute I got outside I started running, my hand holding myself between my legs. I heard a subdued giggle begin as my running began, but that was to be expected. I couldn’t blame them.
  1602. I was hoping from foot to foot desperately as I reached the restroom. I flung open the first stall door I came too. I bit my lip, and still hopping, I struggled to pull down the trainers. I could make it. I COULD MAKE IT! I told myself sharply. Suddenly the trainers were around my ankles and I thumped onto the bowl as a stream of piss started. I sighed in relief. I’d made it, I didn’t have to feel the damn nasty wetness of the trainers.
  1604. Feeling relieved and a little proud of that accomplishment I walked back to the class. I walked through the door and the lecture had restarted. A girl I didn’t really know piped up.
  1606. “Did you make it?” She asked trying to suppress a laugh. I nodded embarrassed and clapping mixed with laughter erupted. I blushed from ear to ear as I sat back down in my seat. I should’ve expected as much. At least it didn’t hold malice, it just amused them that ‘Baby’ had managed to make it to the potty.
  1608. A few girls walked over to me and Vicky at lunch. We were hanging in our usual spot, but in the little over a month we’d been eating together we’d never been bothered or approached.
  1610. “So Baby,” The girl asked, pleasantly, “What happened? We thought you had to use diapers.”
  1612. I considered my answer for a moment. It didn’t matter anymore, might as well tell them the truth. Besides with me and Vicious together no one of them had the courage to pick a fight again.
  1614. “I never –had- too.” I replied between bites, “I just wanted too. My midterm counselor said if I didn’t potty train she was switching my room assignment. So I’m training.” I didn’t try and hide the bitterness that flowed naturally to my voice.
  1616. “So, all the time everyone was teasing you, you could have just stopped wearing diapers?” Another girl asked
  1618. “Sure, but I didn’t want too.” I replied shrugging and continuing my sandwich.
  1620. The three girls stared at me in disbelief, finally the first one began again. “You took all of that just cause’ you liked diapers?”
  1622. “Yeah, what about it?” I answered
  1624. “Nothing,” She said, obviously worried she’d offended me. “I mean, just dang. You’re a lot tougher than anyone thought.”
  1626. “Yeah, to think you were doing it cause’ you wanted too.” Her friend added, “Weird, but I guess if you wanted too piss off you parents it would work.”
  1628. “It wasn’t to piss them off,” I responded, “Though it kinda turned out that way.”
  1630. The girls nodded, misunderstanding slightly, but that was okay with me. It would certainly change the way they looked at me a bit. Vicky just sat amused through the discussion. The girls said good bye, and took off. Presumably to explain to everyone what I had just told them. It was better than rumors I suppose.
  1632. “Hey, Alice,” Vicky said as I began my lunch again
  1634. “Yeah?”
  1636. “Do you have to go?” She asked
  1638. I looked down and saw my legs naturally squeezing themselves together “Thanks Vicious!” I said as I dropped my sandwich and tore off towards the bathroom. At least I was getting some exercise.
  1640. The rest of the day proceeded pretty much as normal. I wet my training panties, much to my dismay, during fifth period. I’d been really concentrating since it was science. I had to keep my score up there, though at least the counselor hadn’t come down on me about like she had math. I went to Ms. Sanders to get cleaned up. She’d been provided with training panties for me as well, and gave me a sad look of support when I explained how much I hated them.
  1642. Vicky and I headed back to the dorms and I was rather pleased with myself. I’d made it two out of three times on my first full day in training panties. I think my body was getting into gear just because it hated the feeling of being wet. Sometimes I didn’t notice, but I was definitely getting signals when I had to go. I’d never had that before. Once in a while when I was wearing diapers, I would notice I was holding it and let go, but the vast majority of the time when I checked on my diaper I realized I had already wet it. As I was thinking about this my tummy rumbled and I started to squat.
  1644. “Hey,” Vicky said waving her hand in my face, “Don’t you want to use the toilet for that?”
  1646. Shit! I realized, coming out of my crouching stance. I’d completely forgotten, I had to use the potty for this too. I wasn’t incredibly hard to hold the poop as we walked back to the dorms. I went to the bathroom while Vicky headed back to our room. I sat on the toilet grunting for a good ten minutes. Nothing happened but I knew I had to go. It was beginning to hurt but no matter how I tried it wasn’t cooperating.
  1648. “What’s up for today?” Vicky said as I returned to the room.
  1650. “I dunno, I couldn’t go though.”
  1652. “That sucks,” She grimaced, “You constipated?”
  1654. “I don’t think so, my body just didn’t want to poop without a diaper.” My stomach growled and I clutched it, “It’s starting to hurt.”
  1656. “You want a diaper?” Vicky suggested
  1658. “I wanted to save them…” I said sadly, but it was really tempting, “Okay, just cause’ its hurting.”
  1660. I slipped off the training panties and laid down on the bed. Vicky grabbed my almost empty diaper bag and brought it out. I hiked my skirt up around my waist and Vicky dashed a little powder onto to me.
  1662. I lifted up my hips and she placed the diaper under me. I felt so much better just having it under me. The smell, the cushioning of the diaper. Just a day and it felt like a week. Life sucked without diapers. Vicky pulled it together and taped it up.
  1664. “There you go.”
  1666. “Thanks Vicious,” I said
  1668. “Good girl.” She replied smiling as she patted me on the head.
  1670. I giggled a little at her treating me like that. I was the only one she was nice too, it made me feel special. She respected Char and was decent to Yuri, being kind was something I only saw her do with me. And only when no one else was within earshot, I understood that, she had a reputation to uphold.
  1672. Happily diapered, and aware of the very pressing need I stood up and squatted. I grunted slightly as I pushed the load into my diaper. It came out remarkably easy considering how much trouble I’d been having when I tried to use the toilet. I filled the diaper good and sighed as I finally finished.
  1674. “Feel better?” Vicky said trying not to laugh. It was a little embarrassing having people watch you crap yourself, but you get used to it when you have roommates. I was too lazy to walk all the way to the bathroom to do my business, besides, if you have to stop what you’re doing you’re wasting half the benefit of diapers.
  1676. “Yeah, that was good.” I replied satisfied
  1678. “You stink.” She replied wrinkling her nose.
  1679. “I’m sure your’s smells like roses.” I replied haughtily
  1681. “Yeah, but I don’t like sitting in mine until Char catches me.”
  1683. I blushed deeply, I couldn’t believe she noticed I didn’t like getting changed right away. I thought I’d been pretty careful when everyone was around. “You knew?”
  1685. “Oh come on, you suddenly disappear or wait for Char to leave when you crap yourself. I figured it was to buy time. I don’t care, it’s just a part of who you are. Doesn’t keep me from teasing you though. You are such a paradox Alice.”
  1687. “Paradox?” I asked, not able to remember where I’d heard the word.
  1689. “Remember in extra-credit vocabulary questions.” Vicky said, “A truth that seems contradictory at first. You’re more mature than so many of the girls our age, but then you poop in diapers. It’s funny when you think about it.”
  1691. “You think I’m more mature than our classmates?” I asked in disbelief
  1693. “Well, you’re not petty like they are. You stay above the name calling, and even the fighting most of the time. Most kids our age haven’t been to a party.” She finished conspiratorially.
  1695. “I think the party thing was rather immature of us.” I answered
  1697. “That’s what make you mature in your own way. Besides, you’re the only kid I know who doesn’t want to grow up. Adults always say value your childhood, and you do, so maybe you know something I don’t. Cause’ I can’t wait to grow up, and have control of life.”
  1699. “Who cares about control?” I asked, “I just want to be happy.”
  1701. “But if you had control no one could stop you from wearing diapers, and you could make someone change you.”
  1703. “It wouldn’t be the same.” I answered, but I didn’t know how to explain it.
  1705. I also had a hard time explaining to Char why I was wearing a messy diaper when she walked in. Char was obviously hoping to avoid dirty diapers for a day, and was a little disappointed in me for getting it all squished over my butt. Heck though, it felt better that way. Ten wipes and a pair of training panties later I was forced to focus on the toilet again.
  1707. Training wasn’t particularly fun, but I got used to it. The worst was the first day when I was out of diapers and had to poop. I was practically crying on the toilet, it hurt so bad and I thought I’d never be able to go without a diaper. Finally Char got me some ex-lax and I was finally able to go a little later. I needed laxatives the first couple of days without the diaper, but after I got used to crapping without the resistance of a diaper my body started cooperating.
  1709. My classmates, as embarrassing as it was helped me along a little bit. Heather, a girl I didn’t really know, but had talked to me the day before started it. It was during math class, I was trying to concentrate, and as a result I was ignoring my increasing need to relieve myself. I guess she noticed because she sat one behind me to the right. The way she decided to help me though was rather embarrassing. I guess it was kind of obvious though, with my squeezing my legs together with my free hand holding myself.
  1711. “Yes Heather.” Ms Nguyen asked holding the lecture.
  1713. “I think Baby has to go potty, she’s holding herself pretty bad.” Heather announced.
  1715. I gulped, realizing it was true.
  1717. “Why don’t you use the toilet Alice.” Ms. Nguyen suggested
  1719. I nodded standing up, unfortunately it was already a little late. In this instance I’d have rather she just let me have an accident, at least then everyone wouldn’t have their eyes on me while I did it.
  1721. The minute I stood I was forced the hold myself for dear life. I looked at the door frantically.
  1723. “I can’t make it.” I sighed bitterly, as my bladder released itself. The eyes of the whole class were on me as I peed myself. Well, I guess she was trying to help, and this was my own fault.
  1725. “Do you need to get cleaned up Alice?” Ms. Nguyen asked, as the students chuckled around me
  1727. “Thanks Ms. Nguyen.” I replied, turning to Heather, “Could you warn me earlier next time?”
  1729. Heather stopped giggling to nod, “Sure Baby, I will.”
  1731. That sounded serious. After that it was half a joke, and half helpful that classmates would remind me to use the toilet if I was obviously holding it. It got annoying, but to be honest it was better than wet training panties. The worst thing was the skeptical looks if I tried to lie. I couldn’t get away with it. A couple days later we we’re working in group projects when it came up. I was having a real good time, and I didn’t have to go –that- bad.
  1733. “Baby, you should go potty,” Claire said as we were studying
  1735. “I don’t have too.” I lied squeezing my legs a little more.
  1737. “Sure you don’t” Vicky sighed, “You’d be dancing if you were standing up.”
  1739. “I can hold it.” I said annoyed, we just had to get the next three questions done and Ms. Jensen might let us out early.
  1741. “You’re gonna have an accident.” Claire sighed, Vicky nodded
  1743. “I am not!” I said annoyed, “Geeze,” I absently put my hand down to hold myself through the plastic panties
  1745. “See, you’re holding yourself.” Heather added. Great now my whole group was on it.
  1747. “So, I’ll go when we’re done.” I said wincing a little as I had to put extra concentration into it.
  1749. We continued doing the next two questions when my bladder tightened a little. I looked around at my other group members, then I gripped harder to hold myself
  1751. We continued doing the next two questions when my bladder tightened a little. I looked around at my other group members, they were engrossed in study. I considered going potty, but I probably wouldn’t make it, I realized annoyed. If I made a scene out of it, they’d notice for sure, and I’d look like a fool.
  1753. Quietly, without much movement I slowly released my bladder and filled my training panties. It was icky and wet, but what was I gonna do. I concentrated on the last problem. Finally we were done and were released.
  1755. “Shouldn’t you go potty now?” Heather asked as we started to walk out the room.
  1757. “No, she wet herself already,” Claire replied
  1759. “No I didn’t.” I replied annoyed. The wet training panties were embarrassing enough. They didn’t need to know about it.
  1761. “Don’t lie.” Vicky said in a friendly voice, tapping me on the head. She was trying to keep it light. “Come on, you suddenly go stiff and then stop holding yourself. It’s obvious.”
  1763. “I didn’t pee myself.” I said frustrated.
  1765. “Really? let me check you then?” Vicky said, calling my bluff. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed, I’ve changed you enough.
  1767. “Fine! I had an accident okay!” I said getting angry, “You guys are mean.”
  1769. “Don’t get pissed Baby,” Heather replied, “We’re just helping you.”
  1771. “Yeah, come on” Vicky replied. “They weren’t even making fun of you, they just reminded you to go potty. You wanted to be reminded right?”
  1773. I sighed and took a deep breath. They were absolutely right
  1775. “Sorry, I was out of line there. I know I asked you guys to help, I was just too into the project. I’ll listen next time.” They just smiled, and Vicky nodded approvingly, “I’m going to get changed, see you at the normal place Vicky?”
  1776. Vicky nodded and I went to Ms. Sanders to get changed. Lunch could be more interesting now, even though we were our own clique, random groups would join us for lunch occasionally. Instead of being a target I was more of a mild amusement for the class. I think it was because they thought that deep down I was stronger than them, even if I didn’t want it to be the truth, I think it was. Also, because they were kind of watching me grow up. Slowly but surely I was getting potty training, and Christmas vacation was fast approaching.
  1777. Chapter 10:
  1778. “Daddy!” I shrieked running over to meet him. Vicky just groaned at my completely pathetic display of affection and Char tried to keep from laughing. It was the Friday before Christmas break and Daddy had come to take me home until the spring semester started.
  1780. Vicky was staying here, although she didn’t want to, or wasn’t allowed to go home for Christmas. Char was going home, but only for two days directly before and after, the rest of the time she wanted to hang out in the dorms with her friends. About 4 out of 5 kids went home for break overall, but in the elementary dorms it was more like 9 out of 10. It would be pretty empty around here after everyone left. The adults who stayed to watch the dorms lived locally, so they could go home for Christmas without leaving the dorms unattended. I’d asked Vicky why she didn’t want to go home, and she just mumbled something nasty about her parents.
  1782. I was in high spirits as we drove down the freeway home. Daddy asked me all about the school and what I thought of it. I told him all the bad stuff about the beginning of the year. The kids making fun of me, and the woman who was threatening to change my room.
  1784. “Surely there’s some good stuff, right?” He asked
  1786. “Well, Char and Vicky are really nice. Vicky’s my best friend. I dunno, I guess the kids in class aren’t really mean to me anymore.”
  1788. “Well, that’s an improvement. I saw your scores honey, and I must say, I’m really impressed. I think you’re doing great.”
  1790. “Uhh daddy, can we stop.” I asked as I saw a gas station coming up
  1792. “Sure, what’s up?”
  1794. “I have to go potty.” I replied embarrassed, he nodded and pulled off the freeway looking a little too proud for my taste. I used the restroom and we took off for the last stretch before home.
  1796. Mom and Rosa gave me a bunch of hugs when we walked in. The whole house was done up for Christmas, it was really festive. I was annoyed, but I already missed Vicky and Char a little. I knew that I liked them, but I didn’t want to miss them. I wanted to be happy- and free to be home, not thinking about how they were doing. Lucy came over a little after I came back, to see me since it had been such a long time. She’d missed me a lot apparently.
  1798. I felt bad about that. I’d gone through so much I’d barely thought about her. It was awkward. She wanted to play some video games, which we did. It was odd being back in my room, playing video games again. I was used to playing cards, studying and just talking now. The games seemed kind of empty, Lucy and I were playing next to each other, not really with each other.
  1800. “Hey, Lucy, want to walk to the park?” I asked hesitantly, at least it was an excuse to get me out of the house. I don’t know why, but I didn’t really feel at home here. I didn’t feel at home at St. Dorothy’s either though, I was being to feel pretty empty. I suddenly realized I wanted a smoke.
  1802. “Sure, okay.” She replied surprised. When we had hung out often she had made attempts to get me out of the house, it usually only worked once every couple of weeks. Things were different now though, and it was me suggesting it.
  1804. We walked out down to the park, stopping in front of the kids’ area. It was a cold December, and the early afternoon so there weren’t any adults or little kids there, just a couple of kids about our age. I looked around again just to make sure there weren’t any adults.
  1806. “What do you want to play on?” Lucy asked looking around
  1808. “Lucy, if I show you a secret, do you absolutely promise to keep it for me, no matter what?” I asked innocently. Lucy nodded very seriously. We’d been best friends for a while so I was sure she meant it. With that I sat on the park bench and pulled out my pack of cigarettes. I had about ten left, I’d taken out to for Vicky and given them to her for Christmas. She said she was working on getting another pack, but that I shouldn’t count on it just yet. I probably wouldn’t have wasted one here but the change in scene was stressing me out.
  1810. I put the cigarette in my mouth and lit up, Lucy staring in horror.
  1812. “Alice, what are you doing?” She asked amazed
  1814. “Smoking, why?” I asked, “You said you’d keep a secret. Hey, you want one?” Lucy shook her head furiously. I knew that would be the answer, of course. If she had wanted one, I’d have been glad to share though.
  1816. “Smoking is bad for you.” Lucy said, more than a little upset.
  1818. “Yeah, but Daddy does it, so it can’t be that bad. Besides, it feels really good.”
  1820. “Really?” She asked surprised, apparently no one told kids the benefits to it.
  1822. “Sure, why else would I do it?” I took another long drag and Lucy just watched with fear and interest. I finished my cigarette finally and we went over to the play equipment and joined a group of kids playing tag.
  1824. It was both fun and lame at the same time. Kids at St. Dorothy’s just didn’t –play- that much. Most were obsessed with reputation and image, so acting like a kid wasn’t in them. I just didn’t have anyone to play with, and wasn’t going to make waves by trying. Besides, playing cards and dice could be a lot of fun. More actual talking happened at least. The art of conversation is lost on youth.
  1826. I felt a pang that was becoming familiar and looked over to Lucy
  1828. “What’s up?” She asked, running over to safe,
  1830. “Nothing, I just have to go to the bathroom, where is it?”
  1832. Lucy showed me over to the public restrooms where I was assaulted by a stench unhuman. Thanks to my previously diapered condition I’d never had the misfortune of using the things until recently. I looked into the first stall, where someone apparently forgot to flush and decided I would not be going here. The stalls in the gas station restroom had been nasty but this was completely disgusting.
  1834. “Umm, lets’ just go home.”
  1836. “Don’t you have to go though?” Lucy asked concerned
  1838. “I can hold it…I think.” I said. I’d said that before. It usually didn’t turn out well.
  1840. Lucy just nodded and we started home. I flexed my hand as we walked down the block. The impulse to grab my crotch in public would have to be ignored. Lucy noticed my condition and gave me ample sympathy, unfortunately that didn’t keep my bladder from spasming.
  1842. I lost it only a corner from my house. The distinct uncomfortable wet sensation feeling filled my training panties and my face grew hot. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t have to stop to do it. Lucy stared at me the whole time.
  1844. “Did you?” She started, I cut her off
  1846. “What do you think?” I replied tersely, a hint of a growl in my voice.
  1848. “When did you become so mean.” Lucy asked shocked. It was true though, I’d never been anything but nice when I had lived at home. At St. Dorothy’s you had to have at least a little assertiveness or no one would even listen to you.
  1850. “What?” I replied surprised, trying to shake the annoyed tone from my voice. It was just a natural reaction now.
  1852. “You just… you’re cold now. It’s like I don’t quite know you. What else did you do at St. Dorothy’s?”
  1854. “I did bad stuff Lucy,” I said sadly, “I guess I grew up a little, look we’re still friends right?”
  1856. “I thought so.” She replied, “You’re a bad girl now aren’t you,”
  1858. I sighed, looking up and down, “Not compared to the girls there, but I guess compared to you.”
  1860. “That’s sad.” Lucy said
  1862. “Look, I’m going to go home and get cleaned up. Let’s try this again before I go back, okay?”
  1864. “Sure, be careful Alice.”
  1866. “I will, look don’t tell either of our parents about what I told you. You promised.”
  1868. “I know, it’s not drugs or anything. Still…Okay, I promised. Just let me know if you need help.”
  1870. “Okay,” I said shaking her hand on it. Of course I knew there was nothing in my new world she could help me with, but it would’ve hurt her to hear that. She was still a child, and I envied her.
  1871. I arrived home with a sigh. I had to tell Daddy I had an accident, but he understood. It was a couple of blocks from the park, and he wouldn’t have used a public restroom stall either. Or at least he said that to comfort me. Mom said she’d help me get cleaned up but I told her I could take care of it myself. Mainly because I had a pack of cigarettes in my pocket.
  1873. Christmas came with a bang. Daddy had a Christmas work party that he took me to with some of his associates. He was so proud as he presented me around. I was incredibly scared the whole time because he’d asked me to wear panties. I agreed, I only had maybe an accident every other day, but that was because I wasn’t concentrating. Still, with the protection taken away, I was on the potty every thirty minutes just in case.
  1875. Christmas morning was different. Instead of toys I got clothes. That was my request, I was tired of the other kids picking on my after school wardrobe. We’d had a little tiff about some of the articles, but I assured him they were more conservative than what the other kids wore. He finally gave into the bambi-eyes and I had a couple of short skirts and skin tight pants. Mom made me promise to wear an undershirt under a couple of the shirts and I agreed. Whether that happened in practice remained to be seen.
  1877. I also got a laptop, supposedly for school, but dad also bought a few games for it. He said it was because I was especially good this year, training and all. It was actually a little embarrassing when he brought it up. We went out to a nice dinner, and hung around and talked.
  1879. “Alice is so much more grown up.” Mom said happily
  1881. “Mom, geeze.” I replied
  1883. “Yes, we’re very proud of you.” Dad said picking up his wine glass. It looked pleasant tasting. I tried to shake that thought from my head after my last experience with drinking. It had been fun at first though. “She’s more mature as well.”
  1885. “You guys act like I was a baby before you sent me.” I said a little annoyed. They simply stared at me with that expression that means they’d laugh at that later when they were alone. I sighed, I knew they loved me but sometimes they weren’t very sensitive.
  1887. The week flew by with odd monotony. I missed Vicky and Char. I had no one to talk too. Daddy and mom talked to me like I was a child. All my friends out here were kids. It was frustrating. I didn’t want to go back though. I liked sleeping in my bed. Having my days free again. Rosa took me to the zoo and the arcade and it was a lot of fun. I just would’ve liked it better with Char or Vicky. At school I was homesick. At home I was lonely. It wasn’t fair.
  1888. Lucy came by again, and we’d played like we used too. I just had to pretend the last three months hadn’t happened in order to tolerate her. She was a good friend but we were at really different places in our lives now.
  1890. “Are you ready?” Daddy said as I finished packing. I sighed as I picked up the suitcase with my new laptop and clothes
  1892. “I guess. Can’t I stay Daddy?” I pleading, “I’m doing a lot better.”
  1894. “Because of St. Dorothy’s” He said, cutting off what would’ve been a long diatribe on personal virtue and self control. Or maybe just plain begging, regardless he made it abundantly clear that neither would have an affected him.
  1896. I asked him not to see me to my room. The other kids didn’t and it would just be embarrassing. I gave him a hug at his request. I really wanted to hug him, but couldn’t bring myself to do it until he asked. He looked a little sad at the reluctance of my embrace, but this was what he wanted, wasn’t it? The whole growing up thing, looking strong in front of your peers.
  1898. I walked into the dorm room tired, throwing my baggage on my bunk as Vicky gave me a smile and a wave.
  1900. “You’re back.” Vicky said, stating the obvious as I opened my suitcase on my bed, “What kind of loot did you get?”
  1902. “This” I said grinning pulling out the laptop. Vicky just nodded in admiration.
  1904. “Badass, my parents refused to get me one.” Vicky said “Didn’t deserve it my dad said, but hes an asshole, so what you gonna do right?”
  1906. “Wow, that’s mean.” I said, trying to empathize. Vicky didn’t respond. Apparently she’d didn’t like talking about her parents. In fact, that was the first time I remembered her mention them. Well, I guess it made sense since she didn’t go home for Christmas. “So, umm, what’s up with you?”
  1908. “Not a lot,” She replied, “Hanging around the dorms. Char’s said she’d take me to this thing next week for my birthday.” She handed me a flyer. Orion Schizm. Apparently it was a party of some sort, going on in town next Friday.
  1910. “What is it?”
  1912. “It’s a rave.” Vicky said, more than a little excited, “I went to one with my boyfriend to one once, its frickin awesome. Lights, dancing…”
  1914. “Drinking?” I asked hesitantly, this didn’t sound like a good idea.
  1916. “Nope, no drinking allowed” Vicky said understanding my concern, “That’s why I thought you’d come too. Besides, no more drinking for me after that time.”
  1918. “Okay, cool, I’ll go. Oh, what do you want for your birthday?”
  1920. Vicky grinned, “You’ve got a lot of money right?”
  1922. “Umm, well I guess why?”
  1924. “Well, I uh, I hooked us up a carton of smokes.”
  1926. “Holy shit, how much is a carton?” I said, realizing the scope of the purchase. I knew it had to have at least six packs
  1928. “Ten packs, she’ll sell it to us for a hundred bucks. Since I normally have to pay twenty a pack, its 50% off. I know I only got you a pack, but that was all I had for the month. If you buy it I’ll split it with you.”
  1930. “Okay,” I replied nodding. Wow, how could anyone smoke ten packs? It took us a month to get through one. Of course we rationed them like water in the desert. Maybe we could have one a day now.
  1932. Me and Vicky went down to the dorm manager and I took out the hundred and gave it to her. Vicky nodded and put it in her pocket. Even if she was lying, which I knew she’d never do, a hundred buck was a reasonable birthday present for my best friend. Daddy put in another thousand when he dropped me off, so I still had a little over three grand left in there.
  1934. Char and Yuri were in the room when we got back. They were arguing about the party next week and her not getting to go. It was clear they’d been going at it for a little while.
  1936. “It’s not fair, I mean you’re taking them and I can’t go. I’m getting Vicky something too, I can pay for myself.” Yuri said pissed, walking around the room.
  1938. Char looked at her somberly, she sighed and took a deep breath. “You use.”
  1940. “What?” Yuri said getting pissed
  1942. “I know you’re on drugs sometimes.” She looked over at us, “They can’t see it, but I’ve been there kid. The only reason I don’t turn you in is because you don’t keep any in here, and I’ve never actually seen you do it. You’ll get caught once you move up to the junior high dorms and they start the random testing. Then you’ll be in the drug watch program. Welcome to the club. They still test me every other day, and I haven’t used in three years.”
  1944. “I don’t use drugs Char, you’re nuts.” Yuri said laughing, trying to slide it off.
  1946. “Sure you don’t,” Char replied pretending to humor her, “I take you to that rave and you’ll have hooked up with a pusher in under fifteen minutes. Then I have to drag you home high, then everyone gets in trouble.”
  1948. “Fuck you!” Yuri said angrily, defensively “You don’t know what I do.”
  1950. “What?” Char asked cynically. The slightly bemused tone she’d been using before was dropped. “Like how when I left for the weekend you took Vicky and Alice out, got them drunk and almost raped? Like how you tried to get it on with Alice? Like how Chelsea likes to diaper you before she does stuff with you, and that’s why you thought Alice was coming on to you?”
  1952. “SHUT UP SHUT UP! SHHUUTTT UP!” Yuri screamed putting her hands on her ears.
  1954. A knock came on the door and Char assured the dorm manager everything was okay. Yuri was breathing heavily and looked like she wanted to do something violent. She controlled herself though and sat heavily on the bunk.
  1956. “They told you didn’t they,” Yuri said looking angrily at us.
  1958. “Yuri, my job is to watch you guys. If I wasn’t good at it they’d replace me. If I thought Alice and Vicky would be stupid enough to go out with you again I’d have reported it. If I thought reporting you would stop you, I’d have reported it. If I had any proof, I’d have reported it. All I have is hearsay, that I’m pretty sure is true. People see people at parties. Names get mentioned, I know the local goers, cause’ I’ve been here for six years.” Char stopped her controlled rant, “Look, if I took you to this thing I’d drag you home high on Ex, and we’d all be in deep shit. I discussed it with Vicky, she has no interest in that stuff, and I know it’s true. Alice even more so. I take those two and we can just have a fun time.”
  1960. “How do you know Vicky doesn’t use?” Yuri said bitterly
  1962. “One, I read character well. Two, I know about why Vicky is here.” Vicky looked at Char in horror, “Don’t worry, I’m not saying anything, just that I understand you.” Vicky sighed relieved. Whether I used drugs never came into question. It would’ve been ridiculous for Yuri to accuse me, since I’d never even seen the stuff.
  1964. “Just so you know I don’t wear diapers for Chelsea anymore.” Yuri said, it came out rather pathetic, “We only did it twice. It was her idea. I mean…”
  1966. “Stop.” Char said quietly, sternly. “Look, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I just wanted you to know that I knew stuff I wasn’t calling you on. What you and Chelsea do is between the two of you, though I’m sure you’ll live to regret.”
  1968. “She loves me.” Yuri said sadly
  1970. “Enough to let her boyfriend fuck you?” Char asked sadly.
  1972. At this point Yuri burst into tears and ran from the room. I couldn’t say I blamed her. This was drama in its purest form. Vicky and I simply stood in shock. Yuri seemed so happy, so confident in her risqué, edgy life. To see her fall apart like that was…scary. My first day back and everything had managed to go so badly. At least it was happening to someone else, part of me answered. Still, it hurt to see her like that.
  1974. “I am so sorry you two,” Char said, finally addressing us, “That you had to see that. I didn’t mean for it to come to a head when we were all hear, I didn’t think you guys would be back so soon. That girl needed a wake up call though. She’s ruining her life.”
  1976. We nodded in agreement but not much else could be said.
  1978. “Anyway, this rave thing is gonna be lots of clean fun. No one is going to be stupid and get themselves in lock down right?”
  1980. “Lock down?” I asked innocently
  1982. “Never usually comes up for elementary students, but Yuri’s riding the hurricane. You do something real stupid and you’re confined to a one bed room with a toilet and a bible and tutors for a week. We are a catholic school after all. Don’t worry, you have to do something incredibly bad to get it.”
  1983. “Like what?” I asked, Vicky just bite her lip
  1985. “Well, tearing a girl’s lip ring out for no good reason.” Char answered, trying not to chuckle as Vicky looked at her sourly, “Or coming back your dorm naked and coked up singing Nine Inch Nail’s “Closer”.”
  1987. “What?” Vicky said amazed
  1989. “I was fourteen and a complete dumb shit.” Char said shrugging, “Yuri’s looking at my past now. Enough of this depressing crap though. It’s too much for you guys.”
  1991. We chatted lighter fare for the rest of the night. The deep scars inside the students here were slowly coming out and it was sad, and scary. I knew bad stuff was going on, but an ethereal fear of the unknown was not the same as specific examples.
  1993. Chapter 11: Rave
  1994. “You’ve been trying to make your mind up for almost a half hour,” Vicky said amused as I looked at the panties again. Daddy had bought me a couple of packs while I was home. I hadn’t worn them except that one party, but he was thinking ahead.
  1996. “I, I dunno.” I slipped the training panties up my legs again and looked at my butt in the mirror. It was a little awkward in the short skirt.
  1998. “No one will be able to tell with all the lights and stuff, and we’re not going to look for boys, so who cares.” Vicky said, encouraging the training panty side of the debate.
  2000. “I know, but I haven’t had an accident since Thursday, and I look better this way.” I said, trying on the panties again. They felt weird, but I was kind of proud that I even owned them.
  2002. “That means you’re due for one then.” I gave Vicky a dirty look and she threw up her hands in mock fear. “Alice, you know what I mean. You have accidents when you get excited and distracted, both of which will probably be happening tonight. I’m just looking out for you.”
  2004. “You’re right.” I sighed pulling the training panties back on. If I wet them, I could just change. If I wet my panties we’d have to go out to the car for Char to change me. It’d be too embarrassing to risk quite yet.
  2006. “You two almost ready?” Char asked as she returned from her shower. We nodded enthusiastically. “Well then, let’s get the hell out of here.”
  2008. We pulled up in front of the club a little past eight. The trance music blared through the walls, louder than that party by a long shot. I hadn’t thought it could get louder. We paid for our tickets although they looked a little surprised at me and Vicky’s age, there wasn’t an age minimum. No drinking after all, no reason not to let us in. In some respects adults are rather stupid and naïve. Still, we were there for the right reasons, so I guess it wouldn’t be fair to keep us out just cause other people do stupid stuff in clubs.
  2010. Char had set the ground rules before we even got inside. We had to stay within five feet of her at all times, even if that meant having her take us to the bathroom. There was to be no going out to the smoking lounge. We could do that when she wasn’t officially responsible. We were leaving at ten on the dot. No complaints. (Curfew was earlier, but Vicky got a special exception for her birthday, and her much improved behavior over the last semester. Apparently she was so busy hanging out with me she wasn’t able to spend her time beating up random classmates.) The music was interesting, and I got into the grove of dancing pretty quick.
  2012. The lights and fog were just plain cool. It reminded me of a haunted house Daddy took me too once. I’d cried for over ten minutes after we left, but people weren’t sneaking up on me here. As I thought about it that story wouldn’t have been so embarrassing if I hadn’t been nine. Dancing was exhilarating though, I loved the sweat and excitement. We went for a good hour, when I remembered to use the restroom. It was even nastier than the park one.
  2014. “What’s wrong?” Char asked as I looked horrified
  2016. “I can’t use –that-“ I said looking at a broken toilet seat in a stall without a door. I smell assaulted me as well.
  2018. Char reached into her purse and pulled out a pair of training panties and a little Ziploc with some wipes. “It’s that or this. I brought it just in case.”
  2020. “Is it okay?” I asked, glancing back in horror at the toilet. Char nodded and I wet myself. The pee felt nasty, but I’m sure it was better than the feeling of my butt on that seat. Vicky covered the stall door as Char pulled down my training panties and threw them away, going over me quickly with the wipe and helping me into the fresh ones. Vicky had the sense to go before we left, so she was fine. I’d tried to go, but it just didn’t come out. The training panties weren’t disposable, but I had enough that the loss of one pair was no biggie. Besides, I’d be in panties soon anyway. That done we headed back out the door to quite possibly the worst situation possible.
  2022. “Yuri?” Char said in amazement as Yuri bumped into her as she headed into the restroom.
  2024. “Char?” Yuri said happily, “Well, fancy meeting you here.” She gave Char a big hug and giggled as she released her. “I gotta go potty.”
  2026. We watched in amazement as Yuri used the wall for balance as she headed to the next stall. She flopped herself onto the nasty seat and proceeded to piss in her pants, as she had forgotten to pull them down.
  2028. “Shit,” She said, though it was still a happy giggle. “Oh well,”
  2030. “She’s rolling big time.” Char said calmly and quietly to us. Yuri was off in her own little world, less than half conciouss of us watching her. The music blared behind us, confounded the senses. People moved around us to get into the grimy dank restroom. Yuri sat on the toilet, head lolling to one side, in pissed pants.
  2032. “Rolling?” I asked concerned to Char.
  2034. “Ecstasy, she’s high as a kite. This is way too much, I gotta drag her home and turn her in.”
  2036. Yuri simply sighed as she sat on the toilet seat in her wet pants, oblivious to our conversation. She seemed like she was trying to steel herself to move.
  2038. “Wait,” Vicky said quietly to Char. “Find out who’s with her and bust them too. Yuri got dragged into this by Chelsea, Chelsea should get her’s too.”
  2040. Char thought about that for a moment and nodded in agreement. With that we now went into detective mode. We waited outside of the bathroom door and after about five minutes Chelsea stumbled out and headed down a hall. We followed quietly, but there was no way she’d have noticed us anyway.
  2042. She passed the first room, where we’d been dancing, then headed to one of the further back rooms. Char had probably kept us out of those specifically because of the kind of people back there. Finally she head over to a couch and flopped onto it in between Chelsea and Mike. Brad was sitting next to Mike, which was a surprise. More a surprise that I even recognized him, as I’d only been carried by him for a few minutes in my drunken haze, but I’m good with faces. The worst of course was not Brad, but that his little sister Liz was sitting next to him. Char just waited back and we decided to watch for a moment
  2044. “Are they all rolling?” I asked sadly
  2046. “Yeah,” Char responded, “You can see it in their eyes and the way they move their heads,”
  2048. “Even the kid our age,”
  2050. “Definitely,” Char sighed
  2052. My heart wrenched a little at that. This was stupid and cruel. Chelsea was only fourteen. Yuri’s twelve and Liz was only eleven. This was really sad, what the hell was wrong with them.
  2054. “Right, we’re breaking…” I cut Char off,
  2056. “I’ve got a better idea.” I said, taking out my wallet and picking out a piece of paper that had been sitting back there for over a month now. “Call him.”
  2058. “Who the heck is Tom?” Char said looking at it but pulling out her cell.
  2060. “He saved me and Vicky at that party. That’s his little brother and sister. If it’s just us against some guys…but Tom can handle it.”
  2062. Char nodded and dialed the number suddenly realizing the change in situation the guys might have brought, then she handed me the phone. I gulped as I took it.
  2064. “Yo, this is Tom, what can I do you for?” Tom’s voice came from the other side.
  2066. “Umm, Tom. This is Alice…”
  2068. “Shit, never thought I’d here from you. You’re not going to a party again are you? Still, I guess…” I cut him off before he could continue
  2070. “It’s not that, I umm, I’m with my dorm leader at a rave. Me and Vicky just went to dance. You’re little brother and sister are here. My dorm leader says there ‘rolling’, our room mate is with them too. There’s a couple of guys though, we didn’t know what to do…”
  2072. “Shit, say no more.” Tom said desperately, “Okay is it that Orion thing? Or the Advent?”
  2074. “Orion,” I replied
  2076. “I’ll be there in twenty…no ten minutes. Keep an eye on them, but don’t let them see you. I’ll handle this.”
  2078. We waited and watched sadly as they laughed and made out on the couches. Brad was messing around with Yuri and Mike had Chelsea and Liz. It was rather disturbing. Char was sure the girls had little idea who they were with or what they were doing. At least it was a public place, Char said they’d have probably been screwing by now otherwise. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Tom. He looked like he did in that instant he’d forced his way into Chuck’s place. Violence absolutely radiated from him as he gave me a slight nod and strode over to the couch.
  2080. “Is that him?” Char asked me and I nodded mutely.
  2081. Mike never saw Tom coming. It was probably better that way, if he’d put up a fight Tom probably would’ve hurt him more. In less than a second he pulled Mike off his sister. The next a hook left Mike unconscious on the floor. Brad stood up shouting something at his brother. Tom punched him in the gut, knocking him to the floor. We walked over to them, Yuri and Chelsea looking on in horror, while Liz angrily shouted at her brother
  2083. “Brad you shit.” Tom said kicking his brother in gut while he was on the floor. “Our little sister, you brought Liz to a place like this.”
  2085. Brad ceased to move and in a heavy grunt Tom picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. A security guard came up yelling something angrily at Tom. Tom turned and unleashed his fury vocally over the music
  2087. “SHUT UP NOW, or I’ll be suing your establishment for allowing statutory rape and drug use with minors.” The security guard still insisted he leave, which was fine for everyone involved. Tom grabbed Liz’s hand and began to drag her out of the club and he carried his brother.
  2089. Char walked up and spat in Chelsea’s face as she grabbed Yuri’s arm
  2091. “We’re going as well.” Char said
  2093. “But I don’t –want- too.” Yuri said struggling slightly in the whiney voice of a kid. It was appropriate but disconcerting regarding the circumstances
  2095. “Help me here.” Char asked and the three of us dragged and pushed Yuri outside the club leaving Chelsea to attend to Mike on the floor. Char would report Chelsea when we got back.
  2097. Outside the club we ran into Tom smoking in the parking lot. His brother was in the back seat and Liz was sitting sullenly in the front.
  2099. “You’ve paid me back.” He said somberly, “I saved you, you saved my family. Thank you. I can take it from here. I guess St. Dorothy’s has some good girls too huh?” He said looking at Char as she pulled Yuri along to our car.
  2101. “Well, it turned me into one.” Char said dusting her hands off as she pushed Yuri in. “I have to take someone to the head disciplinarian tonight though, sorry about your party Vicky, lets go.”
  2103. Vicky just nodded, nothing else could be done and we’d had a really fun first hour. We got in the car and listened to Yuri beg not to tell and turn her in for the next twenty minutes. We were all in agreement that it had to be done however. ‘a cry for help’ Char called it. After all, she had had to know we would be there. We’d told her the club we were going too.
  2105. The head disciplinarian was not at all pleased to see the state of Yuri, but upon hearing our explanation, and a detailed account of what else Char knew she simply nodded and had a man take her away. We wouldn’t see her for a week.
  2107. Yuri never came back to our room. She was transferred to the junior high dorm even though she was still taking the 6th grade course so they could put her in the rehab program. Vicky was sad, they’d spent a year together, and though they weren’t great friends, they were friends. She’d changed a lot though, so much that Vicky said they lost most of what they’d had. Yuri came by to visit and apologize but it was hollow and bitter. Char said that would change with time.
  2109. I felt like I’d seen everything now. The dark world of sex, drugs and alcohol had been viewed and I wanted no part of it. It was dirty and ugly, and that was all I saw when I saw Yuri. I wanted so bad to be a child again. Yet I was still a child. The paradox wasn’t helping me think straight.
  2111. I wore panties starting in January, but due to intermittent bedwetting the counselor said I could have the nighttime diapers Vicky and Yuri used; as long as I didn’t abuse that privilege. I kind of did though. I mean, if I stopped wetting the bed, they’d stop letting me wear entirely. In fact, I wasn’t too certain they’d even let me stay in the room, since it was supposed to be for bed-wetters.
  2113. Spring term came and went and I finished my first year at St Dorothy’s. I was a normal, embittered youth now. At least I had seen by example what not to get involved in. I was done with it in its entirety. I had only the negative to say when Daddy called about school, but all he could see were the obvious results, not what this place was doing to my soul.
  2115. The pettiness, the fighting, the occasionally drug use by students. It was too much. Vicky was my only protection from falling prey to it. She needed what was left of my innocence to keep her sanity I think. I needed what was left of her strength to keep my innocence. We became more and more dependent on each other as the months we by, though she never really told me about her past, she told me everything that she now was. It was all that mattered.
  2117. “Are you going home for the summer…” Vicky asked sadly as the end of the term approached
  2119. “Vicky, I’m not coming back next year. Daddy said I only had to stay for one year.”
  2121. “I know but…” Vicky looked the saddest I’d ever seen her. It was probably safe to say we were one of the few true friendships on campus. It was going to be a cruel blow for me to leave her. I liked Char, but it was no skin of her back if I left. We enjoyed each others company, she liked having good kids to watch. I could never repay her for how she took care of me when I first arrived, but it was different. “You could stay for the summer. No classes, not many rules really. I mean, just us hanging out everyday. You’re my best friend. Just the summer please.”
  2123. “Vicky, I” I didn’t know what to say. If it was anyone else asking me it’d have been easy to turn my back and walk away. We owed each other so much
  2125. “If you stay,” She said quietly, “At the end of the summer, I’ll tell you why I’m here.”
  2127. “Vicky I don’t need you too, I want to know, but only if you want me too.”
  2129. “I do, just stay the summer, okay Alice” Vicky begged.
  2131. I sighed and went downstairs put in a call to my father
  2133. “Daddy?”
  2135. “Yes honey, what is it?”
  2137. “I was thinking, I only have to stay this year right.”
  2139. “Well, I’m… I cut him off before he could continue, it was hard enough asking without him giving me a reason not too.
  2141. “My roommate’s really going to miss me, we’re each others only friends. I thought I’d stay the summer for her.”
  2143. “You should come home, we can talk about school later.”
  2145. “No Daddy, I really want to stay here, for her.”
  2147. “Okay, if you want too.” My father answered surprised
  2149. “Okay, I’ll see you in September then?”
  2151. “You don’t want me to come by?” He asked, a little hurt.
  2153. “Sure, if you want to. Just don’t embarrass me in front of the other kids.”
  2155. “Of course not honey,” He replied. We chatted a little and then I let him go. He was busy on another deal.
  2157. I walked back up and told Vicky I would be staying, she jumped for joy and hugged me. It was the happiest I’d ever seen her. I almost felt cruel, getting us so attached only to rip myself away from her. How we came to be so dependent on each other I’m not sure, but it made school livable.
  2159. Daddy and mom came by the first week of summer vacation we took me out to the movies and dinner. It was fun, and I missed him. Daddy asked me to come home with him again, and I almost said yes. I couldn’t do that to Vicky though. We hugged and I cried a little and they went.
  2160. Chapter 12: Interlude of Pretend
  2161. Summer at a private school is incredibly boring. Me and Vicky took a summer course just to break up the monotony. Astronomy was kind of fun, and though most of the kids taking the course were from the junior high or high school it was still neat. A lot of the technical stuff was hard to understand but we weren’t taking it for a grade so our complete comprehension didn’t really matter.
  2163. The rest of the time we just hung around the dorms. Char went home for a good chunk of the summer so another girl would check in on us, but other than that we had the room to ourselves. Things were quiet, contemplative and tranquil.
  2165. “What you up too?” I asked Vicky as she entered the room. I’d been reading to pass the afternoon and she groaned, flopping onto the bed in a fit of boredom commonplace to our summer lifestyle. Birds chirped lightly outside and the sun filtered through the windows in such a way that all energy was drained from your body.
  2167. “Nothing,” her reply came finally, sighed as she rolled onto her side
  2169. “Me neither.” Silence ensued. I stared at the ceiling
  2171. “Want to go to the pool again?” She asked breaking our silent boredom, not really thrilled with the idea. We’d spent the first three hot weeks frequenting it
  2173. “Nah,” I replied, putting down my book and trying to think of something for us to do.
  2175. “Ummm, we could…” Vicky started slowly and stopped, “Never mind.”
  2177. “What? Come on, anything is better than sitting around,”
  2179. “We could play something,” she said again hesitantly,
  2181. “What like cards? I think I left them in the dresser.”
  2183. “Well, no like… we could –pretend- something.”
  2185. “You? You wanna play pretend?” I asked surprised
  2187. “Sorry, it was a stupid idea. I’m just bored. I guess we’re not kids right?”
  2189. “No, no that could be fun.” I said, jumping on the bandwagon. No one was here to watch us anyway. I was amazed at the courage Vicky displayed admitting she wanted to act like a kid for a little while. Everyone here usually kept up the pretext of precociousness.
  2191. “Okay,” She said happily “What do you wanna play?”
  2193. “I dunno,” I said thinking. My imagination had been dulled for years by the video games, and blunted even more harshly by life here. “Okay, here, I want to be a queen. This,” I said was over to my half of my room, “Is the throne room.” I pointed to my bed, “And that’s my room.”
  2195. “Okay, I’ll be the princess then.” She said
  2197. “Princess?” I asked, “So you’re my daughter?”
  2199. “It’s like playing house with a theme.” Vicky answered happily.
  2201. The game started off slow, mainly because we were both incredibly embarrassed we were doing this. If anyone saw us, we’d be laughed off campus. Of course, few people stayed in the elementary dorms over the summer, and no one we knew. Our chance of being disturbed before evening was next to nil.
  2203. Vicky’s bunk was her room. The closet was the dungeon.
  2205. “Mom,”
  2207. “You will address me as queen.” I joked, but Vicky was trying to take it seriously. I coughed and got back into character, “Yes Princess Vicky,”
  2209. “Princess Celcia.” She whispered and the game was afoot so to speak.
  2211. * * * *
  2213. “Celcia dear, what can I do for you,” I asked as if I was stressed out, “You’ve heard of course, the armies of the north have sent a peace decree, I’m rather busy with the ambassadors, but what is it?”
  2215. “Well, mom, I was thinking, the prince of the north wants to marry me, what should I do?”
  2217. “I’ve told you, that’s your choice. I won’t force my daughter to marry.” I answered concerned
  2219. “Well he is cute, but don’t you think I’m too young?”
  2221. “Well, you are of marrying age…” I started,
  2223. “No, I’m seven, but the prince is only ten.” Vicky answered aside, “But it’s political.”
  2225. “In that case, I suggest you think deeply. Perhaps it’s not the time even though it would help the country.”
  2227. “I just don’t know,” Celcia said frustrated, “What if he found out I still wet the bed sometimes?”
  2229. “Well, that would be embarrassing,” I replied with a little smirk, “Still, its normal for kids.”
  2230. “How long did you wet the bed until mom?”
  2232. “I don’t know… Hmm, I think I stopped at fourteen. That was rather late though.”
  2234. “Bummer, what do you think I should do?” She replied embarrassed
  2236. “If Prince Phillip loves you, or is willing to do it for his country, he can hardly hold it against you.”
  2238. “True, I could always wear diapers…” She said quietly
  2240. “I’ve told you. No more diapers. They don’t encourage you to stop.” I said, this was relating a little too much to life for it to be comfortable. Then again it felt exhilarating to speak about it, regardless of the pretense.
  2242. “But… he’ll find out. I might…” Suddenly Vicky looked down in embarrassment. I didn’t understand of course, but she moved uncomfortably, “Mom, I’m sorry I had an accident.”
  2244. There was of course, no accident, but it was interesting the way the story was progressing. I looked at her in mock disgust.
  2246. “Celcia, you’re seven. This is unacceptable. Wetting yourself in court. Attendant,” I said looking over to the non-existent person. “Help the princess get cleaned up.”
  2248. “Mom, can’t you help me?” Celcia asked embarrassed
  2250. “I told you, I’m busy with the peace ambassadors. Go to your room, and don’t come out until I come after the meeting.”
  2252. Vicky went over to her bunk, and of course the meeting was over in an instant.
  2254. “Celcia, what am I going to do with you.” I said, entering the area designated as her room. “Wetting yourself in court. Everyone is talking about it.”
  2256. “I could wear diapers.” Celcia suggested. I started to see where this game might be going. I was getting a little excited. I mean, no one was around. They never miss a night time diaper…or two. I could use just one.
  2258. “Wait.” I said breaking character.
  2260. “What?” Vicky asked, tension filled the air. She was worried she pushed too far. She didn’t realize I was interested too.
  2262. “You wanna play with some diapers?” I asked, looking over to where the package was hidden in the closest, “If you get to wear one I want to too.”
  2264. “But you’re the queen.”
  2266. “We can both be princesses.” I said quickly, “We’re sisters, and the queen’s mad because we keep having accidents, so she’s putting us back in diapers.”
  2268. “Okay,” Vicky said hopping up. A harsh look crossed her features “We’re never –ever- to speak of this outside this room.”
  2270. “Of course, never.” I replied solemnly.
  2272. With that bargain struck, Vicky went into the closet and pulled out two of the night time diapers. They were the pull-up variety, but it was good enough. I skipped my panties down and off in an instant as she handed it to me. We giggled a little as we put them on.
  2274. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” She said conspiratorially, pulling it on under her skirt.
  2276. “I haven’t worn a diaper during the day since last year.” I said happily, “I’ll be in trouble if the school finds out though…”
  2278. “There is no way I’ll tell anyone about this.” Vicky said, of course she was right. It’d destroy her reputation in a heartbeat. We stood in our diapers for a good minute; basking in the naughtiness of the venture. I started the game after a few moments of silence. Our voices had been low before, but we made doubly sure no one could hear of our game from outside the room.
  2280. “But mom,” I said, looking to the imaginary figure berating us, “I don’t want to use the potty.”
  2282. “Yeah,” Celcia added to the queen, “You can’t make us,”
  2284. “If you make us wear diapers, we’ll use them, so there.” I added and Vicky nodded in agreement.
  2286. The queen left us to ourselves as we sat in our room contemplating the punishment.
  2288. “Diapers aren’t so bad,” Celcia said flopping onto the bunk
  2290. “Yeah, they’re kind of soft, I like them.” I said.
  2292. Vicky put her thumb in her mouth and started to suck on it. She smiled as I tried it as well. It felt kind of nice. We giggled together. This was fun.
  2294. “Do you want to use them?” Vicky asked with a hint of excitement.
  2296. “Yeah,” I muffled with the thumb in my mouth.
  2298. “You first.” She said sitting up
  2300. “Why me,” I said, “You’ve seen me wet tons of times.”
  2301. “Okay, fine” Vicky said embarrassed, standing up. She pulled up her skirt so I could see her diaper.
  2303. A few moments pass Vicky looking really embarrassed, when suddenly her diaper began to yellow. She gave me an embarrassed grin as she did it.
  2305. “There,” She said sighing, lowering her skirt “You have to now, too.”
  2307. I had an easier time wetting my diaper. After all, I’d only pt’d last winter. Still, the rush was different, I’d always been sort-of allowed to before. As the warmth spread in my diaper I remembered why I liked it so much. I never really got to enjoy it at night, because I fell right back asleep after I did it. It felt good, comfortable, safe.
  2309. “I can’t believe we did that.” Vicky said half to herself as I finished. She stuck her thumb back in her mouth and sat on the bed. “This is nice, I kinda see why you liked it so much.”
  2311. “Yeah,” I replied sadly, “Diapers are nice.” I was already bummed by the fact that soon it would be back to panties.
  2313. “So what now?” Vicky asked me, languidly
  2315. “I guess enjoy it until it gets cold, then we change.” I replied nonchalantly.
  2317. We sat on are bunks for a moment, just enjoying the whole event. It was kind of nice to share this simple joy with Vicky, we’d shared most of our other experiences. I don’t know if part of it was just her desire to find out what I saw in diapers.
  2319. Vicky got up and crawled around the floor for awhile, she said she just wanted to know what it felt like. It was kind of cute. I joined her for a little, but it just seemed a bit silly to me. I laughed lightly as Vicky sat on the floor in her wet diaper. I mean, it was normal for me, but for Vicky, it was amazing. Here was Vicious, sitting in a diaper pretending to be a baby. She seemed really happy though.
  2321. Then the door opened. Suddenly. I froze up instantly, and Vicky had a deer caught in the headlights look as Char dropped her bag in shock. Thank god no one was with her.
  2323. “What the…” Char said, looking at Vicky sitting on the ground sucking her thumb. Then she looked over to me lying on the bed. My hand didn’t quite pull my skirt over my diaper in time.
  2325. “Umm,” Vicky said popping her thumb out of her mouth instantly, “Shit.”
  2327. Char quietly closed the door as she assessed the situation. She looked at me, looked at Vicky again. Then, quickly she went and grabbed her pillow, and laughed hysterically into it. She must’ve done that to muffle it, so it wouldn’t bring anyone else. Rather considerate of her. It took her a good thirty seconds to stop laughing.
  2329. Vicky looked crushed. She hadn’t moved at all, she just sighed depressed. I however was very worried, Char knew I wasn’t supposed to be in diapers. I could get in a lot of trouble.
  2331. “Okay, sorry about that,” Char said as her fit of laughter stopped, “Sorry, I know I came back early, but I was bored at home. Geeze, and I thought you guys would spend your summer at the pool.”
  2333. “Please, don’t tell.” Vicky begged
  2335. “I don’t get my kicks from ruining kid’s lives.” Char replied, “I’d never tell. Still, I think you guys can do my laundry for a month for keeping my mouth shut.”
  2337. “No fair,” I replied
  2339. “You’d be in a lot of trouble if I ratted you out Alice.” Char said sternly, “You know you’re not allowed to wear those during the day. With Vicky it’s just funny. Still, how did you get her to go along with it?”
  2341. “It was Vicky’s idea.” I said, immediately regretting saying that. It was childish, but my instinct was to protect my own ass. Still the guilt got to me and I added, “But I wanted to, too.”
  2343. “Really, you’re idea?” Char asked her, Vicky just nodded dumbly, “Why?”
  2345. “I just wanted to see.” Vicky replied, “It was stupid.”
  2347. “Ahh, whatever. I don’t care.” Char said shrugging, “Did you like it?”
  2349. “Kinda,” Vicky said even more embarrassed, “Can we not talk about it.”
  2351. Char appraised Vicky for another second, something seemed unspoken between them. “You want me to change you like I used to do for Alice?”
  2353. “Is it okay?” Vicky replied
  2355. “Hey, will you change me too?” I asked excitedly
  2357. “No way, you’re not supposed to be doing this and you know it, go get cleaned up.” Char said, I nodded sadly, grabbed a towel and headed off to the shower duly chastised.
  2359. When I came back Char had changed Vicky into a fresh diaper (that was to be the last one we used without permission) and was cradling her like a baby. Vicky was just sighing softly as she hugged Char. I decided to give Vicky some space and went out for a walk. That evening Vicky was back to normal and still didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t push anything.
  2361. The end of summer came soon after. The last week before school Vicky stopped me when I was about to head out to the pool. Char was off with her friends and we were alone. The air hung with a little undue tension. It was as if things were being opened and closed at the same time.
  2363. “Hey, Alice. I need to talk to you.”
  2365. “Sure, what’s up?”
  2367. “Well, you’re going home soon. I…I don’t know what I’m going to do when you’re gone. So, I want to tell you the truth. I want you to know, and maybe we can still be friends when you go home.”
  2369. “Sure Vicky, what’s up?”
  2371. “I’m not here because I broke a girls jaw.” Vicky said sadly, “Oh, I did do it. She deserved it though, four girls ganged up on me, and no one really blamed me for how it turned out. I sort of stole her boyfriend, not the other way around.”
  2373. “Why here then?”
  2375. “Umm,” She said tension and sadness filled the air, “My dad. He’s a…” She laughed a little, “A really violent guy. It’s hard to say really. Sure, we’re from a good family, but dad’s always been a bit wild for them. He likes to get drunk and hit people.”
  2377. “Oh, god Vicky, I’m so sorry…”
  2379. “Ah, you get used to it. Of course it’d be a major fiasco if mom tried to turn him in. The family won’t allow it, so she sent me here for protection. That’s why I don’t go home. I kinda miss mom, but she’s, well, trying to keep dad from killing her or someone else so I understand. He’s a decent guy when he’s clean. That’s why no one can beat me up, no one hits as hard as dad does.”
  2381. “That’s horrible. Vicky, there has to be something.” She cut me off with a wave of her hand
  2383. “This is why I don’t tell anyone. It’s just the way things are. You can’t say anything to anyone. Dad’s a big politician, if this got out, it’d ruin us. I just, I heard about your happy home, and you were so innocent when you came here. I wondered if maybe that’s what childhood is supposed to be like. I guess that’s why I wanted to try the diapers. I mean, just to touch your world for an instant was better than nothing. Char knows all this, but I wanted to tell you too.”
  2385. “Isn’t there anyone else in your family that could take you in?” I asked, it was unfair that she couldn’t have her home, just because her father was an asshole.
  2387. “Heh,” Vicky said bitterly, “They refer to me as the bastard’s offspring. Everyone in the family hates dad, and because I’m his daughter, they hate me. They deal with him because he’s important and rich, but beyond reputation no one wants anything to do with him or his child. It doesn’t help that my mom was born poor and a nobody. She’s nice, but she’s not of their ‘class’.”
  2389. “Wow Vicky. I don’t know what to say.” I said, “I mean, if there is anything I can do for you, I would.”
  2391. “Something’s can’t be fixed, but promise me, when you leave, you’ll still call and write, and maybe visit? I need you Alice.”
  2393. “I will, I will.” I said, running up and giving her a hug. She started crying as we hugged, and pressed her arms hard around me. How bittersweet life can be. She made me into an icon of innocence, but that was torn from me bit by bit. She relied on me for salvation, for hope, but I was being taken from her, leaving her in a world of pettiness and hatred. The sick thing was that it was better for her than home.
  2395. Chapter 13: No Return
  2396. I was sick with rage and indignation. Daddy was a fucking liar. Char was right. Vengeance would be delivered. As I yelled obscenities at him, he insisted this was exactly why I had to stay. He apologized as he got in the car and drove off. He’d see me at Christmas, he promised. Clearly him- and mother didn’t have the ability to raise me properly. St. Dorothy’s was doing wonders for my grades and character… The myriad of excuses Daddy left to try a sway me to his decision were futile. He left and I stood in the parking lot, stupefied and distraught.
  2398. I returned to the room on the warpath. I needed something to get my aggression out on, and my pillow seemed like a good idea. I had to keep the anger, because I knew the minute it left it would be replaced with uncontrollable crying. Vicky would be happy, and I couldn’t fault her, she needed me. I needed to get the hell out of here.
  2401. “Come for your stuff?” Char asked as I came in, it took only one look for her to understand. She sighed, “Shit. Alice, I’m sorry, but it’s like I told you. You improve, they leave your ass here.”
  2403. “Alice, no…” Vicky said horrified, “You’ve got to get out of here, that’s not fair.”
  2405. “I’m sure you’re happy.” I snapped at Vicky
  2407. “That’s not fair,” Vicky said angrily, “You’re my best friend. I want you to be happy. I love having you around, but not like this.”
  2409. “Right, no, I know.” I said clenching my fist. “It’s…It’s…I wanted…” It was no good, I was losing the anger. In a heap I collapsed to the floor in racking sobs. In a moment Vicky was holding me, repeating ‘it’s okay, you’ll get home’.
  2411. Char rubbed my back softly as well and I came back to myself after a short time. I’d find a way home. I’d do something to get kicked out. I’d find some way. Daddy wouldn’t get away with this. He –promised-.
  2413. Things went pretty much back to normal after that. Vicky and me tried to come up with ways to get me kicked out, but most involved violence and I wasn’t willing to hurt someone for my personal benefit. It was fantasy anyway, a mental release. We both knew I was stuck here.
  2415. The second year started. It was now my sixth grade year, I wasn’t a new kid anymore. I was one of the seasoned, bitter kids forced into this nefarious place. I sat on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Vicky was on her bunk, reading idly.
  2417. “Hey guys, we’re getting a new roomie.” Char said returning with the papers the gave her for her wards, “It’s gonna be ugly, so prep yourselves.”
  2419. “Ugly?” I asked
  2421. “Liz Stevenson” Char said slowly, “Requested to be in my room by her mother Cathy Stevenson. Names ring a bell?”
  2423. “No should they?” I said shrugging,
  2425. “You remember that Tom guy from the club.” Vicky said slowly, “I think that was his last name.”
  2427. “Bingo!” Char said pointing at Vicky, “The little girl in the club is going to be our new roomie. Apparently this is her punishment for the club among other things. Tom called me about the school last semester, I told him it might not be a bad idea to send her here. She’s a little messed up, but it’s a family problem.”
  2429. “Family problem?” I asked
  2431. “Her and her brother have been doing ridiculous stuff, Brad apparently is off to military school and Liz is coming here. He wanted me to watch her specifically, he figures I’m a good role model she can relate to I guess. Oh, I didn’t tell you, we’re dating now.”
  2433. “You and Liz, eww.” Vicky joked, Char just rolled her eyes
  2435. “No, me and Tom.” Char said sighing, “After that fiasco, and the call about the school, we started talking, and well, one thing led to another. I guess I should’ve told you guys, but I kind of wanted something to myself. Anyway, having your girlfriend as permanent guardian to your sister in a strict school is a pretty good idea, the way we figure it.”
  2437. “But she was doing drugs.” I said concerned, “Shouldn’t she be in the junior high building?”
  2439. “Nah, that was one time, but she knows damn well if I see any indication of use, I’m ratting her out in a heartbeat. She shouldn’t be able to get off campus, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Speaking of the devil.”
  2441. With that a rather scared looking Liz entered the room with Tom. She looked around sadly and looked back to Tom. He stared her down easily. She put her things on the bunk Yuri had left behind last year.
  2443. “Hey Tom,” I said happily, no reason to let Liz’s situation get me down. It was good to see him.
  2445. “Hey Alice,” he glanced over “and Vicky,” Vicky gave him a nod, “Char talks about you guys a lot. Anyway, good to see you. I’ve gotta run, but watch out for Liz, she needs a lesson in life and how nasty it can be.”
  2447. “You know what this school does to people?” I asked looking at him
  2449. “Yeah, but the way I figure it, a couple of busted lips, a couple of bruises and a strict curriculum is what this brat needs. She had an easy life out there and she was going down the wrong road, weren’t you Liz?”
  2451. “I hate you.” Liz replied sullenly, Tom shrugging, waved goodbye and made his exit.
  2452. The room just wasn’t as pleasant with Liz in it. We were too used to it just being the three of us now. She didn’t know us, we weren’t close. As I thought about how awkward it would be living with a stranger, I realized it must’ve been even odder when I arrived, diapers and all.
  2454. “So uh, nice to see you?” I said hesitantly
  2456. “Whatever,” Liz mumbled into the pillow,
  2458. I picked up the case that Tom had dropped and put them in the spot we left open in case of new room mate. I suddenly got worried that Liz might not know we wet the bed as I saw the nighttime diapers. That could be dangerous for Vicky if it got out. I whispered to Char about my concern.
  2460. “Oh, that doesn’t matter, Liz does too.” Char replied, “If she didn’t they wouldn’t have let me have her, for the worry of Vicky getting embarrassed. I told you this was a wet room last year.”
  2462. “You wet the bed too?” I asked Liz surprised
  2464. “Shut up.” She said and placed her face back into the pillow
  2466. “Wow, she’s not going to be much fun,” Vicky said amused
  2468. “Come on,” I said pleasantly, “Liz, you’re stuck with us, we might as well be friends. Without me and Vicky this school will be hell.”
  2470. “Fine, we’re friends. Happy?” Liz replied, sitting up and looking at me with an expression that was not at all friendly.
  2472. “Hey, Alice is throwing you a bone here.” Vicky said finally getting pissed, “Maybe I should let the girls have a go at her. First years are the most violent, everyone has to prove something. You’re in fifth right?”
  2474. “Yeah. What do you mean?”
  2476. “There’s a pecking order that’ll be established quickly. If you don’t win you’re fucked. Or you can just stick by us and lay low in class.”
  2478. “Okay, thanks I guess.” Liz said a little more nicely, Vicky just nodded.
  2480. The first week was rough on Liz. She didn’t heed our warning and ended up with a small bald spot and black eye. She thought she could do whatever she wanted, and the second years had fun beating some sense into her.
  2482. Gradually she came around, and stuck to us like glue even when we didn’t want her too. It was a little amusing, but Liz was nice once you got to know her. It was mainly her brother Brad that fucked up, and he dragged her down with him. She was more than a little bitter about it.
  2483. It was the third week of the semester when Liz finally got around to asking us why we were wearing diapers the first night she saw us. I guess she’d been wanting to know for a while. In her position I’d be curious too. She brought it up as we were walking back to the dorms after classes.
  2485. “Oh, that,” Vicky stepped in before I could answer, “Alice, wasn’t potty trained until last December. That’s why everyone calls her ‘Baby’”
  2487. “Really?” Liz said looking at me incredulously.
  2489. “Yeah,” I sighed, “They made me train. I did it and Daddy still wouldn’t let me come home.”
  2491. “What do you mean?” Liz asked
  2493. “Daddy sent me here because I wouldn’t use the toilet or do my homework.”
  2495. “She couldn’t dress herself or bathe herself either.” Vicky added
  2497. Liz just looked at me amazed.
  2499. “Hey, it was a great life, don’t knock it. I was happy.” I replied, “Daddy wasn’t, but he promised I could come home after I fixed it. I did, and then he decided that I had to stay.”
  2501. “Why should you do want he wants then?” Liz asked me
  2503. “What do you mean?”
  2505. “Well, you potty trained and got your grades up he didn’t keep up his end of the deal. Why shouldn’t you go back to the way you were. Maybe then he’d have to take you home to get what he wanted back.”
  2507. I simply stood there amazed. Vicky and Liz stopped walking and waited for me. Liz was completely right. Why hadn’t I thought of that? I mean, sure they could switch my room, but they couldn’t make me use the toilet. They couldn’t make me dress or wash myself. For sure Daddy would take me home if all the improvement was gone.
  2509. “That’s brilliant.” I said finally
  2511. “Wait, Alice, what are you thinking?” Vicky asked.
  2512. “She’s completely right. I’m going to live my life the way I want too. Adults can go fuck themselves. Daddy lied, so I don’t have to do what he wanted.”
  2514. “So you’re just gonna take the nighttime diapers?” Vicky asked
  2516. “No, I don’t like those as much as my old ones. I’m going to make them give me the old ones back.”
  2518. “How?” Vicky asked
  2520. In answer to her question a patter hit the ground and Liz and Vicky looked at me in shock as I peed my panties. The warm pee ran down my legs and formed into a puddle beneath my feet. It felt good, both the physical feeling, and the feeling of dominance. I’d found something the adults couldn’t take from me.
  2522. “Oh my god, you peed yourself.” Liz said shocked.
  2524. “And I will continue to do so until they give me back my diapers.” I said with conviction
  2526. “You sure?” Vicky asked looking from the puddle to my eyes, “I mean, if you’re sure, I wish you the best but…”
  2528. “I’m sure, thanks Liz, I owe you for that.”
  2530. “It seemed an obvious choice to me.” Liz replied shrugging, “Aren’t you embarrassed?”
  2532. “Not really,” I said, shifting from one foot to the other, a little uncomfortable in the wet panties. It’d been almost five months since my last accident.
  2534. We walked back and I started chatting as if nothing had happened. I could see both were a little embarrassed for me, but I didn’t care. This was my choice and no one could take it from me.
  2536. I came back and flopped onto my bunk, not caring that my skirt and panties were still wet. Char looked at me funny as she stopped doing her homework.
  2538. “Alice, did you have an accident?”
  2540. “Kind of,” I replied “I decided I’m not going to use the potty anymore. You were right, changing just made Daddy keep me here. I’m going back to the way I was.”
  2542. “Oh, well, you should at least get cleaned up then.” She said concerned
  2544. “Nope,” I replied, “I’m not going to bathe myself either.”
  2546. “But…” Char started, “There’s no one else to do it?”
  2548. “That’s fine, then I’ll stink until they send me home, or get someone to do it.”
  2550. Vicky and Liz just stared at me in horror. Liz was finally realizing what a monster she’d created. It had to be done though, I knew I would find a way home.
  2552. Char finally gave in and took my to the showers after everyone else was in there rooms for the night. She said she wouldn’t be able to sleep with the sent of piss pervading the room. I stood there happy as she removed my soiled panties and skirt and lathered up a washcloth. The panties were stained bright yellow, from several wettings. I’d had the decency to go outside today, but that was only because I hadn’t had a chance to explain my demands to the counselor. It was liberating, as Char scrubbed me I knew I’d found a way to beat the system. Afterwards she held out a nighttime diaper that I stepped into, then we headed back to the room.
  2554. “Are you sure this is what you want?” Char asked, “I mean, no one but us has found out yet, you can still change you’re mind.”
  2556. “I’m sure.” I said, tomorrow I would go for shock value.
  2558. I strode confidently into the counseling office before classes started. Ms. Carlyle, who I hadn’t seen since my spring appraisal sat behind the desk, amazed that someone would ask to see her.
  2560. “What can I do for you Ms. Woodren?”
  2562. “I came here to tell you I’m done with this whole potty thing. I might keep my grades up, because they’re important, but since Daddy is making me stay here, I’m doing what I want. So you might want to get me some diapers.”
  2564. “What?” She replied startled, “What do you mean?”
  2566. “Look, you can change my room, but you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone besides Char to take care of me. I hereby refuse to take care of myself.” I said harshly, “And your answer?”
  2568. “Heh, you don’t run things around here child. We don’t respond to threats. Now get to class, and don’t bother me again.” She said harshly shooing me out.
  2570. I nodded and left. She’d see the light soon enough.
  2572. It was during second period that the need came. I was still clean from Char changing me into panties in the morning and wishing me the best. I was ready. With a deep breath I stood from my seat quietly, and squatted.
  2574. My lips pursed as I felt it coming. I dropped the full load into my panties as the pee streamed down my legs. The class looked at me in shock. All of them knew I used to be in diapers, half of them had been in my class last year. Vicky just grimaced from across them room. I appreciated her sympathy, but it had to be done.
  2576. “Did Baby just crap herself?” A new girl asked quietly,
  2578. “I think Baby needs a diaper!” Someone else said and the class started laughing.
  2580. “I think I do too. But the school won’t give them to me.” I responded matter-of-factly. I said heavily back at my desk, the poo squishing all over my butt and onto the seat. The teacher stared at me in shock
  2582. “Ms. Woodren!” She bellowed, “Go to the discipline office right now!”
  2584. I nodded, made my leave of the class and headed to be disciplined. Ms. Carlyle was already in the discipline office by the time I got there. She was livid. It was almost funny.
  2586. “Well, are you going to explain yourself?” She demanded, sitting behind the desk, “Don’t sit down.” She added,
  2588. “I told you I needed diapers.”
  2590. “Go clean yourself up and don’t let this happen again.” She said angrily waving me away. It was intimidating, Ms. Thomspon was intimidating. Now though, I finally held the cards for my freedom.
  2592. “No.” I said quietly, still very aware of the load in my panties. The look and smell of me probably would’ve been absurdly funny under different circumstances.
  2594. “What?” She demanded again
  2596. “No, someone else can clean me, or not at all. I refuse. You can’t make me.”
  2598. “What do you want, what is this?” She said unable to comprehend complete insubordination.
  2600. “I want to go home. Get me some diapers or don’t. Get someone to clean me or don’t. Either way, I won’t be doing it. In fact,” I said considering it, “I think I want to be fed too, I refuse to use utensils as well.”
  2602. “My god,” Ms Thompson said shaking her head, “Get out of here, I can’t deal with you right now.”
  2604. “Should I go back to class like this?” I asked
  2606. “No, we’ve already had to send the janitor in. It’d be unfair to your roommates to send you back like this…” She cusped her face in her hand as she tried to figure out what to do with me. “Go to the junior high dorm. Tell Mr. Allen to get you a room.
  2608. I followed her directions, but Ms. Carlyle had rigged a surprise for me. That was the code for sticking me in solitary which is exactly what happened when I gave Mr. Allen the message. Being locked in a room, completely on my own was a scary idea but I didn’t fight it.
  2610. There was a toilet, a sink, a little shower and a bed. Boring as dirt. The walls had some graffiti etched on them, but it appeared they tried to wash it off between prisoners. I flopped into my bed in soiled panties. I couldn’t give in, this was a contest now. My demands would only be met if I held my ground.
  2612. A day and a half later I wished I was dead. I laid in a pool of my own filth, starving, trying to ignore the food they’d brought in. I’d drank some water but that was it. Luckily, one didn’t have to poop much if they weren’t eating. The stench was unbearable, though its evil had lessoned as I got used to it. They couldn’t leave me in here much longer, it’d be a health hazard. The man who dropped off last nights dinner had almost thrown up.
  2614. The door creaked open and Ms. Carlyle stared in horror as she looked around the room, trying not wretch. “God, this is sick. I’ve called your father girl. You win for now though, we can’t let you live like this.”
  2616. Char strode in a peeked through the door then looked at Ms Carlyle “I want a bonus to clean her up. This is ridiculous.”
  2618. “$500, just do it, and we’ll pay you $50 plus the old bonus to take care of her until this is settled, okay?” Ms. Carlyle said shaking her head. Char gulped and nodded. I felt bad I’d made her handle this, but she was obviously getting paid enough out of the deal.
  2620. The adults left while a gagging Char came in and removed my clothes. She threw them into a pile and stripped as well placed her clothes neatly in one of the few clean spots of the little room.
  2622. The hot water felt so good as she scrubbed me and washed my hair without talking. I was so glad I hadn’t had to go any longer. I was at my breaking point as well. Char brushed my hair afterwards, and got a diaper on me while I was standing. She pulled a set of my clothes out and helped me into them. Diapered, clean and clothed she walked me back to our dorm leaving the cursed room far behind.
  2624. “Wow, you took that really far.” Char said as we drew further from the junior high dorm. The silence was finally broken
  2626. “I won though.” I said triumphantly
  2628. “That’s more than anyone else can say here.” Char said in understanding.
  2630. Chapter 14: Not Giving Up (half-done)
  2631. Inside the elementary school dorm things were quite. Classes were still in session, so it was to be expected. Char hadn’t said much, I supposed there wasn’t much to stay. It was unlikely the adults would take this sitting down. I honestly couldn’t think of a way for them to beat me, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t make it hard on me.
  2633. “You must be starving,” Char said absently as we towards the dining hall.
  2635. “Yeah,” I said quietly, “But I’m not feeding myself”
  2637. “Why? You used to feed yourself before.” Char replied surprised
  2639. “It was part of a threat when I was pissed, but it’s a good idea. I’ll be even worse than before, they can’t make me stay here then.”
  2641. “Your call,” Char shrugged, “They’re paying me enough for this.”
  2643. I sat at one of the table while Char got me a sandwich. She sat next to me and sighed as she put the food up to my mouth. I took a bit and pointed to the cup which she raised to my lips. It was refreshing, I didn’t know how much longer I could’ve taken that room. I was lucky they had caved first, because I was exhausted from hunger. I bit into the sandwich again hungrily.
  2645. “Hey, watch the fingers.” Char said moving her hand to allow for more biting space.
  2647. “I was watching,” I mumbled while chewing.
  2649. I ended up eating two sandwiches before Char suggested I might get sick if I filled myself up after two days of not eating. Once the meal was finished I popped my thumb in my mouth as I stood up to follow Char to our room.
  2651. “What’s with that?” She said looking at me.
  2653. “I started doing it in the room, it was kind of comforting. Besides, it goes with the deal.” I mumbled around my mouth. “Maybe you could get me a pacifier? I’d pay you for it.”
  2655. “No way, I can take care of you, but if they think I’m helping you they’ll be pissed at me. Get Vicky to get you one, or wait until we go off campus and buy it yourself.” Char responded.
  2657. I took a nap in the dorm room while Char went back to classes. To be honest I hadn’t slept well in the punishment room, and I was glad to be back in my bed. I drifted off to dreams of home and diapers.
  2659. “Hey! You’re back!” Vicky exclaimed as she walked through the door.
  2661. “Did it work?” Liz added following her in
  2663. “Yep” I answered, raising my skirt so they could see my diaper of triumph.
  2665. “The lady at the desk wanted me to tell you your dad wanted you to call him as soon as you woke up…” Vicky said, adding a look of sympathy
  2667. “I’m ready,” I said taking in a deep breath. I was still groggy from my nap but I walked out the room and down the stairs to the dorm manager’s office.
  2669. “Am I supposed to call my dad?” I asked the manager
  2671. “One sec, I’ll get Mr. Woodren on the line for you.” She replied picking up the phone. I paced slowly in the office while she dialed. I didn’t want to talk to daddy, it was his fault I was doing this, but I was sure he’d somehow make it seem like it was mine.
  2673. “Here you go,” The lady said handing me the receiver
  2675. “Alice?” Daddy’s voice asked from the other end
  2677. “Yes, daddy” I asked sweetly
  2679. “Don’t give me that crap.” He said, he seemed more angry than I’d ever heard him. “You are not in control, you are a child, and I am your father. You will stop wetting and crapping yourself immediately, how do you think this makes me look?”
  2681. I took a deep breath. Ever fiber in my wanted to comply, to not make daddy hate me, but what good was it if he was happy but I never saw him. At least this way he could suffer with me.
  2683. “You lied daddy.” I said finally, “You promised I could come home. I want to go home.”
  2685. “You’re not getting your way Alice, you need to have some respect for authority.”
  2687. “Then I’m doing what I want here.” I replied softly
  2689. “FINE! Do what you want, but I’m -not- giving in” Daddy yelled hanging up
  2691. I ran upstairs crying, ignoring the looks of the other girls, pushing past a few of them. I flung the door open to our room and threw myself on my bunk, wailing into my pillow.
  2693. “Didn’t work huh?” Vicky said, sitting next to me on my bed and rubbing my back.
  2695. “No, he hates me now.” I said gasping for air between wails. “But I don’t care.”
  2697. “I’m sure he doesn’t hate you,” Char said sitting at the desk “But if he gives in you’ll make him look like a fool. You got the best outcome out of this you could Alice,”
  2699. “I know,” I replied, “Can you change me Char?” I’d wet myself while talking to Daddy. I’d been really stressed and it was easier just to go than hold it in.
  2701. “Sure,” Vicky moved aside as Char turned me over and pushed up my skirt. She untaped my diaper as she pulled a box of wipes from under the bed, I saw Liz laugh a little from seat on her bunk.
  2703. “What’s so funny,” I asked as I stuck my thumb in my mouth, “It was your idea.”
  2705. “No, its fine, just now there’s two of you.” Liz responded
  2707. “Geeze,” Vicky said embarrassed, “I was going to tell her.” She raised the skirt up and showed me she was wearing a diaper too. “I kind of got jealous since you were going to be wearing them all the time… Liz promised not to tell, and Char said it was okay. I only wear them in the room though, I’m not going to risk public humiliation like you.”
  2709. “That’s cool” I replied “Do you mess?”
  2711. “Uggh, no” Vicky replied mildly disgusted, “I just hope Char changes you quickly when you do.”
  2713. “Sorry,”
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