[RGRE] Anon Tries to Buy Land from Twilight

May 11th, 2016
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  1. >Anon tries to buy land to build a house
  2. >Twilight makes things miserable for him at every turn b/c of her white-knight faggotry
  3. >It escalates
  5. "You can't tell me where I can and cannot build my god-damned HOME, Twilight!"
  6. >"I CAN if it puts you in DANGER, Anonymous!"
  7. "Then LET ME BE IN DANGER!"
  8. >You are Anonymous, and you are nose-to-terrible-horse-nose with Princess Twilight Sparkle.
  9. >You're having a bit of a disagreement over some land-ownership issues.
  10. >"A real mare doesn't just let-"
  11. "Fuck you! Fuck you and fuck your 'marely mare' BULLSHIT!"
  12. >The discussion is less civil than you would have hoped it would have been, but you're sure that you and she can come to an understanding.
  13. "Look at this! Do you see this here?!"
  14. >Grabbing your payment, you lightly toss your sack of bits in Twilight's direction.
  15. >You accidentally throw it at her, over-handed, as hard as you can.
  16. "This is my god-damned money, and I've read the laws! I've read them, Twilight!"
  17. >Wow you're dizzy.
  18. "The laws - whoo! Okay. Okay, wow."
  19. >"...are... you alright?"
  20. "Shut the fuck up, Twilight."
  21. >You stumble over to your seat, flip it back over onto its legs, and sit down.
  22. >Gosh, this is a little bit too exciting for little ol' you.
  23. >But you catch your second wind.
  24. "The laws clearly state that the ruling body cannot interfere with housing laws unless their reasoning falls under the provided list of 'good reason'!"
  25. >You provide the list to her much in the same way that you transferred your payment, but Twilight catches your accidental projectile in her magic this time.
  26. >"Those laws were written over two centuries ago, Anonymous! That was BEFORE stallions were allowed to buy and own property!"
  27. >Twilight gets all up in your business and you can SMELL the sweat coming off of her fur.
  28. >"Those are MARE'S LAWS and they apply to MARES! You are a STALLION; a STALLION who doesn't bucking understand how DANGEROUS it is to live near the Everfree!"
  29. >God dammit.
  30. >God FUCKING dammit!
  31. >You're going in circles.
  32. >You know what the weird part is?
  33. >You feel really calm right now.
  34. >It's as though you've looped over from "99999" back down to "00000" because your body can't HANDLE the fact that anger greater than "99999" could possibly exist.
  35. >You're mad enough to hate-fuck Twilight right now.
  36. >If she keeps going on about her bullshit white-knight business, you are going to hold her down and fuck her RIGHT UP the pooper.
  37. "My money is money, you shit! Take my money!"
  38. >You get up and shove Twilight like a child.
  39. "Just take it! Fucking take it!"
  40. >Twilight shoves you right back onto your seat.
  41. >"Not until you acknowledge that you need a bucking mare to-"
  42. >Aaaaand there's the tipping point!
  43. >You leap forward and mash your face against Twilight's, in a painful and considerably one-sided kiss.
  44. >You know.
  45. >To distract her.
  46. >[spoiler]From the impending dicking.[/spoiler]
  47. >To your surprise (and your growing irrational anger), Twilight manages to shove you away.
  48. >"What the heck was that?! Anonymous, why are you-"
  49. >You take the time given to you from stunning Twilight to quickly undo your belt and shove your pants down and off of your legs.
  50. >Twilight begins to back away from you, her anger turning to confusion and some small amount of fear.
  51. >"A-anonymous?! St-stop it! What are you doing?!"
  52. "If I catch you, I'm going to fuck you!"
  53. >"What."
  54. >You advance on her, your grin widening uncontrollably.
  55. >You're going to plunder that purple ponut if it's the last thing you do.
  56. "If I catch you, I'm going to fuck you!"
  57. >Twilight turns tail and runs, circling around the room and magically throwing obstacles in your path.
  59. >[spoiler]You caught her.[/spoiler]
  60. >[spoiler]You fucked her.[/spoiler]
  62. >In the end, you got Twilight to see things your way and she let you buy that plot of land for your house.
  63. >Sometimes she comes over and the two of you debate things like you did your housing problems.
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