This Isn't My Reality

Every day is just another obstacle on my way to you
My every breath conveyed until there is little to do
I dream forth your conceptualization
Yet society will break our harmony
Then I collapse in my realization
In this hell I will always be lonely

Try to speak and to be heard, but my words don't matter anyway
A world of infinite choices, yet in this world I have no say
Nobody likes the loud and autistic
Unless I am just a joke to amuse
In this world I wish to be intrinsic
What will it take just to not suffer abuse?

Should I be around all these others when I am unqualified
Is it love to burden you with this when I wish for suicide?

I dream forth your conceptualization
Yet in this world I deserve atrophy
Though my love deserves idolization
I can't exist in this reality

And in this reality, love has a bountiful supply
So here's goodbye