philTmonx

my current situation as much as I can divulge..

 I dont really care if parties form the "church" see this, yes there are identifiers, but no I do not attack, and the truth is just that..

 I have had an interesting if not different relation with the "church". Lines were drawn and I was not a willing participant...

the reason I currently am uncomfortable and have concerns re my family and my actions hurting them is simple. One dosent need to attack the

church for it to find discomfort and want to distance its self, as my situation...

 I actually turned to it for help with some very serious matters, and for that I was shut out. The problem was my mother had done some very

unethical, flatly criminal things involving me, ie forged my name on to statements for court and entered me into several contracts, knowingly not

disclosing them to me. She also had a man who she was engaged to 30 years ago provide her and my business partner with a fraudulent Dr note

TAILORED WORD FOR WORD AT HIS REQUST!!!!..

 there is the issue, he is actually one of CCHR listed examples of dangerous Dr... once i finaly got my hand on copy I disclosed it to my father,

as well as the blatent forgery, (she is an artist as well, we share an initial, but to say the least her had is very floral and distinct) my

father read the statement in my name and instantly dropped tone, and refused to read further...

he got involved in trying to contact her to help me straighten things out..

i know he was doing this under direction as he would not respond or interact with me, it took days to hear response about crucial criminal

matters, to wich the only and last response I got was my letter of disconnect, that it was to enturbulating to his health and case to comm with

me anymore..

I got involved with Brian and others at LACC trying to get help re the matters..

I had to go thru a complaint process with the medical board to get copy of my aledged medical records (all BS) in it, to the medical board he

tried to say my issues were with the church and how horrible a father I had yadda yadda...

all things my mother provided him to keep her out of it..

he goes as fa as aledging to have a deep undestandingand knowledge of the inner workings of the church, and had the nerve to mention their (my

father family) EMPLOYERS...

now mind you this man is under repremand from the medical board for his ethical flopps already, and he is nothing but an inturnist, he would have

no right to practice if I could prove his actions..

 I have never been diagnosed, treated, hospitalized, conservitorship, nada.. Ive never taken physc meds...

 Disgusted was not the word I had for this guy.. I saw red, BLOOD RED... I disclosed it to LACC asking for help, I did not want those statements

to get out in open court, cause it would be hurtfull to people not involved and made me a liability to my family..

that was my mistake, I should have never disclosed it, and while Brian tried to handle me I started to get mad and hurt.. it was apparent, more

important than my well being and safety from attack by who they already list as a danger to the public, the concern was to insulate me from the

Power... I was stunned. there was no way for me to work out of the condition..

 no I do not hold LRH or the "church" responsable... indeed I do hold them each to their own parts.. no one has ever been able to make me do

anything against my will nor will they.
 so i feel safe aand comfortable stating i got me one hell of a cunundrum....
 cheers and thanks again for this very comfortable space..

 I will state this in closing and post before I pull it off... the parties my family is so closely connected to, is without question one of the

most commented on parties involved with the church publicly..  if you cant read into to that, well Im sorry thats the best I can do for now..

that may change..

 Re: my current situation as much as I can divulge..
 im logging out now.. let that run for what its worth.. feels really good to speak on mattter ground into me that I should feel shame for

questioning.. bless and have a nice night..
 I will be back for more..

So my relationship with my fathers family has always been a little odd.. they opperrated on good roads good weather with anything involving my

mother.. whatever, we all have family chit.....

but it is something i always worked to cultivate and better. At 20 I bought them a car, knowing my younger siblings would be driving soon, and

that my father was contimplaiting buying an other bucket, as he as per par was not in good financial standings..

Any time there was a family issue or emergency I was there..

this includes closing my shop for over 30 days to travel to their state to clean up after his sister who had commited suicide..

this was of course at my expense as well, was supposed to be a few days, but no one else would show up, and just kept wasting my time, as they

did not want me to just pack up her things, etc, that her kids wanted to see it first..

all I got from that trip was an upset email about the $3oo in bills I had amounted in a month, my response was that the family should cover it, I

did my part, unless they palnned to repay my airfare which was multiple of that.

 After finding out my sister was living at CC, i desided to pay a calling to let her know that if she needed anything or wanted I was there..

at the time I had a home very close by in the hollywood hills.

I was excited about this new oppertunity.

first of all I had no Idea who she was working for, nor did I give a fug, I cared to try and establish a relationship with my own sister now that

she was an adult, living by herself in my state, blocks from me..

I had been by CC at my father direction a few times, not once was a reg ever able to get me to go on course.. whatever..

this time i parked off the lot and just walking down the side walk to the drive way, I never stepped foot on the property, a security gaurd on

foot, trying his best terminator tough guy look stopped me and asked me where I thought I was going, I told him, with out stopping I was going to

the lobby.

at this point he demanded ID, i was kynda laughing, I mean Ive been here before, my family are longstanding members.

he said I would not be allowd in and had to leave..

admittedly, I got my hackels up, and noticed I now was dealing with 3 gaurds..

I told them I didnt have my ID with me wich was true, and have always been welcome here in the past.

The group of pimple faced wannabe inforcers started trying to group question me, no problem, I easily was able to comfortable handle their silly

questions..

I told them fine whatever Ill leave, but indeed they would answer for it, that I had no problem KRing the silly little boy games.

I do have tattoos and such but still, it was dumb, especially cause CC had been trying to route me in from a lower org due to what they

considered my "celeberty" and the lower orgs I blew was not able to handle me or my ARC break with them (i did at a point tell whoever called my

cell to "stop calling my fucking phone" it was the reg and he tried to get me routed to ethics, a 16 year old kid!!!

who i enformed that indeed I did say that and would do much more if they did not respect my known demand to not call me on my cell, as i was on

set and I had it on for emegencies, but they were causing me issues", that ended up getting hummor, the reg had the balls to suggest i should

hire his cusin who was trying to learn my trade to replace me on the TV show so I could get auditing...

that was the last time he ever spoke to me, i was so pissed I reammed the little ethics kid and demanded he handle it. this is also why and when

CC tried to route me up)...

 I was able to get threw to them as i turned to leave exactly who I was there to see, pale face is all i can say was the reaction, with one of

them repeating her name a few times, they had a look of oh shit we are going to eat it for this flap. I told them id return with my Id and expected them to act accordingly..

 funny enough it caused enough of an issue that by the time I got to my car my sister was calling, asking me if i had been by CC, I infomed her

yes I had and explained that I was not to impressed with the way I was treated.

I was gaurenteed it would not be an issue further and that she'd talk with me about it, she set an appointment with me to meet later that day.

 When I returned the first gaurd seen me, I smiled and he wouldnt even confront me, I did dig in a bit an advised him that he needed to work on

his people skills and find his place in life..

or that others would direct him if need be, he was low tone to say the least..

I walked in to reception and told them who I was there to see, instantly "are you her brother, Ahhh weve heard so much about you, Ill go get her

for you.."

"while you wait will you watch..""no im good, I came to visit family in what is supposed to be my church and I have a lil snot nosed kid

aggressively try and tell me im not welcome, unable to explain why or what for, Id like to see my sister" I made sure to let it be known I was

not pleased with the treatment nor was it handled.

 My sister came bounding down with a smile, I can say that others were trying to be kind and faux welcoming, but i knew it was soley for the

disrespect i was shown prior..

 any way took sis to lunch, she repetedly appologised for the security, saying it had been tightened up as there were VIPs living there at the

time, I flatly told here I didnt give a chit who was there that it was silly, and that flaty told her that they needed to be more careful, as i

was in the public street, and if i had been public or an adverse party, it would have been an issue.

this did not exactly comfort her, but she said she understood.

she did tell me who she was working for, and expressed her plesure with it, i was happy for her, it sounded like a great job and experiance and

she said she was being taken care of.

i asked her about her living, and she related that she had been staying with an other girl in a small room, but that it didnt bother her, as she

was rarely there and what not.

I was pleased with the visit, tho I could tell that LA was still a big monster to her.

one example was her retelling of how entubulated day labors at home depot had made her one day, we both giggled about that.

I told her that there was a possibility I could get her a small personal place on my property if she was interested, that it was close to CC but

that she could have some me time there.

she was into it.. She moved into a small cottage in my yard. I was very pleased and happy I had family around and that I was available to her..

 anyway, her work kept her busy and i actually rarely saw her.. she kept saying stuff about a roommate and i was shocked it was a small place..
 I get a text from her, "I just wanted to give you a heads up pops and mom(hers) will be there tommorrow and that she was moving in.... I was

stunned and shocked.. hurt really..

 I was infomed that apparently my step mother had been out a few times in the past months for auditing and stuff for her job and that she had

decided to take it, and that in a few months the whole family would be out here..

I honestly was livid, I felt so insignificant and again not a part of what was supposidly my family, it brought up issues I had with my father

taveling to the city i lived in for 30 years with out so much as an invite to lunch, nothing...

It turned out that it was for the greater good I was not ever informed of even the possibility let alone hey, more people living on my property

oh yeah and its "family" I didnt go in my yard from that point till they moved at which time all 4 of them were living there..

thank you, its part of my connfussion..

Yes i ack that the way I personally grew up was odd, I felt very isolated from the world at times, but again, I have a hard time bitching, cause

the totality of my past experiences puts me here.

I like any other have had my highs and my lows.. part of why i belive i was always so driven is that I wanted approval, i wanted what i saw other

kids had with their families, I did not know that it was never to be...

I did belive that it was me and my fault, that i was the one who could make it right.. as for my fathers side, I never felt good enough or worthy

of the love he shared with his other kids.. so applying what I knew, this just meant work HARDER..

I was always reminded EVERYTHING IS MY RESPONSABILITY AND FAULT, that it was my choice be victim or at cause.. and the reality of that is i had

been victimized in ways I dont want to confront right now, and the shame definatly drove me to ensure I was at cause...


 also when you dont have room to fall back, well you just dont.. (no family and ZERO long term family friends) as uncomfortable as i was in my

skin and enviroment, i wanted better, was scared chitless of falling down.. touch back assists were always embarissing, I couldnt immagine what

would happen if i fell down in life.. (i did find out later and that cycle sucked..)

i learned early that for me asking for help meant I failed self.. and the result was always unplesent and demeaning.

It meant i was doing it wrong and at that point would be ground in how i was wrong and none of my effort was worth while..

I think thats what i longed for most i never heard "its ok better luck next time, dont worry about it it happens to the best of us, etc..."
 and yup, as no suprise Ive had the littiny of unhealthy relationships for it..

after a long few nights, I recognize I dont owe anyone anything re the church and secrets..

so I am willing to put this out for now.

My little sister is suri's nanny, and her mother runs the cruz house as its set up as an org..

It is Brian at LACC's fault I diluge these thing, MAN UP BRIAN. I GAVE YOU AMPLE WARNING TO HELP CORRECT WRONGS THAT LEAVE YOUR GROUP AT

LIABILITY.

AS FOR PUBLIC RECORD, MY TRIAL RE DR KIPPER (CCRH LISTED) STARTS NEXT WEEK..

I SHOWED YOU WHAT HE HAD TO SAY NAMING MY FAMILY THERE JOBS AND RELATION TO SCIO., YOU CHOOSE TO, AFTER NOT HANDLING ME THRU THREAT TO SAY YOU

HAD TO GO AND WOULD CALL ME BACK, MONTHS AGO, COMM LAG FAIL, AND AS I TOLD YOU WITH NO SUPPORT FROM THE GOUP, TO DEFEND MYSELF, MY ONLY OPTION IS

TO LEAN IN TO THE REPORT AND MAKEIT PUBLIC RECORD IN OPEN COURT..

ALSO IF ANY ONE WANTS TO KNOW HOW MUCH TOMMY SPENT ON HIS FLAMING PINK TRIM PACKAGE FOR HIS ESCALADE, I GOT YOU, I DIDNT EVEN DO THE JOB, BUT WAS

EASY TO FIND OUT.

SIDE NOTE THE BOYS AT THE SHOP HAD A GAS LAUGHING AT IT, AND ASKED ME IF THE GUY WAS GAY..(NO HOMOPHOB, BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT WAS, CUTE TO SAY

THE LEAST HAHAHA)

 MOORE TO COME, MUCH MORE..

 WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO BRIAN, I AM THE FLAP, EITHER WAY, I ALREADY LOST MY FAMILY (OR AS CLOSE TO THAT AS I EVER HAD) YOU CANT DO CHIT... YOU

CANT BAD MOUTH ME, ALL YOU CAN DO IS TRY AND DISTANCE YOURSELVES BUT ONCE IM IN OPEN COURT, ITS DONE..

 THANK YOURSELF..

 FOR MY PART YOUR WELCOME YOU FAKE WEAK CHUMP...

 ps it is the exact reason you never could get me on course or reg me for a damn thing... arent you supposed to be some wizz kid..

 I am just starting to put myself in exchange for your acts.. It is ethical, and I do not feel bad, why should I try and protect what has hurt me

so bad and cheated me out of what I hold dear unjustly, for your own gains.. you have been criminal in exchange and right now, IM GRINNING...

lets go..

 bessos,

 lovesphilth..

 *i will post my true photo as my avitar later today.. and no i dont mind a challenge.. I do like taking things head on.

So I am clear, my big break with the group was due to my reaching out for help to stop the desimination of black pr, of one of their cherrished

powers.

I was a victim to criminal fraud and forgery by my buissness partner.

my only goal was to get help keeping my family out of my personal battles with getting this handled..

they where given the documents, the admititn of forgeries and fraud, I did not ask them to fight my fight, I only wanted help protecting my

family and "group" from injury undue.

what will come out inn court is nothing short of slanderous aimed at the church, and the funny thing is, the Dr blames the church and my family

for neglect etc.. so, like I said, my only option is to lean right the fug on in.. I got 33 years of cht to talk, I have not even started.

aface, cheers, I really was sincear when I thanked you for your perspective.. I think its a lil ovious why I had my conncerns tho, right? like I

said you can be a liability to the group with out attacking..

 I figured this might excite a few.. and prolly enrage more.. cause aint a DAMN THING THEY CAN DO OR SAY WITH OUT LOOKING CHITTY.

lurker, thank you for taking the time and effort to so kindly and eliquently pass that on to me.. what you say is 100% valid, and i to have known

this for along time, now how much of it I would admit to self is the other filp to that.

 My intention for participating is not for a pitty party, we all have our chit, and I do not belive there is a perfect family or child hood,

there are some better than others..

I honestly am not upset by my childhood, it is what it was, and like ive said, regaurdless, it helped form my character and become who I am

today, wins downss and all..

I do like me, and I continue to work on me, thus my struggle with my situation at times..

It is not something easy to share, not so much out of shamme, but rather, its not relatable to most who have no experiance with peopel involved

with that "group"..

a side note, what some in my family consider falling down, basically for me I was always looked at as stats of my condition..

an example, I made the choice to shut one of my shops down, cause it was not doing so well at the time, i was struggling and working too hard to

keep just the doors open, I payed all my bills and met my debts, I closed to stay ahead.

But yes in some perverse logic, my family considred it a down stat move!!!!!

i was regressing.. on my part, I dont agree, and didnt...

 I really appreciate your consideration for my feelings and being productive in allowing me to feel comfortable here...
 now for the fun stuff, tooo much ick for now... read on, i expose a little more of my self, and Im sure most around these here parts will find

it interesting...
 Enjoy..
 and thank you again for the very thoughtful response


sorry companion not nanny.. wrong term now.. but yeah has been for 4+ years, shes the only long term, they burn em out...

they are lucky that being that they work for public, they are compensated for overtime well my sister was, my step mom may have been salary if im

not mistaken..

 but yes they run there home as an org, and boy is some of the chit they do just grim...

for instance the do not donate any of suris used anything..

It all is destroyed, when she was a baby they would always ship supplies out to where they were, cause you know has to be the same approved

everything..

at the end of their trips they would DESTROY all extra good so no one could resale etc suris goods.. this did strike me as odd, as there had to

be good causes that could have used it, dipers fomula etc.. crazy..and if you consider the locations of thier shoots and such its just mind

boggling wasteful and somebody thinks way too much about themselves...

really, im sure people would not have tried to resell unused pampers etc, Im sure there were families in need of those goods...

yeah right greater good.. It actually eked me so bad that for a few weeks I worked on plans for my sister to be able to institute a different way

to handle it, I developed what mirrored a retail master pack system to facilitate, that was a per day based way to sort store and ship the

goods..

I know she was very exscited with the concept, but it was not well recived, AS SHE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO DISCLOSE TO ME WHO SHE WORKED FOR.. but

yeah more for laters...