Contest Review

I am a bad reviewer, so bear with me.

Monday/Morning:

New Beginnings:
This was a great story which gives us a look at Iwanako after Hisao leaves his old school. Surprisingly, Iwanako doesn't get much attention considering how important she is to the story, but this fic really gave her a personality of her own. Her awkwardness around the subject of Hisao and her excitement over the new school year really defined her and made her likable almost instantly. It shows that Hisao wasn't the only one who took the chance to have a new start after the events of the confession.
>that ending
You cheeky fuck.

Idle Hands:
It's nice to see a story from Shizune's perspective and it's good to have the chance to do so without Misha interfering. Like the game itself, sometimes the two of them lose the spotlight and get lost in each other's shadow. Shizune dealing with a day without Misha is an interesting concept and it's also refreshing to see Shizune without Hisao tagging along. She doesn't get the chance to stand alone too often so writing about it is an interesting change of pace.

Daybreak:
Fun little view into Emi's life pre-Yamaku. Her thoughts are very much like Hisao's when he goes to the school, the anger they both have that the choice was made for them by others. Nurse is fun and the two of them together work so well as a team. Short, but it's a direct conversation, convincing Emi that life at Yamaku won't be all that bad and that she shouldn't think of it as a sign that she isn't normal anymore. The mention of Emi's boyfriend is telling and it's interesting to think that maybe the distance between them with her at Yamaku contributed to their eventual break up. Perhaps he wanted to make up for the separation by being more serious about dating and Emi was unable to comply.

Shizune's Glasses
Nope.

Tuesday/Afternoon:
Idle Hands:
I just want to repeat what I said before, that it's fun to follow Shizune around for a day. The ending intrigues me; did she forget? Did Shizune get carried away and Misah just slipped her mind? I hope this gets finished, because I want to see if Misha actually takes offense at what Shizune did, even accidentally.

To Hell and Back:
Fantastic story. There wasn't much variety in events, but I loved the banter between Hisao and Shizune. This is the sort of communication between them that was missing from the route. The ending was expected and somewhat rushed. The story being told from a secondary perspective takes away from the drama of the ending and it could have been played out longer, but it all wrapped up nicely in the end. Well done.

Wednesday/Evening:
Horizons:
I adore this story, but I'm biased. I love seeing what life was like for the girls before Yamaku and Lilly is my favorite to take a peek at. The life that Akira and Lilly share is how I would have expected it and it fits well into my own thoughts on the matter. Despite how different they are, they seem to get along so well and adapt well to one anothers quirks and flaws. We get to see a little of Lilly's time at her old school with both her admirers and her teacher. This was a lot of fun to read.

A Query:
I'm a little speechless because I'm not sure what to say about this. The writing comes off as needlessly complex, it's very difficult to read and get into the flow. I know this is fanfiction, but it sounds nothing like the Hisao we know from the game. The premise is confusing and it's extremely hard to follow. I see that there's technical skill in the writing, but I had a hard time enjoying the read for how over done it is.

Night Ops:
>Pause button on an arcade machine
ARCADE MACHINES DON'T HAVE PAUSE BUTTONS!
Sorry, that really pissed me off for some reason.
This story made me laugh out loud. I love it when Hisao and Kenji act like bros and you remembered to show Kenji's nicer side once in a while. I played a ton of arcade games growing up, so this one had nostalgia backing it up for me. Kenji keeping the act up that he had died was hilarious. This is the kind of fic I love reading. Thank you for writing it.

Night Comes Down:
Spacing, please. A new line should be started almost every time a new person begins to speak. Replies should come with a break on the dialogue.
Very cute, it's amusing to have Emi be afraid of thunder. I enjoy watching storms myself, so I can relate to this story. It was cute and romantic and very touching.