Some Hypothetical Ace Attorney Testimonials

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The Problem Here
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Cross Examination
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> So, according to you, the reason why I'm on the stand is because of a previous witness testimony.
> However, i was in the gallery throughout the entire trial, and other than his testimony, no actual evidence was presented showing my involvement.
> And speaking of his testimony, it was highly flawed as well.
> First of all, let us not forget that he is the defendant's best friend. There's always that possibility that he is not only biased, but is making his testimony up.
> But even if he wasn't, according to the detective earlier, the crime scene and the area around it was dark. It would be kinda hard to see me if i was actually there, especially if i was wearing dark blue and black clothing.
> Speaking of which, even if he could see someone wearing dark blue and black, plenty of others wear that color scheme, not just me.
> Furthermore, how can you be sure i was wearing that very color scheme on that very night? I could have been wearing literally anything else.
> Last but not least, he did not specify the time when he met this supposed individual.
> He could have met that person at any point before or well after the murder.
> In other words, even if we did hypothetically meet that night, if there's no connection between the timeframe and the murder....combined with the general lack of evidence.....
> There should be absolutely no reason why I'm on the stand now.
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Cowardice in the Night
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Cross Examination
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> I'll be honest. I have no place to call home, so i usually wander the streets.
> Last Night, i was walking like usual when i found that alleyway.
> Now, usually i wouldn't go into an extremely dark place like that, especially so late at night. But uh...well, while my brain wanted to leave, my body decided to check it out.
> i honestly don't know why. Maybe it was curiosity, or maybe it was something more. Whatever the reason, i went down there...
> And unfortunately my phone was practically dead. I couldn't use my flashlight.
> And next thing i knew, i tripped on some rubble i couldn't see. I tried touching the walls to slow my fall, but to no avail.
> Lastly, my hands touched something...odd. Next thing i knew, the pale moonlight shined down, and i saw the victim!
> Now, i was wearing gloves at the time, which would be why there was cloth fibers at the scene. Anyway, obviously i freaked out.
> I...i know i should have told the cops, but i was afraid. To be honest, i have had a long history of being blamed for stuff i didn't do. Not to mention i was extremely tired at the time. What if i was just imagining things?
> People have experienced weirder when they are tired you know. And after i found out that it was real well...i guess i was a coward. Perhaps i still am.
> Anyway, when i freaked, i also ran. That must have been when the previous witness saw me.
> So yes, i was at the crime scene, but it was after the murder occurred.
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Phantom Gunshot?
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Cross Examination
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> First off, the very premise of your whole "real murder weapon" theory is absurd. If a gun really went off that night, any of the witnesses would have mentioned it.
> And even if they didn't, surely the defendant would have.
> Also, the body was found with knife in his chest. If the victim was killed by a gun, surely the detective would have mentioned some kind of trace from the bullet.
> Furthermore, even if i, or anyone else shot the victim, there's no reason why they would have stabbed them as well.
> Finally, to be honest, i don't even own a gun, although admittedly i can't deny that fact that this point probably doesn't even mean much in the end.
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The True Killer
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Cross Examination
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> I still maintain my innocence. I killed no one.
> However, hypothetically speaking, let's say that i, or someone else shot the victim.
> But according to you, the victim was stabbed by a different person. And let's not forget the fact that the victim was stabbed in the heart.
> So now we have a dilemma on our hands. The gunshot or the stab wound: Which one killed the victim?
> If the victim died by the stab wound, then the shooter is not the murderer. Although they would still get a prison sentence.
> Furthermore, you did not present evidence that i was the true killer, or even the shooter.
> So, the chances of me being the culprit are just as high as the previous witness. He was by the crime scene after all.
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The True Evil
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Cross Examination
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> ....Fine. I won't deny i shot him. You have proven that fact rather well.
> I despise the fact that i did such a thing, but i can't change the past. I accept any punishment the court would give me.
> That being said, i was only proven to be the shooter. And it was proven that the victim was stabbed afterwards, thanks to you.
> But now we have a problem. If the victim was stabbed so close to when i shot him to the point where it fooled the police....
> Then surely the stabber would have noticed me somehow. And even if they didn't...
> Why didn't they call the police, or the hospital? They could have gotten medical attention!
> But no, instead, they let the shooter go free, and killed a injured, maybe even dying man.
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What's the point?
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Cross Examination
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> This trial is for the murder of Macintosh Frye, not anything else.
> You already proved my involvement. The shooting....the cover-up....
>Even if you didn't prove i had a motive, the evidence is still crystal clear.
> In other words, all you are doing is stalling the trial. Just let me get my guilty verdict done and over with.
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Your Illogical Delusions
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Cross Examination
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> This is making less and less sense as this trial goes on. First I'm a murderer...and now I'm some kind of secret government agent?
> You must surely realize that logic is ridiculous right? You didn't give evidence, just speculative theories!
> Furthermore, let's pretend for a moment that i was a secret government agent.
>That brings us into a dilemma: Did i kill the victim because the government told me to, or was it my choice all along?
> Obviously, if i WAS actually a secret government agent, i can't talk about this. Top-secret classified information after all.
> That being said...why would they want me to kill the victim in the first place?
> Furthermore, if i was a secret government agent, wouldn't the government have ways to protect me?
> Just let me get my verdict already. There's no further reason to continue this charade.
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I'm Invincible!
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Cross Examination
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> Fine. You are correct. I am a secret government agent.
> My mission was to eliminate the victim and collect some important paperwork.
> Even then..so what? Like it's already been stated in this trial, according to the law, if the government sends someone that works for them, whatever they do in other to accomplish the task given to them, as well as the task itself...
> Cannot be used to put them in prison. In other words, because i was just doing what the government told me to do, i cannot be incarcerated.
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