This is one of the major reasons I am contemplating suicide soon..
I am probably a bit older than you are.. A few years ago I listened to headphones too loudly for too many years and caused my self to get permanent ear ringing for ever, and also made my ears super sensitive and have to protect them from any sound, even medium-volume sounds that happen for too long.. It drove me in to years of depression and I finally realized I can't go on any longer like this; It ruined my life.. But I could at least blame my stupid self for this..

But I am a person who likes to educate my self on a lot of various topics, because I am naturally inquisitive, and lately the general awareness in the population about MGM (male genital mutilation) has been increasing.. More and more people are becoming red-pilled on the true meaning of what it means to be circumcised..

I became fixated on learning as much as I could about it (yes I was mutilated at birth, born in oklahoma in the 1980s), and what I found out about it was nothing good.. A dark feeling grew inside of me, but I couldn't stop reading more about it.. 4 out of 5 erogenous regions are severed off, and the 1 remaining (the head) then becomes keritinized to protect its self, because it has now become an external organ even though it is intended to be internal, so even the last remaining erogenous part becomes nearly useless compared to an intact version.. It is effectively numb compared to the insane sensitively that a natural one has.. On a mutilated penis, usually the scar tissue on the bottom of the shaft is the most sensitive part, which is nothing compared to all the rest of your penis parts and skin that was removed (which is usually about 50% of the total skin that is removed.. Sad to think I literally had half of the penis skin removed).. There are also about 48,000 sexual nerve-endings in a natural penis, but only about 8,000 in a mutilated one.. Some people are circumcised so tightly that it not only feels numb, but actually hurts to masturbate or have sex.. And the sliding action in a natural penis actually helps the woman feel pleasure and helps the penis glide in/out easily.. Being mutilated makes it very difficult to orgasm from oral sex.. And things rubbing the penis between a girl's breasts are impossible to orgasm that way for me.. But if you look at videos of that, you see it is easy for some one with an intact penis to do.. Spraying my penis with a shower-head is the same; it just feels numb and can't possibly orgasm from some thing like that with my mutilated penis.. Also, the mutilation process destroys lots of erectile tissue, which leads to mutilated penises having 4.5x higher average rate of erectile dysfunction, which basically means my penis needs to be turned on 4.5x more than an intact penis to start getting an erection.. I have been in many situations where I am with a girl and we are both literally naked and going to have sex, and I am mentally very arosed, but my penis was completely flaccid and now I understand why.. This is also why viagra hardly has any market at all except in countries that preform circumcision.. In israel viagra is so necessarily that they allowed it to become an over-the-counter drug instead of just prescription.. The original reason for circumcision was brash attempt at preventing boys from being able to masturbate at all.. Of course mutilated people can still masturbate, but it is a world of difference compared to an intact person.. Some people that have been mutilated at a later age sorely regret it, and describe being intact as seeing in full color, and afterwards being circumcised was like living in a grey-scale world with no color at all.. Of course now the medical societies come up with all sorts of excuses of why it is necessarily to hack off most of your penis, but all of these reasons are myths and completely unfounded when you actually do any research about it.. It is just because they don't want to admit that they have been making a mistake all these decades.. One more thing that bothers me about it: The amount and power that you shoot out when you orgasm is roughly correlated with how powerful the orgasm is.. I have never hardly been able to shoot out very much at all during masturbation; Some times I can shoot a little bit but it is rare and even then it isn't much.. But when I see videos on the internet of people being able to shoot big loads for a long time, they are always intact and not mutilated..

Do you understand how it makes a person feel when they find out all of this information??.. Do you know what I've been going through since I found out about all this stuff just recently?.. I now realize why every problem I've ever had with my penis is because my parents decided to pay a doctor money to have their own new-born child that they *supposedly* love mutilated for no reason.. I resent my parents and the doctor both.. Parents can't neglect to do any research about what circumcision really does and then be expected to be absolved of all guilt for ruining my entire sex life, love life, and every single time in my life I have masturbated!.. I can't forgive them..

I have already been suffering from my ear damage, but now this........this is the final straw.. I was looking on this site because I am thinking about taking my life soon, and then I saw your post, so I felt that I had to respond..

As far as *real* advice to give you: People can sugar-coat this issue all they want, because they don't want to see any person take their life.. But the cold hard truth is, yes there is a world of difference between intact and mutilated, and the sad thing is that you had the decision taken away from you.. Why can't they just wait until you are 18 and then ask you "Do you want all the best parts of your penis severed off?"?.. Even if it prevents diseases (which is a myth any way) it isn't like you are going to get penial cancer before you turn 18 and decide for your self if you want to be mutilated or not..
If it is a crazy idea to bust in to some 18-year-old's room and forcefully strap him down while screaming and mutilate his penis with out his consent, then it should be equally viewed as being just as crazy to do that when you are a baby.. Just because you are too young to understand english or give consent doesn't mean that the consent should defualt to "Yes please mutilate me".. I can't believe this barbaric mutilation is happening in the current year..

Real advice: I'm probably not going to make it much longer.. This is the last straw.. But if you want to continue living, then you might look in to foreskin restoration.. It takes years to do, and it will not bring back the 4 parts of your penis that were severed off, but it will at least put the head of your penis mostly back in to being an internal organ like it should be.. It will still never be near the same as being intact, but it will be better than having your head numb..

As for me, I have higher standards than what crap cards my parents decided to deal me.. I shouldn't *have* to go through years of foreskin restoration just to have a little bit of feeling returned back to the 1 erogenous part that they left me with.. If these parents couldn't care enough to do research of what circumcision entails, then they don't deserve to have a child.. My stupid mother couldn't even be bothered to stop smoking for 9 months out of her entire life while she was pregnant with me..
This life is over, at least for me.. I'm not even that sad about it necessarily, I just feel pissed off really.. I have higher standards than this.. I am not going to go through even more of my life knowing what I know now about what was taken from me.. I've already suffered enough..