Script: A Posthion He is Not

A Posthion He is Not
[LPH, Ancient Greece, f/m]
The lady of the house is most amused by the member her new slave is packing.




So you're the new brute my dear Agamon bought, are you? Tch, I don't see why he bothered. [resigned sigh] I don't suppose the gods have blessed me with a slave who can actually speak civilized, hmm? I won't have that gutter garbage you barbarians call speech spewn in these halls, I'll tell you that for nothing.
Well, out with it! Can you speak?

"Enough?" I'll have none of that disrespectful attitude in this house. Understand?

Good, good. Now turn around, let me see what I have to work with.

Hmmp, they certainly make them big where you come from, don't they? What are you, Gaul? Germanic? One of those bastard Thracians? On second thought, I don't really care.

[sniffs the air] Oh, gods above, is that you? I know you people are uncivilized but, ugh, do you wash yourself in animal fat, or something? Come, you're getting a bath. Now. And that beard will have to go, you look like a bear with mange.

And that... whatever THAT is, take it off. [calls to another servant] Anemone! Be a dear and burn these rags, will you?

You see that, slave? That's how you need to act: quickly and quietly. Anemone there has been with us for years and...

[attempting to stifle a chuckle, build into uncontrolled laughter]
W-what in the world is THAT? [more laughter continuing to break of dialogue] It's, it's like a- oh my, a baby's arm holding an apple!

Anemone! Anemone, come here!  Look at this! Go- go fetch my sister, she could use a good laugh.

Oh my, I needed that. [another fit of laughter] Even a satyr would laugh at that thing. You are an animal, aren't you? What, did you mother fuck a donkey? No, no, a bull?
No wonder you people live in squalor, you must rut like dogs constantly!  That's how you got captured, isn't it? You were sticking this thing in some poor woman and- [outburst of laughter]
No! I doubt you CAN fuck with this thing. Are all of your Gauls like this?
I can see why you still live in huts, your brains are pulled down by the weight of your lust. And this explains the violence, too! Trying to stuff these things into those trousers you wear, must really get your blood boiling, doesn't it?
You fight because your mothers fucked bulls, there's no way a man with a tool like that could father a child, and now you're too large to fuck yourselves. An endless cycle of bestiality! It's a wonder you don't have horns, or a tail!

Can this even get hard? I bet you'd pass out if it did, animal.

No no, I want to see it! There's some olive oil next to the bath, use it to rub yourself. I'm not touching that filthy thing.

C'mon, faster! I knew you'd be a flaccid brute when I first laid eyes on it. Go on, go one, just try to prove me wrong. Here, I'll even help you.
Anemone! Anemone, where are you, useless girl!

Fine, we'll have to make do. Just picture one of your tribe's bitches, rolling the dirt like a dog in heat. Spreading her hairy lips apart and biting her lip to take her mind off the pain you're going to give her. Imagine her wet for you, since I'm sure you've never seen it in person. Imagine-

Yes, that's it. Look at it. Look at you. Ugh, put your hand over the head, it's vulgar. You people cut yourselves, don't you? You try to make it smaller but succeed only in making it more grotesque.
Gods, it almost reaches your navel.

Anemone, there you are. Is my sister coming? Go fetch some wine, we have a party to plan. I want everyone to see this, this THING.