Suicide at the Castle [Pony]

This is set mid S3, before Discord reformation and alicornification

>I don't feel like writing a proper intro

From other thread, scene setting
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Favorite pony (Twilight) calls you disgusting
Least favorite (Dash) asks to hang out
>Dash notices that Anon was looking kind of down
>Decides to try to cheer up the ape

Actual story
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"Sorry Dash, but I kinda think you're a cunt"
"And I would totally cum inside you and all, but I can smell that you definitely don't wash down there."
>Maybe you were a bit hard on her
>Not that you really cared, nothing mattered now anyway
>The only reason you were here in the first place just blew up in your face, what more do you have?
>You were lost in your thoughts for a while
>You didn't even notice how upset Dash had gotten
>"You know what, that's cool"
>"Go ahead and be a disgusting shithead, see if I care."
>Your eyes continued to stare at her as she flew away, but they carried no message.
>Maybe Twilight was right about you, you certainly weren't setting a good image for the human race either
"Fuck it"
>You've had enough of this
>Normally this would have never crossed your mind, but you literally have no one to lose now
>At least, no one more than you've already lost
>Too bad you had no idea how to tie a noose
>Getting mauled in the woods sounds painful too
>After a while you decide upon jumping off the castle
>It was a good thing that you had diplomatic immunity, makes going to the castle that much easier
>You still had to take the God-forsaken train there though
>There were few things that you hated more than the Ponyville railways
>No one ever told you when the next train was coming, and they didn't have it posted anywhere either
>Some conductors wouldn't even let you on, labeling you as a "menace" towards the fillies
>Luckily though, today's spin gave you good old Tim
>That pony never did as much as raise an eyebrow at you, just focused on his job
>You climbed aboard and handed him your ticket
>...
>The train ride was a grueling as ever
>No matter where you stood you could feel their eyes on you
>The whispers weren't nearly as soft as they thought there were either
>Some time passes
>You see Canterlot approaching in the distance
>For a while you forgot why you were even coming here
>That didn't last for long though
>The towering castle in front of you spoke of power and beauty
>A nice image to see for you pass, you thought
>Ponies in Canterlot were a bit different then the ones in Ponyville
>While Ponyville's residents looked at you in disgust, Canterlot's snobs practiced complete aloofness
>You were used to this, but it still didn't make you feel any better
>You made your way to the entrance of the castle
>The guards let you in, as silent as ever
>You notice Celestia walking through the halls
>She stops you
>"Oh, Anonymous. I did not expect you here"
"Yeah, just dropping by"
>That was all you could come up with
>You were never good at coming up with scenarios
>You noticed an intriguing glare from Celestia
>"Very well then, carry on."
>You walk outside
>It truly was a beautiful view, you could see most of Equestria from here
>Aside from a few shadowy places, all the light touched was Princess Celestia's kingdom, and it was gorgeous
>You stepped up on the rail
>It was surprisingly silent, you could hear the wind brush by you
>You tried not to make too much of this situation, if you thought about it too much you might change your mind
>You closed your eyes
>You let one foot of the rail, and your second one shortly followed
>You didn't feel much as you fell, perhaps you just weren't concentrating on it
>At least it was peaceful
>Maybe a little too peaceful
>You felt a sense of weightlessness
>You assume that you've reached terminal velocity now
>Any second now it would all be over
>The glares, the rejections, the back breaking manual labor, everything gone
>...
>.......
>Okay now, just how high up were you?
>You opened your eyes
>You see the rail next to you
>Rather, you see the rail approaching you
>This state of confusion lasts for a while
>Your body manages itself back onto the balcony
>You were in too much of a trance to fully understand what was going on
>"Anonymous"
>It was abrupt
>Not loud, but it carried all the importance that it should
>You couldn't help but respond
"Yes-"
>Actually, you had no idea who you were talking to
>Before you could find out, you felt your body moving again on its own
>It wasn't before long you found yourself in the throne room of the castle
>The sensation on your body ceased
>For the first time in a while you were able to get a good look around
>You see a white figure in front of you
>"Anonymous, would you care to explain what you were doing?"
>The voice seemed to clear to you this time
"Nothing really"
>Celestia walks towards you
>"Anonymous, I want an exact recount of your actions after entering with this castle"
>The authority in her voice was too much
>You told her everything
>Even about Twilight's harsh words and your own towards Rainbow Dash
>You could tell Celestia wasn't too pleased about your actions
>Still, she showed no animosity towards them
>Rather, she was acting understanding and, dare you say it, motherly
>She listened to your affairs, and responds a bit coldly
>"Listen Anonymous, you can't let these things get to you"
>"I also can't have you killing yourself here either"
"How come?
>She looks very stern
>"Multiple reasons Anonymous"
>You weren't exactly feeling very comforted by this exchange
>"Do you honestly think that you're the only one who's suffered before?"
"Of course not, but-
>"Do you not think that others have experienced unrequited feelings before?"
>"And what of pain of loved ones?"
>"I myself can not count how many loves I've had, and how many I've lost"
>"But I had my kingdom to run, I couldn't give in to selfish desires."
>And there you had it, a glaring difference
"Exactly, you have countless people who rely and depend on you"
"Many ponies would grieve your absence and as such you had to survive"
"I on the other hand have no one."
"I gave up everything I had to come here, only to fuck up my life again."
"I'm completely alone now"
>She looks at you with heavy eyes
>"You are never alone Anonymous"
>"Separation is but an illusion"
>"No matter how far apart one may be, we are all still connected "
>"I myself feel a bit connected towards you as well"
>?
>You weren't exactly sure what was happening, but it sounded like some spiritual mumbo jumbo
>Besides that, what exactly was that last part"
>Before you could sort out all your thoughts, she continues to speak
>"It is decided then"
>"You shall live in my quarters for the time being, until you are able to make a full recovery"
>Recovery?
>All I did was try to off myself
"I don't exactly think that's necessary"
>"Nonsense Anonymous, now follow me"
>You followed Celestia down the seemingly endless corridors
>You had a bit of a limp in your step, still weren't feeling the best
>Celestia began to speak
>"I trust that you are familiar with my star pupil Twilight Sparkle"
"O-Of course"
>You still weren't over how what she said to you
>To her you were just some offensive, rude, and disgusting individual
>To be fair, you probably are a little out there
>But to hear those words from her own lips
>...You try not to think about it
>"My student Twilight continued her studies in the magic of Friendship with her acquaintances in Ponyville"
>Because of this, she was able to counter many odds, reforming my sister, defeating Discord, and saving the Crystal Empire."
>"It is for this reason that I believe you too should follow in here studies"
"What do you mean?"
>She stops
>"I mean to say that you will be learning about friendship here around Canterlot"
>"I want you to report to me your findings"
>You weren't exactly up to this
"And what if I refuse?"
>"Well I always have a spare room in the dungeon"
>"And trust me, I'll make sure that you survive"
"Well then"
>You couldn't think of a rebuttal
"But what about this, 'we're all connected' stuff"
>"I'll explain everything in due time, but my priority right now is your mental state"
>You were touched
>Sure she came off a bit professional and business-like, but you sensed that she cared about you
>You got a bit closer to her and you continued walking
>...
>You arrive in the spare room
>It was awe inspiring to say the least, giant windows and curtains everywhere.
>You felt out of place
"Princess Celestia, I don't need something this extravagant"
"Surely you have something a bit simpler?"
>"You may drop the princess, and think nothing of it"
>"If you need anything, feel free to ask any guard and they'll be happy to oblige"
>"You can also bug my sister too, she doesn't get that much socializing in anyway"
"T-thank you very much Celestia"
>You almost had to choke that one out
>Shit, you can feel tears coming
>You turn away
>To your surprise, you see a handkerchief suddenly find itself on your face
>"Please Anonymous, there is no need to cry"
>"Now if you could wait while arrange something for you, that would be great"
>You try to get a hold of yourself before she walks out the room
"You can just call me Anon you know."
>She remains silent for a while
>"Of course, Anon"
>"Wait here"
>You found yourself alone again
>This time feels different though
>There was someone waiting for you
>There was a reason to wake up in the morning
>And holy shit was this bed comfy
>You were a bit curious about what Celestia was arranging for you, but you were too preoccupied in exploring your room to care
>To your dismay, all the drawers were empty
>The room suddenly seemed a lot emptier than it had before
>You decide to chill on the bed and think to yourself for a while
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>...
"Really!?"
>...
>"But you can't, he-"
>...!
"Alright, I understand"
>"So I expect you there by 8:00"
"Of course princess"
>"I'll see you then Twilight"
>With that she left
"Just what does she see in that guy?"
>You had just been informed of Anon's recent suicide attempt
>Now Celestia wants you and your friends to pay him a visit
>You didn't care too much for him, but you decided to put your feelings aside for the sake of professionalism
>After all, you trust your mentor knows what she is doing
"Spike, come here!"
>You hear his frantic footsteps as he runs to join you
>"Yes, what is it Twilight?"
"You're going to need to be in charge of the library while I'm gone"
"Celestia has called for me and my friends in Canterlot"
>He pouts a little
>"And I'm not invited? What does she want you there for anyway?"
>You look away
>"We're to meet with Anonymous"
>"The human, what for?"
>Shit, can't tell the young dragon about his suicide
>He may be stronger than he looks, but you don't feel the need to worry him about these matters
"She just wants us to tell him about friendship"
>"Smells fishy if you ask me"
>"But whatever, I've got the whole place for myself"
>You give him a stern look
>"T-that I'll keep tidy and organized, stop your worrying already."
>You weren't so sure about that, but you had no choice
>You left to gather your friends
>Luckily, Rarity wasn't too far away when you went outside
>In fact, she was buying materials at the nearest store
>You approach her and tell her the situation
>...
>"Good heavens, he really went that far?"
>"Hmm, I'm not that well versed in human attire but I'll make sure to whip something up for him post haste"
>She's being awfully generous
"How well do you know him anyway Rarity?"
>"Oh not that much, but Sweetie Belle certainly seemed to take an interest in him"
"She told you that?"
>"Well my information might have been a tad more indirect than that, not that it matters."
>Right
>You move onto your other friends
>Sugarcube corner was close by
>It would seem that Pinkie was next on the list
>You enter the establishment, but before you can even make it to the ocunter you feel a sudden force topple on you
>"Hiya Twilight, Rarity!"
>You exchange greetings
"Pinkie, I have something to tell you about Anon"
"You see-"
>You were interrupted before you could continue
>"Oh it is simply dreadful dear, I have no idea how it could of happened."
>"Sounds serious, what happened?"
>Your place in this conversation was gone
>...
>"No way!!!!"
>"That's awful!"
>"That guy's in call for a special Pinkie Pie brand greeting on the double!"
>"Come on girls, lets go get Applejack!"
>Pinkie has taken full charge of the situation
>Fortunately, it was what you were going to do anyway
>You made your way to Sweet Apple Acres
>Pinkie was in the lead the entire way
>You approach a closed barn
"Well I don't see her in the fields, so she must be insid-"
>You hear a sudden pounding on the door
>"Applejack! Come out here this instant!!"
>The doors open slowly
>You see Granny Smith
"Why Hello Granny Smith, do you know if-"
>"Tell us where Applejack is!"
>Granny Smith appears a bit confused, but before she can speak up another pony approaches from behind her
>"Ah'm right here Pinkie, hold your breath for once"
>You take this moment to explain the situation
"Applejack, Celestia wants us to pay a visit to Anon "
"It seems he tried to end his life recently, the princess thinks this might cheer him up"
>"Really now, aint that something"
>"Never knew the fella, tried to apply for work but here at Sweet Apple Acres we take pride in our family oriented business"
>"Why did I ever tell you the time we all got together just to harvest one apple tree?"
>"I tell ya that tree was stubborn, but we-"
>Rarity spoke up
>"Now darling, I'm sure your apple story is great, but we've got a schedule to keep!"
>Hey, that's supposed to be your line
>"Shoot, I guess I did get caught up in my stories, I'll tell you on the way then"
>You made your way to Fluttershy's cottage
>Unfortunately, it was locked and completely dark inside
>"Now just where is that gal, she barely ever leaves her house!"
>You wondered about this as well
"She could be in the forest, but it seems a bit unlikely, all things considering"
>"Well she aint feeding her chickens"
>"Nor is she caring for angel or anyone else", Rarity added
"I guess we have no choice then"
"Pinkie Pie and Applejack, you too search the woods"
"Rarity and I will look in Ponyville"
"We'll reconvene in the center of town, make sure to take the same path we usually do"
>With that you went back to town
>You and Rarity search around Ponyville in Fluttershy's usual spots
>Rarity begins to speak to you
>"So Twiliight, I can't help but notice you're not too thrilled about all of this"
>You sigh
"Well to be honest Rarity, I'm not"
>"But why?"
"I don't really want to talk about it, he was just plain crude"
>"Well how so?"
"Well he, "
>You stopped to think
"Well when I first saw him , I noticed him staring at some rather crude places of all the town's citizens"
"Plus his language, it's like he has no grasp of politeness
"I've heard him talking to ponies, and he wasn't that kind
"And he has a horrible sense of humor!"
"It's like he doesn't have a single ethic in his body!"
>You stopped when you realized that you were ranting
"Let's just say I don't get along with his types, okay?"
>"Fair enough, although I do think that you're getting a bit more worked up then you should be dear."
"Let's just keep looking for Fluttershy"
>You continued to scan to ground and sky, when you noticed a blue streak out the corner of your eye
"Rainbow Dash, come here!"
>The cerulean pegasus heard your call
>She flies down to greet you
>"Hey girls, what's shakin'?"
>"It's Anonymous dear, it seems he's at the end of his rope"
"Yes, and now Celestia is having all of us talk to him about the magic of friendship"
>Rainbow Dash didn't seem to take that very well
>"Uh-uh, no way am I cheering up that gorilla!"
>"That guy's a total dick."
>Rarity takes you aside and whispers
>"It would seem our friend here has made quite the impression"
"Look Rainbow Dash, I don't care for him either, but these are Princess Celestia's orders."
>"You Wouldn't want to betray your princess would you?"
>That seems to have loosened her a bit
>"Of, of course I wouldn't!"
>"But he called me a cunt and practically tried to rape me then and there!"
>You gave Rarity a "I told you so look"
>She glared at you, but it was obvious she was feeling a bit uneasy herself
>Still, she took his side
>"Well maybe he just wasn't feeling himself that day"
>Rainbow immediately rebutted
>"I'm not buying it, but I still have to go, don't I?"
>You both nod
>"Fine then, but we better make it quick"
>You suddenly light up, remembering about why you were here
"Rainbow, have you seen Fluttershy anywhere?"
>"Oh, yeah."
>"We were just hanging out, she's probably home by now."
>You tell Dash how you had split up
>You wait at the rendezvous point
>Sure enough, you see AJ, Pinkie, and Fluttershy all coming towards you
>She's looking a bit down, apparently she's already been debriefed
>It felt like forever, but all your friends are here now.
>And Applejack's here too
>You all exchange some looks, and you decide it's time to pay the human a visit
>You and your party make it on the train and give the conductor your tickets
>It was a normal ride, nothing in particular happened
>...
>You made it to Canterlot Castle
"8:45..."
"We're late"
>You hated that you had lost so much time looking for Fluttershy, but you put it behind you
"Well, lets go girls"
///////////////////////////////////////////////
>You're still just lounging about in your room
>It's getting late
>You had thought about pestering one of the guards, but you decide to try to keep a good image here
>Besides, they aren't exactly the most approachable bunch out there
>The loneliness was kicking in
>You looked around for anything sharp
"Figures"
>Celestia already had the room prepped
>You really didn't feel like going through the trouble of killing yourself now anyway
>Rather, you just wanted to lay there, alone
>This status lasted longer than you would have liked
>For a while, you continued to lay
>...
>You heard the door creak
>It was Celestia
>"Hello Anon, I'm sorry to say that things are running a bit late"
>You still weren't sure what she meant, but something was supposed to have happened by now apparently
"Eh, it's no problem Celestia."
"Nothing I'm not used to."
>Celestia didn't seem too pleased with your grumbling
>She held out a wing behind you and grabbed you ever so slightly
>You could feel her warmth emanating from her body
>You felt safe
>You didn't want to leave this state
>The two of you sat in silence
>It was a while until one of you spoke up
>"Well I must be getting back to my duties Anon, I'm sure that if you just wait -"
>Her concentration was broken by the echoing sound of the large entrance being opened
>"It would appear that it is time, please wait a little while longer"
>You've had just about enough of waiting, but Celestia's words were calming
>You lay on your bed, missing the previous warmth you had felt
>It wasn't too long though until you saw a familiar set of ponies enter through the door
>Fuck, Twilight was there
>And Dash too
>Oh shit, you were pretty rude to her weren't you?
>This is it, this is how you die
>But not if I kill myself first
>The balcony wasn't too far away, surely a second time would- "
>You didn't realize how tense you had gotten until Celestia came back in and offered out an extended wing towards you
>You look up at her, like a sad puppy
>She tilts her head a gives you a smile
>You look back at the 6 ponies in front of you
>Dash still looked angered
>Applejack looked a bit apathetic
>Fluttershy was hiding behind her wing
>Rarity and Pinkie Pie seemed to be the most caring, with ponk almost in tears
>Fuck, you definitely didn't deserve this
>You were scared to look at Twilight, but sure enough the two of you locked eyes
>It was only for a moment, but you saw that same look of disgust as she had given you before
>You felt like tearing up right then, until Pinkie spoke up
>She could sense the tension in the room
>"Anon!"
>"What do you think you're doing!?"
>She was so quick in coming to your side that she almost tripped over her balloons
>You weren't really feeling the sympathy in her words, but you never did with these types
>Still, you believe that's just how she was
>She seems to have broken the ice a bit though
>Rarity took the stand
>"Darling, I have no idea why you would do what you would ever think about what you did, not when you have so many people who would miss you!"
>Her words felt empty too
>She didn't know you
>You couldn't believe it
>You hated this
>This was what you've always wanted
>But it wasn't right
>Nothing was
>These ponies didn't care for you, barely any of them even really knew you at all
>Eventually the other ponies followed suit , giving their own words of praise
>Hollow
>Every single one of them
>You could tell how forced Dash's was
>Twilight was last, but even for her you didn't believe it
>You knew it all too well
>She hated you
>...
>The pity party continued, making sure everyone got their share
>You couldn't wait for it to end
>If everyone else was going to force their smiles, you were too
>You accepted their praise, and apologized when you had to
>Dear God, make it stop
>...
>It was eons before they finally finished.
>You had a feeling some of the responses came prepared before hand
>They all left the room
>Not one of them even gave a final look before they left
>Not even Pinkie Pie
>Celestia looked happy for her star pupil
>Proud of her for apologizing and handling the situation maturely
>You couldn't tell her how you really felt, not after this
>"Well Anon, do you feel any better now that you've experienced real friendship?"
>You think for a while
"Yeah, I think I do."
>She looked pleased
>"Well then I expect you to write me a passage on what you've learned today."
>Great, having to bullshit an essay
>You felt like you were in school again
>She hands you a scroll and quill and exits the room
>"I'll be retiring for the rest of the night"
>She lets out a yawn
>"I really should of been in bed a long time ago, I have to get up in a while to raise the sun"
>"Well, see you Anon"
"Yeah, see you later Celestia"
>You looked at your scroll and quill, and back again
>You thought about your circumstances
>You were never going to be honest with her after that
>You at least knew yourself in that regard
"I can't deal with this"
"Well, Celestia's Asleep now, maybe now's my chance"
>You slowly walk up to your door
>Pitting a hand on it, you reluctantly push forward
>And it doesn't budge
>Your door's locked from the outside
>There's guards at every corner outside your window
>They look pretty durable too, there's no way you could break them
>This is hell
>And there's no way out
>You get frantic
>You're searching all over the place for something, anything to end your suffering
>There's no sheets on the bed
>No pillow
>You can't choke yourself, you'd just loosen your grip when you went unconscious
>The drawers are cushioned
>Eventually you give up and just go to sleep
>You'd write your "friendship report" in the morning
>The days are awful
>Guards are always watching
>You can never do anything out of their watchful eyes
>You gave up everyone who loved you to come here
>You were a fool
>There was no one here who knew you
>There was no one here who cared to know you
>Twilight hated you
>You've ruined your relationship with Celestia
>Now every time you meet is just for the annual "doing fine!"
>Even if you wanted to be honest she's always too busy with royal duties to pay attention
>No one outside is warming up to you
>They just fear the guards
>You have Celestia's full protection now
>And it's the worst thing in the world
>You give up
>You're dead inside
>You've become so used to your daily routine that you eventually stop thinking
>It's over
BAD END