Martin

[03/25/2019]
07:10 [Taernason]: Left the Lionwatch I see...
07:11 [Elletee]: You see correctly.
07:11 [Taernason]: How goes?
07:11 [Elletee]: Goes. You?
07:11 [Taernason]: Same..Goes.
07:14 [Taernason]: Truce??
07:15 [Elletee]: Didn't realise we were fighting.
07:15 [Taernason]: Alright..nvm..
07:16 [Elletee]: Safiya made your opinion of me very clear so what's changed?
07:16 [Taernason]: I dunno...I have still known you forever..
07:17 [Taernason]: I guess that still counts for something in my book..
07:18 [Taernason]: But nothing has per say changed...But I am not one to stay angry forever..It's not really my thing.
07:19 [Elletee]: You don't need to make a truce with me to RP with the Lionwatch. As you noticed I'm not in it anymore.
07:19 [Taernason]: Fuck the lionwatch
07:19 [Taernason]: I said that then
07:20 [Taernason]: I say it now
07:20 [Taernason]: Never cared for Ethric or his guild
07:20 [Taernason]: I cared about you..
07:20 [Taernason]: Dummie..
07:20 [Taernason]: <.<
07:20 [Taernason]: I have no interest in rping with the Lionwatch
07:20 [Taernason]: wether you are in them or not
07:20 [Elletee]: According to Safiya you want to punch me in the face in real life.
07:21 [Taernason]: Yea I did..
07:21 [Taernason]: I was angry
07:21 [Taernason]: And hurt
07:21 [Taernason]: And you know what? I was that for about a week
07:21 [Taernason]: And then I was more sad for not speaking to you
07:21 [Taernason]: Than I was angry
07:21 [Taernason]: So yea..
07:21 [Taernason]: I said a lot of nasty stuff out of spite...
07:21 [Elletee]: Yeah I know.
07:23 [Taernason]: I am not going to defend that or talk around it...I said a lot of stuff out of spite..And I regret just about all of it..
07:23 [Taernason]: It came from a place of anger and frustration...
07:23 [Taernason]: Not entirely without cause or reason of course..But it was still out of spite..
07:26 [Elletee]: It's been almost half a year, what's suddenly changed?
07:26 [Taernason]: I cooled down??
07:27 [Taernason]: Why is that hard to believe??
07:28 [Elletee]: You've known me long enough to know my past. When someone makes a threat to physically harm me I'm hardly going to brush it off as nothing.
07:28 [Elletee]: And that level of anger doesn't just cool down
07:28 [Taernason]: Well yea..It did not come from a place of love..
07:29 [Taernason]: I can tell you that..
07:29 [Taernason]: I don't know what changed...
07:29 [Taernason]: I saw you log online
07:29 [Taernason]: I saw you were not in a guild..And knew you had not been in it for a little while atleast..
07:29 [Taernason]: And I figured...I wanted to say hi...Because despite what I said about punching you...
07:30 [Taernason]: I also happen to remmember all the other things I have said to you..
07:30 [Taernason]: And..That's a lot more good than bad..
07:31 [Taernason]: ...
07:32 [Taernason]: I told you I loved you..You told me that was not possible..I have known you for 10 years...I believe I am quallified to discern what emotions I feel...
07:33 [Taernason]: And to be honnest...I am still bit confused on that front every time I see you log on....
07:33 [Taernason]: So yea...Nothing changed...Except maybe now I am a bit more clear headed about what I actualy feel.
07:33 [Elletee]: Why have you kept me on your friends list in the first place? You made it very clear you didn't want to keep in contact.
07:34 [Taernason]: Because despite what I said...
07:34 [Taernason]: I could not let go..
07:34 [Taernason]: <.<
07:34 [Taernason]: Despite my best efforts..
07:35 [Taernason]: I am sorry...Okay? Sorry for badmouthing you as I did...I don't expect you to understand why...you did not seem to then...
07:36 [Taernason]: But I am sorry.
07:38 [Elletee]: Water under the bridge.
07:38 [Elletee]: I'm running out of sub tonight and not renewing anyway so you won't have to see me logging in and out.
07:39 [Taernason]: ...
07:39 [Taernason]: Some timing huh.
07:40 [Taernason]: Well...I still like you to bits...1 year..5 years..10 years...An arguement or two...Half a year of silence...
07:40 [Taernason]: So...What I am going at is...I am still here if you need me Nonna...
07:40 [Taernason]: :)
07:41 [Taernason]: And I am sorry how it all turned out....
07:41 [Elletee]: How what turned out?
07:42 [Taernason]: All of it??
07:43 [Taernason]: Our relationship? Our friendship? 10 years of history?
07:43 [Taernason]: All of it..
07:43 [Taernason]: Is it so hard to imagine that I actualy miss you???
07:43 [Elletee]: Yes. It is.
07:43 [Taernason]: :S
07:44 [Taernason]: Well I do.
07:44 [Elletee]: You're far better off without. Everyone is.
07:45 [Taernason]: ....
07:45 [Taernason]: Maybe I am...
07:45 [Taernason]: But I never were the smartest...
07:45 [Taernason]: :P
07:45 [Taernason]: I do miss you...
07:45 [Taernason]: Have missed you for a while...
07:45 [Taernason]: Long while....
07:47 [Taernason]: I mean it.
07:49 [Taernason]: I mean...I can't force you to talk to me..And I won't.
07:49 [Taernason]: But I thought I wanted to let you know..
07:49 [Elletee]: I'm just tired.
07:49 [Taernason]: That it's still an option.
07:50 [Elletee]: What's there to talk about? Nothing's changed. I'm still reclusive, evasive, depressed.
07:50 [Elletee]: And it does your head in.
07:51 [Taernason]: Forget my head for a second..
07:51 [Taernason]: Add me on facebook...And don't let me loose you for the third time in my life, just when I mustered up the balls to write you again..
07:52 [Taernason]: :(
07:52 [Taernason]: You may be reclusive, evasive and depressed....I am a fucking mess myself..
07:53 [Taernason]: But I have always been clear on my feelings regarding you..
07:53 [Taernason]: As you said yourself..
07:53 [Taernason]: Nothing has changed..
07:53 [Taernason]: That includes them...
07:54 [Taernason]: And I am tired too...And I know you have issues dealing with all this..
07:54 [Taernason]: Major issues even..I dont care..
07:55 [Elletee]: You don't love me. You love the idea of loving someone.
07:56 [Taernason]: Nice try..
07:56 [Taernason]: i am smarter this time..
07:56 [Taernason]: You are not pushing me away that easily..
07:56 [Elletee]: If you were smarter you wouldn't be speaking to me.
07:56 [Taernason]: Snap..I got no comeback on that....
07:58 [Taernason]: But fancy insult or not..
07:58 [Taernason]: I am right here..
07:58 [Taernason]: Call me dumb if you like...I might be.
07:58 [Taernason]: Might be dumber than every
07:58 [Taernason]: Might be why I am writing
07:59 [Taernason]: But I am still here...
08:00 [Taernason]: Wether you want me or not..Or wether you could just use a friend.
08:00 [Taernason]: I am here.
08:00 [Taernason]: Whatever you pick..I am always here
08:00 [Elletee]: You can't do that.
08:00 [Taernason]: I just did.
08:01 [Elletee]: So you're going to sit there for the next ten years added to the ten years before and wait for me to change?
08:01 [Elletee]: You can't do that.
08:05 [Taernason]: Watch me..
08:07 [Taernason]: I am here..Wether you want me to or not..
08:07 [Taernason]: I ain't leaving..
08:08 [Taernason]: I told you already..Never.
08:11 [Elletee]: I'm sure your future partners will appreciate that.
08:11 [Taernason]: Fuck them
08:11 [Taernason]: I dont know them
08:11 [Taernason]: I know you..
08:11 [Taernason]: Have done for over a decade
08:12 [Elletee]: I'm not the person you met ten years ago anymore.
08:12 [Elletee]: You don't know me.
08:13 [Taernason]: Yea?? Well tell me something i dont know then
08:14 [Elletee]: Too many changes to mention.
08:15 [Taernason]: I asked for one..
08:15 [Taernason]: Not all
08:15 [Elletee]: It's not a matter of things. I am a different person now.
08:17 [Taernason]: Yea well you ought to know me atleast by now.
08:17 [Taernason]: You honnestly think I am about to give up on you?
08:17 [Taernason]: No matter what you say?
08:21 [Taernason]: Hate me if that's what you want..Or call me an idiot or stupid..That's your perogative..
08:23 [Taernason]: But when you are feeling low..Or if you just need a friend..
08:23 [Taernason]: Write me..
08:24 [Taernason]: I am still your friend before anything..
08:24 [Taernason]: That has not changed..
08:24 [Taernason]: And you may not feel anything for me...I can accept that..But I am still here.
08:25 [Elletee]: Why?
08:25 [Taernason]: Because I do love you....And I know what love is..It is unconditional..
08:25 [Taernason]: And so is this..
08:25 [Taernason]: You dont have to feel a thing for me..
08:26 [Taernason]: I feel plenty for both :P
08:26 [Elletee]: That's not healthy.
08:26 [Taernason]: Says you?
08:26 [Taernason]: XD
08:26 [Elletee]: Excuse me?
08:26 [Taernason]: It was a joke..You called yourself reclusive and Evasive..
08:27 [Taernason]: Thats not healthy either..
08:32 [Taernason]: But yes..
08:32 [Taernason]: I am here..So if you run out of subscribtion..Add me on facebook..
08:32 [Taernason]: Lets atleast be friends again?
08:36 [Elletee]: Have you apologised to Ethric?
08:37 [Taernason]: I have not..
08:38 [Taernason]: Is that a requirement??
08:39 [Elletee]: I am not stating terms, I'm asking a question. As far as i know you stated you want to punch him as well.
08:39 [Taernason]: I have not apologised to him
08:39 [Taernason]: I have not spoken to him at all
08:40 [Taernason]: And I had no intention of doing it either tbh...
08:40 [Elletee]: Why?
08:41 [Taernason]: Because I do not like him..Never did, even before this issue..
08:41 [Elletee]: What -issue-?
08:41 [Taernason]: You know what.
08:42 [Elletee]: Oh, yes, when I came a possession allegedly exchanging hands?
08:43 [Taernason]: You know thats not how I saw it...
08:43 [Taernason]: That was your interpretation of what I said.
08:43 [Elletee]: That was what I was told.
08:44 [Taernason]: Yea? I said "You are an item, I own you?"
08:45 [Taernason]: I remmember now...
08:45 [Taernason]: <.<
08:45 [Taernason]: Oh wait..No I don't..Because I never said that.
08:46 [Taernason]: I said I was pissed that you said you liked me and two weeks after you had joined Ethrics guild..A person I had already mentioned I hated..
08:46 [Taernason]: And then proceeded to not dismiss any thoughts I had regarding it.
08:47 [Elletee]: And what thoughts were those?
08:48 [Taernason]: That something was going on between the two of you...And when I voiced my fear you just utterly dismissed me
08:48 [Elletee]: We were friends.
08:48 [Taernason]: And refused to answer me for days
08:49 [Elletee]: There was sweet fuck all between us.
08:49 [Taernason]: Yea but when I inquired about it you did not dismiss such
08:49 [Taernason]: Infact you did not answer at all
08:51 [Taernason]: I spent days trying to figure out what was going on..While the IC relationship crumbled, you just smiled and waved from the OOC sideline almost..Made me feel as if I ruined it over some IC issue..
08:51 [Taernason]: I felt terrible...
08:51 [Taernason]: And then he starts popping around icly..Being a dick about it
08:51 [Taernason]: So yea..Obviously I felt threatened.
08:52 [Taernason]: And any attempts to calm myself by trying to talk with you about it was rebuffed..
08:53 [Taernason]: And despite all that shit..For some reason..I still want to be your friend..So perhaps you are right..Perhaps I am fucking idiot..
09:01 [Taernason]: Or do you simply not like me??
09:02 [Elletee]: That's manipulation and you know it.
09:02 [Taernason]: No it's not...Not this time
09:02 [Taernason]: I am asking because I am in doubt for real now
09:02 [Elletee]: "Not this time"?
09:03 [Taernason]: Not this time..Not ever..
09:04 [Taernason]: The few times I have tried you busted me and I admited to it
09:04 [Taernason]: But this ain't it.
09:04 [Taernason]: It's a legitimate question..
09:05 [Taernason]: Just answer me...
09:05 [Taernason]: Please.
09:05 [Elletee]: In all honesty? Your timing is very suspicious and I do find it very difficult to like someone who not only threatens me with physical violence but also does the same to a friend of mine
09:06 [Taernason]: Thats about the first honnest thing I think I have heard you say in a long while..
09:06 [Taernason]: And alright..
09:07 [Elletee]: Well if that's how you view me then I guess that solves the problem.
09:07 [Taernason]: My timing is suspecious? Please I write you because I wanted to..It has nothing to do with your wow running out..
09:08 [Taernason]: I did not even know it
09:08 [Taernason]: Until you mentioned it
09:08 [Taernason]: And yea I threatned with physical violence...Because you hurt me deeply..And I threatened your friend because he was a dick..
09:08 [Elletee]: And I'm sure it also has nothing to do with me no longer being in Ethric's guild.
09:08 [Taernason]: Ofc it does.
09:09 [Taernason]: It has loads to do with that.
09:10 [Taernason]: I hate the man
09:10 [Taernason]: Always have
09:11 [Taernason]: Ever since he was in Grim Dawn
09:11 [Taernason]: I hated that you joined his guild..I hated it..
09:11 [Taernason]: Deeply.
09:11 [Elletee]: Several of your friends are in the guild
09:12 [Elletee]: So don't give me that.
09:12 [Taernason]: You joining it..And some of my friends joining it..
09:12 [Taernason]: Is not the same
09:12 [Taernason]: Besides..They left afterwards..
09:13 [Taernason]: And none of them ment half of what you did..
09:13 [Taernason]: Its not the same at all!
09:15 [Elletee]: Lizbelli and Katie are still in it and Safiya's been repeatedly thrown out and is no longer welcome
09:15 [Elletee]: So, again, no.
09:15 [Taernason]: Lizbelli is not in it anymore
09:15 [Taernason]: Katie is Liz's friend
09:16 [Taernason]: Not mine
09:16 [Elletee]: She is.
09:16 [Taernason]: And Safiya was hardly a friend..Just...Some random wench I complained to...
09:16 [Taernason]: Not to my knowlagde..
09:23 [Elletee]: So suddenly because I've left the guild I'm a better person
09:23 [Taernason]: No..
09:24 [Taernason]: You are not..
09:25 [Taernason]: You are not a worse person either
09:26 [Taernason]: I guess it just makes me more incilined to write you in the first place
09:27 [Taernason]: That's all it does.
09:29 [Elletee]: Why?
09:29 [Elletee]: That makes no sense.
09:29 [Taernason]: I am a fucking autistic nerve wreck! Nothing I do makes any bloody sense?!
09:29 [Taernason]: <.<
09:30 [Taernason]: I have no idea why?!
09:30 [Elletee]: Maybe you hoped Ethric and I have fallen out and that's why you're speaking to me?
09:31 [Taernason]: No..I just wanted to write...
09:31 [Taernason]: I saw you were not in the guild
09:31 [Taernason]: And figured
09:31 [Taernason]: Why the hell no
09:31 [Taernason]: Not*
09:31 [Taernason]: Had I written had you still been in the guild? Maybe ..Maybe not..I dont know
09:32 [Taernason]: But if you think for a moment I had laid any sort of plan..Or..Had somehow tried to turn this my way?
09:32 [Taernason]: Forget it..
09:32 [Taernason]: That's not me...
09:32 [Elletee]: Can you blame me?
09:33 [Taernason]: I am not sure
09:33 [Taernason]: I dont know...
09:33 [Taernason]: <.<
09:35 [Taernason]: But I have not..
09:35 [Taernason]: No planning
09:36 [Taernason]: No thoughts
09:36 [Taernason]: Just a sinple desire to have you back in my life..