side chain Jump # 6 The Melancholy of Suzamiya Haruhi

Jump # 6 The Melancholy of Suzamiya Haruhi
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Origin: Slider
Perks:
*It's Called Moe (50)
*All mighty leader (50)
*Class President (100)
*Humanity is Infectious (100)
*Rolled good life stats (100)
*(Not That) Great Will (500)
*Diverse Deadpan Snarker (0)
*Parallel Bleed (100, Discount)
Equipment:
Companions:
*A little sister of my own – Miyuki (0)

This was… a unique experience. It began first with me having a little sister. I never had a sibling before. So I took it as my duty to spoil her at every chance I could. She was a sweet girl who really looked up to me. It was fun sneaking around and showing her magic and seeing her little eyes light up with wonder and showing her actual pokemon though this got me quite a talking to since I had neglected to get a Pikachu, her favorite. She did however love Princess who loves everyone (who isn’t stealing her attention)Of course my sister wasn’t stupid so after I started showing her things that shouldn’t exist like magic there came the discussion of what I was and who I was. At first she was worried that I had done something to her sister but I assured her I was still her sister. I may have left out the 10 year limit of how long I would be here. She also wondered if I had been to all these places where things happened, what was about to happen here, Smart Kid.

That leads me to the main reason this jump was unique. Haruhi Suzamiya. That girl is a force of nature and It has nothing to do with her powers. I was just wandering the halls considering how I was going to join the SOS Brigade when … I ran into her and got dragged to the room as their newest member.

Mikuru was still the mascot as she was cute but I didn’t get away without being molested… though telling Haruhi … if you don’t stop I am going to insist you buy me dinner sort of soured it as she actually blushed a bit.

That is how I got swept up in the Hurricane that was Haruhi.

I actually felt bad for Kyon who received most of her attention. He was right in the eye of the storm.
It was kind of funny when he said in an offhand comment that he was glad to have another normal person in the club. When I said “Well actually…” he just facepalmed and sighed and asked what my deal was.

When I explained the jumper bit he actually seemed surprised… and eventually said “Ok I am just going to remember that as Mary Sue, got it.”

I reluctantly admitted to him he was not exactly wrong.

Getting Nekochan into school actually proved more difficult than I expected, I had to buy her a house so she would have a real address, pay certain people to get documents for her and then pay some people to pretend to be her parents. Thankfully both my companies are in this world and I am still filthy rich.

Introducing Nekochan to Haruhi was a little dangerous. They had similar feelings of boredom but also had very strong personalities… My fears however evaporated as soon as Haruhi started molesting her both amazed by her cup size and annoyed that she looked small compared to us. I am grateful we hid Nekochan’s ears or we would have needed a crowbar to pry Haruhi off of her.

 And so together we started our crusade against boredom (and hunted for the supernatural that was destined to fail.).

Each day brought something new, something different, one day would be baseball the next we would be starting a band. In all of it I can say Haruhi wasn’t truly satisfied. Thankfully Nekochan kept her lewd suggestions for activities private, Though I did wonder if Haruhi and Kyon got together whether it would settle her down.

Still it was tragic to watch, all Haruhi wanted was for the world to be more special… more fantastic and yet even though it was we had to hold it back from her.

I remember a fanfic about Kyon being a hero (not that he wasn’t here) but there they actually informed her of her powers and used Yuki to regulate them. I don’t remember the circumstances but I am guessing they were different.

So I brought it up to everyone and it was just about universally rejected especially by Kyon. He double objected. However I had a secret weapon. Nekochan is a powerful bard, if she says red is blue there is a good chance she can get you to believe it. Her tongue may be one of the most powerful weapons I have available.  Nekochan backed me up.

Things slowly went from hell no… to no… to well I suppose it’s theoretically possible to... fine but if she erases reality I am blaming you for this.

Yuki who would be playing double duty would be present; I would be present because it was my idea. Kyon also would be there and most importantly Nekochan would be there.

So we did it. At first she thought this was some joke at her expense and things got tense but Nekochan whipped out the cat ears as her secret weapon.

I think Haruhi actually teleported over to touch and rub them because I didn’t see her move between where she was sitting and where Nekochan was. She was transfixed. They are real she kept saying. On a probably unrelated note a few thousand people across the world the next day would wake up with cat ears and tails… entirely unrelated I am sure. Scientists were baffled. It seemed to affect mainly cute girls but there were a few young boys affected as well.

Anyways things worked out mostly… mostly. Haruhi would work her powers through Yuki with a veto power going to Kyon to make sure things were reasonable.

It may have been tense at points but finally I saw a Haruhi at peace. She got the world she had always wanted but could never accept.

She got to meet Nekochan and my pokemon and hear tales of my adventures. When she heard tales of how rich I was she demanded an all-expense paid vacation to Hawaii for the group to which I agreed. She also demanded her own catgirl android maid and to learn magic from me. It was about at that point I was wondering if maybe I should have kept my mouth shut… she was happy though. And that is how I nearly destroyed a universe to make one person happy.