Thread 50: Stories 1-15

Thread 50 archive: https://archive.moe/mlp/thread/20667911
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 Feelin' like forever ago this all thing sprouted up. Was so simple at the start, wasn't it? Ah' bugged Celly about somethin' wrong with Equestria, we'd talk about how there weren't two whole brain cells full o' competence between the whole of Ponyville, Canterlot and the Crystal Empire combined.

Remember how it all started?

>So, wait, why am Ah a princess again?
>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free healthcare I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."

Came right outta nowhere, but Ah' thought that'd be the most of it.

And then that buggy nuisance showed up with her whole hive in tow, and a'fore ya' knew what was happenin', princes were gettin' deposed, robots were invadin', parties were turnin' into warzones, giant monsters were gettin' let outta their cages and stompin' through the world, and Ah'm not even gettin' started on Partyland or this here recent mess.

We've been through a lot, ain't we? Met some new friends, got us some new foes, found out some shockin' things buried right under our noses, turns out there's some crazy stuff out in that ocean, just kept discovering a whole lotta things about this here big world. Everyone's got a story in here, turns out. Big or small, they've all got a tale, and Ah'll be damned iffin' all of 'em ain't a bit special in their own ways....

Well, shoot, look at me ramblin', talkin bout all these big old stories and what have ya'. This little picture right here's got all that beginnin', but wanna see the stories Ah'm talkin' bout fer' yerself? Decide iffin' Ah'm tellin' it like it is? Well, yer' in luck. Nice feller went and put them all right where you can find 'em. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack He didn't have ta', but we sure appreciate it.
Friendship is magic, ain't it? Well, we even got us a ton o' new friends ta' boot. So many yer dang head would spin tryin' ta remember 'em all! Well, don't you worry your head none, cause another nice fella' went and put 'em all in a nice big list for ya', even put in where they first popped up. https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650
O' course, maybe ya' want ta' see a little more? Read all some new guy ya' spotted, but don't wanna go searchin'? Or maybe ya' wanna see all that fancy artwork that ya' just know yer' gonna love? Well, whole lotta folks got together and made this right here. http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

We made it this far, and we ain't stoppin' yet, but we're always happy ta' see someone else join the ride. Try writin' a story, see what you can add to it.
Or hell, pictures worth a thousand words, right?
Don't wanna do either of those? Go ahead and tear up a story iffin' ya' feel it's not up ta' par, ain't nothin' ta' do but improve. Or ya' can just say what ya' liked, we like that too.

Thread number fifty... this here apple tree's grown pretty big, and got plenty of fruit too.

Jus' try ta' remember the sapling it grew from, will ya?
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 You know what? I'm going to do a quick thread recap, just like the old days.

>Cordies have spread over pretty much everywhere
>88 remembered her original mission, and the cordies set out for Canterlot.
>The gryphon kingdom was invaded, and it was down to just the royal family and a single handmaid.
>Surprise! The handmaid was Chitania, infiltrating the kingdom. Desperate, the eldest royal son asked her to stick around in exchange for the poisons she was trying to steal. She has not moved yet.
>Applejack was infected after running away.
>Rarity, while out looking for Vekir, stumbles across Chrysalis. Both of them snipe at each other before spying the corides. Chrysalis runs off, screaming for Cadence.
>Applejack goes back, locks herself inside her office with Arana. Said spiderling stays in the office, recognizing the infection.
>Chrysalis finds Cadence, along with everyone else of the CE crew, and even though she kept asking Cadence to throw up her shield, Cadence was too confused to do so.
>In desperation, she mind controls Cadence and forces her to throw up her shield.
>Goes off afterwards to help Twilight
>Inside Twilight's lab, said princess talks with 32 for a minute, before said changeling is removed via fire teleport. Chrysalis arrives immediately after with an infected guard and Twilight's research in tow.
>32 is sent down to the dungeon, but discovers the door is not locked. Seeking to 'do the right thing', he heads out.
>Shining Armor joins up with Celestia and reveals he will be taking over for the captain of the guard.
>Spike heads out to try to get 42, but the soldier bug is stuck guarding Cadence.
>Instead, he offers 007 his old spot on the A-team. He accepts.

>There is a confrontation between the two and 77 when he goes off to arm Diamond Tiara, but it's a moot point, she's already gone. The three join together all the same.
>29 and crew are out in everfree when the cordies arrive in ponyville and take off
>Trixie gets infected and buys them some time
>Dash and Pinkie meet up with Fluttershy, who is sitting on the edge of Canterlot calling for Discord desperately. Due to the previous thread's events, Discord is still unable to help or answer her. She gives up, and they all go off.
>Blueblood finds PJ attempting to leave through the portal, leaves her there without seeing if she uses it.
>Cordy gets mad because Applejack is fighting it, speeds up 88 getting there.
>18 informs the Changelings what they're supposed to do, which is stay in the ballroom, and then leaves. In desperation, they look to Actarius, who has no idea what the fuck to do.
>In desperation, Applejack sends Arana off to get Twilight. To her dismay, the door to the lab is gone, unknown to her via Chrysalis. Through this, Chrysalis learns AJ is infected, but does not tell Twilight.
>Shining Armor gives a rousing speech to inspire the troops. They all get pumped.
>And then 88 arrives and blows the shield apart.
>High Roller and his accomplice, Blues Noteworthy are after Screwloose. Roller undergoes a process to change his body and mane color in order to mimic a generic guard. The two set out just as the Cordies begin to overtake Ponyville.
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 50AU

>Rekulk
"Vekir"
'Rekulk'
-Vekir-

>"..."

'-...-'

>Well, the awkwardness is of much doubledness.

"These are facts."

'Freljiik sigrak!'

>Oh the old tongue, very clumsy, yes? Ah memories.

"Memories, indeed."

-Surugog, shelemsh!-

"Hey!"

>Do not acknowledge the old speech, head of metal's teachings are quite clear.

"But she-...I...VEKIR CALLED VEKIR A-"

>I have no idea what has been said, sister, for I have not heard their dark mutters.

'Glirmirsh?'

>Haaaaa, it's almost like I'm supposed to know that he asked why I haven't eaten you.

"Silly Rekulk, Rekulk would not eat Vekir because we learned how families work. Families do not eat each other, that is silly."

'Dubrak?'

>"NO YOU CANNOT EAT VEKIR!"

'Dubrak smarnesh...'

"...okay, but just a nibble."

>SISTER!

"What? Rekulk very pitiful when you are sad. Again with the face smacking, whyfor is this so common when I am around!?"

-Helmiri~-

"WHAT DID VEKIR JUST SAY ABOUT VEKIR, YOU LITTLE GRUFNAKT!?"

-Vezzkilik helmiri!-

"In words of diamond princess, IT! IS! ON! RAAAAAH!"

-RAAAAAH!-

>'...'

>Would Rekulk like to learn of how to get shinies?

'Shinnies?'

>Observe.

Rekulk hammers a sign into the ground that reads 'Females Wrestling, 1 Bit 2 View'.

'Oooooh...'

>I shall learn muchly, wait and see.

"I'M GONNA KILL ME!"
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 50AU
>18
"Past18"
~~~

>...

"..."

>...

"..."

>...EEEEEEEEEE!

"GAH!"

>THERE IS SO MUCH I WANNA SAAYYYYYY!

"Sweet hivemind, what the hell!?"

>Okay, so, okay, okay, right, okay, see... it gets better!

"Not hard to do right now."

>No no! I mean, a lot better!

"You mean her Majesty finally remembers who I am?"

>...Okay, wow, yeah, the bar was pretty low back then.

"Am I at least going to stop getting tossed out of the Empire? That hurts."

>Wow, okay, wow.

"I don't? Fuck. At least I don't have to put up with that annoying asshole Shining Armor anymore. PLEASE tell me the Queen re-assigns me from this moronic mission. I have seriously had it up to here with him. Always whining and moaning and crying and ugh, he's pathetic."

>...

"...I don't get re-assigned, do I?"

>...

"FUCK! If I have to spend FIVE MORE MINUTES with that idiot rogue, I am going to scream! I FUCKING HATE CANDYLAND!"

>...

"WHAT!?"

>Who are you, again?

"ARRRGHHHHHHHH!"
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 50AU
>29
"Past29"
~~

>Mine eyes do not deceive! Tis you! my older self!

"Indeed! Oh, one from a future so wondrous to come, tell me! Speak to me of all we shall accomplish! Give unto me the list of those we have conquered in our conquest of royalty! And spare not a detail, no matter how... lurid."

>...Oh, uh...

"Uh?"

>Well, I mean, we're still working on that.

"Oh, you're only from a few weeks unto my future? I thought you further."

>...We have a job now!

"NO! THE HORROR! OH THE WOE! THE AGONY I SHALL ENDURE! What untold madness shall we suffer, what tortures upon our fine hooves shall be wrought! The agony, THE WOE!"

>It's not that bad.

"WE ARE NOT UNTO A COMMONER WHO REQUIRES THIS...'job'! We are meant for greatness!"

>Well, as said, we're still working on-

"What is that?"

>Hm?

"That thing next to you, what is it?"

>Oh, we look after the souls of deceased children now. It's our thing.

"..."

>...We also hang out with Zecora a lot.

"The... zebra who keeps scamming me?"

>Oh, right...

"..."

>...We have an apartment.

"Not a castle?"

>Not a castle.

"Ah... well, you know what? Nay I say unto you! I shall have mine royal conquest yet!"

>Oh?

"Yes, there is that brilliant lavender one, and I shall have her!"

>....

"...What?"

>AHDUNWANNAGOBAAAACCKKK!

"...It's probably nothing..."
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 50AU
>55
"Past55"
~~

>Oh wow! There's two of me now!

"AWESOME!"

>AWESOOOOME!

"You got any fuel?"

>...What?

"Look, man, I just need a little fuel, a little bump to get through the day, you know what that's like, right?"

>Uh, yeah, I always have some. Check it!

*FWWWOM!*

>Fire!

"..."

>...You oka-

"So... preeeetttyyyy..."

>Oh hey, cool, hugs! I'm a fan of hugs, I'll have you know!

"Oh yeah, that's the stuff."

>You okay? You're getting all charred.

"MMmmmmm..."

>Yeah, I'm sure you know what you're doing. You seem like a smart guy.

"Fiiirrreee..."
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 50AU
>56
“Past56”
______

“Get outta here….”

>Seriously, I’m not lyin’.

“Ya mean, even though she’s been tryin’ on her diet… it STILL gets bigger?”

>So much bigger, me. Bigger, softer, warmer- like fresh bread kinda! It’s even got this vanilla scent to it now!

“I CAN’T HANDLE THIS!”

>Oh, you’ll handle it! And you should see her when she cheats, me. She’s so cute now, like, she’ll stare at the cake like it’s her mortal enemy, then sneak glances around before taking a small bite. And then another, and another. The way her face lights up is picture worthy! In fact….

A thick book of pictures falls at Past56’s hooves.

>Here ya go! This oughta keep ya entertained until ya catch up!

“Woooooow! I- I dunno what to say! I’m so kind!”

>Butt lovers gotta watch out for one another, me!

“Anything else I oughta know about Moons?”

>Hmmm… oh! Oh, ha! Yeah, she shocked the mud outta this one guard for callin’ her ‘Moons’! Only we can!

“Really?!"

>Really!

"Best! Day! Ever! Hoofbump me, me!”

>I’M BUMPIN’!
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 50AU
>Past Fluttershy
"Fluttershy"
~~~

>Oh my! I become an Alicorn? Really? Oh, I hope I handle the pressure okay.

"..."

>...What?
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 50AU
>13
"Past13"
~~~

>...
"..."
>...
"..."
>...
"...Bout the same?"

>Got a hairpin.

"Other than that?"

>...

"Yeah, kind of figured."

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 >Past Pinkie
"Pinkie"
~~~~

>...

"..."

>...

"..."

>... I can explain.

"WHAT THE FU-"

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 50AU
>2
"Past 2"
~~~

>Huh. I'm really tall.

"HAH! Lookit this shorty! Hey, shorty! You're... like, short!"

>There ain't nobody around.

"Oh... phew. Who're you anyway?"

>I'm you... from the FUTUUURE!

"GASSSSPP!... OH NO! What're ya' do-.. I mean, what're you thinking!? You can't be all short, they'll beat you up and take your stuff!"

>Nu-uh.

"HOLY CRICKLE CRACKS! You're not wearing your stuff! You gotta wear your stuff or the Queen'll get super mad! You're a dummy, me!"

>She don't get mad, turns out.

"...WHAT!? B-but I've been putting on this stinky spray for... ever! Ever and always! They said I'll get roasted without it!"

>I don't think not-mom would really do that, she's nicer than she looks.

"WHAT!? Ya' can't call her not mom! You've gotta call her Queen!"

>Nu uuuuh! Shiny says I don't have to, cause I'm a robe.

"..."

>...I don't think that's the right word. But it means Shiny won't let her do nothin'.

"Shiny? You mean... we got to show him how good in bed we are!?"

>Yeah, turns out, that don't mean what we think it means. I think. They're really dodgy bout it.

"Does so! I can play games on bed super good, you just watch! NEH!"

>Yeah! We play games all the time now, and daddy says we-

"HOLD! EVERYTHING!"

>...

"..."

>...We got adopted.

"...I-I have a daddy?"

>And a mommy!"

"J-j-j-j-ust like the fillies out who play in the park?"

>Yep! We go to the park all the time now!

"A-and I ain't gotta talk like the Queen, or fwoosh up no more?"

>Nope! We get ta' be us! Just... us!

"...and-and-and-and...we get..."

>MARCHMALLEYS!

"...What're Marchmalleys?"

Softly, the younger looking(but older) version grabbed her doppleganger by the head.

>Happiness.

"..."

*Fwoosh!*

"EEEE! THISSIS SO COOL! AND I AIN'T GOTTA SLEEP ON THE COLD PART!? AND I AIN'T GOTTA BITE SOMEONE TA' GET LOVE!? AND-"

>WE GET BEDS!

"WE GET BEEEEEEDSSSS!"

>"THIS IS AWESOOOOOOME!"
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 >Rarity
"Past Rarity"
~~

"I'M A PRINCESSSSSS!"

>...I refuse to believe I'm that shrill. I refuse it. Refuted. This reality is refuted.

"Have I at last married my prince!?"

>Um... not so much.

"Oh... well, I must have a dozen servants at my beck and call, do I not?"

>Well, we did... didn't go so well.

"Oh, I'm sure you're just blowing it out of proportion."

>...

"Well, clearly I spend my days leading Equestria, commanding the wold at my very hooftips!"

>...

"...Do I at least get those delicious cakes?"

>I'm... I'm going to go cry in the corner for a little bit.
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 AU50
>Sombra
"Past Sombra"
'Past Sombra (Written)'

"GRAH!?"

>Pardon?

"Grarahrah!?"

>Uhm...

*scribble*

'FUCKING STILL!?'

>I'M WORKING ON IT!
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 AU50
>32
"Past 32"

"Soon I will free my people from the vile Queen's treachery!"

>HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"..."

>Continue.

"...Together we free changelings will step forward into a bright future where we are defined by our own choices not those of-"

>Pffff...

"...the Queen. We can look to a future of cooperation with the po-STOP MOCKING ME!"

>Yeah, sorry me, but none of that happens and you will have everything you love either killed or turned against you.

"..."

>Yeaaaah, leaving the caves was a bad idea.

"But...I...I just lose!?"

>Handily, easily, and humiliatingly.

"...and I get nothing!?"

>You get a roach and rock.

"..."

>They're fun.
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 50AU
>88
"Past 88"
~~

>...The fuck is wrong with your face-


"s̨̖̪̞̗͈͙̗̙͗̏̂̅̑̈́̆̅͜͠͠p̢̛̘̲̖̫͎̮̙̜͗̅̅̾͆̇͋̕̚ͅr̡̛͖͕͍̞͇̺̘̩͑̄̈́̈̋̔̿̀̕͜ȩ͕͓̝̤͇̺͕̳̅̿̔̀͗̔͂̾̃̚͜á̢̝̰̬͕̠̻̲̯̬̽͋̈́̽̐̌͘͝͠d̛̳͉̖̩̟̬̣͉̒͑͐͂̉̈́͐͜͝ͅ"


>NO THANK YOU!
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