creamtacles

Airi sighs, crossing and uncrossing her legs impatiently. It's Maullar's birthday party, and revelers flit giddily from booth to booth. The liquor flows freely (literally--the sushi boats are floating in a trough of Ketel One) and from the booths issue a steady stream of dogs, burgers, and grilled lamprey. But Airi's kissing booth sits ignored in the corner.

"How's business?" I hardly need to ask.
"Terrible," Airi replies. "Do you think it's the location? It's the location, isn't it."
"Err, yeah... Let's call it that." I turn to check out some panties, and when I turn back, Airi's right in my face, leaning over the counter.
"Well, since you came all the way out here..." Airi's breasts are pressing lightly against me. She licks those soft pink lips of hers, and I shudder involuntarily. "Why don't you take one for free, Aya?"
"Thanks Airi, but--uh--I should be going! Lots of stuff to report on!"

I duck around the side of the booth and fly over a couple of lines before I remember that Airi can fly too. So instead, I grab Kongou and push her in Airi's way. Success! The ghost maid dives on Kongou and leaves me alone. I treat myself to an ice cream to celebrate.

"Right, coffee gelato with a scoop of triple fudge, crushed peanuts and raspberry coulis--" Dea confirms my order. "Oh! We don't have whipped cream, though."
"Seriously? I saw you guys bring in three pallets of whipped cream just yesterday. What, did Yuyuko get into the party supplies or something?"

Dea just points to the next booth over. Madoka is tied to a X-frame, wearing a whipped cream bikini and nothing else, face as pink as her hair... nearby, a flustered Homura fumbles with her wallet. A sign reads "100 Yen / Lick."

"Haruhi, I spent all my month's pay..." Homura chokes out the words. "Can I... Can I borrow a th-thousand yen?"
"Heh, heh! I've been waiting for this moment!" Haruhi gloats, puffing out her chest. Not that that accomplishes much, but-- "If you swear an oath to serve the SOS Brigade and the great Haruhi Suzumiya for all eternity, then maybe I'll think about it..."

Homura takes a couple tortured minutes to think. "No... I can't do that."

"Then I guess you're not licking any cream off anybody! Ha ha!" Haruhi kicks over the barrel of whipped cream, spilling the white stuff into the floor drain. Homura looks on, devastated. Madoka looks concerned but a little relieved.

Turns out it wasn't smart of Haruhi to dump all that whipped cream! See, that stuff goes to the same pipes that Eirin pours her test reagents down. Soon creamy white tentacles are creeping out of every last faucet and drain, grabbing every pretty girl in sight. A tentacle tags me as I'm taking pictures... I'm wrapped up and a tentacle pushes into my mouth, shoots a marshmallow fluff-like substance down my throat. Would be pretty tasty with some Nutella, actually!

"Homura-chan, do something!" Madoka cries as the cream-tacles crawl up her thighs. But Homura just moans, slumped against the side of the booth. I guess even powerful Puella Magi get tummyaches when they eat their weight in whipped cream, eh?

It's not long before the whole place looks like a tray of divinity candy, girls crying and squirming and moaning under a blanket of animated cream. Only Erika Sendou can still move, leaping and dashing and juking nimbly around as the cream-tacles chase her around and around. But she's only one girl, and the tentacles are... slowing down?

See, when you overwork a whipped cream, it gets brittle and collapses as the dry bits separate from the wet bits. That's what happening to the cream-tacles now--by chasing Erika, they're forced to fold onto themselves over and over until they crumble, letting everybody free! Plus, we got free butter out of the deal!

So in summation, that was the best birthday party ever! It goes without saying, I know. Let's do it again next year!

Love,
Aya! <3