Anon Pisses off the Wood Elves

Story Started in Thread #3 https://desuarchive.org/k/thread/40295894/#40300591

Guys, I fucked up, I fucked up real bad
>Go on hunting trip
>Local woods have become home to wood elves but I ain't giving up muh durr hunting spot because of some hippies
>Later towards the night notice something along the usual deer path
>Look through rifle
>It's a massive elk
>It also happens to be glowing green
>Figure this will put to shame any basic bitch deer I could ever find
>Shoot it
>Perfect shot, thing drops almost instantly
>As I'm trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to drag this thing back to my truck a bunch of the hippies come out of nowhere
>They're screaming at me in their language
>The only parts I do understand is the fact that they're really pissed
>And I mean really pissed
>As more and more keep coming and either screaming at me or collapsing on the elk crying I decide to just get the fuck out of there
>All seems fine until later the next day I notice the fuckers are around my fucking house, watching me at all hours of the night
>The disperse during the day, or whenever I call the cops, but they always come back at night
>Stop sleeping, just sit in the bathtub with a loaded rifle and listening to the sound of them running across my roof
What the fuck did I do, did I kill some kind of sacred fucking hippy god or something?

(Anon replies) Fucking probably, did you get it back to your house or did they get the better of you?

(Author replies to Anon) Thing must have weighed over a ton and I was being swarmed by angry keeblers, I left it and got the fuck on out of there.

(Anon replies again) Good choice, maybe could've taken one of their females so it wasnt a complete waste?

(Author replies to anon again) Dozens of elves swarming me with knives and bows and I'm supposed to trying to use my bolt gun to kidnap a female in front of all of them after killing something obviously super important to them?
Nigga, I've heard these things go toe to toe with fucking orcs in melee, I'd be dead if I tried that shit.
Then again, I might already be dead if they decide to break in.

(Author posting several hours later)
I'm alive boys, by some fucking miracle
>Grab AK and get in front of the door, sweating up a storm
>Hear them going through my house, cabinets, drawers, everything
>My ears suddenly perk on on footsteps coming particularly close
>Heart is probably throbbing so hard right now they can hear it
>As the steps get closer and closer the deathgrip on my gun gets harder
>Squatting in a pool of sweat
>The footsteps stop
>More sweating
>Nearly shit myself when I hear the door knob slowly jiggle
>When the realize it's locked the door starts shaking a little
>They stop and start saying something in their shitty language
>When I keep quite the door starts shaking violently
>Absolutely panic, scream the only thing that comes to me head
>"KEEBLERS OUT! REEEEEEEE!"
>Dump my entire magazine into the door at about waist height
>Hear maybe two or three screams
>When the gunfire finally stops I hear the last of the elves rush out
>Just squat there with a fresh magazine until morning
>In the morning slowly get out
>About three dead elves outside my bathroom
>Two males seemed to have died immediately, one female dragged herself to the stairs before sliding down them judging by the blood
>Now in absolute panic mode
I' just sitting here wondering if I got myself into a war with the keeblers or if they decided to fuck off for good, I'm gonna reinforce the shit out of my house just in case though.