Iris (Request)

 The summer cold in Australia made things a bit nippy, so Iris was going to warm up some kool-aid on a Bunsen Burner, using her mom's favorite coffee cup. Mum would be spewin' if she found out, so Iris was doing it in her dad's basement. She poured some grape kool-aid out of a billy can, pouring it into the cup. "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!" the cup said. She was only twelve, but her old man had already taught her how to play with fire. He was real insistent on lighting the dunny budgies and mozzies, but Iris was more interested in robots.

Iris dumped in enough sugar to instigate cardiac arrest in a boomer, and stirred it in.

"Strewth!", Iris exclaimed. The drink was beginning to boil! Soon it would finish. She’d have her juice, and everything was gonna be Mickey Mou-

The cup burst, and sprayed the kool-aid over Iris’s face.  This is it. She was gonna cark it. Iris fell to the ground in pain, grabbing at her eyes as her oldies came down the stairs, cheering and whooping. Iris had inadvertently  completed the rite of passage for the Afton family. To kill yourself and/or your relatives through sheer incompetence.

“Good on ya, love!”, Mum cheered.

“Happens to everyone, Iris”, Dad said. “All the rellies gotta come a gutsa sometime.”
Iris was still in pain, deep splotches of purple popping up across her face and hands, and spreading.
“We’re so proud of you,” her mother said, hugging Iris.
“Getta load of this,” Iris’s father said. He handed Iris a mirror.
“Blimey,” Iris said. Now she looked like the rest of the family.