4chan Hazbin Hotel story: devil worshipper cult

from /hhg/ - Hazbin Hotel General Thread #210 & #211
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This is just me, but I don't think Charlie would go over that well with your run of the mill devil worshipper cult. Imagine you're like one of the low dudes in the hierarchy of the cult. You're busting your hump all day drawing pentagrams in goat blood and breeding pitch-black cats and fornicating with witches on the equinox or however you do it. It's part of a ritual to summon the antichrist and bring about the end of days. You finally get the ritual right. You're expecting a big scary demon to pop out of the summoning circle and finally rain infernal vengeance on the society that has mistreated you so terribly.

...aaaaaaaaand instead you get this dorky marshmallow-cheeked cinnamon roll who probably owns Cole Porter on vinyl and sings along with the record every time she plays it.

I'd be pissed.
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>we do what we must to protect that smile
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>I busted my ass working for a cult and all I got was this inoffensive demoness
>and a hotel brand t shirt?
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>"Well, on one hand, Apocalypse is out of the question, if THAT'S the Antichrist..."
>Charlie gives them a friendly wave
>"...On the other hand, she's hiring for a project of hers."
>"...What sort?"
>so Charlie explains the Hotel and everything
>"...Seriously? A Hotel. IN Hell. That REDEEMS sinners, allowing them to go to Heaven?"
>"...We have a bit of an overpopulation issue..."
>The head cultist sighs...
>"Well... We're damned, anyway. Might as well go to Hell."
>"Yaaaaay!"
>"Yeah. Yaaaay... (God, help me...)"
>"Bit too late for that, pal."
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>Cultists when they meet Charlie and discover she doesn't want to send the universe into eternal darkness or some shit, and doesn't even accept the blood offerings they made.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3txRySd2g4E
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>"Alright folks I'm not gonna lie, we royally jobbed it on this one."

>"Well if that ain't the understatement of the fuckin' century! This milquetoast demon couldn't scare a trick'r'treater, let alone topple The Vatican!"

>"I'm standing right here you know."

>"Quiet you!"
>"Now listen, I'm not trying to point fingers here, I'm just saying we need to review our method so that we actually get a demon we can use next time."
>"Okay first things first, who sacrificed the black goat? Nicole? Can you describe how you did it?"
>"No no, that sounds right to me. Everyone else? Okay so it wasn't that."
>"How about the cauldron of bones? Tom? Where's he at? In the can? For fuck's sake...okay we'll ask him later."
>"How about the pentagrams of salt?"
>"Jerry?"
>"Who the fuck let Jerry make the pentagrams? He's an idiot."
>"Yeah he is. The guy can't microwave a Hotpocket and we're letting him summon a demon?"

>Charlie eventually gets bored with listening to the cultists bicker and calls Razzle and Dazzle to pick her up
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>They try again and wind up with Angel Dust this time.
>They commit mass supoko out of shame.
>Angel is mad that he couldn't get any action.
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>The survivors try a third time and end up with Husk
>He tells them all to sit and spin and goes to the liquor store to pick up a handle of Old Smuggler's and some beer nuts
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>The fourth time they get Vaggie
>Who was in the middle of a shower when she was summoned
>Everyone gets their asses kicked before she skulks back down to hell, leaving a trail of soap suds and Spanish profanities in her wake
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>They find a new supplier for their various witchery materials and do it all over from scratch
>It's Charlie again
>"Okay guys this is becoming an annoyance. I've got stuff to do you know."

>The cult's second-in-command decks the leader right across the face
>"Enough of this shit, I'm gonna go join the Cthulhu worshippers like I should've in the first place."

>Charlie looks shocked
>"Uhhhh, you okay? D'you need an ice pack or something?"
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>the sixth time, they get Niffty
>by this time around, the Hotel hat wisened up to the cultists' antics, so Niffty's well aware what's going on
>however, she's alarmed by the filth and general state of disrepair the summoning area's in
>the fact that, after so many flukes, the best Hell could come up with is a cyclops maid, causes many of the remaining cultists to just give up and leave
>by the time Niffty leaves, the summoning area looks brand new, the cultists' clothes have been repaired, and the cult's leader is the only one left

>the seventh time, it's Alastor
>almost immediately, the guy could tell that something's... Off.
>"I was in the middle of dining with my friends."
>...Yup, he's dead
>the air is filled with radio static, as Alastor ț̷̴̤͕̭͕͉̄̓̀̋̾͊̄ͯ̀͟͠i̵̢̠̯͙͙͕̠̥͙̘͖͔̱̝͎̫̇ͣ͐͆̌͋͂̌ͤ̽̂͂̀͜ḽ̷̨̝̦͉̼͍͔͖̱̬̥̽̎̈́̋̈́͊͋̈́̏̄͑̈́ͭ̃̍͘ͅt̵̢̧̼̝̟̠̟̰̺̩̜͙͙͚͓̮̯̺̒̌ͤ̇͗̍ͬ́̋̃ͤ͋̕͡ͅs̵̶̴̶͈̦̭̫͎̜̖͖̣̫̤̘̩͈̫͔͗̽ͭ͌̀̊̐̍ͦ̋̌ͨ̃ͯ͒̔̚̚ͅ his head
>"Guè̵s̵̀s̡͠͝ Í'̧̕͜ll̷̨ h̡à̢v́e̷̢ ͘t̸̢͡o̧ ̀͢ş̨e͡ţ̨̨ţ̶͞l̸e̡͠ ̨̕͜w̨̕i̧t̢h ̶y̨̡o̕͠u̵̶,̛̀ ̴̢t̨̡h̛͟ȩ͜n."

>sometime later, down in Pentagram City
>a familiar, hooded figure enters the Hotel
>Charlie looks up, and smiles, waving at the guy
>"Hi! Came to get your redemption on?"
>The guy removes his hood
>Charlie's face freezes
>As punishment for being a heretic, the cultists' leader is now the spitting image of Saint Peter...
>...With a metalhead hair...
>...And Juggalo facepaint
>"I... Like... Your new... Style?"
>Charlie can't decide if she should laugh or cry, as the guys just huffs, and walks up to a bewildered Husk to check in
>leaving the front desk behind, he walks past Alastor, who takes one look at him and steps aside, gazing long after the guy in bewilderment
>"Shouldn't have eaten his face" he muses