hey guys

HEELLLOOOO TEEPO SQUAD

It's time again for the monthly sub newsletter. Please don't share this outside of the Official Sub Discord. Penalty for doing so will be the same as the penalty for giving MINTS in a VIDEO GAME.

1st offense: ban
2nd offense: ARM CUT OFF
3rd offense: death
4th offense: eternal damnation

Ok, now that we've gotten the formalities out of the way, just wanted to give a huuUUUGE shoutout to every member of the GPX Clan. It's the support of all you Rokkenjima Revelers that I'm able to live my life chained to a computer for 12 hours a day. Hope you're enjoying the emotes, sub badges, sub discord, spoiler chat, speculation chat, foreshadowing chat, special prinnybot commands, prediction chat, and the gambling discord.

That being said, there are some problems in the VN Nation that we need to address. The first of which is that I hear some members of the Shazamicon Seance are upset for my decision to make the chat emote only at random intervals, and autoban chatters who use the wrong emote during the duration. Let me say that this is not a decision I made lightly, but it is necessary to cull the weak and unlucky from my chat. If you can't guess which emotes are currently allowed, you don't deserve me. The other issue is that of the stream now being sponsored by Totino's Pizza Rolls. Look, without their adverts, I couldn't make ends meet, just like how without their gooey, delicious pizza rolls, there would be an empty void in my life. So Totino's stays. I hope all the members of the Pizza Roll Party understand what I'm dealing with here.

Bad stuff out of the way, it's time for some DRAMATIC ANNOUNCEMENTS.

First, regular streaming schedule stuff. Here's my next priorities for the stream:
(let me just consult twitter and the top viewing list on twitch......)

* Fortnite
* Hearthstone
* OoT Rando
* Egypt, the country I guess. Wait, no, apparently its a card game? Whatever that is then.
* Danganronpa, that still gets the anime viewers, right?

As always, I'm super excited for all these things I care very deeply about. Also the list is subject to change based on trends. Err, I mean, based on what I feel like playing at the time.

But who cares about thAT GARBAGE?! IT"S TIME FOR TEEPOFEST 20`19!

====== TEEPOFEST 20`19 ==================

I want money and you guys have it. To obtain that money, I am willing to sell myself to you, the members of the Bolt Brigade. From June 19, 2018 - February 30, 2025, I'll be having a marathon where I take periodic breaks every day to do other things, because who wants to deal with you nerds all the time.

The goal for this marathon is $MONEY. Once that goal is met, donations that are prime numbers will be given to a random charity, as selected by random.org. Also, there'll be bit goals, sub goals, follower goals, cross-media promotion goals, kickstarter tiers, patreon goals, and a petition started to keep the marathon going forever.

To simplify the herculean task of coming up with games to play, I've decided on a simpler approach.

* $100 - I play a game I wanted to play anyways, but will pretend to not want to play it
* $200 - I don't play a game I want to not play, but will pretend to be upset about it
* $500 - I don't play a game I want to play, but pretend to not know that the game exists
* $1000 - I play a game I don't want to play, but complain the whole time
* Subs in multiples of 100 - I take off 1 piece of clothing
* Subs in multiples of 50 - I add 1 piece of clothing
* Subs in multiples of 1000 - I shed my skin live on stream
* 42069 Followers - I close my twitch account and start a new life as a youtube vlogger

I'm super excited about this, Bazonga Buccaneers, and I hope you are too! If we meet OUR goal, I'll go to places I want to go with the money, and do things I want to do anyways.

Ok, that about wraps up this edition of the GPX Gazette, stay frosty, my loyal Beato Bunch.

AND REMEMBER DON'T SHARE THIS WITH ANY NON-SUBS. I MEAN IT, THEY'RE BENEATH YOU. YOU BELONG TO ME NOW.