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- Mr. Piggy by DCFTEF (fimfiction.net/user/Dangerous_Creature)
- ---
- You are Filthy Rich
- Owner of Barnyard Bargains
- The #3 retail chain in all Equestria
- You're successful because you give the ponies what they want
- Case in point;
- Spring time is exam season in the Equestrian education system
- It's a lousy time to hold important exams, you know because you're a father yourself
- Young colts and fillies don't want to concentrate on studying when Spring is in the air
- They'd rather be outside, playing in the newly returned sun
- So many Ponyville parents feel the need for a little extra reminder,
- Something that will keep their foals' minds on responsibility when there are so many distractions
- Sales of spanking canes multiply during exam season
- And you're happy to provide the customers with what they want
- You order an extra barrel of top-quality rattan canes from Singapone
- Since you buy in bulk you can offer 'em at a discount; 50¢ a piece
- Are you taking advantage of some poor foal's misfortune to make a profit?
- Sure, but it's not your problem
- If you don't study hard you get spanked hard instead, kid
- CAPITALISM BABY! Gotta love it!
- Anyway, you're tending your flagship retail store in Ponyville
- Built on the site of your Grand-Sire's trading post
- You like coming down from your office to work the floor when you can
- Meet the customers
- Keep your staff from slacking
- Best of all you don't have to pay some pony to do work you can do with your own hooves
- Your wife & daughter don't understand
- They LOATHE manual labor and would rather pay employees to do the heavy lifting
- It's just as well
- You love your family like any good Equestrian father
- But a few hours escape from them sure benefits your sanity
- So it's a day like any other
- Early afternoon, too early for ponies to be getting off work
- The store is slow
- You make good use of the time
- Straightening up displays, making sure the floor is swept
- >"Umm...excuse me...sir?"
- A little pegasus looks up at you with big, sad eyes
- Blank flank. White and gray dapple coat.
- She's holding a hammer under her wing
- >"I don't have enough money for this, but I only need it for a second,
- >"Can I borrow it, please?"
- She's a little young to be swinging a hammer around your store
- More information is needed
- >"What's a little lady like you need such a big hammer for?"
- She sniffles, and tears pool up in her eyes
- >"I...*sniff*...I did a bad thing, sir.
- >"I took something from your store without paying."
- Well, usually you take a hard line with shoplifters
- It's store policy to call the Ponyville Constable when you catch one
- With younger offenders, you typically march them straight home and turn them over to their parents
- Ponyville is a small town...everypony knows where everypony else lives
- But for some reason you want to know this sad filly's story
- >"That's not good, sweetie, do you want to tell me about it?"
- She sniffles again and explains;
- >"I know it was bad. My Mommy caught me and made me bring it back.
- >"Now I'm gonna get a spankin' when I get home.
- >"But Momma said;
- >>'If you steal from a store you deserve to pay for your own cane!'
- >"So...can I please use this hammer without buying it?"
- You still don't understand, but she withdraws a ceramic piggy bank from her saddlebag
- >"I've had Mr. Piggy for a long time,
- >"I'm sure he has enough money inside him."
- She sets her bank on the counter
- You tip it over a little with your hoof
- It's the traditional kind of bank with no rubber stopper in the bottom
- Now you understand the hammer...
- A good business stallion would let her smash the bank, sell the cane and talk this filly into a brand-new piggy bank to replace the one she just smashed
- Housewares and home goods...second floor aisle 3.
- But she's so sad, it tugs at your heart
- >"Goodbye Mr. Piggy"
- She sniffles;
- >"I really liked having you on my dresser."
- With tears rolling down her cheek she kisses her piggy on its cold ceramic nose
- Even the hard-edged capitalist in you can't take this
- It gives you heartburn to lose a sale...but you have to do something
- >"Well, this is a high-quality hammer"
- She looks even sadder
- >"I'm sure it could do the job, but I have a better idea.
- >"If your Momma really wants you to come home with a cane I could sell it to you on credit"
- She sniffles and asks;
- >"What's credit?"
- >"Well, it means you can take an item home today and pay me for it slowly, as you get the money
- >"How does five pennies a week sound? You'll be all paid up in just a little more than 2 months...and Mr. Piggy can go home safe with you."
- She's still a sad filly with a lot to worry about
- But you've made her a little bit happier
- >"Just 5 pennies a week? I can afford that!"
- You're not going to charge a little filly interest on a 50¢ item that's going to be used to spank her own rear-end
- So you go through the motions of setting up a formal credit account
- This can be a learning experience
- You explain the papers and show the filly her payment schedule
- Then you pick one of the smaller canes out of the barrel for her
- >"Thanks so much, Mister!"
- She hugs her ceramic piggy like a stuffed plush animal
- >"You hurry along now, don't keep your Momma waiting."
- The dapple filly is still going home to a painful ordeal
- She shoplifted, and she's gonna suffer for it, you can't change that
- But maybe you made her day just a little less awful
- >"Thank you, Mr. Rich. You're really nice."
- There are not many ponies in town who'd say that
- There's almost a smile on her face as she leaves to endure her just punishment
- You close the cash register
- Your employees can handle the store for the rest of the day
- The boss is going home
- You want to spend some time with Diamond Tiara
- See if her homework is done...if she needs some help studying
- Maybe even read her a story if she's not too cool for that
- Sometimes, something just reminds you there are more important things than profit.
- END
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