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Mr. Piggy by DCFTEF

Apr 19th, 2016
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  1. Mr. Piggy by DCFTEF (fimfiction.net/user/Dangerous_Creature)
  2.  
  3. ---
  4.  
  5. You are Filthy Rich
  6. Owner of Barnyard Bargains
  7. The #3 retail chain in all Equestria
  8. You're successful because you give the ponies what they want
  9.  
  10. Case in point;
  11. Spring time is exam season in the Equestrian education system
  12. It's a lousy time to hold important exams, you know because you're a father yourself
  13. Young colts and fillies don't want to concentrate on studying when Spring is in the air
  14. They'd rather be outside, playing in the newly returned sun
  15. So many Ponyville parents feel the need for a little extra reminder,
  16. Something that will keep their foals' minds on responsibility when there are so many distractions
  17. Sales of spanking canes multiply during exam season
  18. And you're happy to provide the customers with what they want
  19. You order an extra barrel of top-quality rattan canes from Singapone
  20. Since you buy in bulk you can offer 'em at a discount; 50¢ a piece
  21. Are you taking advantage of some poor foal's misfortune to make a profit?
  22. Sure, but it's not your problem
  23. If you don't study hard you get spanked hard instead, kid
  24. CAPITALISM BABY! Gotta love it!
  25.  
  26. Anyway, you're tending your flagship retail store in Ponyville
  27. Built on the site of your Grand-Sire's trading post
  28. You like coming down from your office to work the floor when you can
  29. Meet the customers
  30. Keep your staff from slacking
  31. Best of all you don't have to pay some pony to do work you can do with your own hooves
  32. Your wife & daughter don't understand
  33. They LOATHE manual labor and would rather pay employees to do the heavy lifting
  34. It's just as well
  35. You love your family like any good Equestrian father
  36. But a few hours escape from them sure benefits your sanity
  37.  
  38. So it's a day like any other
  39. Early afternoon, too early for ponies to be getting off work
  40. The store is slow
  41. You make good use of the time
  42. Straightening up displays, making sure the floor is swept
  43. >"Umm...excuse me...sir?"
  44. A little pegasus looks up at you with big, sad eyes
  45. Blank flank. White and gray dapple coat.
  46. She's holding a hammer under her wing
  47.  
  48. >"I don't have enough money for this, but I only need it for a second,
  49. >"Can I borrow it, please?"
  50. She's a little young to be swinging a hammer around your store
  51. More information is needed
  52. >"What's a little lady like you need such a big hammer for?"
  53.  
  54. She sniffles, and tears pool up in her eyes
  55. >"I...*sniff*...I did a bad thing, sir.
  56. >"I took something from your store without paying."
  57. Well, usually you take a hard line with shoplifters
  58. It's store policy to call the Ponyville Constable when you catch one
  59. With younger offenders, you typically march them straight home and turn them over to their parents
  60. Ponyville is a small town...everypony knows where everypony else lives
  61. But for some reason you want to know this sad filly's story
  62. >"That's not good, sweetie, do you want to tell me about it?"
  63.  
  64. She sniffles again and explains;
  65. >"I know it was bad. My Mommy caught me and made me bring it back.
  66. >"Now I'm gonna get a spankin' when I get home.
  67. >"But Momma said;
  68. >>'If you steal from a store you deserve to pay for your own cane!'
  69. >"So...can I please use this hammer without buying it?"
  70.  
  71. You still don't understand, but she withdraws a ceramic piggy bank from her saddlebag
  72. >"I've had Mr. Piggy for a long time,
  73. >"I'm sure he has enough money inside him."
  74. She sets her bank on the counter
  75. You tip it over a little with your hoof
  76. It's the traditional kind of bank with no rubber stopper in the bottom
  77. Now you understand the hammer...
  78.  
  79. A good business stallion would let her smash the bank, sell the cane and talk this filly into a brand-new piggy bank to replace the one she just smashed
  80. Housewares and home goods...second floor aisle 3.
  81. But she's so sad, it tugs at your heart
  82. >"Goodbye Mr. Piggy"
  83. She sniffles;
  84. >"I really liked having you on my dresser."
  85. With tears rolling down her cheek she kisses her piggy on its cold ceramic nose
  86.  
  87. Even the hard-edged capitalist in you can't take this
  88. It gives you heartburn to lose a sale...but you have to do something
  89. >"Well, this is a high-quality hammer"
  90. She looks even sadder
  91. >"I'm sure it could do the job, but I have a better idea.
  92. >"If your Momma really wants you to come home with a cane I could sell it to you on credit"
  93. She sniffles and asks;
  94. >"What's credit?"
  95. >"Well, it means you can take an item home today and pay me for it slowly, as you get the money
  96. >"How does five pennies a week sound? You'll be all paid up in just a little more than 2 months...and Mr. Piggy can go home safe with you."
  97. She's still a sad filly with a lot to worry about
  98. But you've made her a little bit happier
  99. >"Just 5 pennies a week? I can afford that!"
  100. You're not going to charge a little filly interest on a 50¢ item that's going to be used to spank her own rear-end
  101.  
  102. So you go through the motions of setting up a formal credit account
  103. This can be a learning experience
  104. You explain the papers and show the filly her payment schedule
  105. Then you pick one of the smaller canes out of the barrel for her
  106. >"Thanks so much, Mister!"
  107. She hugs her ceramic piggy like a stuffed plush animal
  108. >"You hurry along now, don't keep your Momma waiting."
  109.  
  110. The dapple filly is still going home to a painful ordeal
  111. She shoplifted, and she's gonna suffer for it, you can't change that
  112. But maybe you made her day just a little less awful
  113. >"Thank you, Mr. Rich. You're really nice."
  114. There are not many ponies in town who'd say that
  115. There's almost a smile on her face as she leaves to endure her just punishment
  116.  
  117. You close the cash register
  118. Your employees can handle the store for the rest of the day
  119. The boss is going home
  120. You want to spend some time with Diamond Tiara
  121. See if her homework is done...if she needs some help studying
  122. Maybe even read her a story if she's not too cool for that
  123.  
  124. Sometimes, something just reminds you there are more important things than profit.
  125.  
  126. END
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