SF: 60s Era Spiderman, by The Dubs Menace

The Dubs Menace 02/03/14(Mon)00:00 UTC-5 No.16075250
Replies: >>16075645

Got a bit of writer's block. Gonna cure it with a shitfic.

>You are 60’s Era Spiderman, hero of badly animated New York city (BANYC for short), and by God do you love some fucking ponies.
“UNF!”
>You sat at your computer, jerking it to a picture of Cheerilee’s flank as Straight Outta Compton played on repeat in the background.
>Keeping switching to your left hand and rubbing your cock ever so slightly to keep it from going limp, you grabbed your mouse, opened a new tab, and went to /mlp/.
>There was a YLYL thread, a generals, a couple misc threads, and…
“I FUCKING LOVE STORIES!”
>You clicked on the thread titled ‘Story Time!’ and began reading.
“Oh wait… I can’t read. Lawl.”
>But you’re 60’s Era Spiderman. You don’t give a fuck if you can’t read or not.
>You were able to make out the words ‘option 1’ and ‘option 2’.
>1’s are for plebs, 2’s get the bitches.
>Suddenly, the ground shook violently, like you suddenly found yourself in Japan.
>Your ordinary person would freak the fuck out, but not you.
>You’re 60’s Era Spiderman, and you don’t give a single fuck.
>”Are you the one known as Spiderman.”
>You turn around and spot a fatass neckbeard standing behind you, holding a large burlap sack.
“STEP OFF BITCH THIS IS MY SWAMP!”
>You throw a right hook at the fedora tipping fuck, but trip and land right on your face.
>You look up in time to see the neckbeard drop the sack on your face.
>”Don’t let anyone else see what’s inside the bag, asshole.”
>And with that, the neckbeard disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

The Dubs Menace 02/03/14(Mon)00:17 UTC-5 No.16075645
Replies: >>16075744 >>16075920

>>16075250
>You lay there for a very long time.
>You didn’t know just how long, you were too busy not giving a fuck to keep track of time.
>Eventually, you sat up and examined the burlap sack.
“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. Thanks Obama.”
>You stood up and approached the sack. Putting your limited thinking abilities to use, you noticed the bag was held together by a rope tied together by a loose knot.
>A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!
>Faced by this impressive opponent, you flex your muscles in an attempt to intimidate the knot.
>It wasn’t very effective. It’s a knot.
>You charge the knot and punch it the fuck out.
>It wasn’t very effective. It’s a fucking knot.
>You trip over the bag after you fail to recover your footing after trying to punch the knot.
>It was super effective. You’re a fucking moron.
>You get back up and flash the knot a thumbs up.
“You’re pretty good!”
>It doesn’t do anything. It’s a knot.
>Suddenly, the bag begins to rock back and forth.
>There is something inside there struggling to get out.
>You watch, mortified, as the knot comes undone and a pony with a dark purple coat and a light pink mane pokes her head out of the sack. She fights her way out of it and stands up, rubbing her head.
>”Ow… what happened…?”
>Holy shit, it’s fucking Cheerilee.
>Thank you Based God.
>She examines her surroundings in a daze, before her eyes fall upon you.
“Lawl hi.”
>She screamed in horror.

The Dubs Menace 02/03/14(Mon)00:31 UTC-5 No.16075920
Replies: >>16075962 >>16077646

>>16075645
>>16075744
>”MONSTER!”
>You recoiled in horror and screeched like a little girl.
“JEHOVAH’S WITNESS!”
>You dive under your desk and watch her suspiciously.
>Cheerilee’s face morphed into one of confusion.
>Her face looked much like yours when you were trying to take a massive shit.
>”Um…”
>She tentatively approached your desk and looked under it.
>“Are you-”
“No, I don’t want to hear the word of Jesus!”
>”No, I mean.. wait, who’s Jesus?”
“Lawl I dunno.”
>You crawl out from under the desk and stand up, towering over the pony standing before you.
“Wanna get high?”