domiwoof (Dom) - Yesterday at 11:54 PM
This will probably not surprise you but Kyo has quit.
Anysy - Yesterday at 11:54 PM
oh he finally did that
domiwoof (Dom) - Yesterday at 11:54 PM
Yep, he finally did that
Anysy - Yesterday at 11:54 PM
well then
domiwoof (Dom) - Yesterday at 11:56 PM
Yup
Anysy - Today at 12:01 AM
idk word sare hard but that seems like a thing to worry about tomorrow
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:01 AM
I’m not worrying about it
Anysy - Today at 12:02 AM
right
good
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:02 AM
I’m just kind of done.
There’s one course for this to go at this point and I’m gonna let it happen
Anysy - Today at 12:05 AM
uhh yes i see
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:06 AM
So thanks for trying with me I guess, but you guys are finally rid of me.
Anysy - Today at 12:06 AM
its not like that
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:07 AM
Yes, it is.
I’ve finally realized why I’m so miserable while raiding
I tried for three tiers to do what I thought was right. More than three, even. I just wanted a group of friends I could do content with
But I surrounded myself with people who didn’t want the same and was too stupid to realize it
I don’t have the strength to try again. It’s all drained from me
Three tiers of dealing with repeated passive aggressive displays and non-stop paranoia have done that.
So when this breaks, which it will, I am done.
You no longer have to worry about me being a problem for you, and neither does Zana.
I’m going to retire.
Lisa had the right of it. I should have listened to him
I’ve never said those words before, but I am now, because he was right.
Anysy - Today at 12:11 AM
those words may be true, but calling yourself a problem to me or zana, and saying that we are 'rid' of you isnt accurate
i dont want you to leave this thinking that you didnt do your best or that you werent even doing well
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:12 AM
I do, and I am.
It’s too late.
Far, far too late.
I have failed. I am a failure. I have failed for three tiers. Not a single one of them have gone right.
And that’s because I tried way too hard to create a vision I wanted with people who refused it, without realizing it was being done.
An error I have been making for two fucking years blindly because I’m an idiot.
And have far too much faith in people.
Anysy - Today at 12:13 AM
that might be rihgt, but doesnt recognizing it and understanding it lead to doing things better the next time?
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:14 AM
No.
There won’t be a next time this time.
I am done believing in this.
Anysy - Today at 12:14 AM
the hand youve been dealt , especially with regard to me and zana were not the best
but i feel like youve created a lot more friends in your kitten basket than just us
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:14 AM
I listened to both of you for far too long, and it’s led here.
Anysy - Today at 12:16 AM
just because we are jerks isnt the end of everything
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:16 AM
You’re a really awful person to be convincing me to keep trying despite being one of the primary causes for this turning out the way it has.
Maybe I should have exercised more caution with you.
Anysy - Today at 12:17 AM
i feel like despite all of this, there were points you enjoyed about raiding
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:17 AM
They’re all dead.
You both killed them.
Anysy - Today at 12:17 AM
and i just wan tto encourage you to try to find those again
maybe they dont involve me, and definitely dont involve zana but
i think they might involve ruka at least
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:18 AM
You expect me to go into a group and thinking it won’t end the same way after all of this? That the paranoia of “I’m not progressing fast enough” won’t be present? I wonder what that’s like, because I don’t know.
Anysy - Today at 12:18 AM
i mean you said yourself
before, now, whatever, you didnt have groups that wanted the same thing out of raiding as you
i believe that somehow you will find the group that does
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:18 AM
And I never have.
I never will.
Anysy - Today at 12:19 AM
i mean i feel like i know you wont be leaving the game entirely
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:19 AM
Not immediately
Anysy - Today at 12:19 AM
maybe theres at least some people around you can do to pf things at times
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:20 AM
Those are nice platitudes.
Anysy - Today at 12:20 AM
idk i just want to encourage you to keep doing things with people, to not give up
giving up entirely is never the way forward
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:21 AM
Encouragement while silently and explicitly calling me a problem behind my back. Wow, what a piece of work you are.
I just don’t know what to say.
Anyway, whatever. I’ve said what I intended to. This is going to die, you can pretty much count on that. When it does, you won’t need to bother with me anymore
Thanks for the act.
Anysy - Today at 12:25 AM
i dont know how to take that
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:26 AM
Something you don’t have an answer to for once, huh? Not really sure what to say about that but you don’t exactly seem broken up by this which means you probably planned for it anyway, and seeing as how you’re already defaulting to past tense and platitudes unlike the past, you planned to leave me behind to begin with.
Not really sure why you’re trying so hard.
Anysy - Today at 12:27 AM
no, i dont know how to respond to those accusations
denial is never taken seriously
you know better than to accept some sort of deflection
like what can i say that isnt already a foregone conclusion that will be ignored?
like i wont lie, at some point in the future i wanted to have a discussion with you about not continuing together with the static but
the plan wasnt to just fucking up and ditch you some day
as much as maybe i dont want to raid togehter forever i dont think that should get in the way of being friends and trying to support you
this isnt exactly a blasé subject for me either, and i am trying to do the righ tthing
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:30 AM
The signals you put forth throughout the last couple of months said something entirely different than “trying to support you” and not wanting to up and ditch me someday, so maybe you should try and make your actions look less suspicious even if that’s difficult for you.
Not a blase subject? That could have fooled me with how easily you defaulted to past tenses
You know what the funniest fucking thing about all of this is?
You, Zana, and Kyo are all guilty of pretending to tolerate and be my friend but when it interferes with your precious little agenda, that suddenly doesn’t seem to matter anymore. Kyo made that pretty clear to me. “Not sure if you got something going on in your life right now, but” and he damn sure didn’t fucking ask. None of you did. Zana decided to go off and do his thing and evidently you have plans to do so as well. How am I supposed to interpret that any other way than “you’re a problem for me”?
Anysy - Today at 12:33 AM
i mean you did sound unusually strained today on voice
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:34 AM
And gosh nobody thought to ask and just assumed good ol’ Dom was a dumbass. Man, what good friends
I’m so glad this is what I put literally every bit of effort I’ve made in-game into for the past two fucking years
Yeah, good ol’ Dom is a problem except for the fucking part where good ol’ Dom was the one who called your ungrateful sorry asses through fucking Kefka for two goddamn weeks
Anysy - Today at 12:36 AM
uh last time you werent feeling well you didnt really want to talk about it with me idk how to take this still
like im getting some mixed signals i feel
i mean that was somewhat of a poor taste of a joke
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:36 AM
I made it absolutely fucking clear
I was not okay with Zana’s actions by any means
You assuming that ceased to be an issue is your flaw in judgment, not mine.
Anysy - Today at 12:37 AM
ok now im real confused
what am i being yelled at for right now
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:38 AM
You mentioned mixed signals. There were no mixed signals in the fact that I had not been okay with Zana’s actions.
Anysy - Today at 12:38 AM
zana did a dumb thing, sure, but he still had his alt of similar gear to do wednesday things
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:39 AM
I did not want to talk about it with you because you tried to defend him
Like you always do.
Like you always have.
Anysy - Today at 12:39 AM
if the places were flipped i wouldve defended you too
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:39 AM
Pft.
Anysy - Today at 12:40 AM
like i defended him because it didnt impact raid
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:40 AM
You know the only reason you weren’t right there with Zana was because you were suspended.
Anysy - Today at 12:40 AM
is that how we want this to go
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:41 AM
Is it wrong? You seemed pretty unaffected by the fact he did it beyond defenses. Literally everyone else but Kyo was highly upset
Anysy - Today at 12:41 AM
you want me to talk about how fucking mad i am that se suspended for 45 hours instead of the 24 they said it was going to be?
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:41 AM
Including two subs who had cleared
Anysy - Today at 12:41 AM
like
tonight ,with our full party, and zana doing all the callouts (because idk he went and did practice outside of raid)
we hit what 18%
was it unjustified to feel like we wouldnt clear wednesday
and even if it was, was it not appropriately dealt with to hvae an alt to come if the goal and assumption was a 2 chest clear that night anyway?
sure, it didnt impact me .... but it didnt impact anyone else too
and thats the part im defending
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:49 AM
Gosh, I guess the feelings and opinions of 5 other people feeling like they were pushed the fuck aside because some selfish prick wanted to get his clear without his group don’t matter because holy fucking shit guys, he had an alt he leveled with the express intent to do this to begin with
Yeah fuck off with that shit.
Anysy - Today at 12:50 AM
i mean thats i guess the difference you were saying earlier
i would not have seen it as a problem ,even if it came to getting a 1 chest clear on wednesday had i been there
(of course if i had been there a clear might actually have been on the table and zana wouldntve gone outside the group but tahts not the point)
my mentality here is completely different
and i dont know that i will ever be able to see this one from the other side
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:53 AM
And I’m never going to understand why it’s okay for Zana to do what he did. So I guess that’s that
Anysy - Today at 12:54 AM
its really not just zana
if anyone had done that I dont think there wouldve been any complaints from me
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:54 AM
Anyone else wouldn’t have had a goddamn alt they leveled to raid outside of the group.
So it wouldn’t have mattered if anyone else did it, cuz it would’ve been a different situation.
Anysy - Today at 12:56 AM
ok like if nobody had said anything
you wouldve queued into o8
killed the clown
gotten whtaever hours of prog in
and nobody wouldve even fucking known
im not saying that makes ti ok im just saying
i feel like its a victimless crime
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 12:56 AM
I completely disagree.
Anysy - Today at 12:57 AM
i still don tfeel like ill see that
even if it was a 1 chest party wednesday, the worst that couldve happened is you all get a free page and half a loot
this just kinda feels like shaming someone for getting in extra practice
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 1:04 AM
No, it’s not shaming someone for getting extra practice when we all agreed that out of static shit is supposed to happen after Wednesday, and before Monday. Four days he could’ve used to get the clear he wanted without anyone caring about it because that’s the expectation that both of you participated in planning. Not only did the rest of the group, Kyo and obviously yourself excluded, feel like Zana did a dickish thing, it caused both subs I’d recruited to leave because he put himself before his group and they refused to support that, thereby costing us an entire raid night. The only reason I did not strike him for it and instead made it a group warning was because Zana had an alt, and that was a mercy because I thought about it over the weekend. It caused a great deal of grief for everyone involved. It’s fine if you don’t see that, I didn’t expect you to when I brought it to you and don’t expect you to now because I knew you would take Zana’s side, much like I knew you’d be there with him if you’d had the opportunity. Just because someone has an alt does not make it okay for them to disobey the rules and haul off to be a selfish prick. And Zana has a history for doing this shit to begin with which we’re both aware of, so it surprises me you’re so willing to defend him.

Anyway, I dealt with this issue in the way I felt was best. If it’s not sufficient, I don’t know what to tell you.
Anysy - Today at 1:07 AM
like i still fel like youre conflating me defending this action wiht me defending zana
and i really disagree that those things are connection
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 1:18 AM
I’m not conflating anything. I drew my conclusions based on what I knew and had seen.
Anysy - Today at 3:19 AM
uh meow i know it seems like i just kinda quit responding and idk i wanted to take some time and think about things  uhhhhh this is one of those times where i really want to wish youre asleep because saying words to sleeping people is hard but lets be honest neither of us are going to sleep very well. first i want to say that im sorry. I probably couldve avoided a lot of this by talking with you much earlier, before things happened that kinda force our hands on things. With that said, I dont personally have problems with you, on the scale fo raiding whatever, but it would be a lie to say that others have some misgivings. I personally have felt something akin to what you said at the beginning, that our goals for raiding have been different for a while, and have been trying to reconcile this by myself - I thought maybe that having an alt to do things separately would be a solution. Maybe it couldve been, but some things pushed me away from realizing that properly early. Zana certainly thought similarly, to whatever degree of success you want to call what hes done (probably not very successful)
however, I really dont want any of this to hvae been me vs you, or even you vs zana with me taking a side or something. Ive mentioned before, I want to view a static as a sort of work structure, a network formed by common goal to do a thing, kill bosses. Ive mentioned I dont feel like friendship is important here, that the goal should firstly be collaboratively killing bosses. This is clearly discordant with things you have said regarding directions of things, but that is fine - I am willing to make compromises in that regard.. because well. You are my friend, and for the most part playing with you, having a common thing to do together was more important than a singleminded pursuit of boss deaths.
ultimately here, I think it all comes back to that. It might just be time for that bond to be broken. I mean  you have more than suggested thats the way you see this going, and that I think can be fine. If we are both willing to shelf this silly argument about our differing ideologies, I think we will both still be in somewhat the same place we were before. Sure, itll be different.. It wont be as easy as having scheduled 'play time' together through raid, but raiding is not all that defined what we were to each other.
to that end, I am begging forgiveness. I have not been the best friend this last couple of months. I hvae been very focused on myself, on trying to get through raid. I was doing what I knew how to do best, thinking that if I practiced hard enough by myself it would be helpful in some way. I mean it was helpful in some ways, but nothing tangibly for anyone other than myself really. Honestly overall ive probably been in a pretty shitty mood the last whoever knows how long. .. well, you probably do. And to say that is fine is.. wrong. But I am asking to put this behind us. It need not happen immediately, maybe not even for a while. But I dont think either of us really want whatever this is hanging over us forever.
uhh anyway those are words idk im 4am here and sleepy and really need tos top this weight of the world on repeat at some point
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 8:21 AM
I saw you starting an alt as a way to break away from me from the very beginning. Ruka and I both did. We saw those problems almost immediately, and though I tried to ignore them I never fully did, even after you gave me your confirmation that what I thought was happening wasn't. I know Zana's character. And as soon as I saw you follow him, I knew you two were planning something, even if it wasn't immediate. Each time I saw you, Zana, and Kyo left over in voice chat, I knew you were probably talking about me, or about Ruka. And Ruka's felt for a long time that he's everyone's scapegoat for what was going wrong, and I felt very personally responsible for that because I invited him into what apparently became a den of vipers.

I could have just asked you straight out if you felt the way that Zana does, but seeing as how you told me something that wasn't wholly true to begin with regarding the alt situation, I wouldn't have gotten an accurate answer. Probably not even close to accurate. So I'm hurt to see that's the case, but I am not surprised.

Anyway. The message here is pretty clear. You've more or less said everything I could or would say, and while some have misgivings about me, others have misgivings about you. A lot of misgivings.

I'm not really sure I can reconcile your actions with still seeing me as a friend. I don't think friends would do this to one another, even if their goals lay in separate places. Not even really sure how to continue after that sentence but... I know when I'm not wanted, and it is acutely obvious here.

I think that's all I have to say.
I don't really think I understand why this is the way you chose to make these decisions. Honestly, I'm still really confused by it. It feels a lot like what happened back on Brynhildr, which you reassured me so many times would never happen again despite me believing otherwise. And I wanted to trust you on that. At one point I did. Back then we didn't know each other as well, I could accept this as your way of doing things but now... after two years... I just don't get it. I thought we were closer than this, or that you trusted me more, but maybe I was wrong about that too.