AustinJan1

As soon as the carnage from the main event cleared, Shawn stood in the ring facing the Titantron where "Stone-Cold" Steve Austin appeared with the WWF World Heavyweight Championship on his shoulder. Before saying anything he was certain to give Shawn a nice long slow clap.

"Very good. Very damn good Shawn. So that axe-grinding sumbitch Titan finally got off his ass and did something, very nice. It don't make a damn lick of difference in the grand scheme of things but I'm sure it made you feel like the captain of your own fate for a minute or two there. Did I fail to mention that you are in fact [b]not[/b] in control of your own fate Shawn? Oh I know what you're thinking." Austin takes on a mocking voice "But Stone-Cold, I won the match so my and my assless chaps and my glitter booties get to walk on down the aisle at the Royal Rumble and challenge for your WWF World Heavyweight Title." "UNH-UH! You see you clueless has-been, the more astute among our fans probably came to the realization, obviously way before you will, that at no point did I say the title shot would be for this here belt." Austin pauses for Shawn to finish throwing a fit in the ring before he continues. "So now you're probably thinking 'so what, is he gonna knock this down a notch and let Triple H whip out the jizzmop and clean up a certain piece of fucktrash that's crapping up our ring right now?' UNH-UH! Tempting as it would be a match for the IC title is still too good for you. So maybe the Pan-Am title. Let Joanna feed you your own ballsack. UNH-UH! Now we ain't exactly family entertainment here in the 1990's but I don't think a public gelding would get over very well with those fucking crybaby special interest groups crawling up our ass. Now we thought maybe a tag team title opportunity, but that wouldn't be fair given that before the Jolly Green Jackass showed up I wouldn't have thought you had anybody who would team with your sorry ass. Also; Joanna is also one half of the tag champs which brings up the castration issue again. So, in my infinite wisdom and fairness I have decided to bestow upon you a title shot worthy of your status and position in the Power Trip's WWF...that bedazzled piece of shit Okada calls the Title of....um....whatever. That's right, at the Royal Rumble, Shawn Micheals, Kazuya Okada for whatever the fuck that belt is called."

"Now, as for me. As much as I don't give much of a crap for the fans, I suppose I am now a businessman and that occasionally calls for giving them what they want so that they give me what I want, aka their goddamn money. So I will be defending this World Heavyweight Title at the Royal Rumble and I will be defending it against the guy who your Blaster just laid out. That's right, mark it on the calendar, at the Royal Rumble "Stone-Cold" Steve Austin will be defending his title against Bret "The Hitman" Hart!

The crowd roars and Austin lets them at it for a little bit.

"Hey, that kinda felt nice giving the people what they want. Of course, that's mainly because it's gonna feel so much better yanking it away from their stupid asses when I beat their greasy little Quixote into the ground after I take their money!"