HarpyHomeTheater 1993: Son of Godzilla

Brandon Carter: but why?!?!

Brandon Carter: so uh

Brandon Carter: i'm bored and i need to prep for the goofy shit

Brandon Carter: time to watch son of godzilla-

Brandon Carter: https://gyazo.com/f16cc387491eda36d877755450aea8a2

Brandon Carter: ...i read the synopsis and i'm already scared

Brandon Carter: also WIDOW MAKER LOCATED

Brandon Carter: so yeah i'm selling my soul for STARZ. mostly for the kaiju movies.

Brandon Carter: i'm scared

Brandon Carter: thank you for telling me i'm watching a MOVIE with ADULT CONTENT

Brandon Carter: oh man i'm about to see a tiddy on screen- no wait.

Brandon Carter: fuckin rain

Brandon Carter: the prequel to "fuck you, snow"

Brandon Carter: ah yes the hammy japanese panic returns

Brandon Carter: i live for this, much like a weebaboo lives for their waifus

Brandon Carter: MAGNETIC WAVES LIKE BRAIN SIGNALS

Brandon Carter: OH MAN THE CLOUD IS SENTIENT

Brandon Carter: oh

Brandon Carter: oh my god

Brandon Carter: one of the derpiest godzilla's i've ever laid eyes upon

Brandon Carter: like you draw the outline of an badass t-rex and then stick googly eyes on it

Brandon Carter: mmm, yes, perfect, now it will definitely star in our next Jurrasic Universe movie!

Brandon Carter: derpzilla!

Brandon Carter: AND DERPZOOOKY

Brandon Carter: thi

Brandon Carter: this song is way too goofy sounding

Brandon Carter: for a godzilla movie

Brandon Carter: ITS GOOD BUT DEAR GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE

Brandon Carter: DIRECTED BY JUN FUKUDA

Brandon Carter: bless you but you were probably high when this happened

Brandon Carter: >"i fucking hate this heat and humidity"

Brandon Carter: as someone who was in south carolina for four years for college

Brandon Carter: same.

Brandon Carter: i hate being cold (and STUPID RANDOM ASS SNOW IN NOVEMBER D:< ) but at least i can do something about it.

Brandon Carter: i become blanket-chan.

Brandon Carter: heat? you die, or you die

Brandon Carter: is someone trying to slurp an empty slurpee

Brandon Carter: go back to 7-11, dufe

Brandon Carter: https://gyazo.com/97e83bb8f4fcc1c65d9b3d1306c1592a these headphones are satan's gift to mankind

Brandon Carter: seriously tho that looks uncomfortable

Brandon Carter: >professor kusumi

Brandon Carter: one letter away from Kasumi

Brandon Carter: so close to getting ruined.

Brandon Carter: did they just air drop a dood

Brandon Carter: did this just happen

Brandon Carter: why is this movie full of dudes

Brandon Carter: where the women at.

Brandon Carter: fuckin dude

Brandon Carter: "i came here for a story and I AIN'T LEAVIN TIL I GET ONE"

Brandon Carter: sets down futbol helmet and sits down like a child who refuses to eat broccoli

Brandon Carter: ...

Brandon Carter

https://i.gyazo.com/729286ce1331ecafab3aab7f48982f... WHAT IS THIS
Brandon Carter: the pout levels are real

Brandon Carter: this guy

Brandon Carter: i feel like he's in it for the food.

Brandon Carter: not the scoop, unless it's for ice cream.

Brandon Carter: IT IS I

Brandon Carter: WIDOW MAKER

Brandon Carter: SEARCHING FOR MORSELS AND A GODDAMN TENTACLE MOJITO AROUND THESE PARTS

Brandon Carter: MOTHER OF FUCK

Brandon Carter: my ears are dying

Brandon Carter: SHIRLESS LEVELS: 80%

Brandon Carter: TACKY SHIRT LEVELS: OFF THE FUCKING CHARTS

Brandon Carter: "he washed his boxers in that water you're using to rehydrate veggie!"

Brandon Carter: ...i have no idea what am feeling rigth now

Brandon Carter: it turned the lettuce gay!

Brandon Carter: ...nah thats a bad joke.

Brandon Carter: no better way to know if something is good

Brandon Carter: than chompin it

Brandon Carter: delicious parsley.

Brandon Carter: here's the la-

Brandon Carter: OH GOD SHE'S HOT

Brandon Carter: "WE NEED TO WORK"

Brandon Carter: "but girl... must be safe..."

Brandon Carter: the many lewd jokes i could make

Brandon Carter: proving that i am, indeed, a useless as fuck bisexual

Brandon Carter: manipulate the weather so that we can make fertile land so people can... not starve?

Brandon Carter: well okay

Brandon Carter: i still dont' understand anything BUT at this point i should give up

Brandon Carter: (i won't)

Brandon Carter: "GET OUT OF THE WATER YOU'RE GONNA FREEZE"

Brandon Carter: i, too, like yelling at bodies of water in the hopes that a girl or even a mermaid hears me and escapes

Brandon Carter: okay but why would freeezing help with an experiment

Brandon Carter: i don't undersSTAND

Brandon Carter: goodbye my probe

Brandon Carter: see you never

Brandon Carter: THE THING ASPLOSED

Brandon Carter: ...exploded, rather.

Brandon Carter: and now they fucked up and made 158 degree weather. (in Fahrenheit.)

Brandon Carter: guess they'll die!

Brandon Carter: way to fuck up a perfectly good island

Brandon Carter: chuckster would be upset.

Brandon Carter: lakjdfjiodfgjo SO MANY DUDES WITH ABS

Brandon Carter: THAT ARE SORTA SHIRTLESS

Brandon Carter: NICE EYE CANDY FOR THE LADY VIEWERS but seriously thought where the women at

Brandon Carter: WIDOW MAKER'S BACK AND BIGGER THAN EVER

Brandon Carter: LOVIN THIS HUMIDITY DAWG

Brandon Carter: THANKS

Brandon Carter: FEELS LIKE FLORIDA

Brandon Carter: so uh

Brandon Carter: where's godzilla's adopted son?

Brandon Carter: as widow maker fucks about and looks intimidating while inappropriate music plays

Brandon Carter: WIDOW MAKERS EVERYWHERE

Brandon Carter: TA

Brandon Carter: MA

Brandon Carter: GO!

Brandon Carter: "Someone stole my shirt!"

Brandon Carter: is this a plot point? *holds hand towards shirt

Brandon Carter: i, too, steal shirts of men for no reason otehr than enjoying oversized shirts

Brandon Carter: this lady is very relatable

Brandon Carter: maki fuckin named these kamacuras

Brandon Carter: also they are abusing an innocent egg

Brandon Carter: EGG DID NOTHING WRONG

Brandon Carter: ...NEVERMIND, EGG DID EVERYTHING WRONG

Brandon Carter: WHAT THE FUCK

Brandon Carter: AM I LOOKING AT

Brandon Carter: LIZARD DOGZILLA

Brandon Carter: DERPZOOKY

Brandon Carter: widow makers you do know you can eat better things, right?

Brandon Carter: like

Brandon Carter: evil dragonflies

Brandon Carter: tentacles

Brandon Carter: The Lord's Hopes and Dreams

Brandon Carter: AAAGH HE'S MORE HORRIFYING THAN I THOUGHT HE'D BE

Brandon Carter: I'M SUFFERING

Brandon Carter: "HAVE YOU GONE MAD?"

Brandon Carter: i'm sure he'd go madder if he saw godzilla's adopted son

Brandon Carter: DERPZILLA

Brandon Carter

https://gyazo.com/7c5c50abb9e15fa4ef3692a694de4c9a

Brandon Carter: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUR

Brandon Carter: "LEAVE MY SON ALONE"

Brandon Carter: in spite of everything being stupid as shit

Brandon Carter: at least i can now laugh at godzilla DUNKING a mantid

Brandon Carter: "we're not watching wrestling"

Brandon Carter: the single most wrong line said in a kaiju movie

Brandon Carter: ever

Brandon Carter: fuck you, kaiju movies is wrestling.

Brandon Carter: and the promos are fucking laser beams.

Brandon Carter: and crushing buildings.

Brandon Carter: or, in Mothra's case, ~Simply Existing~

Brandon Carter: ...god DAMN IT i wish i could have giffed that.

Brandon Carter: just fuckin mantid gets lasered and a fuckin

Brandon Carter: fuckin FLIES accross and

Brandon Carter: jklasgjldfkjgj god damn this is hillarious

Brandon Carter: dunked

Brandon Carter: why is this rock important

Brandon Carter: YOU KICKED A ROCK AT HIS SON

Brandon Carter: WOW

Brandon Carter: HEEL HEAT MAXIMUM

Brandon Carter: i refuse to believe godzilla would get knocked down by a single mantid.

Brandon Carter: that just doesn't happen

Brandon Carter: but it did.

Brandon Carter: my worldview is shattering before my very eyes

Brandon Carter: that last mantid saw her friends

Brandon Carter: looked at godzilla

Brandon Carter: and fuckin peaced out

Brandon Carter: still though what the fuck

Brandon Carter: he accidently abuse son

Brandon Carter: i, too, make otherworldly noises at weird patchysaur kaijus to get their attention

Brandon Carter: i prefer to just keep it to my friends, though.

Brandon Carter: i'm fully convinced

Brandon Carter: son of godzilla is just a dog

Brandon Carter: its a fucking dog.

Brandon Carter: change my mind.

Brandon Carter: ...i dont relate to feeding this weirdo

Brandon Carter: i do relate to throwing knives at people trying to take my stuff!

Brandon Carter: :B

Brandon Carter: "men don't wear red shirts like this"

Brandon Carter: "OR ARE YOU A GIRL"

Brandon Carter: i'm pretty sure this movie would be at least 50% more entertaining to me if he was a girl

Brandon Carter: ...on second thought, nevermind

Brandon Carter: fuckin place is loaded with dudes

Brandon Carter: "I CAN KEEP SHIRT?!?!"

Brandon Carter: me after buying shirts i like

Brandon Carter: best way to flirt with any girl: give her your shirt

Brandon Carter: or your food

Brandon Carter: or your credit card informationj

Brandon Carter: or all three! : D

Brandon Carter: KAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Brandon Carter: most ineffective weapons against a kaiju ever

Brandon Carter: MEANWHILE AT THIS ONE ODDLY SPECIFIC LAKE THAT IS ON FIRE

Brandon Carter: oh hey son can stand now

Brandon Carter: still cannot make any noises that aren't reminiscient of a sad dog.

Brandon Carter: ROCK STATUS: BULLIED

Brandon Carter: GODZILLA'S TAIL STATUS: BULLIED

Brandon Carter: GODZILLA STATUS: so fucking done with this shit and it's not even a full scene

Brandon Carter: the movie isn't over

Brandon Carter: gOD DANG IT BOBBEH

Brandon Carter: ~Romantic Running Scene~

Brandon Carter: this woman is going to kill someone

Brandon Carter: but she's so happy!

Brandon Carter: so i'm happy.

Brandon Carter: ...don'tjudgeme

Brandon Carter: the gal is friends with minizilla

Brandon Carter: also WEIRD NOISES INTENSIFY

Brandon Carter: fucker is just hungry

Brandon Carter: :WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT DERPY FUCKER GO"

Brandon Carter: donkey noises intensify.

Brandon Carter: (why is that on the soundboard.)

Brandon Carter: "NO I WANT FUD" "nO YOU DUMBASS YER COMING WITH ME"

Brandon Carter: outright drags him

Brandon Carter: what a dad.

Brandon Carter: "WE MUST TRAVEL A VALLEY TO GET WARM RED WATER TO SAVE OUR FRIENDS. also a spider might be there lel"

Brandon Carter: not our friendly neighborhood yams

Brandon Carter: :I

Brandon Carter: anyway hey this sounds like a sideque-

Brandon Carter: "where spider" "underground!"

Brandon Carter: inb4 spider gets the case of kaiju syndrome

Brandon Carter: anything underground is going above ground

Brandon Carter: especially its its a kaiju.

Brandon Carter: if it's

Brandon Carter: tinier godzilla roar

Brandon Carter: that's cute

Brandon Carter: although the design choices are

Brandon Carter: QUESTIONABLE.

Brandon Carter: LEAVE THE LAKE ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE-

Brandon Carter: nice ring effect bud

Brandon Carter: good job son it only fucking took stepping on your tail to do things :I

Brandon Carter: HE DID IT

Brandon Carter: WAO

Brandon Carter: oh.

Brandon Carter: thats

Brandon Carter: a serious moment

Brandon Carter: D:

Brandon Carter: hat status: stylin

Brandon Carter: i know she's supposed to be picking herbs

Brandon Carter: but every time she grabs something off a tree i'm like

Brandon Carter: thinking

Brandon Carter: "HNNNNNNRG LEAAAF DELICIOUS"

Brandon Carter: its that stupid five year old reaction.

Brandon Carter: WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE WIDOW MAKER LOVES PARSLEY TOO

Brandon Carter: here comes the derpy zoofights

Brandon Carter: derp derp can't do the thing right because i am babby

Brandon Carter: also uh

Brandon Carter: woke up spider on accident

Brandon Carter: Just Baby Things~

Brandon Carter: WHAWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Brandon Carter: didn't even set the mantid on fire

Brandon Carter: For SHAME, Godzilla.

Brandon Carter: SPIDER IS NOT FRIENDLY

Brandon Carter: ABORT

Brandon Carter: what's stronger: the silk of a giant fucking spider

Brandon Carter: or 1 peasly baby lighter

Brandon Carter: the answer may surprise you.

Brandon Carter: and here's the part of the movie where i have nothing to say because i'm *FOCUSED*

Brandon Carter: and so is it!

Brandon Carter: woa

Brandon Carter: "fucker is waiting for us to come outside :I" "WE GOT RADIO BUT IT WON'T WORK UNLESS WE'RE OUTSIDE"

Brandon Carter: well shit

Brandon Carter: "I know another way out!"

Brandon Carter: : o

Brandon Carter: *VERY INAPPROPRIATE MUSIC*

Brandon Carter: "Gonna go look for something fun to do-" Son opens up some trees and its spider

Brandon Carter: "HEY KID YOU WANNA GO EAT SOME HUMANS"

Brandon Carter: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Brandon Carter: yes gently toss those rock props down, we can't actually have anyone getting hurt!

Brandon Carter: "we must freeze the monsters"

Brandon Carter: trust no kaiju

Brandon Carter: except for mothra

Brandon Carter: ...do i really want to make a lewd comment here

Brandon Carter: no i don't

Brandon Carter: USE YOUR RADIOACTIVE FIRE YOU DERP

Brandon Carter: i can't believe silk's enough to kill him

Brandon Carter: oh my god

Brandon Carter: DUN DUN

Brandon Carter: this is the part where the son of godzilla reveals himself to be the Son of Mothra instead right

Brandon Carter: this is also the part where rocks are intimidating

Brandon Carter: and widow maker does a belly flop

Brandon Carter: 10/10

Brandon Carter: UNLEASH LOTTIE

Brandon Carter: godzilla senses lottie is coming

Brandon Carter: time to kill a bitch

Brandon Carter: did yo ujust

Brandon Carter: prick her

Brandon Carter: like a mosquito

Brandon Carter: wha

Brandon Carter: the wimpiest throw i have ever seen

Brandon Carter: god

Brandon Carter: DAMN it

Brandon Carter: protecc

Brandon Carter: son

Brandon Carter: GODZILLA: DEFEATED BY SILLY STRING?

Brandon Carter: shit

Brandon Carter: let's be santa.

Brandon Carter: SHIT THEY'RE ALL SANTA

Brandon Carter: just

Brandon Carter: casually punt spider

Brandon Carter: wh

Brandon Carter: DID SPIDER JUST FUCKIN STAB HIM WITH

Brandon Carter: THING

Brandon Carter: LOTTIE ARRIVED

Brandon Carter: LIKE THE BIG FAT BASTARD SHE IS

Brandon Carter: no i'm not bitter about being cold right now, why do you ask?

Brandon Carter: tfw you "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" for a minute straight just because silk vs beams.

Brandon Carter: DOUBLE GODZY BEAAAMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Brandon Carter: and now the spider is on fire

Brandon Carter: jesus guys you can't be THAT heat resistant

Brandon Carter: WHAWHAAAAAAAA

Brandon Carter: the same noises i make when i'm baffled.

Brandon Carter: "why are you taking away my food"

Brandon Carter: "WHY ARE YOU LEAVNG DADDY!?"

Brandon Carter: minya proving to me that he is

Brandon Carter: still

Brandon Carter: a fucking dog in a kaiju suit

Brandon Carter: this would be more touching if minya had a cooler design.

Brandon Carter: ...hell with it, it's still touching.

Brandon Carter: but you guys didn't hear that from me

Brandon Carter: i was possessed by godzilla you see

Brandon Carter: uh

Brandon Carter: WELL, this was a rollercoaster

Brandon Carter: did not expect to be hit by so much stupid in the beginning, then end up enjoying it as much as I did

Brandon Carter: derptastic son, yo

Brandon Carter: not as much fun hand to hand (but then again, would YOU wrestle a spider?) but still, what there was was fun, not really much to be serious with.

Brandon Carter: I'm more surprised that everything tied up so nicely, after i figured it was all stupid fluff

Brandon Carter: also there's bugs?

Brandon Carter: there's bugs.

Brandon Carter: would I watch it again?

Brandon Carter: yes, but with a friend that hasn't so that i can be derptastic and also fail to hold back any hype imaginable.

Brandon Carter: 7.5/10. i loffed and i loffed

Brandon Carter: Wish I didn't have to basically get a STARZ subscription to watch, BUT that does open up some other Kaiju movies... including... the one I was trying to fucking watch before Ivel suggested we watch it.

Brandon Carter: >:I