Three Kingdoms Maids - Session 1

[23:25] = Three Kingdoms Maids =
[23:25] [Last time on Three Kingdoms Maids, Liu Bei captured the city of Wan! Our heroines were captured, but were graciously greeted by the Imperial Uncle, even having a banquet in their honor and an offer of employment in the Shu kingdom, which they accepted! We now join them as a new day dawns on Wan Castle!]
[23:30] * HanShi is doing her morning exercise. Can't live without one.
[23:30] <HanShi> Toh!
[23:30] * HanShi spins the heavy halberd like a cheerleader scepter.
[23:34] * HanShi's movement is not very fluid, but at least it's powerful. and that counts.
[23:35] * TsuoShi gets up cheerily. Battle always makes her energetic.
[23:40] [In the big training room down the hall, you suddenly hear the sounds of metal clashing against metal!]
[23:43] * TsuoShi dashes off! Oh, excitement!
[23:45] [Tsuo Shi is the first person to the training room and is treated to the spectacle of a sparring session between Generals Zhang Fei and Ma Chao!]
[23:46] <HanShi> Oh? Someone else doing a morning practice, too?
[23:46] * HanShi take a look, take a look.
[23:46] <TsuoShi> Waah!
[23:46] * TsuoShi watches in admiration.
[23:47] [The two men are currently taking turns parrying and returning each other's strikes, sparks flying every time their spears clash.]
[23:48] <HanShi> Hoh, so you two are the ace of Shu, eh?
[23:48] <HanShi> seeing you guys going at it hammer and thongs like this, I'm all fired up too!
[23:49] <TsuoShi> They're so cool!
[23:49] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Shhh! If there's one thing I've learned, it's best not to disturb Brother Fei while he practices!
[23:49] * [BNS]Liu_Bei suddenly appears behind the two girls!
[23:49] <HanShi> oh?
[23:49] <HanShi> Hello, big guy!
[23:49] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> ...big?
[23:49] <HanShi> I mean big as in position-ey big!
[23:49] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Where?
[23:50] * [BNS]Liu_Bei looks around somewhat perplexed
[23:51] * [BNS]Liu_Bei brushes off the curiosity and strides into the practice room.
[23:52] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Brother! It is good to see you practicing with Master Ma Chao like this!
[23:52] [Zhang Fei suddenly perks up as his brother pipes up, and inadvertantly swings his spear around, lopping Liu Bei's hat clean off!]
[23:53] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> !!!
[23:53] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Oh my!
[23:53] * [BNS]Liu_Bei watches his hat flutter to the ground
[23:53] * TsuoShi claps.
[23:55] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Zhang Fei: "Big Brother! I didn't see you there! You should be more careful!"
[23:55] [Ma Chao suddenly becomes aware that Liu Bei has arrived, and brings his spear to his side as he bows curtly.]
[23:55] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Ma Chao: "Good morning, my Lord."
[23:56] * HanShi bows as well.
[23:56] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Hahah, very good you two. I am truly blessed by Heaven to have such heroes as you by my side!
[23:56] <HanShi> Good morning, aces of the Shu! I'll leave myself to your care from now on!
[23:57] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Oh! Yes, you are the new handmaidens!
[23:57] * [BNS]Liu_Bei turns back to Han Shi
[23:57] <HanShi> Well I prefer to be called battlemaidens, but any title is fine really.
[23:57] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Very good! I have a request for you already!
[23:58] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Outside the city, there grow some very good berries that brew well with tea. Please retrieve some!
[23:59] <TsuoShi> ...
[23:59] <TsuoShi> Who're you?
[23:59] * TsuoShi pokes Han.
[23:59] <HanShi> ...uh, berry?
[23:59] * HanShi brush TsuoShi asides.
[23:59] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Yes! Berries!
[23:59] <HanShi> Thought you are going to send me to battle or something.
[23:59] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Very good with tea! And it is almost breakfast time!
[00:00] * [Rut]HuaShi enters, carrying a large bundle of practice spears (with some difficulty).
[00:00] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> It is very important!
[00:00] <HanShi> Uhh... ooookay?
[00:00] <HanShi> right. First task in queue cleared.
[00:00] * HanShi make a strikethrough gesture.
[00:00] * HanShi turns to TsuoShi.
[00:00] <HanShi> Alright. Hi. 'sup. Anything?
[00:00] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> I am sorry that I do not have something more exciting for you to do, but it is a peaceful time now and there are few things to be done!
[00:01] <[Rut]HuaShi> I've returned. Please try not to splinter these as well, the quartermaster said that if this continues, the men will not have-- Oh, good morning, Lord.
[00:01] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> As such, it would be nice to have good tea this morning!
[00:01] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> I will even invite you to share with me!
[00:01] * [Rut]HuaShi sets them to the side and bows deeply.
[00:02] * HanShi is currently disregarding Liu Bei's words. She's such an airhead.
[00:02] * [BNS]Liu_Bei raises his arms in a deferring gesture
[00:04] * [BNS]Liu_Bei growing somewhat distressed at the lack of regard for his request!
[00:04] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Ohh... well... oh dear...
[00:04] <HanShi> Anyway, since you don't talk I'll strike you out of my queue and go fetch some awesome berries.
[00:04] <HanShi> Cya, someone!
[00:04] * HanShi says bye at TsuoShi.
[00:05] <[Rut]HuaShi> --Ah, um, my Lord! Shall I accompany the new handmaidens?
[00:05] * [BNS]Liu_Bei nods to Hua Shi
[00:05] <[Rut]HuaShi> . o O ( And also, I don't want to get yelled at by the quartermaster again...)
[00:05] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Yes, please! The Berries are very important!
[00:05] <TsuoShi> Lord! Should I go as well?
[00:06] * [Rut]HuaShi bows again.
[00:06] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Yes, yes! Please!
[00:06] <[Rut]HuaShi> Right away.
[00:06] * [BNS]Liu_Bei hurries them along with a wave of his hand
[00:06] <TsuoShi> Will there be danger?!
[00:06] * [Rut]HuaShi hurries along. As instructed!
[00:06] <HanShi> Strangest thing a lord of the land would be so interested in a bunch of berries, but okay~
[00:06] * TsuoShi is hurried
[00:07] <TsuoShi> Do not question the lord's motives!
[00:07] * [Rut]HuaShi turns around and snatches HanShi by the wrist, pulling her along.
[00:07] <HanShi> Well. As an agent of Zian, I got wings for time's like this.
[00:07] * HanShi is about to take off using her white whings, but got pulled around and landed face-first!
[00:07] <HanShi> Kyan!
[00:12] <TsuoShi> Eh?
[00:12] * TsuoShi skids to a halt.
[00:12] <TsuoShi> Did you trip?
[00:13] <[Rut]HuaShi> Excuse me!
[00:13] <TsuoShi> Waste no time!
[00:14] <TsuoShi> Our mission is of highest importance!
[00:14] * TsuoShi dashes on ahead.
[00:14] * [Rut]HuaShi bows to Liu Bei, apologizing profusely, before dragging Han Shi, face-down, along with her.
[00:14] * [BNS]Liu_Bei scratches his head worriedly... wondering if he'll ever get his tea this morning.
[00:19] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> [Time passes and the girls find their way outside the city walls, looking for the berries.]
[00:21] <TsuoShi> ...So, what do these berries look like?
[00:21] <[Rut]HuaShi> Whew... we should hurry. When his Lordship gets like this, he won't calm down until he has his tea.
[00:21] <TsuoShi> Just any berries?
[00:22] <[Rut]HuaShi> Oh, forgive me. You may call me Hua Shi. I believe I remember the type his Lordship is fond of.
[00:23] <[k]hanShi> Ah.
[00:23] <[k]hanShi> name's Hanshi.
[00:23] <[k]hanShi> was a former Wei, haha.
[00:24] <TsuoShi> I'm TsuoShi~
[00:24] <TsuoShi> Glad to see someone who has joined our mighty cause.
[00:24] <TsuoShi> Fight well!
[00:24] <[k]hanShi> Anything for the good tea-addicted lord!
[00:24] * [k]hanShi cheers!
[00:25] <[Rut]HuaShi> Welcome, then. You must have made quite an impression on him to have had a banquet in your honor...
[00:25] <[Rut]HuaShi> . o O ( Though My Lord and his sworn brothers -do- seem to enjoy their banquets... )
[00:26] * [Rut]HuaShi sighs.
[00:26] <TsuoShi> Oh, right, the banquet tonight!
[00:26] <TsuoShi> I can't wait!
[00:27] <[k]hanShi> You like party, eh? So do I!
[00:27] <[k]hanShi> Did I mention to you that I have wings?
[00:27] * [k]hanShi shows it off!
[00:27] <TsuoShi> Whoah!
[00:27] <[k]hanShi> isn't that cool?
[00:27] * [k]hanShi flaps!
[00:27] <TsuoShi> THat is cool!
[00:27] <[k]hanShi> Totally birdy!
[00:27] <TsuoShi> Can I touch them?
[00:28] <[Rut]HuaShi> Y-yes, now, um... perhaps we should attend to the task at hand?
[00:28] <TsuoShi> Soon, soon!
[00:28] * [Rut]HuaShi looks around, trying to remember the sort that Liu Bei preferred.
[00:28] <[k]hanShi> yeah! Touch it!
[00:28] * TsuoShi feels.
[00:28] <[k]hanShi> Don't stroke it, though. It's pretty sensitive.
[00:28] <TsuoShi> It really does feel like a bird's!
[00:29] <[k]hanShi> Heh! Right? right?!
[00:29] <TsuoShi> I wish I had something cool like wings...
[00:29] <TsuoShi> Is it some sort of Tao magic?!
[00:29] <[k]hanShi> Well, I'm Zian's assistance!
[00:29] <TsuoShi> Zian?
[00:30] <[k]hanShi> Y'know? Old man that meditates a lot and got their immortality and stuff!
[00:30] <TsuoShi> Oh, neat!
[00:30] <[k]hanShi> the one that eat peaches and teach people about tao-ish thingy.
[00:30] * [k]hanShi seems to be talking alot and doesn't exactly care about that berries she's getting.
[00:31] <TsuoShi> I've just got these.
[00:31] * TsuoShi tweaks her cat ears.
[00:32] <TsuoShi> They're not as cool.
[00:33] <[k]hanShi> Ehh~
[00:33] * hanShi touches.
[00:33] <hanShi> Whoa! it's real!
[00:33] <TsuoShi> It is!
[00:34] <hanShi> you have tails too? You must have one I bet!
[00:34] * [Rut]HuaShi has given up on the other two and continues searching. Did they grow on a bush, or a tree...?
[00:34] <TsuoShi> Not telling~
[00:34] <hanShi> Just wait till you bathe. I'll assault you and check!
[00:35] <TsuoShi> Eh?!
[00:35] <hanShi> Just kiddin'~
[00:35] <TsuoShi> It's right behind me anyway! You don't need to go that far!
[00:35] * hanShi floats. looking around for berries goodness.
[00:35] * TsuoShi pulls her ail into view.
[00:35] <hanShi> hoh, so you DO have one!
[00:36] <TsuoShi> Of course!
[00:38] <[Rut]HuaShi> Honestly... please take this at least a little seriously...
[00:38] * [Rut]HuaShi ;_;
[00:38] <TsuoShi> We aaaare!
[00:38] <hanShi> Ah, right!
[00:38] <hanShi> what's the thing we supposed to get, again?
[00:38] <[Rut]HuaShi> ...
[00:38] <hanShi> Oh right! berries of some sort.
[00:39] * hanShi is an airhead but not stupid........yet.
[00:39] <[Rut]HuaShi> Yes. Please check over there. I will continue looking here.
[00:39] <TsuoShi> Alriiiight!
[00:39] * TsuoShi looks around.
[00:40] <TsuoShi> Not here!
[00:40] * hanShi search search. being aerial surveillance is nifty!
[00:41] [Suddenly, Han Shi finds herself struggling to dodge a volley of arrows!
[00:41] <hanShi> Wah!
[00:41] * hanShi land the fuck down!
[00:41] <hanShi> ARROWS!
[00:42] * hanShi sets her battlestance and lets the heavy halberd landed on the ground, sending a loud, threatening thud echoes.
[00:43] <TsuoShi> Arrows?!
[00:43] <TsuoShi> Battle!
[00:43] * TsuoShi assumes a ready stance.
[00:44] <hanShi> Yellow turbans?!
[00:45] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> A wall of brush separates the girls from where the arrows originated from... dare they peek through?
[00:46] <[Rut]HuaShi> Wha... what was that...
[00:46] * TsuoShi peeks through.
[00:48] [Tsuo Shi is greeted by the sight of an army wearing red uniforms.]
[00:48] <TsuoShi> Red uniforms!
[00:48] <hanShi> Not yellow, I see.
[00:49] * [Rut]HuaShi swallows the lump in her throat and tries to speak up.
[00:50] [Far in the back, you can see a banner flying that reads 'Sun Quan, Marquis of Wu']
[00:50] <TsuoShi> ...
[00:50] <TsuoShi> We should probably go back.
[00:50] * hanShi already rushed headlong into battle!
[00:51] <hanShi> Who shot me!? Who order that shot?! Someone is responsible for this, and he or she is in for a lot of explanation, hurting, or both!
[00:52] [Han Shi is suddenly stopped in her tracks by a flurry of slashes that surround her and cut off her charge!]
[00:52] <[Rut]HuaShi> ...Y-you bear arms on the lands of Liu Bei, leader of Shu! Explain yourselves!
[00:53] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Hey now! Can't have you rushing towards our army like that! As Vanguard leader, it's my job to stop any oncoming attacks!
[00:53] <TsuoShi> Oh yeah?!
[00:53] <TsuoShi> Are you friends or foes?!
[00:54] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> We're of the Wu Kingdom. We're here to claim this city, of course.
[00:54] <[Rut]HuaShi> Vanguard?! You mean to attack?
[00:54] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Attack, capture, whatever. All I'm in charge of is fighting!
[00:55] * [BNS]Gan_Ning spins one of his knives in his hand
[00:56] <TsuoShi> Not on my watch!
[00:56] <[BNS]Gan_Ning>  I don't /need/ to kill you poor ladies. You can always surrender peacefully and we'll take you as prisoners of course!
[00:56] <TsuoShi> That's what we should be saying to you!
[00:56] <TsuoShi> Surrender now, or all your lives are forefeit!
[00:56] <hanShi> whoa whoa!
[00:57] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Oho! So it's a fight then! Good, I was starting to get bored waiting for the battle to start! This'll be a good warmup!
[00:57] <hanShi> Wait. Lessee.
[00:57] <hanShi> Waaaaaitaminute.
[00:57] * [BNS]Gan_Ning orders his men to stand down
[00:57] * hanShi hands up.
[00:57] <hanShi> a word.
[00:57] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> I'll take care of this myself.
[00:57] * [BNS]Gan_Ning is surprised!
[00:57] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Uh? Sure!
[00:57] <[Rut]HuaShi> Wait! This is a mistake! Let me speak to your commander.
[00:57] <hanShi> Tell me. Who's your lord?
[00:58] <TsuoShi> Why aren't we killing them yet?
[00:58] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Nuh-uh, no can do ladies. Can't risk having you get close to Lord Sun Quan. You might be assassins for all I know!
[00:58] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Better to just take care of you right here and now.
[00:58] <hanShi> HAH! So his name is Sun Quan!
[00:58] <hanShi> Gotcha~
[00:59] * [BNS]Gan_Ning spins his knives again and brings them up in front of him
[00:59] <hanShi> Say, say, is Sun Quan guy cool?
[00:59] <hanShi> like, is he as awesome as my former lord Cao Cao or this guy Liu Bei?
[00:59] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Man, you really get around, huh?
[00:59] <TsuoShi> Heeey! You're not thinking of defecting, are you?
[01:00] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Sorry! My lord doesn't take in lost pets!
[01:00] <hanShi> Well, as a beauty like I am I'm always wanted from male around the kingdom!
[01:00] <hanShi> Dohohohoho~
[01:00] * hanShi imitates ojousama laughs.
[01:00] <TsuoShi> I thought we were friends!
[01:01] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Ok! Chat's over! Time to fight then!
[01:01] * [BNS]Gan_Ning suddenly leaps into the air!
[01:01] <hanShi> Wait wha-
[01:02] <TsuoShi> Alright!
[01:02] * TsuoShi leaps as well!
[01:03] * hanShi wings up!
[01:07] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> I am Gan Ning of the Bells! You'll regret crossing paths with me!!
[01:08] [And so, in the course of a simple task of gathering berries, our heroines have encountered the vanguard of an incoming enemy army! Now they're facing one of the fiercest generals of the Wu Kingdom! Will they manage to get back to Wan in time to warn Liu Bei and the others? Find out next time!]