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- EnfEnfEnfq, July 16, 2014; 17:44 / FB 23829
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- The Garden
- Challenge 58
- -------------------------
- >Be inventor/geneticist
- >For the past seven decades you have attempted to achieve the impossible
- >they_called_me_a_madman.png
- >But today you've finally found success
- >You've bred the first pair of superobedient fluffies with no smarty trait
- >First you tried your experiment with unicorns, this did not go well
- >You still haven't quite gotten the bad-poopies smell out of your grand piano and your poor labrador hasn't been the same since Lucifer, well, em,
- >Never did find out where the little bastard went
- >Next you tried pegasi
- >Pegasi were quite successful at first
- >Charming, obedient to a fault, eager to please
- >But they have no personality or strength of will
- >It's like owning a talking toaster with wings
- >You still use them as an automated fluffy based messanging service, just for kicks
- >Then the eureka moment hit: Earthies
- >Several bowls of sketti, a blender and some noxious chemicals later you have all the earthie DNA you could possibly want
- >The process was gruelling and unforgiving
- >You worked 90 hour weeks, then worked some more
- >Sometimes you woke up only to find you'd sleep-scienced your whole way through the night
- >You even developed a schitzophrenic alter-ego who worked as a botanist and developed a fluffy super-aphrodisiac
- >You spent some time with a therapist over that, but it looks pretty fucking awesome in the middle of your garden
- >But eventually you made it
- >One coffee drenched morning, you stared into the gestation tank, and there lay two perfect fluffies
- >Obedience tests soon confirmed what you already knew, these fluffies were perfect
- >Delighted with yourself, you decided to let them have a run in the garden
- >"This garden is my pride and joy, I give it to you to do with as you will. Just don't eat that red fruit over there, not good for fluffies"
- >so_fucking_tired.bmp
- >I'm going upstairs for a nap
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- >Be Eve
- >Today is the bestest day ever!
- >Your daddeh Adonai let you and your bestest friend Adam play in his garden
- >You spend the whole day playing chasey games, numming nice planties and talking to the wingie friends
- >There's a very pretty tree in the middle of the garden with some yummy looking frooties, but daddy said they're very bad for fluffies
- >Eventually Adam gets tired and lies down for a nap, so you start playing the chasey game with a pretty flutterby
- >Ooof! "Whoo yu?"
- >You run into a big green stallion
- >"Fwuffy am wucifah. Yu pwitty mawe, wan be wucifah speshew fwend?"
- >You giggle "Wat speshew fwend?"
- >Lucifer tells you lots of strange things
- >You nod and try to understand, but it's all so complicated
- >You start to fall asleep
- >Huh? Special tree? But Daddeh told you not to go near the special tree!
- >Then lucifer explains to you how it's all really a test
- >You know all about tests, daddeh gives you lots of tests and you always make him very happy when you do what he tells you to
- >Daddeh wants you to eat the special frooties after all!
- >Confidently you march over to the special tree
- >Fortunately the frooties are low enough for fluffies to reach
- >The wingie friends seem angry and try to stop you, but that's ok, lucifer said they're part of the test too
- >You start to do like lucifer said and pull down the branchie with your mouth
- >Bump! Tumble!
- >Suddenly you're on the ground and the branchie is shaking, but you have the frootie!
- >Licking your lips, you begin to num the tasty frootie
- >better_than_sketti.jpg
- >After a while the frootie is all gone and your head is swimmy
- >Your nonos feel very very strange
- >"Vewwy guuuud pwitty mawe, vewwy gud, cwap cwap. Frootie am gud nummies?"
- >You nod to lucifer, still not sure about that feeling in your nonos
- >"Hewe, haf anuvvah frootie. Mebbe Adam wike frootie too?"
- >Somehow this seems like a good idea, so you trot off in a daze looking for your bestest friend
- -------------------------
- >Be fluffy scientist again
- >You wake up from your nap feeling 100% better
- >Only slept a few hours, but it's time to feed the fluffies
- >You frown, something is wrong, the sound of passioned enfing drifts up from the garden below
- >The smile falls off your face and you race down the stairs two at a time
- >You burst out onto your patio of science only to be greeted by a denuded hyper-aphrodisiac tree, two enfing failed experiments and a suspiciously innocent Lucifer looking up at you with a smile on his face
- >"Hewwoh Daddeh, Wucifah back."
- -------------------------
- >Many hours later
- >You wonder if you were too harsh on them
- >You kicked them out of the garden obviously, the wasteland behind your house is good enough, they can live there while you figure out what to do
- >Turning lucifer into a pillowfluff in front of them might have been a bit much though
- >Somehow when your back was turned he managed to wriggle over to Adam and bite his heel, but Adam stomped on him until he wriggled away again
- >Le sigh
- >Maybe you're approaching this from the wrong perspective
- >Maybe to understand fluffies you need to become one
- >A strange thought begins to form in your mind
- >What if... a fluffy were born, but with your brilliant intellect
- >A fluffy with the mind of a scientist!
- >After all, if a fluffy had your towering intellect bringing a message of peace and hope, they'd have to be nice to him, right?
- >Eagerly you begin your work, you shall send your only son to the fluffies, and take away their enf
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