Hogfather - Crystal Ball

'I anticipated a certain amount of resistance from the patient,' said the Archchancellor.

He removed his hat and fished out a small crystal ball from a pocket in the lining.

'Let's see what the God of Wine is up to at the moment, shall we? Shouldn't be too difficult to locate a funloving god like him on an evening like this . . .'

He blew on the glass and polished it. Then he brightened up.

'Why, here he is, the little rascal! On Dunmanifestin, I do believe. Yes ... yes ... reclining on his couch, surrounded by naked maenads.'

'What? Maniacs?' said the Dean.

'He means ... excitable young women,' said Susan.

And it seemed to her that there was a general ripple of movement among the wizards, a sort of nonchalant drawing towards the glittering ball.

'Can't quite see what he's doing,' said Ridcully.

'Let me see if I can make it out,' said the Chair of Indefinite Studies hopefully.

Ridcully half turned to keep the ball out of his reach. 'Ah., yes,' he said. 'It looks like he's drinking . . . yes, could very well be lager and blackcurrant, if I'm any judge . . .’

'Oh, me . . .' moaned the oh god.

'These young women, now--' the Lecturer in Recent Runes began.

'I can see there's some bottles on the table,' Ridcully continued. 'That one, hmm, yes, could be scumble which, as you know, is made from apple.-,

'Mainly apples,' the Dean volunteered. 'Now, about these poor mad girls-'

The oh god slumped to his knees.

'. . . and there's ... that drink, you know, there's a worm in the bottle . . .’

'Oh, me . . .'

'. . . and ... there's an empty glass, a big one, can't quite see what it contained, but there's a paper umbrella in it. And some cherries on a stick. Oh, and an amusing little monkey.'

‘ooohhh . . .'

‘…of course, there's a lot of other bottles too,' said Ridcully, cheerfully. 'Different coloured drinks, mainly. The sort made from melons and coconuts and chocolate and suchlike, don'tcherknow. Funny thing is, all the glasses on the table are pint mugs . . .'

Bilious fell forward. 'All right,' he murmured. 'I'll drink the wretched stuff.’

***

Hogfather - p154-155