Thread 22: Stories 1-15

Thread 22 archive: http://archive.heinessen.com/mlp/thread/17846420
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In an alternate future
Next Saturday AD
There was a pone named Pinkie
Frustrating as can be

She kept breaking the fourth wall
Just to try to get more screentime is all
She did a good job breaking up the pace
But anon didn't like it so he sent her beyond fourth wall space

We send her awful movies
The worst that we can find
She'll have to sit and watch them all
And we'll laugh as she starts to cry

Now keep in mind she can't control
When the movies start or end
Because we removed those special parts
But at least let her have her friends

Princess AJ Roll Call!

Cheesy!
>Polka!
AJ
>Good lawrdy
Celestia
>Praise it!
Spiiiiiike!
>Bang.

If you're wondering how much she can eat or party
And other autstic facts
Just remember it's a little girl's cartoon
And you should remember to just relax

Princess
Applejack
Theater
6000!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"2"
~~~~~

>COSUNANASLAMMA! TWO! I HAVE STUNNING NEWS!

"WHAT!?"

>No, really, you're not going to believe this.

"WHAT IS IT!?"

>You sure you want to know? You'll never be the same after this, I promise you. It's a revelation for all of the ages!

"JUS' TELL ME WHAT!"

>YOU'RE ADOPTED!

"..."

>...

"...Shiny said ta' tell on you if ya' started sayin' that."

>Uh... but if you do that, how will you hear my STORYTIIIIIIIMMMME!

"YAAAY!"

>When we last left Momsie, she had just won the stunning contest of beauty!...Well, technically that was the time before last, but timeline wise that was before everything else...

"..."

>...This is the tale of Momsie, and The Cave of the Sun!

"Like, Auntie Celestia's sun?"

>Not even close! Momsie was tired after her recent excursion outwitting her foes, so she sent out her scouts to go and find her a place to rest for the night. It was not long at all before one of them returned, eager to show her this new place he had found! He said it was a path deep below the earth, one that led to a massive door guarded by two giant stone monsters!

"That doesn't sound very safe."

>Oh, but it was! For you see, they were guards only, they did not attack. Momsie could set up her hive right in front of them, and they wouldn't so much as twitch. But there was something tempting about that door. Something that compelled Momsie to want to go inside. Something... drawing her in.

"So she went in?"

>Pfft, no! She sent a drone in first. Gotta send the canary into the mines before you dig, Two.

"...What does that mean?"

>...C-... canaries are... really... really good at gauging dangerous mines?

"How?"

>...Bird powers. They have them. BUT ANYWAY! She sent in the drone, awestruck as the doors swung open and a brilliant, almost blinding light engulfed the room! She watched him go in... and he never came back out.

"Oh no! So Momsie went in after him!?"

>Of course not... because she had a rescue team, yeah! A rescue team to go and save that poor changeling. But first, she needed information. So she asked the guardians about the room, and they said to her "This is the vault of the sun. It's room is one of magic, and of mind. It will test to see if you are worthy, and reward you if you are. If you should make it to the end of the path, you shall find riches beyond your wildest dreams."

"Ooooo."

>Now, Momsie was no fool, obviously. So she figured she there was something more than met the eye with this. For starters, if this room WAS of mind and magic, why did it need to be so far down? And if the room had it's own power, why would it need giant stone guardians? Something was up.

"What'd she do?"

>What else? She sent in her... 'rescue team' one by one, attaching a magical beacon to them to see just how far they got. Some of them didn't make it very far, but other... She was almost out of drones to send, but the last one... they made it further than any of the others, and almost made it back before they were cut off.

"So Momsie went and rescued them!?"

>Nope.

"NOPE!?"

>Nope. She thanked the guardians for letting her drones try, and she left.

"B-b-but... but ya' can't just leave!"

>Oh ho, little one, did you really think Momsie would leave so easily? Noooo... she had a plan now.

"...Huh?"

>She exited the cave in the daylight sun, and she began to follow where she had felt her changelings go. Further... and further... until she was riiight over top where the last one had reached. And then you know what she did?

"What?"

>Had her minions start to dig. They dug and dug and dug so fast it would put a gopher to shame! And eventually, they found it, hundreds of feet down. A stone wall, right where it should be. Momsie smashed the wall and dropped right in. And there they were...

"Who!?"

>The one behind this insidious trap! A giant, luminous creature with great big ugly butterfly wings, and a totally fake smile. She mockingly congratulated Momsie for thinking creatively and making it to the end, but Momsie was having none of it! "GIVE ME.... Uh... GIVE MY MY DRONES!" she cried! Completely ignoring the riches thing because they were obviously more important. She just frowned, and revealed her true form! A giant figure made out entirely of light! SHOOM SHOOM SHOOM! She started firing at Momsie, taunting her with stuff like "A heart so black does not deserve r-... your friends!"

"OH NO!"

>Oh yes! Momsie was always one step ahead! This was intentional, you see. She had used this attack as a diversion, bringing the creature right under the hole Momsie had used to enter, and...

"AND!?"

>TSSSSSSSSSS! Acid POURED all over her! Drenching every inch in Momsies patented pile of PAIN! OHHH! She screamed! SHE SCREAMED!

"..."

>...AND WAS TOTALLY PARALYZED BUT NOT IN ANY PAIN IT WAS JUST REALLY FRUSTRATING!

"Yeah, that sounds like it would be."

>Triumphant, Momsie walked over to the chest the thing had been guarding so closely, and flund it open to find!... NOTHING! It was all a trick! A ruse! There was never any riches at the end, just some stupid metaphor because OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN BUY STUFF WITH METAPHORS, RIGHT!? IT'S NOT STUPID AT ALL!

"..."

>... But Momsie realized the real treasure was her hive! And all of the rescue team who was totally alive and not killed by traps in gruesome ways.

"...Well, I mean, yeah, if they were alive why would they-"

>And nobody ever tried to go into the temple again, because Momsie broke it, the evil lady was arrested and everything was great, the end!

"YAYYY!... What happened ta' the box?"

>Eh, Momsie sold it to some chump in the next town. Ripped him off right good.

"..."

>...Cause he was evil. Goodnight, squirt!

"But it's only six o' clock. Ah' was just dryin' mah' duckie cause he got wet in the bath..."

>...
"..."
>...
"..."
>...MINDZAP!

"ZZZZzzzzzz..."

>...And now we pray Shiny never finds out I did that...

"Zzzzz..."

>...Because obviously he'd get mad for hurting HIS real treasure, wouldn't he? Damn, I sound cheesy, this stuff is getting to me... Goodnight, Two.

"...Gms...zzzz..."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-canon.

>AJ56
“Twilight”
‘Arana’
_________

>Okay, I’m sick’a this bologna right here.

‘Wh-what is this… buhlooney and why does it make you sick?’

>A bologna is a high ledge that you can stand on!

‘…that… that doesn’t sound right.’

>I don’t get it either, but nevertheless! This ends today, spiderchick!

‘Um, my n-name is Ara-’

>Alrighty then, Ara! It ends today!

‘…’

>But before I end all our sufferin’, one for good luck? I’m thinkin’ one for good luck.

‘One what for good lu-….’

She abruptly paused when she felt his hooves on her rear, clenching as if her rump were a life raft. Then she gasped when his face vanished between her cheeks.

‘…o-oh.’

>Mmmmmmmwah!

Her extra eight legs all shot out.

‘D-d-d-did you just…?’

>Yup! A good luck kiss and I’m all set. Catch ya later, Ara-Ara!

When 56 bounced off, Arana was motionless for a moment. She then pulled out her notebook full of names and, using one of her still stiff legs, wrote down beside 56 ‘do not eat, potential new hive member’.

~~~~~~

>Heeeeeey, Twilight!

“Like, omuhgosh, 56! Bustin’ all up in a mare’s lab like you done dropped a dime in rent, totes inappropes, fella!”

>I... what? Are you possessed…? Is that it, is that what this is? Caught a ghost in ya?

“I’m possessed with the burning need to fix that travesty you dare call a ‘do, boy! Look at it, all bedheadish and everywhere, lookin’ like a scarecrow!”

>Touch my hair and I set fire to everything in here. Hear me? Everything. Even the stuff already on fire.

“Hey, hey, hey, no need to be such a hothe-”

>DON’T YOU DARE FINISH THAT!

“Woooow, like, sparks just flew right outta your eyes!”

>OWWWWWW!

“Maybe that’s a side-effect from sticking your face all up in Celestia’s badonkadonk! Can’t blame ya though, those suns be mouthwaterin’, get anypony weak in the knees! If I were gay, not saying I am but if I were, I’d ride that sun around the galaxy and back!”

Hoof to his burning eyes, 56 grunted as he reached behind his back.

>I’m sorry to do this to you, Twi’, but enough is enough. I’ve got to bring you back to your old eggheaded self ‘cause you’re drivin’ us all in-buckin’-sane.

“What’cha mean?”

>BEHOLD!

It was almost dramatic, the way 56 whipped a piece of lined paper into view, the look on his face utterly solemn as he held it to the light. When he did, the glistening black ink revealed an assortment of mathematical problems-

>THESE… ARE ALL WRONG! WHAT SAY YOU TO THIS?

And he was right. As Twilight took a second look, craning her neck, she saw that a majority, if not all of the problems were incorrect. Hell, some of the answers were pictures.

“…I… th-these….”

>Yes… yes! Come back, Twi’. Come ba-

“These panties are just sooooo snug, it feels like I’m wearing nothing at all! Check ‘em!”

When Twilight suddenly whirled around, bending her front half to the ground in order to thrust out her rear, 56 saw that she was indeed wearing underwear, stripped underwear at that. With frill even.

>…

“Aren’t they just totally the cutest? I’m broke like a sidewalk mare but it was worth it, I bought the whole set!”

He came with noble intentions. He really did. He’d had a plan of salvation and stuck with it until the very end… but, as the paper slipped from his paper to flutter uselessly to the ground, even he could not resist the plump offering before him.

>Buck it, I tried!

And he lost himself to the warmth her posterior provided, snuggling deep into that crevice.

“W-whoa! Dang boy, you move fast! Not even gonna wine’n’dine me first, eh?”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>2
"Gilda"
~~~~

>Hey, miss Gilda?

"Aw, crap. Uh, you're that one the white pony adopted, right?"

>Yep!

"Shoot. Can't tell you to sod off... what is it?"

>Do ya' have bird powers too?

"...Do... do I what?"

>Bird powers. Do ya' have 'em? Not-mom says cranberries have bird powers for mines, but yer' bigger than onna' them, so I don't know if ya' had bigger bird powers or not.

"...C-...what!?"

>Oh! Does you bein' bigger mean ya' can tell when a mine is REALLY dangerous?

"I... what!?"

>...OH! Cadberries! That was.. no, wait...

"..."

>...The little birds that go tweet!

"Do... don't most of them?"

>...CANARIES! That was it! Do ya' have canary powers?

"...Canaries can tell if a mine is dangerous? How?"

>...Bird powers?

"That doesn't sound right, I need to investigate-"

~~~~~

"YOU SICK FUCKING FREAKS! FIND THE TALLEST SPIRE IN TARTARUS AND YOU RIDE IT YOU FUCKERS!"

Someday, Applejack hoped she would learn the reason why Gilda had just shoved a bird cage on her head.

But she doubted it.
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>29
"Trixie"
'MM'
[Zecora]
~~~~~

>Okay, and with that flash we add another to our tally!

"MY EYES!"

>Yes yes, your eyes. Always so self centered on the wants of thine personal needs, so entrenched in the desires of the moment that the grand picture becomes naught but filler, bread in your meal of life.

"SHUT UP AND HELP TRIXIE!"

'What do you want us to do? We can't fix your eyes. Only one of us has any form of magic, and he sucks at it.'

>Well excuse my species from it's very core for not taking too much stock in the wants of the optometry business! We don't even share the same eyes!

[I have some healing powder within my purse, but fair warning, it is old and might make it worse.]

'Why carry it then?'

[It is mostly just for show, but then again you never know.]

"Fine... it's fine... I can see again... sweet Celestia's flanks on high that is painful."

>You think your woes are of note? I FEEL that every time it happens. Like a blade of light piercing to my very core.

"No no, it's fine, you don't have to apologize."

>...Damn it.

'He wasn't-'

>Just wait for it.

"Surely, instead, you are allowed to cover Trixie's half of the rent for the month. She will look the other way just this once."

>This is month four, by the way.

"ONE MORE GOOD RUN, and The Great and Powerful Trixie is back to being the WEALTHY and FINANCIALLY WELL OFF Trixie!"

>She gambles all the time, it's a problem.

"It would only be a problem if Trixie bet more than she owed and had to take up that offer made for dancing, but she does not! The AMAZING and PERFECT Trixie is not dancing for bits! She would rather stay with the less amazing and only so-so 29 for all of time!"

>Never once have I doubted this, and it frightens me.

'Ouch, be weary of the gambling, Trix. Watched a LOT of my peers lose more than they ever thought making bets. The old mayor of Coltsington off the way ended up doing a live show with a... you know what, I'll just say she ended up not sitting right for a week. And she STILL owed about five thousand bits.'

"...The wise and all knowing Trixie shall keep this in mind."

>You're never going to leave my apartment, are you?

"Rejoice! You get to spend more time with the wondrous, the amazing, the most spectacular pony who ever lived! The GREAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE!"

>...Zecora?

[I do not care if you offer riches as deep as the sea. No way is she moving in with me.]

>...I was actually wondering if you could drug her or something. Change her mind.

[Oh!... Yes. Yes I can. It is called a strong arm, and pan.]

"Bite my MASSIVE and FULL ASS!"

'...Zecora's is bigger.'

>...Wow, it really is.

[Oh you!]

"DO NOT IGNORE TRIXIE! GAZE UPON HER GREATNESS!"

>...
'...'
[...]

"...And we will never speak of the day Trixie mooned you all again, right?"

>...
'...'
[...]

"...R-right?"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chitania
"Chitania's mother"
~~~~~

>Are we going to help them?

The massive Queen beside her didn't even bother to look at the chaos reigning down below in the small, nearly hidden village on the edge of the kingdom. No, she was much more content to continue her game of smashing her hoof down in front of a drone over and over like he was a tiny insect... which he technically was, comparatively.

"Of course, once my fool of a cousin is dead. Then we will swoop in, destroy her remains and pluck up whatever soldiers are left, then maybe we'll put the drones to work, we'll see."

>There is only the one sorcerer that is any match for her, we could easily step in before she is killed.

"Do not be silly, what could be in it for us if we do?"

>...An ally?

"HAH! HAHAHAHAHA! Y-you can't be serious! We Queens do not ally, you fool! Ohh, I am glad I do not yet feel even a spark of love for you in my heart, imagining you succeeding me with that attitude disgusts me to my very core!"

Her tone was playful, but her sudden tiring of the game with the drone implied it was more than a little facetious.

>They die all the time, do you not worry that soon there will be no Queens left?

"Worry? Daughter, your head is too light. There are dozens of us out there. Even if fifty Queens died tomorrow, we would be in fine shape. The Changelings will last until the end of time, and many years beyond. We are as sure as the rising sun. To worry about this is to worry about the air around you suddenly becoming toxic."

>...

"...You are thinking of going down there, aren't you?"

>We are the mightiest, are we not? How can we prove it if we hide like all the others? I feel like one of those drones down there. Weak. Pathetic... small.

"...Then go, I will not stop you. By all means, you are as easily replaceable as any one of those drones, I assure you. Maybe I'll take up her daughter as my own, wouldn't that be nice? She'll be so grateful when I burn her mothers corpse and keep us secret like that fool never could."

Chitania did not answer, she merely prepared to jump.

"...Though I do wonder what good you will be. You have not yet managed to fully realize your titanic form. You surely would be more useless than a Queen."

>...No. They are the useless ones. Those Queens are the weak ones who should look to ME! I shall stand above everything someday, and I shall not do it by hiding!

"..."

>TODAY, LET THE NAME OF CHITANIA BE KNOWN!

With a roar, she hurled herself off the edge of the cliff, diving headlong into the guards and making a clear path towards the warring Queen and Sorcerer in the middle of town.

"...Heh."

She couldn't keep the smirk of pride off her face.

"...She's going to rule the world someday."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Suckerpunch
"AJ41"

>...

"..."

>Are you gonna-

"Ssssshhhh!"

AJ41 glares at Suckerpunch.

"I'm strategizing."

>You can't be ser-

"Sssssshhhh!"

>Fuck you.

"Bite me."

>I did, remember? You taste terrible.

"I do not!"

>You totally taste awful.

"You would say that, herbivore loser."

>What's that got to do with anything?

"You only ever eat grass and crap like that, your pallet is as uneducated as well...the rest of you."

>Hey, you can make some great stuff with just vegetables and fruits!

"Call me when you can sample the deliciousness of a steak, hippy."

>Not cool, I knew a cow growing up. She was a sweet old lady.

"Blah blah blah free love blah blah blah!"

>Snrk...

"What?"

>I dunno, just seems like you would be all over free love, isn't that like an all you can eat buffet?

"According to 77 it's not all it's cracked up to be."

>77?

"AJ77, no not...pfff...can you imagine?"

>Tie-dye eyepatch.

"Ha! Ok, one, begrudging respect on that one, two, you ever piss me off, I'm telling him that."

>Shit.

"Now let's see here..."

>Hey you want to go get a drink after this?

"Do what?"

>A drink? At a bar?

"Uh...why?"

>I dunno...just...

"Ahhh, I get it, if we both just happen to be in a brawl, that doctor can't say we sought each other out! You're a genius you dumb asshole!"

>Yeah...that was totally what I was going for.

In an instant the changeling knocks over the tower of Jengallop blocks the two had been agonizing over for hours.

"Enough of this stupid game, back to basics!"

>Yeah!

The two run off to cause a bar brawl, one slightly less enthusiastic than the other.
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>Dadling
"Bat-mom"
~~~~

>So, how's it looking?

"She uh... she did my hair."

>...Why?

"I guess this helps?"

>That doesn't seem medically sound.

"You don't know, you're not a doctor."

>I will have you know I've been playing operation all day, thank you! I'm learning!

"..."

>...Wait a minute, is she actually a doctor?

"I didn't see a diploma, but she seems way smarter than all of the doctors."

>Huh...

"...I kind of like it."

>Well, too bad, I'm probably going to snuggle it into a crazed mess tonight.

"Meh, take some you lose some... She was acting really weird, though, now that I think about it."

>What did she do?

"Painted my hoof some weird off-pink."

>DEAR LORD! SHE'S POSSESSED!

"Dear, she's not-"

>KILL IT WITH FIRE!

"...Pretty sure that's illegal?"

>Meh, only one way to find ou-

~~~~~

>Sure illegal, to clarify. That is super, super illegal.

"YA' THINK!?"
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>Spike
"Arana"
~~~

>Arana! Just who I wanted to see. Listen, I need to get some information off of you.

"Uh, what kind? Scidderella said we're supposed to keep most of our stuff a secret."

>Yeah, kind of a running theme with you guys... but that's okay! Nothing personal or hive threatening, I promise. Just want a bit of history.

"Oh... okay? Sure. But uh, why?"

>Well, a uh... a friend of mine is not acting like herself, so I'm thinking if she gets some info on a new kind of Changeling she'll snap out of it!

"I'm not a different species, you know that right? I grew these with magic."

>Close enough! Now, let's start with the... relatively safe stuff.. you guys have a set area for your hive?

"No? That would be silly. Sciderella ate everything, no way would she be able to stick around for long."

>Ah. Let's skip the food source-

"Good, cause that would take forever! There were ponies, manticores, dragons, lizards, bears, bunnies, birds... pretty much everything she dissolved in acid and ate their hearts."

>W-... why would she need to dissolve them before she ate their hearts?

"She didn't, that would be silly. She could've ripped the heart right out if she wanted to. No way was dissolving them for two hours faster than a chest stab."

>...Two hours.

"Probably... I didn't have a watch, I didn't have any bits and Sciderella said I didn't need them."

>And NOBODY caught on to this.

"No, some investigator ponies caught on sometimes. She ate them."

>...

"Well, there was this ONE time these two dragons caught on, so Sciderella mind controlled one of them and made them fight to the death and framed, just, a BUNCH of missing ponies on them."

>...

"But hey! She only accidentally alerted an army twice!"

>..How... how did she-

"Get out of it? Same way everyone did! They called Chitania!... Cept when she was bein' a jerk and ignorin' us."

>...You know what? I uh... I have plenty. Thanks.

"Anytime! Wow, this is fun, I should do it more often?"

>Suuuure.. sure...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>42
"Chrysalis"
~~~~

>Majesty, I just want you to know that normally, I would do anything you asked, anything at all that you requested. But just this once, I'm protesting.

"..."

>...No, that look is not going to cut it this time. I am very, very against this. I am against this as a core concept, you have to know.

"Look, Gyrinidae's technique is perfectly fine! It's sure to work!"

>...

"...Okay, fine, it mostly DIDN'T, but only because she never got the chance to perfect it! Which is why you are here, perfecting time!"

>Then you do it.

"Hell no, that's wa-... I mean..."

>...Go on, you get in the pool. Go ahead.

"I'm needed up here to make sure you... don't drown? Yes! If it looks like you are in trouble, I'll pluck you right out."

>...Please don't make me do this.

"...FIIIIINNEE! But if we lose the Equestrian Games swimming competition-"

>Is that even still on?

"I have NO idea. But if it is, and we lose it, I am going to be so mad! Gyrinidae's technique for rocket swimming is PERFECT for this!"

>..

"...Or at least it would be if she hadn't drowned trying to perfect it."

>...

"...Plan B it is! I need you to breath in this helium-"

>No.

"WORK WITH ME ON THIS!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chitania
" Other Queen "
~~~~

It was peaceful out tonight. Easily the best rest Chitania had ever had. The moon was so beautiful, the land around her so peaceful, the quiet in the air positively relaxing. If she could live any night over and over again, it wold be this one. Her hive was safe beneath her, there was no chance of being discovered, and she could rest. Beautiful... beautiful rest...

So, of course, her horn picked that moment to start flickering and vibrating.

>SNK-HRK!?... H-... Ugghhhh... Hello?

"CHITTY!? Chitania! It's me! Chitty you gotta get up!"

>...Saturnia, is that you?

"Chitania it's serious! C'mon you gotta get up!"

>Do you...*YAAAWWWNN*... Do you have any idea what time it is? I don't. Because sleep, Saturnia. Sleep that was nice.

"CHITTY HELP ME PLEASE!"

>Fine, you know what? Fine. We're fine with this. Didn't want to sleep anyway.

"CHITANIA!"

>Calm down! For fucks sake, will you just tell me what's wrong?

"I DID A BAD THING CHITTY!"

>No kidding. This is, what, the seventh time you called me this year? I meant specifics, Saturnia, specifics.

"I stabbed a guy, Chitty! I stabbed him and there's blood everywhere!"

>That doesn't sound so bad.

"He's an arch duke and I am surrounded, Chitty! I'M FUCKING SURROUNDED!"

>So use your damn mind control.

"It's not clicking with you Chitty, this isn't getting through, I am fucking OUT of magic! I had to eat one of my drones just to call you! And guess what, spoilers, THAT WAS THE ONLY ONE I BROUGHT! Everyone else is outside the castle! This is bad, Chitty! I CAN'T DISGUISE MYSELF CHITTY! THIS IS FUCKED!"

>If you keep calling me Chitty I'm going to hang up.

"CHITANIA PLLLEEEEEAAASSSE! UHDUHWANNA DIE LIKE THIIIIISSSS!"

>Oh Love-damn it you're crying.

"UH DUN WANNA BE DA' WUN WHO MESSED IT ALL UPPPPP, THEY'LL KNOW IT WAS MEEEE! CHITUNUNI! COME PICK ME UUUUUUPPP! PLEEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSE!"

>Fine! Fine for fucks sake, I'll be over there in a bit. You can't miss me, I'll be the fucking dragon 'randomly' attacking the castle. Just keep the door locked for the next hour or so and I'll be there, okay?

"...Yuh... yuh mean it?"

>Yes, Saturnia, I mean it. I'm coming to pick you up right now, I'm taking off as we speak.

"...Uhhhkayyy.... T-thanks Chitty... I-I'll bake you a cake or something..."

>It's fine. It's.. fuck, it's fine. Just stay put, okay?

"Okay... I-I-I'm almost out of charge, you'll be here in an hour, right?"

>Right.

"...Thanks."

>It's fine. Goodbye.

"G-g-goodbye, Chitty... I love you."

And, of course, her horn cut off right there.

>...Always the fucking newbies.

Green fire engulfed her, and soon 'a mean dragon' was descending upon the castle to 'steal a fair maiden' and just so happened to kill the Duke in the meantime. That morning, they went their separate ways, and never spoke of it again.

She never even got that cake.

Which was fine, Saturnia was a terrible, terrible cook.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chitania
"Saturnia"
~~~~

>...

"...Are you mad?"

>...

"...You look mad."

>...It's fine.

"...He wanted to do the weird stuff."

>It's fine.

"So I said no but he kept trying but I was running out of magic and then things kind of happened and..."

>It's fine.

"...Are ya' mad?"

>...

"...You look mad."

>It's fine.

"...I'm totally going to bake that cake."

>...It's fine.

~~~~
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chitania
"Geeridia"
~~~~

>Alright, I'm here, where are you?

"Okay, do you see the mountain?"

>I see the mountain.

"It's the big one with the weird white top."

>They all have white tops, Geeridia. The white is snow.

"No no, the REALLY white topped one."

>Will you, ugh, will you just keep going?

"Okay, you see the mountain. Now... do you see the crumbled rocks on the side."

>They all look like that, it's a fucking mountain.

"No no, this one looks freshly exploded."

>It ALL looks freshly exploded!

"Right, got into a fight with a Gryphon scouting party, they tried to kill us so we had to kill them."

>Oh for fucks sake, you were going around undisguised!?

"NO!... They just didn't like ponies, I guess? Anyway, yeah, look for the most freshly exploded area. Because that was the last place we exploded before the cave entrance collapsed."

>Why were you in a cave while fighting!?

"We, uh, we weren't. We were tired and wanted to take a nap and... a drone did it."

>I swear to my mothers chilled corpse, if I find out you did this I will crush you.

"...Well, you'll never find out... b-because I totally didn't do it! Yep! Just like I said! Drone did it!"

>...

"...Do you see it?"

>No, Geeridia, I don't see it, it's all mountain. I've been digging randomly for four hours now, I'm not seeing an entrance.

"Well, keep looking. This sand is getting in my hair."

>...Sand?

"Oh! Yeah, we're the one by the beach... didn't I mention that?"

>...

"...Chitania?"

>ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

"...Probably forgot to mention that."

>GGGGHHHHHHH!

~~~~
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~~~
Our story begins IN AN ALTERNATE WORLD! So estranged from our own that it seems alien and bizarre! But you would never know it from the mundane setting, the simple city of Manetropolis, bustling with flurry of life and business. Such normality surely would last, would it not?

NO!

For from the very streets themselves, a massive mechanical machination of malevolence exploded forth! Ripping the concrete below as it gave way to it's several story tall pony-like form!

“MWAHAHAAHA!” Screeched the purple maned mare within the machine! “At last, the world is mine! Mine, and SCIENCE! No more of this magic foolery shall pollute this world, and instead the cold hard facts of SCIENCE!”

“GASP!” Gasped a helpless earth pony, “but without the wonders of magic, however shall we know friendship!?”

“Friendship!?” She spat. “Friendship is for those too stupid to understand the greatness of SCIENCE! Watch!”

With a few presses of her lavender hooves against buttons, the whirring beast of metal tilted it's head towards the harbor not far away. To the horrors of those below, a strange power ignited on the false horn atop it's head!

“This is the power of Gravity, harnessed by the might... OF SCIENCE!”

With a flick of it's head, a massive oil tanker was plucked from the oceans as if gripped by an otherworldly force, and hurled upward into the sky!

“Now you see the fate of those who defy me! Bow to my whims, or face the unparalleled might, of SCIENCE!” She laughed, stomping down into the cracked roads to further scatter those below! “Now watch! Watch as those who mocked me... burn?”

Confusion swept through those below. Where was the kaboom? There was supposed to be a massive, earth shattering kaboom!

“LOOK!” A mare suddenly cried! “UP IN THE SKY!”

“It's a thunderstorm!”

“It's a fighter jet!”

“NO, IT'S....”

As one, they cried.

“SUPERLING!”

Dust was kicked up as the several story tall Changeling landed softly, a winning smile on her face and a very excited ship full of ponies above her head.

“Now citizens, I'm sure owning an airship sounds fun, but the insurance rates will drive you mad!” She said, effortlessly setting the massive ship down safely away from the city. With a wink, she leapt into the air, traveling over several miles in a single bound and landing opposite the giant machine!

“SUPERLING!?” The mare in the machine cried, her teeth gritting in anger. “HOW DID YOU ESCAPE MY TRAP!?”

Another light laugh escaped her lips. “Oh, that was supposed to be a trap? Well, now I feel bad! I called you a bad houseguest for leaving so suddenly! I misjudged you, Doctor Twience!”

Her face turned a fantastic shade of red as those around them began to laugh, all fear from their faces gone. “W-well, no matter! I have my Super science marechination! I'll crush you with the unbridled might of my genius!”

A sad sigh escaped the massive hero as the machine whirred to life. “Such a brilliant mind could better be served defending those smaller than you... but no matter! Your terror ends here, Doctor Twience!”

As one they charged, rocketing forward with supersonic speeds! Those below fled, sure that their collision would rock the very city to it's core!

They were wrong!

“WHAT!?” Dr Twience cried as Superling disappeared at the last possible moment, hooking down below her and rocketing them both up into the sky!

“Did you really think I was going to fight you in the city? Don't be absurd! My favorite coffee shop is down there, and that poor waitress has enough trouble carrying drinks as it is!”

“Y-YOOOU! Taste the power of my brilliant Marechination!”

A scream of shock and pain escaped Superlings lips as bolt upon bolt of electricity arced through her, but she did not let go! Instead, the massive superhero grabbed hold, and sent herself back to earth!

An eruption of dirt and soil sprayed everywhere as the pair landed in the convenient construction site in the city, but they weren't done yet!

“So, you think you can use gravity against ME!? You know nothing, you poor fool! NOTHING! Fall, Superling!”

She felt her chitin strain against a strange power as the Marechinations horn ignited once again! It pressed her down, enough force to bend even the strongest metal like it was soft, sugary dough!

“FALL! AHAHAHAHAH!”

She groaned as her legs began to give way! Too much force rained down upon her, enough to turn even the sturdiest of stones to dust, and to make a crater deeper than she was tall!

“The smartest shall rule, and there's nothing you can do, nothing any of them can do! NONE SHALL WIN AGAINT THE MAJESTY OF SCIENCE!”

Her knees almost buckled.

“Get up.”

Almost.

A face so young. One of many who surrounded the battling pair. As far as she could see, there were faces. Ponies, Changelings, Griffons, Buffalo, even Dragons! They were all watching in worry, hugging close.

“Get up... get up! GET UP! GET UP!”

The chanting was loud, almost deafening.

“SUPERLING! SUPERLING! SUPERLING!”

Amidst their chanting her eyes opened, and she knew what must be done.

“Y-you... you think you know majesty?”

Gobstruck, Dr Twience could only stare as she started to get up.

“You know nothing of majesty, of beauty. I see it every day, I feel it every time I walk down the street, I live it every day I'm alive. You know of your metal and your wires and your things, but you don't see the bigger things, Doctor Twience! You only see the machines, and nothing else! You can't see the farmer who can feed his family with a greater crop thanks to that machine, you can't see the pony who can walk again thanks to that machine, you can't see the lost who can be found with a light shining to alert those who would come to help, all thanks to those who dedicated their lives to making it BETTER for everyone, not just those who are 'smarter'!”

No matter how high she flicked her switches, no matter how much power she forced against her, the hero would not fall! “IMPOSSIBLE!”

“Impossible? You want to see impossible?”

Her very bones groaned as, with great effort, she began to walk. Slowly, one step at a time, she moved out of the crater, and towards the panicking mare.

“The impossible lives in the heart of every citizen around me! They have love in their hearts for their friends, their neighbors, and even for me! Look around us, Doctor Twience! There is friendship, there is love! And that love gives me strength! AND I-”

Black chiten met metal as the Marechination lashed out, it's own metallic hoof blocked by her far studier one.

“-MEAN THAT-”

Doctor Twicnce cried out as the metal twisted clean off, all of her hard work torn to shreds before her eyes!

“-LITERALLY!”

With one mighty swing, she clove the Marechination's head clean off, leaving Doctor Twience in a broken, open cockpit, vulnerable beneath a shining smile and a steely gaze.

“...Because Changeling.”

The roar of the crowd shook the very city itself.

“C-curse you... CURSE YOOOOOOUUU!” She howled as she was torn from the remains of her once grand machine, and tossed in the back of a police car. “I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, SUPERLING!”

Another sad sign escaped her lips once again as they drove off, curses ringing out as they disappeared towards the prison she would be kept. “Doctor Twience, it hurts to see you like this. So much potential for good. A mind so like my own, but twisted to the forces of evil. We could have made amazing things together, but perhaps... perhaps in another life. Maybe somewhere... we are friends.”

“Superling?”

The one with the face so young, the one who had started the chant to give her drive, now stood before her.

“Thank you.”

The pat upon the child's head was almost as light as the laugh that rang out through the city.

“Me? No, you were the real hero here! That goes for all of you! Never forget that within your hearts is true magic! A magic beyond what any machine can understand. Good day, citizens! And never forget!”

Up up and away she went, flying high into the skies amidst the cheers down below. It was only once she was above the clouds that she finally gave in, and checked her watch.

“...Oh no! I'm late!”

~~~~~~~~~

“CHITANIAAAAAA!”

The gruff pony with a cigar in his mouth 'harumphed' as she darted into the room, awkwardly adjusting the glasses upon her nose.

“Y-yes chief?”

“You're late again!”

“Oh, oh gosh, sorry chief! I got caught up in the battle downtown! Doctor Twience had some kind of machine, and Superling had to fight her!”

“Uh huh...” He said, eying her deadpan.

“Really!”

“You expect me to believe you made it from downtown to here in under five minutes?”

She couldn't keep the bright red blush off her cheeks. “Oh, uh...”

“If you're going to lie, at least make it believable! You're a journalist, act like it! Now get out there and get me a story!”

She sputtered and flailed, awkwardly rolling her legs as she turned around and headed out the door. “Yes chief! Right away chief!”

“GO!”

He sighed and slumped back in his chair as she vanished, off to do as he asked. “That mare, I swear.”

But little did he know that the sputtering mess had just picked up the sound of danger with her super-senses! “Some jobs just don't end when you punch out, I suppose!”

Her glasses came off, and the fire went up!

A Superling's job is never done!

~~~~~~~

“...WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THIS!? I save the world a BUNCH of times, and I'm still the badguy!? I'm calling my lawyer!”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>King
"Guard"
~~~~

>OH NO! A Wyvern is attacking! Man the catapults!

"A what? That's clearly a dragon."

>No, a dragon has arms, that one clearly has a wing-arm combination.

"But it's the same thing."

>It is NOT the same thing you simpleton!

"Well, Wyverns have snake like tails for their lower bodies, but that one has legs!"

>You fool, those are WYRMS!

"No! Wyrm's still have the forearms of a dragon!"

>That's stupid!

"YOU'RE STUPID!"

>...OH SHIT MY CASTLE IS ON FIRE!

"You deserve this."

>ALL IS LOST!

"You pleb."
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