Better Than a Toaster

MAR units were not very popular. Only a few hundred were ever produced back a long time ago, before pak hormone suppressors were as good as they are today. In an attempt to curb soldiers from fucking each other, they produced MARs. Unfortunately, they too closely resembled SIRs, which soldiers had grown to view like companions or pets, so fucking them seemed pretty wrong.

A failed experiment that was soon made obsolete through better pak technology.

How one ended up in the scrap pile Olec was digging through, he'll never know

Junkheap digging was one of Olecs 'hobbies' you could say. He rarely had free time away from the engine room, mostly because he didn't trust a single drone on his team. He had luckily, curried a bit of favor with the control brain through some personal commitments, and he was able to slink away for a few hours a day while she watched things. It was kind of nice having time to himself, but admittedly he had no idea what to do with it. So into the junk heap.

The garbage system on the Massive was expansive, like an enormous warehouse. There were plenty of things, treasures, you could dig up, but Olec's interest was a little more niche than the usual Irkens that snuck down there to scavenge. He liked old tech. Being a feverishly devoted cyborg and engineer alike, seeing how tech progressed and grew over the years fascinated him greatly. Picking and restoring old things he found in the garbage made him happy, if being legitimately happy was a thing he could reasonably say he was still able to do.
Most of the things he had found were old pieces of tech that had been unused, sitting in storage waiting for either an attack on board, or some other drastic situation. Old communicators, pak attachments, and even a few 100+ year old plasma pistols. They cleaned up nicely and made handsome display pieces. They were the expected scraps of a military vessel, as one dusty closet was cleaned out, making room for a new set of tech that would rot there untouched for another 50 years before the cycle started again.

Olec had been off his picking game for a little while. The Tallest, when they discovered they could physically ram planets 3 months prior, had him tied up dislodging organic material from the engines to keep them running. Luckily, they got bored of that and went on to whatever else was amusing to them, probably schmooing each other. Whatever. The Engineer hadn't been having any luck. He had been digging for about an hour, prying twisted plates of metal and rats of wire, hoping for a honey hole underneath, but nothing. There was one more promising looking pile in the corner. He had mentally been saving it for last. Maybe his luck would change.

It didn't take long until he spied something interesting. Some metal deep in the pile, its color was very different from that of the grays and pinks around it. It was light lavender. He immediately reached for it. That dated it well past even Miyuki's reign, when everything was aqua. whatever it was, it was old. Running his organic hand over the object confirmed it. After picking scrap for so long, he had grown a feel for old things. It just FELT antique. It was hard to grab, as the surface was rounded slightly. His head buzzed over what it could be. Some kind of pak armor? He reached in with his cyborg arm and pulled, gently but firmly. When it finally gave way, he fell back onto his butt, his metal hip giving a loud KLUNK against the floor. It was... A SIR of some kind?

It was certainly SIR shaped. Old model for sure, but the more he looked it over, the more confused he became. Eyelashes. It had welded on metal eyelashes. SIR modding of course wasn't unheard of, and many a bored soldier, especially Invaders, cut off from other Irkens with only their SIRs by their sides, would grow attached and customize them to their liking. But this weld job. He zoomed in with his electric eye. It was original construction, matching with the rest of the robot. The antenna on the top was even curled and bent like a female Irken's antennae. Why was the Empire producing such a feminine robot for war? He looked over the whole thing. It was surprisingly intact, but pretty battered. Deep scratches and a few dents cover 'her'. He flipped the robot around and opened the back plate on it. Maybe there was some kind of serial number or production code. Maybe even a date. On the inside of the little heart shaped access hatch was the info he was after:

M.A.R. UNIT PROTOTYPE 134
MILITARY/ARMY RELIEF UNIT
NOT FOR PUBLIC DISTRIBUTION

The date was underneath, and made Olec double take. This thing was 300 years old.
The name sounded familiar. MAR... MAR.... Where had he heard that before?? He mulled over the name as he delicately closed the hatch and continued looking over his treasure. He froze when he noticed something. A rather large hatch, right between the legs of the little robot, split right down the middle. No way, there was no way it was one of these. Gingerly, hands strangely shaking and a blush strangely creeping onto his cheek, he took his thumbs and placed them on each of the little doors. He eased them apart, his pulse racing. As soon as they were parted, something soft and lavender became visible. He opened her all the way, clicking the doors into an open position. It triggered that softness to fully pop out, flush with her metallic body. Oh my god, it was a military fuck bot. He thought these things were just a myth! Just a 'haha did u know' kind of thing engineers would elbow each other in the labs and laugh about, but here it was, in his trembling hands.

UNFORTUNATELY, as expected with something so old, the soft material of her... sleeve, was mostly rotted away, not to mention he didn't want to know what remnants remained of her previous user. He plucked the chubby lipped opening of the sleeve with his robotic hand and pulled the whole thing out in one fell swoop, tossing the nasty thing as far as he could. A thought couldn't help but cross his mind, one that said, "Perfect, I love a bare metallic hole more anyways~" He gulped. Oh no... He was really starting to think about it now... He looked over both shoulders... He was alone... He looked down at the robot, her grayed eyes looking back at him emotionlessly...

He was starting to sweat, and the less logic driven parts of his mind were starting to fill him up with ideas. Okay, if he was going to do this, he was going to have to make sure nothing was living in the thing, or it wasn't filled with toxic waste or something. It was in the trash after all. He peered into her open hole, his nightvision in his robotic eye coming in handy. She seemed pretty damn clean in there actually, a realization that made him swallow hard again. The sleeve had kept dust and debris out of her. Without it though, he didn't know how... waterproof she was. He set her down and fumbled through his coat pockets. He had one somewhere, not that he ever thought he would need to use it, especially for something like this, especially after going cyborg for his schmoo. But he found it, a semi battered condom. Probably not fit to use with an organic, but enough to keep his cum from frying a robot he just found in a dump.

Fingers shaking, he opened the wrapper. It had been in his pocket so long the printing was almost worn off, but the sheath inside was in surprisingly good condition. He was giddy almost at the prospect of this endeavor. How fun to get to use one of these, and on a holy grail prototype robot. He hadn't been this excited in a long time. Fucking toasters was fun and all, but this was special. He hastily pulled down his pants and rolled the condom on to his already extended metallic member. He had to fight a little against his squirming, but got the whole thing unrolled to his hilt. He let out a heavy breath, grabbing the robots thick little legs and pulling her onto his lap. Her opening looked like it would be a tight fit for him. The good news was, he loved a tight fit.

He wrapped his hands around her body and cradled her head on his legs as he eased his schmoo into her. Despite being a hole missing its main component, the fit was still pleasingly tight around him. It was as if removing the sleeve reset the internal mechanisms to their null state. It probably gave it custom fit options, or custom rubbing and stimulation options. The raw components were bundles of wires, belts, and other protrusions of plastic, meant to press into the silicone, but fuck if they needed that. He grunted hard as he reached her limit, nearly hilted in her. It was MUCH better than a toaster.

He adjusted himself a little, then started to slide her up and down on him. He couldn't help but thrust too, meeting the movements half way. Her grayed eyes were a little awkward to look into, so instead he leaned his head back and screwed his eyes shut, letting the pleasure wash over him. It was going to take a lot of time to get her up and running, and he would, no doubt about it, but fuck it was too tempting for him to hold back from using her then and there. His thrusts were gaining momentum, getting rougher and faster as he got into a nice groove. Grunts escaped from between his teeth. She felt like nothing else, no other piece of tech he had ever penetrated before, and that was saying something.

He was getting close already. He wanted to hold back and savor her a long as possible, but it was getting to be too much for him. Olec was so caught up in the racket of his groans and metal hitting condomed metal, that he didn't feel the particularly deep internal switch the tip of his organ engaged within her; the reset button. He was even too caught up to hear the faint start up noise from an reign long passed, or the glowing purple eyes adjusting and staring up at him.

"OH F-FUCK!" he grunted loudly, pushing in deep as the orgasm rattled him all over. The condom did its duty well, and was truly the hero of this story, catching his load and protecting the delicate electronics of the robot, which were now whirring warmly around him. He panted hard, letting out one deep exhale before looking down, mostly to grab the edge of his coat and dab the sweat off his forehead. His eyes grew wide and he froze, meeting her gaze.

The sound of a camera shutter sounded, followed by a soft flirty voice, "New user registered: OH FUCK"