1. DId you know Denmark was in a war in 1864? They were armed with Pastriies!
2. Danish Shinobis threw sharp pastries at their enemies as pictured here: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/451873880739414037/668337837627801610/DSC3343-e1458916544317.png
3. The danish sunk their ships carrying their secret pastry ingredients: Strawberry jam into the ocean.
4. To avoid friendly fire the Danish wrote "Danish pastry war" and "1864" on the side of their ships.
5. In the war of 1864, the danish people invented what we now know as "trench warfare", making Denmark directly responsible World War 1
6. Due to all pastries being filled with strawberry jam they couldn't tell if they hit the enemies or covering them in jam
7. The Dane field kits were fitted both with pastries for eating and pastries for weapons. If they didn't eat the pastries quick enough they went stale and became surplus weapons
8. The danes actually lacked any real firepower and therefore had to manually throw all pastries.
9. In the aftermath of the war diabetes was discovered due to too sugar intake. Strawberry jam was outlawed as part of the peace treaty.
10. After Denmark lost half of their land to Prussia, the danes offered fresh pastries to buy back their land. The prussians agrred to give them half back
11. The Danes took to the air shaping the pastries like birds so they more aerodynamic
12. In response to the valiant war effort of the danes, a brave hero tweeted Hot Pocket to ask them to assist in the war effort
13. The Danes dropped their magnum danishes for the monster army
14. Eventually, several danish pastries were air dropped for the danish army. So anyway, they started eatin'
15. The Pastry War led to a surplus of pastries, so it they decreed the pastries replaced kroner
16. The conversation rate of pastry to USD is 2.53 dollars to each 0.5 a Wiener bread
17. Danish soliders baked pictures of their wives and loved ones into their pastries. This was called "Sweetheart pastries"
18. The danish pastries actually caused a lot of serious medical problems for the prussians, eventually leading to the collapse of prussian empire.
19. Joergen Hansen was the first dane to be awarded the purple pastry for his sacrifice, leading to his unit of bakers making it out of the trenches that day.
20. Brown Arrow pastries were used to mark points of interest, such as prussian Counter bakers but because they were made of flaky dough they shattered on impact.