Thread 13: Stories 16-30

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
“Celestia”
_________

“Oh God… oh God, what? What is it, what’s wrong?”

>Why d’ya think somethin’s wrong, Celly?

“Because for once YOU’RE the one on the windowsill about to jump out. I jump out at the slightest disturbance no matter how small, but you… for something to make you want to jump, I’m not sure I’m ready to face that reality….”

>Need to take a seat before Ah explain why?

“Can I? Thank you, just let me… okay. Okay, I’m ready. Go.”

>Take a gander at the newspaper on the table.

“This? What’s it got to do… with….”

The headline for the paper blared out “Massive pet rock shortage hits ponyville! Many saddened, hundreds suicidal!”

Even Celestia, with all her centuries of life, had never seen such a topic take up the front page and was left tilting her head this way and that to make sure she’d read right.

And then it clicked. And then she suddenly looked as though the heavens themselves had opened up to bestow upon her a cake of infinite delight.

“Y-you mean, this is because of-”

>Yup.

“Back when you-”

>Uh-huh.

“And I said not to-”

>Yes.

“But you didn’t want to listen-”

>Exactly.

All too abruptly, Applejack felt herself knocked to the side as Celestia tore past and right out the window, pulling some of the most eye-catching diving maneuvers yet.

“IT’S! NOT! MY! FAUUUULLLT!”

>…me an’ Maud’re gonna need to have a little talk in the near future....
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>77
"32"
'Pommel'
~~~~

Later that night at an all night karaoke bar, a drunken 32 and 77 took the stage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rp5VsqVOu5s#t=121

"Once I called you 'brother',
Once I thought the chance
to make you laugh
was all I ever wanted!"

'She sends the thunder from the sky,
She sends the fire raining down!'

>And even now I wish the Queen
>Had chose another
>Serving as your foe on her behalf
>This is the last thing that I wanted!

'She sends a hail of burning ice
On ev'ry field, on ev'ry town!'

>This is my home!

"All this pain and devastation!
How it tortures me inside!
All the innocent who suffer from her
stubbornness and pride!"

'We are the locusts on a wind
Such as the world has never seen
In ev'ry house, in ev'ry town
Until there's ev'ry heart is cleaned
We are the scourge in flames of green
Thus saith the Queen!'

>You who I called brother!
"Why must you accept her lash and blows?"

'We are the scourge in flames of green'

"LET OUR PEOPLE GO!"

>'Thus spoke the queen!'

>You who I called 'brother'
>How could you have come to hate us so?
"Is this what we wanted?!"

'We are the swarm, We are the horde.'

"Ten let my heart be hardened
And never mind how high the cost may grow!
This will still be so:
CHRYSALIS WILL LET
OUR
PEOPLE
GO!"

'Thus saith the Queen!'

>Thus saith the Queen!

"She will..."

>"'Let'"
>"'Our/Your'"
>"'People/Anger'"
>"'GOOO!!!'"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Cadence
"18"
'42'
~~~~~

>Mmmmnnn, nope, still not getting my hair right.

"DAMN IT! How does Chrysalis manage this?"

'She doesn't, she had to mind control Shining Armor, surround herself with ponies Cadence had never met, and she still alerted the pony Cadence hadn't seen in years. As far as infiltration goes, well, there was clearly a reason none of Cadence's bridesmaids were ponies she knew.'

>All Changelings, actually.

"...What, really?"

'Were you not there?'

"Nope, I was outside the bubble. If you were to pause some sort of celestial television juuust right, you can see me there."

>Weren't you her top infiltrator or something?

"HAH! There was no "top" anything with her. She can't keep track of what week it is most days, let alone who any of us are. You all do realize she just recently remembered my number, right? I was Applejack "Don't give a fuck" for, like, ever.

>Huh.

'So, wait, where were your friends, then? Didn't they get angry they weren't invited?'

>...friends, is kind of a strong word.

"Ahhhh..."

'What?'

"How much did they ask for when you got your kingdom of sparkles?"

>One of them was "make me a duchess or we're not friends" another was "I want to be a princess too or we're not friends" and then it was varying levels of "Give us stuff or we're not friends." One of them, I'm totally serious, wanted a wing of my castle to herself.

"Pffft, saw it coming."

'I'm sorry not everyone is what they appear to be. If it's any consolation, I just want to be crowned God Queen of the Universe... or we're not friends.'

>...
"..."

>"PFFTHAHAHAHAHH!"

'Hey, I actually landed a joke! HAH! And Chrysalis said my standup couldn't make Pinkie Pie laugh.'

>Thanks, 42, I needed that.

"Heh, yeah. C'mon, let's go do some shopping, eh? You probably need a new something or other anyway."

>Aww, thanks you guys.

'Yes, if there's anyone you can trust to simply be themelves and not hide their true nature, it's us... changelings...'

>...
"..."
'...'

>"'Huh."'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"DT"
'Twi'
[77]
{42}
(PJ)
-AB-
~SB~
+SL+
*2*
~~~
>Breath in... and out and pull the trigger

BANG!

>Nice shot, AB

-It weren' nothin', gimme a hard target!-

+Yeah, and can we get some heavier guns like what flatflank's got?+

"Oh, go to hell! You can have my gun over my cold, dead body"

-Arrangeable.-

'Now, girls, no need to fight. Scootaloo, I think I can hook you up with something.'

*You mean we can FIRE ROAST marchmalleys?!*

(Mhmm! Iph gooph, phee?!)

*... Can I seen the world until now?*

77 meanwhile defends against Sweetie's rapier with his bone knife

[Haha, miss Sweetie Belle, you are a natural at this!]

~Rarity says a lady should never start a fight but no how to finish them!~

{Alright, brats! 'Gather round, time for a lesson in unarmed combat with auntie 42!}

-~+Yay!+~-

*Hmph!*

{I'll show you all that you CAN win fights with hugs!}

2 pumps her arm and joins in
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Chrysalis"
[ Spike ]
~~~

>Just outta curiosity, are ya' tryin' ta drive me up a wall?

"Yes."

>...

"..."

>M'kay, just wanted ta' double check. But onta' the specific bonfire ragin' in mah' garden...

"Hey, don't look at me, I just sent them here."

>Sent what?

"Meh, Shiny said I was clogging up his mail system worse than usual with my HP mail, so I offered to consolidate all his HP mail with mine and get rid of them my own way. Never even questioned me, we have such a trusting relationship."

>What mail?

"HP mail. Hey, don't you give me that look, pretty sure at least a third of that or more is yours."

>Ah' don't have any whatchamacallit mail!

"Bull. Fine, I lied, looking at it you just have a BIT less mail than Shiny's, and way less mail than Cadence's, and nowhere near mine or Celestia's, but you're pretty high up there! More than Rarity, even. WAY more than Fluttershy, and abooout even with Twilight. None of us have SHIT on Luna, though. DAMN!"

>Ya' plannin' on clearin' any o' that up? Ah' have no idea what yer' talkin' about.

"...Lizardo, what have you hid from her?"

[SHE NEVER NEEDS TO KNOW!]

"That explains a lot."

>No, it really don't.

"Fine. HP? Stands for... Harem Proposals."

>...All these guys want me ta' be in their harem? That's disgustin'! And degradin'!

"No no no, they're all asking if they can be in YOUR Harem. As in, join the legion of stallions, or mares I don't judge, that service you."

>...

"I noticed you've gone silent on the disgusting/degrading front."

>...S'little flatterin'.

"Want him to save a few?"

>Lord no, burn them all ta' the ground.

[ON IT!]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"SA"
'Twilight'
~~~~

>BITCH, FUCK OFF!

'OW!'

There were very, very few things that would ever bring Shining Armor to act violently. It was just in his nature to be more about defending and protecting than outright violence, and it was considered one of his finest and most noble traits.

That said, his magic was flared up and preparing to stab the ever loving fuck out of whoever it was that just made his little sister scream.

Finding Chrysalis locking horns with her did not dissuade the idea. Everloving fuck-stabbing was very much on the table still.

"What the hell is going on?"

>Tell this BI-

"Say it again."

>...Tell TWILIGHT to fuck off!

'Shiny, will you please tell her to just come with me so we can get this over with?'

>I'm not going anywhere with you! Much less to get 'examined'!

"Examined?"

'Look, it's been months since her little 'episode' with the heart, I just need to make sure she's not going to suddenly start cracking and collapse in a gigantic pile of ego and misplaced pride. That burnout was serious, Chrysalis, we don't know what it did to you.'

"Chrysalis?"

>She just wants to scan me with that damn machine so she can get more info on my biology and capabilities so she can find a weakness to exploit.

'I DO NOT! I just want to make sure you're not going to die!'

>I'm fine, thank you EVER so much for your 'concern', but I'll take my chances with spontaneous death.

'Shiny?'

"...Thanks for trying to help, Twilight, but she made her choice."

'I'M NOT GOING TO-'

"Twi? I'm the last pony you need to convince. I'd trust your word over hers any day of the week and every day besides-"

>Pft.

"-but she doesn't. Sorry, it's just how she is. If she says she's fine, well, I guess that's a risk she'll have to take."

'...'

"Now, don't look at me like that. I appreciate you looking out for her, really, but... yeah. It's still Chrysalis we're talking about here."

>Damn straight.

"Hey, since you're here, you want to go see Two? She's got a science project she wants to show you. Spoiler alert, it involves Marchmalleys and fire."

'...Yeah. That sounds nice.'

"Thought it might. I'll catch up in a second."

She shared a look with him, but did not argue as she left off to go indulge her niece in what was sure to be an enlightening experience.

>Phew, thanks. Swear, she'd start dissecting me if I fell into a particularly deep sleep.

"Chrysalis?"

>Hm?

"You know how I have little things you can't do? Little... things that are just a bit off limits, and even you don't push me on them?"

>Most are ignored, but go on.

"Well, don't ignore this new one. You ready for this? Listen close, don't feel like repeating myself."

He was suddenly face to face with her, allowing her to see a bit more anger than she was expecting in those eyes.

"Calling my little sister a bitch is off limits. Okay? Okay. You want to call her those little nicknames, fine. But insulting her like that? Too far, and we're going to have a problem. A problem solved only with either harsh words or a fight. Okay?"

>... Do you really think you could take me in a fight?

"Do you want to find out?"

The air was silent as they stared each other down, narrowed gaze against narrowed gaze. Power sparking in the air almost undetected. Who would break first was up in the air.

Until, of course, Chrysalis responded the only way she really knew how. A cocky smile and a hoof rubbing against his cheek.

>Oh, how adorable! But yeah, I get it. I was just mad at her for trying to force the issue, didn't mean to get so harsh with the nasty language. You know I just have the worst temper. But have no fear, you won't hear another slur against her from little old me.

"Good."

Slowly, the tension in the room ebbed away.

>Well, why don't you head off an go spend some time with little Twili, huh? Perfect time for some sisterly bonding!

"Indeed. There's some rocky road in the fridge still left over, if you want it."

>Hah! You know just what I like.

He turned to leave, missing the smirk on her face that remained even after he exited down the hall.

>Hm. Most guys would at least expect a bigger thank you from Queen for defending them.

Slowly, almost imperceptibly, her smirk melted into a warm smile.

>Guess you're just special.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Canary gem
"Crags McChisel"
-----
Peeking inside the bathroom at the vanhoover station, Canary gem gave a soft sigh of relief at seeing it was unoccupied.

Entering a stall and locking the door, she allowed herself another sigh, removed her hardhat and rested her forehead against the cold surface in front of her.

She stared listlessly at the usual scrawlings detailing the thoughts and feelings of many of this stalls past occupants as she pulled out a small hairbrush out of her overalls while muttering under her breath;

>It'll be fine, it'll be fine, it'll be fine.

Continuing this mantra, she slowly dragged the the brush through her mane once, twice, ultimately ten times with a series of practiced movements.

Without removing her head from the door, she brought the brush into view.

The previously white brush was now a bright coral red, entangled with large parts of her mane.

For what felt like hours she stared blankly at the hair care product she bought only that day, before causally throwing it to the back of the stall and concentrating on her correcting her appearance.

>Why do i even bother, it's always the same.

For months now, her mane had been falling out whenever she so much as ran a hoof through it, and she had no idea why.

It had gotten so bad that she was forced to find a hidden spot or otherwise private place every few hours just to keep herself presentable.

She should have told the others about this or at the very least gone to a doctor about it weeks ago, but the mere thought of telling anybody about it almost froze her with terror.

>No one can know, no one needs to know, it'll be fine, everything's fine.

She exited the stall and made her way over to the row of mirrors to check she had everything in order.

Proper feel, spines covered, correct shade, good. She looked completely normal. That was important.

She wondered briefly where that last thought had come from before the voice of her boss drifted through the bathroom door.

"Hey Gem! You done yet? The trains going to be here any second!"

>Coming Boss!

Taking one last glance at herself in the mirror, she put her helmet back on and calmly trotted outside.

"There you are, thought we were going to leave you behind again."

>I only missed the train that one time, you dont have to keep bringing it up.

"I'll stop bringing it up when you stop going to the bathroom everytime we stop somewhere, you having trouble with the pipes or something?"

>You are a paragon of subtlety. And no, my 'pipes' are fine, i just prefer to take the time to look after my appearance. Unlike some ponies i can name.

"Tch, mares and their manes."

>Tch, colts being dolts.

"Ha ha, funny girl, now hurry up and help the others get everything loaded."

>Where's this next job anyway? I remember you saying it was something weird.

"Well for one thing, it's direct from that new princess, the orange one, Applejike or somethin...anyway, we're suppose to be helping build a labyrinth that was accidentally demolished."

>How can you accidentally demolish a labyrinth, and why have we been hired to do that, we're miners not builders.

"I heard somebody wanted a whole lot of exotic pet rocks and just tore the place up for raw material. As for why we're doing it, the owner of the thing prefers it 'natural', which just means less building and more digging.

>Pet rocks? Nevermind, dont tell me. Where are we supposed to be 'digging' this labyrinth?

"Heck if i know, i was told we're meeting some fella by the name of Mr Will down in Ponyville who'll be sorting out the details."

>Except payment, right? We are getting paid for this, right?

"Yes, i sorted that out first, this "Will" character apparently has a blank check from the princess to do whatever he wants, so we'll probably be there for a while."

>Good, because after that Neigerien prinC-

"HEY I SHOULD PROBABLY GO FIND US SEATS ON THE TRAIN, SEE YOU INSIDE."

Chuckling softly to herself, Canary gem continued helping the group get their things onto the train.

At the back of the recently vacated stall, a brief flash of green surrounded a small brush, leaving it spotless aside from small flakes of a coral red staining the bristles.

The same flakes that drifted slowly in the florescent light illuminating the public bathroom.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Shining Armor
"Spike"
~~~
The Gun Club room door opens

"So, time to d-d-d-duel, Shiny?"

>Nah tonigh' Shpike! We gotta have a talk... Man to little dragon man!

"Holy shit... Shining, try not to breath on me after drinking this much, I might ignite your stomach contents- Omph!"

>Shee, you an' me, we gosht ta spend more time together. 'Cause we're the men 'round here, and it ain' eashy... But ya know whad Ah hate? you make it... You make it look shoo easy. From day one, you could shtand a cshanse 'gainst 42. Makesh me look like a lil' bitsh... But Ah lookit how sad you look.. Ya know why Ah let Two hang 'round you? You shmile when you hang 'round her... Ya don' do that mush ash you ushed ta, an' it makesh me sad...

"Shining..."

>Ah... Ah got so mush goin' on in my life... Ah don' handle it ash well as Ah let people think... But bein' me, you gotsh certain responsibilitish. An' thatsh never lettin' 'em shee ya bleed!

"I guess I haven't though much about how hard you have it."

>Pfft! Me? You come 'long an' have been makin' me feel like a wussh sinch day one- no, before that, day zhero! Ya know Ah look up to you in that reshpect? No matter how musch work laid in front o' ya, you did it, always.

"... Thanks, Shining Armor, it means a lot to me. I... I actually look up to you too."

>Thash shweet o' ya! Ah love you-

Flop!

>Zzzzzz.... Zzzzzz....

"I have an ill omen about-"

>BLAAAAAAARGH!

"AHHHH! HE SLIMED ME!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>42
"Spike"
~~~

>Where is that goddamn stallion...

"Well, someone looks like she's on the prowl. 42, as your friend, I have to warn you, I'm pretty sure you would kill anyone you tried to sex up."

>You don't know the half of it.

"What was that?"

>I said what the hell are you doing in the Crystal Empire?

"Eeeesh, hostile. Just dropping off some forms.

>Whatever. Have you seen Shining Armor? I need to see him, now.

"Sorry, but he's clear over in Apploosa, attending a new ground breaking or something. Actually, that's kind of why I popped over. These forms have been giving me a migraine, and I thought to myself, you know what I could really go for right now?"

>...Spike, no.

"I feel like a good old fashioned training session."

>Spike no-

He had moved before she had even said a single word, and she reacted on pure instinct and muscle memory.

And then the entire world went black.

~~~

"...Okay, so. Couple questions."

>The infirmary. About an hour. Nothing serious. None of the guards will mention it and we can keep it under wraps. The ceiling and most of the floor should finish repairs before they get back.

"...Okay, so, one last question. What the fuck?"

>It was just a lucky hit.

"Oh, I was unaware the laws of physics, forward motion, and the durability of castle grade crystal all hinged on 'luck', thank you for clearing that up and not assuming I was so concussed that would make sense."

>...

"Seriously, what the fuck."

>It doesn't matter, I'll be back to normal whenever he comes home, and it'll be a fair fight again.

"You know, this might be the blood flow still vibrating my brain, but have you ever considered the fact you could punch through dragons? You can. I can attest to this."

>It's not the same.

"No, you're right. Normally, I'm tanking your hits and shrugging off all but the worst of them. Now, I'm questioning exactly which light I should start following, and which one I should probably stop staring at."

>The red one and the lamp, respectively.

"42, be serious."

>...This is not my power. This is the power I get through love, just like 2 or 56. This power can leave me, at any time. Tomorrow I can wake up and find myself without it, and have to rely only on my own skills yet again. I lived for so long without it, I certainly do not need it now.

"Ah. Wondered why you didn't get the 'invincibility bump'."

>You didn't know, maybe I just was not overly loved.

"PFFTAHAHAH-Ow, it hurts to laugh. Hurts so bad."

>Heh.

"So, wait, you take it out on Shining Armor? Really?"

>Please, do not underestimate him. His shield spell prowess is unbelievably skilled, and he has only steadily improved since my arrival. He can tank the best of my hits now, even fully charged. He's the only one who can handle me at my full power.

"HAH!-OW! HAHAH-OWWHY-HHAHAH-OWWWWWWW!"

>Shut up! I didn't mean it like that!

"Surrre you did-OW! WOUNDED! NO POKEY!"

>Hrmph. You should be healed up shortly, wait until I burn off this excess, and then you and I can spar again.

"Sounds like a-ow- like a plan."

>Get some rest, I will inform everyone you accidentally set off a bomb or something. I'll work into it, make you look heroic instead of the poor stupid bastard you are.

"Accurate."

She gave him a curt nod, and headed towards the door.

"Hey!"

>What?

"Just wanted to say... that thing you said? About possibly 'not being overly loved'...never even crossed my mind."

Her hoof froze on the doorknob, and she would not turn around.

She didn't say a word, just left.

Not a thing more to say.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>spike
"42"
'Rarity'
[AJ]
~~~
>Hey, 42-

42 slams Spike across the face and pushes him into the wall

>Ack! Darkside of Luna's ass-

"Shut up!"

42's actually crying

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up for once in your damn life and don't blab to every thing on this planet!"

>Wha-?

"Twilight knew about my aversion to having any more love than I need to survive. And everyone now fucking knows! Why the hell did you tell her?!"

>I didn't tell her, 42! I swear, you're one of my best friends!

"Yeah, well who did-"

Her eyes drop

And so do Spike's, his eyes narrow

>Charity...

Later

'Spike, Darling, how lovely it it-'

Spike throws Charity at her feet

'Oh, then this is about-'

>You blabbing the secrets of one of my nearest and dearest friends? You best your fat ass it is.

'Spikey, she brutalized you like a monster! you need to have ways to deal witbh such threats'

>Being unable to control your own strength sometimes doesn't make you a monster, Rarity! Take Charity and your whole big brother crap back and let me handle my own problems!

Spike storms out, leaving Rarity in tears when Applejack steps over and wraps a wing around her

[Ah'm... Ah'm so sorry that happened, Rares.]

'I only wanted him to be safe...'

[Ah know... But Spike an' Ah share a common problem: stubborn like a rock... Would ya like me to talk some sense into 'im?']

'no... Thank you, darling...'

Rarity picks up Charity and spins the cylinder, raising it to her head when applejack pulls it away and just hugs her

[Ah'm so sorry, Rares... It'll git better, he'll forgive ya, Ah know... He's got a big heart.]

~~~
"You know, you really need to stop brooding like that, kid, your life's great, what do you have to frown about?" 42 asked her new student as she approached him from behind.

"I betrayed your trust and acted like an asshole to a mare who's only trying to care about me and the issue why I got mad with her- I mean I understand why she did it, but that she did do it..."

42 put out a hoof to stop Spike mid-rant. "Then let me simplify the issue for you; I was the one in the wrong, Spike. The Love strengthening might not be my real power, but it's still power I can use, power that would have made a lot of our fights much much simpler, power that could have helped keep you and the others safe."

"What about your warrior's pride?"

"Absolute bullshit, kiddo. It's like 77 says 'the only unfair advantage is the one you don't have'. Look at it this way, Spike, back in our match, you came at me with everything you had, as though you genuinely wanted me to die. Why?"

"Because I respected you."

"Presto, bingo! We have a breakthrough, ladies and germs. Rarity is using every trick and advantage she can to keep Canterlot safe, so are you, the one who's not giving their all is me here."

Spike nods and hugs 42 who stiffly returns the gesture.

"Thanks, master."

"No problem, squirt."

later...

Rarity sits in Applejack's room, she glances out the window and sighs forlorn. Rainbow Dash wouldn't fulfill her request for the appropriate rain.

Then, a familiar sensation prickled her senses, one that immediately made her 'pick up' her end.

"Well hey there, Princess."

"Spike? But-"

"Now, now, I know you don't forgive me just yet, so what's say I offer you a bit of a service to make things up to you, if you're interested. Twilight's willing to watch Sweetie and friends, so that gives you and me a chance for a private meeting... How about dinner tonight?"

of course, Rarity's answer was: "YES!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ42
“Spike”
‘Spike thoughts’
_____

“Hey, 42, sorry to barge into your room like this but, man, I dunno, I just got this itch to go another round of spa-”

With all the force of slamming into a brick wall, Spike stopped mid-step. He’d opened the door so swiftly that 42 hadn’t noticed the intruder so that left Spike with an uninterrupted, very eye-twitching spectacle.

‘What the hell…?’

Gone was 42’s war-torn Helmet of Helmets and without that restriction she’d, for whatever reason, pulled her blonde mane into a ponytail. That part was fine, all well and good because who didn’t want to air their mane once in awhile? No, it was the song parading through the air and her accompanying vocals that caused Spike to lean in the doorway, arms crossed with a shit-eating grin slowly spreading through his lips.

>I’m a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world~! Life in plastic, it’s fantastic~!

“Heh, I’ll tell you what’s fantastic, the way you’re workin’ that back, 42.”

>ACK!

Spike couldn’t decide which was funnier, the way her face lit up like a Christmas tree with embarrassment or how she tripped into her floor-length mirror, nearly taking it to the ground as she struggled to get her fumbling legs to spin around to face him.

>Sp-Spi- what’re you- this isn’t w-what it looks like, I was just, uh, just…

“Looked like my mentor was shaking her rump to a devastatingly girly song with her hair all fixed up and shining.”

Twin pinpricks of tears glistened in 42’s eyes as she rubbed at them with a hoof, refusing to meet Spike’s discerning gaze.

‘Oh sweet Celestia, my heart… her cuteness levels are through the roof!’

>I… this is so stupid, I’m stupid… enjoying s-such things… I’m a w-warrior, n-not a princess, I should just stick to hitting things….

“Nah!”

>W-what?

“Eh, we all got our little quirks that no one knows about, 42. Myself included. Look, don’t worry, and don’t cry, okay? I’ll… I’m just gonna back out of here real slow like and we’ll pretend this never happened, alright?”

‘I have to get out of here, I can feel it building….’

The joy that lit up 42’s face made Spike wish he had a camera on handy, feeling it’d be at least a century before she showed another heart-melting smile like that again.

>Th-thanks, Spike…

“Noooo prob’. Just, you know, lock the door next time.”

>Right.

And as 42 watched the dragon leave with a friendly wave, one of her eyebrows couldn’t help but hitch itself curiously when she heard him “HNNNNNNNNG!” around the corner out of sight.

NON CANON
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
"Pommel"
'77'

It was well into the night as the unlikely trio of two estranged brothers and one timid guard sat at the bar of a busy drinking hall in Canterlot. The alcohol had flowed freely and often as the night had gone on, lifting boundaries, freeing tongues, and generally frightening away more common patrons.

>...and so then, THEN, I circle around the damned thing, spear raised, ready to bring it down and BOOM, boulder falls from the ceiling, crushes it flatter than this coaster!

'Ha! And the other hunter?'

>He just looked at me, dumbfounded and fell to his belly in prayer. Took me forever to convince them all I didn't have magical rock powers!

The three broke out into another round of laughter. 77 wiped a tear from his eye.

'Oh that...that is ridiculous, and you eventually got them speaking Equestrian?'

>Believe me, it took some doing, but thankfully I was right about them being a distant cousin of surface ponies, so I was able to find a few commonali...commi...similar words between Equestrian and their own language.

'Amazing, could you hold that thought, though? Things are beginning to blur...I believe I need a bit of fresh air.'

>Go right ahead, dear Brother.

77 exited on shaky legs, a placid expression on his face.

"Wow, never thought I'd see him look happy."

>His was not an easy life, nor was mine, how...how many drinks have I had?

"I lost count."

>Well then I've met my quota, allow me to continue where I left off before...now yes, for the first time in a long time I lived in relative safety, among this group of-quite honestly incompetent-fishermen. Slowly I began to learn their language, gain their trust, their friendship, it was not long before I joined them in their endeavors, however ineffectual they were.

"How long did you stay there?"

>I'd say a few days...it was when we started traveling back to their main settlement that I began to fall out of sorts...

"Huh?"

>I was not truly companions with the creatures my disguise had come to befriend, so most of my waking hours were spent ruminating on all that had happened and all that could have happened. Dark thoughts began to slip into my head, I remember the first one, when I was allowing myself to imagine how 77 and 88 were getting along, a voice in my mind just suddenly said 'What does it matter? They're both dead and you know it'. Ultimately that thought was half right, I suppose...I'm happy he was able to keep the knife, just looking at it reminds me of 88.

"She sounded pretty cool."

>My boy, you have no idea. But I digress, the thoughts became more frequent after that. Muttering at me in the darkness, mocking my every move. They listed all the myriad ways 77 and 88 could have died, they replayed poor 44's death again and again, then they only began to grow in scope.

32 grabs his glass and downs it, his tone darkening.

>The invasion was a failure because of us, that was the big one. We failed in our mission and because of that the Queen had tried a more direct assault. The ponies of course slaughtered us all and returned to business as usual. I was the last changeling and when they found me out, I'd be devoured and that would be that for the whole race.

32's hoof traces over the rim of his glass, frowning.

>I began to believe it all, I began to lose every shred of hope I had left as I marched with the Morlocks back to their home. There wasn't a point to me, there wasn't a purpose for me to continue surviving...

"What...what did you do?"

>I arrived in their settlement, and I saw their leader. I had a purpose then. I had a purpose and nothing to lose if i failed.

"And that purpose was?"

32's eyes narrowed at the memory, he slowly bared his fangs.

>Revenge.

"Huh, how-"

>Shh!

77 ambles back on unsteady hooves, whistling to himself.

'Brother, Private, excellent news, they have karaoke here!'

>Well well, 77, do you think we're sober enough to attempt it?

'You say that like it matters!'

The two changelings laugh, 77 begins leading the way to the aforementioned karaoke, 32 grabs Pommel and pulls him close.

>I will finish this at another time, soon, I promise. For now, join me in this karaoke and smile, for life, life is very much worth living!

Pommel blinks, but shrugs, falling in line behind the two changelings.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>77
"Spike"
~~~
"Whew, that wasn't so bad."

>Rest well you can, the rest of the trail will be worse.

"not like you to give me a break right before the going gets tough."

>You have me dead to rights, I did this for a bit of a personal reason, Spike. There's... Something I need to know.

"Sounds pretty serious. I'm willing to listen."

>... how did you feel when 42 killed you? What were you thinking?

spike seems to pale for a moment.

"you want to know the truth?"

>Please.

"Cowardice... I thought 'I don't want to die like this. Please, don't let me die here!'. I didn't get back up to salute 42 at first, I did it in one last desperate grasp to live, not even live, just, to stave off death a little longer. But then I remembered it was all a simulation, just training, and that 42 would never really try to kill me."

>...

"Pathetic, isn't it?"

>No, it's not pathetic at all, Spike.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Fuck it, I'm doing some vocaroo stuff. I'm not promising anything longterm or consistant, but... I'm working on a voice for 77 in my head, and I'm gonna post a few versions I've got.
Using >>16987775's monologue for the script.
"I was born for war, your highness, I was created to become a warrior and fight for my Queen and my Hive. I did it in the fields of battle, I did it in the caves, and even as I help defend Equestria, I do it in their names. I was made for war, it defines me, it IS me, and to simply give it up could very well destroy me."

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1MJhHrWe0Yu
(Raspy voice, inspired by Caleb from the 1997 shooter blood)

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1qsXAQouNzg
(Used something closer to my normal voice, tried for more of the 'young, shellshocked veteran', like a young man who's just returned from 'Nam, thus, the shaky breaths)

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ls9tCJ5pLG
(I think it sounds too much like the second one, but I was trying for more a of softer 'he's broken but has come to accept it' thing, almost like Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime)

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0GdlygRTbK0
(This one is a bit stronger, more of a tough warrior attempt that, in my opinion, doesn't quite fit 77, also makes me imagine him as built like Big Mac or Shiny)

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1qUOYOnduS4
(This one is mostly for fun, someone mentioned that 77's tendency to call DT 'poppet' made them imagine him as British... so I gave him a Scots accent. Enjoy!)

Also did the male lines for this:
>>16981558
http://vocaroo.com/i/s13XRXkYxKJe

I think I made him sound too much like a teenager (though I was trying for someone who sounded like they were in no way ready to become a father) and the audio at the beginning was cut, but I was proud of how I pulled off the "batmom impression".

It's not perfect, but ladies and gentlemen, I give you the first, fully voiced version of one of the stories, based on >>16991223

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1AbmUmnoD3F

I fear the guard and 77's voice are too much alike, admittedly, it works since i imagined the guard as somewhat young and inexperienced while 77 is supposed to be one soldier plus one nightmarish ordeal
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
“Cadance”
‘Shiny’
-AJ2-
{AJ42}
[77]
*DT*
(PotatoJack)
+Twilight+
_______

>I don’t… is this really necessary? The restraints?

Spike was, of course, referring to the unobtanium crafted metal bands strapped to his figure, one across the chest keeping his arms pinned, and one over his stomach. He curiously glanced about the kitchen filled with patrons, ignoring Cadance who was merrily humming as she moved from one counter to the next wearing a pink apron.

[Yes they are. Without them, you would run.]

>What? Bologna, I would not!

*It took both me and PJ to hold you down so Twilight could hogtie you! Hell, you even BIT me!*

>Lesson learned for you, then….

*YOU MOTHERFU-*

From out of nowhere, a bar of soap flew into DT’s mouth with such force she was sent rolling back.

Two started to giggle from her perch atop Shiny’s back, one hoof wrapped in his mane.

-Shiny, pfffft, why’d that happen?-

‘Because she was about to say a no-no word, Two, and Celly’s mother doesn’t want you hear such language.’

-Hahaha, okay!-

+Oh, Spike, I didn’t strap you in too tightly, did I? You can breathe alright?+

>Peachy, Twi’… just peachy.

(Mmmph mmmgh pahahaha fnngh!)

>Well, if I die, PJ, you can have my secret stash of diamonds.

[I’m afraid I don’t fully understand. Is Princess Cadance’s food… unsavory?]

A hearty round of laughter burst from everybody present, even Spike who, despite his situation, had to throw his head back to guffaw at his fullest.

“Oh, you all can bite my lovey-dovey rump, I’ve been practicing for just this moment!”

{In other words, did you remember to sign your last will and testament, Spike?}

>Darn, knew I forgot something….

‘Go on, honey. I… b-believe… in… y-y-y-youuuu…’

{Because that sounded so reassuring.}

*Blech… nasty soap… anyway, c’mon, Princess, I got school in a few hours!*

Cadance twirled around with her latest ‘edible’ masterpiece and set it on the table, revealing it to be… a huge bowl of ramen noodles.

As one, the group stared.

(…mmrph.)

+I… have to agree with PotatoJack here. Can’t help but feel this is a bit anti-climatic.+

“Hmph! Well, seeing as everything I pulled out of the oven happened to coincidentally pull something from the planes of Tartarus, I figured, hey, why not start small with the micro-”

She suddenly fell silent when the contents of the bowl began to slosh around by themselves. The juice, once a nice, light yellow, bubbled blacker than charcoal and the noodles shifted to a burning red, like throbbing veins that shot out and latched themselves onto Spike.

>AAAAAAAAAGH!

*HOLY SH-*

Another bar of soap sent DT rolling across the floor.

The restraints around Spike might as well have been crafted of rubber for the way they easily broke when he was snatched forward and towards the bowl, but he planted his hands and feet on the rim, refusing to be tugged into that black liquid.

>SOMEBODY HELP MEEEE!

‘Two, sweetie? Stay right here, okay? Shiny has to go handle business. Now then… UNHAND MY BROTHER, DEMON NOODLES!’

{WE’RE COMING, SPIKE!}

“Hmm… maybe I added a little too much frogs stomach…?”

While Shiny and 42 leapt into the throng of wriggling red noodles, PotatoJack strapped on her 3D gear, laughing through her potato, and 77 gave his bone knife a fond twirl, smirking.

[Well… this certainly got interesting.]

+Gun Club, ASSEMBLE! SAVE SPIKE!+

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________