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- 1
- alright /k/, gonna write my own story. elfette anon made me do it.
- will start out slow, but be patient. the kube will be pleased.
- also, first time writefagging and kinda busy, so updates might be slow.
- >be me, 19yo engineering student
- >been browsing /k/, /diy/, chemistry forums and yt for a long time
- >Austria, eastern end of the alps
- >late summer evening, 2019, get call from parents
- >turn on the news, anon!
- >which channel?
- >doesn't matter
- >oh fugg nukes? EUSSR army? RWDS?
- >turn on ORF1
- >breaking: portals to other world
- >itshappening.gif
- >portals materialize but are unstable and keep changing location
- >random patches of land swapped
- >rare phenomenon, seems to only have targeted "empty" regions
- >some large park in the middle of Vienna qualified as empty
- >a xeno settlement materialized in the middle of our capital city
- >inhabitants look and act like orcs
- >/k/onvergance may no longer be fantasy
- >let's hope shit doesn't hit the fan too hard
- 2
- >arlright, we're gonna need some protection
- >my parents live near vienna, don't want them to get "enriched"
- >luckily, I keep my (homebrew) weapons at their place.
- >electric pipe musket, crossbows, shitty spear, slingshots, etc
- >tell them how to load them without shooting themselves in the foot/arm and where i keep my powder
- >tell them about my stash of chemical weapons
- >box of chlorine ampoules buried in the garden
- >waste from a previous project, might as well keep some
- >condensed with a stack of Peltier modules, sealed in glass tubes
- >awkward silence
- >will visit during weekend (if trains keep running)
- >parents will pick me up otherwise
- >as I hang up, realize, that I don't have any weapons at my apartment
- >search apartment for anything useful
- >bunch of (decent) knives
- >glass bottles, foodstuff, a bit of potassium nitrate
- >only thing flammable is half a liter of acetone
- >not much else in terms of chemicals, no bleach
- >small stash of leftover firecrackers (only legal (and therefore shit tier) stuff, no flash powder)
- >desperate times call for desperate measures.jpg
- >dig through my storage room, get out a cardboard box buried in the backmost corner
- >making this stuff may not have been the single dumbest thing I have ever done after all.
- >ignore the keep out sign, as well as every single hazard symbol there is
- >I put shit like "radioactive" on there just to keep idiots out
- >after 3 layers of cardboard, hazard symbols and packing peanuts I finally get to a large metal can
- >open it, retrieve a glass jar veiled in bubble wrap
- >at the bottom, below a lot of water, there sits a large lump of a waxy, yellow solid
- 3
- >the lid of the jar reads "recreational white phosphorus 500g DO NOT TOUCH"
- >get out my beakers and some supplies
- >time for a night shift
- >carefully put the WP in a large beaker full of water
- >place on stove, in water bath
- >melt the phosphorus
- >thisissuchabadidea.jpg
- >using pipette, make small drops of WP
- >hands literally shaking
- >in a jar of cool water, quickly solidifies
- >make a bunch of beads, 3-5mm across
- >take apart most of the firecrackers
- >salvage the black powder
- >roll some paper tubes
- >plug one end A LOT of plaster
- >rig up shit tier pull-ring fuse using matches,
- >make shells from single layers of wax coated tissue paper
- >seal WP inside
- >load tubes with powder, WP canister, plug with cardboard disc
- >handheld pyrotechnic star mine with pull-ring ignition
- >basically disposable one-time 30mm shot cannon. low velocity, high spread
- >pray to the cube, to never have to use these (and to not have them blow up in my face)
- >cleanup, put dangerous stuff back into storage
- >get a beer, rig tripwire alarm to main door
- >block bedroom door with a chair
- >face picture of Paul Tibbets hanging above bed, 92 beaded dreamweaver below
- "O holy savior, bringer of cleansing fire! In my dreams and reality,
- keep me safe from any creatures of jap mythology.
- Guard my mind against the heretical,
- corrupting influence of degeneracy"
- >after this semi-ironic prayer, get some sleep.
- 4
- >[drums start playing]
- >HERE'S THE STORY OF RHODESIA, A LAND BOTH FAIR AND GREAT
- >fuck what time is it?
- >turn off 8am alarm
- >been trying to return to a normal sleeping schedule
- >university starts next week
- >make myself some tea and breakfast
- >see dirty glassware in the kitchen
- >recall last evening
- >fuck that was real?
- >get my phone, read the news
- >chaos. a few cities in Europe and Burgerland rushed by greenskins or other creatures
- >some dragons have made their way to England. carnage ensued.
- >it hasn't even been t+18h since /k/onvergence
- >Austria was mostly spared
- >now about that orc village in Vienna
- >didn't get much attention initially
- >police was busy with briefings
- >and containing the looting and rioting done by our fellow humans
- >apparently people thought the merge was a good excuse for violence
- >black block types and "new Austrians" made up most rioters in pics
- >while cops were distracted, orcs explored their new home
- >a few joggers were robbed, captured (potentially eaten), or got the Swedish snuggles
- >a jeweler near the park was looted by smaller greenskins
- >orc villages seem to also house some goblins
- >police finally managed, to push them back
- >way to humane
- >riot shields, water guns, bean bags, cs gas
- >orcs now contained in park
- >border now guarded by police and military
- >park is a no-go zone
- >send parents a message to see if they are ok
- >sip hot tea, humming rule Britannia and thinking about the future
- >the war crime tubes are a good last-ditch option but not exactly safe
- >time officially become hasguns
- 5
- >get on train to next major city
- >merge has cut off some routes, regional trains still mostly operational
- >Monday morning, train almost empty
- >from the train, I see some goblins in the woods
- >one may have run over
- >arrive after a few minutes, city looks normal
- >make my way towards the gun and hunting store
- >Austria has relatively lax gun laws by European standards
- >decide on getting the lever action I've been eyeballing
- >inb4 shooting prone
- >inb4 blunt bullets have shit aerodynamics
- >.357 magnum, wood stock
- >not quite a Garand but still a beauty
- >not cheap but a worthwhile investment
- >also buy 200 rounds of soft point ammo
- >.357 from a rifle should be enough to drop some green niggers, right?
- >doesn't need to be super practical. longest range enemies probably only have crossbows (crude, shit accuracy)
- >fill out paperwork, have to wait 3 days to pick up the rifle
- >return home, eating Schnitzelsemmel on the way
- >suddenly remember something I read on /k/
- >fuck off rapey birdwomen, you won't get me alive
- >call my uncle
- >he's kinda /k/ minded. mallninja tier tough.
- >works in the cleaning industry
- >can order from chemical suppliers, often gets me stuff for my projects
- >"good to hear that you are still alive"
- >"now given the new circumstances, I have a new project"
- >"and I could use your help"
- >"now i know you can't get concentrated nitric anymore but how about 98% sulfuric acid?"
- >"a lot of it"
- >"also would it raise suspicions if you got me 10kg of potassium nitrate?"
- >"no no just curious. can make it myself anyways, just a lot of effort"
- >"also could you have it ready by next weekend?"
- >will spend the next two days watching history documentaries, and lurking on /k/
- >lots of elf rape shitposting and "is x gun enough to kill y fantasynigger" threads
- >suspiciously, no confirmed sightings of dwarfs or knife ears
- >would have expected to see them, given the supernatural events and similarities to human fiction.
- 6
- >Tuesday morning
- >mainstream news
- >new development in Vienna
- >Monday night, leftists decided, that orc containment is racist
- >protests ensued
- >(((NGOs))) wanted to send doctors and care packages to the orc settlement
- >police didn't let anyone into the no-go park
- >for obvious reasons
- >various "antifaschistische" action groups and related organizations got busy in their Facebook groups
- >soyboy cucks and dreadlock lice farmers showed up at one of the main entrances to the park
- >seize your bigotry, evil fascist pigs
- >you are literally exactly the same as the gestapo (even though it was the Totenkopf SS) guarding Mauthausen
- >because keeping literal violent monsters away from the civilians is the same as administering hydrogen cyanide breath therapy
- >these faggots don't even know basic history
- >protests started out relatively peacefully
- >love trumps hate, #notallorcs, coexist, #greenlivesmatter signs
- >antifa does what antifa does best
- >some commies start throwing shit at police
- >polycarbonate phalanx.jpg
- >eventually they had enough, fuck it let's teach them a lesson
- >police opens up, letting NGOs and some of the protestors through
- >anyone is free to go in
- >unsurprisingly, the orcs had little interest in vaccines, pills or ending racism
- >they did however have an interest in shinies, humie loot, and breeding slaves (possibly also boipussy)
- >they ran away when the orcs attacked
- >some were killed/captured, some made it to the gate
- >some made it out. some didn't
- >they had to close the gates because the orcs were not far behind
- >the screams of those left behind could be heard throughout the night
- >great job proving the racists wrong, antifa
- >on a different note, sightings of otherworldly creatures and races have increased
- >since the portals tend to be in the middle of nowhere, it took them a while to get anywhere near civilization
- 7
- >alright sitting at home is boring
- >kinda curious what the WP tubes will do to orcs
- >don't even give a shit anymore if one blows up in my hand
- >let's go for a walk
- >grab the wooden broomstick I once sharpened using office scissors (school can be boring too you know)
- >ccing a bunch of knives and a couple war crime pipes
- >first go innatown (i live close to the edge)
- >get groceries (with spear slung over my back)
- >not the only one
- >other customers carrying hatchets/knives
- >one mallninja has a fucking pistol crossbow
- >restock basic foods, get some turkey steaks, eggs milk, bread
- >grab a few packs of erythritol sugar substitute
- >at least something these health-conscious millennials are good for
- >technically sugary alcohol, practically 0 calories because you don't digest it
- (measurement would be the same as normal sugar tough (a calorimeter for food is retarded))
- >don't plan on baking a cake with it tough
- >stop by city hall because why not
- >see statement pinned by local police/gov
- >basically says, they won't give a shit if people carry weapons unless they look like obvious nutjobs
- >understandable, have a nice day
- >drop off groceries, walk in the other direction
- >walk along the edge of town
- >75-100m of clearing between road and forest at the base of the hill
- >owo what's this
- >there's something at the tree line
- >kinda looks like a (normal) face
- 8
- >it doesn't move
- >decide to slowly approach
- >yep. looks human, white skin
- >at about 25m it realized, it's cover was blown and stepped forward, into the open
- >certainly looks of human stature
- >the green mantle with hood made him/her blend in surprisingly well
- >"I come in peace" it said in broken English, very strange accent
- >"and who or what exactly are you" I asked
- >it lifted it's hood, revealing long brown hair and pointy ears
- >fancy wooden bow across her back
- >"my name is Taeriel Aelfhildur. Elves, I believe is what you monkey call us"
- >"Oh I was wondering when the knife ears would show up. Care to explain why you came here?"
- >"my tribe sent me to explore. I am studying the other world. human civilization in particular."
- >"but there is only so much you can learn from the humans on our side and the artefacts leaking over."
- >"leaking over?"
- >"these patches of land being replaced- that was happening before. just extremely rare and in unpopulated areas"
- >"so rare, you probably thought of it as absurd or fictitious"
- >so that would explain corn circles and the Bermuda triangle
- >"it seems like we both have a lot of questions. why not exchange some knowledge?
- >"I tell you what we know about the konvergence. you explain the human world to me"
- >>"you explain the human world to me"
- >now I know to be careful. around elves, watch yourselves. trust not any xeno thot.
- >for all I know they could be scouting for an attack or copying technology for a war
- >or she (he?) could just lead me into an ambush
- >but teaching a proud knife ear how the moneys conquered the world
- >educating her about the ideas and ideals that allowed us to ascend from the dark ages
- >possibly converting her into a follower of the /k/ube or at least it's ideals
- >fuck it this was my dream
- 9
- >"alright, we have a deal"
- >"so you aren't going to rape or rob me?" she asked,
- >"what? no! why would you think that?"
- >even as socially retarded autist I noticed slight disappointment in her face
- >"the world I come from is a lot less... civilized" [elven blushing]
- >"we're better than that. for the most part" I replied
- >only now it clicks in my mind
- >remember the rumors about keebler superiority complex and inferior race rape fantasies
- >/k/ube help me if my worries come true
- >"still don't trust you tough, knife ear"
- >"nothing personal but the orcs and goblins left bad first impressions"
- >and so we went on together, talking about the merge and the other world
- >hiking up a small mountain
- >not too worried about keebler VC ambush
- >forests relatively thin, good visibility
- >and literally right next to town
- >back to the elf
- >she told me an old prophecy about the worlds connecting once some ancient evil was banished
- >once the portals stabilized (military doesn't know yet), she stepped through
- >followed railroad tracks until she had a close encounter with a freight train
- >decided to sit back and watch from the forest after that
- >until I found her
- >she told me a lot about the other side
- >they have humans. medieval society tough
- >they even speak english
- >got teleported over in the middle ages
- >later, some kids got shipwrecked on an island
- >destiny carried them over to narnia (or whatever the fuck we're going to call it)
- >elves adopted and raised them, eventually releasing them into human society
- >high elves also maintain libraries, dictionaries and study otherworldly artefacts
- >such as torn up plastic bottles
- >that way they were able to maintain a somewhat up-to date vocabulary
- >we make it to a bench near the peak, at the edge of the hill
- >steep drop, great view of the town
- >”alright, monkey, why don’t you tell me about your world now?”
- 10
- Just in case anyone is reading the actual story, I am sorry for retarded spelling in early posts. should be improved
- >on the way down, I try to explain democracy and capitalism to her
- >difficult for her to grasp, since wood elves live in hippie tribes
- >no politics, just dancing through the forest and doing hippie shit
- >occasionally screwing with lone wanderers
- >contact between the races is relatively rare
- >a keebler showing up at a human city is still a mythical creature to them
- >humans still live under monarchy over there
- >medieval towns, just more fortifications against the fantastical threats
- >slaving away to maintain the luxurious lifestyle of the aristocracy
- >whenever they’re not busy fighting off orc hordes
- >or at war with another kingdom
- >”is that all it took to get here?” the elf questioned
- >”your world looks so peaceful. I haven’t even seen any human weapons. Just your improvised spear”
- >fugg how should I respond?
- >don’t want to scare her away with trench warfare, shellshock, chlorine, nukes and MAD
- >”there’s a lot more that went into creating our modern world.”
- >”the scientific method and our ability to harness fire most importantly”
- >” and there’s a reason why we became relatively peaceful.”
- >”but that’s a story for another day” I replied
- 11
- >we make it back to town
- >ask her to cover up her ears
- >don’t want to attract unnecessary attention
- >given the first impressions the orcs left, we might get shot at
- >show her around the outskirts of town
- >”Taeriel, where are you going to stay?”
- >”i’ll set up camp in the woods. We elves are used to this sort of thing”
- >”the weather is going to get worse soon”
- >”be my guest. I have food and an extra bed”
- >she reluctantly accepts after I promise to show her a bunch of human technology
- >It has gotten late, sun behind a mountain
- >as we approach the door, the light turns on
- >the elf immediately dives for cover
- >”relax, it’s just a light”
- >”what kind of sorcery is this?
- >”didn’t I tell you, we didn’t even believe in magic”
- >really fucking hungry
- >cook the pre-seasoned turkey steaks with rice and frozen vegetables
- >make some extra for my guest
- >meanwhile the elf is playing with the water tap
- >clean, hot, on-demand running water is fascinating to her
- >even more so than by the flameless stove
- >Serving time
- >food is fine, didn’t fuck up too bad
- >the knife ear stares at the plate for a moment
- >took her a moment to figure out how a fork works
- >promptly complains about how freezing the veggies being bad
- >still ate it tough
- >reluctantly tries the turkey and rice
- >eyes widen
- >rapidly devours both and starts eyeballing my plate
- >the stories were true
- >turns out they don’t have seasoned meat or rice
- >but they want it
- >” processed food isn’t too bad afterall, is it?”
- >”more” she demanded
- >greedily consumes any remaining rice straight from the pot
- >after dinner she went outside to pray to the moon
- >”why would you pray to the moon? It’s just a rock”
- >”how can you filthy monkey say such heresy”
- >bitch please
- >”because we would expect it to be a barren rock”
- >”because we can look at it with a telescope”
- >”and because I touched it”
- >the elf stares at me with disbelief
- 12
- >”how can you touch the moon? How is that even possible?” she asked
- >”well in the sixties we flew up there. We brought back a few rocks”
- >”some are in museums for everyone to see”
- >”no I mean wouldn’t you fall off”
- >hol up.jpg
- >”wait a second. What shape do you believe our world to be?”
- >”What do you mean?”
- >our world as a whole. The earth. What shape is it?”
- >”never thought about that. Looks flat to me”
- >damn we have a lot of work ahead of us
- >idea.png
- >back inside I try to explain Newtonian gravity and the heliocentric world model to her
- >while grinding some potassium nitrate
- >”imagine you are on a very tall mountain. So high up, there isn’t any air”
- >”and you fire and arrow horizontally from the peak, much faster than any bow could”
- >”It drops and hits the ground. What’s so interesting about this?” the elf asked
- >”remember, our world is round”
- >”if you get one flying fast enough, with no air to slow it…”
- >”…The world curves faster than it drops”
- >”the arrow will fly a full circle around the world” I explained as I returned from the kitchen
- >proceed to weigh out the powdered sugar and add it to the mortar
- >”but how are you supposed to move up there? Even wings need air” she inquired
- >”let me show you”
- >rig up a shitty bottle rocket with the powder
- >we head out to the meadow where we first met
- >place it in an empty bottle, light the salvaged fuse
- >”watch this”
- >the thing blasts of and climbs to at least 500 meters, leaving a ticc trail of smoke
- >much louder than on jewtube
- >”no air required” I proudly commented
- >”Couldn’t you tie an arrow to that? I’m sure that would be a powerful weapon” the knife ear asked
- >”the Koreans used to do this 600 years ago. Not accurate but good for thinning out dense formations”
- >”our payloads have gotten a lot more advanced since then”
- >oh yeah right, I didn’t want to terrify her with industrialized human warfare
- 13
- >back at home, we end up watching a documentary on the Apollo program
- >after she got over how the tv is literally just like magic
- >human (American) heroism, spectacular footage
- >pretty much what you would expect
- >doesn’t touch too much on the cold war
- >anyways, she ends up resting her head on my shoulder
- >seriously has personal space not been invented yet
- >either that or she plans lewd things
- >fuck off Slaanesh, you are not welcome here
- >”anon, you smell nowhere near as bad as the monkeys I am used to” the elf complimented
- >”yeah soap and daily showers will do that for you”
- >fucking savages
- >after the film is over, I prepare her bed (couch)
- >she’s still awestruck by that picture of our blue marble
- >”Sleep well. if you need anything, just knock”
- >barricade my door anyway
- >around elves, watch yourselves
- >somehow I have this feeling, that I won’t get much sleep tonight
- 14
- >wake up to the sound of several trucks pulling up
- >It’s dawn. My room looks different
- >looks like it’s made of paper
- >there’s a calendar on the wall. page August
- >peek out the window
- >looks like a Japanese city
- >there are at least 16 guys in uniforms climbing out of trucks
- >looks like ww2 jap uniforms, some are fixing bayonets to their rifles
- >bump into something
- >why do I have tits?
- >oh, right. I meant to troll the /d/egenerates
- >fuck you subconsciousness, did you really think you could recycle my ideas into nightmares
- >grab the 1911 from beneath my pillow
- >rush to the cabinet, boot up the massive radio
- >”agent 46 to base. Can you hear me?”
- >”is she on her way?”
- >”confirming target location. Their laboratory is at the hospital”
- >”I repeat- aim for the hospital”
- >”what do you mean optics?”
- >”just say they were aiming for the bridge”
- >”don’t be late and don’t worry about me”
- >the japs breach my door
- >drop a couple with muh stoppin powah
- >surrender once I expended my 7+1
- >the officer steps forward
- >”normally we would just execute American spies” he said with an accent straight from 40’s looney toons
- >”but you will get to feel the superweapon you were looking for”
- >press x to doubt
- >they escort me to the trucks, Arisaka bayonets pointed at me
- >they take me to the hospital where I reported their secret laboratory
- >they lead me to the top floor (bayonets still pointed at me)
- >I am greeted by what looks like an anime villain version of a general
- >he has a fucking nambu-katana abomination on his hip
- >”there it is- the secret weapon you were looking for” he said in the same cartoonish accent
- UPDATE 4/23/19
- 15
- >”this will allow us to defend our home islands against any invasion” he proclaimed, pointing at a glass cell in the corner of the room
- >inside there is a big, blueish thing
- >looks like Lovecraftian horror
- >the top of the glass box is open, stairs and a plank leading to the edge
- >I’ve seen enough heresy to know where this is going
- >he orders me to climb the stairs
- >standing behind me, katana-pistol drawn
- >the soldiers stand across the room, rifles aimed at me
- >probably want me alive tough
- >on the plank I look at my watch
- >idiots didn’t even cuff my hands
- >it’s 8:14
- >the general orders me to walk the plank, sword-part pointed at my back
- >”do you know, why you will never win this war? I asked
- >”because we fundamentally different ideas what constitutes a superweapon”
- >in the same instant I jumped off the plank, land outside the box
- >dash across the room
- >some of the riflemen pop of a shot
- >clearly trying not to hit me or the glass box
- >I stand with my back against a wall, beneath a massive concrete arch
- >”silly westerner, did you really think you could escape unit 731”
- >”never was my plan”
- >through the domed glass roof, I could make out a large 4-engine prop plane pulling away
- >I silently count 44, 43, 42
- >across the room, a bullet had fractured the glass
- >the creature awakens, and it’s tentacles smash through the glass
- >grabs an officer by the legs, making him drop his sword
- >approaching me, while tearing the guy apart lengthwise without lewding
- >the japs slowly retreat
- >that thing is probably at least 1000kg
- >grab the katana that conveniently landed in my direction
- >Fend off the tentacles trying to grab me, back against the wall
- >won't last long, but I don’t have to
- >I am beneath a massive concrete arch, it is beneath a glass roof
- >in an instant, everything turns white
- >I hear sizzling, start to smell burning flesh
- >even the reflection feels like I’m in an oven
- >about two seconds later the touch of divinity kicks me awake
- 16
- >I wake up in the mud, surrounded by burnt remains of a forest
- >still not my bed
- >artillery thundering in the distance
- >distant chattering of MG fire, occasionally interrupted by German and French shouting
- >as I look to the sky, the layer of ash, fog and dust is breached
- >an angelic figure descends from the heavens
- >camouflage helmet and facepaint, grey/brown feathered wings and a hexagonal brass halo above his head
- >zergface.jpg
- >He introduces himself as an angel of the /k/ube
- >”anon! you may not like it but your destiny awaits”
- >”I do not have much time. Your future is of great importance to the /k/ube”
- >”why me?”
- >”the /k/ube needs more than just competent warriors”
- >”also most kommandos would be distracted by their …more human faults”
- >”now go and face your enemies”
- >a mortar shell lands next to me and I wake up (again)
- >Hear noises from the apartment door
- >unbarricade my door, grab knife and warcrime tubes from bedside table
- >Taeriel is already standing in the hallway, a dagger in hand
- >”someone is trying to break in, anon”
- >”sounds and smells like goblins”
- >look through the peephole
- >”four of them. shives and knives. they’re picking the lock”
- >”do something, Anon”
- >”at this range they’re going to overwhelm us”
- >”I don’t want to be raped- not by them”
- >”don’t let them take us alive”
- >pull out one of the WP pipes and point it at the door
- >please don’t explode in my hand
- >”stand behind me and try to avoid the smoke”
- >*click*
- 17
- >the door is pushed open
- >they lined up neatly behind the door
- >”willkommen in Österreich, Untermenschen”
- >I pull the pin
- >1/4 a second later, the incendiary payload bursts free from it’s tube
- >bits of yellow fire spread in a wide cone, leaving streaks of dense, white smoke
- >phosphorus sticks to gobs
- >because they stacked up neatly behind the door, everyone gets his share, little is wasted
- >[goblin screaming]
- >they (s)tumble down the stairs, running away with several globs of fire sticking to each one of them
- >I get a jar of water to put out the fires in the stairwell
- >the building is made of bricks and concrete, nothing to catch on fire
- >neighbor’s doormat got scorched tough
- >start scraping up extinguished phosphorus
- >struggling to keep my eyes open from the irritating smoke
- >got to clean up this hazard
- >might also be able to reuse it
- >happymrechant.jpg
- >less than a minute after their retreat, the screams subside
- >they made it to the river running near the building
- >my guest is still standing there, seemingly in shock
- >oh yeah right neither her nor them probably ever saw black powder before
- >”what in the name of the moon spirit was that, anon?” the elf inquired
- >”that was some advanced pyromancy. I didn’t know monkeys on this side could do that”
- >”I wish I could. that was just some white phosphorus”
- on a side note NileRed and Explosins&Fire in particular have great videos on white phosphorus if any one is interested
- 18
- >she seems to have noticed my eyes
- >”what happened to your eyes, anon? are you ok?”
- >”don’t worry about me. the stuff just makes acid smoke”
- >”quite irritating, but I’ll be fine”
- >she reaches for my head and I instinctively take a step back
- >”let me help you”
- >she reaches out again
- >I reluctantly let her
- >she lays her hand on my face, her eyes give off a dim, green glow
- >my eyes start watering (even more), my throat hurts
- >I am NOT crying ffs
- >fucking forest kike trickery
- >she draws several tears from my eyes
- >they just float weightlessly for a few seconds before simultaneously falling and splashing on the floor
- >the tears have stopped, and my eyes don’t feel like they are melting anymore
- >”thanks, I guess”
- >”we should prepare. they might come back” she suggested
- >”I doubt it. the stuff is pyrophoric – self igniting once dry”
- >”and if that doesn’t get them, it’s still more poisonous than cyanide”
- >”that sounds horrible”
- >”one of the reasons why it’s use as weapon is frowned upon”
- >”so tell me about these goblins”
- >the way she describes them, she almost sounds like a /pol/ack describing jews and niggers but with a pinch of Fritzl
- >also they smell better when on fire
- >Sargon- moral community.wav
- >after about 10 minutes we hear goblin screams coming from the forest
- >”like I said, white phosphorus is pyrophoric”
- >we end up talking about the dangers of the other world for a while
- >flashbacks from the nsfw boards
- >bombs away mister Lemay
- >I eventually manage to convince her that they’re not coming back, and go to sleep again
- >hard to sleep after that
- >only now it occurs to me
- >those few tears would not have been enough to flush out the acid
- >the acid must have been concentrated in those tears
- >this may have great implications for our understanding of thermodynamics
- >also more nightmares
- >the typical “home defense but every single weapon I touch malfunctions comedically” dream
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