I matched with this girl on tinder near the beginning of August and we talked back and forth before I finally invited her out for coffee. The coffee date went extremely well and we talked for a good while, not really running of things to say, so later I text her saying something like "hey, I enjoyed speaking with you today, when's the next time I can see you?" and she's like "I did too, how about Thursday? (our coffee date was on a Monday I think)"

So we meet up for breakfast and afterwards kinda just fuck around at a grocery store talking about shit (not exciting for a date I know) before she gets a call from her aunt to babysit her little cousin who is currently living with her family atm. When she drops me back off at my place, we kiss, then I ask her when we can meet again. She's like, "how about tonight? If I'm not busy." She comes over that night and we took around and eventually it leads to sex. During this point, however, she informs me that she just got out of a 4 year relationship so she wasn't looking for anything serious. Pretty disappointing for me but I'm too much of a hopeful, persistent, and gullible person. She ends up spending the night at my place.

Soon thereafter, she goes on a trip to Seattle, and when she comes back, we immediately make plans again. I see her a few more times. The first time I see her after her trip to Seattle, she messaged me asking me if she could come over insinuating that she wanted to fuck. I told her that I'd love to hang out with her but I wasn't in the right mental state atm to have sex so we can just chill or whatever and she's like "okay yeah that sounds just as nice honestly". She comes over and we talk for a little bit before getting a little intimate, like no kissing or anything but cuddling on the couch and talking. She tells me "she's never been that close with a guy before." Then all of a sudden an alarm goes off and she says she has to go. She tells me her and her friend set up a system where she is not allowed to be with someone for longer than two hours (a rule she broke with me the first time we had sex, in fact, she told me her friend would chew her out for breaking that rule but she did it anyway). I'm like... okay... and then she leaves. At this point, during conversations between me and her over text, I am aware that she is seeing other people (as am I). But I can't help but shake that she treats me differently from all her other dates. The next time I see her, she comes over and we have sex, and she spends the night again (breaking her friends rule again). I make her breakfast the next morning like a dumb bitch, and yadda yadda.

So, later, I message her to be like "so are you looking for a relationship or nah, cause I'm getting some very mixed signals here" and she reaffirms to me that she is not looking for anything. She tells me not to get too attached or she might have to block me?? Well, to provent myself from continuing being lead on like this, I tell her I'm just gonna make the first move in that situation and cut contact with her.

The next day I felt sorta bad and I re-added her on Snapchat and to my surprise she accepted the invite. I explained to her my feelings and she told me she understood and that they were completely valid. She gives me a proposition, the first option is for us to continue to just have straight sex and nothing else, and I will only see her during certain times and certain days (she described this as "being treated like the rest of her 'hoes'"). The second option was to just be friends and chill and hang out like friends do. At first I'm a little resistant to this, but then finally I'm like, "what do you want me to choose?" She tells me it's not up to herself, it's up to me. So I choose option 2 and she's like "I was hoping you'd choose that option".

So we continue talking a lot, sending each other memes, connecting through our shared interests. I share with her a lot of my favorite songs and she adds them to her playlist. At one point we make an endless drive and end up at a state park where we go walking around, then drive to my mom's place, then go home where we layed on the couch and played Stardew Valley before she finally went home. Lots of days of us just going out and doing stuff. After one day of going go-karting and going out for ramen, she drops me off at my place but not before we have a long chat about something. At this point, we're sitting in the parking lot of my apartment complex.

Before, when she would talk about her ex boyfriend (the one she got out of a relationship with), she would talk about him in fleeting moments that were brief. She told me that he was still in her life, just hanging around, that he was paying for her school, and that he would buy her gifts, and apparently he was good friends with her parents and would come over all the time to hang out with them and I'm like... this is weird. And so in my mind I was 90% sure they were still together.

Then she tells me why they broke up, she said that she found multiple attempts of him trying to meet up with other women (but never actually succeeding in doing so) throughout the span of their relationship. She told me that at one point she was pregnant with his baby but a few days later she saw dating apps on his phone again and the stress of him trying to cheat on her caused her to miscarry. They were living together until eventually she moved back in with her mom. So they were off and on a few times. She's about nearly crying at this point trying to tell me all of this because she just wants to get away from it all, she's telling me that she doesn't like her bf or the fact that her mom instigates her whole situation of him just being at her house all the time because she likes him a lot (one thing I left out: before we got ramen earlier that day she received a Snapchat from her ex with her mom and him in the same photo hanging out, and she mumbled something like "they're pissing me off", and I was like ??? who?). I was so confused at this point but I also felt sorta bad and I wanted to help her. We hug and part ways for that night.

So we're still friends at this point and my birthday comes around and I invite her along, she meets my parents and shit. My parents are like "y'all just friends?". Whatever, I guess. Then, a few days later (last Friday, actually), I get a text from an unknown number.

The text was from someone named Sam who was taking one for the team to tell me that she is in fact still dating her boyfriend (as I had expected, no surprise there), and that they are still very much in love and that they are just in an open relationship so she may be satisfied sexually while he focuses on his career, and that they were just informing me about all of this because they didn't want to see me get hurt or whatever. I am so fucking confused at this point, because earlier this girl was on the brink of tears telling me about all of these issues. I confront her about this and she's just like "that's probably my ex who took my phone and got your number, he's done this shit before" and I'm like, okay well is it true? And she's like," some of it is true". Okay well then, we need to talk.

I go out on a date later that night (last Friday) and end up getting pretty drunk, then drunk calling her and saying a whole lotta stuff I don't remember. But I do remember just this amount of affection we had towards each other and everything. Later that night she goes out and when she comes back home she calls me and we talk for a good long while about our feelings towards each other and shit. We make plans to see each other the next day.

So we see each other the next day and we're doing things we wouldn't have done previously, holding hands, passionate kissing, etc. like things you would do with someone you're dating, y'know? After getting breakfast, we go home and we lay on my bed and I'm like, okay, tell me the deal with this Sam person.

She informs me that while she was dating her ex, this rando hacked into all of her stuff. Got her nudes and everything, telling her he was going to blackmail her if he didn't do what he wanted: a sex tape of her and her ex and of her fucking other people as well. Apparently he started sending her snapchats of pictures of her house and according to her she was scared shitless so she obliged. She told me that her and this rando talked back and forth and that they became friends for awhile (???????) before she finally blocked him. She showed me the conversation between herself and him on snapchat and I saw that this guy had a Bitmoji, but a snapcore of like 27 or something, which made me question: to what extent is this a throwaway account for him to message her on, and to what extent is she telling the truth. Because a some of the things she said was consistent of what she was told me in the past, but A LOT of it also didn't add up.

She also told me that when she and I first met, she was still dating her ex and that they were doing an open relationship but it was off and on for a while before HE finally broke up with HER on Thursday, which explained why she was cool with what we were doing now. At this point I just put all of this to the back of my mind and sorta focus on her, cause I felt like she really liked me, unless she was a really good actor and loved wasting her time for some reason.

I asked if we could be exclusive because I knew she was still seeing guys from Tinder and she's just like, sure. Then, on Tuesday, she backtracks the whole exclusivity thing telling me she doesn't know me very well (I've known her for two months at this point) and that she wants to keep her options open in the future just in case I turn out to be someone completely different. I push back on this and I'm like, well can you at least try it for a week? And she says she will. Then yesterday, she comes over and we chill and cuddle on the couch before her aunt calls her to babysit her little cousin. She leaves, then we message back and forth a little bit sending each other memes, then an hour later I find she has blocked me on everything. So that brings me to now.

One thing I left out is that during the brief moment we were dating this week, she told me she didn't want to have sex with me because she wanted to test me to see whether or not I actually really liked her or if I was just going through all this dumb shit for some pussy. Obviously, I really liked her, but I'm also a really stupid, oblivious, and gullible man, and I should have went on my gut feeling the first time I dropped her ass.