I Became Blind Within 6 Hours

I Became Blind Within 6 Hours

No earlier symptoms, no accident, and no pain. It just happened within hours, and I lost my vision! It rattled my life as a software developer

This is the story of of how I lost vision in my left eye. I was perfectly fine the day before, and it hit me completely out of the blue. I try to console
myself, thinking it’s just my left eye affected, and I still have my right eye to rely on. However, it has rattled my life far beyond what I ever
anticipated.

I wish I had known this earlier; I wish someone had shared it with me so I could have been better prepared. Unfortunately, I had to learn it the
hard way.

Hence, I really want to share this with as many others as possible, especially with fellow IT developers who follow me here. The importance of eye
health is priceless, especially for any fellow software developers.

I hope none of you have to go through what I did. But if anyone does, at least you’ll be more prepared.

 First and foremost, I really want to extend my sincere thanks to the following people. They have been like angels sent from above, gracing
 me through my hell-like experience:

 - REA Group and my fellow colleagues for the flowers, prayers, and well wishes.
 - Both Simon’s & Chris’ Crossway Life Group members, and former Clayton Church Life Group friends who constantly encouraged us, upheld
 us in prayer, and offered to provide food and transportation. Thank you for all the healthy and delicious food!
 - My son’s and daughter’s friends and family who prayed and comforted them during such a moment. Some even brought food, which was
 truly a blessing. Special thanks to the university tutors, lecturers, and dean for providing much-needed support.
 - And to the many other friends and family members, both near and far, who sent their well wishes and kept us in their prayers.
 - (Apologies to all whom we have not informed, as things happened too quickly, and we only reached out to those closest to us for aid).

 Special shout out to the following people:
 - Jessen & Soo: Who set up the committee and organized the entire troop for meal preparation and transportation for us throughout the
 week.
 - Chris & Mary, David & Irene, Xiao Ping & Soo, Stephen & Christine: For comforting chats during the limo rides to and from the hospitals.
 - Edmund & Xiao Ping: Helped us mowed the two large patches of grass we have, including the nature strip. It was done professionally!
 - Lu Yee, Eric, Irvin & Geraldine: For coming over to share their personal experiences of similar medical journeys, helping me brace the
 situation better.

 And my deepest appreciation goes to my beloved wife, son, and daughter, who have given me the strength to persevere through this
 journey. Facing the challenges together and standing by me every step of the way.

 All in all, I thank God for what I have had and still have. For they are all gifts from above that may I use as blessings to others.

The days before the incident

I haven’t reach my 50s. An age considered young for any real eye problem. What leads to my blindness? Could it be my lifestyle?

Living a healthy lifestyle

I’ve been exercising for over 15 years, nearly every day, for about an hour or more. My routine includes push-ups and squat-ups. I maintain an
excellent BMI and have achieved an optimum height and weight.

With a resting heart rate of 50 bpm and great stamina, I’m in top shape. Just a few days before the incident, I hiked up a hill that usually takes 50
minutes to walk, but I completed it in about 25 minutes, and doing 2 rounds of it consecutively.

Additionally, I stretch daily, reaching not only my toes but also touching my knee with my head.

My systolic blood pressure was around 130+ for the last few years, but it has reduced to 120+ in the past month before the incidents, after
occasionally practicing the 16/8 diet. An improvement, at least.

I don’t smoke or drink alcohol. Some coffee and tea occasionally.

In short, I strive to live as healthy a lifestyle as I can.

Some shortcoming in life

Of course, there are some less-than-ideal aspects of my life. I’ve worn glasses since my teens, with a prescription index of +7.5 for both eyes.

As a software developer (now specialized on Mobile development), I spend a significant amount of time in front of screens — both on my phone
and computer. Over the last 30 years, since my college days, I’ve averaged 10–12 hours per day in front of screens.

Almost everything I do, from work and learning to staying updated with news and socializing, revolves around my phone or computer. Screens
are an integral part of my life.

However, in today’s world, “isn’t this the norm for everyone?” I rationalized. I saw no issue with embracing this lifestyle before this incident
occurred.

Stress level before the incident

I don’t recall being too stressed lately. My family situation has been better. Work stress is at a normal level, with some technical requirements to
cope with, but that’s quite normal.

In fact, there were some great moments the week before. I helped organize a simple surprise birthday for a friend the Friday before. I also
prepared a simple surprise anniversary celebration for a co-worker in the office on the day itself. The days were filled with happy moments.

If something out of the ordinary happened lately, it’s some unexpected management incident I needed to cope with that week itself. But it’s part
of life in any business. I think overall it turned out relatively well the day before.

I don’t see any current stress or issue that would trigger any impact on my eyes. Life was good!

Day 1 (Thursday): The day when it all happened

On a Thursday morning, I arrived at the office for an organizational event where I was one of the presenters. The focus of the day was on
developers’ wellness. It wasn’t a technically heavy event, so it should be a relatively stress-free day.

We had minimal screen time due to live, in-person presentations and interactions. If there’s any day that would strain my eyes less, this is one of
those days.

My presentation was in the morning. I enthusiastically delivered my presentation, concluding with a surprise anniversary celebration for a fellow
pioneer who also organized the event. It was a fantastic moment!

Following that, we enjoyed a group Kahoot! games session, which was another enjoyable and relaxing experience. At that time, I don’t recall
feeling anything strange with my eye yet.

The first notice that something is not right

By almost noon, we had a breakout session where we chatted casually in small groups. I noticed a small, semi-transparent bubble on the bottom
right of my left eye. It didn’t show up always, but only when I looked left or down, it appeared.

The semi transparent little bubble that float on the right bottom of my eye

There’s no pain, and no other strange feeling, just felt weird seeing something floating on the bottom right of my left eye.

I went into the washroom, thinking something got into my eye. I just need to wash it away, and that will be it. I washed it with water, but it’s still
there. I even took a photo of my eye to check. It looks just perfect. I can’t see any dot in my eye.

I brushed off the idea of anything serious, assuming it would eventually resolve itself. Therefore, I chose to stay at the workplace and continue
attending the event.

It’s getting more obvious

We continued to have great sessions in the afternoon that I certainly didn’t want to miss. Our new CTO came to present to us mobile developers
for the very first time, followed by a well-respected expert and ex-colleague who came back to be interviewed in a panel.

I enjoyed the day so much that I continued to ignore how severe my eye condition was becoming. Within that short 3 to 4 hours, without feeling
any pain or irritation in my eye, the bubble gradually grew and darken.

Little did I know, these were the critical moments I should have acted upon. It could have changed everything. I was just too naive and
simple-minded, thinking that if something was bad, it had to be painful. Since there was no pain, I didn’t think much of it.

By the time I realized it was getting serious, it had already occupied about 50% of my left eye.

50% of my vision are blocked, but still see through some what

I can still see through it somewhat, but it’s clear that the dark patch is covering almost 50% of my left vision.

As it’s almost the end of the day and time to go home, I thought I might as well just head home and consider arranging a check-up tomorrow.

 I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to call me an idiot right now… Seriously, go ahead. I totally feel like an idiot for not knowing where my
 priorities should have been. It’s been a tough lesson to learn. I don’t think there are many idiots like me out there, but if there are, I hope at
 least one can learn from my mistake and avoid being in my shoes.

It’s almost gone …

On the journey home, I boarded the train, expecting a quick 30-minute ride. Despite encountering a colleague before boarding, I kept silent
about the ordeal I was facing. Engaging in conversation did help distract me from my concerns about my eyes.

During the train ride, I decided to close my eyes and rest, hoping it would improve my vision. However, to my horror, upon reaching my
destination after half-dozing for 30 minutes, I discovered that my eye condition had significantly worsened.

A staggering 90% of my left eye’s vision had vanished!

My vision become 90% gone, only remaininly top and left side visible to light

I’m puzzled about what caused the sudden deterioration of my eye. Could it be me closing my eye? Or perhaps the constant vibrations from the
train ride?

I’m starting to feel stressed out now, but it may be too late.

To get home from the train station, I took a bus. During the 30 minutes bus ride, I try dozing therapy again that I know it’s unlikely to work, but
that’s the only thing I can think of doing now.

Clearly it is not helping. I need to tell someone.

Breaking the news to someone… with my stupid recommendation

I got home and told my wife I had bad news to share with her. Then I turned on the light as I wanted her to check my eye.

She asked, ‘What bad news? Are you being fired? Why do you need to turn on the light?’

She was seated, so I knelt down to our eye level. I took off my glasses and asked her to take a look at my left eye, wondering if she noticed
anything wrong.

She said, ‘Nothing unusual. Looks all good.’

I told her, ‘I can’t see. I’ve lost 90% of my vision in this eye.’

She startled but still stayed calm.

I suggested, ‘Maybe we can schedule a checkup with an optometrist tomorrow.’

 What a stupid recommendation, still trying to act chill at such a moment!!

She quickly came up with a more practical recommendation: “Let’s quickly go to the closest GP (General Medical Practitioners) that’s still open at
this hour”. It’s past 6 pm by now.

 I’m glad she kicks in with the right thing to do. Still being gracious to me despite my naivety and lack of sense of urgency on such a critical
 issue. I owe much to my dear wife, who always has an eye out for deciding the right thing at the crucial moment.

Is it a heart attack? Is it a stroke?

We went to the nearest medical center, hoping it was still open. Normally, it’s bustling with lots of cars parked outside, but today there weren’t
many. We hoped it was simply because it was a less crowded day.

As I walked in, I saw the receptionist and one person seated in the waiting area, likely a patient waiting to be seen. I was relieved to see no one
queuing up at the reception, so I approached her.

“Sorry, we’re closing. We’re not taking in new patients,” she told me.

I felt disheartened but didn’t give up.

“Hmm, but my left eye just turned blind suddenly,” I responded.

I could see her eyes widen, and she seemed to become alert immediately.

“This is a trauma case.” she said.

She quickly led me to a seat and brought a nurse to assist me.

Both of them decided to support me as I walked and escorted me to a room. The nurse asked me to sit down, get me to explain what happened,
and she began a series of checks on me.

She asked me a few simple logical questions to assess my cognitive level, checked my blood pressure (which had risen to 150+ by then), and had
me perform various movements with both my hands and legs. I performed all of them well.

She also inquired if I felt numb in any way. I did not.

I think those were checks for a stroke or heart attack. I think I passed those tests.

The only really concerning issue was my left eye. I couldn’t even see the biggest “E” on the normal eye chart, as there was no light getting through
to my left eye at all.

She brought a doctor in. The doctor told me that they can’t do anything for my case here and asked me to go to the Eye and Ear Specialist in the
city immediately. No appointment needed. Go now!

The emergency experience

My wife had never driven into the city in her entire life. She feared the traffic, pedestrians, confusing roads, and tram lines the most. I, too, rarely
drive there and usually take public transport.

But tonight, we had no choice. My wife gathered her courage and was partially guided by a person with impaired vision as we navigated into the
city. After a few confusing and risky maneuvers on the road, we finally arrived at the Eye and Ear Specialist.

It was nearly 8 pm when we reached the city, and miraculously, there was only one remaining parking spot right in front of the hospital’s
emergency entrance. The parking was limited to 2 hours, ending at 10 pm. This meant we could park for more than 2 hours without any issues. It
was a small but pleasant blessing on such a horrific day.

I handed the referral letter provided by the doctor at the medical center to the emergency counter reception for triage. I was grateful they helped
me fill out all my details, as with only one eye and in shock, it would have been hard for me to do so.

It took about 25 minutes for them to call me into the area attended by an optometrist, a waiting time I considered fast compared to our last
experience in an hospital emergency queue, which lasted for hours.

As I was called, I walked as if I was a person with a normal binocular view, unaware that not seeing out of my left eye was a risk in itself. I
accidentally bumped into a partially closed door on my left before entering. Ouch!

 Lesson learned: When we only have one eye left to see, our brain still thinks we can walk like a person with two eyes, without realizing we’ve
 lost one side of our view and depth perception. It’s better to be guided by another person.

The optometrist quickly apologized and guided me into a room. She then asked me a few questions and performed several eye tests, such as the
eye chart, Ishihara test, and eye pressure measurement. She also administered eye drops to dilate my eyes for a more thorough check by an
ophthalmologist.

I still had no clue what happened to my eye.

It’s Retina Detachment!

As I sat in the inner room attended by the optometrist, I anticipated seeing an ophthalmologist soon. However, the wait felt like an eternity,
despite the fact that there were only a handful of patients.

During the wait, my wife began texting family and friends about our situation. I closed both my eyes, as the experience of being blinded in one
eye was terrifying. It wasn’t just about losing sight in one eye; it felt like I had lost a part of myself.

Unprepared for the extended wait, our phone battery ran out. Fortunately, our family friend, Jessen, and Soo came all the way to the emergency
room to bring us a power bank and even bought few new cables for us. Their kindness deeply touched us.

After nearly four hours, at midnight, we were finally called up.

The ophthalmologist used a specific eye machine to examine both of my eyes, instructing me to look at different angles for her to diagnose all
areas of the eyes.

Finally, I learned what had happened to my left eye — it was Retina Detachment. A painless yet dangerous eye problem that needed immediate
treatment.

The ophthalmologist informed us that an immediate operation was required, but it wouldn’t happen that night. Instead, someone would call me
the next day to confirm the details. I needed to return home and wait further.

Public or Private?

Another pivotal decision we made that night seemed simple and straightforward, but we soon realized there was more to consider (as we learned
the next day).

After the ophthalmologist revealed the diagnosis of Retina Detachment and the necessity of an operation, she asked if I had coverage through a
Private Health Fund, to which I responded affirmatively.

When I inquired about the differences in treatment levels, she explained that both options would have the same wait duration since it was an
urgent case. Opting for the private route would mean being treated by a more experienced ophthalmologist, but it would entail additional
medical fees.

For us, the most important priority was to address the issue as soon as possible. Naturally, having an experienced ophthalmologist was
preferable. The estimated cost of the private route provided by the doctor fell within an affordable range considering the seriousness of the
health matter.

At the time, we felt confident in our decision, but the events of the next day made us question whether we had made the right call.

Day 2 (Friday): A wasted day with worse revelation

The next morning, which was a Friday, I skipped work (obviously) since I have messaged the company last midnight to inform them that I’d be off
for a few weeks. I felt bad about not being able to respond to the caring messages from my colleagues. But I have to get my priority right, by
completely cut myself off from any screen time.

We waited eagerly for a call from the hospital, but it didn’t come even after 9 am. As usual, my wife took proactive steps and reached out to
friends to gather contacts of specialists, just in case we didn’t receive the call from the hospital.

Finally, at 9:45 am, we received a call. The caller instructed us to go to a specific address, which turned out to be the same place I had visited the
previous night. The appointment was scheduled for 1:20 pm, with the operation planned for 6 pm.

With the appointment confirmed, we felt relieved. My wife decided to forgo reaching out to other specialists, as our main focus was on getting the
fastest route to treatment.

Wrong place …

One of our friends, Chris and Mary, who had helped us look for other eye specialists earlier, offered to drop us off at the hospital. We were
incredibly grateful and relieved, as my wife wasn’t keen on driving to the city again, especially during such a stressful moment.

We informed Mary that we were going to the Eye and Ear Specialist, as the caller that morning had told us it was the same place we had visited
the previous night. However, upon our arrival, there seemed to be some confusion at the reception desk. While they could see my name on the
list, we weren’t on the schedule. They asked us to have a seat and wait.

Shortly after, we received another call from the same person who had called us that morning. She informed me that we had gone to the wrong
building and needed to walk across a few streets to reach the correct clinic.

I later learned that the caller was from a private clinic, whereas the Eye and Ear Specialist was a public hospital. Since I had opted for the private
route, I needed to be attended to at the clinic first.

It was my mistake for not adhering to the given address, but fortunately, the clinic was only a few streets away, about a 5-minute walk.

Wrong date & time !!?

I arrived at the clinic, noted by its upscale appearance with classy decor and professional-looking receptionists.

Upon reaching the reception desk, I was asked to fill out a new form. I felt slightly dismayed as

* I had to do it myself with just one eye despite this being a private clinic. I hadn’t expected that, especially since at the public specialist hospital I
 visited yesterday, which is supposed to be less service-oriented, everything was taken care of for me.
* I had already filled out similar paperwork yesterday at the hospital, so they should have had all my details on file. I shouldn’t have had to
 provide most of the same information again, except for any additional details they might need.

However, that disappointment paled in comparison to what I was about to hear next.

The receptionist informed us that she had made a mistake earlier in the morning when she called us to confirm our operation time. Instead of 6
pm today (Friday), it was actually scheduled for 7:30 am tomorrow morning (Saturday).

What?! Another 13.5 hours to wait?! Friends had advised us that retinal detachment needed immediate attention, where every minute counts.

A simple word, “mistake,” from her had cost me an additional 13.5 hours of waiting. Will I lose my sight permanently because of this “mistake”?

My mind raced, trying to understand what had gone wrong. Perhaps if I had chosen the public route, I might have kept the original 6 p.m.
appointment at the public Eye and Ear Specialist Hospital. However, because I opted for the private route, I had been rescheduled to fit the private
doctor’s schedule, resulting in the extended wait. Am I paying to wait longer and risk my sight further?

I felt cheated. We had received the call that morning informing us of the 6 pm operation time, causing us to forego consulting other specialists. If
we had known earlier about the operation will only happen 7:30 am the next day, we might have explored other options.

But now, it was too late.

The identical repeated process

Not too long await, I was called in by a “posh-looking” optometrist (relative to what I experience in the Public Hospital) for my eye check.

The check that was done is just identical to what was done in the public hospital such as the eye chart, eye pressure measurement and also
inserting some eye drops to dilate my eyes. In fact it misses a few steps such the Ishihara test.

I’m deeply disturbed within, thinking I’m just doing it all over again in this private clinic what I’ve done yesterday at the public hospital. I don’t need
an additional “posh-looking” service now, but just anything essential to save my eye. What a waste of precious time that counts every minute in
such critical moment!

Nonetheless, I console myself with the hope that as I chose the private route, I will at least have a more experienced ophthalmologist.

The detail revelation of my condition and the process

It’s about 2 p.m. The ophthalmologist arrived (presumably after lunch). The reception quickly went to have a word with him. I thought perhaps she
was informing him that we were really concerned about our operation being postponed from today at 6 p.m. to tomorrow at 7:30 a.m., which
would give the ophthalmologist some time to come up with good reasons for the change in our operation date and time.

I was called in as the first patience. He performed the more specific eye check using the eye machine, with the same process that I went through
last night.

Then he sat down calmly and explain my condition.

* There’s a tear in my left retina, indicating clear retina detachment, mostly detached.
* The tear has affected the Macula, the central area crucial for main vision focus.

Image from https://vmrinstitute.com/what-is-the-macula/

* Operation required to prevent permanent blindness in the left eye.
* Operation is called Vitrectomy; gas will be inserted into my left pupil to aid reattachment.
* Gas takes 3 to 4 weeks to dissipate; vision impaired during this time.
* After operation, required to sleep face-down to aid retina attachment.

Image from https://www.rutnin.com/en/eye_knowledge/detail.189.1.html

* No guarantee of full vision restoration, especially due to tear affected Macula area.
* Guaranteed early onset of cataracts in left eye post-operation.

The dubious and worrisome info

The ophthalmologist also explained, since the tear has affected the Macula area, we have already surprise the critical time of getting an
immediate operation. He said my eye may not return to normal vision.

He continued by stating that operating on it this evening or tomorrow morning would make no difference. In fact having it in the evening might
risk it postponing, in case if there are other more urgent case came in (e.g. a child eye got poke with a fork). Nonetheless, it’s still good to do it
soon, like do it in the weekend (Saturday, the operation is officially not open) instead of waiting till Monday.

I am torn hearing this.

* As he mentioned it’s better on the weekend instead of Monday to get an operation soon, wouldn’t a Friday evening be even better? Could it be
 just an excuse to fit his schedule? But I won’t want to argue with him, as it makes me no good if I make him unhappy, as he will perform my
 operation.
* But what struck me most is, he stated I’m already past the critical time to save my eye! How bad will it be? Will I even get to see something again
 in my left eye?

I asked the ophthalmologist what “normal vision” meant. He explained it using an analogy of a sticky tape. If you remove a little and stick it back,
the center part should be fine as it was before. However, if it has been removed beyond the center part, sticking it back won’t guarantee the
center part will fit perfectly anymore.

At that moment, my optimism just collapsed. Will I be permanently impaired? What will my life be like after this? How will it affect my daily job as a
developer?

Reality sunk in and I just started to really “worry”… my vulnerability exposed.

My days darken. This is the moment I’m truly scared now.

Not the instant when I first turned blind. Not the moment when I learned I had a detached retina. But when the ophthalmologist said I had passed
the critical moment to save my eye, reality sunk in.

 I’m thinking if I could just get that ‘worry’ sooner and see this coming much earlier, I would have escaped this ordeal. Staying calm, steady,
 and positive is great, but not to the extent of missing the critical time to act. I was just so lame.

We returned home.

My wife stayed calm and comforting. I knew she must be extremely worried and scared inside, but she remained strong. However, I was beyond
comforting anyone.

At night, I just cried out to to God, “Oh God, I hope you can save my eye. Even if you don’t, I still trust You are a good God.”

I couldn’t fight God. Instead of cursing Him, I chose to thank Him for the last 40+ years of having both eyes well and blessed.

Day 3 (Saturday): The operation with another emergency

Early in the morning, Chris, Mary’s husband, came to fetch us to the hospital. It wasn’t convenient, as he had to arrive as early as 6+ am. We were
deeply grateful and felt incredibly supported in our moment of distress.

Upon reaching the hospital, I realized that I had forgotten to bring any of my identity cards. Oh no!

Chris offered to help if needed to bring the cards. What an angel!

Fortunately, the hospital didn’t require them as long as I could verify all my details with them. A relief indeed.

Public or Private again?

Before starting the entire process, we were asked to confirm whether we were opting for the private or public route, as the operation was still to
be done at the same Public Eye and Ear Specialist hospital.

Since the experienced ophthalmologist had now been confirmed, a thought crossed my mind that if I stated as Public now, I might still receive the
exact treatment as a private patient, with the main difference being that I wouldn’t need to pay the extra fees. There was still a rage within me,
perhaps fueled by the notion that the private route had delayed my operation.

Nonetheless, I maintained my integrity and stated that I was going the private route, as I had earlier decided.

A strong wife and a caring son

My wife accompanied me into the patient room of two.

This is my first major operation in life. As the main income provider for the family, my life at stake will significantly affect her. It must have been a
really rough time for her, thinking about many what-if situations.

But she knows I’m not able to provide much emotional support for her now. She stayed really strong, without me even feeling that she is shaken.
So calm.

She was advised not to stay in the hospital while I underwent the operation. Nonetheless, as she had nowhere else to go, she stayed. It must have
been a super stressful moment for her.

During these moments, I feel blessed that my thoughtful son, hundreds of miles away, called her to accompany her throughout the ordeal as
much as he could.

When I was taken into the operating theater, she broke down and cried. She couldn’t even pray. My son stepped in to console her, remarking that
every tear she shed is a prayer in itself. He expressed pride in her strength as a mother in such moment.

As a relatively young lad, the emotional support he provided her was no less than that of any experienced adult. We are blessed to have him.

Journey into the operating theater

As for me, I’m all set for the operation after fasting since 10 pm last night.

There’s not much for me to do other than provide some details with the nurse’s help in filling out forms (note: this is a Public hospital, yet they
understood a single-eyed person can’t do much with forms), have my left eye marked with an arrow, and be brought to the room with my wife.

I was asked to change into the upper part of hospital operation clothing and received an injection with a needle in my left arm (that will be used to
administer the general anesthetic later). I also underwent a Covid test (I wondered what would happen if it were positive, but thankfully it’s
negative).

After receiving several eye drops in my left eye, I was then taken to the operating theater area around 10 am.

Lying down on the bed, I was greeted by a friendly anesthetist who further calmed me down with some friendly conversation. He assured me that
he would put me to sleep before administering the local anesthetic to my eye. He reassured me that everything would be fine as he has done this
procedure countless times before.

Then, I don’t know what happened next.

Awoke halfway through the operation!

Before fully regaining consciousness, I sensed that some time had passed, and I felt somewhat awake. I could hear people chatting around me.

To my horrific realization, the operation was still ongoing! I remained in the operating theater, hesitant to open my eye (right eye, I think) or even
move it. I could feel sensations around my left eye, and the doctors were conversing. Objects were being inserted into and removed from my left
eye. Although I didn’t feel any pain, the knowledge that my eye was being worked on made me terrified.

What if I inadvertently moved my eye? Could it disrupt the operation? Would my eye be accidentally injured? Despite my nervousness, I tried to
remain calm and still, attempting to keep myself in a half-asleep state.

Though I was only partially awake, it felt like I was in a half-dreaming, half-awake state, but I was certain I was in the real world.

After about 15 minutes had passed, I heard what was likely the doctor saying, “It’s done, you can turn face down. See you tomorrow morning 10
am.”

It felt as if he were speaking directly to me, which reassured me that perhaps they had intentionally awakened me to aid in repositioning myself.
With assistance, I adjusted my body to lie facedown as they maneuvered me out of the operating theater.

There was no pain, just drowsiness as I lay facedown, being guided away from the operating room back to the room.

Journey back home, with another emergency to come!

It’s 11:45 am when I was pushed back to the room, according to my wife. I remained lying on the bed, unable to move much. The doctor instructed
me to lay face down for at least 2 hours after the operation. It’s not a comfortable position, but I complied nonetheless.

Around 12:45 pm, the nurse came in to wake me up to return to the previous position. Feeling it hadn’t been the full 2 hours yet, we requested to
stay face down until at least 1:15 pm. She granted our request.

Upon waking up, I found my left eye patched. The patch was so large that I couldn’t wear my glasses at all. With one eye blinded and the other
extremely blurry, rated at an index of 7.5, I felt almost like a fully blind person.

Despite my limited vision, I sensed my wife’s strength and calm demeanor. When lunch arrived, although my appetite was good, I offered some to
my wife. She took a few vegetables, mentioning her stomach didn’t feel right, and left the rest for me. I finished the meal, grateful for my healthy
appetite.

Soo (who provided us with the power bank the other day) came to pick us up. My wife sat in the front with her, while I sat behind. My wife seemed
different than usual — quieter than normal, which felt off. Perhaps she was still processing some emotional moments, or maybe her stomach was
really bothering her?

Soo asked, “Are you alright?” My wife responded, “All good.”

Upon arriving home, within the same hour, my wife vomited. She experienced excruciating pain in her abdomen. The last time she experienced
gastric-like pain was years ago, and the last operation, which occurred 2.5 years ago, had fixed it.

This time was different. The pain was in her lower abdomen, unlike the gastric pain that usually occurs in the upper abdomen. She called a doctor
and described her situation. The doctor suspected bowel obstruction and advised her to go to the Emergency Room immediately.

We called Soo to come back and take her to the hospital. She graciously returned to help us without any hesitation. Truly an angel!

One of the toughest night for us, separated but we are not alone.

I was speechless, literally blinded mostly. In such a moment, my strong and supportive wife is now taken to the hospital too. I felt so helpless as I
cannot accompany her there. This is the first time she has had to go there without me by her side, and I felt for her deeply.

If there’s any night we should be together, this would be the night, to support each other. But this feels like a “perfect storm” that has hit us right
at the moment when we are most vulnerable, separating us when we need each other the most. However, God has been gracious to us, providing
us with real angels on earth.

As for me, my daughter, who is relatively inexperienced, has now become the main caregiver at home. She helps me with walking, prepares food
based on what she knows, and takes care of household chores. She has risen to the occasion, and I feel blessed to have her.

As for my wife, our church life group friends have become like extended family members. Many of them visited her, kept her company, and
brought items to her. It’s like having a whole army of support behind us. Some of these friends we’ve known for years, while others we’ve only
known for months. All of them we met after migrating to this new land less than 10 years ago.

If this had happened about 10 years ago, I wouldn’t dare to imagine how we would have fared.

Day 4 (Sunday): The recovery rules and another operation ?!

It’s Sunday morning, typically a church day for most of our friends.

However, David, a fervent Christian, made the compassionate decision to accompany me to the hospital for my 10 a.m. appointment instead of
attending church. I deeply appreciate his gesture.

Accompanied by my daughter, David brought us to the city and stayed with us until we were ushered in to meet with my ophthalmologist.

The rules and curfew that defined my weeks and months to come…

The ophthalmologist had us seated and conducted the eye check using the specialized eye machine.

I had my daughter video call my wife so she could be present for any questions. The ophthalmologist was stunted to learn that my wife had been
admitted to the Emergency Room in another hospital.

I inquired about the location of the tear, and the ophthalmologist showed me a diagram that I had drawn myself below.

 Note: I can’t really see clearly as I was without my specs; hence, below is just a rough idea of how it was drawn.

The tear is opposite from the bubble seen, as our usual does flip it around upside down (as well as the left to right, but the below was seen on the
same side, because the left image is looking from the outside, while the right image was looking from within my eye towards outside).

The ophthalmologist explains that my left eye is now filled with a gas bubble, causing my vision to be fully blurred. It feels like a thousand times
worse than my already poor vision, but at least it’s better than the total darkness I experienced on the first day.

Normal vision on the right image. On the left image shows gas bubble filled vision on the right, it’s super blurry even with glasses on..

The recovery is now divided into two phases to ensure proper retina attachment.

1 The gas will take 2–3 weeks to subside, gradually reducing over the days. During this process, I’ll experience a sensation akin to being
 underwater, with my vision partially filled by the gas and partially by my actual sight.
2 If all the above progresses as expected, and the retina attachment is successful, we’ll need to remain cautious for the next 2.5 months to ensure
 there is no new detachment. If no further detachment occurs during this period, we can consider the retina attachment to be secure.

During the recovery, I will need to adhere to the following steps:

* Avoid Changes in Altitude: While the gas is still present, refrain from taking flights or going to areas with different altitudes or pressures. Any
 sudden change could cause the gas bubble to burst, leading to permanent blindness.
* Wear Bracelet for Safety: Continuously wear the provided bracelet while the gas remains in the eye. This alerts emergency responders not to
 transport via helicopter or any mode involving altitude changes if fainting occurs.

Picture by the author showing the gas bubble bracelet

* Sleeping Position: During the first week, it’s crucial to sleep face down or, at most, with the right cheek resting on the bed. This position helps
 facilitate proper healing by allowing the gas bubble to rise and exert pressure on the retina against the wall, aiding in its attachment.

Picture by the author showing face down position lying.

* Eye Protection: Utilize an eye cover to shield the eye from accidental hits or rubbing.

Image by the author showing eye-cover

* Medication: I would need to apply Prednefrin Forte eye drops four times a day. Later I found out that this is to help reduce any eye
 inflammation, but it will also cause cataracts.
* Limit Strain and Impact: Avoid strenuous activities such as exercise, gardening, swimming, and running. Stick to gentle activities like walking.
 Push-ups and planking exercises can potentially strain the eyes during recovery.
* Minimize Head Movement: Avoid sudden movements or impacts to the head, which is why exercising should be avoided during this period.
* No Driving: No driving until vision fully recovers. However, the extent of vision recovery is yet to be determined.
* Long-term Caution: Even after recovery, it’s advisable to steer clear of activities that could exert pressure on the eye or involve significant head
 movement, such as roller coasters or bungee jumping.

My vision condition

I tried to find out about my vision recovery possibility, but the ophthalmologist didn’t want to discuss it now. I won’t know the state of my vision
(impairment) until the gas bubble has subsided.

However, at that time, I did feel a little optimistic as I could see light through, much better than the first day when completely dark blindness hit
me. Later, I learned that optimism is one thing, reality is another.

Anyway, for now, my situation seems to be reaching a more predictable state. David brought us home, with the usual calmness he always exudes.
It was a delightful journey.

Another operation!!

But my dear wife is in the hospital, how is she doing?

Her pain has subsided after they gave her painkillers, which helped. However, the CT scan results are not positive. They discovered two cysts next
to her ovaries.

The doctor is not certain at this point whether these cysts are causing the pain. But if her pains continue, addressing them will be the only option
they can try.

The doctor recommended an immediate operation the next day if she wanted to proceed!

This was beyond what I can take. I’m already almost fully blinded. Now my wife will undergo another operation. Who will support her after the
process? I will be so helpless with my single eye and many limitations and curfews imposed on me due to my recovery requirements.

Aids ready to support … a legion of angels ready to move

On the positive side, our dear friends Jessen & Soo have already rallied two church life group members who are ready to support us throughout
the entire week. Meals and transportation are all covered!

They have already devised a schedule detailing who will be doing what and when, and even held a committee meeting to discuss the logistics!

Wow, I am utterly amazed! My jaw dropped when I learned that everything was organized without us even having to ask. As soon as they realized
that both of us might be down, they sprang into action and set everything up in no time!

I am incredibly thankful for them all. These are true brothers and sisters who have come together like an army of support, covering every possible
aspect from their end.

A decision I felt I owe my wife much…

After much consideration, and with my wife having a clearer understanding of her situation, she checked with the doctor to inquire about
postponing the decision to operate.

While we can leverage the support of our dear friends from our Christian life group if both of us are down, it might still be risky to proceed with
her operation so soon after mine yesterday.

The doctor reassured her that as long as she is no longer in pain, she can postpone the decision and undergo further checks to confirm the
situation. However, if the pain recurs, then prompt action would be necessary.

With this in mind, my wife made the difficult decision to postpone the operation, prioritizing my recovery over her own well-being. This isn’t the
first time she’s made such a sacrifice, and I am truly grateful and blessed to have her by my side.

We are still unsure if this is the right decision, but her selfless sacrifice weighs heavily on my heart, and I feel deeply indebted to her.

Soo and Xiao Ping, who happened to visit her at that time, brought her home. Glad to be with her again at such a time.

Thank God, her pain has ceased. Nonetheless, the journey of battling the cysts will continue in the following weeks to come.

The recovery Journey… It’s not getting easier…

The ophthalmologist granted me three weeks of medical leave.

I thought things would improve over the weeks. However, reality is proving to be a rougher journey than I had hoped for, especially during the
second week, which drove me into a psychological panic attack!

The first week: An optimistic week!

Given the doctor’s instructions and my sincere desire to restore my eye to its normal state, I have imposed the following restrictions upon myself
for the first week:

1 Avoid engaging in any activities that strain the eye. Almost 0% screening time. This includes watching TV, using the computer or mobile phone,
 etc. This has been a part of my life for the past 30 years.
2 Cease all strenuous exercises, such as push-ups and squats, which I used to do almost daily (at least five times a week) before the incident. I will
 have to forgo this discipline that has been a consistent part of my routine for the past 15 years.
3 Commit to sleeping with my face down for the entire week, a practice I have never before experienced in my life.

In order to ensure my safety, I have chosen to remain at home exclusively during this time.

Total reset of my daily activity
With all that itself, it changed 90% of my life, including my sleeping routine!!

* Sleeping becomes a challenge, and I struggle to find rest. Throughout the nights of the first week, as I try to sleep facedown, my back starts to
 ache from being slightly bent to allow my forehead to be elevated. The discomfort wakes me up, and I spend hours sitting upright, trying to tire
 myself out before attempting to sleep again in the facedown position.
* Instead of indulging in screen time, I’ve had to find activities that don’t strain my eyes. I’ve dedicated countless hours to revisiting musical
 instruments that I’ve neglected for some time. While I thoroughly enjoy playing these instruments, I can’t let them occupy 90% of my time!
* With a family history of heart attacks, I couldn’t afford to jeopardize my overall health by completely forgoing exercise for the sake of my eye. I
 couldn’t risk losing the mobility and fitness I’ve worked hard to obtain so far. Thus, I opted for walking as a safer alternative. Gradually, I
 increased my daily step count from 1,000 to 10,000 over the course of the days.
* While unable to look at screens, I still wanted to stay connected with the world and continue learning. Since I couldn’t use my eyes, podcasts
 became incredibly useful. I listened to tons of podcasts while taking my walks, and this helped me stay informed and engaged despite my
 limitations.

The positive vibe of the week
The highlight of the first week of my recovery was when those helpful friends came to visit us. I enjoyed sharing my experience with them, and
their comforting assurance helped me maintain my optimism. Their presence made me feel well connected, and time passed by quickly during
their visits.

Towards the end of the week, I began to feel much better as I could see some brighter vision above the gas bubble, albeit slightly, as it began to
subside. This fueled my optimism about regaining vision in my left eye!

Normal vision on the right image. On the left image shows gas bubble subside a little and I can see some clear light at the top.

The second week: Psychological panic attack!!

The honeymoon phase has faded, and fewer visitors are coming by during the second week. When friends inquire about our status, we report
gradual improvement, mirroring the progress felt during the initial week.

Nevertheless, I stick to the same routine: minimal screen time, practicing guitar and piano, and taking extensive walks. Occasionally, I engage in
conversation with my wife and daughter, though they have their daily duties to fulfill and are not always at home.

Fear starts creeping over me psychologically
Without realising when, a new sensation begins to emerge — a feeling of constraint, as if I’m bound in outer space, unable to escape. I realize,
without engagin the screen, I can’t explore and learn new things visually anymore. I’ve lost touch with society and the world around me, unable to
keep up with current events.

The urge to chat with someone for relief arises, but I resist using WhatsApp to avoid straining my eyes further. It’s more than just a social media
detox; it’s a complete disconnection from visual communication networks I once relied on.

As I attempt to organize my thoughts, I realize I can’t even express myself in writing, my usual outlet. A deep sense of autophobia sets in — an
overwhelming fear of isolation and confinement.

I finally resorted to use a paper and pen to try understand my situation. I began to map out my daily activities in circles. To my surprise, I noticed
that a significant portion of them relied heavily on screen-based activities, all of which required my eyes to function properly.

My drawing of my usual activity, where I realise much of my activities and value ofscreen-based. No wonder I felt so lost without them.

My career, value to the family and society, daily organization, connections with the world, social interaction and connection, my learning and self
improvement are mostly screen based. And in losing them, I feel that I lost myself!!

No wonder I’m experiencing a real psychological panic attack now, as a partially blinded person. The majority of my livelihood will be affected by
my loss of vision. This feeling is worse than the mental worry I had on my second day when I realized I lost my vision.

Maybe it’s an addiction to overcome?
Perhaps this feeling is exacerbated by my attempt to disengage from the screens to which I’ve been addicted for the last 30 years. Managing to
disengage from an addiction might be feasible in the first week, but the struggle intensifies in the second week.

To combat addiction, one would typically turn to physical activities or social interactions. However, these options are off-limits for now. I’m
refraining from exercise and social interactions to prevent further eye damage, leaving me feeling trapped and isolated.

My left eye vision really has worsen, could be for life?!
To compound my fear, as the clear vision area on my left eye surfaced more, I realized that my actual vision in the left eye has significantly
worsened (than normal). It’s better than total blindness, but it’s losing its ability to focus properly, even with glasses. The view is extremely
blurred.

What’s even worse, the vision is distorted, with crooked shapes seen instead of what one should look like. Straight lines appear wavy. This became
particularly apparent at the end of the second week.

 Later I learned from Irvin & Geraldine we can check this using amsler-grid test. Thanks for the sharing! It’s sad my left eye failed the test.

Normal vision on the right image. On the left image shows gas bubble 50% subsided, showing the actual vision. It’s clear the vision is much worse
than what I used to have, even with glasses.

This brought back the stark reality of what the ophthalmologist had warned me about: my vision may never fully recover.

Panic surged through me once again. I spiraled into a state of profound fear, where my future appeared bleak and uncertain. As an IT developer,
the prospect of permanent vision damage threatened to disrupt my ability to work effectively. Could I still navigate screens with the same
proficiency? And if so, for how long before it became unbearable? Was my other eye at risk, too?

With compromised of my vision, tasks as simple as reading became challenging. Would I still be able to code? Could I maintain my performance in
my IT profession, upon which my family’s well-being depends?

The third week: Psychological recovery, balancing reality perception

I’m grateful that the ophthalmologist granted me three weeks of medical leave. I was clearly in total panic mode during the second week. The
third week gave me some time to recover from it.

Upon discovering my situation, I felt the need to talk to someone. I couldn’t just blurt out my fears, as I might speak irrationally. I needed to stay
calm. The physical drawing I made eventually helped me slowly explain and share my condition with my wife.

Later, a few friends visited us. Simple chatting and expressing my concerns and fears helped a lot.

Not everyone is empathetic, as one won’t truly understand without experiencing it. I won’t blame them; I can imagine myself in their shoes before
the incident, saying, ‘This doesn’t sound like a problem at all, just treat it like going on holiday, and you’ll be alright!’ However, I still appreciate
their kind gesture of consoling me.

Some others are more understanding. I appreciated how Jessen described and showed that he really understood my situation. He mentioned that
in today’s society, technology is intertwined with our daily lives. Totally disconnecting from it can lead to mental suffering. His advice was that I
could try to find a balance. I want to save my eye, but not at the expense of my mental health.

Medical advice
During my follow-up with the ophthalmologist, he stated that I’m permitted to resume screen time.

He also provided the explanation, comparing the loss of one eye to losing a leg, clarifying that while injuring one leg would strain the other, the
strain on the remaining eye isn’t exacerbated by the loss of the other. Both eyes are already functioning at full capacity all the time.

However, considering that excessive screen time isn’t ideal for eye health, it’s important to adhere to the 20/20/20 rule as much as possible. With
only one eye retaining normal vision, it’s critical to safeguard it to the best of my ability.

Condition of my vision
As for my vision, in the third week, the gas bubble subsided further. The brighter part of the vision is now much more visible, with the bubble now
reduced to a small ball.

Normal vision on the right image. On the left image shows gas bubble almost subsided fully, showing the actual vision. It’s clear the vision is much
blurry even with glasses, and crooked in shape

I need to face up to the reality of my current vision. I would rate it as having 1.5 eyes, with one normal right eye and 0.5 left eye vision.

The right eye provides clear vision, but the left eye is blurry and wavy. When I open both eyes together, the overall vision is quite distorted.

A combined vision of left and right, distorted the entire vision. Making visibility hard, and slow adjustment to it needed.

The distorted view significantly slows down my reading on the screen, particularly when scanning words and sentences. Occasionally, I’ll
unconsciously close my left eye to improve clarity, which isn’t ideal for my eye health either.

Therefore, having 1.5 eye vision isn’t always better, especially when precision is required.

Nevertheless, having 1.5 eyes does offer some relief, as it’s not complete blindness on the left side. For less detailed views, I’m grateful to still have
some level of binocular vision.

Accepting and adjusting to reality
As I enter the third week, I realize the need to adjust myself to prepare for returning to work soon. Being an IT professional and living in today’s
society, it’s unrealistic for me to completely avoid screens.

Despite living in a developed country for the past decade, I have yet to achieve financial independence, which means I still must provide for my
family here. I don’t have the luxury of “taking life easier” as some might desire.

However, it’s essential for me to readjust to a more balanced life and reevaluate my priorities. I shouldn’t push myself to the extreme in any
aspect. I need to cherish my family, friendships, and faith while working to sustain them, understanding my purpose in life.

To gradually reintroduce myself to screen time, I’ve started by spending a little time working on the screen each day to become accustomed to it
by journaling my experiences, which has proven to be therapeutic and healing for my mental well-being.

I appreciate the perspective shared by a friend, not to “waste my pain.” By sharing my experiences with others, I can raise awareness, prevent
similar situations, and support those going through similar challenges, reminding them that they are not alone in their journey.

Days ahead…

Still a mystery… but perhaps preventable

The main trigger for my retinal detachment, which occurred within just 6 hours of my awareness, remains unclear to me at the moment. This
uncertainty is quite unsettling, as it complicates prevention efforts.

From my research, I’ve learned that potential triggers could include age, shortsightedness, diabetes, and accidents involving heavy impacts to the
head. However, these are rather general measures that don’t provide specific guidance on when to take action.

Subsequently, I received insight from Lu Yee and Eric, who have had similar experiences in the past. From them, I learned the importance of
undergoing a proper eye check annually, as this could potentially lead to earlier detection of such issues.

Regrettably, I underestimated the significance of regular eye check-ups, assuming they were only necessary when I needed a change in my
glasses prescription. It’s been over a year since my last check-up, and this oversight has taught me a difficult lesson.

Hope for my eye

As mentioned earlier, my left side vision is significantly impaired, and it’s impacting my daily life.

According to some academical finding, there’s approximately a 15% chance of an individual’s distorted vision improving after 6 months. It’s a
relatively low chance. As for the blurriness, most articles I’ve read state that after the gas subsides, I should regain clear vision. However, that’s
not the case for me. The situation does look bleak, but I don’t want to lose hope, believing in God for a miracle.

Anyway, most importantly now, I still have at least 2.5 months to be cautious to ensure my left retina continues to be attached. I requested to
work from home during this duration, and I appreciate that the management is okay with me doing so.

It may not be happily ever after, but there’s a beacon of hope

I hope to conclude my writing here with a ‘happily ever after’ story. But unfortunately, my eye condition has indeed worsened before the event.
Besides, my wife’s health saga is another battle for us to face.

Nonetheless, in such desolate moments, God shows us we are not alone, sending us an army of angels on earth that has truly ferried us through
these storms. We are truly grateful for these great souls.

I love how my wife reminds me after my operation, the worst is I lose my eye, but I’m still alive, and that itself is something to be grateful for, and
a beacon of hope.

Coinciding with the day I publish this journal of mine, it’s Easter day. This reminds me of this old gospel hymn of my favorite, “Because He lives I
can face tomorrow.”