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Improve Her Home (AiE; Moondancer, WIP)

Mar 3rd, 2016
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  1. Prompt from a Moondancer thread -
  2. >improve her home
  3.  
  4. >"This is the place, buddy!"
  5. >You're Anon, the hired handyman guy from Ponyville.
  6. >Spike dragged you to Canterlot because you were complaining about work being slow.
  7. >Buildings and stuff around town always stopped being knocked over by magic or monsters around this time of year.
  8. >Usually picked up around late spring.
  9. >Anyhow, Spike insisted he had a job for you and Twilight OK-ed your usual fees plus room and board in Canterlot while you were gone.
  10. >Or at least, she said 'sure' with her face in a book.
  11. >Whatever, Princess has money, and if she didn't the bigger Princesses sure did.
  12. >Cause they're going to need it.
  13. >The house Spike brought you to looked like a Detroit crackhouse.
  14. >How it was even in Canterlot, let along not condemned and bulldozed was beyond you.
  15. >"Think you can handle it?"
  16. "I think it would be easier to knock it over and start over..."
  17. >"Come on, Anon! You fixed Bon Bon's roof!"
  18. "Because the house under it wasn't dilapidated! What is this? Twilight's parents buy this and hope to flip it?"
  19. >Spike forced a smile and shifted his feet.
  20. >"Well...no...but this is kinda a favor for Twilight...and me."
  21. >You frowned.
  22. >"Lemme introduce you to Moondancer, kay?"
  23. >Your frown turned into a look of shock when Spike knocked on the rotted door.
  24. "Wait, someone actually LIVES here?"
  25. >"Yeaaaa....kinda why we--"
  26. >The door cracked open slowly.
  27. >"Hey, Moonie! You home?"
  28. >The door opened a little more and a mare with messy hair and beat up glasses poked her head out.
  29. >She smiled when she saw Spike.
  30. >"Hi Spike, what brings you...."
  31. >Her voice trailed off as her eyes met your knees and she followed them up to the rest of you.
  32. >"....here...?"
  33. >She backed away slightly, her smile turning to shock.
  34. >Starting off on the right foot already...
  35. "Hi. I'm Anonymous. Spike says you need work on your house done?"
  36. >Might as well get to the point.
  37. >She doesn't answer.
  38. >Spike looks up at you and shrugs.
  39. >Suddenly the door swings open and she trots out with a Bestiary floating in front of her head.
  40. >"Too tall to be a kobold....too thin to be a minotaur...no horns..."
  41. >She walks around you, still muttering.
  42. "Umm..."
  43. >"No tail....no wings....what in the world are you, Anonymous?"
  44. >She lifts her head up and her magic quickly catches her classes before they slip off her head.
  45. >Sheesh, you thought Twilight was awkward...
  46. "I'm a human...Twilight and Spike said..."
  47. >She's flipping the large book to "H" as you tried to explain why you were there for the second time.
  48. "..that your house needed some repairs and that's what I do back in Ponyville--"
  49. >"Ponyville! Of course! You're from the Everfree Forest?"
  50. "Huh...no...I mean..."
  51. >"Is that H-O-O? Or H-U?"
  52. "H-U....can you stop trying to--"
  53. >"There isn't any information on anything called a Hue...what was it?"
  54. "Human"
  55. >"Right. Spike, where did you find him?"
  56. >Spike nervously shifted his weight on his feet.
  57. >"Umm...he just sorta showed up last year..."
  58. >"LAST YEAR!? This is the latest edition of...you, inside!"
  59. >Before you could protest her magic yanked you into her house.
  60. >The door slammed behind you, locking Spike out.
  61. >You heard a faint "GOODLUCK!" from the other side of the door.
  62. >Golly gee, thanks dragonbro.
  63. >"I have to study you! We have to send a report to the capitol! You're species isn't classified!"
  64. >As she rambled you had a look around the house.
  65. >The inside matched the out, old wooden floors, stained and broken supports, peeling wallpaper.
  66. >Entire place matched the look of its occupant.
  67. >Between her haphazardly repaired glasses, her god knows how old sweater, and her wild mane clipped in a tower, the only thing this place was missing was about a dozen cats.
  68. >Don't give up yet, this was only the entrance.
  69. >As you surveyed the amount of work you'll be doing, she was lighting candles, grabbing parchment and--
  70. >"Remove your shirt!"
  71. >Her magic tugged at the buttons of your workshirt, threatening to pop them off.
  72. >Screw that noise, Rarity charged you enough as it.
  73. "No, I'm not here for you to study me!"
  74. >Moondancer winced and her ears flattened to her head.
  75. >Wow, that was louder in this little shack than you wanted it to be.
  76. "Sorry...what I meant is, that's not umm..."
  77. >Her eyes were beginning to water but she was frowning hard to keep the waterworks at bay.
  78. "...you can study me but while I help fix this place."
  79. >"What's wrong with my place?!"
  80. >Great, now she's defensive.
  81. "It's falling apart. You need a new roof and the door is creaky and--"
  82. >"Maybe I like it that way!"
  83. >On cue a tile fell from the roof into the kitchen.
  84. >You folded your arms.
  85. >She snorted and turned away, and you could see her trying to discreetly wipe her eyes.
  86. >"OK, fine, it's a little...beat up. But I can't afford--"
  87. "Twilight's paying for it"
  88. >She turned back to you and narrowed her eyes.
  89. >With those eyebrows she looked ready to tear your throat out.
  90. >"...she WOULD do that. I keep telling her she's done enough but....alright, how's this."
  91. >She slipped her eyeglasses back on and looked up at you.
  92. >"You can fix what you need to fix, but I get to study you in the meantime so we can properly catalog your species!"
  93. >She still looked miffed but her tone of voice betrayed excitement.
  94. >You couldn't say no, plus the amount of work you'd need to do she could easily shadow you and not tell you what she was up to.
  95. >Twilight was going to faint when she saw the overtime billing though.
  96. "Deal."
  97. >It took a lot not to mention that was your idea in the first place.
  98. >However, while you thought she meant 'observe far away' she really meant write down everything and anything about you and humans so she could submit a 20 page report to whomever published the bestiary.
  99. >It also was a little annoying that you would be featured in a book intended for monsters.
  100. >But then again, how many humans in Equestria where there right now?
  101. >You might as well be a mythological beast.
  102. >The way Celestia looked at you on your first day, you might have been.
  103. >"So where do we begin?"
  104. >Oh right, Moondancer.
  105. "I need to survey the property then figure out how much materials I need for--"
  106. >"No, no, where do we begin with you!"
  107. >Moondancer rubbed her chin and kept pacing around you in a circle.
  108. >It was so strange.
  109. >"We need to get those garments off so I can properly draw a diagram of your physical form."
  110. "Can't you take me out to dinner first?
  111. >She blushed and turned away, looking annoyed.
  112. >"That is NOT what I mean, Anonymous! This is for research!"
  113. "Right, right, of course. Even so, I don't do naked repairman on the first day."
  114. >Lyra paid triple for that 'second day' on a 'fix bonbon's table' job.
  115. >Good times...
  116. >As you began taking in the level of damage and disrepair, Moondancer followed you.
  117. >A quill and parchment floating behind her.
  118. >Then the questions began.
  119. >What do humans eat, where do they come from, what is the limits of humans visual spectrum?
  120. >The usual things you'd ask someone who came over to fix your deck.
  121. "Gonna have to replace the roof...."
  122. >"...how long does it take to walk on two legs?"
  123. "A year. Also the insulation is rotting."
  124. >"Do humans lay eggs?"
  125. "Live birth. How did you let this window stay broken long enough that the frame fell apart?"
  126. >"I didn't have time to fix things, I've been studying! How long is the gestation period?"
  127. "Nine months. How do you not have time to fix a window? Didn't it rain on you?"
  128. >"Not in my bedroom! When do humans typically procreate?"
  129. "On friday after six beers."
  130. >"Pardon...?"
  131. "Ugh, nothing, no sense of humor?"
  132. >"This is important, Anon! When does human estrus happen?"
  133. "We don't have that, it's year round."
  134. >"So you have babies all the time?"
  135. "All the time."
  136. >You mumbled, stepping around broken glass.
  137. "You piss off the neighbor kids or something?"
  138. >"I enchanted a clipboard and it got away."
  139. >Right.
  140. >You came to a stop back where you started and sighed.
  141. "This is going to take a lot of time. I don't even know where to begin."
  142. >"Uh huh...how does a human tell another human they are interested in mating."
  143. >Your face falls flat.
  144. >She's dead serious.
  145. "I...that's a complicated question."
  146. >"You just said you had a lot of time!"
  147. "Pass on that for now. In fact, enough for today, I have to go to the hardware store and get materials."
  148. >"I'll come with you. I want to observe what humans do."
  149. >What humans...do?
  150. >She nodded toward the door.
  151. >"Pretend like I'm not here. Go about your day."
  152. >You rolled your eyes and started to walk toward Canterlot's industrial district.
  153. >"Our adventure begins! Where will the Human lead me today? Perhaps the high civilization of Canterlot is too much for him and he needs to return to the wilderness to unwind?"
  154. "We're going to the hardware store to--"
  155. >"Anon! I said pretend like I'm not here! I'm dictating!"
  156. "But you're dictating wrong."
  157. >"I am not! Anon, you worry about you, I'll worry about me!"
  158. >You 'ugh' and continue walking with your national geographic intern behind you.
  159. >"We're appear to be walking to a hardware store to retrieve supplies for the Human's project. Humans like to rebuild things as they have no architecture of their own. They move from house to house like a hermit crab and--"
  160. >Oh god it was painful...
  161. >You reached the pony equivalent of a home depot and ordered up the supplies you'd need to fix nerddancer's roof.
  162. >As you worked out when to deliver them, she continued narrating, completely oblivious to how weird she was being and how normal you were behaving.
  163. >A flash of Twilight's princess badge thing that Spike had given you ensured you didn't have to pay for anything, but you tipped the pony a couple of bits all the same.
  164. >"Humans use Pony currency, despite earlier claims that Mr. Anonymous would attempt to barter or intimidate the clerk for the purchase, indicating that they are capable of being fully assimilated into Pony culture."
  165. >The clerk looked at you funny, more than he did when your out of place looking self arrived, and you shrugged your shoulders in defeat.
  166. >With that taken care of you began to walk back.
  167. >"Satisfied with it's transaction, the human begins his trek back to...umm...where are you going? My house is that way?"
  168. "Late lunch, or dinner depending on where I end up."
  169. >"Are we going hunting? Do humans hunt prey?"
  170. "No. We're going to find a place that makes pizza cause I can't eat hayburgers and fake Prench food makes my wallet explode."
  171. >"Oh. I know a place then. It's a bit of a walk though."
  172. >"So are humans allergic to hay?"
  173. "No. We don't digest it like ponies can."
  174. >"Ah, but you can eat the fundamental ingredients in pizza?"
  175. "More or less."
  176. >Better to not tell her about the chicken farm you have back home.
  177. >Fluttershy is still convinced you're clumsy about leaving the gate open when you 'lose' a chicken every other week.
  178. >"Fascinating."
  179. "Am I really? Nicest thing a girl has ever said about me."
  180. >She peeks up from her paper and you wink.
  181. >She frowns and lifts the paper higher to hide her face.
  182. >We have a blusher.
  183. >"I have never met a single specimen of your kind before, that's all. It's a treat to be able to study you and if I'm thorough enough I'll have my name in the bestiary."
  184. "Is that a big deal?"
  185. >"Of course it is! It's a rare honor these days, everything is being discovered left and right. I'm shocked Twilight didn't jump on the opportunity."
  186. "Twilight's in about ten places at once these days. When I showed up, she wrote Celestia, Celestia visited and deemed me not a big deal, and that was that."
  187. >"I see. So has anyone tried to study you?"
  188. "Well, there was this one unicorn Lyra who seemed to hang around me a lot and--"
  189. >"LYRA!?"
  190. >Moondancer stopped dead in her tracks.
  191. >What?
  192. >"She WOULD try and jump on this. Was she taking notes? Did she mail anything to Canterlot??"
  193. "No! I mean, if she did I didn't....wait do you think she was only interested in me to get herself published?"
  194. >As you recall, Lyra did ask a lot of seemingly random questions about humans...
  195. >And if Moondancer was trying to get you to take your clothes off, Lyra succeeded and then some.
  196. >"She must have! I mean why else would she want to hang around something like yourself except to study it?"
  197. >Ouch.
  198. >You snorted, frowning like she had been at you all day.
  199. >Except she didn't seem to notice.
  200. >"Come on, Anonymous! We'll get pizza then you better cooperate, I'm getting that entry!"
  201. >You're tugged along with her magic, still a little peeved at her comment.
  202. >"Anon! Keep up!"
  203. >For a shutin bookworm she sure could move quickly when she wanted to.
  204. >You followed, admittedly acting like a little kid by purposely looking grumpy and tailing behind.
  205. "So I take it you know Lyra?"
  206. >Being a child was hard work when you were an adult, and maybe if she started talking again she'd slow down.
  207. >"We went to school together."
  208. "Did she study...well, whatever it is when you study strange creatures?"
  209. >"Xenobiology. And...well no, but she always wanted to be published and she might be using you to get that! Tell me what she asked you, what did she talk about?"
  210. >This did not sound at all like the Lyra you knew.
  211. >The Lyra you knew got into fights with BonBon about oatmeal.
  212. "BonBon hired me to fix a table and--"
  213. >"BonBon?"
  214. "Her....roommate I think"
  215. >Moondancer rolled her eyes but gave you the go ahead to continue.
  216. "Lyra watched me the whole time, kept commenting about my hands and my physique and then as I was leaving she kicked the table over and asked me to come back tomorrow without a shirt. She paid me extra and well...things happened, then BonBon came home and threw me out."
  217. >Your companion was frozen in her tracks, jaw on the floor.
  218. >"D-did you....mate with Lyra?"
  219. >Yes. Five times. We broke the table.
  220. "No, of course not. BonBon is really....ya know, possessive? Of her...roommate?"
  221. >Moondancer raised one her thick eyebrows at you, looking through you from behind her glasses.
  222. >You knew she knew you were full of shit.
  223. >But in the interest of keeping you from quitting and runing her chances at getting her article, she backed up and sighed.
  224. >"OK. That....doesn't sound entirely as dangerous as I thought."
  225. >She kicked her front leg in front of her before returning to her walk.
  226. >You couldn't tell if she was jealous of Lyra or disappointed in you.
  227. >Either way you got that little kid feeling again, except this time you felt guilty.
  228. >Wait, why feel guilty?
  229. >What do you care what she thinks about what you did back home?
  230. >You literally just met her!
  231. >Just a client, abet a more interesting one than most.
  232. >Were you worried what she thought about you?
  233. >Wait, of course, you were worried about what she was writing down!
  234. >That had to be it.
  235. >Don't want to cast a poor light on the human race, afterall!
  236. >Why did you care about that all of a sudden?
  237. >"We're here, Anon!"
  238. >All that inner monolog you hardly paid attention to where you were going.
  239. >Where she took you was a little less prim and proper than Canterlot typically was but the aromas coming from the Pizzeria made your mouth water.
  240. >Gotta be the best if you're going to survive in this city, even if you're making pizza, you mused.
  241. >You reached for the door and when you pulled it open you stepped aside to let her pass.
  242. >Have to show humanity in the best light possible!
  243. >Right?
  244. >"What are you doing?"
  245. >She looked at you quizzically.
  246. "After you?"
  247. >She sighed and nodded her head toward an open storefront.
  248. >There was a line of ponies.
  249. >The one in the front was being passed a pizza box from a clerk.
  250. >Right, pizza to go.
  251. >Duh.
  252. >You let go of the door and quietly stood next to Moondancer on the line.
  253. >"You can...umm...carry it back if it makes you happy?"
  254. "Alright."
  255. >She snickered.
  256. >You forced a chuckle too as to not seem like a poor sport.
  257. >So what, you looked dumb trying to be nice.
  258. >Happens all the time!
  259. >"Do they have Pizza back on..."
  260. >She fumbled through her notes.
  261. >"...Earth?"
  262. >What a question.
  263. "Yea, all kinds."
  264. >"That is pretty amazing that two completely different worlds have the same food...it is the same right?"
  265. "Dough, sauce, cheese, toppings."
  266. >"Round or square?"
  267. "We have both. Deepdish and thin too."
  268. >"Wow!"
  269. >Sure?
  270. "Yea it's something alright."
  271. >"No, Anon, the probability of this is astounding, I may be up all night trying to figure it out!"
  272. "Should figure out what you want on the pizza first, this line is moving quick."
  273. >"Oh, whatever, you're the one eating it, I have ramen back at the house."
  274. >She's scribbling more notes.
  275. >You peak and are assaulted with math.
  276. >She's trying to figure out the probability right now.
  277. >Could she be more of a nerd?
  278. "It could just be a coincidence? I mean we have ramen too, back on Earth."
  279. >She drops her quill.
  280. >"What!?"
  281. "Yea. Ramen, Pizza. We have those."
  282. >"What about..."
  283. >She looks around like if the wrong person hears it she'll be struck by lightning.
  284. >When she's sure its ok to speak, she leans closer to you.
  285. >She whispers something but being outside and on a busy chow line, it's a bunch of mumbles.
  286. >You ask her to say it again and she bites her lip, inches closer, and repeats it at the same volume.
  287. "One more time?"
  288. >"Ugh, forget it, when we're home."
  289. >She frowns and goes back to her notes.
  290. >Smooth.
  291. >Whatever, you decide to go with a plain pie so if she changes her mind and wants a piece it won't be something she hates.
  292. >You're carrying the box back, Moondancer scribbling away, when you decide to make the conversation about something other than you for a minute.
  293. "So...you're Twilight's friend?"
  294. >"Something like that."
  295. >Just as you were going to ask a follow up, you had to nudge her back slightly to the left to avoid her walking into a tree.
  296. >Don't calculate and canter, kids.
  297. >"Anon what are you---oh...oopsie?"
  298. >Mid scolding she realized what she was about to do.
  299. >Then noticed your hand on her back.
  300. >Even through the sweater you felt her shoulders tense as she moved away.
  301. >"Thanks!"
  302. >You nodded and continued toward her house.
  303. >"Do all humans have those?"
  304. "Have what?"
  305. >"Strong hands?"
  306. >Oh boy.
  307. "Some do. Mine are because I do a lot of work with them. Fixing things, carrying stuff, that sort of thing. Back home I didn't really do manual labor so much. Was in school still, ya know, like yourself, trying to figure out what to do with my life."
  308. >"Really? Do humans have cutie marks?"
  309. "No. We sorta try a lot of things until we find something we're really good at or something we can stand that pays a lot of bits."
  310. >Hard to say what your current line of work was.
  311. >It was difficult but you certainly enjoyed being outside and fixing things.
  312. >Granted, it helped pony society was somewhere between rural and 17th century village.
  313. >"So you were studying in a human school trying to figure out what your real talent was?"
  314. "Sure, you could say that."
  315. >"I think I understand."
  316. >There was a pause in both the conversation and her note taking.
  317. >You couldn't tell if she was thinking about what you said or trying to find a new topic.
  318. >Maybe you'll help out.
  319. "So whats with the sweater?"
  320. >"Huh?"
  321. >She gave her head a quick shake, snapping out of her temporary trance.
  322. "The sweater. It's like the perfect temperature here."
  323. >"What? You wear clothes."
  324. "I don't have fur."
  325. >"Yea, so? I like it. What's wrong with it?"
  326. "Nothing. Used to ponies not wearing clothing unless they were doing something, thats all"
  327. >"Hmph. It's comfortable. Dresses and saddles aren't comfortable at all and Canterlot can get chilly at night. I'm a little warm now but when its past closing time at the library I'm never cold on the way home."
  328. >You nodded, expecting a little more than that considering it looked like something Good Will couldn't give away.
  329. >But if Moondancer's house told you anything she wasn't one to care about outward appearances.
  330. >Best not to ask about her hairclip.
  331. >Speaking of her house, you just arrived.
  332. >She got the door open and you followed her in, pizza box still in your hands.
  333. >You set it down on a nearby table and popped the top open.
  334. >The scent of melted cheese and fresh dough began to fill the small building, the warm aroma countering the lingering smell of mildew and old wood.
  335. >She sat down on the remains of a couch and started to review the notes she had been taking on the trip there and back.
  336. "You want some?"
  337. >"I'm ok."
  338. >You shrugged and took a slice for yourself, leaving the box half open in case she changed her mind.
  339. >As you ate, you surveyed the inside the house a little more thoroughly than before, trying to figure out exactly where to begin.
  340. >The floors creaked and whined with every step, as if to give you a big hint.
  341. "I'm going to have to get rid of all this carpet and check the floor underneath. No telling how damaged it is from the leaky roof."
  342. >"Sounfs goof, Amoms"
  343. >You peaked behind you and Moondancer was holding a half eaten slice of pizza with her magic while she made corrections to her parchments.
  344. >That didn't take long, you thought, and smiled.
  345. "This is good stuff, thanks for pointing it out."
  346. >"Don't mention it. I remember spending more than a few nights there cramming for exams. Princess Celestia took us all there when we were fillies."
  347. >Moondancer started to giggle.
  348. >You expected her to continue and explain what was so funny but, no such luck.
  349. "Why's that funny?"
  350. >"Huh? Oh, oh right! I was remembering when I went there at night and Celestia nearly knocked me over. She had two boxes packed full of breadsticks!"
  351. "Must have been a rough night."
  352. >Moondancer grinned at you.
  353. >You grinned back and found yourself staring a little too long.
  354. >Her notes began to rise a tad to hid her face.
  355. >"I...umm...she looked busy, yes."
  356. >You tried not to chuckle at how quickly she could act cute and went back to inspecting the house more.
  357. >When you got to the room with the leak, you noticed the carpet had already been partially pulled up.
  358. >Deciding to take a look at where any damage would be the worst, you grabbed the end of the carpet and gave it a yank.
  359. >It came up pretty easily, the floorboards underneath were practically mush.
  360. >A giant cloud of god knows what came up with the carpet.
  361. >Mold, dust, who knows?
  362. >You coughed and shook the carpet to try and get the crap out of your face.
  363. >Then quickly darted back into the living room and closed the pizza box in a hurry.
  364. >No way a cloud of house filth was going to ruin your meal!
  365. >"Anon? What the heck are you dooooohhhaaah! Haaashew!!"
  366. >Moondancer sneezed suddenly and a few of her note papers flew about, her magic disrupted.
  367. >She kept her concentration on what was left of her pizza slice, at least.
  368. >Good to see you and her shared the same priorities.
  369. >You started to gather up the papers and bring them back, while explaining why you flew at the pizza box like a ninja.
  370. "Sorry. Was checking the floorboards under the carpet and I kicked up a bunch of--"
  371. >"HAAATCHOOO!!"
  372. >She sneezed again, loudly and uncovered.
  373. >You sidestepped her to get out of the line of fire and placed the papers on the couch.
  374. "--dust and junk. Bless you?"
  375. >"Ugh...my allergies..."
  376. >She rubbed her nose furiously with her hoof, the rims of her nostrils already turning red.
  377. >With a hitched breath and a sniff, she quickly got off the couch and started for the bathroom.
  378. >Unfortunately, that was right into the cloud of dust and who knows what else, and the effects were pretty immediate.
  379. >"Ahhh....Ahh.....huuhhhh!!"
  380. >She fanned her hoof in front of her face as the microscopic particles assaulted her sinuses
  381. >This sneeze was taking a little longer than the last two, and you couldn't help but stare.
  382. >It seems like an odd thing to do, watch someone sneeze, but you weren't really paying attention to that so much as the unintended show she was putting on for you.
  383. >She was facing away from you, and your eyes couldn't help drifting to her ample rear, framed perfectly by her sweater.
  384. >As her head lifted to bring about another nasal explosion, you felt beads of sweat begin to form on your forehead.
  385. >Every little breath made her rear bounce and wiggle, and when she finally released a monster of a sneeze, she bent forward sharply.
  386. >Her tail lifted, and whether she realized it or not, you got quite the view of her backside.
  387. >The entire time you were out you had been so preoccupied with thinking about her house you hadn't really paid attention to what she looked like.
  388. >Never in a million years did you expect her to have such a nice rump.
  389. >She took a few more steps toward the bathroom but another sneeze sneaked up on her and she bent forward even farther.
  390. >Her dock was visible that time, a cream colored puff of fur underneath her long red tail.
  391. >You bit your lip, strategically positing your hands over your crotch.
  392. >Before she could sneeze again, her trot became a gallop and she quickly bolted to the bathroom and slammed the door.
  393. >A few more sneezes came from behind the old door, followed by harsh nose blowing.
  394. >In the meantime, you tried to think of anything other than those cream colored orbs that were wobbling in front of you a few seconds ago.
  395. >How her butt seemed to have that perfect amount of chub on it to make it curvy without going overboard.
  396. >And the way they along with her dock drew your eyes toward--
  397. >No, Anon!
  398. >Focus!
  399. >Don't think about that!
  400. >Think about anything else!
  401. >You had to calm down, how would she react if she came out of the bathroom and saw you trying to hide a hardon?
  402. >You closed your eyes and tried to think about anything else.
  403. >But everytime you heard a muffled sneeze come from the bathroom, a mental picture of Moondancer's plump backside popped back into your mind.
  404. >Just as you were considering sneaking away and leaving a note, the door to the bathroom opened.
  405. >You grabbed the stack of papers and quickly rested them on your lap.
  406. >Moondancer emerged, slowly, rubbing her nose with a pair of tissues.
  407. >Her glasses were behind her horn and her eyes looked reddish and puffy.
  408. >Way to go.
  409. >"Ugh, I'm sorry...I...uhh.....*sniff*...really...ahhhallergic...mold..!"
  410. >She held the tissues to her nose with her magic and turned away from you to blow her nose.
  411. >And there it was again, her rump in full view.
  412. >Her tail blocked most of it but your memory was as fresh as that cooling pizza in the middle of the living room.
  413. "I think...you should come back to my place."
  414. >She turned back to you, slightly confused.
  415. >Smooth.
  416. "I mean...because of all the mold! Spike hooked me up with a hotel room, I can't leave you here you'll be dying from all the mold I just, ya know, disturbed."
  417. >Really smooth
  418. >But she was hardly in a condition to argue, when she raised her hoof to protest her nostrils flared and she sneezed again, so hard that her hairclip came undone and her mane covered her face.
  419. >After another quick run to the bathroom for more Kleenex, she agreed.
  420. >"Let me have my notes."
  421. >Her magic started to pull at them, and you were still very much 'excited' at her recent performance.
  422. "N-no, I'll carry them!"
  423. >You resisted and pulled them tighter to your body.
  424. >"Anon, I'll need to...to....HaeeshooO!!!"
  425. >She sneezed for the who-knows-how-many time and stumbled a little.
  426. >Her glasses nearly fell off her head but her magic seemed to have caught them before they could fall.
  427. "What? Sneeze on them? Come on, I'll take them and the pizza lets get out of here before you blow the house over!"
  428. >She groaned but agreed, but only after sniffling and sneezing her way around collecting quills, ink, and a pile of blank parchment.
  429. >At least when you finally got her outside and walking toward the hotel, her symptoms abated.
  430. "I'm sorry about that, I didn't realize how bad it was in there."
  431. >"I usually keep that room closed."
  432. >She replied, slightly congested, but otherwise back to normal.
  433. >She hadn't bothered to replace her hairclip, so her mane was freely hanging down.
  434. >You wanted to tell her it looked better that way, but things were awkward enough as it is and you didn't think she'd appreciate being hit on.
  435. >"So where are we going?"
  436. "The 'Le Grand' something or other. Spike said Twilight has a spare room there her friends are allowed to use when she's in Canterlot."
  437. >"That's lucky, we can have it all to ourselves and I can finish this research up!"
  438. >Good to see her spirits were returning as her allergies calmed down.
  439. "What else is there left for you to do?"
  440. >You motioned toward the sizable stack of papers sitting on top of the pizza box.
  441. >"Oh, a few more questions, plus I have to edit it all and...ummm.."
  442. >She looked away, slightly embarrassed.
  443. >"An...anatomy sketch...heh..heh..."
  444. >Crazy how a few hours ago she wanted your clothes off.
  445. >Now the thought has her flustered.
  446. >Maybe you weren't the only one who started looking at the other a little differently?
  447. "I'll...see what I can do there. It'll be private at least."
  448. >"Yup. Big hotel room all to ourselves."
  449. >Beat.
  450. >"For research!"
  451. "And pizza."
  452. >"Of course!"
  453. >Despite her earlier ailment, she sneaked another slice during the walk.
  454. >As you said before, priorities.
  455. >You got to the hotel without much problem.
  456. >Before you could even say a word to the receptionist, she recognized you and was talking a mile a minute about the amenities and how all of Twilight's friends are comped and etc etc.
  457. >All you heard was don't think twice about running the bill up.
  458. >Moondancer was in a bit of shock herself, coming into somewhere a little fancier than the library with messy mane, an old sweater, and a slice of pizza floating around her head.
  459. >You took the keys, assured the receptionist you'll find your way to your room on your own, and that everythng was great.
  460. >She cleared her throat and held her hoof out.
  461. >Oh, right.
  462. >You fished in the box and put a piece of pizza in her hoof.
  463. >She looked a little shocked, but sighed and said 'thank you' really quietly.
  464. >Classy.
  465. >Moondancer was still giggling about the whole tip joke by the time you reached your room.
  466. >She snatched the keys from your pocket and unlocked the door.
  467. >Both of you did a double take at how big it was.
  468. >Huge bed, desk, dresser, everything.
  469. >Can't even imagine what the bathroom was like.
  470. >As you looked around for a table to set all the stuff down, you noticed there was only one bed.
  471. >Might be on the floor tonight, Anon.
  472. >Least it'll motivate you not to drag your feet with the mold removal.
  473. >"This is amazing, Anon! I should have called Twilight out on being a bad friend sooner!"
  474. >Huh?
  475. >Don't ask, Anon, don't ask.
  476. >"Hey there's a Jacuzzi!!"
  477. "Want your anatomy sketch in there?"
  478. >"ANON!"
  479. >You wish you could have seen her face.
  480. >Oh well.
  481. >You sat in the oversized armchair and relaxed.
  482. >Only thing this room was missing was a giant TV, shame Equestria didn't have that technology yet.
  483. >Then again, it meant you had to pay attention to your suitemate.
  484. >One who you were finding increasingly more endearing since you met.
  485. >Not to mention attractive in the right places.
  486. >...
  487. >Don't think about that right now!
  488. "I'm going to head to the library to get something to read while you do your thing there."
  489. >"Sure thing!"
  490. >Moondancer was already spreading her notes, quills, and other stuff on the desk and firing up the coffee maker.
  491. >She was already engrossed in her material, transposing the chicken scratch of the day's findings onto a more proper set of parchment.
  492. >She had started to hum to herself when you closed the door.
  493. >The hotel library was pretty extensive, mostly fiction but you managed to find a book about general home improvement you could thumb through.
  494. >Moondancer's house was in such a bad state you felt it would be better to brush up on some things.
  495. >You let yourself back in the room, Moondancer still at the desk, quill scratching away.
  496. >Plopping back in the armchair, you started reading.
  497. >Every so often she'd ask you to clarify something or explain some phrase you used that didn't make sense in Equestria.
  498. >At first it was informal bits of information but as the night settled in you two became a lot more open and friendly.
  499. >You moved from the chair to the bed, and she took the chair, her hooves dangling off the armrest as she sat sideways.
  500. >She was particularly excited when you explained to her how computers worked, especially when you told her that every book and encyclopedia every made could be found on there if you looked hard enough.
  501. >It sounded like crazy magic to her, but you did your best to explain it.
  502. >With your own fairly limited knowledge on how it worked, you weren't sure how successful you were.
  503. >It didn't really matter, because the entire time she was beaming.
  504. >Wide eyes, big smile, it was beyond cute.
  505. >"That is quite incredible, Anon. I hope someday we figure out how to go to your world and see all these things!"
  506. >You smiled and gestured to her parchment.
  507. >The last hour she hadn't taken many notes, she had been so engrossed in your tales of home.
  508. "You need me to repeat anything? For the report?"
  509. >"Huh....oh, OH! Right! Umm, no that's not really what you put in that. It's more about being able to identify and how to approach humans. Not so much where they come from."
  510. "I see. Well, what else do you need? I like hearing about Equestra too, I've been stuck in Ponyville for a long time, Canterlot is definitely a change of scenery."
  511. >"Well...all that's left is..."
  512. >She blushed and cleared her throat.
  513. >Oh right.
  514. >That.
  515. >"You don't have to, I'm sure I could estimate your proportions based on how you look when you're clothed..."
  516. >She dangled a hoof and looked to the floor.
  517. >Nice try, little pony.
  518. "I have an idea."
  519. >You slid off the bed and stood up, stretching a little.
  520. >Her eyes followed you, curious where you were going.
  521. "Let's trade."
  522. >"Trade?"
  523. "You want my shirt off? Lose the sweater."
  524. >She coughed and nearly fell off the armchair.
  525. >"Anon! I...I mean I...my sweater?! Why I'm just a normal pony underneath and...and I--"
  526. >She stammered and you undid the top button of your work shirt.
  527. "Come on, Moonie. If I'm going to be a specimen at least make it fun, ya know?"
  528. >She swallowed and bit her lip.
  529. >You undid another button.
  530. "Deal?"
  531. >"O-ok. I...here goes!"
  532. >It was a little silly that she would be so embarrassed to take her sweater off.
  533. >Ponies usually walked around naked.
  534. >But the way she acted earlier when you asked about it, you knew it had to be some kind of security blanket for her.
  535. >You figured if she was willing to set that aside maybe you'd be a little less worried about standing there while she used you as a living anatomy book.
  536. >Her magic gently enveloped the sweater and slowly pulled it up.
  537. >Her head became lost in the black wool as it lifted up and over her head.
  538. >Mane now a little messy from the static as the back of her head reappeared from the bottom of the wool, she shook her head to get it the rest of the way.
  539. >Lifting her forehooves slightly, she pulled the sweater the rest of the way and let it drop to the ground.
  540. >She was looking away, clearly nervous, clearly not aware of how skillful she was with her magic to get that bulky thing off without knocking her glasses off.
  541. >You took this moment to look her body, no longer hidden by the baggy garment.
  542. >She was pretty, but plain looking, her cream colored fur covering her body.
  543. >You could see where she was a little chubby, symptom of all the time spent in the library, curvy around where her back legs met her body, and a little bit of a tummy.
  544. >Otherwise, you couldn't see a single reason why she would hide her body, and even the little extra padding accentuated the parts of her that most ponies prided.
  545. >Even so, she was practically shaking from being so exposed, so you made sure not to let the silence get too uncomfortable.
  546. "You're a very pretty mare."
  547. >"Anon! Quit it!"
  548. >A pillow hit you in the head before you could follow up.
  549. >"Your turn, get to it!"
  550. >She had her 'angry eyes' again, but she was smirking and trying her best to use her parchment to stop you from looking anymore.
  551. >Deal's a deal, right?
  552. >You unbuttoned your shirt quickly, not looking to be an awkward stripper, and tossed it aside.
  553. >Your undershirt came next, and with one quick motion you pulled it off and let it fall to the ground.
  554. >Half naked now, you opened and closed your arms and spun around slowly.
  555. >You weren't a /fit/izen by any means, but months of working with your hands, hauling equipment around, walking everywhere, and eating tons of vegetables and eggs had quite the positive effect on your body.
  556. >You still had a bit of paunch in your middle and you were hardly cut, but your shoulders were broad and your chest and back looked a lot more manly than they ever had in your life.
  557. >Maybe you wouldn't be too bad of a physical example afterall.
  558. >When you completed your turn, Moondancer seemed to think so.
  559. >She was doing everything short of drooling.
  560. >You resisted the urge to flex and snapped her back to reality.
  561. "This is for science, Moonie."
  562. >"Huh....right, right! Science! And umm...."
  563. >She blushed and looked around guiltily.
  564. >"Science...needs your pants off too."
  565. "Later, you can sketch the top half first, right?"
  566. >"I...yea I guess I could."
  567. "Alright, get to it!"
  568. >You winked and she chuckled.
  569. >Her quill began to scratch at the parchment rapidly and she started telling you to move around, show range of motion and muscle structure, that sort of thing.
  570. >She ended up making you flex anyhow, and you made a point to be a doofus about it.
  571. >After getting hit with another pillow, she resumed her drawings.
  572. "You any good?"
  573. >"Hmm?"
  574. "At drawing, you any good?"
  575. >"Not really. I have a spell that draws what I think and see though, I enchant the quill with it. I'll label all the figures later."
  576. "Can I see?"
  577. >"Sure."
  578. >She stopped and flipped the parchment over.
  579. >It looked like one of those old school zoology books with the fig.s all over the place and arrows showing how things moved and stood.
  580. >You pointed out a few errors, like how the human elbow bends, and she made quick corrections.
  581. >Otherwise though, it was impressive work.
  582. >Made you feel a little more prideful about what you were doing, even if Moondancer was trying her best to hide that she was sweating the whole time.
  583. >Come to think of it, so were you.
  584. "Mind if I open a window?"
  585. >"Sure thing, Anon."
  586. >You get a window open, the cool night breeze hits your body almost immediately.
  587. >Suppressing a shiver, you makes sure the shade stays down.
  588. >No need to give all of Canterlot a show.
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