4chan Hazbin Hotel story: horny dangerous imps

from /hhg/ - Hazbin Hotel General Thread #236
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From the last thread:

>Post Loona
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>The imps are better.
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>Much better.
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>Y'know, sometimes I can see why Stolas is so hard pressed to snap up Blitzo so hungrily. He's a real cutie.
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>Well there's also the fact that he must be an absolute tornado in the sack. Blitzo originally fucked him just to steal that book while he was conked out in the afterglow. His heart probably wasn't really in it. Does Stolas care that he was tricked? Nope. Does he care that he was stolen from? Nope. He's just calling Blitzo up trying to get him back in bed. He was THAT awesome of a lay.
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>>Blitzo has such sexual prowess such that he can make an ARCHDEMON go nuts without putting that much effort into it
>So what your telling me is that Blitzo has the sexual prowess of Kratos.
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>Well, he WAS a circus performer - probably an acrobat.
>Fucker has the stamina, AND the flexibility!
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>>not only cute and sexy
>>fucks like a tiger
>>uses his prowess to get a book
>Good fucking God what happens when he actually gets into it? My money is on temporary paraplegia. Maybe even causing his bedmate to whistle a tune at the lightest breeze between their legs.
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>Oh when he gets passionate then you're going to be looking at broken furniture and noise complaints at the very least. The question is: how the fuck is he still single?
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>Perhaps he's a married-to-the-job type?
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>>No one will ever be able to know the joy of putting a ring on that sex machine

>A true tragedy. Everyone doff your hats.
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>I think he's just not that interested in sex at all, despite being so good at it.
>As for why won't he start a family of his own?
>Well, he clearly sees I.M.P. as his family - and I have the stinging suspicion that his actual family may have been killed, and he's trying to fill the empty space left with his employees - which is why he lives vicariously through them.

Cont.
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>All this blitzo sex-talk makes me wonder what Moxxie's like in bed.
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>Moxxie's gotta be a cuddler for sure. From the way he talks about and interacts with Millie I'd bet he's a bottom.
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>>moxxie feels intimidated by gospel
>>what with his occupation and being a priest
>>and thats not mentioning his own urges to obey the priestly sinner due to his devilish appearance
>>loona saw how moxxie has started acting weird around gospel and made a comment
>>"Holy shit just fuck already."
>>something something moxxie is getting his ass pounded by a very pent up priest while millie gets eaten out at the same time
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>Moxxie is made for sex
>Fight me
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>Nobody's going to argue with that.
>Although, I'd say he's quite handy with a gun as well.
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>>You witness moxxie blow his target's head off
>>He looks frustrated
>>He turns to you and points his gun at you
>>"PANTS OFF NOW!"
>>He sucks you off at gunpoint and them rode you like there was no tomorrow
>>Millie recorded the whole thing
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>imps are all natural sluts

Cont.
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>>mostly uses weapons - long range fighter, patient, knows how to hold his breath, can shoot between two heartbeats
>>easily frustrated, demonstrates little willingness to properly fight back or lash out against others - shows a lot of self-restraint and professionalism
>>even when he isn't getting his nerves chewed on by Blitzo, underneath his stoicism, he's a ball of searing rage and sadistic violence - his wife's own brutality turns him on
>>otherwise a loving husband, vocal and musical talent of great renown
>>deceptively soft, hard muscle underneath from lugging his weapons around, incredibly precise - it's like you rolled together an artist and engineer or doctor - imagine Glaz from R6 Siege
>>many believe he's into roleplay, possibly BDSM, because his wife is such a dom - and he's more than happy to engage in it with her
>>but every once in a while, he shows his true colors - suddenly becoming a powerbottom, or pinning her to the bed with a sudden switch, sometimes just flat out fucking her raw in vanilla, without much foreplay
>>he's very passionate, too, so they always cuddle
>>even if he knows Blitzo (and possibly Loona) are watching them, he doesn't seem to stop - in fact, he'll go out of his way to give his wife the best sex she had (yet), in a dramatic and erotic way, smirking smugly into the camera when she's reduced to a panting mess, before kissing her deeply and passionately - and then going for round two... And three... And four...
>>he likes to imagine that Blitzo's fuming with jealous rage at this point - if he ever bothers to spare a thought about him, as his mind is usually occupied with his wife
>>there's no such thing as casual, stress-relief sex between the two of them - it's always a hot mess of love and romance

>In reality, Blizto's probably just happy for them, and loves to see them in the throes of passion - while casually jerking off
>As does Loona, though, she's actually jealous - not that she would admit that to herself
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>I'm not /k/ommando, but...

>>Moxxie typically preferred Hell-made weapons
>>the many weapons manufacturers that ended up in the inferno ensured that places like Pentagram or Imp City would always be well-stocked with plenty of firearms
>>they were practically tailor-made for the altered and often amorphous physicality of Hell's legions
>>as an imp, one of the lowest-rung daemon races, he was small in stature, and possessed short, yet strong arms that ended in wide hands and naturally claw-like fingers - finding an mortal-made gun that he could comfortably use on the job was difficult
>>still, whenever he could, he'd pick up one or two from "topsides", as the sinners have come to call their old world
>>first thing he ever laid his eyes on that he couldn't leave there was a Dragunov - took it from a fellow sniper, who just so happened to be his target
>>some crazed cannibal somewhere in Siberia, who apparently preyed upon people who'd escape from a place called the "Black Dolphin"
>>he'd picked up quite a number since then, from all over Earth - he couldn't really call himself a collector, though, as most of the guns were only temporarily his own, and he would soon sell them to supplement his paycheck whenever he felt that Blitzo scammed them out of their proper share
>>he knew his boss was an asshole, but what was he going to do? Unionize?
>>...couldn't just shoot him, that wouldn't be right
>>unprofessional

>>...he still kept a couple of guns, of course
>>like the Dragunov - not the first one he took, but one very similar to it - taken from a guard at the "Black Dolphin" - Blitzo was convinced the place was an illicit stripclub for Russia's political elite, but he knew it was a prison
>>easiest bet he had ever one, with a new gun, to boot
>>then, there was the VSSK, the "Mariner", the KSVK, the AWM, the Barrett (which Blitzo insisted he should nickname "Syd"), the Walther, the PSG1...
>>...and the one he was using right now
>>target sighted

Cont.
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>>breathe in, breathe out
>>he's moving in a straight line, no, wait, he's turning
>>breathe in... breathe out...
>>he disappears from time to time, his clothes blending in with the snow
>>breathe in
>>sighted
>>breathe out
>>the cold didn't matter, the dampness didn't matter
>>he's the coldest he'd ever been
>>but the numbness actually helped
>>breathe in
>>he's coming to a tree - a small grave its roots
>>he's stopping
>>breathe... out...
>>take aim
>>he's bending down, placing a bouquet of flowers on the small stone
>>he's getting to half knee - remember, you have to shoot him while standing, as per orders!
>>breathe... out...
>>he finished his prayer
>>he's standing up
>>breathe...
>>taking aim - back of head
>>wait for him to turn around - let him spot the weapon, but not you!
>>in...

>>his head disappeared in a shower of red, along with a good chunk of his torso - the tree behind him snapped in half with a thunderous crack, falling on top of the collapsing body
>>birds flew up in all direction, as the Lahti rocked on it's skis

>>breathe...
>>out...


>>they were paid handsomely - he wasn't
>>but he didn't mind
>>it wasn't the first time he'd shot someone with an anti-tank rifle - he could still recall the beautiful splatter of red that one prime minister's pelvis had made, when it took the full brunt of a Solothurn's 20 mm round
>>legs were flying everywhere, all over the place!
>>his torso even did a pirouette before landing

>>Millie took notice of his good mood - despite their esteemed chief's blabbering about their work, he remained calm
>>for a brief moment, she was worried - last time he saw him in such eerie silence was when someone tried to flirt with her, a couple of days after their wedding
>>Mox went practically feral on the guy - she was fairly certain he didn't survive
>>or if he did, he'd sincerely wish he hadn't - loosing one's genitals would definitely have such an effect on the ol' ego
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>>while the event had both scared and aroused - scaroused? - her, she'd rather not have that type of rage unleashed on their boss
>>she put a gentle hand on his shoulder - and found it strangely relaxed
>>usually, he'd recoil slightly at the slightest touch
>>he just turned his head, and gave her a warm smile, a hand snaking up to rest upon her own, squeezing it
>>she smiled at him... and that was when her gaze slipped down, admiring his suited form - only to arrive at the bulge in his pants
>>a rather large bulge
>>she felt her face flush, and his hand's grip grew tighter
>>looking back up, she could see his now confident, toothy grin, and couldn't help but beam back at him

>>Moxxie preferred firearms - they provided a safe distance from the target for him to work within
>>much cleaner than slashing or bludgeoning - though, it could leave a nice stain
>>but that wasn't the point
>>he was efficient
>>one shot
>>one kill
>>no energy wasted

>>he shot Mollie a lecherous smirk, accompanied by a low, throaty growl
>>he saw her eyes sparkle to life, smile widening

>>one shot, one kill
>>...he needed that stamina, elsewhere

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>If theres one thing all demons enjoy most as a treat, its human cum
>>Tfw ywn get double teamed by moxxie and millie after a particularly bad mission