The Wanderer

Apr 9th, 2017
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  1. This is another fanfic that contains crossovers, but I'll do my best to make it unnecessary to read the other respective stories to enjoy this.
  3. >You are Applebloom, and you and the crusaders are bored out of your minds.
  4. >Back when you were still blank flanks, you had /tons/ of stuff to do!
  5. >You had lists upon lists of activities planned for each day in order to get your cutie marks, and you had a blast doing them.
  6. >But now that you and the girls got your cutie marks, things aren't the same.
  7. >You gonaround helping other blank flanks and what not, but what happens when you get a shortage of people to help?
  8. >Boredom, that's what happens. Luckily, Granny Smith told you about a game she used to play with her friends when she was your age!
  9. >I think she called it...'light as a feather, stiff as a board.'
  10. >Apparently if you chant that phrase while waving your arms around one of your friends, you can get them to float or somthin'!
  12. >SB: "Well, I guess now we know why the game never caught on..."
  13. >Sweetie Belle lay beneath Scootaloo and your hooves while you chant the phrase.
  14. >Sc: "Quiet down, Sweetie Belle, it won't work if you keep talking!"
  15. "I think she might be right, nothin's happenin'..."
  16. >Just then, you feel...vibrations in the air. It's as if the whole playground is shaking...
  17. >The girls feel it too, and all three of you fix your sight near the slide.
  18. >There's a strange heat distortion in the air, with energy coming off of it.
  19. >SB: "W-what /is/ that? What's happening?!"
  21. >The distortion in the air grows more unstable, and you can barely see the slide behind it from how the light is bending.
  22. >Small bolts of lightning crack around the area, and you can feel a pressure.
  23. >You and the girls sit frozen in awe as a figure steps out from the distortion, seemingly from nowhere.
  24. >Before you stands a dragon with blue scales and golden spikes. His horns come out of his forehead and slick back along his head, with one of the points being broken off.
  25. >His face and arms are full of battle scars, and his eyes appear milky and white as if he's blind.
  26. >You can't see his body that well, for he wears a black cape around his shoulders that hides most of his form.
  27. >In his claws he holds a cane with a dragon skull on the end.
  28. >Sc: "I-it's a dragon!"
  29. >The dragon's head quickly turns in your direction. Though he faces you, his eyes stare over your heads into the distance.
  31. >You are the Wanderer, protector of innocents, fighter of evil shadow, a being of five dimensions crawling through the violent maelstrom seeking deliverance.
  32. >And these...ponies, they call you dragon.
  33. "I'm not from this world, I'm not dragon. However, if eyes perceive my presence as dragon, so be it."
  34. >SB: "He speaks Equestrian!"
  35. "More fallacies. This is ears making sense of my tongue, which is nothing more than static."
  36. >AB: "Are you...blind?"
  37. "I live in five dimensions. I see far more than you could imagine."
  39. >You are Applebloom, and you stand in awe of this crazy old dragon before you, along with your fellow crusaders.
  40. >Seemingly done talking with you, his gaze slowly turns around the playground robotically as if those ol' dead eyes could see anything...
  41. >He starts sniffing the air deeply, and a scowl begins to grow in his face.
  42. >You pull the girls close to you and speak in a hushed whisper.
  43. "Uh, girls...this fella is a bit looney!"
  44. >Scootaloo chimes in, but she ignores your implication to be subtle and practically yells.
  45. >Sc: "I think he looks super cool!"
  46. >You lunnge at her and cover her mouth with your hoof.
  47. >You get ready to chastise her but as you do, the 'wanderer' takes a few steps toward the slide to inspect it. The sounds of his footsteps are off, and you looks down to see that one of his lower legs has been replaced with a peg!
  48. >You both let out a hushed 'woah.'
  49. "Ok, he does look pretty cool..."
  50. >It's at this point you hear Sweetie Belle clear her throat behind you.
  51. >SB: "Are we just going to ignore how he just ripped a hole in the air and walked through it? I mean, maybe we should get Twilight..."
  52. >Scootaloo scoffs and rolls her eyes.
  53. >Sc: "You're no fun, Sweetie Belle."
  54. >You were about to put in your two bits, but the stranger turns and begins walking toward you before you can.
  55. >Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle fall silent as he grows nearer, his peg leg seemingly shaking the ground as it thumps into he dirt.
  57. >You have a hard time believing that he can see like he said he can, and you half expected him to just step on you because of how quiet you were being.
  58. >Sure enough, he stops just before you, his head still facing straight ahead rather than looking down on you.
  59. "Children. I smell evil deeds of ignorance, what ritual were you performing?"
  60. >You look to your friends nervously.
  61. "Did...did he just insult us?"
  62. >SB: "I think he wants to know about the game we were playing."
  63. >The Wanderer's booming voice interrupts your thought process.
  64. >W: "Dark magics is no game! Rituals will lead to dark shadows. Is no place for innocence."
  65. >You again look to the girls for an answer, but they're just as confused as you are.
  66. >The Wanderer turns and takes a few steps toward the patch of grass where you were playing and begins tapping on the ground with his cane.
  67. >Within a few taps, smokey black tendrils begin snaking their way out of the ground, and form humanoid shadows on the ground.
  68. >The shadows move around in an agitated manner and soon start moaning menacingly.
  69. >Sweetie Belle screams and backs away as far as she can before her back hits some more playground equipment.
  70. >You aren't far behind her, you grab Scootaloo and try and drag her away but she's to enthralled in whatever nonsense is taking place.
  71. >The shadows surround the Wanderer in a circle and begin moving in for some kind of attack.
  72. "You attempt at my life like shades from popular '90's Earth movie, This will not work."
  73. >He grips the head of his cane and shifts into some kind of combat stance.
  74. >With a twist of the handle and one swift strike, he removes a blade from the body of his cane and slashes the creatures.
  75. >You are blinded as a bright light shines off of the blade and erases the shadows from your sight.
  76. >When he replaces the blade in its sheath, the shades are nowhere to be seen, and Scootaloo is clapping her hooves and cheering wildly.
  78. >In the midst of Scootaloo's cheering, you hear Sweetie Belle almost losing her mind.
  79. >SB: "What in the world was that?!"
  80. >Her voice has never squeaked this much before.
  81. >You rush to Sweetie Belle's side and keep her from hyperventilating.
  82. "Relax! Whatever those things were, they're gone now!"
  83. >You almost get her calmed down, but just as she regains her composure, Scootaloo startles her with a show of excitement.
  84. >She runs up to you, stands on her hind legs and pantomimes the Wanderer's fight.
  85. >Sc: "Did you see that?! He was all- 'whooosh!' And he took out all of those things in one swing!"
  86. >Her reenactment is interrupted by the Wanderer's booming voice.
  87. >W: "Rejoice in the fall of darkness, but no celebration. This not over..."
  88. >You feel your words failing you as you talk to him.
  89. "Y-you mean...there's m-more?"
  90. >You hear an excited gasp from Scootaloo beside you.
  91. >Sc: "We should get Rainbow Dash! She could help fight!"
  92. >You shoot her a disapproving look.
  93. "What we /need/ to do is take him to Twilight. She'll know howta stop this."
  94. >Scootaloo drops her head and lets out a sigh.
  95. >Sc: "yeah...I guess..."
  96. >W: "This Twilight. Is she also stalwart defender of light? A warrior of absolution? A herald of justice?!"
  97. >Sc: "That sounds more like Rainbow Dash, but Twilight is pretty good too."
  98. >W: "Lead me to paladins children."
  99. >Scootaloo flashes you a toothy grin as she brushes past you and leads the Wanderer to Twilight'a castle.
  100. >SB: "But wait, why would a silly game that Granny Smith used to play summon monsters? She wouldn't have told us about it if she knew what it did..."
  102. >You are Asmod, Inkclaw, the Mad Scholar, and most importantly: the draconic Dean of The Academy of Evil!
  103. >...Not your best work when it comes to names, but the actions of the academy matter more than its name.
  104. >You lift your head up from the paper you had been writing all morning and take in your new office.
  105. >You had it made to your specifications, with amenities from Earth to make it look like it was from their 1950's era. You always did like their style...
  106. >You also had a special solid gold name tag for your desk. Dragons still have to have their treasures after all.
  107. >The light from your window gleams off of the gold, and shines against your pitch black scales that aren't covered by your tattered robe.
  108. >Yoy were going to trade your robes in for something nicer, but you don't want to forget where you came from...
  109. >Speaking of that, you catch a glimpse of a small reflection of yourself in the gold. Your two broken horns stand out to you in particular.
  110. >Maybe you'll get them fixed one day...
  111. >You lean back in your seat and admire the numerous awards that hang around your office. You're almost running out of wall space, but you don't want to take down your motivational posters.
  112. >You especially enjoy the poster of a monster putting a cat in a tree, with bold text at the bottom that reads: "Enjoy the little things."
  113. >You'll have to take one of them down to make room for your newest awards however.
  114. >You lean down and pick up a box next to your desk with a stack of plaques in it.
  115. >'most competent villain,' 'Teacher of the year,' 'most Earth felonies committed in one hour,' 'Best use of an evil league to date.'
  116. >You set the box on your desk and stand up from your chair, walking over to the window with your arms behind your back.
  117. >You stare out at the massive campus and admire your achievements.
  118. >You think back to how it all started...
  120. >It was Skip, your little kobold minion...
  121. >You out a lot of faith in him and even gave him simple tasks, and he still failed you in the end.
  122. >As you read about the tyrants of history and even journeyed to far away places and experienced some similar things yourself, you grew increasingly tired with the incompetence of minions in general.
  123. >You had the chaos deity Discord in captivity, but you released him on the condition that he give you a portal to other worlds. Thus began your true adventures...
  124. >It wasn't long before you realized that it wasn't /just/ the minions, but villains as a whole who made so many needless mistakes throughout the many dimensions you visited.
  125. >You dreamed of a world where you could team up with like-minded individuals, and have them pull their own weight...
  126. >So you laid the groundwork for an institution that would take the best of the best, and train the less...mentally fortunate.
  127. >You made classes for marksmanship, that they may actually hit their targets. You made speech classes, to shorten up a few monologues to five minutes at most, but mainly to encourage the villain to take the kill if they have it. The most important addition has to be the minion boot camp, so villains can employ cheap labor like goblins and kobolds and get more bang for their buck. Anger management and rehab facilities have been put in place as well, all toward the goal of generally more competent evil-doers.
  128. >You look down to the firing range as a number of students fire upon a still-standing 'good-guy' dummy and miss every shot.
  129. >You let out a satisfied sigh.
  130. "They'll learn...eventually."
  132. >Your contemplative silence is broken by a knock at your office door.
  133. >You beckon your visitor inside, and in walks another one of your kobold minions.
  134. >'Wick,' 'Wicks,' 'Wax?' You'll be honest, you don't even remember his name...
  135. >He never got the chance to prove his worth before all of this started, but you threw him into the classes anyway just to be sure he was worthy.
  136. >You greet him, turning only your head away from your window.
  137. "Greetings....wax?"
  138. >Your minion kneels before you.
  139. >"Lord Asmod, I bring news about your latest experiment."
  140. >Hey, you must have guessed his name right!
  141. "You'll have to be more specific, Wax, I run many experiments these days."
  142. >Wa: "The new changes you made to ritual requirements...for those shades."
  143. >You bring one of your hands below your chin and try recalling.
  144. >Bits and pieces come back to you. You step away from the window and return to your desk.
  145. >Sifting through the pile of papers on your desk, you eventually come across a small folder with some runes on the cover.
  146. >It all comes back to you as you read the opening pages.
  147. "Ah, yes, I remember now. The ritual required to summon those shades was far to complicated. It required Latin verses, arcane circles and a blood offering! They only ever got summoned by adolescents who found a damned book somewhere, so I told them to make the requirements to summon them a lot more relaxed..."
  148. >Wa: "Well, it appears they've chosen an old children's game for their new ritual, and-"
  149. "No no no, must I hold everyone's hand? If you target /only/ children, you will have monster hunters on you in no time! Send them back to me at once!"
  150. >Wax suddenly becomes quiet and he refuses to look in your direction.
  151. >Wa: "That's the thing...they've been vanquished."
  152. "WHAT?!"
  153. >You shoot up from your desk, and Wax shrinks away from you.
  154. >Wa: "P-please, don't kill me!"
  155. >You let out an exasperated sigh, and just seethe until you don't see red anymore.
  157. >You ball up your fists and try to refrain from smashing them into your desk.
  158. >'Remember the anger management classes. Villains are a lot more efficient when they have a clear head...and don't destroy their own things.'
  159. >Wax is still cowering in the corner as you talk yourself down.
  160. "Remember what I've been teaching: You should never needlessly kill your own henchmen, it's a waste of resources."
  161. >Wa: "'re not going to hurt me?"
  162. >Your patience is still thin with these kobolds.
  163. "Just...tell me what happened."
  164. >Wa: "It wasn't me who saw it, it was Wax."
  165. >Wait, what?
  166. "Aren't /you/ Wax?"
  167. >Wa: "Um, no...I'm Grub. Minion boot camp trained us to not be concerned with names, as we will probably not be specially rewarded anyway..."
  168. >Whoops.
  169. "Right. Villain classes teaches you to reward your servants so they remain loyal. It creates a perfect balance of 'expect nothing, and be pleasantly surprised' within the master-minion relationship."
  170. >Unless, of course, the master forgets the minion's identity all together...
  171. >Maybe you should go back to teaching for a while, all this time away from the classroom has made you forget some of the most important lessons.
  172. "Anyway...'Grub,' what did Wax see?"
  173. >G: "He was on a mission to steal the flowers from around the schoolyard, so we could 'take all of the color away from their youth,' just like one of the masters instructed him to. He says he say three children in the playground, they must have been doing that ritual!"
  174. "Yes yes, but how were they defeated?!"
  175. >G: "He claims to have seen a cloaked dragon banish them with a weapon of some kind!"
  176. >You feel a familiar rage build up within you, and you again find yourself thinkin of your anger management.
  177. "A cloaked...dragon?! I have had just about enough of those pony-friendly fiends! Bring Wax to me, I'll show him a lineup of dragons that could be responsible. Once he fingers them, we'll hunt them down!"
  178. >G: "W-wax...Wax was blinded by the light of the dragon's weapon..."
  180. >You let out an involuntary growl and fire comes spewing from your mouth.
  181. >G: "It's ok, master! We can just ask him about the dragon's appearance!"
  182. "No. If we rely upon a /kobold's/ descriptive skills, we will end up looking for a ram instead of a dragon!"
  183. >G: "What would you have me do, lord Asmod?"
  184. "Fetch me my records, I'll have to profile this myself. There's a few dragons in that area that have been thorns in my side in particular."
  185. >G: "...And what of Wax? It's clear he is no longer of use to you or his other master."
  186. "I'll write up some transfer papers, he can still serve a purpose yet. Give him a sword, some spiked armor and throw him on the front lines or maybe a gladiator pit. He doesn't need his sight to swing wildly. Maybe Drill Sergeant Ander could use him for a few lessons..."
  187. >You sift through the stacks of paper on your desk and come across the form you're looking for.
  188. >G: "I'll get on it right away!"
  189. >As you begin to write, Grub makes his way toward the door.
  190. "Wait."
  191. >He freezes immediately and spins around to face you rigidly.
  192. >Before he can respond you flip a golden coin over to him and he eagerly catches it.
  193. >You dismiss him and he runs off excitedly.
  194. >Goblin Bucks, the currency of the minions. If they trade in ten thousand they get a big stuffed teddy bear...
  195. >Now, where were you? Ah yes, transferring Wax to a more appropriate master.
  197. >You are Applebloom, and you are walking beside Sweetie Belle as Scootaloo leads the Wanderer to Twilight's castle ahead of you.
  198. >Scootaloo hasn't stopped talkin ever since the Wanderer agreed to come with you.
  199. >She jumps around and pretends to fight monsters while she praises him and leads the group toward your destination.
  200. >SB: "She knows he can't see right?"
  201. >You don't answer. You're also focused on your new friend, but for a different reason.
  202. >Before when he walked, you only heard the intimidating thump of his peg leg, but now you hear a strange sound that accompanies his movement. It's almost like a distorted ripping noise, and every now and then small bolts of lightning discharge at random areas around him.
  203. "What's goin on with you?"
  204. >You didn't mean for it to come out so...bluntly, but you can't take it back now.
  205. >He turns his head slightly as if to acknowledge your voice, but his eyes don't move.
  206. >W: "my presence is like tear into reality. Do not focus on me to much."
  207. "Well that's...terrifying."
  208. >Sc: "It's awesome!"
  209. >You and Sweetie Belle share a frustrated glance and keep walking.
  210. >Eventually you arrive at the castle and knock on the door.
  211. >Spike answers and looks rather surprised to see the mysterious figure accompanying you.
  212. >S: "H-hey, guys, who's your new...friend?"
  213. "We don't know. We were hopin' Twilight could tell us."
  214. >Spike opens the door all the way and steps aside so you can enter.
  215. >Spike eyes the Wanderer nervously as he steps through the door, and he cringed when he sees his leg.
  216. >S: "I'll go get Twilight. Just wait for her in the kitchen and I'll make some tea."
  217. >Spike runs off into the depths of the castle and you lead your little group to toward the kitchen, flinching at each contact the Wanderer's leg makes against the crystalline floor. The echoing almost drives you crazy.
  219. >You are Tonic. Tonic the dragon.
  220. >You woke up here, in Equestria, a few weeks ago after your apparent death.
  221. >The details of settling in as a new resident dragon in ponyville as well as getting used to being a female is a story for another time. For now, all that matters is the damn near perfect omelette sitting on the table in front of you.
  222. >This work of art was made by none other than Jazz...the other dragon.
  223. >That's right, theres /more/. You remember the days when you used to be a special snowflake, and then out of nowhere there was an influx of dragons.
  224. >The strange part? Most of them were humans as well. Not all of them died like you did, which only creates more questions about how they got here.
  225. >You remember seeing the show when you were still a human, and you don't recall anything like this ever happening before. Something is definitely going on in the grand scheme of things.
  226. >Maybe someone is messing around with dimensions or some shit. Hey, it's not like you were a scientist, you don't have any real theories.
  227. >You've become good friends with Discord during your time here as well, and you're certain that it isn't him. He has taken a large interest in the sudden appearance of so many dragons because of the chaos it creates, but he's only taken credit for Jazz...
  228. >He knows more than he's letting on, like he always does, but you believe him.
  229. >You've met a few of the dragons before, and none of them seem inherently evil or anything. Most of them live in town, one of them is all the way in canterlot, and Twilight let you and Jazz stay in her castle.
  231. >Jazz is a strange one. His slicked back horns and Mohawk-like fin on his head, coupled with his smokey black scales make him look like a regular badass.
  232. >His skill set, however, tells a different story.
  233. >Back when he was a human, he was a, with the playing cards and shit. He tells you that he was renowned as one of the best, but you've learned by now that he's a master of bullshit.
  234. >When Discord offered him a taste of real magic, he couldn't resist, and Discord made him into a dragon with an uncanny ability to cook.
  235. >Now he walks around in a Dracula cape blowing ponies' minds with magic tricks because the residents of Equestria are unfamiliar with such things.
  236. >They might get a small taste from Trixie, but at the risk of giving him credit, you have to admit that he's much better than her.
  237. >Leave it to Discord to bring such a strange guy here.
  238. >He's a showboating dexterous magician with a PhD in tall tales...and he's actually kind of charming in a way.
  239. >You're all too focused on devouring the omelette he made for you. The hunger driven spell on you is lifted when Jazz catches your attention by sliding a glass of orange juice across the table to you and giving a bow.
  240. >J: "Are you even tasting it?"
  241. >You lean back in your chair and give him a smug grin.
  242. "It's alright, but I've had better..."
  243. >He chuckles softly and crosses his arms.
  244. >J: "Is that why you were practically attacking your plate? Admit it, it's the best you've ever had."
  245. >You go back to eating, but go about it in a more reserved manner.
  246. "It's alright..."
  248. >J: "You know, I can make more than just omelettes. I can find a way to make anything you want, you just gotta let me take you on a date..."
  249. >Yeah, right. In his dreams.
  250. >You just huff in response.
  251. >J: "Oh come on now, I can be quite the romantic! We'll go out on the town to the most happening places, and then we can retire back here where I'll make you any kind of dinner you want!"
  252. >You just stare at him blankly as you continue eating.
  253. >J: "Well I gotta have /something/ to do this weekend! Maybe I'll take my offer to that pretty dragon over in Canterlot..."
  254. >You set down your fork and narrow your eyes at him.
  255. "Do you want your next words to be intelligent, or do you wanna say them outside?"
  256. >He raises his hands defensively.
  257. >J: "What?! I'm just thinking maybe she'd like to have some fun with me. That way we both win: I leave you alone, and I get to go on a date with an even prettier dragon than y-"
  258. >He suddenly pauses as you let out an incredulous gasp.
  259. >J: "Hey, relax! I was kidding!"
  260. >You puff your chest out and shoot a torrent of bright blue flames out of your mouth at his precious cape, but when the smoke clears his cape is still intact, and he retorts with a guffaw.
  261. >J: "Hah! I got a flame proof cape from Discord after /last/ week!"
  262. >Your mind goes to work trying to think of other ways to make him pay, but you're distracted by a sound coming from down the hall.
  263. >Both of you realize it at the same time, and turn to the doorway expectantly.
  264. >It's a loud thumping sound that resonates down the hall to the point that you have a hard time telling how far away it is, but you know it's getting closer.
  265. >J: "What is that?"
  266. "I guess we're about to find out..."
  268. >The noise becomes less of an echo, and you can tell that whatever it is, it's almost to the doorway to the kitchen.
  269. >You are put at ease slightly because you begin to hear the sound of hooves along with it.
  270. >Applebloom suddenly comes through the door and pauses for a second as she realizes your presence.
  271. >AB: "Oh, uh...hey Tonic. Maybe you or Jazz could help us too."
  272. >You raise an eyebrow at her.
  273. "Help you with what?"
  274. >Not a second later, a rather large and imposing dragon steps through the doorway, along with the remaining two crusaders.
  275. >Another one?!
  276. >This one looks nothing like the rest of you. He's old, he has clothing and accessories, and he's covered with scars. He's even missing a leg! That must've been the noise you heard...
  277. >He must have here for a while, he's seen some shit. He must be a born dragon then! But if that's the case, why is he here...and why is he being escorted by the crusaders?!
  278. >You look down at Applebloom, he stares at you expectantly, then you shift your gaze back to the dragon.
  279. "A-alright, why don't we go over in the corner and you can tell me what this is all about."
  280. >You look over to Jazz, who is just staring at the stranger, presumably at his leg.
  281. "Jazz, why don't you show our new friend one of your tricks while I talk to Applebloom?"
  282. >He turns to you with a puzzled look.
  283. >J: "I have tricks for limited vision, but I doubt he can see /anything/, let alone colors..."
  284. >You hear the stranger speak up for the first time and address Jazz. His voice is damn near indescribable. It's stern and booming, but it also sounds like there's a layer of static behind a white noise.
  285. >W: "The colors I see could destroy your mind."
  286. >J: "....Riiiight. Well, I may have a few tricks for you then."
  287. >Jazz reaches for his playing cards while you and the crusaders move to the corner of the room.
  289. >When you get out of earshot, you stop and kneel down to their level.
  290. "What. Did. You. Do."
  291. >Sweetie bell starts in with her squeaking.
  292. >SB: "It wasn't our fault! Well, maybe it was, but nothing bad happened!"
  293. >Sc: "You should've been there! It was so cool!"
  294. >AB: "We didn't know what was gonna happen!"
  295. >You put your hand up to silence them.
  296. "One at a time, please!"
  297. >You point to Applebloom.
  298. "You. Start talking."
  299. >She takes a deep breath and begins her tale.
  300. >AB: "Me and the girls were playin' a game that granny taught us when suddenly that dragon over there teleports onto the playground outa nowhere! He calls himself 'The Wanderer' and he fights evil things! The game we were playin' summoned monsters that he saved us from, so we brought him here to get some answers!"
  301. >Needless to say, you're flabbergasted by the the shit that just came out of her mouth.
  302. "What...what the fuck kinda games is your granny teaching you?"
  303. >Applebloom just shrugs.
  304. "Whatever. What about this Wanderer guy? Do you know anything about him?"
  305. >Sc: "Just that he's super cool and really like saying 'darkness' and 'shadows.'"
  306. "So a random dragon 'teleports' to you and starts calling himself the Wanderer, so you just run off with him? Don't you little shits know anything about stranger danger?"
  307. >SB: "Stranger...what?"
  308. >You groan and slide your hand down your face.
  309. "Look, don't do that shit. We gotta find Twilight so she can send him back to the dragon lands or something..."
  310. >AB: "But he's not from there! He said that he traveled to our world from somewhere else!"
  311. >You look past the fillies in front of you to examine the Wanderer again. There's an aura of haziness around him and...did he just discharge a small lightning bolt?!
  313. >You think about all of the other dragons that got thrown into Equestria alongside you.
  314. >A crazy Brit, a fucking magician, a parkour graffiti artist, an English major, a condescending alcoholic scientist...and now, this.
  315. >You almost begin to well up with tears.
  316. "Why are they all train wrecks...?"
  317. >The girls give you confused looks.
  318. >AB: "What are you talkin' about?"
  319. "Why are all of these dragons crazy! I'm the only sane fucker here!"
  320. >SB: "That's not true, there's still Spike..."
  321. "I'm the only one..."
  322. >You stand up and make your way over to him.
  323. >Jazz is still working on one of his tricks. He looks amazed that the Wanderer can even see his movements.
  324. >Jazz fans out the deck and presents it to the Wanderer.
  325. >J: "Don't see your card in the deck do you? That's because..."
  326. >He reaches up and pulls a card from behind one of his horns.
  327. >J: "...It's right here!"
  328. >The Wanderer's face remains stoic.
  329. >W: "You are quick one, but I see what you did there. You simply-"
  330. >Jazz goes into a full panic as he tries to keep him from revealing his secret.
  331. >J: "Hey hey hey, magicians never reveal their secrets!"
  332. >W: "I'm no magician, I will reveal for you."
  333. >J: "No, people can't know my secrets! It'll ruin my tricks!"
  334. >W: "Tricks? That must mean you practice deceptive fighting style. You could use knavery against shadows?"
  335. >J: "...I don't know what that means, but if I say yes will you keep your mouth shut?"
  336. >W: "I would not compromise brother in arms."
  337. >Before Jazz can say anything else, Twilight walks into the room with Spike.
  338. >The Wanderer turns to look at her...with his dead milky eyes.
  339. >W: "You must be the paladin. I've been waiting."
  340. >He walks toward her, leaving Jazz with a puzzled look on his face.
  341. >J: "Did...did he just recruit me?"
  343. >You leave Jazz to his thoughts and join the conversation happening between Twilight and the Wanderer.
  344. "I just got quite the story from the girls, you're not going to believe this..."
  345. >T: "Hold that thought, Tonic, when Slike came to get me I requested a second opinion from a friend. She should be here shortly, then we can figure this out."
  346. >Oh, Jesus. You know exactly who she's talking about.
  347. "This friend wouldn't happen to be red, black, and possibly buzzed would they?"
  348. >Twilight begins to look guilty.
  349. >T: "'s Flamel. But she could be a big help in this situation! What's your problem with her anyway?"
  350. >Flamel: The red and black speckled science drake. She was supposedly a scientist back on Earth who studied the multiverse theory. She made a teleported of sorts and risked her life to get here so she could live a life of fantasy and wonder.
  351. >She's not a bad person per se, but she has a drinking problem that she thinks you don't know about. You're also pretty sure she's in the beginning stages of narcissism...
  352. "My problem is that she only views me as 'the dragon who invented coffee.' Other than that, she always makes me her Watson when she's working on something."
  353. >T: "There's nothing wrong with that. She acknowledges your accomplishments and likes spending time with you..."
  354. >She trails off when she sees your dead pan stare.
  355. "...How did you even find out where she lives anyway? I thought she 'needed privacy for her experiments.'"
  356. >More than likely meaning privacy for her booze cellar. That Daze showed her the cellar she has and she was hooked...
  357. >T: "Well...I don't. I just had Spike send a scroll to her."
  358. >You soon hear a sing-song voice from down the hall.
  359. >F: "Hellooooo?"
  360. >Spike calls to her from the doorway.
  361. >S: "We're in the kitchen!"
  362. >Now you have to mentally prepare yourself.
  364. >You hear hurried footsteps coming down the hall, and Flamel eventually pops into the room, an excited smile on her face.
  365. >Her smile grows even bigger when she sees you.
  366. >F: "If it isn't my favorite little barista!"
  367. >Her eyes shift to Jazz and her smile falters.
  368. >F: "....And magician."
  369. >Jazz fixes the collar on his cape and bows.
  370. >J: "Ah, the beautiful Flamel graces me with her presence yet again."
  371. >Flamel's smile returns, but it's more smug than before.
  372. >F: "Pffft, get outa here, Houdini..."
  373. >She's a little drunk, you can tell. She's usually rather uptight and sarcastic, but when she's drunk she gets more loose and straight forward.
  374. >J: "Still mad that you can't figure out my tricks are we?"
  375. >She glares at him, puffing out smoke from her nostrils, and quickly turns her attention back to you.
  376. >F: "You and I, we don't talk that much anymore! I've been in need of my assistant recently!"
  377. >Your face has remained totally emotionless.
  378. "Well, as fun as that sounds, I can't assist you when no one knows where you live..."
  379. >F: "That's no excuse. I know you can do that trick with the scrolls like Spike, you can at least drop me a line!"
  380. >She reaches up and grabs both of your cheeks with her hands.
  381. >F: "But we're together now, and with you as my Watson, we'll figure this out!"
  382. >J: "You're not going to kiss, are you....are you?"
  383. >Flamel releases you and you almost immediately spin around to smack him.
  384. >You hear Flamel gasp as she finally realizes that the new dragon in question has been in the room the entire time.
  386. >Flamel paces around the Wanderer, inspecting him.
  387. >F: "So this is our new dragon resident...interesting."
  388. >She stops and snaps her claws.
  389. >F: "Tonic- er, Watson! Bring me up to speed!"
  390. >You let out an exasperated sigh and fill her in.
  391. "The girls said they were playing a strange game that summoned monsters. This dragon, he calls himself the Wanderer by the way, he teleported in out of nowhere and defeated them. He claims to be from some other world."
  392. >F: "Well I can believe it. His eyes are obviously dead, but he followed all of my movements...even the silent ones. Some of the scars he has are from sources not commonly found in any injury. Not to mention this distortion around him...that's a bit fucking out there as well..."
  393. >Her look of concentration is replaced by a wide smile.
  394. >F: "This is so exciting! Finally, a mystery worthy of my talents!"
  395. >The Wanderer finally speaks, silencing Flamel. You didn't think anything could do that...
  396. >W: "Is no mystery. I am the Wanderer: follower of the way, but also a pathfinder. Protector of peace, but also fighter of evil. Paladin of-"
  397. >F: "Yeah, whatever, save the zealous dribble for the impressionable children. I want to know what you are, not /what/ you are!"
  398. >W: "Is no simple answer for likes of you. I am elemental of five dimensions. What you see and hear before you is only what your mind makes of my presence. Is odd seeing my scars manifested in such a way, however..."
  399. >Flamel's eyes grow brighter with each word coming out of his mouth.
  400. >F: "You and me, we can learn alot from each other. I'm looking forward to talking with you some more, but I need to go home and get some equipment first!"
  401. >Flamel takes off down the hall, giggling like a school girl.
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