Murder Mystery (2019

1
00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:14,213
Terrific!

2
00:00:34,630 --> 00:00:37,338
So I put my finger here,
and check this...

3
00:00:37,713 --> 00:00:40,088
the watch tells me I have a heart problem.

4
00:00:40,171 --> 00:00:42,088
Wouldn't a mirror tell you the same thing?

5
00:00:42,171 --> 00:00:44,213
Yeah, but this has weather, too.

6
00:00:44,296 --> 00:00:45,296
Okay.

7
00:00:45,505 --> 00:00:47,838
We got an hour until
we're meeting the ladies for dinner.

8
00:00:47,921 --> 00:00:49,189
- Yeah.
- You wanna catch a beer?

9
00:00:49,213 --> 00:00:51,088
I can't. I gotta run a few errands.

10
00:00:51,171 --> 00:00:53,588
What? You don't want a beer? What's wrong?

11
00:00:53,671 --> 00:00:54,671
I...

12
00:00:54,963 --> 00:00:57,671
got the results back
from the detective exam.

13
00:00:57,755 --> 00:01:00,755
You failed again?
This is why I never took that test.

14
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All the anxiety and disappointment.

15
00:01:03,046 --> 00:01:05,755
At some point, you have to realize
you have hit your ceiling

16
00:01:05,838 --> 00:01:07,005
and just give up.

17
00:01:07,088 --> 00:01:09,128
You know, you should go around
and speak at schools.

18
00:01:09,171 --> 00:01:11,963
- That was very inspiring.
- I should. Kids need to hear this shit.

19
00:01:12,046 --> 00:01:13,046
I don't get it, man.

20
00:01:13,130 --> 00:01:15,963
I know all the answers,
I just freeze under pressure.

21
00:01:16,046 --> 00:01:18,505
You know, I can't take the exam
for, like, three more months,

22
00:01:18,588 --> 00:01:20,213
so I gotta continue lying to Audrey.

23
00:01:20,296 --> 00:01:22,005
So when we're at dinner tonight, please,

24
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- tell your wi...
- Ah! No.

25
00:01:23,546 --> 00:01:25,921
Come on, man.
You know I'll lie for you anytime.

26
00:01:26,005 --> 00:01:28,046
I will cover up dead bodies for you.

27
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But if I ask Holly to lie to your wife,
there's no way we're messing around.

28
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It's Freaky Friday!

29
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You don't have to lie,
just tell her to ignore when I'm lying.

30
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That's it.

31
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- Okay, fine.
- Thank you.

32
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You owe me.

33
00:01:41,171 --> 00:01:42,171
See you tonight.

34
00:01:45,296 --> 00:01:47,421
I gotta get Claritin. Claritin.

35
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Oh, my God! Look!

36
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He took her in a helicopter?

37
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My husband won't even pay for Uber Black.

38
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Yeah. I don't even...
I can't even remember the last time

39
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that Nick did anything
even remotely romantic.

40
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I mean, he used to leave me,
like, cute little mixtapes,

41
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little love notes in the bathroom.

42
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Love notes are dead.

43
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When my husband wants to have sex,

44
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,383
he just texts me the eggplant
and doughnut emoji.

45
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Eggplant and doughnut...

46
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Oh. He's the eggplant.

47
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More like a fingerling potato.

48
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It doesn't take that much.

49
00:02:19,338 --> 00:02:21,713
There are guys at the intersection
selling flowers.

50
00:02:21,796 --> 00:02:24,255
You just roll down the window,
grab a bunch, bring 'em home.

51
00:02:24,338 --> 00:02:27,171
- I mean, they couldn't make it any easier.
- No kidding.

52
00:02:27,255 --> 00:02:29,630
I mean, tomorrow
is our 15th wedding anniversary.

53
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I'm still waiting on that trip to Europe
he promised me on our wedding day.

54
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:35,255
- That's been 15 years?
- Yeah.

55
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I could have walked to Europe by now.

56
00:02:37,380 --> 00:02:38,921
You know, you just have to tell him.

57
00:02:39,005 --> 00:02:42,796
I just don't want to have to tell him.
I just want him to know.

58
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,588
- No, they never just know.
- I know.

59
00:02:44,671 --> 00:02:46,814
- That doesn't happen.
- You have to tell men everything.

60
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If you want the dishes to not go
in the sink, you have to tell them.

61
00:02:49,255 --> 00:02:51,175
If you want him to shower
before he comes to bed,

62
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- you have to ask him.
- Ugh.

63
00:02:52,588 --> 00:02:54,963
That's why they have those signs
in bathrooms at restaurants

64
00:02:55,046 --> 00:02:57,046
to tell employees to wash their hands.

65
00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:59,296
Those aren't for women, guys.
Those are for men.

66
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,380
Or maybe you could just text him,
airplane, wine glass,

67
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Italian flag, eggplant,
doughnut, doughnut, doughnut.

68
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Let's go with the 50.

69
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Claritin...

70
00:03:40,213 --> 00:03:41,213
Hi, welcome.

71
00:03:41,796 --> 00:03:42,796
Thank you.

72
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Thanks a lot.

73
00:03:44,505 --> 00:03:47,046
Are you gonna tell 'em
about the stuff in your backpack?

74
00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:49,300
Mind your own business, man.
I'm paying for this.

75
00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:51,713
I like your sneakers.
They must be expensive.

76
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,963
Is that why can't afford
the Monster Energy Drink

77
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or the Flamin' Hot Cheetos?

78
00:03:56,796 --> 00:03:59,046
- Hang on. Hang on.
- Hey, let go of me, man.

79
00:04:01,088 --> 00:04:02,421
I can't believe I was right.

80
00:04:03,088 --> 00:04:05,463
Keep your mouth shut.
I'll mess you up, old man.

81
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,005
Old man. Oh, my God.

82
00:04:07,088 --> 00:04:08,171
First of all,

83
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I should throw you in jail
just for calling me "old man,"

84
00:04:11,713 --> 00:04:13,713
but you bring that stuff back,

85
00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:17,005
I'll let you go 'cause I'm late
for dinner and I'm hungry as shit.

86
00:04:17,296 --> 00:04:18,296
Go ahead.

87
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,296
- Tylenol PM? Am I right?
- No.

88
00:04:23,380 --> 00:04:26,231
It's not good for that.
It depends on what time of year you go.

89
00:04:26,255 --> 00:04:28,055
That makes sense.
Can I get another?

90
00:04:28,296 --> 00:04:29,755
We're gonna have another one?

91
00:04:29,838 --> 00:04:33,463
I'm just saying, we're paying today.
Maybe you can take it easy a little bit.

92
00:04:33,546 --> 00:04:36,046
Hey, hey. Nick. Nick.
What... What's wrong with you?

93
00:04:36,130 --> 00:04:38,796
Sorry. Should I not order
another drink, Detective?

94
00:04:39,421 --> 00:04:40,755
No. Holly, order another drink.

95
00:04:40,838 --> 00:04:43,130
Order as much as you want.
I was joking around.

96
00:04:43,213 --> 00:04:44,481
- That's not funny.
- The reason...

97
00:04:44,505 --> 00:04:47,255
I'm just in a great mood
because I had a great day today.

98
00:04:47,338 --> 00:04:50,189
- Did we have a great day or what?
- It was a fabulous day. Incredible day.

99
00:04:50,213 --> 00:04:52,380
Really? Did you get another hot case?

100
00:04:52,755 --> 00:04:53,588
Of what?

101
00:04:53,671 --> 00:04:55,296
"What."

102
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,796
That was good. No, listen.

103
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,463
Going great, kid. I promise you.

104
00:04:58,546 --> 00:05:00,921
It's like, uh, they're trusting me
more and more,

105
00:05:01,005 --> 00:05:03,213
and I, um, I wish I could tell you
what it was,

106
00:05:03,296 --> 00:05:04,546
but it's... it's confidential.

107
00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:06,421
- Wait a second.
- What?

108
00:05:06,505 --> 00:05:07,630
Oh, my God.

109
00:05:07,713 --> 00:05:09,588
- What is this?
- What is that?

110
00:05:09,671 --> 00:05:12,421
My baby Jimmy got it for me
for my birthday.

111
00:05:12,505 --> 00:05:13,338
- Jimmy!
- What?

112
00:05:13,421 --> 00:05:16,130
- Celebration diamonds.
- Oh, my gosh.

113
00:05:16,213 --> 00:05:17,838
- It's gorgeous!
- Thank you, Audrey.

114
00:05:17,921 --> 00:05:19,481
- Very expensive.
- Wow, Jimmy.

115
00:05:19,921 --> 00:05:22,880
I got you something special.
I promise, you're gonna be very happy.

116
00:05:22,963 --> 00:05:24,255
- Really?
- I can't wait.

117
00:05:24,338 --> 00:05:27,671
See, I would've pegged you, Nick,
as an Amazon gift card kinda guy,

118
00:05:27,755 --> 00:05:29,630
but... I'm no detective.

119
00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:32,755
Hey! You know what, guys?

120
00:05:32,838 --> 00:05:36,546
Let's toast to my friends,
Nick and Audrey.

121
00:05:36,630 --> 00:05:37,963
Fifteen wonderful years.

122
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,046
Absolutely.

123
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,338
- Fifteen.
- Here's to true love, guys.

124
00:05:41,421 --> 00:05:42,255
Fifteen.

125
00:05:42,338 --> 00:05:43,338
- True love.
- Yeah.

126
00:05:50,005 --> 00:05:53,630
Dinner was insane, but that's expected.

127
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,171
But I'll tell you what,

128
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:58,880
I want to record Holly
chewing her ice cubes,

129
00:05:58,963 --> 00:06:01,421
use it as my alarm in the morning.
That's...

130
00:06:01,505 --> 00:06:03,921
Guarantee me of wanting to
wake up and leave.

131
00:06:08,588 --> 00:06:10,796
What's the matter?
You didn't like that joke?

132
00:06:13,171 --> 00:06:14,338
I'm flossing.

133
00:06:14,421 --> 00:06:15,713
I can see that.

134
00:06:16,671 --> 00:06:18,421
You're doing it extra hard tonight.

135
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:22,046
And I'm not sleeping with
the fan on tonight. I hate that sound.

136
00:06:22,463 --> 00:06:24,963
No fan necessary.
We'll crank the AC, babe.

137
00:06:29,463 --> 00:06:30,880
Uh-oh. What, what, what?

138
00:06:30,963 --> 00:06:32,883
You're gonna yell at me?
I can see this. Hang on.

139
00:06:32,921 --> 00:06:34,713
Why don't you do some more angry flossing?

140
00:06:35,546 --> 00:06:37,880
How come we haven't gone to Europe, Nick?

141
00:06:38,796 --> 00:06:40,130
You have to explain this to me.

142
00:06:40,921 --> 00:06:42,005
We never go anywhere.

143
00:06:42,088 --> 00:06:44,921
We travel.
I took you to the Poconos that time.

144
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,255
What? The Poco... That was...

145
00:06:46,338 --> 00:06:47,755
That was for a funeral, Nick.

146
00:06:48,171 --> 00:06:50,630
How about, uh, when we went to Virginia

147
00:06:50,713 --> 00:06:52,963
when my uncle was in a hospice
and we got to see him die?

148
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,630
- We did that.
- Ugh, Nick. Come on.

149
00:06:54,713 --> 00:06:56,171
I'm talking about the postcard.

150
00:06:56,255 --> 00:06:59,338
- You don't remember that?
- I remember it. Of course I remember it.

151
00:06:59,838 --> 00:07:02,921
It's been 15 years, Nick.
I don't know what we're waitin' for.

152
00:07:05,963 --> 00:07:08,546
Now you've gone and done it, Audrey.

153
00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:10,296
What? What'd I do?

154
00:07:12,005 --> 00:07:14,005
I told you I had something big
for you at dinner,

155
00:07:14,088 --> 00:07:16,255
and you couldn't wait till
tomorrow morning?

156
00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:18,588
No.

157
00:07:19,796 --> 00:07:22,005
We're finally going to Europe.
Happy anniversary.

158
00:07:22,588 --> 00:07:25,088
Oh, my God. I have chills.

159
00:07:25,171 --> 00:07:28,005
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

160
00:07:28,088 --> 00:07:30,130
Oh, my God! I'm so...

161
00:07:30,630 --> 00:07:33,130
- I ruined your surprise!
- Shh. You didn't ruin anything.

162
00:07:33,213 --> 00:07:35,255
You're the greatest. You deserve it.
I love you.

163
00:07:35,338 --> 00:07:37,880
- I love you!
- It's still a surprise. I swear.

164
00:07:42,046 --> 00:07:44,921
- We can afford it, right? This is all...
- We can afford it, of course.

165
00:07:45,005 --> 00:07:46,564
- Okay.
- I'm getting my raise this year.

166
00:07:46,588 --> 00:07:48,255
- Right.
- We're all set. Come on.

167
00:07:48,671 --> 00:07:50,046
- Hello. Hi.
- Hello.

168
00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:51,921
So, uh, we are on our honeymoon,

169
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,546
and I was wondering
if we could possibly get an upgrade

170
00:07:54,630 --> 00:07:57,005
because I have miles. Maybe...

171
00:07:57,088 --> 00:08:00,380
I don't even know if it's from
this airline, but do they expire, or...

172
00:08:00,463 --> 00:08:02,630
Sir, you would have needed
to request that in advance.

173
00:08:02,713 --> 00:08:04,353
- Yeah.
- Right this way, please.

174
00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:06,963
- Thank you. I'm so sorry.
- We did try advance. I tried calling.

175
00:08:07,046 --> 00:08:08,921
- And, um, nobody...
- Who'd you call?

176
00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:10,546
- Crazy busy signals.
- Really?

177
00:08:10,630 --> 00:08:12,630
- It's the busy signals!
- Who did you try to call?

178
00:08:16,838 --> 00:08:19,005
I don't want to give it away.
It was the butler.

179
00:08:19,088 --> 00:08:20,463
The butler did it.

180
00:08:21,255 --> 00:08:22,921
It's never the butler who did it.

181
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,671
I don't even think there are butlers.

182
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,921
That's just a word created
for those goofy books you're addicted to.

183
00:08:29,005 --> 00:08:30,963
Would you just please, please shh?

184
00:08:31,046 --> 00:08:34,088
Leave my books alone, okay?
Just let me read.

185
00:08:34,171 --> 00:08:36,213
I just like... Makes me happy.

186
00:08:36,296 --> 00:08:38,171
Are you okay? You're cranky.
Are you bored?

187
00:08:38,255 --> 00:08:40,046
- I'm gonna go to sleep.
- Take a nap.

188
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,228
- Are you okay with that?
- Wait, don't...

189
00:08:42,296 --> 00:08:44,963
But just, please, don't...
don't lay all the way back.

190
00:08:45,546 --> 00:08:46,963
- Don't take it back?
- No.

191
00:08:47,046 --> 00:08:48,796
Why? You don't want
my double chin to show?

192
00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,546
It's not your chins, okay. It's just rude.

193
00:08:51,630 --> 00:08:52,505
Yes.

194
00:08:52,588 --> 00:08:54,228
- Okay. 'Cause you splay out.
- All right.

195
00:08:54,296 --> 00:08:57,421
And then your seat is in, like,
the lap of the guy behind you.

196
00:08:57,505 --> 00:09:00,421
- So just be considerate of everybody.
- I'll stay up. Thank you.

197
00:09:01,255 --> 00:09:02,296
Timber.

198
00:09:11,005 --> 00:09:12,463
Oh, excuse me.

199
00:09:12,546 --> 00:09:13,963
- Hi.
- Hello. Hi.

200
00:09:14,046 --> 00:09:16,546
Could I please have some earplugs?

201
00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:17,630
Yes.

202
00:09:17,671 --> 00:09:18,880
For nine dollars.

203
00:09:19,338 --> 00:09:21,755
Nine dollars? For earplugs?

204
00:09:21,838 --> 00:09:22,838
Yes.

205
00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:24,838
That's okay. I'll just...

206
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:26,630
I'll just use my peanuts.

207
00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:29,380
I'll just...

208
00:09:54,088 --> 00:09:55,088
Wow.

209
00:10:11,296 --> 00:10:12,380
Oh...

210
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:14,880
Mm.

211
00:10:21,963 --> 00:10:23,796
A fellow insomniac, I see.

212
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:24,880
Jesus.

213
00:10:24,963 --> 00:10:26,213
Yes. I...

214
00:10:26,796 --> 00:10:28,588
Yep. I know, right?

215
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,796
I just cannot sleep on these things.

216
00:10:31,046 --> 00:10:32,671
So what brings you across the pond?

217
00:10:32,755 --> 00:10:35,713
Actually, it's my... it's my honeymoon.

218
00:10:35,796 --> 00:10:37,296
Oh. Congratulations.

219
00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:39,171
- Thank you.
- Where's your husband?

220
00:10:39,755 --> 00:10:40,755
Dead.

221
00:10:41,171 --> 00:10:43,713
Asleep. He's dead... dead asleep.

222
00:10:43,796 --> 00:10:45,838
We've actually been married for 15 years,

223
00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:49,338
but we just have been very, very,
very, very busy.

224
00:10:49,588 --> 00:10:52,838
Then a toast to the whirlwind
that is your life.

225
00:10:54,046 --> 00:10:55,088
Yes.

226
00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:56,338
- Sorry, ma'am.
- Oh, yes!

227
00:10:56,421 --> 00:10:58,380
The bar is for
first class passengers only.

228
00:10:58,463 --> 00:11:00,880
Of course. Of course it is.
I'm so sorry, yes.

229
00:11:00,963 --> 00:11:04,130
I will head back to the lower class cabin

230
00:11:04,213 --> 00:11:06,421
and sit where I should and, uh...

231
00:11:06,963 --> 00:11:07,963
shovel some coal.

232
00:11:08,005 --> 00:11:09,130
She's my guest.

233
00:11:09,213 --> 00:11:11,880
Unfortunately, sir,
she'd need her own first class ticket.

234
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,296
Charles Cavendish.

235
00:11:14,463 --> 00:11:15,671
I'm so sorry, sir.

236
00:11:19,588 --> 00:11:20,588
Whoa!

237
00:11:21,505 --> 00:11:22,963
Charles Cavendish?

238
00:11:23,505 --> 00:11:24,421
Is that your real name?

239
00:11:24,505 --> 00:11:26,005
I'm afraid so.

240
00:11:26,088 --> 00:11:28,671
I mean, that sounds like
it just fell right out of a...

241
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:29,921
mystery novel.

242
00:11:30,630 --> 00:11:32,463
And which character would I be?

243
00:11:33,546 --> 00:11:35,880
Name like that,
you'd have to be the bad guy.

244
00:11:37,546 --> 00:11:38,546
Well...

245
00:11:39,213 --> 00:11:40,421
here's to the bad guys.

246
00:11:56,838 --> 00:11:59,088
- Okay, so your fiancée...
- Hm.

247
00:11:59,796 --> 00:12:00,796
...leaves you...

248
00:12:01,796 --> 00:12:05,130
...for your elderly uncle...

249
00:12:05,213 --> 00:12:07,755
Will you two kindly shut up?

250
00:12:07,838 --> 00:12:09,005
Oh, be quiet.

251
00:12:09,505 --> 00:12:12,588
Or we shall tell everyone about the ferret
you've smuggled in here.

252
00:12:14,046 --> 00:12:16,921
The whole thing is tawdry, I know.

253
00:12:17,005 --> 00:12:18,981
- Tawdry.
- He desired my betrothed,

254
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,671
and Uncle Malcolm always gets
what he wants.

255
00:12:21,755 --> 00:12:23,713
Malcolm. Uncle Malcolm.

256
00:12:24,296 --> 00:12:25,338
- Quince.
- Uncle...

257
00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:29,463
Malcolm Quince is your uncle?
That billionaire?

258
00:12:29,796 --> 00:12:31,796
- That's the one.
- Oh, my gosh.

259
00:12:32,546 --> 00:12:34,963
He looks just like this...

260
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,296
if this wrinkled olive had $70 billion.

261
00:12:40,213 --> 00:12:41,546
Seventy billion dollars.

262
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:44,213
I'm traveling to Monaco with the newlyweds
on his yacht

263
00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:45,838
for the Grand Prix this weekend.

264
00:12:46,171 --> 00:12:48,005
Why? Why would you do that?

265
00:12:48,088 --> 00:12:50,328
Why would you go on their yacht
after what they just did?

266
00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:52,296
Because I'm English, Mrs. Spitz.

267
00:12:52,963 --> 00:12:55,171
- I'm a glutton for social masochism.
- Oh.

268
00:12:55,255 --> 00:12:59,880
And I plan on getting blind drunk
and ruining the festivities.

269
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:03,046
Okay. I support that.

270
00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:05,213
- I say, Audrey...
- Hm.

271
00:13:06,255 --> 00:13:08,880
Do you and your husband
have plans this weekend?

272
00:13:13,713 --> 00:13:16,171
You made a joke. That's...

273
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:20,838
Holy shit! This plane has a bar?

274
00:13:20,921 --> 00:13:22,963
Sir, this is the first class lounge.

275
00:13:23,046 --> 00:13:25,005
I'm gonna have to ask you
to return to your seat.

276
00:13:25,088 --> 00:13:26,421
There's bars on planes now?

277
00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:28,421
Planes have bars now. In first class.

278
00:13:28,505 --> 00:13:31,505
This is... Man, I wish my mother was
still alive to see this.

279
00:13:31,588 --> 00:13:33,171
She was an alcoholic, but a nice one.

280
00:13:33,255 --> 00:13:35,772
Sir, if you don't return to your seat,
I'm gonna have to call...

281
00:13:35,796 --> 00:13:36,796
The cops.

282
00:13:37,255 --> 00:13:38,255
So that's my wife

283
00:13:38,296 --> 00:13:41,838
talking to that handsome guy over there
with the one chin.

284
00:13:42,171 --> 00:13:46,046
So I'm gonna go break that shit up,
possibly grab myself a beer,

285
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:47,421
maybe you a Xanax.

286
00:13:49,505 --> 00:13:51,796
...the wine on board is worth a letter.

287
00:13:52,630 --> 00:13:54,796
People don't write letters
anymore, do they?

288
00:13:55,338 --> 00:13:58,421
- Such a pity.
- It's just, it's all so tactical.

289
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,338
Yeah, that's true.

290
00:14:01,796 --> 00:14:02,671
Hey!

291
00:14:02,755 --> 00:14:03,588
Nick.

292
00:14:03,671 --> 00:14:06,380
- How are you?
- Hi, honey. You're awake.

293
00:14:06,838 --> 00:14:08,231
- Was your nappie good?
- Been awake.

294
00:14:08,255 --> 00:14:09,855
- I was looking for you.
- I know, I'm...

295
00:14:09,921 --> 00:14:12,296
- Well, I met this lovely gentleman.
- Oh, yeah?

296
00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:14,755
I'd like you to meet Charles Cavendish.

297
00:14:14,838 --> 00:14:16,421
- He's a lord. Right?
- How do you do?

298
00:14:16,505 --> 00:14:18,588
- A lord?
- Well, actually a viscount.

299
00:14:18,671 --> 00:14:21,088
- Oh.
- Although viscounts are addressed as Lord,

300
00:14:21,171 --> 00:14:23,713
which probably accounts
for the lovely Audrey's confusion.

301
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,921
There you go.
She gets confused with me too.

302
00:14:26,005 --> 00:14:28,546
Sometimes I'm the king.
Sometimes I'm Daddy.

303
00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:31,546
So... can I get a Labatts, brother?

304
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,796
That'll be 17 euro.

305
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,130
No, no, no. Please.

306
00:14:35,213 --> 00:14:36,380
The beer is on me.

307
00:14:36,463 --> 00:14:39,171
I'm not just taking a beer
from somebody I don't know.

308
00:14:39,255 --> 00:14:40,255
Oh, my gosh.

309
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:44,338
And I do hope you take advantage
of my other offer.

310
00:14:44,421 --> 00:14:46,421
Hey. I'm not just gonna stand here

311
00:14:46,505 --> 00:14:49,130
while you offer to pay me
to have sex with my wife.

312
00:14:49,213 --> 00:14:51,213
But out of curiosity,
how much are we talking?

313
00:14:51,296 --> 00:14:52,463
- Great.
- I wouldn't do it.

314
00:14:52,546 --> 00:14:54,171
- Hey, listen to me.
- What?

315
00:14:54,255 --> 00:14:58,130
He is inviting us to spend the weekend
with him on a yacht with his family.

316
00:14:58,213 --> 00:14:59,630
Well, we have plans.

317
00:15:00,088 --> 00:15:01,630
On a bus.

318
00:15:01,713 --> 00:15:05,296
A bus that is bound
for the idyllic village of San Grigio,

319
00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:09,630
where we can watch a demonstration
on how they age ham.

320
00:15:09,713 --> 00:15:11,963
- Let me explain something.
- Tell me what I'm missing.

321
00:15:12,046 --> 00:15:13,086
- Are you kidding me?
- Go.

322
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:16,421
We would be sailing
around European harbors.

323
00:15:16,505 --> 00:15:18,671
- Yeah.
- Okay? We'd be eating fresh fish.

324
00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:20,505
- Right.
- And we'd be drinking wine.

325
00:15:20,588 --> 00:15:21,963
- Hmm.
- We'd be together.

326
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:22,921
That's nice.

327
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,838
- They have a chef.
- They have a chef.

328
00:15:24,921 --> 00:15:26,630
His name is Maurice. Maurice?

329
00:15:26,713 --> 00:15:28,296
- Maurice, yes.
- Maurice.

330
00:15:28,713 --> 00:15:30,546
"Some people call me Maurice."

331
00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:33,380
Remember that one?

332
00:15:34,130 --> 00:15:35,730
- Can I talk to you for a second?
- Sure.

333
00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:37,880
I gotcha.

334
00:15:37,963 --> 00:15:38,963
So listen...

335
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:40,130
What are you doing?

336
00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:43,838
Why would two adults come into a bathroom
on an airplane?

337
00:15:43,921 --> 00:15:46,421
Honey, come on.
To have a private conversation.

338
00:15:46,505 --> 00:15:47,588
Ah, that's funny.

339
00:15:47,671 --> 00:15:49,630
Listen. I'm just trying to understand

340
00:15:49,713 --> 00:15:53,463
why you are turning down
the opportunity of a lifetime.

341
00:15:53,546 --> 00:15:55,171
Because I don't trust that guy.

342
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,671
- Why?
- 'Cause instincts.

343
00:15:57,755 --> 00:15:58,588
Your instincts?

344
00:15:58,671 --> 00:16:01,151
The same ones that told you
you were about to get laid in here?

345
00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:02,505
I'm not getting laid?

346
00:16:02,588 --> 00:16:06,421
Come on! When is the next time you and I
are gonna be able to get on a yacht?

347
00:16:06,505 --> 00:16:09,380
I'm just saying, all those times
we're eating ham sandwiches

348
00:16:09,463 --> 00:16:12,255
and you're always asking,
"How do they age the ham?"

349
00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:14,564
- Never had that...
- We'll never ask that question again

350
00:16:14,588 --> 00:16:16,731
- because we'll be in San Grigio.
- That never happened.

351
00:16:16,755 --> 00:16:19,921
They'll give us the reason
on how they do it so perfectly.

352
00:16:20,421 --> 00:16:21,880
Okay. You wanna know the truth?

353
00:16:21,963 --> 00:16:23,338
- You're breaking my heart.
- Why?

354
00:16:23,421 --> 00:16:24,796
I feel like a schmuck

355
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:28,421
because I've been working my ass off
and saving money, and now you know why.

356
00:16:28,505 --> 00:16:31,088
It was to take us on this trip.
And I know I'm not a duke.

357
00:16:31,171 --> 00:16:33,005
I understand. He's a viscount, but...

358
00:16:33,088 --> 00:16:35,421
- I don't even know what that is.
- I know. It's okay.

359
00:16:36,088 --> 00:16:37,088
I'm sorry.

360
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,005
I love you.

361
00:16:38,088 --> 00:16:40,505
- I got lost. I got swept up in it.
- I know.

362
00:16:40,588 --> 00:16:42,908
But it's okay. We're gonna do the bus.
It's gonna be great.

363
00:16:42,963 --> 00:16:44,683
We'll do the bus.
You're gonna love the bus!

364
00:16:49,338 --> 00:16:53,255
Hey! Hey, Gonzales.
Where is our welcome glass of champagne?

365
00:16:53,338 --> 00:16:55,138
- We were promised...
- Summer hit me!

366
00:16:55,213 --> 00:16:57,173
...a glass of champagne when we arrived...

367
00:16:57,213 --> 00:17:00,380
Zip it! Both of you! Will you stop that?

368
00:17:00,463 --> 00:17:01,963
I know you hear me!

369
00:17:03,296 --> 00:17:04,130
Shut up!

370
00:17:04,213 --> 00:17:05,853
Let's do the... We'll do the yacht, okay?

371
00:17:05,921 --> 00:17:06,963
- Thank you.
- All right.

372
00:17:07,046 --> 00:17:08,380
Cavendish!

373
00:17:08,463 --> 00:17:10,796
We've changed our minds. We're gonna come.

374
00:17:11,255 --> 00:17:12,255
Splendid.

375
00:17:32,838 --> 00:17:34,064
- Hello.
<i>- Bienvenidos.</i>

376
00:17:34,088 --> 00:17:35,463
Thank you.

377
00:17:35,546 --> 00:17:37,130
- Thank you.
<i>- De nada.</i>

378
00:17:37,213 --> 00:17:38,921
- This is amazing.
<i>- Señor.</i>

379
00:17:39,005 --> 00:17:40,421
I thought it was gonna be bigger.

380
00:17:40,505 --> 00:17:41,380
- What?
- I did.

381
00:17:41,463 --> 00:17:43,505
- Bigger than this?
- I really did.

382
00:17:43,838 --> 00:17:46,130
I bet that's Cavendish's ex-fiancée

383
00:17:46,213 --> 00:17:47,963
who left him for his uncle.

384
00:17:48,046 --> 00:17:51,671
Oh, okay.
I'm starving. Where's that Maurice dude?

385
00:17:51,755 --> 00:17:54,296
Uh, I don't think
we're supposed to talk to him directly.

386
00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:56,296
- Let's wait for dinner.
- Which is when?

387
00:17:56,380 --> 00:17:59,338
I don't... Honey, it's later.
I don't know. It's Europe, okay?

388
00:17:59,421 --> 00:18:02,671
The bus observes
a standard American dinnertime, so...

389
00:18:03,130 --> 00:18:05,338
Oh, baby, this is like a painting.

390
00:18:05,421 --> 00:18:07,901
- No, it's nice...
- It just doesn't look real.

391
00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:09,963
- It's...
- Oh, my God!

392
00:18:10,046 --> 00:18:12,046
Wow. Look. She's so pretty.

393
00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:14,050
- Very pretty.
- She's that kind of pretty

394
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:16,338
that you don't really know
what country she's from.

395
00:18:16,421 --> 00:18:18,505
I mean, I can't tell. Can you tell?

396
00:18:18,588 --> 00:18:19,505
Japan.

397
00:18:19,588 --> 00:18:22,463
Ah, yes, yes. You see? See?
She can hear you.

398
00:18:22,546 --> 00:18:24,588
She's not a... not on television right now.

399
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:27,005
- You're watching a real person.
- Shh.

400
00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:29,380
Crashing the party with civilians.

401
00:18:29,463 --> 00:18:30,505
Are you drunk?

402
00:18:30,588 --> 00:18:32,380
It's only noon, Suzi, darling.

403
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,255
Of course I'm drunk.

404
00:18:34,338 --> 00:18:35,588
So, where is your beloved,

405
00:18:35,671 --> 00:18:37,296
Sir Liver Spots?

406
00:18:37,380 --> 00:18:38,588
Malcolm is not here yet.

407
00:18:38,671 --> 00:18:40,463
You know how he likes to make an entrance.

408
00:18:40,838 --> 00:18:44,088
You'd know more about Malcolm's entrances
than anyone at this point.

409
00:18:47,713 --> 00:18:50,353
- Great to meet you. You're terrific.
- Nice to meet you. Pleasure.

410
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,921
I'm sorry you had to see that.

411
00:18:53,005 --> 00:18:55,064
- Actually, I started to like you.
- She deserved that.

412
00:18:55,088 --> 00:18:57,838
- Very good. You came on strong.
- She is not nice. You're hurt.

413
00:18:57,921 --> 00:18:58,755
Charles.

414
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,671
So glad you could make it.

415
00:19:01,255 --> 00:19:03,213
And you brought guests.

416
00:19:03,296 --> 00:19:05,588
Allow me to introduce my cousin, Tobey.

417
00:19:05,671 --> 00:19:08,630
Malcolm's only son
and the man Suzi would have left me for,

418
00:19:08,713 --> 00:19:10,073
had he not been a screaming queen.

419
00:19:10,505 --> 00:19:13,005
- Okay.
- Thank you for having us aboard, sir.

420
00:19:13,088 --> 00:19:14,296
Yeah. Hey, really nice.

421
00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:15,713
It's my father's boat.

422
00:19:15,796 --> 00:19:19,380
Oh, well, her father, uh, let me use
his lawnmower one time,

423
00:19:19,463 --> 00:19:21,505
- so I know how that goes.
- Yeah.

424
00:19:22,921 --> 00:19:24,088
How do you know Charles?

425
00:19:24,171 --> 00:19:26,671
Oh. We go back to six hours ago?

426
00:19:26,755 --> 00:19:28,296
- Yes.
- We met on an airplane.

427
00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:30,005
He was very nice to include us.

428
00:19:30,088 --> 00:19:31,963
We have a spare cabin for them, I assume.

429
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:36,421
Well, seeing as you have so much history,
I'm sure we can find some room.

430
00:19:36,505 --> 00:19:39,064
Thank you. Thanks for the warm welcome.
Appreciate it. After you.

431
00:19:39,088 --> 00:19:41,897
- Up here? This keeps going up?
- Really nice of you. So we go this way?

432
00:19:41,921 --> 00:19:44,338
- Wow.
- There's another deck, hun. Another deck!

433
00:19:44,755 --> 00:19:47,463
"Sex-crazed oldster Malcolm Quince

434
00:19:47,546 --> 00:19:51,838
wed 23-year-old ski instructor
Suzi Nakamura this week."

435
00:19:51,921 --> 00:19:54,338
- Mm-hmm.
- "Why would the Tokyo-born tart

436
00:19:54,421 --> 00:19:56,588
trade downhills for dentures?

437
00:19:56,671 --> 00:20:01,046
Perhaps the $70 billion
his son, Tobey, was set to inherit."

438
00:20:01,130 --> 00:20:02,713
- Wow.
- Oh, my God, baby.

439
00:20:03,213 --> 00:20:06,088
We are literally right in the middle
of a TMZ story.

440
00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:10,296
You were right about this yacht.
Their shaving cream smells like coconuts.

441
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,463
- It's incredible.
- Sorry.

442
00:20:12,546 --> 00:20:14,255
You're allergic to rich people now?

443
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:18,130
No. Stop it! I'm allergic to stuff.
Would you please grab me the Claritin?

444
00:20:18,213 --> 00:20:19,546
Yes. Here.

445
00:20:20,921 --> 00:20:24,130
Baby, that's Allegra.
You said you packed Claritin.

446
00:20:24,213 --> 00:20:25,213
That's the same thing.

447
00:20:25,255 --> 00:20:27,380
No, honey. Allegra doesn't work for me.

448
00:20:27,838 --> 00:20:28,838
Oh.

449
00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:32,838
Okay. When we get to Monaco,
I'll get you your Claritin.

450
00:20:32,921 --> 00:20:35,380
It's not... It's gonna be called
something else over there,

451
00:20:35,463 --> 00:20:38,171
I'm telling you.
Just remember, we... The blue box.

452
00:20:38,255 --> 00:20:42,588
You know, "Allegra" in, uh, French
means the same shit as Claritin.

453
00:20:44,630 --> 00:20:45,755
- Smile.
- Yes.

454
00:20:45,838 --> 00:20:48,380
You need to stop drinking. You're a drunk.

455
00:20:48,463 --> 00:20:49,505
Look at him.

456
00:20:49,588 --> 00:20:52,963
Why is he torturing himself like that?
I mean, she's already married to Malcolm.

457
00:20:53,338 --> 00:20:55,588
I don't know what else
he's expecting her to say to him.

458
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,505
She's saying he's a cad...

459
00:20:57,921 --> 00:20:59,796
...and he's saying she's a tramp,

460
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,046
and they're both right.

461
00:21:01,338 --> 00:21:03,213
How do I know you? You're...

462
00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:04,463
You're an actress, right?

463
00:21:04,546 --> 00:21:06,505
All women are actresses, dear.

464
00:21:06,921 --> 00:21:09,046
I'm just clever enough to get paid for it.

465
00:21:09,630 --> 00:21:10,630
Grace Ballard.

466
00:21:11,088 --> 00:21:12,463
Oh!

467
00:21:12,546 --> 00:21:13,713
My God!

468
00:21:14,213 --> 00:21:17,630
That's... This is incr...
I'm a massive fan of yours!

469
00:21:17,713 --> 00:21:19,713
- Like, number one!
- Oh.

470
00:21:19,796 --> 00:21:21,546
- This isn't...
- I know. It's incredible.

471
00:21:21,630 --> 00:21:25,130
I am Nick Spitz. This is my wife, Allison.

472
00:21:25,213 --> 00:21:27,338
- I can't believe...
- Aud... Audrey. I'm Audrey.

473
00:21:27,421 --> 00:21:28,921
- I said Audrey!
- No, you didn't.

474
00:21:29,005 --> 00:21:31,505
Allison is the character
she played in the...

475
00:21:31,588 --> 00:21:33,880
Remember the one?
We watched it together.

476
00:21:33,963 --> 00:21:36,147
Where it's a beautiful lady,
it turns out she's a robot?

477
00:21:36,171 --> 00:21:37,731
- And there's the bra...
- She's the robot!

478
00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:39,880
- There's guns coming out of your bra.
- Yes!

479
00:21:39,963 --> 00:21:41,963
<i>Sex Machina.</i> My breakout role.

480
00:21:42,046 --> 00:21:45,171
So good.
Look at this, right in front of us!

481
00:21:45,255 --> 00:21:47,338
I feel like I got kicked
in the belly right now!

482
00:21:47,421 --> 00:21:49,255
- Okay. Hey, hey, hey.
- I lost my wind!

483
00:21:49,546 --> 00:21:51,546
Let's go put on some sunscreen
'cause it's...

484
00:21:51,630 --> 00:21:53,350
You already put the sunscreen
on me earlier.

485
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,713
No, we're gonna... we're gonna
reapply the sunscreen.

486
00:21:55,796 --> 00:21:57,564
- We're putting more on?
- We're gonna reapply.

487
00:21:57,588 --> 00:21:58,796
All right. We'll put more on.

488
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,022
- So nice to meet you.
- I can't believe... This is great!

489
00:22:01,046 --> 00:22:02,766
- He's so excited.
- We're on the same ship!

490
00:22:05,255 --> 00:22:08,130
Look at that. It says that her last name
isn't even really Ballard.

491
00:22:08,213 --> 00:22:09,255
Well, so what?

492
00:22:09,838 --> 00:22:11,718
How do you just come out
looking that beautiful?

493
00:22:12,171 --> 00:22:14,380
- Oh, she's had it all done.
- What?

494
00:22:14,713 --> 00:22:17,005
Lips, nose, chin.

495
00:22:17,088 --> 00:22:18,088
No!

496
00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:20,130
People really get their chins done?

497
00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:21,588
- Mm-hmm.
- Huh!

498
00:22:21,671 --> 00:22:23,963
That was so directed at me,
it was disgusting.

499
00:22:24,046 --> 00:22:26,106
You want me to get my chin done.
And I'm not...

500
00:22:26,130 --> 00:22:28,880
I love you for who you are.
Although it's an option.

501
00:22:28,963 --> 00:22:31,106
Would you guys excuse me for a moment?

502
00:22:31,130 --> 00:22:33,713
- I should say hello to the Maharajah.
- Absolutely.

503
00:22:33,796 --> 00:22:35,897
- Everyone's saying it.
- Do you believe we're on a boat

504
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:38,880
where the guy said, "I'm gonna go have
a conversation with the Maharajah?"

505
00:22:38,963 --> 00:22:40,671
- That was big.
- Is this real?

506
00:22:40,755 --> 00:22:41,588
Excuse me, ma'am?

507
00:22:41,671 --> 00:22:44,255
Is there a Maurice here?
'Cause I'm hungry as hell.

508
00:22:44,338 --> 00:22:45,463
Yes, sir. He's preparing.

509
00:22:45,546 --> 00:22:47,346
He's preparing. Okay.
Is he ever gonna finish?

510
00:22:47,671 --> 00:22:49,588
Please tell Maurice
to step on the gas.

511
00:22:51,130 --> 00:22:52,880
- Oh, honey, honey, honey.
- Mm-hmm?

512
00:22:52,963 --> 00:22:56,630
Okay, um, don't look right now,
but there's a really scary man

513
00:22:56,713 --> 00:22:58,088
- with an eye patch...
- Mm-hmm?

514
00:22:58,171 --> 00:23:00,088
...who's just staring right at us.

515
00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:02,130
I said don't look and you can't not do it.

516
00:23:02,213 --> 00:23:03,933
You say eye patch and scary,
I'm gonna look.

517
00:23:03,963 --> 00:23:05,723
I'm sorry.
It's physically impossible not to.

518
00:23:05,796 --> 00:23:07,588
All right. Okay.
He's walking at us.

519
00:23:07,671 --> 00:23:09,213
- Honey, honey.
- Play it cool.

520
00:23:09,296 --> 00:23:11,439
- Hey, fellas. What's up? How are ya?
- Hey. Hi.

521
00:23:11,463 --> 00:23:13,505
- Who let you two on board?
- Excuse me?

522
00:23:13,588 --> 00:23:14,880
What is happening right now?

523
00:23:14,963 --> 00:23:16,963
They're my guests, Colonel.

524
00:23:17,046 --> 00:23:19,421
- This weekend is for family only.
- Really?

525
00:23:19,505 --> 00:23:21,588
The last time I checked,
you're not family.

526
00:23:21,963 --> 00:23:24,171
Neither is Soviet Chewbacca over there.

527
00:23:24,838 --> 00:23:25,838
Nick, Audrey.

528
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,560
- Yeah, you're not family for sure.
- Okay.

529
00:23:27,588 --> 00:23:30,296
Jesus. So I see one of them
was packing heat.

530
00:23:30,380 --> 00:23:33,213
- Was I supposed to bring a gun?
- Oh, I doubt it's even loaded.

531
00:23:33,296 --> 00:23:36,713
That's Colonel Charles Ulenga
of the Namibian Defense Force.

532
00:23:36,796 --> 00:23:37,838
Malcolm's best friend.

533
00:23:37,921 --> 00:23:40,296
He saved his life
from a bombing attempt in '94.

534
00:23:40,755 --> 00:23:42,380
That's where he lost his eye and his...

535
00:23:42,463 --> 00:23:44,130
And his dick? Did he lose his dick?

536
00:23:44,213 --> 00:23:47,005
- Honey, why?
- I thought that maybe it was his dick.

537
00:23:47,505 --> 00:23:51,338
And that's Sergei Radjenko,
former Spetsnaz, and his bodyguard.

538
00:23:52,005 --> 00:23:53,796
Crazy eye patch guy needs a bodyguard?

539
00:23:55,130 --> 00:23:56,588
Whoa! The hand!

540
00:23:56,671 --> 00:23:59,338
There's a hand.
It's not on his body anymore.

541
00:24:00,213 --> 00:24:02,213
Oh, look at this.
Now he's smoking his dick!

542
00:24:02,255 --> 00:24:04,880
- He's smoking his dick!
- No. Oh, God. Would you stop it?

543
00:24:04,963 --> 00:24:07,255
I'm just having fun. It's a boat.

544
00:24:08,213 --> 00:24:09,573
Can I ask you a question?

545
00:24:09,630 --> 00:24:12,630
What exactly... is a maharajah?

546
00:24:12,713 --> 00:24:14,005
Why don't you ask him yourself?

547
00:24:14,088 --> 00:24:14,921
No.

548
00:24:15,005 --> 00:24:17,713
Vik, I have some guests
I'd like you to meet.

549
00:24:17,796 --> 00:24:19,421
Nick and Audrey Spitz,

550
00:24:20,046 --> 00:24:24,671
I present the exalted Maharajah
Vikram Shivan Govindan of Mumbai.

551
00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:26,921
- Oh, my gosh. It's so...
- Hey.

552
00:24:28,588 --> 00:24:29,963
So nice to...

553
00:24:32,463 --> 00:24:33,863
- Nice...
- We're...

554
00:24:36,755 --> 00:24:40,421
Yo-ho-ho! That was very hilarious. Ah!

555
00:24:40,505 --> 00:24:42,213
With all the bowin' and shit.

556
00:24:42,296 --> 00:24:45,088
You know, when a brown person bows,
white people bow back, innit?

557
00:24:45,171 --> 00:24:47,046
- Up high. How about...
- I'm sorry.

558
00:24:47,130 --> 00:24:48,755
He's giving you... Respect!

559
00:24:48,838 --> 00:24:51,296
- That was very good. Very funny.
- That was a joke.

560
00:24:51,380 --> 00:24:53,296
Audrey has a question
she'd like to ask you.

561
00:24:53,588 --> 00:24:55,005
Let me hear it.

562
00:24:55,088 --> 00:24:59,588
Oh. We were actually wondering,
what exactly is a maharajah?

563
00:24:59,671 --> 00:25:01,880
How do you...
Do you have to go to a school for that?

564
00:25:01,963 --> 00:25:03,546
Yeah, I was born into the game.

565
00:25:03,630 --> 00:25:05,713
- Oh, you're born into it.
- Okay, born into it.

566
00:25:06,796 --> 00:25:07,880
What do you do, Nick?

567
00:25:07,963 --> 00:25:10,088
- I am...
- Nick's a detective.

568
00:25:10,171 --> 00:25:12,463
Tight! You ever wet up anyone?

569
00:25:12,546 --> 00:25:14,755
- What's that?
- Yeah, you know, like drill,

570
00:25:14,838 --> 00:25:17,546
bust a cap, waste. You're like...

571
00:25:17,630 --> 00:25:19,671
- He's funny. No, never shot anybody.
- No! God!

572
00:25:19,755 --> 00:25:20,630
Which is a good thing.

573
00:25:20,713 --> 00:25:23,713
Nick is... Well, it's just that
you're a terrible shot.

574
00:25:23,796 --> 00:25:24,963
He's a terrible shot.

575
00:25:25,046 --> 00:25:26,838
He barely got out of the academy

576
00:25:26,921 --> 00:25:30,796
because he couldn't even meet, like,
his minimum marksmanship skills.

577
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,796
Audrey is lactose intolerant.

578
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,505
- She also burps in her sleep.
- What?

579
00:25:35,588 --> 00:25:38,505
I just thought 'cause we are discussing
each other's flaws right now,

580
00:25:38,588 --> 00:25:39,963
you wanted to put it on the table.

581
00:25:40,046 --> 00:25:43,213
I'm sorry I... Listen, I didn't think
that was a sensitive subject...

582
00:25:43,296 --> 00:25:46,130
It's not a sensitive subject,
I just don't like you telling

583
00:25:46,213 --> 00:25:48,630
- everybody we meet.
- I'm sorry I brought it up. Never mind.

584
00:26:17,963 --> 00:26:20,255
- Whoa.
- Oh, my gosh. Look at this.

585
00:26:20,338 --> 00:26:22,380
- Look at this crazy.
- Wow. Babe.

586
00:26:22,463 --> 00:26:24,963
Well, this room is as nice
as the way you look.

587
00:26:25,046 --> 00:26:28,463
- You look stunning.
- Thank you, honey. That's so sweet.

588
00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:31,630
What?

589
00:26:31,713 --> 00:26:33,088
Everybody's in tuxedos.

590
00:26:33,171 --> 00:26:35,647
- I wish you'd let me pack.
- I shoulda wore socks. You're right.

591
00:26:35,671 --> 00:26:38,630
- Yo! Juan Carlos!
- Hey!

592
00:26:38,713 --> 00:26:41,046
- Oh, good luck, man.
- Hey.

593
00:26:41,130 --> 00:26:44,380
Hi. Hi, there.
What are we wishing you good luck for?

594
00:26:44,463 --> 00:26:47,921
Well, he is racing
in the Monaco Grand Prix tomorrow.

595
00:26:48,005 --> 00:26:49,796
Wow. That's big.

596
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,005
Juan Carlos Rivera,
let me introduce you to...

597
00:26:55,171 --> 00:26:57,546
Steve and Lady Steve.

598
00:26:58,130 --> 00:26:59,189
- What?
- No.

599
00:26:59,213 --> 00:27:01,130
- No, no.
- I mean, if you want.

600
00:27:01,213 --> 00:27:03,505
- Just met us once.
- Yeah, all right. I'm gonna...

601
00:27:03,588 --> 00:27:04,647
- I'm Audrey.
- ...go again.

602
00:27:04,671 --> 00:27:06,338
I'm Nick, and then we're the Spitzes.

603
00:27:06,421 --> 00:27:07,880
Juan Carlos, huh?

604
00:27:07,963 --> 00:27:09,046
Hey, Juan Carlos.

605
00:27:09,130 --> 00:27:10,421
So you're a race car driver.

606
00:27:11,046 --> 00:27:12,796
Good, yes.

607
00:27:13,130 --> 00:27:15,255
Wow. How do you
get into something like that?

608
00:27:15,588 --> 00:27:17,588
Uh, number one, yes.

609
00:27:18,046 --> 00:27:19,463
You don't speak English, do you?

610
00:27:20,546 --> 00:27:22,671
Uh, very fast. Very fast.

611
00:27:22,755 --> 00:27:24,130
- Huh? Welcome.
- Okay.

612
00:27:38,296 --> 00:27:39,338
What's that?

613
00:27:40,088 --> 00:27:42,463
That is the Quince dagger.

614
00:27:43,588 --> 00:27:46,463
Chinese steel,
jewels from across the Orient.

615
00:27:47,005 --> 00:27:49,421
A gift to the family from Marco Polo,

616
00:27:49,755 --> 00:27:50,963
or so the legend says.

617
00:27:51,046 --> 00:27:52,046
God.

618
00:27:52,296 --> 00:27:54,796
Nick's grandmother gave us
a toaster from Sears.

619
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:56,880
So the legend says.

620
00:28:08,338 --> 00:28:09,963
Oh, look.

621
00:28:10,046 --> 00:28:12,046
Here comes Daddy.

622
00:28:13,838 --> 00:28:14,838
What's that?

623
00:28:26,338 --> 00:28:27,588
Captain Wong,

624
00:28:28,046 --> 00:28:30,546
I'd like to address my guests privately.

625
00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:31,796
Certainly.

626
00:28:41,005 --> 00:28:42,005
My friends,

627
00:28:42,713 --> 00:28:45,380
welcome to the <i>Mediterranean Queen.</i>

628
00:28:45,463 --> 00:28:48,130
I can't tell you
how much it warms my heart

629
00:28:48,755 --> 00:28:50,963
that you have made this trip here

630
00:28:51,046 --> 00:28:52,921
to celebrate my nuptials.

631
00:28:53,005 --> 00:28:55,171
You will find, as you get older,

632
00:28:55,671 --> 00:28:57,796
that you begin to take stock of life.

633
00:28:59,338 --> 00:29:01,255
Not just where you've succeeded,

634
00:29:02,213 --> 00:29:03,505
but where you've failed.

635
00:29:05,255 --> 00:29:06,255
Who...

636
00:29:06,838 --> 00:29:07,838
you've failed.

637
00:29:15,213 --> 00:29:16,213
Suzi,

638
00:29:17,088 --> 00:29:18,380
my darling bride,

639
00:29:18,921 --> 00:29:21,963
who has so much of her life ahead of her.

640
00:29:23,796 --> 00:29:27,755
Grace, who shines so brightly
on the silver screen.

641
00:29:33,755 --> 00:29:36,005
Juan Carlos, my godson,

642
00:29:36,630 --> 00:29:39,963
who strives to lead my race team
to victory.

643
00:29:42,838 --> 00:29:43,838
You...

644
00:29:46,296 --> 00:29:47,296
Who are you?

645
00:29:48,713 --> 00:29:51,296
- Oh. Hey. We're the Spitzes.
- We're the...

646
00:29:51,671 --> 00:29:52,671
The who?

647
00:29:52,921 --> 00:29:55,463
Uh, I'm Audrey, and Nick Spitz.

648
00:29:55,838 --> 00:29:57,171
- Great.
- We love the boat.

649
00:29:57,255 --> 00:29:59,380
- A boat? I mean, this is a ship.
- It's beyond.

650
00:29:59,463 --> 00:30:01,814
- Never seen anything like this.
- Eric Lamonsoff has a boat.

651
00:30:01,838 --> 00:30:03,438
We go fishing. He's got a Boston Whaler.

652
00:30:03,463 --> 00:30:04,505
This is gigantic.

653
00:30:04,588 --> 00:30:06,296
They're my guests, Uncle.

654
00:30:06,588 --> 00:30:08,255
You brought guests?

655
00:30:08,338 --> 00:30:10,880
Well, you did take my plus-one.

656
00:30:11,588 --> 00:30:13,588
I'm so sorry. Would you like us to leave?

657
00:30:13,671 --> 00:30:16,106
We could... I don't know
how we're getting out of here, though.

658
00:30:16,130 --> 00:30:18,921
We're... We're out to sea.
Is there an Uber for boats?

659
00:30:19,005 --> 00:30:21,213
- Out... Out of the room, Nick.
- Out of the room?

660
00:30:21,296 --> 00:30:22,896
We can go out of the room, absolutely...

661
00:30:22,921 --> 00:30:23,921
No.

662
00:30:24,380 --> 00:30:26,005
That won't be necessary.

663
00:30:26,338 --> 00:30:28,421
- Okay. So we'll stick around.
- So we stay. Okay.

664
00:30:29,213 --> 00:30:30,796
My nephew, Charles,

665
00:30:31,546 --> 00:30:33,963
who always finds a way
to keep me on my toes.

666
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:39,796
My friend, the Colonel,
who's kept me safe these many years.

667
00:30:40,755 --> 00:30:45,963
Vikram, whose family fortunes have
always been intertwined with my own.

668
00:30:50,380 --> 00:30:51,963
And my Tobias.

669
00:30:52,921 --> 00:30:55,005
All I ever wanted was a son,

670
00:30:55,921 --> 00:30:57,213
and here you are.

671
00:30:58,005 --> 00:30:59,505
My boy.

672
00:31:03,463 --> 00:31:07,088
I've spoken to all of you
about your position in my will.

673
00:31:07,755 --> 00:31:12,005
I have thought long and hard
about what each of you is truly worth,

674
00:31:13,046 --> 00:31:15,171
and I've come to this conclusion.

675
00:31:16,380 --> 00:31:18,796
You are all leeches.

676
00:31:19,588 --> 00:31:20,671
Repugnant.

677
00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:22,255
Blood fat.

678
00:31:22,713 --> 00:31:27,255
Suckling on the tit of my good work
for so many years.

679
00:31:29,213 --> 00:31:30,546
You repulse me.

680
00:31:34,463 --> 00:31:36,546
Can't get this on a bus, baby.

681
00:31:36,630 --> 00:31:38,088
- This is incredible.
- I know it.

682
00:31:38,171 --> 00:31:39,331
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

683
00:31:39,380 --> 00:31:42,130
Which is why I have drafted a new will.

684
00:31:43,380 --> 00:31:46,005
It states that my entire fortune

685
00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:48,046
goes to Suzi.

686
00:31:51,838 --> 00:31:53,588
From this moment forth,

687
00:31:54,005 --> 00:31:55,463
you are all cut off.

688
00:31:56,505 --> 00:31:57,796
Abandoned.

689
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:01,005
And perhaps,
after I've done you this kindness,

690
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,130
you will finally be able to make
something of yourselves...

691
00:32:05,755 --> 00:32:06,880
on your own.

692
00:32:15,421 --> 00:32:18,421
Apparently, she's had enough of my caviar.

693
00:32:19,546 --> 00:32:21,130
- That was funny.
- Shh.

694
00:32:21,213 --> 00:32:22,296
Darling.

695
00:32:26,130 --> 00:32:27,810
You could've signed this at home.

696
00:32:28,255 --> 00:32:30,838
Instead, you called us here
to humiliate us?

697
00:32:30,921 --> 00:32:33,380
Yes, and you came running.

698
00:32:33,463 --> 00:32:34,671
Father, don't do this.

699
00:32:35,588 --> 00:32:36,796
Or what?

700
00:32:38,796 --> 00:32:39,838
Yes.

701
00:32:40,380 --> 00:32:41,755
That's what I thought.

702
00:32:55,963 --> 00:32:58,213
Don't shoot me!
Don't shoot me, please!

703
00:32:58,588 --> 00:33:00,046
Daddy!

704
00:33:13,630 --> 00:33:14,755
You shot him!

705
00:33:14,838 --> 00:33:16,005
No!

706
00:33:16,088 --> 00:33:17,546
I saw someone stab him.

707
00:33:17,630 --> 00:33:19,088
- Who?
- I don't know.

708
00:33:19,171 --> 00:33:20,411
What happened? I heard a scr...

709
00:33:21,671 --> 00:33:22,713
Malcolm!

710
00:33:22,796 --> 00:33:24,046
Oh, God!

711
00:33:24,671 --> 00:33:26,671
Has anybody tried to revive him?

712
00:33:26,755 --> 00:33:29,755
He's got a knife plunged in his heart.
I don't think he's revivable.

713
00:33:29,838 --> 00:33:30,838
Should we pull it out?

714
00:33:30,921 --> 00:33:33,171
No. It's a foot-long knife.
It's just like pulling...

715
00:33:36,963 --> 00:33:38,130
Oh, God!

716
00:33:38,213 --> 00:33:41,546
Wow! You should have left the knife in
for the po-po, Colonel, man!

717
00:33:41,630 --> 00:33:43,147
- I'll put it back.
- Don't put it back.

718
00:33:46,796 --> 00:33:49,130
Oh! Will you listen to my husband?
He's a detective.

719
00:33:49,213 --> 00:33:51,213
Yes, yes. What should we do, Mr. Officer?

720
00:33:51,296 --> 00:33:55,838
Well, for starters, let's stop removing
and reinserting the murder weapon

721
00:33:55,921 --> 00:33:57,380
into the victim's chest.

722
00:33:57,463 --> 00:34:00,005
In fact, let's stop
touching the body altogether.

723
00:34:00,088 --> 00:34:01,713
He was gonna take it all away.

724
00:34:03,005 --> 00:34:04,213
For you.

725
00:34:05,630 --> 00:34:06,630
Yo...

726
00:34:07,296 --> 00:34:08,380
Did he sign it?

727
00:34:13,046 --> 00:34:13,880
No.

728
00:34:13,963 --> 00:34:14,880
Yes!

729
00:34:14,963 --> 00:34:17,338
We should make sure
he doesn't have another copy on him.

730
00:34:17,630 --> 00:34:18,463
Uh... Mm-mm.

731
00:34:18,546 --> 00:34:21,296
Rifling through the pockets of the corpse
counts as touching, yup.

732
00:34:21,380 --> 00:34:24,130
Sorry to single you out like that,
Ms. Ballard. You're wonderful.

733
00:34:24,213 --> 00:34:26,564
- You look extravagant tonight.
- Okay. What's next?

734
00:34:26,588 --> 00:34:28,546
We have to preserve the crime scene.

735
00:34:28,630 --> 00:34:31,338
Captain Wong, is there any way
you can lock off this place?

736
00:34:31,671 --> 00:34:32,588
Yes, of course.

737
00:34:32,671 --> 00:34:35,088
So we should then start
questioning the suspects.

738
00:34:35,380 --> 00:34:36,546
Suspects?

739
00:34:36,630 --> 00:34:38,213
We're not questioning anybody.

740
00:34:38,296 --> 00:34:40,921
Wong, when you finish locking up here,
you bring me the key.

741
00:34:41,005 --> 00:34:44,380
Then you radio Interpol, tell 'em
we'll meet 'em at the docks in Monaco.

742
00:34:44,463 --> 00:34:47,671
In the meantime, I'm gonna check
the shrimp out a little closer.

743
00:34:47,921 --> 00:34:49,213
For the investigation?

744
00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:51,463
No, Wong, because I'm hungry as shit.

745
00:34:51,546 --> 00:34:54,546
The rest of you, I'd lock yourselves
in your chambers or your yacht rooms

746
00:34:54,630 --> 00:34:55,921
because one of us...

747
00:34:57,171 --> 00:34:58,255
is a murderer.

748
00:35:03,796 --> 00:35:05,630
- Audrey.
- Yeah?

749
00:35:05,713 --> 00:35:07,088
Get the cocktail sauce.

750
00:35:07,713 --> 00:35:08,713
Yep.

751
00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:34,588
Wait a second. What on earth is on these?

752
00:35:34,671 --> 00:35:38,755
I don't know. This Maurice guy must
breastfeed each shrimp individually.

753
00:35:38,838 --> 00:35:40,380
I mean, they live so well.

754
00:35:40,463 --> 00:35:41,963
- Oh, God, yeah.
- God.

755
00:35:43,088 --> 00:35:44,963
All right. Where were we?
Okay, okay, okay.

756
00:35:45,546 --> 00:35:48,755
You know what? There had to be
two people in on the killing.

757
00:35:48,838 --> 00:35:51,338
Because how could they know
when the lights were gonna go out?

758
00:35:51,421 --> 00:35:53,255
- That's smart, that's smart.
- Right?

759
00:35:53,338 --> 00:35:55,505
I'm tired as hell right now.
I'm gonna go to sleep.

760
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,000
- Are you kidding me?
- What?

761
00:35:57,296 --> 00:35:58,380
You're not jet-lagged?

762
00:36:02,338 --> 00:36:04,171
Nick.

763
00:36:04,255 --> 00:36:06,213
- Honey, come on, seriously.
- Huh?

764
00:36:06,296 --> 00:36:07,505
Who do you think did it?

765
00:36:08,546 --> 00:36:10,046
I don't think. I know.

766
00:36:10,796 --> 00:36:11,796
Who?

767
00:36:12,005 --> 00:36:13,255
It was the son.

768
00:36:13,755 --> 00:36:15,421
- Tobey.
- No.

769
00:36:15,505 --> 00:36:18,630
No way. Not a chance. It's too obvious.

770
00:36:18,713 --> 00:36:21,255
The most obvious suspect
is never, never the killer.

771
00:36:21,338 --> 00:36:24,671
The most obvious suspect
is always the killer.

772
00:36:24,755 --> 00:36:29,505
When a wife gets killed,
90% of the time it was the husband.

773
00:36:30,963 --> 00:36:32,755
Why did you just use that as an example?

774
00:36:33,755 --> 00:36:34,796
And I disagree.

775
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,130
I think people are more complicated
than that.

776
00:36:39,171 --> 00:36:41,921
Judging off of what?
Those books that you read?

777
00:36:42,505 --> 00:36:44,921
People are simple, okay?

778
00:36:45,005 --> 00:36:46,005
It was Tobey.

779
00:36:46,046 --> 00:36:49,546
He had the most to gain,
and he also had the most to lose.

780
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,296
Which is exactly why he's not the killer.

781
00:36:53,921 --> 00:36:55,921
Did you ever fool around on a boat?

782
00:36:56,463 --> 00:36:58,023
Do you know how much fun that could be?

783
00:36:58,088 --> 00:37:00,171
I just lay here
and the boat does all the work.

784
00:37:00,255 --> 00:37:02,606
- That's so convenient for you.
- You know I have a bad back.

785
00:37:02,630 --> 00:37:04,130
So convenient for you.

786
00:37:05,505 --> 00:37:07,046
What about the lights?

787
00:37:07,130 --> 00:37:10,213
Yeah, leave 'em on. I don't care.
Either way. Lady's choice.

788
00:37:10,296 --> 00:37:12,880
Shh! No. Who turned out those lights?

789
00:37:15,588 --> 00:37:17,296
What?! Oh!

790
00:37:28,046 --> 00:37:30,171
Don't look at me like that. I can feel it.

791
00:38:00,630 --> 00:38:02,606
- I'm sorry. Excuse me.
- Will you take the Allegra?

792
00:38:02,630 --> 00:38:03,796
It's the same stuff.

793
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,755
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Oh, God.

794
00:38:09,046 --> 00:38:11,213
Enter the brilliant
yet tortured detective,

795
00:38:11,505 --> 00:38:12,505
right on cue.

796
00:38:13,255 --> 00:38:14,380
<i>Mesdames, messieurs.</i>

797
00:38:16,421 --> 00:38:19,130
My name is Inspector Laurent Delacroix.

798
00:38:20,963 --> 00:38:25,005
I will now summon you one by one
to the grand lounge for questioning.

799
00:38:31,171 --> 00:38:33,713
Why is that smoke ring so good?
How did he do that?

800
00:38:36,130 --> 00:38:38,171
Oh, you broke it. You broke it.

801
00:38:49,838 --> 00:38:51,421
Tell me about Malcolm Quince.

802
00:38:51,921 --> 00:38:54,296
He was the most wonderful...

803
00:38:54,380 --> 00:38:55,505
Swine.

804
00:38:55,588 --> 00:38:57,630
He was the love of my life.

805
00:38:57,713 --> 00:38:59,838
He was a complicated man.

806
00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:02,963
Describe to me what happened.

807
00:39:03,546 --> 00:39:08,338
Yo, Mr. French Policeman, man.
It was mad. Lights went out.

808
00:39:08,421 --> 00:39:10,880
I thought I saw something move,
and I shot.

809
00:39:13,713 --> 00:39:14,630
Yes.

810
00:39:14,713 --> 00:39:15,546
Finish line.

811
00:39:15,630 --> 00:39:17,713
The old man got what was coming to him.

812
00:39:17,796 --> 00:39:19,546
One-eight-seven, motherfu...

813
00:39:21,796 --> 00:39:23,588
Did anyone touch the body?

814
00:39:25,380 --> 00:39:26,463
No.

815
00:39:26,546 --> 00:39:30,255
And did you notice anything else
out of the ordinary?

816
00:39:31,130 --> 00:39:33,630
- The Americans.
- Yes, number one. Yes.

817
00:39:37,588 --> 00:39:39,296
Aren't you gonna, um...

818
00:39:39,380 --> 00:39:40,838
Aren't you gonna separate us?

819
00:39:42,838 --> 00:39:43,838
<i>Pardon?</i>

820
00:39:44,171 --> 00:39:45,880
- For the interrogation.
- Okay.

821
00:39:45,963 --> 00:39:47,588
Question us separately, see if our...

822
00:39:47,671 --> 00:39:49,505
- What are you doing?
- ...answers match.

823
00:39:49,588 --> 00:39:52,380
What? I'm just saying,
our answers will match

824
00:39:52,463 --> 00:39:54,303
- because we're innocent.
- Yeah, that's right.

825
00:39:55,796 --> 00:39:56,713
There we go.

826
00:39:56,796 --> 00:39:59,338
God, you are really good at that.

827
00:39:59,588 --> 00:40:02,963
We found this in Tobey Quince's suite.

828
00:40:03,630 --> 00:40:05,838
A typewritten suicide note

829
00:40:05,921 --> 00:40:08,671
in which he confesses
to the murder of his father.

830
00:40:09,255 --> 00:40:10,088
Typewritten?

831
00:40:10,171 --> 00:40:12,338
- Mm-mm.
- That's not very common.

832
00:40:12,796 --> 00:40:14,546
- Very suspicious.
- Yes.

833
00:40:14,630 --> 00:40:17,963
Yeah, obviously someone is trying
to frame Tobey for his father's murder.

834
00:40:18,963 --> 00:40:21,421
- This is amazing.
- Look how excited she is.

835
00:40:21,505 --> 00:40:23,305
So where's your head at
with this whole thing?

836
00:40:23,380 --> 00:40:24,963
I mean, who are your chief suspects?

837
00:40:26,338 --> 00:40:27,171
You.

838
00:40:27,255 --> 00:40:29,255
- Woo, yes.
- Right, of course,

839
00:40:29,338 --> 00:40:32,713
- 'cause everybody is a suspect.
- Especially her.

840
00:40:32,796 --> 00:40:36,255
This is a group of friends and family
who have known each other for years.

841
00:40:36,338 --> 00:40:39,338
You two show up, and ten hours later,
two of them are dead.

842
00:40:40,088 --> 00:40:41,088
Coincidence?

843
00:40:41,463 --> 00:40:43,046
- Yes.
- Absolutely.

844
00:40:43,130 --> 00:40:44,463
- Coincidence.
- Wait. Excuse me.

845
00:40:44,546 --> 00:40:46,046
Are you saying that your theory

846
00:40:46,130 --> 00:40:50,338
is that the two of us conned our way
onto a stranger's boat at the last minute

847
00:40:50,421 --> 00:40:54,421
to commit premeditated murder
that benefits us in no way?

848
00:40:54,505 --> 00:40:55,505
That's your theory?

849
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:57,421
Perhaps someone paid you to do it.

850
00:40:57,505 --> 00:40:59,088
- No.
- Paid us to do it?

851
00:40:59,171 --> 00:41:01,963
Oh, my gosh. I would love to see that.
Show me that money.

852
00:41:02,046 --> 00:41:04,005
Do you want to see
our bank statements?

853
00:41:04,380 --> 00:41:06,338
We're broke.

854
00:41:06,421 --> 00:41:08,380
Desperate for money. I see.

855
00:41:08,463 --> 00:41:10,421
Now you gave him a motive.

856
00:41:10,505 --> 00:41:12,731
- No, no, no. I know. Just don't...
- We did this because...

857
00:41:12,755 --> 00:41:14,731
- ...take my words out of context.
- We got nothing.

858
00:41:14,755 --> 00:41:16,231
- That's all we got, is nothing.
- No.

859
00:41:16,255 --> 00:41:19,546
Listen, I am talking to you,
detective to detective.

860
00:41:20,088 --> 00:41:21,088
We didn't do this.

861
00:41:21,130 --> 00:41:23,588
- You can see in my eyes. You can tell.
- Mm-mm.

862
00:41:24,088 --> 00:41:27,338
Perhaps I will have
that word with you independently.

863
00:41:28,130 --> 00:41:29,296
I di... Hey!

864
00:41:30,630 --> 00:41:31,546
I can get up.

865
00:41:31,630 --> 00:41:32,963
Hey, okay.

866
00:41:33,046 --> 00:41:34,463
I'll be out in a minute.

867
00:41:34,963 --> 00:41:36,046
I love you.

868
00:41:36,130 --> 00:41:38,713
I'm sorry. She's just excited
because it's...

869
00:41:38,796 --> 00:41:41,213
She reads books, and this is fun for her.

870
00:41:43,546 --> 00:41:46,171
You wish me to believe you're innocent.

871
00:41:46,255 --> 00:41:48,671
Unfortunately, I do not believe liars.

872
00:41:48,755 --> 00:41:50,255
But I'm telling you the truth.

873
00:41:50,338 --> 00:41:52,796
And how long
have you been lying to your wife?

874
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:53,880
Excuse me?

875
00:41:54,630 --> 00:41:57,630
You did not think that we would
investigate your background,

876
00:41:58,088 --> 00:42:01,546
Sergeant Nicholas Spitz, NYPD?

877
00:42:02,005 --> 00:42:05,380
Failed his detective's exam three times.

878
00:42:05,463 --> 00:42:07,588
You are, how you do say,

879
00:42:07,671 --> 00:42:08,921
cop on the beat,

880
00:42:09,005 --> 00:42:11,088
not detective as you so claim.

881
00:42:11,838 --> 00:42:12,838
So I...

882
00:42:13,838 --> 00:42:15,421
tell people I'm a detective.

883
00:42:15,505 --> 00:42:16,713
There's...

884
00:42:16,796 --> 00:42:18,005
That's not a crime.

885
00:42:18,380 --> 00:42:21,213
Impersonating a detective <i>is </i>a crime.

886
00:42:21,630 --> 00:42:23,030
I didn't think it was a crime here.

887
00:42:23,088 --> 00:42:24,848
I thought maybe you guys
had different rules.

888
00:42:25,296 --> 00:42:27,005
That doesn't make us murderers.

889
00:42:27,088 --> 00:42:30,671
A broke, failed man, lying to his wife?
I think it does.

890
00:42:30,963 --> 00:42:33,463
You don't have any evidence.
You can't hold us.

891
00:42:33,546 --> 00:42:35,880
No, but I can hold these.

892
00:42:37,088 --> 00:42:40,588
I believe Mr. Cavendish has provided
accommodations for you

893
00:42:40,671 --> 00:42:43,755
at the Hotel de Savoie,
so you won't be on the street.

894
00:42:44,421 --> 00:42:47,380
But mark my words, Officer Spitz,

895
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,671
I will not rest until I prove
that you committed these murders.

896
00:42:52,296 --> 00:42:53,296
And I...

897
00:42:54,088 --> 00:42:57,463
will rest, because I'm tired as shit,
at that hotel you just said.

898
00:42:57,546 --> 00:42:59,046
It sounds like a good one.

899
00:42:59,130 --> 00:43:01,713
But after I'm well-rested
and I eat breakfast...

900
00:43:01,796 --> 00:43:04,421
hopefully the guy cooks
as good as Maurice...

901
00:43:05,255 --> 00:43:07,796
I will not rest until I prove to you

902
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,171
we have nothing to do with these murders.

903
00:43:15,005 --> 00:43:15,838
Juan Carlos!

904
00:43:15,921 --> 00:43:17,130
Juan Carlos!

905
00:43:20,671 --> 00:43:23,031
Charles said
that everyone's gonna be at this race,

906
00:43:23,088 --> 00:43:24,921
so whoever did this is gonna be there.

907
00:43:25,005 --> 00:43:26,296
We have to figure out who it is.

908
00:43:26,380 --> 00:43:29,505
I know we've gotta figure it out.
This isn't one of your books, sweetheart.

909
00:43:29,588 --> 00:43:32,046
I mean, it's like one of your books,
but this is real.

910
00:43:32,130 --> 00:43:34,255
Like, two people are dead, for real.

911
00:43:34,338 --> 00:43:36,314
- I know.
- There's a real killer on the real loose.

912
00:43:36,338 --> 00:43:37,505
Hey, babe. Relax.

913
00:43:37,588 --> 00:43:39,171
What's... What's wrong with you?

914
00:43:39,255 --> 00:43:41,921
For real? Come on. Will you just focus...

915
00:43:42,005 --> 00:43:43,064
- Fine.
- ...on this with me?

916
00:43:43,088 --> 00:43:44,671
Um, yes. Uh...

917
00:43:44,755 --> 00:43:47,671
Okay. So there are three basic
motives for every murder.

918
00:43:47,755 --> 00:43:49,671
Yes. The first one is money.

919
00:43:49,755 --> 00:43:50,630
Right.

920
00:43:50,713 --> 00:43:52,671
Everyone was in Quince's will,
except Suzi.

921
00:43:52,755 --> 00:43:54,713
- Okay.
- All right. The second one is love.

922
00:43:54,796 --> 00:43:57,156
We know nobody loved that guy
'cause he was kind of a prick.

923
00:43:57,213 --> 00:43:58,296
Suzi might have loved him.

924
00:43:58,380 --> 00:44:00,689
- That's what you would think...
- Okay, what's the third one?

925
00:44:00,713 --> 00:44:01,880
- Revenge.
- Right.

926
00:44:01,963 --> 00:44:03,643
That's the one
we should be thinking about.

927
00:44:03,671 --> 00:44:06,106
I'm telling you, if we figure out
who hates this guy the most,

928
00:44:06,130 --> 00:44:07,005
that's our killer.

929
00:44:07,088 --> 00:44:08,421
Okay. Okay.

930
00:44:18,088 --> 00:44:20,796
So, this beard... It's incredible.

931
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,671
Do you oil that or condition?

932
00:44:23,755 --> 00:44:25,255
You won't get anything out of him.

933
00:44:25,338 --> 00:44:26,671
Oh, my gosh.

934
00:44:26,755 --> 00:44:29,796
Most of his life, he's been serving men
like me and Malcolm,

935
00:44:30,130 --> 00:44:32,005
despite being an heir to millions.

936
00:44:32,088 --> 00:44:33,296
He's rich, too?

937
00:44:33,380 --> 00:44:35,713
He's supposed to be,
but he's one of 16 children,

938
00:44:35,796 --> 00:44:37,713
and he's half French.

939
00:44:37,796 --> 00:44:40,255
Are you familiar
with French inheritance law?

940
00:44:40,630 --> 00:44:41,630
Broad strokes.

941
00:44:41,671 --> 00:44:44,130
That Colonel guy,
he's getting on my nerves.

942
00:44:44,213 --> 00:44:45,796
- Yeah.
- Shit. Walking around

943
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:47,522
- saying you killed both those guys.
- Huh?

944
00:44:47,546 --> 00:44:48,755
- Yeah.
- What?

945
00:44:48,838 --> 00:44:50,255
And I'm like, come on.

946
00:44:50,338 --> 00:44:53,963
- My man wouldn't do...
- Yo. Look, yo. I didn't do nothing, son.

947
00:44:54,046 --> 00:44:56,213
- It doesn't matter what the will says.
- Uh-huh.

948
00:44:56,296 --> 00:44:59,171
The fortune must be divided equally
among the offspring.

949
00:44:59,255 --> 00:45:01,088
Why do the French have such a law?

950
00:45:01,171 --> 00:45:05,380
Well, they do it to keep all Frenchmen
from doing what Malcolm was trying to do,

951
00:45:05,463 --> 00:45:07,921
and leaving everything
to their mistresses.

952
00:45:08,005 --> 00:45:09,046
Oh.

953
00:45:09,963 --> 00:45:11,380
- My theory is...
- Yeah?

954
00:45:11,755 --> 00:45:13,088
...Juan Carlos done it, man.

955
00:45:13,171 --> 00:45:14,838
What? Why would he do that?

956
00:45:14,921 --> 00:45:17,588
Well, Juan Carlos's dad
used to race for Malcolm.

957
00:45:17,671 --> 00:45:21,713
Malcolm tried to get slick on some
safety angle, and shit got overlooked.

958
00:45:21,796 --> 00:45:23,046
- Yeah?
- Okay.

959
00:45:24,130 --> 00:45:27,921
Juan Carlos's dad lost both his legs, G.

960
00:45:28,005 --> 00:45:29,963
Yeah, straight up.

961
00:45:30,046 --> 00:45:31,130
- Oh.
- Gone.

962
00:45:31,213 --> 00:45:32,421
So it's payback time.

963
00:45:32,505 --> 00:45:34,088
A hundred percent of a doubt.

964
00:45:34,755 --> 00:45:35,755
Wh-What?

965
00:45:35,921 --> 00:45:38,005
- Juan Carlos is your man.
- Oh, yeah.

966
00:45:38,088 --> 00:45:39,255
You guarantee that?

967
00:45:39,338 --> 00:45:40,338
Guarantee.

968
00:45:40,421 --> 00:45:41,755
Respect.

969
00:45:42,671 --> 00:45:44,421
Or maybe Sergei could have done it.

970
00:45:46,046 --> 00:45:48,213
- Yeah.
- Okay. So you're not guaranteeing it.

971
00:45:48,296 --> 00:45:49,588
No, not a hundred percent. No.

972
00:45:53,921 --> 00:45:56,088
Oh! Bless you.

973
00:45:56,755 --> 00:45:58,213
Would you like some Allegra?

974
00:45:58,713 --> 00:46:01,046
- I doubt that would be useful.
- I know.

975
00:46:01,130 --> 00:46:03,338
It doesn't work.
I tried to tell that to Nick.

976
00:46:06,046 --> 00:46:07,380
Do you need something?

977
00:46:07,963 --> 00:46:09,921
Uh, no. Mm-mm.

978
00:46:10,755 --> 00:46:13,880
The guy that throws me off the most...
Cavendish...

979
00:46:13,963 --> 00:46:17,921
to me, he seems like
he's compensating for something,

980
00:46:18,005 --> 00:46:20,046
with the <i>Great Gatsby</i> look and the jawline

981
00:46:20,130 --> 00:46:22,380
and the "hey, I'm so gorgeous."
Am I right?

982
00:46:22,463 --> 00:46:23,338
Mm-hmm.

983
00:46:23,421 --> 00:46:25,880
There's absolutely nothing wrong
with Charles Cavendish.

984
00:46:25,963 --> 00:46:27,630
- Isn't that the...
- Except...

985
00:46:28,213 --> 00:46:30,130
he probably murdered his uncle.

986
00:46:31,130 --> 00:46:32,880
Well, that's one thing wrong.

987
00:46:34,505 --> 00:46:36,380
<i>...comes to the checkered flag!</i>

988
00:46:36,463 --> 00:46:37,838
<i>It's Juan Carlos!</i>

989
00:46:38,921 --> 00:46:41,838
<i>Winner of this year's
Monte Carlo Grand Prix!</i>

990
00:46:41,921 --> 00:46:43,921
<i>I find that Suzi Nakamura very suspicious.</i>

991
00:46:43,963 --> 00:46:46,005
<i>She's the only one
who didn't have a motive.</i>

992
00:46:46,088 --> 00:46:49,064
- It was Cavendish and you know it.
- You just... No, you just don't like him.

993
00:46:49,088 --> 00:46:52,005
I don't like him. I don't.
I hate his guts, but that's not it.

994
00:46:52,088 --> 00:46:54,838
- Did you just steal all of those?
- He's the sole blood heir.

995
00:46:54,921 --> 00:46:57,796
He stands to make
the biggest claim for the fortune.

996
00:46:57,880 --> 00:46:58,880
I want one of these.

997
00:46:58,921 --> 00:47:01,380
- Malcolm stole his fiancée.
- Okay.

998
00:47:01,463 --> 00:47:03,171
That's all three motives.

999
00:47:03,255 --> 00:47:05,046
Money, love, revenge.

1000
00:47:05,130 --> 00:47:06,838
We went past it.
I don't know where we are.

1001
00:47:06,921 --> 00:47:08,881
We're over here.
Will you please try one of these?

1002
00:47:08,921 --> 00:47:10,796
No! Oh, my God. You know what?

1003
00:47:11,296 --> 00:47:14,088
I think you just think it's Cavendish
'cause you're jealous of him.

1004
00:47:14,171 --> 00:47:15,921
- Oh, God.
- Yeah.

1005
00:47:16,005 --> 00:47:17,921
- I'm jealous of him.
- You are.

1006
00:47:18,005 --> 00:47:19,546
What? Why? What am I jealous of?

1007
00:47:19,630 --> 00:47:22,588
What is there to be jealous...
He's rich. He's charming.

1008
00:47:23,171 --> 00:47:24,630
He smells great.

1009
00:47:24,713 --> 00:47:26,296
What do you mean? What's he smell like?

1010
00:47:26,380 --> 00:47:28,880
He smells like
he just came out of the dryer.

1011
00:47:32,421 --> 00:47:34,046
What the... What the...

1012
00:47:38,088 --> 00:47:39,255
No, no, no.

1013
00:47:39,338 --> 00:47:40,838
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

1014
00:47:40,921 --> 00:47:42,601
We should test that
for fingerprints first.

1015
00:47:42,630 --> 00:47:44,921
Okay. Do you have
the fingerprint testing kit?

1016
00:47:45,296 --> 00:47:46,921
- What?
- 'Cause I didn't pack mine.

1017
00:47:47,005 --> 00:47:48,046
Is it in your bag?

1018
00:47:48,130 --> 00:47:49,296
Stop it! Come on.

1019
00:47:50,213 --> 00:47:51,213
Hurry.

1020
00:47:51,713 --> 00:47:53,296
Oh, this is so crazy.

1021
00:47:55,046 --> 00:47:56,796
Oh, God. Seriously?

1022
00:47:58,921 --> 00:48:00,171
Oh, got it.

1023
00:48:00,255 --> 00:48:02,088
Will you please
just go see a chiropractor?

1024
00:48:02,171 --> 00:48:03,213
It's gonna be fine.

1025
00:48:04,463 --> 00:48:07,296
"Come to suite 802."

1026
00:48:07,380 --> 00:48:08,713
<i>♪ Dum, dum, dum ♪</i>

1027
00:48:08,796 --> 00:48:11,296
- We have to go to 802.
- We're not going to 802. Stop!

1028
00:48:11,380 --> 00:48:12,463
- Why?
- It's a trap.

1029
00:48:12,546 --> 00:48:14,986
Why wouldn't whoever just knocked
just come in and talk to us?

1030
00:48:15,255 --> 00:48:16,815
Maybe he's being watched by the killer.

1031
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:19,005
What if we're being watched by the killer?

1032
00:48:19,671 --> 00:48:20,880
What if he was in here?

1033
00:48:21,588 --> 00:48:23,713
Maybe he stole my Peanut M&Ms.

1034
00:48:23,796 --> 00:48:25,755
I stole your Peanut M&Ms.

1035
00:48:26,171 --> 00:48:27,171
You stole my Peanut M&Ms?

1036
00:48:27,255 --> 00:48:29,522
- I wanted to see if they tasted the same!
- You got to stop eating.

1037
00:48:29,546 --> 00:48:30,838
You're gonna gain it all back.

1038
00:48:30,921 --> 00:48:32,713
I'm going to 802. Are you coming with me?

1039
00:48:32,796 --> 00:48:34,463
Okay, wait. Let me just...

1040
00:48:34,546 --> 00:48:36,546
- What?
- ...figure something out.

1041
00:48:37,296 --> 00:48:38,380
God damn.

1042
00:48:43,005 --> 00:48:45,338
- What are you doing?
- It's a weapon.

1043
00:48:45,421 --> 00:48:46,296
That's a lamp.

1044
00:48:46,380 --> 00:48:48,713
Not when I crack someone
over the head with it.

1045
00:48:48,796 --> 00:48:50,476
Will you stop questioning everything I do.

1046
00:48:50,505 --> 00:48:52,105
Well, everything you do is questionable.

1047
00:49:01,755 --> 00:49:02,963
That's 808.

1048
00:49:15,630 --> 00:49:16,630
Hello?

1049
00:49:18,463 --> 00:49:19,463
Note sender?

1050
00:49:21,963 --> 00:49:24,213
You told us to come to 802. Are you there?

1051
00:49:26,130 --> 00:49:27,130
Are you dead?

1052
00:49:27,921 --> 00:49:29,338
He might be in the bathroom.

1053
00:49:34,088 --> 00:49:36,088
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

1054
00:49:36,171 --> 00:49:37,491
Sit on the bed.

1055
00:49:37,546 --> 00:49:39,255
You speak... I thought you didn't speak.

1056
00:49:39,338 --> 00:49:40,838
Shut up. Sit on the bed.

1057
00:49:40,921 --> 00:49:42,231
- I'm sitting!
- Shut up. Sit down.

1058
00:49:42,255 --> 00:49:44,921
We're gonna sit in front of the bed.
All good.

1059
00:49:45,671 --> 00:49:47,755
I cannot keep his secrets anymore.

1060
00:49:48,338 --> 00:49:50,088
You mean the Colonel's, right?

1061
00:49:50,171 --> 00:49:53,588
The Colonel's secrets?
I know, it's so hard to keep secrets.

1062
00:49:53,671 --> 00:49:55,880
It really is.
You know, I have a friend named Gwen,

1063
00:49:55,963 --> 00:49:57,883
and she has a box
that she keeps under her bed...

1064
00:49:57,921 --> 00:49:59,796
Look, don't give me that hairdresser shit.

1065
00:50:00,130 --> 00:50:01,505
Just shut up. Listen.

1066
00:50:02,755 --> 00:50:05,088
Copenhagen, 1994.

1067
00:50:06,921 --> 00:50:08,755
We were leaving a state dinner.

1068
00:50:10,713 --> 00:50:12,588
I did not see the bomber,

1069
00:50:13,671 --> 00:50:15,130
but the Colonel did.

1070
00:50:15,421 --> 00:50:16,255
Whoa.

1071
00:50:16,338 --> 00:50:19,213
He threw his body across Mr. Quince.

1072
00:50:20,338 --> 00:50:21,546
He was hero.

1073
00:50:22,255 --> 00:50:25,088
For nine months,
the Colonel lay in a coma.

1074
00:50:26,213 --> 00:50:27,630
And when he awoke,

1075
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:32,880
he find his eye
is not the only thing he lost.

1076
00:50:32,963 --> 00:50:35,213
They blew off his dick.
I knew it. I knew it.

1077
00:50:35,296 --> 00:50:37,689
- His hand. His hand, honey.
- The dick. He's saying the dick.

1078
00:50:37,713 --> 00:50:39,233
- No, no, no.
- He doesn't have a hand!

1079
00:50:39,296 --> 00:50:41,088
- I'm no talk about dick!
- All right.

1080
00:50:42,713 --> 00:50:44,296
I talk about her.

1081
00:50:44,380 --> 00:50:45,588
- Me?
- Her?

1082
00:50:45,671 --> 00:50:46,671
No, no, no.

1083
00:50:50,213 --> 00:50:51,588
Madeleine...

1084
00:50:52,046 --> 00:50:53,546
LeBoutillier.

1085
00:50:55,588 --> 00:50:58,380
The most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

1086
00:50:59,296 --> 00:51:03,130
She was the Colonel's fiancée
when the bomb exploded.

1087
00:51:04,630 --> 00:51:06,088
And when he awoke...

1088
00:51:07,796 --> 00:51:09,880
she was Mr. Quince's wife.

1089
00:51:10,338 --> 00:51:11,671
What the hell is with this guy?

1090
00:51:11,755 --> 00:51:14,481
- What, honestly, is his problem?
- Can he get his own woman maybe once?

1091
00:51:14,505 --> 00:51:15,838
And then she died.

1092
00:51:16,130 --> 00:51:17,296
No!

1093
00:51:17,671 --> 00:51:18,838
In childbirth.

1094
00:51:18,921 --> 00:51:19,796
- No!
- Damn.

1095
00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:21,880
The child died, too. A boy.

1096
00:51:22,338 --> 00:51:24,671
A boy who would have inherited it all.

1097
00:51:25,588 --> 00:51:29,088
After that, the Colonel never mentioned
Madeleine again,

1098
00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:32,880
except for one night.

1099
00:51:32,963 --> 00:51:34,921
On the anniversary of her death,

1100
00:51:35,296 --> 00:51:38,088
he came to me, he was drinking. He say...

1101
00:51:40,005 --> 00:51:41,005
"Sergei."

1102
00:51:41,338 --> 00:51:42,630
He's doing impressions now.

1103
00:51:43,046 --> 00:51:46,505
"If you were to kill this Mr. Quince,

1104
00:51:46,588 --> 00:51:48,046
how would you do it?"

1105
00:51:48,963 --> 00:51:50,130
And I say,

1106
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,338
"Find isolated place,

1107
00:51:53,963 --> 00:51:55,838
create confusion,

1108
00:51:55,921 --> 00:51:58,755
make sure there are others with motive."

1109
00:51:59,713 --> 00:52:02,588
I told him how to kill the man!

1110
00:52:03,005 --> 00:52:05,588
- Holy shit! This is incredible!
- Thank you.

1111
00:52:05,671 --> 00:52:08,838
Okay. So the Colonel killed Malcolm
and Tobey over lost love.

1112
00:52:08,921 --> 00:52:10,272
- Got it. Perfect.
- This is insane.

1113
00:52:10,296 --> 00:52:12,255
Will you just say
all of that one more time,

1114
00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:13,796
but can you say it from the top?

1115
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:16,022
- I've gotta do a voice memo.
- She screws this up a lot.

1116
00:52:16,046 --> 00:52:18,338
- Just ask Siri.
- Swipe it up.

1117
00:52:18,421 --> 00:52:19,606
- Swipe it up.
- I did swipe up.

1118
00:52:19,630 --> 00:52:20,463
Say, "Siri,

1119
00:52:20,546 --> 00:52:22,689
I would like to make voice memo."

1120
00:52:25,921 --> 00:52:28,005
Get into wardrobe. You are in danger.

1121
00:52:28,088 --> 00:52:30,606
- Get in the wardrobe, you said?
- You are in danger. Right now.

1122
00:52:30,630 --> 00:52:32,838
- Quickly.
- Jesus. I don't know... Ow!

1123
00:52:33,463 --> 00:52:36,338
And whatever you hear,
do not come out till I say so.

1124
00:52:36,421 --> 00:52:37,463
- Yes, sir.
- Yes.

1125
00:52:40,046 --> 00:52:41,630
You. What do you want?

1126
00:52:42,921 --> 00:52:45,296
No, they're not here. You should go.

1127
00:52:48,796 --> 00:52:50,296
Where's the lamp?

1128
00:52:50,755 --> 00:52:53,380
- I left it outside.
- Why isn't it in here?

1129
00:52:53,463 --> 00:52:56,088
- Now you like the lamp? You're ridiculous.
- Well, we needed...

1130
00:52:56,171 --> 00:52:58,671
- Let me open the door.
- Wait, wait, wait!

1131
00:52:58,755 --> 00:53:00,380
Sh.

1132
00:53:03,588 --> 00:53:04,713
Oh, thank God.

1133
00:53:05,213 --> 00:53:06,213
Killer...

1134
00:53:06,671 --> 00:53:07,546
is...

1135
00:53:07,630 --> 00:53:08,880
What?

1136
00:53:10,630 --> 00:53:12,088
Oh, God, no! No, no, no!

1137
00:53:12,171 --> 00:53:13,963
Oh, my God!

1138
00:53:14,046 --> 00:53:15,505
Is he dead? Is he dead?

1139
00:53:16,421 --> 00:53:17,421
He's dead!

1140
00:53:17,963 --> 00:53:19,296
Do we call housekeeping?

1141
00:53:19,380 --> 00:53:20,921
Oh! Honey!

1142
00:53:21,005 --> 00:53:22,713
Oh, my God!

1143
00:53:23,546 --> 00:53:24,671
Lock the door!

1144
00:53:24,755 --> 00:53:26,171
Oh, God!

1145
00:53:26,255 --> 00:53:27,755
Oh, my God.

1146
00:53:29,421 --> 00:53:30,505
Go! Out of the window!

1147
00:53:30,588 --> 00:53:33,296
What are you doing?

1148
00:53:34,338 --> 00:53:35,880
Okay, there's a ledge.

1149
00:53:35,963 --> 00:53:37,796
That's not a ledge, that's an edge!

1150
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:39,713
- Here we go.
- Oh, my God.

1151
00:53:39,796 --> 00:53:42,838
I gotcha, a hundred percent.
A hundred percent. Slow.

1152
00:53:42,921 --> 00:53:45,296
- Oh, right there.
- No! Oh, God.

1153
00:53:45,380 --> 00:53:46,588
Come on.

1154
00:53:46,671 --> 00:53:48,213
- Don't even look down.
- Oh!

1155
00:53:48,296 --> 00:53:49,536
- Don't look down.
- Oh, my God!

1156
00:53:49,588 --> 00:53:51,671
- Told you not to look down.
- It's so far.

1157
00:53:51,755 --> 00:53:52,915
Oh, my God.

1158
00:54:01,546 --> 00:54:03,921
He flosses angrier than you!

1159
00:54:10,088 --> 00:54:11,713
We got an empty room. Jackpot.

1160
00:54:11,796 --> 00:54:13,756
- Okay, we're gonna get up on this letter.
- Okay.

1161
00:54:13,838 --> 00:54:15,671
Ready? Go.

1162
00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:18,630
God!

1163
00:54:18,713 --> 00:54:19,838
Oh, my God!

1164
00:54:21,713 --> 00:54:23,647
- You okay? Come on.
- That was the scariest thing.

1165
00:54:23,671 --> 00:54:26,505
- We gotta go. All right. I love you.
- Oh, my God.

1166
00:54:26,588 --> 00:54:28,939
- I love you. I'm so scared.
- Let's go, let's go, let's go.

1167
00:54:31,755 --> 00:54:34,005
Uh... What's in here? Uh...

1168
00:54:35,088 --> 00:54:36,880
No, you're not going back out there.

1169
00:54:38,046 --> 00:54:39,921
- Oh, yes! Finally!
- Come here.

1170
00:54:40,588 --> 00:54:41,963
- Kiss me, Vik.
- Oh!

1171
00:54:42,046 --> 00:54:43,755
Oh, kiss me. Kiss me here.

1172
00:54:43,838 --> 00:54:44,921
- Where?
- Here.

1173
00:54:45,005 --> 00:54:47,380
- God, I love it. Quick, get me to the bed.
- Jesus Christ.

1174
00:54:47,463 --> 00:54:48,630
- Get up.
- Yes!

1175
00:54:48,713 --> 00:54:51,671
I'm gonna drink you up
like a milkshake without a straw!

1176
00:54:51,755 --> 00:54:53,296
Yeah. Wow!

1177
00:54:53,380 --> 00:54:54,939
- That's right.
- Vanilla milkshake!

1178
00:54:54,963 --> 00:54:56,838
Vanilla, chocolate, whatever!

1179
00:54:56,921 --> 00:54:57,796
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

1180
00:54:57,880 --> 00:54:59,088
- Here we go!
- Wow!

1181
00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:02,088
Yeah! I hope the hotel's
got insurance for these springs

1182
00:55:02,171 --> 00:55:03,630
'cause I'm gonna bust this bed up.

1183
00:55:03,713 --> 00:55:04,713
Oh, my God!

1184
00:55:04,755 --> 00:55:06,939
- You're much stronger than you look, Vik!
- That's right!

1185
00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:10,630
- You ready for this?
- I don't know if I am!

1186
00:55:10,713 --> 00:55:12,630
Oh, Grace!

1187
00:55:13,005 --> 00:55:16,213
- Grace! Oh, Grace!
- Huh? Why do you keep saying Grace?

1188
00:55:16,296 --> 00:55:18,397
Darling, it's the only thing
that gets me in the mood.

1189
00:55:18,421 --> 00:55:22,046
Grace!
You look so good for your age!

1190
00:55:22,130 --> 00:55:25,588
- <i>So </i>good for your age! Oh, God!
- Your skin is beautiful!

1191
00:55:25,671 --> 00:55:28,796
- You have no wrinkles...
- No wrinkles any...

1192
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:29,755
Anywhere!

1193
00:55:29,838 --> 00:55:32,630
Oh, my God! Grace, you're so...

1194
00:55:32,713 --> 00:55:33,796
Oh, God!

1195
00:55:36,588 --> 00:55:37,908
- Uh-oh.
- Vik.

1196
00:55:37,963 --> 00:55:39,005
Mm-hmm?

1197
00:55:39,088 --> 00:55:40,171
What happened?

1198
00:55:41,255 --> 00:55:43,838
Maybe we should,
like, conversate a little bit.

1199
00:55:43,921 --> 00:55:45,561
Get to know each other. Know what I mean?

1200
00:55:45,630 --> 00:55:48,921
Like, eye to eye, really connect.
Tell me about your favorite band.

1201
00:55:50,046 --> 00:55:53,505
I'm going to the casino.
Maybe I'll get lucky there.

1202
00:55:53,588 --> 00:55:56,463
Look, look, look!
Please don't tell anybody about this

1203
00:55:56,546 --> 00:55:58,713
'cause I've got some mad sex cred
in these parts, yeah.

1204
00:55:58,796 --> 00:55:59,921
My people know me.

1205
00:56:00,005 --> 00:56:01,296
I'll buy you a hat!

1206
00:56:02,963 --> 00:56:05,088
I can't believe this just happened.

1207
00:56:05,171 --> 00:56:06,546
Okay, okay.

1208
00:56:08,046 --> 00:56:09,588
All right. We gotta calm down.

1209
00:56:09,671 --> 00:56:11,796
- This has been a really weird day, huh?
- Yeah.

1210
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:13,671
Okay. Let's just get out of this place.

1211
00:56:13,755 --> 00:56:17,296
Absolutely.
Someplace with beer though, please.

1212
00:56:17,380 --> 00:56:18,796
"I'll go buy you a hat."

1213
00:56:21,713 --> 00:56:24,588
Sergei was trying to tell us
the Colonel did it,

1214
00:56:24,671 --> 00:56:27,713
but then he gets shot.
There's no way the Colonel shot him

1215
00:56:27,796 --> 00:56:29,516
'cause the Colonel was having
a floss party.

1216
00:56:29,546 --> 00:56:31,866
Did you see how crazy he was going
with the teeth flossing?

1217
00:56:31,921 --> 00:56:34,255
- I did.
- What did he have in there? A buffet?

1218
00:56:38,463 --> 00:56:40,171
- Um...
- Oh, my gosh.

1219
00:56:45,213 --> 00:56:46,963
- What's he saying?
- I don't know.

1220
00:56:47,046 --> 00:56:49,171
Well, you took French in high school,
didn't you?

1221
00:56:49,255 --> 00:56:52,380
I don't remember high school!
What did you take in high school?

1222
00:56:52,463 --> 00:56:54,588
- Latin.
- Oh, great. Who takes freakin' Latin?

1223
00:56:54,671 --> 00:56:56,431
- People who have a hot Latin teacher.
- Shh!

1224
00:56:58,796 --> 00:57:00,963
Okay, so something, something...

1225
00:57:01,046 --> 00:57:03,296
Something cake. Something's frosted.

1226
00:57:03,380 --> 00:57:04,700
Okay. You're fired. You're fired.

1227
00:57:04,755 --> 00:57:06,338
- Okay, I told you...
- Excuse me, sir.

1228
00:57:06,421 --> 00:57:09,255
Could you translate that for us, please?
<i>S'il vous plaît?</i>

1229
00:57:09,671 --> 00:57:11,713
Uh, the TV says that, uh...

1230
00:57:12,380 --> 00:57:14,630
you are the most wanted... for...

1231
00:57:15,713 --> 00:57:16,713
for <i>meurtre.</i>

1232
00:57:16,796 --> 00:57:18,505
- No, no, no.
- Okay, no, no. We...

1233
00:57:18,588 --> 00:57:20,505
This is a complete misunderstanding, okay?

1234
00:57:20,588 --> 00:57:22,005
We were just around...

1235
00:57:22,088 --> 00:57:24,213
- We saw...
- ...a lot of people that happened to die,

1236
00:57:24,296 --> 00:57:25,421
but we didn't <i>murt.</i>

1237
00:57:25,505 --> 00:57:28,296
You are to be arrested at first sight.

1238
00:57:28,380 --> 00:57:29,880
- Us?
- So, here's what we do.

1239
00:57:29,963 --> 00:57:32,505
What are you talking about?
What are you doing?

1240
00:57:32,588 --> 00:57:34,505
They can't track our SIM card now.

1241
00:57:34,588 --> 00:57:36,505
Yeah, then pull the SIM card out.

1242
00:57:36,588 --> 00:57:39,005
You don't just submerge our phones
into a bucket of beer.

1243
00:57:39,088 --> 00:57:42,713
Now... Now he's saying
that madame is hairdresser,

1244
00:57:42,796 --> 00:57:44,963
you are, uh... police officer?

1245
00:57:45,421 --> 00:57:46,921
No, he's... he's a detective.

1246
00:57:47,213 --> 00:57:48,338
Ah. No, he's not.

1247
00:57:48,421 --> 00:57:49,856
- Yes, he is.
- Yes, I am! Yes, I am!

1248
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:52,338
No, no, no.
He says that you have, uh, confessed

1249
00:57:52,421 --> 00:57:54,213
to lying about that you are detective.

1250
00:57:54,505 --> 00:57:56,296
What? No. Now he's making stuff up.

1251
00:57:56,380 --> 00:57:59,130
TV says you have failed
your detective exam many, many times.

1252
00:57:59,213 --> 00:58:01,630
All right! Enough <i>translato.</i> That's not...

1253
00:58:01,713 --> 00:58:03,921
You're just improvising, pal,
and it's getting weird.

1254
00:58:04,005 --> 00:58:05,325
What... What is he talking about?

1255
00:58:05,380 --> 00:58:07,340
<i>I will repeat this message
in English.</i>

1256
00:58:07,796 --> 00:58:08,963
<i>Nick Spitz...</i>

1257
00:58:09,380 --> 00:58:10,671
<i>is many things,</i>

1258
00:58:10,755 --> 00:58:12,046
<i>but not a detective.</i>

1259
00:58:14,463 --> 00:58:15,588
Well, I heard that.

1260
00:58:15,671 --> 00:58:17,713
<i>I will repeat this message
in Spanish.</i>

1261
00:58:17,796 --> 00:58:18,921
Did you lie to me?

1262
00:58:19,963 --> 00:58:21,505
I didn't... I didn't lie.

1263
00:58:21,588 --> 00:58:23,548
- The guy... The guy was...
- Oh, God. No, no, no.

1264
00:58:24,338 --> 00:58:26,046
Whoa. Hey.

1265
00:58:26,130 --> 00:58:28,046
- No.
- Hun, hun, hun.

1266
00:58:28,296 --> 00:58:30,880
This whole thing's just...
just very complicated.

1267
00:58:30,963 --> 00:58:33,921
Complicated, yeah.
I thought people were simple.

1268
00:58:34,005 --> 00:58:36,046
Audrey, please.

1269
00:58:36,130 --> 00:58:38,880
What? Did you lie
about getting that raise, too?

1270
00:58:40,921 --> 00:58:43,130
How are we affording this trip?

1271
00:58:44,213 --> 00:58:47,380
You made me feel like
I had to take you on this honeymoon.

1272
00:58:47,463 --> 00:58:50,755
You told me
you already booked this honeymoon.

1273
00:58:51,171 --> 00:58:53,380
You gave this to me.
This was my anniversary gift.

1274
00:58:53,463 --> 00:58:55,088
- Okay.
- You lied about that, too?

1275
00:58:55,171 --> 00:58:56,630
We'll get into all that, okay?

1276
00:58:56,713 --> 00:59:00,213
But right now, I gotta figure out
how we're gonna get out of this situation.

1277
00:59:00,296 --> 00:59:03,130
You have to figure this out?
What do you think I've been doing?

1278
00:59:03,213 --> 00:59:05,005
This is what I do for a living,
sweetheart!

1279
00:59:05,088 --> 00:59:06,796
You're a goddamn hairdresser!

1280
00:59:09,171 --> 00:59:10,255
- I'm sorry.
- Whoa.

1281
00:59:12,921 --> 00:59:15,088
- Where you going?
- I need a minute.

1282
00:59:15,171 --> 00:59:17,171
We don't have a minute!

1283
00:59:17,255 --> 00:59:19,421
Just leave me alone. Don't you follow me.

1284
00:59:39,755 --> 00:59:41,955
You need to get out
of Monte Carlo right away.

1285
00:59:42,546 --> 00:59:44,786
I got you into this,
I'll help get you out. Come with me.

1286
00:59:45,380 --> 00:59:47,300
- Now! We have to go.
- Right.

1287
00:59:49,546 --> 00:59:51,706
- Lake Como, back roads.
- Yes, sir.

1288
00:59:55,338 --> 00:59:57,498
- Where's Nick?
- I don't know. I don't care.

1289
01:00:25,963 --> 01:00:27,588
<i>Jimmy boy, it's Nick.</i>

1290
01:00:27,671 --> 01:00:29,255
Where are you?

1291
01:00:29,338 --> 01:00:31,130
You guys are all over the news.

1292
01:00:31,213 --> 01:00:32,630
They say you killed three people.

1293
01:00:32,713 --> 01:00:33,921
Do you think that's possible?

1294
01:00:34,671 --> 01:00:36,296
With your aim? Hell, no.

1295
01:00:36,380 --> 01:00:39,380
Exactly. Now I'm gonna text you
two international numbers.

1296
01:00:39,463 --> 01:00:41,903
Can you link them together
so I can follow one from the other?

1297
01:00:42,255 --> 01:00:44,046
Are you trying to get my ass fired?

1298
01:00:44,130 --> 01:00:46,046
But hell, yeah.

1299
01:00:46,130 --> 01:00:46,963
<i>Thank you.</i>

1300
01:00:47,046 --> 01:00:49,796
There's one more thing
I want you to check into for me.

1301
01:00:54,296 --> 01:00:55,630
What are we doing?

1302
01:00:55,713 --> 01:00:58,255
I just have to dash in
for a quick appointment with my lawyer.

1303
01:00:58,671 --> 01:01:00,897
We're going to read Malcolm's will
at the villa later on,

1304
01:01:00,921 --> 01:01:02,755
and I'm going to get what's mine.

1305
01:01:02,838 --> 01:01:06,005
Charles, that just sounded
very suspicious.

1306
01:01:06,421 --> 01:01:07,921
What about this week doesn't?

1307
01:01:15,296 --> 01:01:16,338
Oh, God.

1308
01:01:21,046 --> 01:01:22,505
Oh, my God. Claritin.

1309
01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:27,505
This is Japanese Claritin.

1310
01:02:16,588 --> 01:02:17,588
Hello?

1311
01:02:19,838 --> 01:02:20,838
Charles?

1312
01:02:27,088 --> 01:02:27,921
Audrey!

1313
01:02:28,921 --> 01:02:30,005
- Ow!
- God!

1314
01:02:30,088 --> 01:02:31,106
- Ow!
- What the...

1315
01:02:31,130 --> 01:02:32,130
What the...

1316
01:02:32,713 --> 01:02:34,338
What are you doing here?

1317
01:02:34,421 --> 01:02:37,088
I followed Suzi here.

1318
01:02:37,171 --> 01:02:38,588
- Suzi's here?
- Yes.

1319
01:02:38,671 --> 01:02:42,421
Okay, Cavendish came here to find Suzi.
I'm telling you, Cavendish is in on this.

1320
01:02:42,505 --> 01:02:43,630
I know. I knew that!

1321
01:02:43,713 --> 01:02:46,630
Okay. I just found
a box of Japanese Claritin

1322
01:02:46,713 --> 01:02:49,046
in the back of Cavendish's limo.

1323
01:02:49,130 --> 01:02:51,210
So what? They were planning this
the whole damn time?

1324
01:02:51,255 --> 01:02:53,088
The whole time. This was their plan.

1325
01:02:53,171 --> 01:02:55,171
- So they kill Malcolm, they kill Tobey...
- Yeah.

1326
01:02:55,255 --> 01:02:57,338
...before Malcolm has time
to sign the new will.

1327
01:02:57,421 --> 01:02:59,546
- Right.
- That way, Cavendish inherits everything.

1328
01:02:59,838 --> 01:03:01,130
And he splits it with Suzi.

1329
01:03:01,213 --> 01:03:03,713
And if they killed him after,
then Suzi would have inherited.

1330
01:03:03,796 --> 01:03:05,939
- They still would have split that.
- It was a win-win.

1331
01:03:05,963 --> 01:03:06,963
Oh, look at that.

1332
01:03:07,505 --> 01:03:08,921
Who figured that whole thing out?

1333
01:03:09,380 --> 01:03:11,296
The hairdresser. Mm-mm. The hairdresser.

1334
01:03:16,171 --> 01:03:17,421
I got you!

1335
01:03:17,505 --> 01:03:18,505
Jesus! Oh, my God.

1336
01:03:18,796 --> 01:03:20,296
It's just like <i>Death at the Library!</i>

1337
01:03:20,380 --> 01:03:22,255
What happens in <i>Death at the Library?</i>

1338
01:03:22,755 --> 01:03:25,130
They died. That's why it's called
<i>Death at the Library.</i>

1339
01:03:29,463 --> 01:03:31,130
Nick, what are you doing?

1340
01:03:31,630 --> 01:03:33,710
We are going to push this over
on the count of three,

1341
01:03:33,755 --> 01:03:35,595
- and then we're gonna run.
- We're gonna what?

1342
01:03:35,755 --> 01:03:37,588
- Don't you trust me?
- No!

1343
01:03:38,255 --> 01:03:39,880
Ready? One!

1344
01:03:41,380 --> 01:03:42,630
Two!

1345
01:03:43,338 --> 01:03:44,588
Three!

1346
01:03:56,255 --> 01:03:57,505
Oh, look! There!

1347
01:04:03,588 --> 01:04:06,088
Oh! Sorry! Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry.

1348
01:04:06,171 --> 01:04:07,171
Come on.

1349
01:04:10,630 --> 01:04:11,990
- Is that...
- Is that Juan Carlos?

1350
01:04:12,088 --> 01:04:14,005
- Juan Carlos!
- Hey!

1351
01:04:14,296 --> 01:04:15,171
Hello!

1352
01:04:15,255 --> 01:04:16,421
- Juan Carlos!
- How am I?

1353
01:04:16,505 --> 01:04:18,564
- No, no. Suzi! Suzi!
- Suzi! Suzi! Which way is Suzi?

1354
01:04:18,588 --> 01:04:20,963
- Married to Malcolm.
- You two married! Good!

1355
01:04:21,046 --> 01:04:22,046
- No!
- No!

1356
01:04:22,130 --> 01:04:25,963
<i>Suzi vidisti?
Putamus esse illa interfectorem.</i>

1357
01:04:26,421 --> 01:04:28,255
- Yes!
- Latin, baby!

1358
01:04:28,338 --> 01:04:30,106
- Still the international language!
- I got it!

1359
01:04:32,255 --> 01:04:33,296
Shit.

1360
01:04:35,046 --> 01:04:36,255
- Oh!
- Yeah!

1361
01:04:41,963 --> 01:04:42,963
Where'd she go?

1362
01:04:43,588 --> 01:04:44,630
She was right there.

1363
01:04:45,213 --> 01:04:47,755
You should have never come to Lake Como.

1364
01:04:48,046 --> 01:04:50,130
- Wait a minute.
- We know about you and Cavendish.

1365
01:04:50,213 --> 01:04:52,713
- You know nothing.
- We know you're still in love,

1366
01:04:52,796 --> 01:04:54,880
and we know that love is tough
without money.

1367
01:04:54,963 --> 01:04:55,963
Isn't it, Suzi?

1368
01:04:56,088 --> 01:04:58,380
I'll take your word for it.
You're the one whose shoes

1369
01:04:58,463 --> 01:05:00,103
still got a sticker from Marshalls on it.

1370
01:05:00,130 --> 01:05:02,210
- They have name brands now!
- How dare you?

1371
01:05:02,255 --> 01:05:03,897
- They have name brands now!
- How dare you?

1372
01:05:03,921 --> 01:05:05,713
- What?
- These are from Target.

1373
01:05:05,796 --> 01:05:08,130
- How could you not tell me?
- I don't look at your...

1374
01:05:08,213 --> 01:05:09,671
Shut up!

1375
01:05:09,755 --> 01:05:12,255
- Oh!
- Suzi, don't. Please, don't do this.

1376
01:05:12,338 --> 01:05:14,898
No matter what you do,
you're not gonna be safe. I'm telling you.

1377
01:05:14,963 --> 01:05:17,255
One murderer always double-crosses
the other murderer.

1378
01:05:17,338 --> 01:05:19,880
- She reads the books.
- It's just a cliché of the genre!

1379
01:05:19,963 --> 01:05:21,296
I'm telling you!

1380
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:25,463
Hey! Halloween!

1381
01:05:27,171 --> 01:05:28,671
No, no, no! Oh, my God!

1382
01:05:28,755 --> 01:05:29,755
Go, go, go!

1383
01:05:30,005 --> 01:05:32,130
Cavendish, you move,
I'll blow your head off!

1384
01:05:35,296 --> 01:05:36,463
Shoot <i>at </i>him!

1385
01:05:40,505 --> 01:05:42,463
Oh, babe, you're the worst shot!

1386
01:05:42,713 --> 01:05:45,088
Those were warning shots, honey!

1387
01:05:45,171 --> 01:05:47,296
- Oh, yes! I go fast!
- Go!

1388
01:05:48,380 --> 01:05:50,880
Ambulance! <i>Emergencia!</i>

1389
01:05:53,921 --> 01:05:54,921
Oh!

1390
01:06:00,213 --> 01:06:02,380
Okay, Suzi.
You've gotta tell me who did this.

1391
01:06:02,463 --> 01:06:03,921
Slow down. Don't use your words.

1392
01:06:04,005 --> 01:06:06,130
Let's charade it, okay.
Just tell me with your hand.

1393
01:06:06,588 --> 01:06:08,463
Uh, claw. Bear claw.

1394
01:06:08,546 --> 01:06:09,880
No. Grizzly bear claw.

1395
01:06:09,963 --> 01:06:11,671
Oh! Chewy. Chewy.

1396
01:06:11,755 --> 01:06:13,463
So it's Sergei? No, Sergei's dead.

1397
01:06:13,963 --> 01:06:15,046
Hey!

1398
01:06:16,130 --> 01:06:19,046
Have you got tires on your feet? Good God!

1399
01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:21,838
Spooning. Eating. Uh...

1400
01:06:21,921 --> 01:06:23,838
Ice cream. No, no. Gelato. Gelato?

1401
01:06:23,921 --> 01:06:26,880
Oh, God. It's amazing how pretty
you are when you're... I'm sorry.

1402
01:06:27,130 --> 01:06:27,963
Hey.

1403
01:06:28,046 --> 01:06:29,505
Hey! Come on!

1404
01:06:31,921 --> 01:06:33,255
Oh, shoot!

1405
01:06:45,463 --> 01:06:46,380
Hey!

1406
01:06:49,838 --> 01:06:51,505
Ba-ba-ba-ba!

1407
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:54,005
Crazy... crazy... Crazy mad love!

1408
01:06:54,255 --> 01:06:56,463
It's crazy 'cause you're madly in love
with Cavendish.

1409
01:06:57,005 --> 01:06:59,005
It's Cavendish, no?
<i>Sleeping With the Ene...</i>

1410
01:06:59,088 --> 01:07:00,130
Sleeping.

1411
01:07:00,213 --> 01:07:01,338
You're not sleeping.

1412
01:07:01,630 --> 01:07:04,213
- She's dead now?
- I don't know why this keeps happening!

1413
01:07:04,296 --> 01:07:06,088
<i>Let's go!
We gotta get out of here.</i>

1414
01:07:06,171 --> 01:07:08,011
- <i>Oh, my God. Come on.
- Where?</i>

1415
01:07:08,838 --> 01:07:11,171
Close the airports! Search house to house!

1416
01:07:11,255 --> 01:07:14,088
As God as my witness,
I will find Nick and Audrey Spitz.

1417
01:07:14,838 --> 01:07:16,005
- Inspector?
- Yes?

1418
01:07:16,088 --> 01:07:18,421
I have Nick and Audrey Spitz
on the phone for you.

1419
01:07:18,505 --> 01:07:20,296
- Huh?
- Nick and Audrey Spitz.

1420
01:07:22,546 --> 01:07:23,546
Where are you?

1421
01:07:23,713 --> 01:07:26,338
We are on our way
to Quince's villa right now.

1422
01:07:27,046 --> 01:07:29,213
Oh, okay.

1423
01:07:29,296 --> 01:07:32,046
I'm sorry, I wasn't prepared
for you to actually answer that.

1424
01:07:32,463 --> 01:07:33,880
We are being framed right now.

1425
01:07:33,963 --> 01:07:36,921
You meet us at the villa,
we will reveal the killer.

1426
01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:38,880
That kinda rhymed.

1427
01:07:39,838 --> 01:07:41,005
Which is cool, I think.

1428
01:07:51,880 --> 01:07:53,671
- Look at this place.
- Let's go.

1429
01:07:53,755 --> 01:07:55,630
- Oh, my God.
- This is big.

1430
01:07:55,713 --> 01:07:59,463
This is a big house.
This is what they call rich people shit.

1431
01:07:59,546 --> 01:08:01,588
<i>Lord Cavendish is expecting us.</i>

1432
01:08:01,921 --> 01:08:03,671
Second floor, eighth door on the left.

1433
01:08:03,755 --> 01:08:05,635
Yes, that's right.
That's what he told us, yeah.

1434
01:08:05,671 --> 01:08:08,755
Okay, so take a five-spotter.

1435
01:08:08,838 --> 01:08:11,588
Your five euros is how much American-wise?

1436
01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:13,005
Six American dollars.

1437
01:08:13,088 --> 01:08:15,296
Oh, that's, uh... that's more than I...

1438
01:08:15,380 --> 01:08:18,100
- Can I get a half a euro back...
- Oh, God. Please, Nick. Thank you.

1439
01:08:18,171 --> 01:08:20,171
I didn't know they were ahead of us
with the money.

1440
01:08:20,921 --> 01:08:23,046
- Second floor...
- I got no bullets left,

1441
01:08:23,130 --> 01:08:25,796
so we'll bluff 'em
until Interpol gets here.

1442
01:08:25,880 --> 01:08:27,560
Honey, you just gotta be careful.

1443
01:08:27,588 --> 01:08:30,546
This guy has killed four people,
that we know of.

1444
01:08:30,838 --> 01:08:32,921
Good news is, we know who did it.

1445
01:08:33,005 --> 01:08:34,671
- Okay.
- Hard part is over with.

1446
01:08:34,755 --> 01:08:35,630
Okay.

1447
01:08:35,713 --> 01:08:36,713
And...

1448
01:08:37,130 --> 01:08:38,255
What's up, Dish?

1449
01:08:38,630 --> 01:08:41,005
Stay still!
I'll shoot you right in the six-pack!

1450
01:08:41,088 --> 01:08:42,755
- You hear me, bitch?
- Calm down, babe.

1451
01:08:43,046 --> 01:08:45,838
Make a move! I dare you!

1452
01:08:45,921 --> 01:08:46,838
I dare...

1453
01:08:46,921 --> 01:08:47,921
Oh, my God!

1454
01:08:48,088 --> 01:08:49,505
- He's dead.
- He's dead.

1455
01:08:49,838 --> 01:08:51,171
- Okay, he's dead.
- Oh, my God.

1456
01:08:51,255 --> 01:08:53,755
- What the hell?
- Oh, God. Case reopened, babe.

1457
01:08:53,838 --> 01:08:55,505
They must have poisoned his drink!

1458
01:08:55,588 --> 01:08:57,671
- Nick!
- And look at his face. It's...

1459
01:08:57,755 --> 01:09:01,130
I mean, besides the foaming mouth,
he still kinda looks good.

1460
01:09:01,213 --> 01:09:02,296
What is with this man?

1461
01:09:03,671 --> 01:09:06,272
We told the police. We called the police.
We told 'em to come here.

1462
01:09:06,296 --> 01:09:07,671
- Yes.
- We've got to stop them.

1463
01:09:08,046 --> 01:09:11,463
It's not like canceling a pizza, honey.
You tell 'em to show up, they show up.

1464
01:09:11,546 --> 01:09:13,463
If he's not the killer, who is the killer?

1465
01:09:13,546 --> 01:09:16,796
And if we don't know who the killer is
before they get here, we're screwed!

1466
01:09:16,880 --> 01:09:17,963
Do you understand this?

1467
01:09:18,046 --> 01:09:19,880
He's gotta be here in this house.

1468
01:09:19,963 --> 01:09:23,463
This is gorgeous wallpaper.
Is that fabric? Is this embossed?

1469
01:09:23,546 --> 01:09:26,880
Sweetheart, you're losing it!
You're making me nuts right now!

1470
01:09:26,963 --> 01:09:28,171
No, I know. Hold on. Okay.

1471
01:09:28,255 --> 01:09:29,880
All right, it's good.

1472
01:09:29,963 --> 01:09:31,123
You all right? You breathing?

1473
01:09:31,171 --> 01:09:33,130
- I have to breathe through this.
- Look at me.

1474
01:09:33,921 --> 01:09:35,963
- We gotta turn ourselves in.
- Wait, what?

1475
01:09:36,046 --> 01:09:38,505
They're all gonna show up.
If we run, they're gonna shoot us.

1476
01:09:38,588 --> 01:09:40,463
What do you mean?
We're gonna just go to jail?

1477
01:09:40,546 --> 01:09:42,421
It's better than getting shot, ain't it?

1478
01:09:43,171 --> 01:09:45,171
I don't feel... I don't feel good.

1479
01:09:45,255 --> 01:09:46,588
- Babe.
- Oh, God.

1480
01:09:46,671 --> 01:09:47,963
It's an Italian prison.

1481
01:09:48,046 --> 01:09:49,755
You know the food's gonna be incredible.

1482
01:09:49,838 --> 01:09:52,296
We'll have meatballs
and pesto sauce and all that.

1483
01:09:52,380 --> 01:09:54,213
It's not co-ed, honey. All right?

1484
01:09:54,296 --> 01:09:56,255
We're... We're not gonna be
in jail together.

1485
01:09:56,338 --> 01:09:57,338
I know.

1486
01:09:57,671 --> 01:09:58,880
Why did you lie to me?

1487
01:10:02,213 --> 01:10:03,213
'Cause I was...

1488
01:10:03,713 --> 01:10:05,755
I was, uh... I was embarrassed.

1489
01:10:06,046 --> 01:10:07,088
With me?

1490
01:10:07,796 --> 01:10:09,255
Why? I...

1491
01:10:09,755 --> 01:10:12,630
I could've helped you figure that out.
That's why we're together.

1492
01:10:12,713 --> 01:10:13,713
I know.

1493
01:10:13,838 --> 01:10:16,380
Remember when I couldn't pay
my rent at the salon,

1494
01:10:16,463 --> 01:10:20,713
and then you were like, "Oh, okay."
You got that boot off my landlord's car.

1495
01:10:21,005 --> 01:10:23,130
- That got me another week.
- Yeah, I remember.

1496
01:10:23,213 --> 01:10:25,253
Remember when your cholesterol
was through the roof?

1497
01:10:25,505 --> 01:10:28,213
And then I made you eat egg whites?
You hate egg whites.

1498
01:10:28,296 --> 01:10:30,088
And I made you do it,
and I did it with you.

1499
01:10:30,171 --> 01:10:32,755
You helped me not miss yolks anymore.

1500
01:10:32,838 --> 01:10:34,981
That's right. That's what we do.
We do things together.

1501
01:10:35,005 --> 01:10:38,380
So can we please
just figure this out, too?

1502
01:10:38,463 --> 01:10:40,255
We just don't know who did it.

1503
01:10:40,338 --> 01:10:42,546
But Nick, we know who didn't do it.

1504
01:10:42,630 --> 01:10:43,921
- All right?
- Right.

1505
01:10:44,005 --> 01:10:48,046
So let's just go downstairs
and act like we figured it out.

1506
01:10:48,546 --> 01:10:51,463
If we're gonna do that, we gotta...
we just gotta look confident.

1507
01:10:51,546 --> 01:10:54,380
All right. If we're gonna look confident,
we've gotta dress it.

1508
01:10:54,463 --> 01:10:56,296
I already know what I wanna wear.

1509
01:10:56,671 --> 01:10:57,671
What?

1510
01:11:11,380 --> 01:11:12,630
What's up, fools?

1511
01:11:12,713 --> 01:11:15,005
Okay, we solved the case. Boom.

1512
01:11:15,088 --> 01:11:18,213
Yo, yo! Where'd you get the clothes?
It's a little much.

1513
01:11:18,713 --> 01:11:19,588
Um...

1514
01:11:19,671 --> 01:11:22,796
I found this beautiful dress
in a random closet.

1515
01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:25,255
- You're looking gorgeous, by the way.
- Thanks, baby.

1516
01:11:25,338 --> 01:11:27,963
- And he got this stunning tux...
- Mm-hmm.

1517
01:11:28,338 --> 01:11:29,338
...off a...

1518
01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:31,255
Oh, why candy-coat it?

1519
01:11:31,338 --> 01:11:32,463
- A corpse.
- Yeah.

1520
01:11:32,546 --> 01:11:33,838
There's another corpse?

1521
01:11:33,921 --> 01:11:35,296
Jeez! Sorry, yes.

1522
01:11:35,380 --> 01:11:37,046
Upstairs, eighth door on the left.

1523
01:11:38,046 --> 01:11:40,505
To whom does this dead corpse belong?

1524
01:11:40,588 --> 01:11:41,921
Oh, yeah. You guys don't know.

1525
01:11:42,005 --> 01:11:43,272
- Bad news, guys.
- It's terrible.

1526
01:11:43,296 --> 01:11:44,213
Cavendish is dead.

1527
01:11:45,630 --> 01:11:48,213
You stole the tux off Charlie's dead body?

1528
01:11:48,296 --> 01:11:50,814
And it fits perfectly.
Little tight in the crotch, to be honest.

1529
01:11:50,838 --> 01:11:52,897
Just kidding. No, he's got me beat.
He's got me beat.

1530
01:11:52,921 --> 01:11:54,588
Wait. Where's Suzi?

1531
01:11:54,963 --> 01:11:56,338
- She's dead.
- Dead.

1532
01:11:56,421 --> 01:11:57,421
- Oh!
- Oh, my God!

1533
01:11:57,505 --> 01:12:00,213
Y'all are like the miniature
Manson Family!

1534
01:12:00,296 --> 01:12:01,772
- No, no, no.
- Nick and Audrey Spitz,

1535
01:12:01,796 --> 01:12:03,463
- you are under arrest.
- Listen.

1536
01:12:03,546 --> 01:12:05,171
<i>Ferme la bouche.</i> Is that what it is?

1537
01:12:05,255 --> 01:12:07,921
- Just give us a second. We got this.
- We got this. Let's go.

1538
01:12:08,005 --> 01:12:09,005
Thank you.

1539
01:12:10,171 --> 01:12:13,880
All right. Ladies and gentlemen,
let's review the facts.

1540
01:12:13,963 --> 01:12:14,838
Malcolm Quince,

1541
01:12:14,921 --> 01:12:16,796
he was the first to get murdered.

1542
01:12:16,880 --> 01:12:18,505
We all assumed it was Tobey.

1543
01:12:18,588 --> 01:12:20,796
- No, we all assumed you did it.
- Mm-hmm.

1544
01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:23,505
- Okay.
- Yeah, but Tobey hated his father,

1545
01:12:23,588 --> 01:12:26,546
and he stood to inherit
billions of dollars.

1546
01:12:26,630 --> 01:12:29,171
- Until he caught some lead to the dome.
- Mm-hmm.

1547
01:12:29,255 --> 01:12:31,380
- Can you feel me, Raja?
- Pew-pew-pew!

1548
01:12:31,671 --> 01:12:32,796
- There it is.
- And then,

1549
01:12:32,880 --> 01:12:36,005
before Sergei was shot,
he told us that the Colonel did it.

1550
01:12:36,088 --> 01:12:37,088
He told you what?

1551
01:12:37,171 --> 01:12:40,421
But we know you didn't do it, Colonel,
because we saw you flossing your teeth

1552
01:12:40,505 --> 01:12:42,463
when we were shimmying
by your window that night.

1553
01:12:42,755 --> 01:12:45,505
You two were spying on me in my bathroom?

1554
01:12:45,588 --> 01:12:49,255
Trust me, I did... We saw a lot of shit
that night that I did not want to see.

1555
01:12:49,338 --> 01:12:52,921
I mean, apologize ahead of time.
We had to see you guys having sex.

1556
01:12:53,213 --> 01:12:54,296
You, um...

1557
01:12:54,380 --> 01:12:56,130
You... saw that?

1558
01:12:56,213 --> 01:12:57,880
Maharajah, some advice for you.

1559
01:12:57,963 --> 01:12:59,963
Maybe grab the bottom and squeeze.

1560
01:13:01,130 --> 01:13:02,546
Huh. Word.

1561
01:13:03,088 --> 01:13:03,921
Anyway...

1562
01:13:04,005 --> 01:13:05,213
French fries. Yes.

1563
01:13:05,296 --> 01:13:07,713
Actually, Juan Carlos,
you had nothing to do with this.

1564
01:13:07,796 --> 01:13:09,516
You couldn't have had anything
to do with it

1565
01:13:09,588 --> 01:13:12,255
because you were with us
when Suzi got killed.

1566
01:13:12,338 --> 01:13:14,058
- So it wasn't you.
- Mm-mm.

1567
01:13:14,130 --> 01:13:15,505
- It wasn't you.
- Mm-mm.

1568
01:13:15,588 --> 01:13:17,338
- It wasn't you.
- No.

1569
01:13:17,421 --> 01:13:18,546
It wasn't you.

1570
01:13:18,921 --> 01:13:20,463
Holy shit! Maybe we did do it.

1571
01:13:20,546 --> 01:13:22,005
- What?
- Did you?

1572
01:13:22,088 --> 01:13:24,048
- Because listen...
- What did you just say to me?

1573
01:13:24,130 --> 01:13:26,380
- I'm just messing around.
- There it is.

1574
01:13:26,463 --> 01:13:28,463
- And he's clapping.
- Going to jail. Thanks, babe.

1575
01:13:28,505 --> 01:13:31,463
I'm glad we finally
are all on the same page.

1576
01:13:31,755 --> 01:13:35,338
Now, since the first murder occurred
in French territorial waters,

1577
01:13:35,421 --> 01:13:38,838
I will be taking you to Paris
to be arraigned and tried.

1578
01:13:38,921 --> 01:13:41,064
At least we're going to Paris.
You always wanted to go.

1579
01:13:41,088 --> 01:13:43,921
Honey, if you keep making jokes
at a time like this,

1580
01:13:44,005 --> 01:13:45,505
it's not gonna make this go away.

1581
01:13:45,588 --> 01:13:48,838
Lucky for you, since 1977,

1582
01:13:48,921 --> 01:13:51,630
there has been no death penalty
under French law.

1583
01:13:52,005 --> 01:13:53,421
French law.

1584
01:13:53,505 --> 01:13:54,421
French law.

1585
01:13:54,505 --> 01:13:56,005
The French law. Yeah.

1586
01:13:56,088 --> 01:13:58,671
Surely, Inspector, you of all people

1587
01:13:58,755 --> 01:14:01,546
are familiar
with the French inheritance law.

1588
01:14:01,921 --> 01:14:03,880
Are you implying I have bastard children?

1589
01:14:04,505 --> 01:14:05,421
Well, I wasn't.

1590
01:14:05,505 --> 01:14:06,588
Because I do.

1591
01:14:06,671 --> 01:14:08,505
I was surprised you knew about them.

1592
01:14:08,796 --> 01:14:10,421
I love those little bastards.

1593
01:14:10,755 --> 01:14:14,880
Okay. Anyway, um,
the French law states that a man's estate

1594
01:14:14,963 --> 01:14:17,880
must be divided equally
amongst his children.

1595
01:14:18,171 --> 01:14:20,505
So it wouldn't matter what the will said.

1596
01:14:20,588 --> 01:14:22,213
Straight up, Maharajah.

1597
01:14:22,296 --> 01:14:26,380
The kids were gonna get the money,
whether the old man married Suzi or not.

1598
01:14:26,463 --> 01:14:29,421
Mm-hmm.
But both of Malcolm's children are dead.

1599
01:14:29,713 --> 01:14:31,255
- Both?
- Yes. Tobey,

1600
01:14:31,338 --> 01:14:34,463
and the son he had
with Madeleine LeBoutillier..

1601
01:14:34,546 --> 01:14:36,463
That boy died at childbirth.

1602
01:14:36,755 --> 01:14:37,755
Did he, Colonel?

1603
01:14:38,171 --> 01:14:40,171
I spoke to my partner in New York City.

1604
01:14:40,255 --> 01:14:43,713
I said, get the death certificates
for Madeleine and the son.

1605
01:14:43,796 --> 01:14:45,630
He could only find one for Madeleine.

1606
01:14:45,713 --> 01:14:48,189
But then I started thinking,
maybe there's no death certificate

1607
01:14:48,213 --> 01:14:49,796
because there was no death.

1608
01:14:49,880 --> 01:14:54,546
Nonsense. Malcolm desperately wanted a boy
to sire the next generation of Quinces.

1609
01:14:54,630 --> 01:14:56,255
He would never abandon a son.

1610
01:14:56,338 --> 01:14:57,338
But...

1611
01:14:58,171 --> 01:14:59,213
what if it was a daughter?

1612
01:14:59,296 --> 01:15:00,522
- Yes!
- What if it was a daughter?

1613
01:15:00,546 --> 01:15:01,921
The love of his life dies,

1614
01:15:02,005 --> 01:15:04,588
dies giving birth
to his unwanted daughter.

1615
01:15:04,671 --> 01:15:07,255
- Yes!
- It almost makes sense.

1616
01:15:07,338 --> 01:15:09,546
- It does! It kinda does!
- It makes total sense.

1617
01:15:09,630 --> 01:15:11,213
He gave her away.

1618
01:15:11,296 --> 01:15:12,421
Then where is she now?

1619
01:15:12,505 --> 01:15:15,171
Well, she could be anywhere.
She could have got married.

1620
01:15:15,255 --> 01:15:18,046
She could've joined a gang,
changed her name. Who knows? Carry on.

1621
01:15:18,338 --> 01:15:19,880
- Changed her name.
- Ah!

1622
01:15:19,963 --> 01:15:22,505
- You changed your name.
- Yes.

1623
01:15:22,588 --> 01:15:24,296
Your real last name isn't Ballard.

1624
01:15:24,588 --> 01:15:25,588
So?

1625
01:15:25,796 --> 01:15:27,796
Lots of artists change their names.

1626
01:15:27,880 --> 01:15:29,796
Lady Gaga's real name isn't Lady Gaga.

1627
01:15:29,880 --> 01:15:32,088
Yes, Lady Gaga. "Paparazzi," yes, good.

1628
01:15:32,171 --> 01:15:35,546
But every Grace Ballard superfan knows

1629
01:15:35,630 --> 01:15:37,755
your first movie was <i>Summer Wetdown.</i>

1630
01:15:37,838 --> 01:15:41,088
You had three lines,
and you went by your birth name,

1631
01:15:41,171 --> 01:15:42,671
Grace Butler.

1632
01:15:43,046 --> 01:15:46,005
Which, <i>en français,</i>
roughly translates to LeBoutillier.

1633
01:15:46,088 --> 01:15:48,588
Madeleine LeBoutillier, your mother.

1634
01:15:48,671 --> 01:15:49,588
This is a joke.

1635
01:15:49,671 --> 01:15:52,005
I wasn't even in the room
when Malcolm Quince was murdered.

1636
01:15:52,088 --> 01:15:55,171
Fine! Then Tobey killed him,
but he did it with a little help.

1637
01:15:55,255 --> 01:15:57,380
<i>The lights. You turned out the lights.</i>

1638
01:15:58,088 --> 01:16:01,463
<i>You convinced Tobey to kill Malcolm
so you could split the money with him.</i>

1639
01:16:03,588 --> 01:16:06,588
<i>And then you killed Tobey
so that you could just keep all of it.</i>

1640
01:16:06,671 --> 01:16:09,505
Then me and this girl
started asking too many questions.

1641
01:16:09,588 --> 01:16:10,921
So you had to get rid of us.

1642
01:16:14,588 --> 01:16:17,338
<i>Luckily, not for him,
but Sergei gets in the way.</i>

1643
01:16:18,463 --> 01:16:20,213
<i>Then you seduce the Maharajah</i>

1644
01:16:20,296 --> 01:16:23,088
<i>so that you would make us think
you were with him all night.</i>

1645
01:16:23,171 --> 01:16:26,505
Yo, you were just twizzlin'
on my wizzle for an alibi.

1646
01:16:26,588 --> 01:16:27,671
Girl, that's cold.

1647
01:16:27,755 --> 01:16:29,880
You tried to kill us in the library.

1648
01:16:30,463 --> 01:16:33,213
<i>You tried to kill us in the market,
but you got Suzi instead.</i>

1649
01:16:34,755 --> 01:16:36,213
- And the weapon...
- Hm!

1650
01:16:36,296 --> 01:16:38,463
- I recognize the weapon now.
- The dart?

1651
01:16:38,546 --> 01:16:41,314
It was a movie. I watched it one night.
You were out with your friends.

1652
01:16:41,338 --> 01:16:43,046
You came back drunk and, uh...

1653
01:16:43,130 --> 01:16:44,296
What the hell was it?

1654
01:16:44,880 --> 01:16:46,005
<i>Princess Blow Dart.</i>

1655
01:16:46,088 --> 01:16:47,088
Oh, God.

1656
01:16:47,130 --> 01:16:48,505
That is not the name of a movie.

1657
01:16:48,588 --> 01:16:49,630
It is! It is!

1658
01:16:49,713 --> 01:16:51,380
Yo, look at my screensaver.

1659
01:16:51,671 --> 01:16:53,421
- That's her!
- Oh, my gosh!

1660
01:16:53,505 --> 01:16:55,588
So then you killed Charles

1661
01:16:55,671 --> 01:16:59,505
<i>because you knew he would never rest
until he found out who Suzi's killer was.</i>

1662
01:17:00,088 --> 01:17:02,421
<i>'Cause he loved Suzi, not you!</i>

1663
01:17:02,505 --> 01:17:03,796
<i>The three motives:</i>

1664
01:17:03,880 --> 01:17:05,421
money, love, revenge.

1665
01:17:05,505 --> 01:17:06,755
You were the mastermind

1666
01:17:06,838 --> 01:17:09,046
behind Malcolm Quince's murders,
weren't you?

1667
01:17:09,130 --> 01:17:12,171
- And you were the one who framed us.
- You killed them all, didn't you?

1668
01:17:12,255 --> 01:17:13,296
Didn't you?

1669
01:17:13,963 --> 01:17:15,588
My father was a monster.

1670
01:17:17,755 --> 01:17:18,755
So you admit it?

1671
01:17:19,171 --> 01:17:20,171
Yes.

1672
01:17:20,755 --> 01:17:23,755
I am the daughter of Malcolm Quince
and Madeleine LeBoutillier,

1673
01:17:24,380 --> 01:17:27,421
and sole heir to the Quince fortune.

1674
01:17:27,671 --> 01:17:30,130
Uh, and... what about the murders?

1675
01:17:31,505 --> 01:17:33,046
Oh, I didn't do those.

1676
01:17:33,505 --> 01:17:36,338
But it couldn't have happened
to a nicer group of people.

1677
01:17:37,671 --> 01:17:38,671
So...

1678
01:17:39,130 --> 01:17:40,463
what other proof do you have?

1679
01:17:40,546 --> 01:17:42,171
- Of what?
- Proof of what?

1680
01:17:42,255 --> 01:17:43,796
That she killed everybody?

1681
01:17:44,255 --> 01:17:45,088
Yes.

1682
01:17:45,171 --> 01:17:46,880
Aren't you gonna do anything at all?

1683
01:17:47,338 --> 01:17:49,421
I mean, is there a French holiday
we're unaware of?

1684
01:17:49,505 --> 01:17:50,755
What the hell do you do?

1685
01:17:50,963 --> 01:17:51,963
Look...

1686
01:17:52,505 --> 01:17:54,796
I don't know
how you do things in Brooklyn,

1687
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:57,463
but here we need evidence
to make an arrest.

1688
01:17:57,546 --> 01:17:59,255
This is not
how this is supposed to happen.

1689
01:17:59,338 --> 01:18:03,005
The detective is supposed to explain
the murders, which we just did,

1690
01:18:03,088 --> 01:18:07,880
and then the killer is supposed to crack
and freak out under pressure and admit it!

1691
01:18:08,421 --> 01:18:09,588
If there's nothing else,

1692
01:18:09,671 --> 01:18:11,880
I'd like to start spending my money now.

1693
01:18:16,796 --> 01:18:19,171
The hat. The hat! Uh, take off your hat.

1694
01:18:20,630 --> 01:18:21,630
What?

1695
01:18:22,171 --> 01:18:24,005
I said take off your hat.

1696
01:18:25,755 --> 01:18:26,755
No.

1697
01:18:27,046 --> 01:18:29,921
The Maharajah bought me this hat,
and I quite like it.

1698
01:18:30,005 --> 01:18:32,421
Nick hit the killer in the head
with a plate.

1699
01:18:33,171 --> 01:18:35,046
And it left a mark, didn't it?

1700
01:18:35,671 --> 01:18:36,546
Also,

1701
01:18:36,630 --> 01:18:41,213
why on earth would you put a hat
on a freshly styled head of hair?

1702
01:18:41,296 --> 01:18:43,796
How would you know
my hair's been freshly styled?

1703
01:18:43,880 --> 01:18:46,255
'Cause she's a goddamn hairdresser.

1704
01:18:47,296 --> 01:18:49,046
Please remove your hat, Ms. Butler.

1705
01:18:49,630 --> 01:18:51,255
I'll do nothing of the kind.

1706
01:18:55,380 --> 01:18:58,296
The butler did it. Grace Butler did it!
Grace But... Right?

1707
01:18:58,380 --> 01:19:00,796
- I said it on the plane.
- You had to do it!

1708
01:19:00,880 --> 01:19:02,130
- Stay back!
- Jesus!

1709
01:19:02,505 --> 01:19:03,505
Everybody!

1710
01:19:06,255 --> 01:19:08,130
- Oh, my God!
- Son of a bitch.

1711
01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:09,963
- Wait! No, no.
- Whoa!

1712
01:19:10,046 --> 01:19:11,213
Nobody move!

1713
01:19:11,296 --> 01:19:12,755
Nobody move, or I'll shoot her.

1714
01:19:12,838 --> 01:19:14,421
Guns down. <i>Baissez vos armes.</i>

1715
01:19:22,588 --> 01:19:23,748
Get an ambulance.

1716
01:19:24,213 --> 01:19:26,380
Yo, I thought you said
he was a terrible shot.

1717
01:19:26,463 --> 01:19:28,630
Not when it comes to saving my woman.

1718
01:19:28,713 --> 01:19:31,421
I was aiming for her foot, by the way.

1719
01:19:32,005 --> 01:19:33,630
All right. It's all right.

1720
01:19:37,588 --> 01:19:40,296
Thank you for stepping in
and trying to stop her, Juan Carlos.

1721
01:19:40,380 --> 01:19:41,546
That was so brave.

1722
01:19:41,880 --> 01:19:42,921
<i>De nada, señora.</i>

1723
01:19:45,963 --> 01:19:48,921
I love that. I love that he's brave
and I'm, what, nothing?

1724
01:19:49,005 --> 01:19:51,755
- Are you kidding? I said you were brave.
<i>- </i>You didn't say it.

1725
01:19:51,838 --> 01:19:54,380
I said so many times.
"Nick, you were so brave."

1726
01:19:54,463 --> 01:19:57,005
<i>De nada, señora. </i>Halloween.

1727
01:19:58,005 --> 01:19:59,088
Yo, I got a question.

1728
01:19:59,755 --> 01:20:01,505
In the hotel in Monte Carlo,

1729
01:20:01,588 --> 01:20:03,505
you said that you saw
me and Grace together.

1730
01:20:03,796 --> 01:20:05,130
- We heard you.
- We heard you.

1731
01:20:05,213 --> 01:20:07,088
We didn't like what we heard,
but I'll tell...

1732
01:20:07,171 --> 01:20:09,380
- I'm sorry.
- I hope those are new pants, by the way.

1733
01:20:09,463 --> 01:20:11,213
Yeah, but...

1734
01:20:12,046 --> 01:20:13,088
But the truth is,

1735
01:20:13,171 --> 01:20:15,421
Grace and I were together in the bar

1736
01:20:15,505 --> 01:20:17,505
an hour before we got to our room,

1737
01:20:17,588 --> 01:20:20,046
so how could she have killed Sergei

1738
01:20:20,588 --> 01:20:21,713
if she was with me?

1739
01:20:24,338 --> 01:20:25,213
Nick.

1740
01:20:25,296 --> 01:20:26,296
Audrey.

1741
01:20:26,755 --> 01:20:29,213
How did Juan Carlos understand
my English just now?

1742
01:20:47,421 --> 01:20:48,546
Stop!

1743
01:20:55,421 --> 01:20:56,755
No! No!

1744
01:20:57,505 --> 01:20:58,963
Don't come any closer!

1745
01:20:59,046 --> 01:21:00,880
Aah! He speaks English!

1746
01:21:00,963 --> 01:21:02,796
I've spoken English my whole life,
you idiots,

1747
01:21:02,880 --> 01:21:04,463
and a dozen other languages.

1748
01:21:04,755 --> 01:21:06,588
And by the way, your Latin sucks.

1749
01:21:06,671 --> 01:21:08,046
You understood it!

1750
01:21:08,713 --> 01:21:12,005
Don't you even think about it, Colonel,
or I <i>will </i>shoot your dick off.

1751
01:21:13,963 --> 01:21:15,671
Put your hands up in the air, now.

1752
01:21:16,130 --> 01:21:18,838
I am the one who told her
to convince Tobey to kill his dad,

1753
01:21:19,088 --> 01:21:20,880
destroy this sick family

1754
01:21:20,963 --> 01:21:22,171
in the name of my father.

1755
01:21:26,546 --> 01:21:27,546
Get into the car.

1756
01:21:30,463 --> 01:21:31,546
Go in!

1757
01:21:31,838 --> 01:21:33,838
Back off!

1758
01:21:35,505 --> 01:21:36,588
I go fast.

1759
01:21:42,505 --> 01:21:43,505
Hey!

1760
01:21:45,005 --> 01:21:46,588
Look at that! A Ferrari!

1761
01:21:46,671 --> 01:21:47,838
- What?
- Testarossa!

1762
01:21:47,921 --> 01:21:49,296
<i>Magnum P.I.!</i> Me, baby!

1763
01:21:49,380 --> 01:21:50,671
I got the mustache!

1764
01:21:52,671 --> 01:21:54,213
Nick, you forgot the gun!

1765
01:21:54,296 --> 01:21:57,463
This is incredible!
This is a fantasy for everybody!

1766
01:21:57,546 --> 01:21:58,586
How does it open?

1767
01:21:58,630 --> 01:22:00,338
Underneath! Pull! Pull! Come on!

1768
01:22:00,755 --> 01:22:01,755
Oh, my God.

1769
01:22:03,130 --> 01:22:04,130
What the...

1770
01:22:04,421 --> 01:22:07,046
- Are you kidding me?
- I'm so sorry! I don't know what to say!

1771
01:22:07,130 --> 01:22:08,130
Go, go, go!

1772
01:22:19,630 --> 01:22:21,880
- Put your hands up. Hands up!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

1773
01:22:25,713 --> 01:22:26,796
All I'm saying is,

1774
01:22:26,880 --> 01:22:28,880
when the engine sounds like
your sister's voice...

1775
01:22:29,296 --> 01:22:32,130
irritating, high, and loud...
you gotta switch gears.

1776
01:22:32,213 --> 01:22:33,213
Ah.

1777
01:22:36,755 --> 01:22:38,046
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

1778
01:22:42,463 --> 01:22:43,463
Yes!

1779
01:22:43,505 --> 01:22:45,671
Look how nice you handle this thing!

1780
01:22:46,963 --> 01:22:49,213
<i>♪ I'm gonna take you down ♪</i>

1781
01:22:50,296 --> 01:22:52,046
<i>♪ Down, down, down... ♪</i>

1782
01:22:52,421 --> 01:22:53,546
Hey! Hey!

1783
01:22:53,630 --> 01:22:54,630
Hey!

1784
01:22:55,046 --> 01:22:56,686
- Honey, he's right up there.
- I see him.

1785
01:22:56,713 --> 01:22:58,963
<i>♪ I'm gonna pull it, pull it ♪</i>

1786
01:22:59,046 --> 01:23:00,338
<i>♪ Pull the trigger ♪</i>

1787
01:23:00,838 --> 01:23:01,838
<i>♪ Shoot to thrill ♪</i>

1788
01:23:02,338 --> 01:23:03,588
<i>♪ Play to kill ♪</i>

1789
01:23:04,255 --> 01:23:06,171
<i>♪ Too many women... ♪</i>

1790
01:23:07,421 --> 01:23:08,505
<i>♪ Shoot to thrill ♪</i>

1791
01:23:09,130 --> 01:23:10,171
<i>♪ Play to kill ♪</i>

1792
01:23:10,255 --> 01:23:14,630
<i>♪ I got my gun at the ready
Gonna fire at will, yeah ♪</i>

1793
01:23:16,755 --> 01:23:18,046
<i>♪ I'm like evil ♪</i>

1794
01:23:18,463 --> 01:23:20,005
<i>♪ I get under your skin... ♪</i>

1795
01:23:20,088 --> 01:23:21,296
Whoa!

1796
01:23:27,213 --> 01:23:28,380
Again!

1797
01:23:30,463 --> 01:23:32,921
Yeah! Baby, nice. Nice! Nice turn!

1798
01:23:33,005 --> 01:23:34,755
Look at you! Look at you!

1799
01:23:35,880 --> 01:23:39,088
Keep going. Keep after him.
Keep after him. Keep going.

1800
01:23:39,171 --> 01:23:40,505
Goat! Goat! Goat!

1801
01:23:41,463 --> 01:23:42,755
Holy cow!

1802
01:23:42,838 --> 01:23:45,088
Do you have any idea
how gorgeous you look?

1803
01:23:45,171 --> 01:23:47,505
Wait! Second goat! What the hell?

1804
01:23:47,588 --> 01:23:49,796
- Do you not like goats or something?
- I love them!

1805
01:23:57,088 --> 01:23:58,088
Idiots.

1806
01:24:04,921 --> 01:24:06,171
Oh, shit.

1807
01:24:11,088 --> 01:24:12,088
<i>♪ Shoot to thrill ♪</i>

1808
01:24:13,088 --> 01:24:14,088
<i>♪ Play to kill</i> ♪

1809
01:24:14,588 --> 01:24:17,338
<i>♪ Too many women with too many pills... ♪</i>

1810
01:24:17,421 --> 01:24:19,213
Keep going, baby. Go! Go! Go!

1811
01:24:19,296 --> 01:24:20,588
Go! Go! Go!

1812
01:24:24,838 --> 01:24:27,130
- Holy shit!
- Oh, God!

1813
01:24:29,421 --> 01:24:31,505
- We gotta pit him, honey.
- I gotta what him?

1814
01:24:31,588 --> 01:24:34,088
What you do is you hit the back bumper
and he'll just spin out.

1815
01:24:34,171 --> 01:24:35,814
- I can't do that. I can't...
- You got this.

1816
01:24:35,838 --> 01:24:37,518
I can't. He's a Formula 1 race car driver!

1817
01:24:39,630 --> 01:24:40,713
Faster! Come on!

1818
01:24:40,796 --> 01:24:43,005
This is our adventure.

1819
01:24:43,713 --> 01:24:44,713
Go for it.

1820
01:24:45,255 --> 01:24:47,588
I can do this. I love you. That was sweet.

1821
01:24:48,088 --> 01:24:49,130
Okay, here we go.

1822
01:24:50,713 --> 01:24:52,213
<i>♪ Shoot you ♪</i>

1823
01:24:52,296 --> 01:24:53,671
<i>♪ Shoot you ♪</i>

1824
01:24:54,421 --> 01:24:55,463
No!

1825
01:24:56,463 --> 01:24:58,772
He didn't spin. He didn't spin.
We just gotta take him out.

1826
01:24:58,796 --> 01:24:59,963
- Take him out!
- Here we go.

1827
01:25:00,046 --> 01:25:01,255
Floor it! Floor it!

1828
01:25:03,421 --> 01:25:04,630
Oh!

1829
01:25:04,713 --> 01:25:05,755
What?

1830
01:25:09,546 --> 01:25:11,386
Hit the brakes! Hit the brakes!
Hit the brakes!

1831
01:25:21,963 --> 01:25:24,838
Do you have any idea how cool you are?

1832
01:25:24,921 --> 01:25:27,005
- Happy anniversary, baby!
- Yeah.

1833
01:25:27,088 --> 01:25:28,088
Oh!

1834
01:25:31,671 --> 01:25:32,838
Oh, my God.

1835
01:25:32,921 --> 01:25:34,380
- Okay.
- Okay.

1836
01:25:34,463 --> 01:25:36,689
- I'm gonna go get that guy out of the car.
- Go get him.

1837
01:25:36,713 --> 01:25:37,588
I love you.

1838
01:25:37,671 --> 01:25:38,838
- I love you.
- Oh, my God.

1839
01:25:43,338 --> 01:25:44,838
Let's go. Let's go.

1840
01:25:44,921 --> 01:25:46,755
I got you. Come on.

1841
01:25:47,088 --> 01:25:49,046
All right.

1842
01:25:53,546 --> 01:25:55,130
I'm so sick of you, cop!

1843
01:25:55,213 --> 01:25:56,838
You should have never come here!

1844
01:25:56,921 --> 01:25:59,796
You should have just stayed home,
eating hot dogs,

1845
01:25:59,880 --> 01:26:02,880
reading <i>People </i>magazine,
and watching reality TV.

1846
01:26:08,046 --> 01:26:09,046
Baby.

1847
01:26:09,255 --> 01:26:11,796
You know, that was our...
That was our tour bus!

1848
01:26:11,880 --> 01:26:14,272
No toilets, no Wi-Fi,
and you're running over people?

1849
01:26:14,296 --> 01:26:17,921
- Brittany's hogging the window seat!
- I want to see the dead guy!

1850
01:26:18,005 --> 01:26:21,338
Just sit down and shut up!
I'm gonna take a picture!

1851
01:26:21,630 --> 01:26:23,630
- All right. I love you.
- Oh, my God, this guy...

1852
01:26:23,713 --> 01:26:25,689
- We gotta ask 'em how they age ham.
- I don't care!

1853
01:26:25,713 --> 01:26:26,546
Come on!

1854
01:26:26,630 --> 01:26:29,088
<i>♪ Do you love me too... ♪</i>

1855
01:26:29,171 --> 01:26:33,005
On behalf of Interpol,
I thank you, Mrs. Spitz.

1856
01:26:33,088 --> 01:26:34,963
You are as brilliant as you are beautiful.

1857
01:26:35,046 --> 01:26:37,796
Oh, my gosh.
Well, thank you for that.

1858
01:26:37,880 --> 01:26:40,421
- And Officer Spitz.
- I go, what? What?

1859
01:26:40,505 --> 01:26:42,630
It seems you are quite the detective
after all.

1860
01:26:42,713 --> 01:26:44,380
- You are!
- With this girl, yes.

1861
01:26:44,463 --> 01:26:47,546
Something I will be passing along
to your superiors in New York.

1862
01:26:47,630 --> 01:26:48,838
That would be big.

1863
01:26:48,921 --> 01:26:51,601
I have to tell you, I think
this entire experience was pretty great.

1864
01:26:51,630 --> 01:26:52,838
- Incredible.
- Yeah.

1865
01:26:52,921 --> 01:26:55,255
Outside of the murders,
it was on the money.

1866
01:26:55,338 --> 01:26:59,088
Well, I hope the rest of your trip,
which we have arranged for you,

1867
01:26:59,171 --> 01:27:00,296
is more relaxing.

1868
01:27:00,380 --> 01:27:01,796
<i>- Bon voyage.</i>
- Well, thank you.

1869
01:27:01,880 --> 01:27:04,255
You owe that to us,
but thank you so much.

1870
01:27:04,338 --> 01:27:06,171
You ever come to New York, you look us up.

1871
01:27:06,255 --> 01:27:10,046
We'll pin, uh, a triple homicide on you
or a kidnapping or something.

1872
01:27:11,255 --> 01:27:13,005
- Thank you. Okay.
- Thank you so much.

1873
01:27:13,088 --> 01:27:14,755
Good to meet you. All right. Be safe.

1874
01:27:15,171 --> 01:27:17,022
- Good anniversary, right?
- Amazing anniversary.

1875
01:27:17,046 --> 01:27:19,130
- Kind of... Kind of a cool one.
- Loved it!

1876
01:27:19,213 --> 01:27:21,053
What did you get me, by the way,
for a present?

1877
01:27:21,088 --> 01:27:22,255
What? Oh, uh...

1878
01:27:22,338 --> 01:27:24,088
I got you the Amazon gift card.

1879
01:27:24,171 --> 01:27:26,255
- You did?
- No, I didn't get you anything.

1880
01:27:26,338 --> 01:27:27,755
<i>♪ You will see ♪</i>

1881
01:27:28,130 --> 01:27:29,213
<i>♪ Finally</i> ♪

1882
01:27:29,296 --> 01:27:33,838
<i>♪ You and me shall always be as one ♪</i>

1883
01:27:34,880 --> 01:27:38,505
<i>♪ See what happiness has done ♪</i>

1884
01:27:39,171 --> 01:27:43,755
<i>♪ We must be in love ♪</i>

1885
01:27:44,380 --> 01:27:46,296
<i>♪ We must be in love ♪</i>

1886
01:28:00,213 --> 01:28:01,255
<i>♪ I sigh ♪</i>

1887
01:28:01,338 --> 01:28:02,588
<i>♪ I don't know why ♪</i>

1888
01:28:02,671 --> 01:28:03,838
<i>♪ I sigh ♪</i>

1889
01:28:03,921 --> 01:28:07,005
<i>♪ Is it that I'm lonely for you? ♪</i>

1890
01:28:09,463 --> 01:28:13,296
<i>♪ Are you lonely for me too? ♪</i>

1891
01:28:13,796 --> 01:28:18,046
<i>♪ We must be in love ♪</i>

1892
01:28:18,880 --> 01:28:19,796
<i>♪ Let me tell you now ♪</i>

1893
01:28:19,880 --> 01:28:22,213
<i>♪ I miss your tender kiss ♪</i>

1894
01:28:22,296 --> 01:28:24,505
<i>♪ Your tender kiss is what I miss ♪</i>

1895
01:28:24,588 --> 01:28:28,380
<i>♪ I have a strange desire ♪</i>

1896
01:28:29,130 --> 01:28:31,171
<i>♪ For your lips of fire ♪</i>

1897
01:28:33,421 --> 01:28:37,921
<i>♪ We must be in love ♪</i>

1898
01:28:39,546 --> 01:28:41,963
<i>♪ Do you love me too... ♪</i>