Tor story 2 WIP

Tor story 2
you wake up and tor is off somewhere in the house, you go up to her
So Torry what's goin o-
>WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?
it seems that Tor has been snooping through your laptop as usual but this time she found a program that wasnt there before
it was Maxthon cloud. a browser your boss had you install so you could sync up with "the cloud" or whatever that meant.
>YOU RETARD DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS HIVEMIND BOT DOES?! IT TAKES YOUR PERSONAL DATA AND REPORTS IT TO MICROSOFT
woah calm down Tor I was forced to do-
Tor destroys your laptop by throwing it against the wall
WHY THE FUCK DID YA DO THAT TOR?
>ITS WORSE THAN CHROME, ANON!
you know Tor, you get so adorable when you're angry
>That's beside the point
she tries to not act like the compliment didnt phase her, but you see she has turned rather red in the face
you sit down on the couch and you motion her to come over to you
calm your tits Torry, come on, if you lay on my lap i can brush your mane like you enjoy.
>dammit you got me anon, you're fuckin good at that
Oh is that all I'm good at?
>stop, you're making me blush you butt nugget.
well, i should have enough money left in my bank account to buy a replacement for what you broke but I'll need some insider knowledge of the market to make an informed decision
care to help me Tor?
>sure anon, but get a tablet, wonders have been done with them in the past decade
cool, lets head on down to best buy the people there would only be able to stammer at how cool you are while you hack their smartphones like the little criminal you are
in her best abridged alucard impression she could muster
>Oh yeah baby work the shaft
huh?
>Oh im sorry i tend to talk dirty when someone is SUCKING MY DICK.
well i never said you had to go along
>(back to her normal voice) and remember what happened last time i revealed my existance to anyone?
I haven't forgotten Tor, but you have to realise, John is a subhuman fuck that god would forgive me for murdering
>true, true.
And if it makes you feel better i can hide a can of mace in your mane that way if any of them grab you you can do your best imitation of that one police officer
>dont mind me, just watering my autists.
thats the spirit.
the trip seems to take forever because some moron got in a car crash cause he was texting like a tard and everyone was gawking.
>this was the text i was reading when i had my accident
Tor makes a holographic projection of the words "ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli"
dammit tor thats funny but stop im driving i dont want to die.
>fine.
you get there and all of the employees shoot a funny look as if saying "did i just see that?"
yeah you did see a pony, now get back to work or i'll report you to your supervisor.
So tor which model would you reccomend?
>lets see, i... would... go... with..... GOOGLE GLASS!
>that thing looks awesome and its faster than anything else out there right now... ooooooh holograph projection subroutine inclued!
>getitgetitgetitgetitigetitgetit get it NOOOOOWWWW!!.
Geeeez okay Tor i get it, you really like this one.
I'll take it!
well Tor since you are so knowledgeable about this kinda stuff I'll let you perform setup
>YAY! I love the smell of new tech in the morning
>anon im sorry for messin up your laptop, ill reinstall *shudders at the thought of it* maxthon cloud for ya
>i just dont see what you could see in a program like thi-oooooohhh faaasst.
You okay tor?
>fine, fine. lets see, customize avatar, modif- I know!
what are you doing you evil genious?
>noooothin
better be
>lets see, configure this color here, a few ones and a few zeros here.
Tor you better not be fucking up my new tablet
>dont worry i know what I'm doing
'MAIN HOLO-SCREEN TURN ON'
>Yay holographic projected images. now lets see if it works properly
>tablet recognize command open google images
'RECOGNIZED'
>type in "do a barrel roll"
'ACKNOWLEDGED'
you watch as Tor uses that old easter egg to make the holoscreen do a roll
Hey Tor i have an idea. modify the tablet's voice to sound like a dalek.
>good idea, tablet open user interface
'OPENING'
>tablet open a page of youtube
'OPENING'
>type in "dalek lines"
'SEARCHING'
>replicate vocal patterns to match the video
the tablet makes a few whirrs before Tor commands
>Tablet Acknowldege commands
' ELIMINATE ALL HUMANS. ACKNOWLEDGED'
holy balls thats funny, good job Torry
>thanks anon
Well fuck i guess tor knows what she's doing
welp im gonna take a nap, wake me up if anything interesting happens
not ten minutes later you awoken to a resounding THUD
TOOOORRR WHAT DID YOU DO?! you shout from your bedroom
a male voice responds, Tor didn't do anything because she is worthless.
You rush out to the living room with a hunting knife in hand ready to stab a nigga if someone did anything to Tor.
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU! AND HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE AND WHY ARE YOU A PONY
>isnt it obvious? Tor ruined the programing for your tablet and made a hologram come to life.
wouldn't that be considered a miracle?
>hardly considering the fact that i was made to come into being with such fools all around me. Feh, i cant stand the lot of you
Oh yeah, watch this, i know how to command you.
>as if, you filthy human
TABLET ACKNOWLEDGE COMMAND
'I AM YOUR SOLDIER, ACKNOWLEDGED'
MAKE THE NEW BROWSER BE TELEPORTED 40 FEET WEST OF ITS CURRENT LOCATION
'BEHOLD THE GREAT DALEK MIGHT, ACKNOWLEDGED'
>the fuck are you trying to do you moron?
nobody gets to insult me other than Tor. now enjoy your new master, he likes to be called john.
>WHAT?!
you could see the classic metal gear solid esque exclamation point above his head.
'ERROR ERROR, ACKNOWLEDGED'
'COMMENSING TELEPORTATION IN 3 MEGACYCLES'
'COMMENSING TELEPORTATION IN 2 MEGACYLCES'
'COMMENSING TELEPORTATION NOW'
you see the browser fade from your living room and then shortly you hear screams of horror which you could only imagine a situation the likes of.... wait one moment
TOR.
>yes?
open cupcakes.amv
>okay anon but im not sure what that will accomplish.
mute
>okay
you watch the horror scene between a pink and a cyan mare unfold to the screams of that cobalt bastard next door's screams
>damn anon you really know how to sync up some graphic shit
Hey tor.
>what do you want now you needy bastard?
I was just going to ask if you could check the news for more reports about browser ai's materializing
>fine numbnuts
Tor's amethyst eyes glaze over as she brings up on a projection that google is claiming responsibility for creating life
All my wat.
>dont blame ya anon those fags at google think themselves so high and mighty because they own the most used search tool
>It seems that many people who bought google glass are reporting materializing of their browsers as sapient creatures based upon user preferences and history
basic its not a glitch its a feature bullshit right?
>yep
hey Tor i have an idea.
>what is it
I give you that can of mace again and we knock on johns door to see what happened to that grey bastard
tor giggles
>sounds like a date
It will be, ill be sure to get you dinner afterwards.
>dinner and a show? you really know how to treat a girl
oh and since i figured you might like them i got you these.
you hand Tor a pair of tailored shorts and a child's size hoodie.
Tor puts them on.
>Sheit anon. Dinner, a show, aaand new clothes? you might just get something special later *she says with a flick of her tail*
As you head out the door you check backt to make sure that you locked the door, and you see that purple mare sitting on the porch.
whats wrong Torry?
>you didn't lock the door.
I left it open so in case john tries to bum rush you, you could run back to the house and hide.
and after we check up on the mutant we can lock the door
>Oh thats pretty smart
you see her frown turn into a big white grin
Hey tor might not wanna smile so big, the G-men at washington might use it as a parabola to a satelite relay.
>Dummy. she says as she sticks out her tounge at you
Tin foil head. you say as you do the same
you both laugh it off and go to knock on the mogoloid's door.
Tor stay behind me when i knock on this door, i do not want anything to happen to you but damn this is gonna be funny.
>understood.
as you knock on the door you hear heavy breathing and 2 voices shouting.
one is saying i loooovvvv pooooonnnnyyy
The other is shouting "NO NOOO NOO NONONONONNOOOOOOOOOOO I DONT WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR TEA PARTY, NO I WONT FOLLOW YOU TO THE GAY BATHOUSE, UNTIE ME AT ONCE YOU BUFFOON!"
apparently they didnt hear you.
>Hey anon.
What?
>dya think we hsould help maxthon?
Naw he kinda deserves it after what he said.
You knock louder.
apparently maxthon heard you
>HEEEEEELLP HELLLP ME, I AT LEAST WANT TO KNOW WHO IS HELPING ME WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?
Tor responds
>Satan.
good one Tor, now lets head on out.
>sounds good to me
as you are walking away you hear maxthon cry out
>THIS ISNT THE LAAHST YEL EAR FROM MEEE, NO OH GOD WHY I DONT LIKE DRESSES IM A GUY PONY.
So Tor where ya wanna go?
>hmmm let me bring up groupon
Sure, saving money works for me.
>F-in A, that italian place a few blocks away has a 2-4-1 deal goin on about spaghetti and meatballs
Cool its been a while since ive had good guido food
So Tor, Car or walk?
>we could use the exercise, especially with how much pasta im gonna eat
One moment i have to go back in the house for something then.
>o-kay then?
trust me itt'l be good.
>whatever you say loser.
Lets go.
You traverse the 7 blocks rather quickly, Tor trotting at your side in her adorable purple hoodie and pants.
As you arrive at linguini Joes you get shot a funny look by the waitress who was going to lead you to your table
>umm anon i would rather have a booth, they are comfy.
That we can agree on.
Hey miss, we would rather have a booth.
You hear the waitress mumble under her breath while puffing out a cloud of smoke from her cig "whatever ya fuckin weirdo."
tor whispers to you loud enough for the waitress to hear, "Well i guess she didn't want that hundred dollar tip you were going to give her cause you were in such a good mood".
You immediately see the waitress perk up and do her best kissing ass routine for her previous rudeness.
As you sit down you notice there is someone else in the restaraunt with another browser AI.
You cant make out the face of the guy the AI is with but you see that it has White skin, Red hair with a streak of White going through it.
Hey tor, you think we should introduce ourselv-
>No you dipshit, its probably a worker for google trying to catalog all the local AI embodiments so his skynet buddies can pull a night intruder.
Hide yo kids?
>Hide yo wife cause they be snatchin up erryone up in here.
Eh fair enough.
Tor notices the Ai across the restaraunt is being very "public access wifi" about her and that guy.
You didnt even pay attention because you were looking over the menu.
tor surprises you with a peck on the cheek
Yes i love you too tor, but im hungry so, pasta > making out right now
Tor sees the Ai over there locked in a deep kiss with the man
Tor goes under the booth and hops back up on your side of it, turns your head to her and locks you into a passionate french kiss.
Startled you cant help but give into her and continue the tounge action until the waitress interupts you
>HEY earth to kind sir, i will need your order.
we will have the 2-4-1 deal on the spaghetti and meatballs.
You hear the waitress mumble ever so faintly something about "animal lover faggot".
Hey Torry.
>Wha- oh yeah, I've been recording everything the waitress was saying, even when she was out of earshot for you.
Tor, when was the last time i told you how awesome you are?
>Yesterday.
Well you're pretty fuckin awesome you know that?
and you begin scratching that indigo mare behind her left ear and you can almost hear hur purring like a cat.
Your food arrives and so does theirs, You gave Tor most of your meatballs, and the AI at the other table gave her man all of hers
>seems like someone cant handle their meat.
I only gave you some of mine cause i know how much you like them.
>not you dummy, the cracker over there.
Why should you care what they're doing, TOr? they're out enjoying themselves like we are.
>if she was any whiter she would be a grand wizard at a ghost convention.
Okay now thats just r-BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA who am i kiddin thats funny as hell.
When tor isnt looking you bring out the item you had brought from home, it was a small plastic baggie and you begin to fill it with the red pasta.
Hey Torry, wanna race to see who can finish fi-
Before you can even finish your sentance Tor begins scarfing down her food at a rate that would make kobayashi proud.
Tor finishes all her pasta sooner than you finish half of yours.
Shit Torry, i should enter you in an eating contest.
>you have no idea how many calories i burn through searching the internet each day, its roughly.... ALOT!
Well then I'll be sure to buy more food later.
>damm righ yu wiw. (she says as she is attacking your saucy dish).
well i hope that these arent the only meatballs you'll be putting in your mouth later.
Tor's face reddens with embarrasment.
You think to yourself, damn i not only have a kick ass mare for a girlfriend but she's pretty damn hot too. just look at that tight fitting denim.
As you go to get up and pay the bill for your meal, Tor unknowingly activated your trap card.
>whats the rush loverboy?
you unleash the baggie of noodles and tomato sauce from your pocket to land on the floor.
Tor bursts out laughing as spaghetti did fall out of your pocket.
>you pay your bill and head back to Tor, you ask her to bring up the audio log of the waitress.
>Oh i was planning on it.
Your little firecracker without missing a beat plays all the things the waitress said loud enough for everyone in the restaraunt to hear.
As you walk home you see a car slow down enough to spit at you and the driver gives you the finger.
Hey tor, I think that was the former waitress.
>Serves the bitch right.
At least she missed, Right?
as you approach your house.
>Anon i had so much fun on our date, im really glad I went out toninght.
Well I couldn't call myself much of a gentleman if I didn't walk you 'all' the way home.
>Hey anon, could I invite you in for some 'hot coffee'?
I would be delighted.
You think to yourself 'Damn, I must be like rico suave, either that or Descartes has given me a blessing'.
you unlock the door, head inside and the hole place is trashed.
>WHAT THE FUCK WE GOT ROBBED ANON!
Look closer Torry, nothing is missing. You think maxthon escaped?
>How would he have gotten inside without busting a window?
Shit you're right. It could have been the waitress, but how would she know where we live?
>blistering fuckbuckets anon we gotta straighten this mess up.
As you go to the laundry room you find something.
HEY TOR!
>YEAH?
You might wanna come over here, i think i found the source of the mess.
As Tor turns the corner and comes into the laundry room to see what you are going on about, you hear some faint mumbling
>what the fuck is this?
>GET UP YOU FUCKING TORNADO!
with that you see a gray mare leap out from under the white load
Hmmmm Tor what do you make of this?
>well lets see, Your scouter ca-
Scouter?
>Yeah i think its funny, look at google glass, it looks like a scouter from DBZ.
Wow, astute observation but back to the situation at hand, or hoof for that matter.
>Oh, right. Lets see, grey, blue mane with a red streak through it. has the safari logo on its ass.
>figure it out dipshit.
Hmm, it seems maxthon wasnt the only AI to come from my new tech.
Its okay safari, We wont hurt yo-
>he wont hurt you, but I might if you piss me off.
TOR!
>fine I'll shut up.
Thank you. now safari are you okay?
>huh? whus goin on.
you clearly woke her from a slumber and she is still trying to piece together whats going on around her.
Hey tor, you werent like this when you came into existance if i remember correctly.
>yeah but i was from your laptop which was well set up and had run over 1000 hours prior.
True, well i guess that makes a difference.
Hey safari, im guessing you tore up the place because you were startled and hungry, am I right?
you see her nod shyly at you.
you kneel down to eye level with her so you dont appear as mennacing.
Hey tor would ya go into my closet and look under the shoe rack.
>fine but i hope you know what you are doing.
Tor brings back a light purple hoodie with indigo tassles.
Thank you tor, now here Safari try this on, it should keep you warm.
Safari tries to put the hoodie on but has trouble fitting her head through.
>hehehe she looks like a dog with its head stuck in a paper bag.
Tor not now, I'm trying to calm her down, not piss her off.
Safari: Thank you master for this gift.
Tor: master?
Safari: Our master has given me clothes, Safari is eternally grateful
Tor: what next? the hoodie is 'your precious'?
Safari: AI designation TOR please do not mock me.
Well then it looks like everyone is getting alo-
You are cut off by the loud rumbling coming from Safari's direction.
Thats right, i have to get you something to eat. Follow me Safari.
She reluctantly tails you to the kitchen as you prepare a meal for her, its some leftover spaghetti and meatballs from the restaraunt.
As you set the plate down on the floor for Safari to enjoy you see her take one sniff and turn her head.
What's wrong with pasta?
Safari: the pasta is acceptable, however.....
I take it you dont want the beef.
Safari: precisely, as an equine my body is not capable of processing carnivorous items of food.