Lilly Route: Conflict: 1-1, Endless Summer

The sun seeps in through the blinds, an intense light bleaching the walls of my room. I lay in bed with my eyes locked on the ceiling, staring at the lamp fixture, not wanting to get up and face the day. My eyelids weigh a ton, I can barely keep them open.

I know my alarm hasn't rung yet, but it will very soon, those strange minutes between when I should wake up and when I actually do ticking away rapidly. It would make sense to get up and turn the clock off before it begins to blare and scream at me, but I can't bring myself to do it. My sleep schedule has been terrible since I got out of the hospital, both from my internal clock being ruined and my medication, and I've spent more than a few nights either sleeping in too late or not sleeping at all. The last few moments of rest melting away are precious to me and I'd rather not let go of them just yet.
I feel like it will be a very bad day today.

I close my eyes for just a little while longer.

I shuffle over and bump into something warm and soft. Not anticipating any other occupants, I'm pleased to find a head of blonde hair resting on the pillow next to me when I groggily clear the sleep from my eyes. I smile at her, the unexpected, little surprise lying in my bed. “Lilly....”

She turns with a shuffle towards me and gives a little yawn. “Good morning, Hisao.”

I smile and touch her face. “I miss you.”
She giggles and draws closer. “I'm right here.”
“I know. Is it bad that I still miss you?“
She pulls up next to me, her warmth more comforting than that of the blankets and sheets around me. “Silly. You have to get sleep sometime. You can't spend every minute awake just to be with me.“
“I wish I could. Sleep is overrated,” I say, kissing her hair.

Every moment I have with Lilly feels like I'm cheating fate out of some priceless treasure. I recall the news about Scotland, her leaving Yamaku, the paper crane that still sits on my side table, the mad dash for the airport and my subsequent collapse. The hospital came next and those torturous moments when I thought she was gone forever before a tiny music box told me the truth.

Since then, I haven't wanted her out of my sight for even a single moment, afraid she might vanish into thin air if I lose track of her. Every minute away from her has been torment. Even the time spent sleeping seems to be a waste if I can't even be aware of her presence. Not that I haven't had dreams of her often recently. She seems to be the only thing I think about anymore, awake or asleep.

I pull her close to me and she presses into my chest, nuzzling her face against my skin, breathing in deep, slow sighs. “Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere.“

I hold onto her tightly. I still haven't gotten over the thought of almost losing her. I made quite the scene concerning her visits during my stay at the hospital. The doctors had suggested the idea of having her wait until my parents gave permission for her to be around after hours. I showed them I did not like that idea.

I also remember the meeting with my parents. I'm glad it went better than I expected, even if my Mother was upset over the fact I had a girlfriend and had not mentioned it before. Dad seemed to take it very well, happy to see that I was all right and making some progress in life, both personally and academically.

I sigh in distaste. I know we're barely half-way through summer, but I still feel like it isn't enough time. I spent too long in that stupid hospital being poked and prodded by doctors who didn't even have the decency to remember my name without consulting a chart. When they didn't have one near at hand, I was 'Young Man' or 'Sir' or some of the older ones had the audacity to call me, 'Son'.

I hate doctors.

The hospital was a waste of time. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Lilly was all the incentive I needed to heal quickly. They called my swift recovery unexpected, but I had no reason to stay in that place, I had to salvage what little vacation time I had left to be with Lilly.

“What are you doing this morning?” Lilly asks expectantly, interrupting another one of her sleepy yawns.
I think for a moment. “Well, first things first, I take my pills.“
“Good.”
"Then I'll go out and get some exercise. Maybe do a couple laps around the track."
Her smiles lessens. "You'll be all right, yes? You'll be careful?"
I sigh. “Yes, I will. I promise.”
She seems relieved, smiles and pinches me playfully. “Just what I wanted to hear.”

I've been careful about keeping track of my medication and I'm still trying to get the exercise my heart needs to stay healthy, both things I should have started long ago. I don't need another episode to drive the point home again a second time. Lilly certainly has been helping me on that issue. It troubles me that if I had taken better care of myself beforehand I most likely wouldn't have had my second attack. The thought that I might have caught up to Lilly and not risked losing her also bothers me. My heart nearly cost me everything, just as it did before. Had I been more up front with my condition, perhaps I would have been more confident and wouldn't have let thing spiral out of control, resulting in Lilly almost leaving the country.

Never mind that. It doesn't matter now.

I kiss her once more, this time on the cheek before I begin to stir and sit up. “Leaving already?” she asks.
I chuckle. “I have to get ready.”
She pouts her lips playfully. “It's lonely. Come back.”
“Lilly, we really should get ready for today.“
She sighs. “I know, I know.”

Lilly looks in to be in thought and I've learned to be wary of that. “Do you really need to leave?” she asks.
“I need to get my pills, and I've been putting off exercise for too long. It's time I start doing something about that.”
“Your pills are here, I won't let you forget those, not anymore, but as for exercise,“ she says, lilting a delicate eyebrow alluringly, ”you can get that right here as well. We won't even have to leave the bed.“

My heart picks up a half pace.
Steady on, lad.

“I really should....”
“I promise not to tire you out too much. You'll still have plenty of energy to exercise later if you want.“

She's trying to distract me, I know it. Lilly wants me to take my medication, but she's still concerned about me exercising, pushing myself.
I don't blame her; the idea scares me a little too.
She slithers up and over me pressing me into the bed while straddling my hips, using her hands to find and maneuver herself over me. I'm reminded I went to bed in boxers last night since it was so warm and it's not doing much to help separate me from Lilly.

“Let me help you get warmed up. I could use the wake-up, as well,” she whispers.

Lilly leans down and uses the tips of her fingers to find my lips, kissing me very deeply, drawing me out into the gesture, luring me to respond. I can't help but comply.

Running seems like a very boring way to get my heart rate going.

She shimmies atop me, getting into position, lifting her arms above her head and dragging her long hair up and above her, stretching her chest out in front of me invitingly.

Without hesitation, I run my fingers up her body and cup her chest into my hands, causing her to giggle expectantly.

“Hisao....”
“Yes?”
“Hisao?”
“Yes?”
“Hisao!”
“Huh?”
“If you don't let go of me right now, I'm going to slug you in the face, you creep!“

I blink and open my eyes.

Now I'm actually awake.

I am in my room, in bed. I am not alone. Lilly is not here.

I blink, clearing my eyes of sleep and find a short girl in pigtails standing at my bedside. She is furious about something.
I look down at my hands.
This chest is inadequate.

I release the offending objects and hurl myself back in bed, toppling over the other side, sheets and pillows falling down around me, crying out as I do.

Why does this sort of thing keep happening to me?

I lie on the floor in a daze as the intruder comes around the bed, righteous fury in her eyes and on her face. “What the hell is wrong with you!? I come to check up on you and you start feeling me up? You're a perv, Hisao!“

I sit on the floor, trying to grasp what's going on.

With a sigh, I remember the sad state of things;

I'm stuck at Yamaku while Lilly spends the rest of the summer at Shizune's house, nothing but daily phone calls, sometimes two or three a day, to keep us connected. I went to sleep last night with her on the phone. She's been driven down by Akira a couple times but nothing more than an afternoon spent together, dinner with Hanako, the four of us at a tea party.

I miss her.

I look up at the person glaring down at me and yawn. “What are you doing in my room,” I ask sourly.

Emi crosses her arms over her chest protectively, her face still red. “I already told you! I'm checking up on you! What's with the grabby hands? I could have you arrested for groping!“

I glare at her menacingly. “You're the one breaking and entering.” I gather the pillows and sheets and cover myself with them, getting up off the floor.
“It's not breaking,” Emi says, “I had a key!”
“Where did you get a key to my room?”
“Nurse gave it to me. He has a master key for every room at Yamaku. For emergencies!“
“Is this an emergency?”
“It is now! I'm being assaulted!”
“You still entered without permission. That's entering.”
"No one gets charged with entering, that's stupid, and it's called trespassing."
"Then you're trespassing."
"Am not. I'm here for your benefit."
"A few hours sleep would benefit me better than this."
"Then I'm here for your well being!"
I look her up and down. She's wearing her running clothes and legs.
Not a good sign.

“What are you doing here?“
“Official school business.”
“It's summer, what 'official school business'?”
“Your business, Hisao! I'm here to make sure you're taking care of yourself.“
I groan. “Not this again....”

“Yes, 'this' again! You blew me off before, but you won't get away from me this time around! I told you in the hospital; you're my bitch now!“

I glare down at her, wrapped in my sheets, a small tent over my head. “Why are you here, anyway? You went to your Mom's for summer.“
“Nurse drove me when he came in for work. I have to keep my eye on you. You're a sneaky one!“
I squint at her. “Nurse picked you up?”
“No, I hitched a ride with him when he left the house this morning.“
I blink.
“...what was Nurse doing at your house that early?”

Emi blinks as well before her cheeks turn red. She stammers and stumbles over her words and then gets angry. “That's none of your business, stop changing the subject!“ she cries hastily. ”Now are you coming or not?“

I groan. “I don't wanna'.“

Emi scowls and holds a familiar looking cell phone in my face. “Don't make me use this!“
“You gonna tattle on me to Nurse?“
“Worse! I'm calling your girlfriend!“
I stare at her. “You don't have Lilly's phone number....“
“I know I don't. That's why I swiped your phone from the nightstand before I woke you up.“

My eyes dart over to the bed side, find that my cell is gone, and dart back to Emi as she waves my phone around menacingly. “You wouldn't...."

“Try me, buster! I know she's on speed dial."
"You don't know which button."
"It's number one, isn't it?"
Damn it!
"You'd better run with me," she threatens, "or I'll tell your girlfriend you're not taking care of yourself and that you felt me up!“

I narrow my eyes. “You're a liar, Emi, even you wouldn't do that just to get me to exercise,” I say, calling her bluff.

She presses the button.

I lunge as quickly as I can, but Emi is already on the other side of the bed, narrowly ducking out of reach. I trip over the sheets tangling around my feet and I go down, tumbling to the floor.  I can hear the phone ringing for the second time. “Don't do it, Emi!“
“Are you going to run?“
“Yes! Yes, I will, just hang up! Please!“

Emi is still hanging onto my phone, dangling it above her head and about to declare her victory before we both hear a tiny, tired voice emit from the small speaker. “...hello? Hello? Is anyone there?“

Both of us stop dead in our tracks, unsure of our next move.
Emi stares blankly at me.
“What now?“ I whisper to her.
She shrugs. “I don't know. I didn't think this far ahead,“ she whispers back.

“Hello?“ the phone continues. “Hisao, is that you?“

I gesture for Emi to hand me the phone, which she does, acting as if the cell could explode at any moment.
“Lilly! Hi!“ I say a little too forcefully.
“Oh, Hisao! Good! I thought I heard someone else over the phone. I thought...it sounded like a girl....“

There's a moment of silence for both of us, at the end of which we both laugh.

“Good morning,“ she says fondly.
I chuckle, settling down. “Good morning. I didn't wake you up, did I?“

“Yes, but I don't mind.“ I hear her yawn a little. “Was there something specific you called for? It's rather early for you.“
“No, I just...I just wanted to hear your voice.“

Lilly makes a touched sound. “At least you were the one who called. I feel like I'm monopolizing your day with all the times I've called you.“

I sit on the edge of my bed, phone to my ear. “Don't feel that way. I'm glad to talk. I have nothing else to do without you here.“
“I'll be there this afternoon.“ Lilly sighs wistfully and perhaps a little sadly. “I'll meet you over at the female dorms. Hanako's leaving today.“

I chuckle. “I know. Still upset about that?”
“I'm only concerned about her.”
“You don't have to be. She would have already been gone if Naomi and Natsume hadn't postponed leaving until I was out of the hospital. Hanako wouldn't have been able to enjoy the trip if she thought I was still in trouble.“

“I know,” Lilly says with a stressed tone. “I'm just worried, that's all.”

I wish I could kiss her right now, comfort her “She'll be all right. She'll have fun. You need to stop worrying so much. She won't be able to enjoy herself if she thinks you're concerned about her.“
“I don't like it when the people I care about are away from me, Hisao.“
Boy, do I know how that feels.  “I know, I know, but Hanako can handle herself. She's come a long way.“
Lilly sighs sadly. “I know she has.”

“What else do you have planned?”
"Shizune and Misha are coming."
I groan.
Lilly laughs. "Don't worry, they have plans of their own. They'll be around for lunch and we'll have the whole rest of the day to ourselves."
“Ourselves? Just me and you today? What about Akira?“
“She's driving me down, yes, but she said she has some business to attend to. Whatever it is, she seems to be very touchy about it. She says it's nothing to be worried about, that she can handle it. I've learned when she gets like that, it's best to let her have her way and let her be.“
“Well, good. Not that she's worried, that we'll get the whole day together.“
“It'll be nice.“
“Do you have an idea of what you'd like to do today?“

The innocent question on my part hangs in the air for a few breathes before Lilly makes a low, playful giggle over the phone.

I can feel my face turn red and I turn away from Emi, who's been standing in the corner, hands over her mouth to keep any noise from squeaking out.

“You'll be here soon, right?“
“Eager?“
“Maybe a little. Is it obvious?“
“Hmm. Very. It's a long drive.“
“I can't wait.“
“Neither can I. Have you taken your pills?“
I laugh. “No, Mom.“

I can imagine the pout on her face even as she talks. “Don't call me that....“
“Sorry, but you're like a mother hen with her egg.“
“That's not a very flattering simile, Hisao. Someone has to make sure you take care of yourself.“
“Don't worry. I'm on top of it, I promise.“

She murmurs in agreement. “I know you are.“
"And don't worry," I say, glancing at Emi in the corner, still silent as the grave. "I'll be running for exercise today."
There's a long silence on the line. "You'll be all right, yes?"
Deja vu, I chuckle. “I will. Already covered.“
"Just...please be careful, all right? I worry."
"I know. I promise I will."
“Good. Later, yes?“
“Yes. I love you.“
“I love you, Hisao.“

We spend a few passes trying to hang up on the other, both of us unwilling to cut the line.
I put the phone back on the table when we're done and sigh.
I miss her.

“You two are adorable together!“ Emi exclaims, breaking my concentration.

I throw a pillow at her and hit her straight in the face. “I could have gotten in a lot of trouble because of you!“

Emi laughs, tossing the pillow aside. “Nah, Lilly doesn't strike me as the jealous type. Besides, you're the one who felt me up and was chasing me around your bedroom in your boxers just a second ago!“ Her grin turns menacing. “So,“ she says with a little challenge in her voice, “are you coming or do I have to have a little conversation with your girlfriend when she gets here?“
“Yes, yes, I'm coming. Just give me a minute, okay? I just woke up.“
“Can I trust you not to run away?”
I smile at her. “Wouldn't that be exercise?”

Emi gets a look of indignation on her face before deciding that my need for privacy outweighs the possibility of me dodging her again. “Fine, just don't climb out the window. I have eyes on you.“

Emi leaves my room leaving me sitting on the bed.
I sigh, still tired, but I give up on the idea of any more sleep today.

I stand and throw the pillows and sheets on the bed in a heap. I don't bother making the bed. Without Lilly spending the night, I've gotten messy in my habits again. On my bedside table are several bottles of pills, each with their own label and instructions which I take note of very carefully. Since I got out of the hospital, I've been more mindful of my condition, and with hindsight, it's alarming just how much I put off confronting my heart, how far I let myself go. It's amazing I only had the flutters I did with how negligent I was becoming.

I reach over and pick up the paper crane, holding it out in front of me.

Just like Lilly telling me about Scotland, I was avoiding the issue, I was avoiding the conflict.

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1-2: http://pastebin.com/2NBxCbiC